ex machina

30

2007-03-06T10:25:00.000-05:00

I'm 30 today. I haven't decided how I feel about it yet. I don't feel suddenly old, and most of the people I know went through this before me, including Patrick. I think the weirdest thing is talking about stuff that happened in high school and realizing that was fifteen years ago. Or realizing that Patrick and I have been together for most of the last decade.

I'm definitely in a better place than I was ten years ago, and I've accomplished pretty much all of the goals I had for myself then. I graduated college, started a successful career, and made it to New York. I also got married, which I didn't think would happen in my twenties, but I'd say it's a success since we'll be celebrating our seventh anniversary this May. Just in general, I think I'm a happier person than I used to be.

And this is shaping up to be a very good birthday. My brother was at my birthday party for the first time since I think when I turned ten. And Kerry will be here this coming Saturday. I got in to work this morning and Kelsey and Julia gave me a vase of tulips. Last night Patrick made me chocolate cupcakes. Tonight we're going to Tabla, because you can't go wrong with dressed up Indian food. And of course, in May we will be going to France to celebrate both of us entering our third decade (or is that fourth decade...).

Milestone Birthdays

2007-01-19T09:37:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to Patrick, who turns 29 for the 2nd year in a row today.

Happy 2007!

2007-01-01T13:36:00.000-05:00

New Year's Brunch
Contrary to what some readers may think, I do occasionally cook. I wanted to give Patrick a morning to sleep in and relax, since I rarely get out of bed early enough to get our breakfast. This morning I made brunch (click the photo for details.)

Last night we stayed in since you couldn't have paid us to be part of the million + people in Times Square (80% are tourists anyway), and the other things that go on locally are generally overpriced prix-fixe meals. We were pleasantly surprised to learn that we didn't have to venture outside to see the fireworks at Grand Army Plaza - we have a great view from our living room window.

Christmas Tree

2006-12-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

Christmas Tree Detail
We got our Christmas tree today, the first one since we moved. More photos are on my flickr page.

Cheese is Made from Milk

2006-12-05T09:59:00.000-05:00

One of the best things about living in New York is that everyone comes here. IFC Center (formerly the legendary Waverly Theater) is the site of the world premiere theatrical release of David Lynch's new movie Inland Empire (it has only shown in festivals before this). It premieres tomorrow (December 6th), and in preparation for the premiere, IFC Center has had other Lynch related events this week, including last night when he hosted Movie Night, a series where the theater has a guest talk and screen one of their favorite movies. Last night was Hitchcock's Vertigo.

As soon as I got the email announcement I jumped on getting the advance tickets, since I am still kicking myself for missing another favorite director, Jim Jarmusch, at the Cleveland Cinematheque a few years ago. Seeing the line of people waiting in the cold for standby door tickets over an hour before curtain, I'm really glad I did. We luckily got to bypass the line, get our tickets, and get into the warm theater almost immediately. We also got a prime seat selection and were in the 4th row (although theater 1 is really small, so we couldn't have sat too far away if we wanted to.)

I have a confession to make. I try not to get wrapped up in celebrity and everything, but the prospect of seeing the man whose films inspired and influenced practically everything I produced in art school (not least my thesis, in which my friend Michelle played two opposite characters, à la Patricia Arquette's roles in Lost Highway) was both daunting and exciting. (As I said to Patrick, second only to meeting Robert Smith.)

Since we went there straight from work, I had Patrick bring some food so I wouldn't be faced with overpriced popcorn for dinner. I worried they'd want to search my obviously stuffed bag, but it seemed like anything goes at IFC. This was proven when Lynch entered the theater and out popped a dozen cameras flashing away, as well as a video camera. (I guess there's not really a bootleg market for 50 year old public domain movies, but still...)

We were first treated to the 55 second short from the Lumiere & Company project (modern filmmakers making shorts using the original Lumiere camera). Then the director returned to the stage for Q&A. Of course, there is rarely any great revelation in these Q&A sessions, but this one was really entertaining. The highlights included someone asking for the weather report, learning about the David Lynch signature coffee line (there were free sample cups at the theater, and Lynch admitted to drinking 20 cups a day), and best of all, someone referenced a YouTube video of the director shooting a promo with a cow on a street corner in LA and proclaiming "Cheese is made from milk, and milk comes from cows."

