Fighting the Homosexual Agenda

everything zen? i don't think so.

2006-09-07T19:34:00.000-07:00

i just got an email from the allen campaign. they want me to post lots of stuff about lowell field calling george allen a monkey hater and committing a crime at raising kaine the likes of which haven't been seen since that one faithful night in byrd park during the allen administration. bashing lowell field is fine and dandy with me, because one lowell field once knocked on my door at 4am and tried to convert me to islam. i had my illegal immigrant housekeeper shoe him away, then i had the filthy winch deported. but not before i made her clean the toilets.

the allen campaign also wants me to link to jim riley's postings on lowell field. i originally had no problem doing that because i do whatever george allen tells me, short of definistration of the homeless, which i'll do without anyone telling me. please. i'm not some brown skinned hooligan who follows him around with a camera in an unprecedented attempt to harass him. i'm a civilized man. i was ready to serve mister allen.

then i happened across jim riley's vile cesspool of the homosexual agenda, virtual something. there, in this horrible place that richard gear's hampster dares not go, master riley promotes the homosexual agenda by displaying a tom davis banner (frog eating republican from northern virginia) and writing in a fruity manner about the perils of offending mexicans. somehow, these mexicans have riley's email address. why would they have his email address unless he worked part time scurrying illegals across the border in a wheel barrel that he rented from unitarians? i can think of no other reason.

besides, who cares about offending some illegal mexicans? when it comes to illegal mexican immigrants, i just thank god for the jumping bean, whose delightful prancing about distracts these sombrero wearing cretins long enough so that our children can usually escape from their grasp. though 1 in 10 children (1 in 9 minors) who come in contact with illegals end up being lured into joining the mexican army and attempting to retake the alamo.

the worst of it all is that i find out he works in the gravel industry, probably as a gravel arranger, making zen gardens. well i have news for you master riley. this is america. this is a christian nation, founded on the bedrock of christian principles, not the gravel of confucious.

george allen for president in 2008

2006-08-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

i'm switching my endorsement for 2008 from sam brownback to george allen. he is a jeffersonian conservative. thomas jefferson sent lewis and clark across the country with an indian guide, pocahontis. george allen called an indian a shithead sand monkey.

you see? he truly embodies jeffersonian ideals.

should the government pay homosexuals to fornicate? i say no

2006-07-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

this year delegate marshall and attorney general bob mcdonnell are promoting a special amendment that will make it illegal for the government to pay homosexuals to fornicate. i had no idea this was currently happening, but i'm very alarmed to learn from newsmax.com that it's been going on for some time now.

some liberals are spreading filth on the internet and claiming that this amendment legalizes wife beating. this is of course a lie concocted by beastiality enthusiasts who fear that this amendment will prevent them from receiving a hud grant for having a relations with their dog.

either way, wife beating is not a government issue, it's a family issue. it's an issue that the government should stay out of, because it's between a husband, his woman, and a priest (if he wants). the government has no business overruling a husband...unless he gets really unruly and knocks her unconscious a for couple of weeks straight (like into a coma) or keeps her in a cage for more than four hours per day. otherwise, these are family matters...and i'm not talking about the urkel show.

now excuse me i'm going install some really slippery stairs. hopefully my wife doesn't fall down them after this amendment passes, but you never know.

ken stolle, candidate for governor from lilly pad landing

2006-07-19T14:53:00.000-07:00

ken stolle, the eastern bloc tax commissar from tidewater, poland, is running for governor in 2009.

voting for ken stolle in the republican primary would be almost as painful as donating blood to an illegal immigrant boy who was hit by an suv. he is a pro-gay, anti-embryo, pro-mexican, anti-child, anti-fetus, anti-sperm, anti-zygote, pro-tax (also known as pro-homosexual) "republican" who might as well leave his party. and if he's shopping for parties, he might as well hop scotch right past the democratic party and join the green party or the communist party...or retire from the senate and serve as president of human rights watch or the national association for the advancement of mason nudist camps.

tonight i will print out 1500 pages with ken stolle's biography on them and use them for timber, toilet paper, and lining for the cage of richard gear, my hampster. i am so outraged right now i think i'll mass email congress on capwiz 400 times warning them that the atf is flying so many planes over my house that my alf-alfa crops are dying from lack of sunlight.

