BiblioSquirrel

Kevin Drum

2008-07-17T20:27:00.004-05:00

Kevin Drum, a political blogger that I likes a lot, is in Austin this week for the Netroots Nation convention. He's hearing Wes Clark speak tonight at the keynote address. Cool.

I gave him some barbecue recommendations, of course. Wish I could just take off tomorrow. I'd drag him out to the Salt Lick for bbq and pecan pie and then retire to the Saxon Pub for live music.

Fire Fitz

2008-07-17T19:58:00.002-05:00

So, no surprise, Karl Rove was trying to get Patrick Fitzgerald fired along with all those other U.S. Attorneys he managed to get canned DURING THE TIME FITZGERALD WAS INVESTIGATING THE VALERIE PLAME LEAK.

Hey, is Turdblossom still on his unannounced "vacation" out of the country?

BREAKING: DAME HELEN MIRREN STILL HOT

2008-07-17T00:29:00.002-05:00

Just give it up now, youngsters. Helen Mirren has been and always will be the hottest woman to ever live EVER. Oh yeah, and she's 63. 63!!! And she'll be good and hot well into her 90s.

Here she is in an earlier hot stage of her life, starring with the HANDSOMEST BEARD EVER ON FILM EVER which is growing out of James Mason's face. 1969's Age of Consent.

Some fantasies really do come true. *siiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Morally Coercive

2008-07-17T00:20:00.002-05:00

Oh man. Irony really IS truly dead as fuck. I can't wait to get these "pro-family" motherfuckers out of the White House and out of all the various Departments of Fuckuppery.

BLEAK DESPAIR

2008-07-16T23:58:00.003-05:00

Yes! The Dark Knight is out this weekend. Reviews look good. The dude from AusChron shat out the following graf:

It's jam-packed with flawlessly designed set-pieces and skullduggery, sure, but it's also shrouded in grim portent, overlaid with a filigree of despair, and, for good measure, covered in a patina of dire consequence.

SOLD! I'LL TAKE TEN TICKETS. Oh, wait, I think all those fancy words were meant to be interpreted in a negative way. Whatever, you pinko-commie Austinite muffin-eater. It's Christian Bale as Batman, my favorite hero besides Wolverine gawddammit!, with Christopher Nolan directing. I hear poor ol' dead Heath Ledger is pretty good in it.

Oooo. Love this graf, too:

And then, above it all, dramatically backlit and eternally conflicted, towers Bale's Batman, an icon who, in the three years since Batman Begins, has had all the vitality sucked out of him. He growls more here than he did in Nolan's first foray into the franchise (Batman Begins), and he's buffer, too, if such a thing is possible, sporting cheekbones that look as though they were sculpted with a Dremel.

I'LL TAKE 20 TICKETS FOR I TOO AM ETERNALLY CONFLICTED. I'll have to work on that whole backlit thing.

Lunch Time with Bikini Man

2008-07-16T11:00:00.000-05:00

Honey, I think we DO need to have more work done on the house next summer. Something involving master carpentry. From the Express-News:

A master carpenter, Duncan has worked at homes across the city, usually with little incident. But there have been a few complaints. During one stint as a site foreman in the Lavaca neighborhood, Duncan estimates that police showed up at least half a dozen times. He was never arrested, and counts only one job lost because of the bikini. (The contractor let him go after a neighbor threatened to contact the news media.)

Client Tony Straus, who last month received calls from neighbors worried about a half-naked man in his driveway, says Duncan's work is worth it.

“You definitely have to warn your wife before he comes over,” Straus says. “But his work is wonderful.”

Sometimes, when the bikini draws the attention of neighbors, Duncan picks up their business.

“It's not the intent to advertise this way, but it happens,” he says.

Other practical benefits of daily bikini wear include less time and money spent washing and shopping for clothes and easy cleanup after a messy day on the job.

Warn your wife? Well that would just take all the fun out of it. Plus, that would give her time to change into her hotpants and coif her 'do.

