Here Goes Everything - Life As A Stay At Home Dad

I Survived

2008-08-17T17:19:00.000-07:00

For reasons all too obvious (I’m a man) but all too pathetic (I’m a man), I dread weekends without Doc. They rarely happen, but every so often work or family calls and Doc must go. This weekend, she headed up to her sister’s bridal shower (the young, hot one is off the market -- sorry, friends), leaving Xav, Mar and I alone. So very, very alone.

Oh, what a crock. We were fine. Yeah, I missed not playing a round of golf Saturday morning but we had a great day nonetheless. We headed down to my brother’s new house in Charlotte and enjoyed a nice dinner and good company. Once home, we stayed up late enough to watch Michael Phelps win gold #8 and Usain Bolt just . . . folks, there are no words to describe what he did in the 100M last night (although I thought Ato Boldin’s “video game” quote was priceless). Both Mar and Xav slept in today . . . really slept in (I’m talking 8:30am -- that’s big time!). Late breakfast, outside play, Xav had lunch at a friends while Mar and I ate some leftovers. By early afternoon, Doc was home. Like I said, we were fine.

It’s hard when Doc leaves before 7am on Friday and returns on Sunday afternoon, but it used to be much harder. Xav is pretty much self-sufficient now and even Mar handles herself just fine (she feeds herself, plays with Xav without me, climbs into chairs without me, etc.). In the end, having them to myself only deprives me of being able to do something without them (golf, mow the lawn, go for a run, whatever). I may not like it, but I can handle it.

What I do like is how we looked last night, all snuggled into one bed together while watching the Olympics (“look dada, they’re running!” Mar said over and over again while we watched the women’s marathon in hopes of seeing Blake Russell). We shared some pretzels. We tickled each other and laughed hysterically. I didn’t just like it. I loved it.

I also loved it when Doc got home today. After some catching up and reclaiming Xav from his friend’s house, I headed to the range for a couple of hours. Hey, I’m still a man. I’ve got to have some time to myself!

Here’s some Cake for you all.

Buck Up, Little Camper

2008-08-15T09:55:00.001-07:00

Last night, I got together with some of my friends (all fathers) at a local watering hole. One of them has worked in education most of his life and is currently the head honcho at a local school. He asked about Xav heading to kindergarten and the anxiety I have expressed in previous posts. The message he gave me was, basically, “I don’t know what your problem is.”

This reads more harshly than it was expressed -- his tone was that of concern, not ridicule. He is such a fan of everything that kindergarten is about and believes that Xav will devour it all so happily. Further, he knows me -- he knows that my happiness hinges so heavily on that of my children. Thus, he wonders why I am so anxious about something that Xav is going to so greatly enjoy.

I expressed some concerns about his age and my fear that his shyness may prevent him from making friends with older children. He replied that his youngest has great friends that are both the oldest and youngest/smallest in his class. His argument -- in these early years, age doesn’t really matter when it comes to establishing social relationships with each other. If they are in class with each other, they will be spending a lot of time together. Relationships will develop, the respective ages of the children not withstanding. That made me feel better.

As I sit here now watching him eat his lunch, I wonder if what I’ll miss the most is having him around all the time. That’s selfish, I know. I also know that we’ll have four hours together before mom gets home and that we’ll have so much more to talk about. He cannot wait until next Monday. He’s ready.

Thanks to a quick talk with a friend, I think I’m ready too.

Mall Rats

2008-08-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

Dropped some coin in Gymboree today. Purchased a big bag full of clothes for $80. The salesperson even came out from behind the counter and pulled some items off of the shelves for me to look at. She took it one step further when she yanked seven pairs of underwear out for Xav to choose from (I let him pick five). I felt like such a big dog, shopping for haute couture while being waited on hand and foot. Seriously, Vicki at Gymboree treated me right. The kids were good and even though I think Xav loathes the $48 jean jacket I got for $20, he’ll rock it proudly once the weather cools down.