Between seeing my favorite director and one of Hitchcock's classic films (which I realized I had only previously seen the second half of, although I had seen that portion at least 3 times), it was a great evening and well worth being out late on a weekday. And though I don't plan to see it 4 times in the theater like one fan in the audience, I am looking forward to seeing Inland Empire, hopefully this weekend.

Thanksgiving Photos

2006-11-27T22:06:00.000-05:00

Patrick and his Turkey
Patrick wrote about our trip back to Ohio today. I don't have much to add - I missed the same New York things and I also enjoyed seeing everyone we were able to see. (And I'll see Kerry again this weekend!) I took a few pictures while we were there. Click the photo above to go to my Flickr page.

Two Month Hiatus

2006-10-23T22:45:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know it has been nearly 2 months since my last ~~confession~~ post. Sorry, I was busy doing things like publishing a site for (insert well-known publication name here) at work, entertaining a few rounds of company, getting adjusted to Patrick's new job and then his other new job, and going on a trip to Ithaca and the finger lakes, among other things.

Guess I'll just have to get used to posting at home since I never have time to do it at work anymore. (After coming through the other side of the tech crash, I'd say that's a good thing.)

We biked to Coney Island and back yesterday. I have to say this because, though we used to bike about twice the distance (about 14 miles round trip), this was the first long bike ride I'd done in about a year and a half, and it was hard. The last thing I had to do was bike up a killer hill in Prospect Park.

Despite my routine of cardio kickboxing twice a week and spinning once a week, my legs were so sore that I couldn't get my leg up to dismount the bike on the first try. I actually ended up losing my balance and have a nasty bruise on where my ankle hit the pedal. It's funny now, even if it hurt at the time.

That's it for now. Hopefully I'll be back again in less than 2 months.

One Year

2006-08-31T12:24:00.000-04:00

As of last night, Patrick and I have been New Yorkers for a year. We toyed with ideas of how to commemorate our moving day, such as renting a Uhaul, loading up the cats, and driving around Manhattan until Oliver pees on himself. But in the end we didn't really do anything special, since I was too tired by the time I got home to even have drinks. We'll have to do a toast tomorrow, since we'll be going out to dinner and will have company and may also be celebrating another small thing.

This is the point where I'm supposed to reflect on the year. I have worked at 4 different jobs (in addition to the countless interviews in the first couple of months), reconnected with some old friends, and made a few new ones. Patrick has worked at 3 jobs (including his externship), graduated from the Institute of Culinary Education (with honors!), and become a cheese expert.

On the non-quantifiable level, I really feel like this is my home now. The odd thing I noticed, since this is the second place I have moved since leaving my home town, is that Durham still feels like going home, but Cleveland doesn't. Instead, when we went back to visit, it was familiar and we saw our friends and family and went to the places we loved, but it wasn't the same.

After adjusting to the commute time, I've decided I really love living in Brooklyn, and find myself more relaxed on the weekends that I don't have to go into Manhattan. That said, sometimes walking down the street near work (midtown) I am struck with this sudden sense of awe that I live in New York, a city of legends and debatably the greatest city n the country (or the world).

Garden Harvest

2006-08-13T16:19:00.000-04:00

Garden Harvest
This is what I brought in from my garden today.

No longer a redhead

2006-08-13T16:16:00.000-04:00

Self Portrait
Last Saturday I went in for a routine color and cut, but James had more ambitious ideas. He said I needed a more autumnal tone and a dark color framing my face that would accent my complexion. This is the result.

Weather Report

2006-08-01T15:31:00.000-04:00

2006-06-28T20:49:00.000-04:00

It's not that I have nothing to say, just that I haven't had the time or energy to really write anything of substance. I would post pictures from a couple of weeks ago, but it doesn't look like Kerry posted them. Last weekend we went to rural New Jersey and picked strawberries in between the rain and, among other things, I made vanilla-lemon strawberry jam. Work's been crazy busy. Mom will be in town tomorrow and here Friday. And that's about all I got right now.

Patrick gets outed

2006-06-14T12:35:00.000-04:00

No - not outed that way. He has been writing incognito on Apartment Therapy's Kitchen as The Cheesemonger for a while, and, as of this week, he is now an official columnist.

Now I feel like a hypochondriac

2006-06-06T21:39:00.000-04:00

This morning I was just getting ready for work as usual and ate the same breakfast I've been eating (with a few variations, I'm not that regimented) for years and took the vitamins I always take and the antihistamine/decongestant I've been taking for a month or so and some ibuprofen. Sounds all perfectly normal, right? Well, not long after, my neck started getting really hot like I was blushing or sunburned but I wasn't. Then my face got all hot and my forearms and hands and everything started swelling a lot (I could barely bend my arms at the elbow) and turned bright red. All in less than 5 minutes.