On one of his regular Thursday night bike rides, Duncan and his crew of cyclists stop along their downtown route for beers at the Mix and Beethoven Maennerchor Halle und Garten. The group ends up at Sam's Burger Joint and Duncan strolls in wearing a banana-yellow bikini, tennis shoes and American flag ankle socks. Duncan stands in the middle of the busy restaurant playing the social butterfly.

One woman stops and openly stares at him, taking in every inch of his tiny outfit.

“You're looking at me like an object,” he protests weakly.

Before their conversation is over, they have talked about their experiences with marriage, being single and grief over lost love.

“People are very accepting of the bikini. It's blown me away,” says Alan Sansome, a longtime friend and fellow cyclist who is among the group. “He's got charisma. He can do this stuff. I can't. That's why I like being around him.”

Thursday nights, eh? Duly noted.

A Man in Every Port(ugal): Weather With You

2008-07-16T08:15:00.000-05:00

Well, our good friend Victor's summer visit to his home island of Terceira (Portugal) is about to come to a close! He's weathered his broken collarbone OK and has even been getting some hot bull action during several tourada a corda (bull on rope) outings in the last week or so. He's got one more tourada today. Don't get brave here at the very last, friend-o.

Anyhoo, during his collarbone recovery, he managed to snap a few sunny scenes to share with those of us less fortunate who have been sequestered at home this summer painting walls and dodging laser-wielding doctors. Click to enlargen. Enjoy!

Arena Bullfight

Victor: I mentioned to you how on the first arena bullfight one of the cavaleiro's horses fell. Well, there's a video of it here: http://touradasnaterceira.com/colhida.html. Notice how he sticks the "ferro" on the bull with an over the shoulder move -- which is a pretty cool and difficult -- just before the horse falls. I noticed in the slow motion replay that the bull actually nips the horse's butt, which is probably why the horse fell. Anyway... a very scary moment. But the caveleiro is alive. His parents (his father was a famous cavaleiro himself) flew to the island. I'm not sure what injury he sustained, but I understand he'll be fine.

Beach Scene featuring a gaggle of guppies, one hot male, and a verrry fascinated young boy

Exquisite View from the rich eccentric cousin's casa

Espera de Gado - blocking the streets for the running of the bulls

Better Alone than with Bad Company

Tourada a Corda

Victor: Yesterday I went to a tourada a corda in Vila Nova, which turned out to be the place where I got caught on a pole with the bull banging on it many years ago. But not being able to run really sucks. I stayed mostly on a wall, and it's just not the same thing.

Yummy Desserts that Victor has promised to get the recipe for

Festa Brava - Young Boy already hooked on bulls

Monte Brasil

Victor: My sister took me to a place in the island that I had never been to and I really like the view of the city and Monte Brasil from there.

Terceira 2008, over and out. May you come back in one piece, my friend. And hey, I either want a ceramic penis vase from Lisbon or that recipe from your sister! Your choice.

Love

2008-07-14T21:33:00.002-05:00

I dearly love this blog. Hadn't visited it in a while. Had some spare time tonight and was feeling kinda lonely, so I stopped by this evening.....man.

...

I just got back from visiting my own family. Mom turned 70 on Thursday. For now she's getting around fine, looks pretty damn good, and has an older boyfriend who takes her out dancing and thinks she hung the moon. I'm glad she finally seems happy. It's still difficult to be around her, to talk to her, but at least she's mellow-ing with age a bit. Scribbler's story about her mom and the Georgia O'Keeffe rock hit pretty close to home.

Grab life while you can. Don't be late.