Actually, this was the first time in my 10 months as a stay-at-home parent that I chose the mall as our destination. Xav didn’t really need any more back-to-school clothes and Mar still has plenty of hand-me-downs from her cousin to last her for a couple more months. However, it is a rainy day here in paradise and I sure as heck wasn’t going to stay inside all day. Like most, I really don’t like the mall, though I will say that I found it a relatively calm place at 11am on a Wednesday morning. The bathroom (Xav must inspect each and every public bathroom upon arrival at a restaurant, store, library, etc.), Gymboree, Chick-fil-A at the food court, a ride on the carousel -- hardly a bad outing.

Oh, and Xav picked out this super soft cheetah tee that is TO DIE FOR.

My Adidas

2008-08-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

Xav picked up his first pair of lace up shoes today -- a pair of Adidas sneakers. He’s quite taken by them. “Why’d you pick them,” I asked. “Because they are red and black and white and silver. And platinum!”

Platinum. Not quite triple platinum like “Raising Hell” but platinum nonetheless.

Special thank you to the kind folks at Omega Sports here in W-S.

$4.00 Lunch

2008-08-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

Costco lunch:
2 x $1.50 hotdog + soda meal
1 $1.00 churro

Dad gets one dog, Xav takes 2/3rds of the other. Mar gets the scraps. We split the churro. Diet coke with a few ounces of pink lemonade for me, water for the kids (not b/c I won't give them lemonade, mind you -- Xav can't take the sour stuff).

Minimal nutritional value and too many calories for dad aside, that's a bargain. Oh, and the dog is kosher.

Costco

Pilot Driving Soccer Dad

2008-08-12T16:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Mar and I were doing what we often do before I strap her into her car seat -- staring at each other in the window reflection, we made goofy faces at each other. Though I’m not sure I looked any different on this day than I had on any other before heading to the Y, I caught a glimpse of myself and right there realized what I had become.

Running shorts. Grey t-shirt. Hair slightly disheveled. Nothing overly messy yet nothing exceptionally neat. My bag slung over one shoulder. A diaper bag over the other. Two bags of fruit chews in one hand. Mar in the other. Car keys dangling from my teeth.

I’m a soccer mom. Er, dad.

I told Doc about this revelation -- she laughed and said, “You’re organized -- you had it all together.” But did I have to look like I did just because I had it all together? I guess I could throw out the running shorts look and go with some basketball shorts and a cutoff t-shirt, but if you saw my spindly arms you’d quickly comment that I’m shouldn’t be wearing a cutoff t-shirt. I want to look cool, dangerous, even a little sketchy. Instead, I look like a "Desperate Househusband."

Oh well, I'll deal. Just don't look for any magnets on the back of my car. I'm not going there.

If I were only as pretty as all those moms I see at the Y. Perhaps I should add some makeup to my ensemble.

Start Of The Back To School Routine

2008-08-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

Xav is already in bed and asleep and he has been so for over an hour. We've been a little liberal with his bedtime this summer and more often than not we'd be reading him stories right about now. Tonight, two weeks out from his first true "school night," Doc and I decided that we'd begin the process of getting him adjusted to a school year schedule.

He took it all in stride. He is so excited about kindergarten that anything we tell him about how some things will need to change sounds good to him. Doc and I like routine but not to the extent that we're overly rigid about it all. Nevertheless, a two week period of earlier suppers and coming inside before and not after dark seems reasonable. Of course, Friday and Saturday will always remain "Hang Out Night" -- no bed time (within reason), long playtimes in the basement, lots of fun together.

School nights. 180 nights per year. 13 years for Xav. Add 4 additional years for Mar (she'll start school when Xav's in 4th grade). That's 3,060 school nights Doc and I are facing for the next seventeen years. I remember my school nights well. Games of "Monster" in elementary school. A kick ass "English - Social Studies" class with sixty kids in eighth grade where I learned SO much about so many things. Late night talks on the phone. Cramming for tests. Frantic final trips to the library to finish up a research paper. XC meets in far away places. Girlfriends. Skipping class.

