The Soiled Chamois

As expected

2009-12-06T20:50:00.000-05:00

As expected I didn't ride today, tomorrow I can't due to wanting/needing to get XXC out very soon, and Tuesday I will be enduring Root Canal Round II. I guess I could call that "training?"

WIfey is off to Baltimore, me and B-Man are "baching it" and having fun playing soccer in the house. Not happy to have WIfey gone for the next 5 days, but I am proud and happy about all that she does, can do, and puts up with from my slack ass. I will also admit that B-Man is a SUPER easy kid to take care of and we have fun. Which I also have to give credit to Wifey for. Because if he was more like me, he would be a real pain in the rumpbuss (not rhombus) to take care of along.

My goals this week are to get XXC out ASAP, get the teeth shit taking care of, take xtra special care of B-Man, and then start focusing on Southern Cross. Even though my only goal for the race is to finish, have fun, and get some pics for XXC.

Time to read some bed time stories and get some sleep. Gonna be a busy week. But, soon I "base" or at least mucho "stankment" time will be upon me. Giddy.

Later.

It takes time...

2009-12-05T17:28:00.000-05:00

It takes time for winter to get to WPA anymore, but it does come. And it came today. Bitch!

Every year I bitch, moan, and ache (literally, it's called arthritis!) my way through the winter asking myself why in the hell we continue to live here?? I keep thinking that this whole global warming thing will really take shape and I'll be riding all year long in shorts (yes, I'm that self absorbed and selfish), and there are hints of that happening, but damn, I think it might be time to just get out of Dodge. You do understand that barring some uber promotion to Wifey, this will never really happen, but as part of Article 5, Section 6 of The Soiled Chamois Manifesto I HAVE to say these things every winter. Sorry.

With a ton of mag work to do, snow showers in the air, and motivation to ride in the snow and cold set at -8 right now, I threw up double birds to the day, pulled an hour on the trainer doing my best to simulate a ball dropping 45 minute climb. A monumental sweat was achieved, cold was avoided and work was then done. If it were not for Wifey asking me to fetch some Merlot, I never would have left the f*cking house, and would have been just fine with that.

The weather looks cold but nice tomorrow, so I MIGHT get out. But Wifey is leaving for the land of crabs and Edgar Allan Poe tomorrow for a gig dropping law knowledge on some .gov type folks, so I of course want some max Unit time. Family unit, not my unit, but of course my unit wouldn't mind... oh shit, too much info again! I really need to stop that!

I inevitably will start riding in the cold and snow. There's no option, but today I just could not do it.Too much on my mind and on my plate to endure the layers of shit that need to be applied before venturing out. It take time... but I will. After all I gotz me a race in a month!! LOL!

I'm inching ever closer to completion of XXC #5. There's an article or two still out there that hasn't come it yet, but unless I can get them soon, I will run the mag as is by Wednesday or Thursday of next week.. Little smaller than last issue, but truthfully the last issue was freakishly long at 80+ pages. I also sit fingers crossed for a certain pho-tog to grant me permission to use a pic, or one article will need to be reworked. Frig.

Oh well, Wifey's got some Merlot, I have some Storm King (thanks Yancy!), and B-Man has a date with an iCarly movie.

Time to go see if I can get my .mp4 of "A Sunday In Hell" off of my old Mac.

Later.

Back On Track

2009-12-04T16:44:00.003-05:00

Back on track, but not so back on the bike. Between root canals, car inspections, and trying to wrap up XXC #5, it's been a busy week. I mean BUSY. I kid you not, I NEVER worked this hard when I had a pay check job. NEVER. There was a busy day now and then, but I worked my 8 hours (or close enough) and went home. Now it's pretty much all the time. And that's cool, because I love doing it. I feel like I did when I was 18 and used to draw all the time, and would just stay up late drawing, and working on stuff because It was fun. But this is "funner!"

I also threw caution to the winter wind and got signed up for Southern Cross today. I believe me and Mr. Bradley Schmalzer (on bass guitar!!) will be making the trek to the land of the Dukes. Yeeeeeeehaaawwwww!

Not sure what the hell I'm thinking. I'm a good 10 el-bees over racing weight, hardly ride all week, and sign up to drive 10+ hours, ride 50+ miles and climb almost 8,000 feet. IN JANUARY!!! WTFF?? Yeah, that's right- double f. Take a look at the course, better yet take a look at the friggin' elevation gain!

But it feels good to look forward to something other than Christmas. I don't really look forward to that, other than it being over. So much for my semi-retirement from racing. Just when I think I'm out, something draws me back in to the suffering. Cool.

Well gotta spit, mucho to do, plus in B-Man's words- "It's fun filled Friday!"

EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot... Because this blog can NEVER have too many pics of sausages at bike races-

Pic from mtbs.cz

Later.

Witching Hour and My Happy Place

2009-12-02T20:39:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been referring to the time between 3:30 a.m. and 4:30 a.m as the "Witching Hour." Sadly that's NOT the time when a gaggle of nymphomaniac witches enter my bedroom and seduce me... It's the time when I wake up. EVERY night. It's the time I wake up and fail to fall back to sleep. It's sort of maddening. Been going on for months now. OK, I DO fall back to sleep, but usually not until 6 a.m., and I get up a 6:30. Not fun.

I lay, think, fear, long, regret, cringe, shudder, etc., etc., We've all been there. Last night it was mostly just thinking of things I need to do/want to do. I try to just empty my mind (you would THINK that would be easy given how little I have IN my mind!!) and go to my "happy place." but it doesn't really seem to be working right now. What, you don't have a happy place?

Oh yes, the "happy place"... The place you go when you're trying to fall asleep, a place where you go when there is some complete idiot in front of you at the self checkout lane at Giant Eagle and you're giving it all you've got to not just FREAK out on them. A place where you go when topics turn to religion or politics at family dinner tables. I'm sure you have one, you must! Wanna know what mine is? NO, it's not safely in the bosom of a buxom red head (not that there's anything wrong with that, but that crosses over into fantasy and the whole "devil vs. idle hands" thing).

My place is Gothic Road (317), Crested Butte, Colorado.
Right around Emerald Lake.

It's right about here that the touristy traffic on the forest road starts to slow and/or disappear, the grade keeps getting steeper, you can see how Emerald Lake got it's name. You may or may not even run into some snow on the road, even in July! It's here that you start to get even more giddy about making it up to Trail 401, it's mountain meadows, and waist high wild flowers bordering it's incredible single track.

So why wouldn't I just think of the single track? Well the single track get the blood moving and the mind racing (again with the "idle hands" thing). Nope, it's the slow grind up Gothic, in air so thin that low landers like me wishing for supplemental oxygen, that is the perfect place to be.

Keeping a slow tempo in granny gear, taking in views of mountains that are so huge that you have to tilt your head back to see the top. So perfect and so picturesque you could weep. That's the place. Deep breaths, focused and glad to be alive.

Once to the top and the 401 trail head, you still have some more climbing to do. This time up single track just below tree line in some pine. Eventually you are in an open mountain meadow. This is another place to mentally go. There are mountains in every direction. Single track before you and in behind. The air is chilly, the sun is blindingly bright and except for the sound of the breeze blowing through the few remaining trees above tree line, it is silent. Perfect. It is the place that I would want my ashes to be spread when I die.

I've been lucky enough to make it to C.B. 3 times. The last time was when B-Man was just one year old. At that time I rode with my compact film camera, so all I have now are prints. I really need to get a scanner, or track down the photo discs that I KNOW I had made at least ONE of the times we were there.

So if this is my perfect happy place, why can I not sleep? Maybe it's not so perfect? Maybe lately it's just fueling the sleeplessness? Maybe I fear I won't make it back again? Maybe I regret employment/financial decisions that may prevent it from happening again? Maybe I shudder to think that the next time I experience that meadow it will be when Wifey hikes her then old ass up Gothic Road to spread my ashes!!

Maybe I need to think of a new "happy place?" I've been given many great opportunities to experience some incredible places and do some really cool things. Some just a few miles away, some thousands. Sometimes I think there are too many, and the sleeplessness just might come from not cherishing all of them.

So tonight when I most likely wake up at 4 a.m. I've made a pack with myself to not think about life's issues, work, bikes or blogs. I'm going to lay and mentally list the places that I've been over the past year, and try to remember what made those times so special. Try to remember their sights, their sounds, their smells. And even if I don't sleep I will relax knowing that where I've been and where I want to go.

I gotta get some sleep. I went all out and did some time in the Stankment tonight with the trainer and weights. Not exactly the greatest, but hey I call it "happy place preparedness." :)

Later.

Been Better. Been Worse. What Am I?

2009-12-01T19:53:00.000-05:00

Not much to talk about. There's been no riding and I'm busy as frig with the mag, and I MAY have to push a deadline back (not happy), but I'd rather delay a few days and put out something great than "blahhhhh." On top of all that I had Root Canal Round One today. Yeah, that was fun. Nothing like smelling the motor of the dentist's drill as it spins away just inches below your nose. Ouch. Insult to injury was having to listen to my dentist (a super nice guy), hum Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing" whilst he drilled my tooth. Damn, THAT was SO uncalled for.