I was totally freaked out and thought the next thing to happen would be my throat closing up so I had Patrick call for an ambulance. After that I got up to go to the bathroom and found that standing made me almost blackout. Then I changed clothes and noticed red blotches all over me. After sitting for a bit, I felt less dizzy and wanted to just walk to the doctor (I'm 3 blocks from a hospital) but it was too late. The paramedics arrived and were very nice and didn't make me feel stupid for calling them for what they diagnosed on site as hives.

Yes, that's right, I called 911 because I had hives. I only had ever had them as small, localized bumps from ant bites. This was a lot of swelling, redness and burning all over. And to be fairl, WebMD says to "see your healthcare provider immediately" if they are all over and accompanied by dizziness. But still, hives. I could have taken a Benadryl, slept a little, and still gone into work.

But, instead I got to ride 3 blocks in the back of an ambulance to the hospital (thankfully they didn't use the siren) where I sat for 2 hours and, after having my chart written, was observed periodically as my symptoms went away. So, not only did I go to the emergency room for hives, but they went away with no treatment. So now I get to pay large amounts of money (the hospital is in my insurance network, but I am sure I will be charged lots just for the ambulance...) for having people tell me they don't know why I had an allergic reaction (other than that it was something I ingested, probably medicine) and then sending me home after it went away.

Unrelated, but since I am a chronic hospital drama viewer who had never been in a real emergency room, I have to report it is way calmer (no trauma scenes or yelling) and the doctors don't look like George Clooney or Patrick Dempsey.

Memorial Day Weekend Trip

2006-05-29T19:56:00.000-04:00

Lyndhurst mansion
We went to a B&B in Rhinebeck, in the Hudson Valley this weekend. More info to follow, but here are some photos.

Wave Hill Photos

2006-05-29T19:27:00.000-04:00

Anniversary Trip to Wave Hill
Finally, here are pictures from Wave Hill.

Six Years

2006-05-23T12:46:00.000-04:00

This Saturday was our sixth anniversary. To celebrate, we started the day with treats from our favorite bakery and then went to the Grand Army plaza greenmarket, where we discovered lots of spring produce that wasn't in the week before, including the season's first strawberries!

After the greenmarket, we headed into Grand Central where we caught the Metro North train to Wave Hill, a beautiful 19th century estate and gardens on the Hudson river in the northern end of the Bronx. We ate lunch on the terrace and walked around the idyllic paradise taking in the beautiful day that had emerged after a day and night of storms. (Pictures to come later)

The final element to a wonderful day was dinner at Tabla. The service is amazing there. After being seated in a window seat on the second floor, overlooking Madison Square Park, we were brought a Prosecco toast (they had asked if it was a special occasion when I booked), which I think is so much better than champagne. Usually the little items brought out to the table aren't worth mentioning, but they were so good I have to tell: papadums with a sweet tomato chutney that I wished I could have bought a jar of, rosemary naan with a creamy green sauce (tasted like sweet cream and fresh peas), and an amuse bouche mini-cup of mushroom soup. We opted for the 3 course prix fixe menu. I had Fricasée of Artichokes & Fava Beans with Upma Polenta, Coconut Milk and Ramps, Shiitake & Eggplant-Stuffed Braised Vidalia Onion with Pickled Onions, Jicama, Cumin-Black Pepper Curry, and Tahitian Vanilla Bean Kulfi with Blood Oranges, Rosemary-Rosewater Syrup & Pistachio Tuile. Patrick had Warm Salad of Flash-Seared Calamari with Sugar Snap Peas, Pickled Mango, Green Papaya & Coconut, Vermont Spring Baby Lamb with Baby Vegetables, Caramelized Onion-Coconut Jus, and Apple & Golden Raisin Strudel with Walnut Cream, Ginger Toffee Sauce, Cinnamon Clove Ice Cream. Everything was so amazing and the atmosphere was so great, it's definitely a place I'd love to eat at again. Maybe next I'll try their less decadent Bread Bar.