WTF am I talking about??? My kid is FOUR. He's going to kindergarten. What, we're talking about the alphabet, some basic writing and math skills and some arts and crafts, right? Kindergartners don't have school nights. Kindergarten isn't even really school. It's like going to the county fair every day, is it not?

Well, wait. I've heard things. Crazy things. I've heard about multiple pages long readers that take kids an hour to read. I've heard about worksheets that require a good bit of time as well. Homework? Apparently he'll have some . . . in kindergarten.

I need a sedative. I'm far too freaked out about all of this.

Explaining The Olympics To A Four Year Old

2008-08-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

I appreciate the feedback that many have given about Xav’s lack of interest in team sports. I tend to follow Esbee’s thinking and am generally ok with not having to spend my Saturday mornings on the sideline (though when the day comes I will do so happily). The tip about having him try an individual sport is a good one -- he likes swimming and we’ll definitely sign him up for another month or two of lessons this fall at the Y.

With the Olympics here, sport is again a part of the daily discussion. Have you tried explaining what the Olympics are to your child? It’s not easy. There is the whole “nation vs. nation” thing. Then there is the number of sports. Within each sport, there are multiple competitions. And then, when you are watching the Olympics you find yourself watching much more than just the Games -- there are the human interest pieces, the political pieces, the social commentary. It’s a lot to take in.

So I’m sitting here with Xav and were waiting on Michael Phelps and his first gold medal attempt. Turns out he doesn’t hit the pool until 10pm EDT, so he asked if I’d record it for him. So first up for us is some boxing.

“That’s not the Olympics,” he says.

“Actually, Xav, boxing is an Olympic sport,” I answer. II then explain to Xav what boxing is -- he‘s never watched it before. That takes a while (“What are those things on their hands? Who is the guy in the white shirt? How do you win?”).

We flip channels to gymnastics. He asks, “That’s the Olympics, right?” I say yes and talk to him about the different events (we watch the rings and the high bar). Then there’s beach volleyball. Why do they wear such skimpy suits and how much did President Bush seem to enjoy hugging on Misty May in her suit (that‘s me asking -- I think Xav thinks this is going to be swimming soon because of those same skimpy suits)? Oh yeah, Xav -- this is still the Olympics.

And so it will go for the next two weeks. Some of my fondest tv memories are of watching the Olympics as a child. The Olympics give us an opportunity to talk about geography, cultures, history, hard work, perseverance and sportsmanship. Invariably, many amazing stories will unfold. I look forward to watching them with Xav (and I’m sure Mar will happily cheer whenever she hears the crowd go wild).

I’m just wondering how I’m going to shield his eyes from all of these crazy commercials. Xav doesn’t need to see Christian Slater fighting a dude every ten minutes.

Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

What Is Twitter?

2008-08-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not asking to be funny or sarcastic or to make fun of those who "Twitter" their days away. I really do not know what it is. Greg over at Hopeless Cases got me thinking that I need to understand what Twitter is before I judge whether it could be good or bad for me.

For those who say, "Look it up!" -- I've visited twitter.com and I still don't get it. I'm slow. Help a noob out and clue me in -- what is Twitter and should I Twitter or should I go?

Step Into Liquid

2008-08-08T05:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, not exactly. When the surf never rises more than 2-3 feet, you're hardly riding giants. Although never a surfer myself, I have a great appreciation for the sport and the daredevils who happily swim into 20-30+ foot swells. Xav and I enjoy paddling into much smaller stuff -- you take what you can get.