ken stolle. please. his supporters are the types of people who want to allow blow up dolls to marry post-menopausal senior citizens.

no more meat markets

2006-07-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

the homosexuals are selling their meat at a market. i was approached by several homosexuals in what they called a meat market. they sold me their meat and i took it by mistake. they are wily, and they tricked me, because they are wily. i sampled homosexual meat. i have eaten meat and i have enjoyed it. may god strike them down with a lightening bolt because they are demons and they are funded by the masons and the practice abortion with monkeys industry.

warning: shop at ukrops. avoid the homosexual meat markets.

i endorse harris miller for senate

2006-06-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

harris miller will eat george allen.

homosexual tax increase banned

2006-05-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

i heard the homosexual tax increase supported by the russians in the senate has been strangled by the icy hands of death.

this is good. but i will continue to chop down trees in the forest behind my house until i feel that our great commonwealth is safe from taxation, definistration of pastors during services, and mexican infiltration. the trees will feel pain, just as the hippies claim.

homosexuals making gains?

2006-04-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

attention old ladies:

the homosexuals agenda seems to be making gains. you must give your social security check to the christian broadcasting network. if you do not, your dead husband will no longer love you.

i own a crowbar

2006-03-31T11:01:00.000-08:00

open thread:

if a homosexual ever hit on your, what would you do?

a) hit him with a crowbar
b) kidnap his parents and read the bible to them
c) commit various random acts of arson

no, my endorsement will not save you from burning for an eternity

2006-03-30T11:16:00.000-08:00

it is rare that i weigh in on issues other than the masons, the homosexuals, and lesbian avengers club #34 which meets in waynesboro on thursdays. however, it is time for me to bring to your attention some candidates who are running against george allen, who proudly enjoys shoving it down whiny homosexuals' throats.

one is named james webb. i do not know much about him, but my mexican housekeeper told me he is both a vegan and a former college professor who taught liberal swine 101. i had her immediately deported upon hearing this news. her orphaned children will be sold at an auction and the proceeds will go towards an anti-homosexual wall around san francisco.

the other one is harris miller, who reads the whole bible and doesn't leave out the parts that condemn homosexuality, metrosexuality, the highly sexualized use of waffle irons, and the spanish language. i would like to endorse harris miller on account of this fact and i will send a formal endorsement later this month when i have time, or perhaps at the end of this month. mr miller will probably burn in hell and i will probably run over his campaign signs repeatedly with my truck later this year, but i must at least give him his momentary due as a man who smells the foul stench of the homosexual uprising. he has agreed to use his platform as an office seeker to promote this year's constitutional amendment that keeps marriage between one man, one woman, and their priest (if he wants).

do not be deceived. this endorsement does not mean i am flinching from my unwavering support of george allen, who supports a guest worker program that would allow illegal immigrants to apply for jobs as spare tires. and i still support sam brownback for president, who is the only candidate who can summon both earth, fire, wind, water, and heart.

when this race is over, i am confident that mr webb and mr miller will be shipped back to siberia on the train that they road in on.

george allen is not a feefy foofy man

2006-03-20T09:57:00.000-08:00

may god damn you all to hell for calling george allen a homosexual. he hates the homosexuals like all good conservatives. he wishes to issue them all collars and chains.

my blog rankings

2006-03-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

it's come to my attention that others write blogs. some are probably homosexuals, and rest are probably written by micheal golden from his private chamber in the surpreme court, god bless him. i will now rank the blogs in order of demonic possession and threat to the american way.

1. raising kaine - this blog once tried to convert me to islam.

2. getting around - this man thought it would be easier to promote the homosexual agenda if he built up his body like mister clean.

3. commonwealth conservative - these men profess to be against homosexual marriage, and yet they joined together in a blog union. it's a slippery slope.

4. perservando - this blog may be run by mexicans. the name makes that much clear. what isn't clear is whether the owner of this blog has pointed a lazer beam at my house with the express permission of the atf.