Initiations

2006-05-03T12:59:00.000-04:00

I just bought lunch from a cart on the street - I feel like a real New Yorker now. I walked out my door, intending to go to one of the many sandwich shops to get something to go with the salad I packed, but then I saw Moshe's Felafel. A small cart crammed with 5 guys (including an old Hasidic man I assume must be Moshe) serving 2 customers at a time with amazing efficiency. I got a large felafel pita for $3.75, and while it wasn't the best felafel I've ever had (that would be the stand at the West Side Market in Cleveland) it was really good, though very messy.

In other New York story news, we had our first celebrity sighting in Central Park this weekend. Well - Patrick did at least. My first thought at seeing guys in expensive suits with bodyguards was "oh shit - it's the mafia - just keep walking", but Patrick actually looked at the park bench and informed me "It's the Governator!"

Beautiful Weekend

2006-04-17T10:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I had all these insightful posts to write last week but I didn't. So - I'll just tell you that I had a wonderful weekend.

Saturday, Kerry came over and we had a great time in the sunshine and warm enough to not wear a jacket weather. We got breakfast at Two LIttle Red Hens, walked to the Grand Army greenmarket, ate lunch at my favorite Thai place (Galanga), watched dogs at play, sunbathers, and a tyco drum group in Washington Square Park, visited my community garden, and went to a bookstore and got coffee in Cobble Hill. I also managed to cook a good dinner (a rarity for me) of brown rice with onions, peppers, and veggie kielbasa, zucchini with garlic and lime, and a salad with homemade dressing in which I successfully made an emulsion for the first time.

Sunday morning Patrick and I cooked breakfast before Kerry headed back to her parents' for Easter dinner. Patrick made us a picnic lunch and we took it over to Prospect Park to eat it. The park was very crowded, lots of people having cookouts, but we found a quiet spot. We walked a little around the park and then went home. After a little bit we called and found out the Chocolate Room was open, so we walked over there where I got to have the long awaited "best chocolate cake in the city" which was very very good. One thing I love there is that the chocolate is very good and satisfying, but they also are very good at figuring out how much of a serving to give people so you don't feel sick after eating. Then a quiet evening at home with a light dinner (since we had chocolate for dinner) and watching stuff on the Tivo.

The past comes calling

2006-04-05T22:17:00.000-04:00

About a week or so ago I got an email from the contact form on this website. It was from a guy named Jeremy and I don't know if he googled me or what but I guess somewhere around 1996 I submitted a poem to his zine. He used it in an issue, and the email was an offer to send me a copy (which I received today). The zine is Karass, and it's got a lot of good stuff, so you should check it out. And the return address is Brooklyn, so I guess we're neighbors.

While I have no memory of the submission, I know the date because the last time I wrote poetry was for a collection of poems and photos that was my senior thesis at North Carolina School of the Arts. Not college thesis, senior as in second year of their program, as in I was 19 years old.

Needless to say I was kind of dreading reading the poem when I opened my mail today. It had been literally years since I'd laid eyes on it, and while at the time I thought I was a pretty good poet, we all know that adolescents write some pretty awful stuff. What I found pleasantly surprised me. Sure, the second verse (? stanza? what do you call the sections of free verse poetry?) is really clumsy (an innocent wandering among the flowers? what - is that some Cure lyric reference??). But, overall it has held up, which is more than I can say for the subject matter. I can't even remember what guy had wronged me to inspire it.

Since it is National Poetry Month, and everyone else is doing it, I am going to suck it up and post it here for you. Please be kind - I do not profess do be anything more than an amateur with a poet for a father. And again, I was 19 when I wrote this, and very melodramatic.

The Foundations of Commitment

Dreams and angels
fly far freer
than I ever will
(or want to).

An innocent,
wandering alone
among the flowers,
can stare skyward
between the branches
and feel as full
as a wayward dream.

But I am not her.
(Am I not whole?)

We are joined
in a three-legged race
for life;
Too scared
of our own souls
to ever let go.

Perfect Spring Day

2006-04-04T10:27:00.000-04:00

Sunday was beautiful - 60s, sunny, people out and about in the neighborhood. Sunday is also the only day both Patrick and I are off work. So - we got up early, ate breakfast, and then got our bikes out. It was the first time I was on a bike since August, and my first time out in the city. We biked over to Prospect Park and looped the park twice (inadvertently - missed the turn the first time) before heading over to the Botanical Garden, where bulbs and trees were in bloom (mostly types of magnolias I'd never seen in the south and a couple of early blooming cherries). I also learned that the very pedestrian forsythia is actually an ornamental relative of the olive tree. Pictures will be coming soon.