Laird Hamilton, I am not. And since Xav is growing up roughly 200 miles inland, such a future for him is not likely either. Xav has a real love for the ocean and so do I -- I look forward to returning for many years to come. Today is our last day at the beach in 2008, a sad day for sure. I am thankful for the times that Mar, Doc, Xav and I have shared with our families these last few weeks at both Kiawah and here on Ocean Isle -- we are blessed to have such opportunities. But it is back to W-S tomorrow . . . the first day of school, of pre-school and of Wake Forest football await!

Oh, don't know who Laird Hamilton is? Watch this:

Xav Says "No" To Soccer Again

2008-08-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

Actually, not just soccer. Tee ball also. Fall sports signups are here, both for the Y, Optimist and Twin City as well as for Y tee ball. Online, signup events, via phone -- all we have to do is call and just like that, Xav would be on the second recreational sports squad of his short, four year life.

Xav said, “Not this fall.” He said no in the spring as well.

I’m not completely sure what it is about sports that doesn’t appeal to Xav right now. I watch a good deal of all kinds of sports myself. We shoot baskets happily in the driveway. I go out for runs and will beat the little white ball around every so often -- he’s been exposed, of that there is no doubt. He played Y soccer one season and, while he enjoyed it, he wasn’t the most aggressive kid on the field. Further, because he wasn’t the fastest or the strongest, he wasn’t the most successful either (he may have touched the ball 10 times all season).

Here’s the thing -- I don’t care. I really don’t. Oh, I know that Doc and I will have to “force” him onto a team one day -- every kid needs some exposure to team sports, right? What about team chess? Team orchestra? Team chorus? And I also recognize that he very well may say the next time signups come up that he’d like to play every sport, including curling (we’d have to find some ice in W-S, but I’m sure there’s a team somewhere).

But for now, he’s content not donning a uniform and I’ve never spent one second worrying about whether my son would earn a college soccer scholarship. Remember, I worked in college admissions. I know better -- trust me, admissions committees do not care if your kid has ever been on any team and unless he’s on some Olympic national team or is 1st Team All State (not league, city or county), the scholarship money is not going to roll in.

Hey Xav, ever hear of the euphonium? Colleges like euphonium players (again, trust me).

These Are My Friends

2008-08-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

So non stay-at-home dad related.

So non me and my family related.

So very, very cool.

The Best In The Book

Is Scooby Doo Bad For You?

2008-08-03T04:24:00.001-07:00

After going down a little after 11pm last night, Xav was up and ready to go around 7am this morning. Since he and I are roomies again this week (mom and Mar are in the king size next door), that means I'm up as well. No biggie -- gotta burn off the light fog that comes with a few too many the night before.

As I type and consume copious amounts of coffee, Xav sits behind me tinkering with Legos and watching Scooby Doo. He loves this show and I must admit that I find it rather funny in a campy, hokey kind of way. It is a bit violent and you could argue that it is scary as well, though I wouldn't agree (if anything, this show helps kids learn that there are no such things as ghosts/monsters/mummies/etc.).

When I was growing up, I watched a lot of cartoons, as did my wife. Saturday mornings were everything and I took full advantage of the after school lineup of cartoons up until dinnertime. I feel like I turned out alright - I don't care what Doc says! Same goes for my wife, brothers, most of my friends . . . I mean, am I missing something? When did a few cartoons in the morning become as hazardous as smoking?

Well, at sometime they did and I approach the issue accordingly. I'll let Xav watch a couple in a row before shutting him down (40-45 minutes worth). He never complains, which is nice, and frankly would rather be playing with his sister, mom or myself anyway. But I've had conversations with folk who argue that Xav would be better off watching no TV at all.

Assuming this is true, how much harm are Doc and I truly doing? How much better of a person would I be had I not watched Tom and Jerry reruns growing up? My opinion? If cartoons teach us anything they give us a sense of humor. Scooby Doo is FUNNY. A little comedic theater, even the drawn kind, doesn't hurt anyone.

Besides, Daphne is . . . . . . . . . . . . (mind wandering through the depths of juvenile humor).