In actual bike related stuff... I'm coming to grips mentally with WHAT exactly I am becoming as a cyclist. Me thinks the ship has done sailed on ever getting fast, or even competing at the mid pack level again. So what am I to do? Accept it and just race for fuck's sake? Nothing wrong with that! Fight it, and continue to make a fool of myself? Again, nothing wrong with that! I've never looked at racing as "competing," but dropping from the mid pack in most of my races was a real blow to my fragile, homeless, retarded man living under a bridge type ego. Deep down I look at endurance racing as a very well organized group ride.

I still want to race, because THAT is what I do in the summer. I do plan to race less, and try to have more fun when I AM racing. I am not longer billing myself as a "bike racer." Just a guy who likes to ride his bike a lot, and when I race my bike, I want to be in the saddle for a long time. XC is great, but not for me. If I am going to take a day to travel, race, etc., I want to race more than 20 miles. Again, don't give me shit about racing XC, because I dig it, it's just not my thang. Oh well, I'm sure between some good food, good beer, long rides, and pharmaceuticals I'll figure it all out. As long as I'm riding, I will be good. Hmmm, I wonder if I can ride tomorrow???

Anyway, this was sort of one of those post for posts sake type posts (did I say "post" enough?").

Later.

One Of The Last Ones?

2009-11-29T22:06:00.000-05:00

OK, yesterday's (attempted) ride sucked. But today the temps were going to be in the mid to high 60 with sun. In freaking late November! Sweet Baby Jesus!

I was tempted to take the road bike out, but when I realized that I have yet to put the tires that I bough for it back in July or August on, I figured "f it," just keep rolling the Mamasita. That's fine by me because it my chubby by the minute meat sticks were in need of a nice flat warm up before I hit the hills. So I started at the rail trail.'

The bike computer shit the bed today. Today was first time in a LONG time that the Cateye wireless computer shat said bed. Due for a new battery I suppose. So I had to wing the time/distance thing. Not a fan. Later tonight I did Mapped My Ride to get some numbers. Not a bad route. But I've done better.

Knobbie Road Ride A
Find more Bike Rides in Mckeesport, Pennsylvania

It was just super nice to be out in the sun riding in shorts. Winter is coming later in the week, so it was nice to take advantage of the gift from Ma Nature. Thanks.

LOTS of work to do this week on the mag. Going to be super busy with stuff, plus trying to get back on board Operation Eating Dissorder and get some riding in. Yikes!

Gotta get some rest.

Later.

That Sweet 2%

2009-11-28T22:46:00.005-05:00

There was a ride PLANNED today, but NO actual ride took place. Drove to the mountain (45 min.) went .5 miles, turned around because I forgot my spare tube. Got it. Road 1 mile on my not for slick and muddy CrossMarks, and then the road turned into a private drive. Rode 100 yards more of muddy forest road. Got KILLER chain suck. Stop, started, sucked, started, sucked, started sucked. Aborted and rode back to the xB.

Loaded up my bike drove ANOTHER 45 minutes home. F*ck it.

Made some killer Mexican, had some good friends come over and had a great night. My life is 98% about bikes. But sometimes that 2% is pretty damn sweet!

Later.

So...

2009-11-27T21:11:00.002-05:00

So Thanksgiving was titz. Good food, good beer, great family and friends. I missed seeing my family, but concessions are/need to be made to make everyone happy. I've been roasting up turkey for about 3 or 4 years now, but I have to say, the bird I cooked up yesterday was my best ever. Got the recipe on line but then went free form on it's ass..

* 8 LB breast
* 2 quarts vegetable stock
* 1/2 cup salt (3/4 cup Kosher or coarse salt)
* 1/2 cup white sugar
* 1 tablespoon dried sage
* 1 tablespoon dried thyme
* 2 quarts cold water

OK that was the brine, but little things that made a difference: I cooked the breast upside down, that is to say boob side down in the pan in a pool of vegetable stock. I also left the skin ON for cooking. In the past I've taken it off to save a few grams of fat/calories. But f*cki it, it's T-Giving and the BIRD is the shit. And I must say it was the best bird boob EVER!!!!!!!!!

Tonight we polished off the bird-boobs with some turkey/rice/vegetable stir fry. I of course felt compelled to TRY to finish off the Indian Brown that I have, but that was most likely a bad choice. Because since dinner I have found myself on YouTube watching old Smiths concert footage and lamenting life's choices. Not regretting, just lamenting.

Saw my first snow shower of 09/10 today. If I would have had the time and the ballz I would have become intimate with the gas oven, but I was too wrapped up in having fun with B-Man and getting used to the tooth pain that is now part of my everyday life to worry about roasting my cranium.