Late for Your Life - Mary Chapin Carpenter / listen for free here

You've been saying for the longest time that the time has come
You've been talking like you're of a mind to get some changing done
Maybe move out of the city, find some quiet little town
Where you can sit out on your back porch step
And watch the sun go down

No one knows where they belong
The search just goes on and on and on
For every choice that ends up wrong
Another one's right
A change of scene would sure be great
The thought is nice to contemplate
But the question begs why would you wait
And be late for your life

Now you might never find that perfect town
But the sun still sets on a rooftop where the city
Sounds like a Gershwin clarinet
And you might still be searching every face for one you can't forget
Love is out there in a stranger's clothes
You just haven't met him yet

No one knows where they belong
The search just goes on and on and on
For every day that ends up wrong
Another one's right
Call it chance or call it fate
Either one is cause to celebrate
Still the question begs why would you wait
And be late for your life

Call it chance baby, call it fate
Either one is cause to celebrate
And the question now is why would you wait
Don't be late for your life

Classy

2008-07-14T20:39:00.003-05:00

Meet my new inspiration: Tempest Storm.

Her act is a time capsule. She knows nothing of poles. She would never put her derriere in some man's face. Her prop of choice is a boa, perhaps the occasional divan.

It takes four numbers, she says adamantly, four numbers to get it all off. To do it classy.

Classic burlesque, baby, yeah. Now THAT is sexy!

Here she is demonstrating the moves of a confident, warm, real woman, not some pouty junior high cheerleader with pole issues:

The art of the tease. Niiice. Also, in case you didn't know, women ARE supposed to jiggle like that.

Shipment of FAIL

2008-07-14T20:09:00.004-05:00

The New Yorker's shipment of FAIL has arrived re: the Obama/Osama cover. BagNewsNotes explains why the intended parody just isn't there. It's missing something. Actual parody.

I Like the Way You Get Down

2008-07-11T10:42:00.004-05:00

Mmmmmm mmmmm mmmmmmmmm. It really turns me on. Lyrics in a previous post dedicated to my hubby who just had teh eye surgeree. Better than perfect vision means I'll have to wear makeup all the time now, honey? Just don't look at me while I'm naked and bent over the sink brushing my teeth, ok? Not. Sexy. on the flip side, he should be able to spot squirrels for me at 50 yards. Sweeet.

As for the rest of y'all...go visit Bob over at his space.

Flavors Too Strong

2008-07-11T10:28:00.002-05:00

I always got hot biscuits bakin' in my oven. Heehee. You can't stop it 'cause the flavors too strong.

This is from the Chicago show that I missed back in May by this much. Damn. Looks like it was a good one, too. The flavor is very strong.

Getting Better

2008-07-11T10:15:00.004-05:00

It's been a while. It feels like a Bob Schneider Friday, doesn't it? Yeah, it does.

Here's Bob showing off his humor during a solo show. Haha. And showcasing the importance of music education! Love you, Bob. Can't wait to see you again. Your imagery makes my brain eternally moist.

Getting Better - Bob Schneider

Driving downtown in my big red Cadillac
sipping on ice wine, mixing it with Similac
feeling that amazing flow
of centuries in the afterglow

Got my stereo set for nothing but big beats
windows open sound of the city streets
blowing through the night like a tiger in a movie
feeling kind of groovy

And it's (la la la) oh it's getting better now (la la la)
I can only see how (la la la)
it's a big beautiful day (la la la)
nothing's standing in my way (la la la)
Oh its getting better now (la la la)
I can only see how (la la la)
all the birds are singing her name (la la la)

Holding in the world and the world is full of love
everything I feel is coming from above
feeling the amazing flow
of centuries in the afterglow

Widow weeds and crows and ice chests
stacked up to the tv - I don't want to forget
the way I feel whenever she's around
whenever she's around I've gotta make a sound like

(la la la) Oh it's getting better now (la la la)
I can only see how (la la la)
it's a big beautiful day (la la la)
and nothing's standing in my way (la la la)
Oh its getting better now (la la la)
now I can only see how (la la la)
all the birds are singing her name (la la la)
it's never gonna be the same (la la la)

One hundred forty thousand years ago
when I was just a wild-eyed buffalo
sky up above breathing by
with Calamity Jane my oh my

Nothing matters explosions in the eastern plain
jackhammers wrapped up in the novacaine
my what a girl -- can't forget about her
all the angels -- they are singing with me now

(la la la) Oh it's getting better now (la la la)
I can only see how (la la la)
it's a big beautiful day (la la la)
nothing's standing in my way (la la la)
oh its getting better now (la la la)
now I can only see how (la la la)
all the birds singing her name (la la la)
ain't nothing gonna be the same

Black Mark

2008-07-10T10:14:00.006-05:00

Russ Feingold to MSNBC's Rachel Maddow on the FISA bill passed by Congress (and voted for by Barack Obama) which was signed into law by President Bush today:

"It really is a black mark, not only on the Democrats, but on the Congress and really the history of our country.