Recycling and Beach Trips

2008-08-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

I found a use for Mar-Mar's old bottles:

What, you don't take canola and olive oil to the beach? What tanning oils do you use?

This trip is to Ocean Isle here in NC with my brothers and their families. No work sessions for Doc. No one picking up part of the tab, either. Just seven more days at the beach. I grew up all around water and spent some thirteen years waking up to the smell of salt water. I need two trips to the beach every summer. Ok, I don't need them, nor do I always get them, but I sure as heck enjoy it.

I've begun packing up all the things on our list and the kids are cooperating by playing by themselves upstairs. In 30 hours I'll be on yet another screened porch, drinking yet another beer, wishing I could live by the ocean yet again. Living the dream . . .

The Things You Learn Reading Other People's Blogs

2008-07-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

Thank you Esbee/Life In Forsyth for mentioning Mallard Lake at Tanglewood as a shady destination on a hot afternoon. It's just sweltering around here these days and yet I had to get the kids out for a couple of hours before dinner. We've always headed right past the train to the "woodchip park" (Main shelter? Off 18 on the championship course playground? It doesn't have a name!) because of the toddler playset they have over there and because, dumbass dad that I am, I had no idea there was another playground by the driving range. We enjoyed a couple of hours of climbing, Easter egg hunting (what, your kids don't like to hunt for Easter eggs year round?) and swinging in the shade.

Backpack and Lunchbox

2008-07-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

They arrived today. We purchased them online and they'll last him a long time. And the backpack is orange. He loves orange.

As the first day of school approaches, I become more and more nervous and sad. I have to start with the positives -- he's "got a good head on his shoulders and is a nice boy" says Doc. He does and is. He wants to go. He's ready. His preK teachers told us that he was ready months ago. One of my greatest friends in the world is the principal of a freakin' elementary school and he says Xav is ready. I know he's ready. Have I mentioned that he's ready?

And yet I'm worried. He's young. I'm not going to say that we are bucking a trend or anything because I'm not sure that it is a trend, but I do know that there will a good number of six year olds in Xav's class. Xav will be four for the first five days of school. Could we hold him back a year? Of course! I'd love to have him home. But would that be fair to him? He WANTS to go to school. The kids he went to preschool with are heading to kindergarten. Heck, we even know a handful of younger kids that are going. But they are girls and he's a boy and parents hold boys back, so they say. Who says? I don't know . . . damn parental peer pressure!

Did I mention that his backpack is orange? His lunchbox . . . red. His other favorite color is purple -- the color of his Crocs. Can you wear Crocs in elementary school? No worry if you can't -- Xav has no problem following the rules. He can stand in line, eat meals in a cafeteria, wash his hands, wipe himself -- he's bright and he's equipped with the necessary day-to-day know how to get along on his own. But he's also four.

Why am I so worried about whether or not he is ready? Frankly, I do not even remember kindergarten. It's true, I don't. I'm not even sure I went to kindergarten. I know I went to first grade and I remember my second grade teacher distinctly. Doc remembers her kindergarten teacher's name. Even if I did remember, was kindergarten in '78 anything like kindergarten in '08?

I'm putting on a brave face in front of Xav -- I tell him he'll love it, that he'll learn so much and meet so many great friends. He believes me and yet doesn't even need to hear me say it -- he wants it so bad. I swear, I don't detect a hint of nervousness. Not one bit.

I apologize for this ramble and the ones that are sure to follow as 8/25 approaches. Every parent who reads this blog loves their child(ren) intensely. The heaviness I feel in my chest as the day approaches is almost suffocating and yet the pleasure I sense in his mood is uplifting. Nervous and happy, nervous and happy, nervous and happy . . .

And sad.

This is as awkward as I've felt as a parent since the day he was born. Is that odd?

Mar Always Gets Her Way!