5. not larry sabato - this blog is dedicated to destroying mars. while i support this goal (the masons have been trying to colonize mars for years), it has been fortold to me that this might cause the james river to turn to blood.

6. too conservative - this blog is run by the ex-soviet operatives pretending to be republicans. i had it's scribblings translated from russian into english. it was mostly rantings about building roads by raising higher taxes on vodka in windshield wipers. the only road that's being built by this blog is the road to hell.

7. waldo jaquith - this blog converts 400 people to homosexuality against their will every day. it also send 150 people into a demon induced tizzy fit. if abortion on demand is really legal, then i demand the abortion of waldo jaquith.

8. nova democrat - this is my first listing written by masons, for masons, and about masons. i've noticed that every time i read this blog a helicopter flies over my house.

9. alabama gop - this is my other blog. it will ensure that bob riley is not reelected. god bless roy moore. he will throw bob riley out the window of the governor's mansion like edward longshenks threw the homosexual that his son was dating out the window.

10. virginia belle - i read this blog and god punished me by forcing my son to wear a dress.

there you have it. these are the blogs that i read. the rest are controlled by nambla, although unicef is looking into that.

i'm going away again on a mission from god against the homosexuals. if i die, my final wishes are below:

i would like to be covered in plaster and sit in a big dish with water over my head.

sex with animals: the next step

2005-05-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

i'm on the homos email list (for survailence purposes), and i recently recieved the following:

"The conservatives are fully intolerant. The only way we can beat them, is to push them completely into submission. That's why, next year, we're going to push for new laws framed as "libertarian" laws. Conservatives love to call themselves libertarians. This will of course open the way for all kinds of sodomy, all kinds of sex toys, orgies, and of course, sex with animals. Once we've legalized sex with animals, we'll know that the Christian Right cannot attack us anymore. Many of you do not have sex with animals, but I still feel that it is important that we push this issue, because it will open the door for our lifestyle choice.

Sincerely,
Barnie Frank"

i received this email today. needless to say, i vomited blood all over the floor, and i made my illegal immigrant house keeper clean it up and then i called the feds and i sent her away.

can you believe that the homosexuals are willing to legalize animal sex just because it will help them live their own deviant lifestyle? can you even believe that? it's almost unbelievable. and most of them belong to peta, that's the craziest part. i pray that my children die of some sort of painful blood disease before they have to live in a world with animal sex. dear lord: if the homosexuals succeed, please let my children die an early death.

refried welfare checks

2005-05-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

the illegal immigration problem is getting out of control. just last week, over 15,000 mexicans entered my neighborhood. talk about suburban sprawl. they're all living in 44 small shacks that the government pays for. they emerge occasionally to collect government checks, but then go back to their layers. they send most of this money to their families in mexico and none of it is invested in the economy.

that's right. illegal immigrants are sitting in our land, ciphering away our tax money, and sending it straight to mexico. some of them aren't even alive anymore, they're just dead mexicans stuffed with straw that liberals put in wheel barrows, roll up to the welfare benefits office, and ask for their free money. and if the liberals don't get their checks they threaten to perform a homosexual act in an elementary school in front of the children. that's enough to convince any god fearing clerk at the welfare office to give out a check. their hand is forced.

this is a racket and nothing more. we're financing the mexican government. no wonder our property taxes keep going up. there are untold billions of dollars that the state pays to the mexican work force, and 11% of those people aren't even alive, their stuffed with straw or even hay.

the liberal media won't tell you about any of this, because guess what? hispanics don't work, they stay home and watch telemundo. so the liberal media collects advertising revenue because of these hispanics and they have an investment in these people not working and sitting at home.

if that's not crazy enough, some of these illegals are harassing doctors about medical care and trying to get it paid for too. imagine if your grandmother was sick with a cold and tried to go the emergency room, but six illegal immigrant children were waiting in line to get vaccinations instead of being sent back on their intertubes to mexico and cuba. imagine that. that's exactly what's happening.

i hear down at the welfare office they aren't even giving checks out to white or black people anymore. they give them all to illegals. it's a billion dollar industry and the liberal media is in on the whole thing. not to mention the "moderate" pinko republicans like jeb bush who wouldn't send armed soldiers to free terri schiavo, mainly because his wife is an illegal and would get arrested if they drew too much media attention to florida and they happened to check her papers.