And the same thing, Rachel, happened with regard to the PATRIOT Act, when we tried to fix it after it had been passed in a flawed way. There was this period of strength where Democrats held firm, and then they collapsed; and the same thing happened again here.

This administration, despite its weakness, somehow is able to raise the specter of being, as they say, 'soft on terrorism,' and unfortunately, Democrats, who can be so strong on domestic issues, somehow collapse.

And that's exactly what happened. This is a terrible piece of legislation. It's one of the greatest assaults on the Constitution, I think, in the history of our country. We are going to have to fix it, but it is a dark hour for the Constitution."

Scroll down to view the footage. Well, mostly to see Russ Feingold talking in his handsome suit and sexy tie. *ahem* Anyway, Feingold goes on to say that only a Democratic President can SAVE US ALL VOTE BARACK OBAMA and then I threw up in my mouth a little. It tasted like cheese. Havarti to be exact. Because that's what I ate this morning for breakfast.

No President will ever turn down the opportunity for ultimate spying power. Even if they are a Constitutional scholar. Obama voted for this "black mark." Never forget.

A Man in Every Port(ugal): souvenir

2008-07-09T20:56:00.002-05:00

OH MY GAWD VICTOR YOU HAVE TO SEND US ONE OF THESE FROM PORTUGAL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BEFORE THEIR BUSINESS GOES FLACCID. LOL.

Forget the Peanuts

2008-07-09T20:49:00.003-05:00

You might have bigger problems to worry about when you fly than trying to open that tiny fucking bag of peanuts. Like getting tagged and shocked like an animal.

Unemployment

2008-07-08T20:05:00.002-05:00

Robert Reich with a few simple facts about why most who lose their jobs don't get unemployment benefits. The job market has changed. The safety net hasn't.

Smell that Sell

2008-07-07T23:06:00.001-05:00

Oh my lord. This man could sell me liver flavored toothpaste and I'd happily brush my teeth with it. He is such a fucking sellout and I am a total mental slut for him. Oooohhhhhhhhh that smell...can you smell that sell?

Pilgrim's Pride

2008-07-07T09:10:00.006-05:00

Bo Pilgrim the Poultry Czar of East Texas and Governor Goodhair are feathering each other's nests. Not unusual political goings-on for the State of Texas, but repulsively amusing all the same. And just so the uninformed amongst y'all understand the crazy factor involved, here is a photographic likeness of Bo Pilgrim:

Yes, that is a chicken with an American flag in it's beak. But wait, there's more. Here's a photograph of the GIGANTIC BO PILGRIM HEAD that is installed at his chicken factory in Pittsburg, TX:

Summer and Smoke

2008-07-05T22:43:00.009-05:00

Just watched a fabulous southern summer angst drama entitled Summer and Smoke. Based on a Tennessee Williams play, it stars the impeccable stage actress Geraldine Page as Alma and the dashing Laurence Harvey as Johnny. Oh my lord the orchestral score by Elmer Bernstein was AMAZING. Perfectly suited for the play's sacred/profane duality.

As for the acting, I enjoyed the easy sexual tension exhibited between Johnny and the casino owner's daughter Rosa, played by the spicy Rita Moreno:

John: You never make love without scratching or biting something. Whenever I leave you I have a little blood on me. Why is that?

Rosa: Because I know I can't hold you.