2008-07-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

Xav has become increasingly frustrated with Mar as she gets bigger and more strong-willed by the day. She’s still only one and thus far too young to reason with with any consistent success. Xav tries -- I hear him often trying to tell her that the toy she is grabbing is his or that the tower she just knocked down was a building he was trying to make even bigger. Just now, Xav was actually trying to do some cleaning up but, much to his chagrin, Mar had chosen his block box as a comfortable spot for a break -- she declared with a shrill warning that she wasn’t going to get out for any housecleaning. As was the case this time, it sometimes escalates -- he rips something out of her hand or pushes/drags her out of the way and she cries, all the while grabbing for whatever it is she wants again.

Doc and I explain to Xav that his sister is only one and that he’ll need to give in because she is only now learning to know better but isn‘t quite good at “knowing better” yet. Sometimes he’s ok with it, other times he pouts and complains. I get it -- it’s hard to so rarely get your way in such situations. We compliment him AD NAUSEUM about being a terrific big brother and for being so good and kind to his sister. Now that she’s talking more, we even remind Mar to say “thank you” to Xav and she frequently obliges (and this does make him feel good). This isn’t to say Xav won’t play with her -- he does, more than I could have ever imagined he would. But Xav is a quiet sort who enjoys his alone time, a party Mar crashes far too often.

So this is how it is going to be for the next 14 years or so, I take it? Mar always getting into Xav’s stuff and Doc and I having to settle the feud? I know it will be easier to deal with when Mar gets a little older and something tells me Xav cannot wait when she does.

Moe's Makes Amends

2008-07-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I received a kind letter from the manager of the Moe's - Thruway branch apologizing for our experience there a couple of weeks ago with a request that we return and 21 "Moe's Bucks."

This seems awfully generous to me and I'm not even sure why restaurants do it. Ok, I understand why but I am often too embarrassed to cash in gift certificates/money given to me by retailers after I complain about a poor experience. I don't do so because A) I want free stuff or B) I want someone to lose their jobs. I send formal complaints with hopes that they'll shape up their acts and spare the next family from a similar experience.

So now I've got more Moe's money than necessary to feed my family and I feel guilty about using it. I get that the manager wants me to give their branch another try. And I will . . . I just have to get up the nerve.

Silly things bother me. If only I could spend them here:

"The Sun Is A Mass Of Incadescent Gas"

2008-07-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

It’s July 28 and it is supposed to be hot around these parts, but that doesn’t make it any more fun. As we continue to regain our “W-S legs” from our beach trip, we find ourselves quite content with playing with Legos, blocks, trains and markers/crayons here in the house while the sun blazes away outside.

Still, we made a trip out to the Y this morning. I ventured outside for my run and let me tell you -- I could feel my face changing to deeper shades of red every five minutes. I was done after thirty. On the way home, with Mar passed out, Xav and I started talking about how hot it was when “Why Does The Sun Shine?” by They Might Be Giants came on the radio. We stopped talking and listened and when it was over, I asked Xav what he thought. He loved it. We’re listening to it again right now -- Mar is dancing away. This may become our family song for the rest of the summer.

Why didn’t I play this song to my science classes when I was a teacher? Ahh yes, no YouTube/mp3 technology/blah blah blah. There are so many cool things the internet allows teachers to do for their classes these days.

Ho-Ho-Ho Green Giant!

2008-07-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

Check these two out:

That is a full-sized phone book resting next to them. Junior (the one on the left) came in at 3.0 lbs on our non-Department of Agriculture certified scale. Senior is a touch bigger:

My brother is aware that zucchini should be picked before becoming half this size, but he swears they were nothing like this earlier in the week (they were plucked this morning). The pair of solid rains we had over our neighborhood + high temps apparently prompted a growth spurt.

Waiting for us at home was a bounty of new veggies from the garden. We took a bunch to the beach and left but a lonely tomato and bell pepper. After this afternoons plucking, we have this:

Another basketful is up at my brother's house. Four baskets in one week -- crazy. Thus, salad was on the menu tonight. We'll enjoy some jalapeno poppers + pasta with fresh veggies for dinner with the family tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm going to do with those Junior and Senior -- some kind of zucchini boats, I imagine.