and now an analogy: blacks vs republicans

2005-05-11T18:27:00.000-07:00

black people suffered for years and years and years under the oppression of the democratic party elites and the liberals who refused to remove the yolk of slavery. this continued after the civil war, since the civil war wasn't fought over slavery, and continued until the civil rights movement, when the white conservative republicans finally liberated the blacks once and for all, despite the protestations of the white liberal democrats in the northeast, west coast, and particularly some black muslims who wanted to keep the blacks down.

a similar thing is happening today. the conservatives are under attack from every corner. they can barely maintain their majorities in the senate house and their slim majority in the executive branch (condi rice and hud secretary alfonso jackson are communists) without being attacked by liberals.

today, the most eggregious piece of prejudice that the earth has ever seen is taking place in virginia. i quite honestly cannot even swallow the blood in my mouth, i am so outraged. liberals are making fun of the way that jerry kilgore speaks. these are the same liberals who fake their faith (that's right. tim kaine's faith is fale. he fakes it for the cameras). these are the same liberals who take joy in the spread of hiv as well as aids in addition to the disease magic johnson has.

this is comparible to what happened to the blacks during the civil rights movement. how dare the homosexuals dare mock jerry kilgore and claim that he is one of them? how dare they claim that jerry kilgore is sick with the pestilence of homosexuality and that he injected his wife with another man's sperm to make his chilren? it makes my blood boil when i think of those liberals and how they're accusing jerry kilgore of having his children thanks to a sperm donation from a tainted illegal mexican sperm bank (that's the immigrants' sneakiest way of slipping into our borders). that's what these homosexual liberals are claiming.

pray for the republicans. they are under attack from every angle by the most evil, wretched creatures that the earth has ever seen. if not for the 10th amendment, i'd say that jerry kilgore should ship these homosexuals to another state, but interstate commerce is regulated by the federal government and that wouldn't be legal.

a mission of mercy

2005-05-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

sometimes its easy to forget the heavenly purpose of this blog, and that is to fight and stop the homosexual agenda at all costs. the lord has sent me as his gardening hoe, and i will gladly destroy the liberal weeds in his name. but let us not forget that we are on a mission of mercy. our purpose is to cure the homosexuals of their wretched ailment and their lisps, just as our lord cured the lepers. we are on a mission of mercy, and no amount of liberal hatemongering will stop us on our task. we know the liberal agenda is closely tied to the homosexual agenda. for our purposes here they can be treated as one and the same. lets not forget what the liberals want to do. they want to recycle our bibles and turn them into toilet paper so they can support their sinful high-fiber diets. they want to force good christian men and women to fight like gradiators just like in the days of yore. they want to steal our children and sell them to neo-gypsy cults. the bucket painters and the one-armed swedish socialists in congress might let all this go, but i cannot give in so easily. i am on a mission of mercy. i have helped cure thousands of homosexuals, but there is still work to be done. i am on a mission of mercy, and i am an instrument of god. those who refuse to accept that mercy will surely meet the devil himself as they are engulfed in the flames of hell. and when i'm in heaven i'll look down on them and laugh because i did all i could. and jerry kilgore will be right there next to me, holding my hand.

my bad stomach virus

2005-05-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

i've been sick for the past few days. this has caused me to fade in and out of consciousness. sometimes i'm conscious for 16 hours straight. this is immediately followed by 8 hours of unconsciousness. it's bizarre. very bizarre.

meanwhile, i haven't been able to keep down any of the blue-green algae that i eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

the homosexuals have something to do with this. i can feel it.

what is a liberal?