After the garden, I braved street biking (Park Slope has lots of bike lanes and not much traffic, I still won't go in Manhattan or on Flatbush, Atlantic or Eastern Parkway) and we biked over to the north side of our neighborhood and got lunch and a few really good chocolates before heading back home. I also trimmed back my perennial herbs and put them out in hopes they will come back to life in the next few weeks.

Gardening in the City

2006-03-31T10:28:00.000-05:00

So, while I get ready to prune my perennial herbs and put them back on our fire escape to see if they come back, and contemplate how to secure a set of windowboxes on my stone sills so they don't fall and kill someone, I am also pursuing a more fulfilling means of satisfying my gardening urges this year (and one that is not technically against my lease, like those above). I am joining a community garden.

To those not in the New York area who are unfamiliar with community gardens, here's how they work in this city. Most were originally founded by residents who cleaned up vacant lots in the 70s and 80s (when the city was bankrupt and crime-ridden) in an effort to bring something positive to their neighborhoods. After a bunch got torn down in favor of development within the last decade due to real estate booming here, now many if not all of the ones that are left are part of land trusts and, in theory, protected non-profit entities (because amazingly enough the city actually recognizes that gardens are of worth to the community).

The one I am joining was founded in the late 80s and still has an active membership of I think something like 50 or 60 members. The first step in becoming a member is attending a monthly garden meeting, which I did this Wednesday. I got to find out all about the bureaucracy involved in this city and also about how the garden is run (with officers and committee leaders) and the various projects that are done throughout the year to maintain a sustainable asset and have fun doing it. And, as an added bonus, there was homemade "compost cake" (complete with cookie crumb dirt and gummy worms) for a committee leader's birthday.

My next step is to go to a work day and orientation. After that, I pay my dues, get a key, and begin my work as a member. I'll help with events, community projects, work days, and maybe even get my own individual plot (there's a wait list, but it's short). I'm really excited not only to get to garden when I don't have a yard, but also to get to know people in my neighborhood (some of the people have been working in the garden since it was founded) and begin to feel like I am really a part of the community instead of just a resident.

Second Day of Spring

2006-03-21T09:23:00.000-05:00

The first week of spring here in NY it won't get above the mid 40s. It is sunny, which is a marked improvement over Cleveland. Still, I have to say that March is when I miss NC the most.

Mortality

2006-03-16T14:14:00.000-05:00

My aunt died last night. It was not sudden or unexpected (she had cancer), and we were not close (I think it was 10-15 years since we last saw each other). She was my father's oldest sister, and the first blood relative in my parents' generation who has died. Which is, I think, the reason that this has affected me more than I expected.

I had thought about my parents aging before, and thought of the fact that my grandmother was not much older than my mom is now when she died. But somehow having my father's sister die really brings home the prospect of mortality and that, unless some unforeseen illness or accident befalls me, I will one day be the last surviving member of my immediate family. Which is a really scary thought. No one wants to be alone, and though I have a husband and one day plan to have children, I don't like to think about being without my parents and my brother.

I really don't have any deeper insights into this other than death is scary. I do see a peace in it despite being an atheist, and I know it is inevitable. But none of that stops the pain of thinking about losing the people who matter in your life.

Twenty-Nine

2006-03-06T13:21:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to Michaelangelo, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Rob Reiner, Ed McMahon, Alan Greenspan, Shaq... and me.

It's a low-key penultimate Monday birthday this year. I had been planning to go to the Whitney Biennial yesterday and then dinner at Candle 79 and homemade cupcakes today. But - yesterday I slept in and didn't feel like doing any of this so we ordered Chinese delivery and then went into Manhattan to go to City Bakery and try their famous chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate (as well as getting to witness their amazing back-of-house like efficiency with the huge lines around the counter) and then walked 18 blocks to Best Buy to get a new TV.(Audrey broke ours a few weeks ago. It no longer had a power button. We've been having to turn on the light switch (controls the outlet) then press the volume button up and back down and then the channel button up and down to get it to work.) Then we watched the Oscars and went to bed.

Today I'm at work, then home where Patrick will be cooking me a squash risotto with bulgur instead of arborio and then we are opting out of homemade sweets (there's always too many left over and I'm trying to eat less sweets and junk food) and going back to the Chocolate Room to try the cake I didn't get last time. And I have learned my lesson and will stay away from the cloyingly sweet dessert wine. And sometime in there I will open the overgenerous mound of presents from mom and Patrick.