Though hardly a stickler for all that is organic, these vegetables have nary been touched by a single chemical or growth horomone. Soil, compost, water and heat, raised beds and minimal weeding. Doc and I are certain we have consumed more fresh vegetables since our first leaf harvest in April than we have in any prior year. Xav just laughs -- he still can't believe that the plants that produce the squash and cucumbers (among others) came from tiny seeds we stuck in the dirt in late April. I can't lie -- I get a kick out of it as well. This whole gardening business has been great for the food but has been equally rewarding for the joy and amazement it brings to our daily lives.

One Month Away

2008-07-25T16:42:00.000-07:00

It's July 25, one month from August 25 and thus one month from the first day of school for Xav.

Why am I so sad/nervous/anxious? Doc keeps reminding me to be excited for Xav and I am -- he'll love it, I just know it. But he's growing up so fast. And I'm not sure I like it.

Back to Reality (for one week, anyway)

2008-07-25T16:34:00.000-07:00

Coffee on the porch, a run on the beach, an hour at the pool followed by a short nap. Three hours at the beach, a quick shower and a trip back to Cindy's for more fish and shrimp. Back on the porch with Harpoon, my computer and the wildlife. So goes and went my final day here on Kiawah.

Xav and Mar have enjoyed a wonderful week of swimming and sandcastle building. Doc and I have snapped hundreds of pictures and laughed a thousand laughs at our daughter, who picked this week to become the entertainer we knew she had in her. Mar's vocabulary is exploding as is her sense of humor. Further, I've never met one more eager to dance with another than she. She's partial to Blister In The Sun.

What a week . . . I'm sorry it is coming to an end. Fortunately, we've got one more beach week to go.

In-Laws Arrive, Beach Week I Winding Down

2008-07-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, Doc’s parents arrived from WV. It was a kind gesture by them to join us -- they recently returned from their own vacation in Mexico and are a bit tired, but they know that Xav really enjoys having them around. Indeed, their arrival has put a spark up his butt and even Mar has been a bit more excited over the last 24 hours.

I appreciate their presence for obvious reasons. A) They are extremely likeable. B) Though a bit awkward at first, our own relationship has been really solid since I’ve been staying at home. C) I’ve been able to enjoy a bit more “me” time. I’m currently enjoying a Harpoon Summer Beer out on the porch where the only noise I hear are those same cicadas and crickets I’ve noted previously.

I wrote about this last year -- one of the more awkward moments in the now 17 years that I’ve known my in-laws took place last year when Doc’s dad said to me, “I’m sorry you have to leave your job.” I didn’t take it that personally but it stung a bit -- it inferred to me that neither he nor her mom had thought through why we had actually decided to go this route. Rather than let it fester, I called her dad a couple of days later and we talked it out.

I read often about stay-at-home dads who experience some friction with their in-laws over this decision. I do not doubt that some in-laws from the Paleozoic Era can’t quite grasp how a dad could want to stay at home with the children. Further, I reckon there’s a bit of “why can’t you take care of daddy’s little girl” in every father-in-law. To top it all off, there are likely parents who will never be convinced that any man should ever be a stay-at-home parent. I just hope the dads take the initiative to at least talk with their in-laws about thinking behind the decision, even if it means defeat in the end. To do otherwise acknowledges, in a way, that their way of thinking is understandable and thus not worth debating. It totally is.

It’s Thursday evening now and we’ve begun the process of force-feeding ourselves the produce and dairy products we brought down for the week. Lunch was leftover spaghetti, cucumber salad and sautéed zucchini w/ tomatoes and garlic. Lunch tomorrow will be more of the same. Dinner? Seafood, silly. We’re at the beach!