2005-05-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

sometimes i am asked, what is a liberal? well, i am here to tell you. the first thing you should know is that liberals are tricky, like leprechauns and squirrels. do not lend them money because they will spend it on raunchy nickelodeons and anal lubricants, and then they will not pay you back, instead they will give the money to the federal government or to a cuban book club. this happened to me many times before i was the wise man i am today. though most liberals are homosexual in some way, some are bisexuals. the bisexual is one of the liberals' strongest recruiting tools. bisexuals are constantly on a mission to steal good christian husbands and wives away from their spouses. they will lure you with promises of threesomes with famous hollywood liberal communists, but then they will take you down the path of bestiality - there is nothing a liberal likes more than to coerce a good conservative man or woman into sexual relations with a horse or large dog. and usually liberals will invite their liberal judge friends to watch. and then the trial lawyers and the masons will videotape the whole thing and sell it to children. you might think i exaggerate, but today i am going easy on the liberals, believe it or not. tomorrow maybe i will reveal the full extent of their evil demonry.

waldo jaquith is a homosexual

2005-05-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

i'll be speaking in waynesboro next weekend. see me there.

correction: originally i said that "waldo jaquith is a homosexual". what i really meant was "i eat lunch usually around 1pm. this is a bit late compared to most people, but i'm just not hungry until that time period."

sorry for the mistake.

i'm posting on a new blog now

2005-05-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

this blog is run by a young conservative that loves jerry kilgore. i can't argue with that, can i?

Kilgore for Governor

jerry kilgore not a homosexual nancy boy foofy high pitched willy nilly

2005-05-09T16:16:00.000-07:00

i've heard jerry kilgore talk. he sounds just fine. in fact, sometimes his voice makes me erect (the hairs on the back of my neck). i might have lunch with jerry kilgore this weekend. and i'll tell you one thing: he is not some homosexual nancy pancy feefy boy sissy mama's boy wimp. he's a real man. i heard a story one time on talk radio about him. let me retell it to you:

jerry was in the kitchen and his cat, mr. meow, jumped on him. mr. meow cut jerry all up with his claws, made him bleed, and made him cry. jerry took the cat and put it in the garbage disposal and that was the end of mr meow.

if you don't believe me, well i don't have a recording of that radio program, but i think i heard it and it's probably true. this story proves that jerry kilgore ain't no sissy. see, jerry doesn't take any flack from anybody. not cats and certainly not aclu lawyer tim kaine. in fact, i heard tim kaine is out representing those wiccans in chesterfield county this weekend and that's why he isn't campaigning and that's also why he's hired a warlock as his campaign manager.

hopefully i'll have lunch with jerry kilgore this weekend and i can clear up whether this story is true. i'll let you know how that goes.

breaking news: i just found out that this story is not true. when i said, "jerry took the cat and put it in the garbage disposal and that was the end of mr. meow", what i really meant was, "jerry made a speech in richmond, va last week." my mistake. typos are hard to avoid with these new fangled computers.

no banking for homosexuals

2005-05-08T16:55:00.000-07:00

it is a time for rejoicing. it has just come to my attention that the fda will ban homosexuals from using banks. the reason for this is that homosexuals like to hang out in banks so that they can steal people's checkbooks and use them to send checks to nambla and the masons. finally the communists in the fda get something right. though they have limited the restriction to certain banks called "sperm" banks. start writing letters so that we can get the homosexuals out of our banks completely. a homosexual with a bank account is a dangerous thing.

what to do with the homosexuals

2005-05-08T12:09:00.000-07:00

there is a dilemma we all face, and that is what to do with homosexuals. they're cursed kind continues to spread its seed and foul up our society, way of life, drinking water, and supermarket produce. the question is this - how can we cure the homosexuals in a loving way that does not require us to go near them, talk to them, or have them criticize our choices in apparel? we could wait for the lord to return to earth and beat the homosexuality out of them with his walking stick(this could happen any day now), but we need to figure out what to do until that day comes. it is a question i have wrestled with for many months, and now i think i have the answer.