This is an important exchange because later on John takes Alma to the casino where Alma witnesses her first cockfight. She gets a little blood on her proper blue lace blouse. Heh. Gotta love Tennessee Williams. Classic. Did make me wish for a more brutal actor as John - Harvey's features are a little delicate and not as animalistic as the role calls for. He comes off as charming and slick enough, but meh. A Robert Mitchum type would've suited fine. Yes, very fine indeed.

Supposedly the character of Alma was based on Williams sister, who of course went slowly insane. As Miss Kitty Wells used to sing, it wasn't God who made honky tonk angels...

I Hate Myself

2008-07-05T00:37:00.003-05:00

A tribute to Guitar Hero Aerosmith edition and my mood in general. Joan Jett fucking kicks ass.

And the Road Went on Forever in My Mind

2008-07-04T11:57:00.004-05:00

Guy Forsyth remembers and loves America. Happy 4th, y'all.

Flogged in Public

2008-07-02T23:16:00.004-05:00

What kind of a mother wants her husband flogged in public? One who's married to a porn-addicted little shit who hires an 18 year old to come work for him so he eventually seduce and fuck her and then hide huge sums of money for her under pot plants. And I'm sorry, but spending $3000 a month on porn so you can "get it up for one another?" That's not a little marital bedroom helper. That's an addiction. But the dude's lawyer has a point. She is on her fourth husband.

It's been said that men will never ever outdo women in two things: love and revenge. Was that Oscar Wilde? Probably. I'm too lazy to look it up.

Wacky Noodle Nine

2008-07-02T01:57:00.005-05:00

So I'm in line at my local H-E-B supermarket emptyin the basket and gettin ready to pay when hubby saunters up behind me with NINE (9) "Wacky Noodle" swimming pool toys. 3 green, 3 red, 3 blue. I'm all like, "Uhhhh, honey? You think you got enough water weenies there?" He smiles through his teeth at me with that look of "Oh, yeah, I'm bringin these puppies home!" So I sigh and cringe at the dollar a piece each one cost. Probably got like 2 cents of material in each one, if that.

That was over a week ago. All NINE (9) Wacky Noodles lived in the trunk of my car until today.

This morning we woke up all creaky and groany (leftover physical ailments from painting - we finally declared a truce with the walls at 3 a.m. on Thursday) so we decided to pop down to the community pool before lunch and before it became infested with neighborhood kids. We slather ourselves with 50 spf sunblock and jump in the pool. Well, not 5 minutes later hubby is out of the pool, dripping and proclaiming that he simply MUST go back to the house to retrieve his Wacky Noodles.

He makes the trek to and fro and comes back through the pool gate with all NINE (9) Wacky Noodles bundled into his arms. The kids at the pool stare in sheer awe at his collection of flotation devices. I roll my eyes and try not to laugh. (It only encourages him.) So he gets in the pool with all NINE (9) Wacky Noodles and proceeds to place 3 of them under his head, 3 under his back, and 3 under his knees. I've seen him happier on at least a handful of other occasions, none of them thank god involving a foam noodle.

I like to call 'em "water weenies" because, well, as George Carlin would say, "It's suggestive as hell." But hubby always corrects me, "Honey, YOU are my only water weenie!" Which is true, 'cause I don't like water in my eyes and I never learned how to breath while swimming. But I can doggie paddle until the cows come home and float like a buoy. I definitely do not require NINE (9) Wacky Noodles. Maybe hubby can weave them all together and make a lawn chair.

There's also the obvious joke referencing Dr. Strangelove that we no longer have a "Wacky Noodle gap" between us and the neighborhood kids. Heh.

This guy only has TWO (2) Wacky Noodles. What a loser!

When I'm Dead

2008-06-29T04:20:00.004-05:00

Are you getting enough, too little, or too much sleep? I'm probably getting too much, but as you can see what time I'm posting this, I even it out with weird sleep patterns. Today I took a 4 hour nap. I got 6 hours of sleep last night. And now I'm about to go back to sleep. Is this affecting how long I live? Well, whatever. I can rest when I'm dead. Get my own little tire on the lake of fire and just float hither and yon, hither and yaaaaaawn. Goodnight, y'all.