Interesting Moments With The Kids At The Beach

2008-07-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

1) Mar developed a mean case of red ass (that’s a clinical term, folks -- ask your doctor) a couple of nights ago. It was so mean that she cried when she peed. Elaine once asked, “I don’t know how you guys live with those things.” Well, when I get red ass, it hurts “there” but I can still pee pain free. Too many access points for you ladies, if you ask me. She’s better now (diaper cream, diaper cream, diaper cream) and is again enjoying life.

2) Headed to the Charleston Children’s Museum yesterday. Of course, they can’t call it that -- they must call it the “Children’s Museum of the Lowcountry.” How fancy. Tell you what, the place doesn’t have the square footage of ours in W-S but what they do have is super nice. The exhibits were all high end and interactive. The water play room was good, the shrimp boat room was better but Xav most enjoyed the castle room -- what an incredible setup. I spent the whole time in there wondering what it would take to make something similar in our home. I believe it’s called money.

3) Drove to The Battery later in the day and walked around. Xav was mesmerized by the cannons and asked a lot of really good (and tough) questions. Mar was passed out in my arms, a 21 pound sweathog slumbering away in 90+ degree heat. We then headed over to Waterfront Park and offered Xav the option of soaking himself in the fountain. He declined and we just gazed out at the harbor instead. Man, Charleston is one beautiful city.

4) Ate a delicious dinner at Cindy’s, an organic grocer/fishmonger/market/restaurant a couple of miles short of Kiawah. I swear my helping of fish was close to a pound. Xav had never before consumed fresh fried shrimp (one of the workers said it was pulled off of a boat that morning) and I was worried. You see, he’s already hit me with the “Is it going to be as good as McDonald’s?” baloney when I told him I’d make him a burger at home. No shit. His prior fried shrimp experience was Mrs. Paul’s or that Gordon fisherman dude’s stuff and I know he likes that crap. But he loved the fresh shrimp and had a ball playing with the toys and checking out the scene.

5) After a day in Charleston and a big fish dinner, what better way to top it off than to head to the beach for the night. Xav and I spent a couple of hours building a sweet sandcastle/island development thingamajobby and then laughed histerically as the tide slowly came in and knocked it all down. Is there anything better?

Once home, Doc and I read to the kids and they quickly passed out. Feeling good and frisky, we settled in for a comfortable night on the couch and watched an uplifting little flick before retiring to our separate quarters (she sleeps with Mar in one room, Xav and I have our single beds in another). How romantic.

That's life at the beach with kids for you.

Edited to add that this blog has been brought to you by, well, me, stationed on a screened porch on a lagoon with beautiful birds, gentle breezes and not even the slightest sound of a lawnmower or leaf blower. Oh, and hell yes I'm enjoying a cold beer at 1:50pm.

I Hate Water Bugs

2008-07-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

You know, these roach-looking creatures that reside in beach communities? Hate them. I’m not a bug man. Xav is braver than I when it comes to bugs (as is my wife). I’m not a total puss, however -- I’ll deal with them when we cross paths, but always with a shudder.

So we’ve had three bugs in our pad. Whoopity-doo. Things really couldn’t be a whole lot better right now. Just got back from three hours at the beach. Spent a couple hours there last night as well. Xav is all about the surf and sand and it’s hard to get him out of the water. Mar actually is coping really well -- only 19 months old, she loves digging around and actually felt comfortable enough to go down for a 30 minute nap under the umbrella. Three hours without crying or incident? I’ll take it.

We haven’t even been here for 24 hours and yet I find myself calculating how much longer we have here -- why is it that I am always counting down how few days we have remaining? I could live here . . . I just wouldn’t want to work! I need to take it minute by minute.

Cooking for ourselves, drinking a sweet tasting Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat (purchased in Charleston, SC -- who woulda thunk it? Squirrel would be proud!), relaxing on the screened deck, listening to the cicadas. Life is good.