i have crafted a letter to richard santorum, the most honorable crusader/senator from pennsylvania, and also to our non-communist delegates and senators in the virginia general assembly(there are maybe thirty of those). it details a groundbreaking plan to keep the radical homosexual agenda at bay for many years to come. i cannot reveal all that much about it - just that it will eliminate the need for the anti-homosexual sprays, deoderants, disinfectants, vaccines, antibiotics, pesticides and tear gas that most of us have to keep in our kitchen cabinets. should rev. santorum write legislation based on my letter, we may be able to stop the homosexual agenda once and for all. as you know the homosexual agenda is about more than just being homosexual. its about an active effort to convert our children into deviants and force them into relationships with animals as small as house cats and as large as polar bears. the homosexual agenda is about using "back-door" methods to allow effeminate mexicans into our country. its about forcing good christian capitalists to work on collective farms and factories and make fancy hats for their homosexual overlords. its about taking away our guns and turning them into new-age art exhibits in communist new york city. its about the liberal college professors teaching their young students to snatch young people from their homes(by using underground tunnels dug by masons) and dressing the boys up in high heels and garter belts and teaching the girls to use a hammer. i am sick and tired of it, and it has to be stopped.

i won't reveal the contents of the letter i wrote just yet, but here are some things to think about. what if we didn't have to deal with the homosexuals anymore? wouldn't you live a happier, healthier, godlier, more heterosexual life? wouldn't you? as christians we can't do anything to harm the homosexuals, because we love them as if they were our own distant relatives. but maybe there's something else we could do. what if, and this is just a hypothetical, what if homosexuals had their own town? far away from all the other towns? away from our children, our pets, and our one-legged cousins? it would allow the great thinkers of our generation (robertson, savage, myself) to think up a cure for homosexuality without constant homosexual distractions to worry about. and maybe we could put them to work on healthy, heterosexual endeavors. this is just something for you all to think about. its all hypothetical. but i think we're all ready for a solution. and we want that solution to have some finality. in this way we will eradicate the sin, but if the sinner manages to get cured, we will bless him and he may return and live amongst us once more. and if the liberal judges have a problem with it, they can go live with the homosexuals or move to france.

the homosexuals will not be given medical treatment

2005-05-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

the great thing about state politics is that you can find some great proposals in other states. in federal politics, you can only look at other countries, most of which are stricken with homosexuality, socialism, and pro-lisp laws.

michigan just passed a wonderful law that lays the groundwork for the eventual goal of separating homosexuals from the rest of society:

Doctors or other health care providers could not be disciplined or sued if they refuse to treat gay patients under legislation passed Wednesday by the Michigan House.

The bill allows health care workers to refuse service to anyone on moral, ethical or religious grounds.

The Republican dominated House passed the measure as dozens of Catholics looked on from the gallery. The Michigan Catholic Conference, which pushed for the bills, hosted a legislative day for Catholics on Wednesday at the state Capitol.

The bills now go the Senate, which also is controlled by Republicans.

The Conscientious Objector Policy Act would allow health care providers to assert their objection within 24 hours of when they receive notice of a patient or procedure with which they don't agree. However, it would prohibit emergency treatment to be refused.

Opponents of the bill said they're worried it would allow providers to refuse service for any reason. For example, they said an emergency medical technicians could refuse to answer a call from the residence of gay couple because they don't approve of homosexuality.

the only treatment that homosexuals should be seeking is a cure for their horrible disease of homosexuality. hopefully this law is only the beginning, and eventually we can seek a quarantine of all homosexuals.

to those of you on the left: if you think that people like me are a joke, we're not real, or we can't get anything accomplished, I tell you this: we control the republican party. we write policy and we control the country right now. it's only a matter of time, but we will beat back the homosexual agenda sooner or later.

we must destroy hud

2005-05-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

hud grants are being used to open up methadone clinics in the rural areas and bath houses in our inner cities. naturally, this spreads aids and filthy needles, as well as hiv.

president bush has rightfully proposed to send hud back to hell. what does this have to do with virginia? well hud employs lots of workers in northern virginia, and these workers are converted to homosexuality as a requirement for being hired. that's not something the liberal media will tell you, but i heard it on the michael savage show last week.

not only that, but hud offers free day care to their employees. pure socialism. the government shouldn't be helping anyone in any way what so ever, and if they do, it's socialism. the government is the problem, much like the chinese people were the problem when they brought over that plague that killed the chestnuts.

i once applied for a hud grant. the grant would have build a listening station that would focus lazer beams at every unitarian church on the east coast. they rejected my proposal and sometimes i see men in dark cloaks following me late at night.