Hoping to get out and ride tomorrow. If not, I'm sure I will find something to occupy my time.

Later.

T'Giving 'Tude

2009-11-26T15:06:00.003-05:00

Got the bird brinned and go to go in the a.m., and was being a general pain in the ass around the house so Wifey encouraged me to go out for a spin. So I headed to the rail trail to spin a few miles hit a hill or two and then get my cranky ass bad toothed self back to 1147 in time to cook my bird and get all the Thankgiving Shiz Nit ready.

Legs were DEAD when I started, the only good thing was seeing that the switch to the Maxxis CrossMarks on the Mamasita hooked me up with an easy extra 1 to 2 mph of speed dude to their low rolling resistance.

Anyway, I'm spinning along happy to be outside and I see this dude rolling in front of me on the left of the trail sporting jeans, bandanna and a satin jacket (you know the kind that baseball pitchers and/or union workers wear). He's on top some vintage lime green mountain bike of the Huffy persuasion with the bar ends turned up. OK, so what, as I coast up along side of him with the Hope Pro II's clicky-clacking. I turn getting ready to say good morning, as I pass, but before I do he speaks first. I THOUGHT he was gonna give me the usual stuff you get from folks as you pass- "good morning, how's it going, etc., etc,...) but oh no, dude looks at me and dead serious and curtly says "you really should announce when you're going to make a pass!" I was a a little shocked. And my brain filtered out the appropriate response---

A. Seriously you're giving me shit?? I've raced and rode thousands of miles this year with hardly an incident, and you're gonna give me shit on the rail freaking trail?? I wonder if your sister whom you live with, who is actually your mom, but you THINK is your girlfriend and are having a incestuous affair with will "announce" she's going to throw a frozen turkey at your bandannaed head later, when she gets all boozed up on wine coolers and huffed gas after she finds out that you've been having an affair with her sister (your dead beat dad's ex wife) who is actually your grandma????? On your f*cking left dude!! Or should I say RIGHT, since you're on the wrong side of the f*cking trail??

Orrr

B. Well Mr. Trail Police with no helmet riding on the ride side of the trail with your bar ends turned up in an unsafe manner, I thought you could hear my f*cking hub clicking away. Happy Thanksgiving. DICK!

Orrr

C. Ahh, sorry man I thought you would be able to hear my hub, it's pretty loud. And the trail is so wide, I did't think if was a big deal. Have a good one.

Of course I went with "C". But I found myself regretting NOT going with A. or B. the rest of the ride. But I know if I had, I would have regretted it more later. I mean I do NOT need the dudes girlfriend/lover/sister/grandma lady friend to come after me with a frozen turkey or a vat full of hot deep fried turkey oil.

The ride was a good idea. I blew some mental stank out, got a sweat on, and will enjoy tonight's grub just a bit more. Sorry I ruffled the guys turkey feathers by not "announcing myself." All my ranting was just f*cking around, and looking for an excuse to rant about things other than tooth pain.

Hope you folks got some riding in and had a great day.

Later.

Chemistry

2009-11-25T18:29:00.001-05:00

This seriously is the lamest excuse for a bike blog ever. Hell now I'm not even TALKING about bikes, just me. Maybe that's a good thing? Now I can just be an "out" narcissist, and can set aside the ruse of bike racing.

I'm no stranger to modern chemistry and the various pharmaceuticals that it provides (good and bad), but damn, I've been shoving more types of pain relievers/antibiotics in my body than any (INSERT GIANT AIR QUOTES!!) "healthy" person should. F*cking teeth man. I will never take them for granted. Now go brush!

Things do seem to be improving slightly. I've been able to stick to OTC pain killers since 5 a.m today, and my mouth continues to lack the barrel of a 357, so things aren't TOO bad. Plus I've learned some new ways to enjoy food. Like this soon to be at a Sonic (home to White Trash favorites like Tater Tots) breakfast fave....

Microwave one potato for 5 to 6 minutes.
Scramble 1 egg and set aside.
Remove skin of said microwaved potato.
Add egg, salt, pepper, a teaspoon or so of Smart Balance butter
1 piece of fat free cheese and a dash of skim milk.
Mix, mash and scramble together until melted and looking like tasty baby vomit. Mmmmmm carbs, protein, and CHEESY goodness in one "who needs teeth??" bowl.

Sonic, Wendy's AND McDonald's recently contacted me about this recipe, but Ronald can suck it, this is all mine!! Speaking of that dooshe Ronald, have you seen the commercial where Ronald McDonald make stars appear in the sky for the kids?? I guess he's God? He gives food (for only 99¢!!!), can take your life (with said fatty and shitty food) and can put stars in the sky. I guess on 7th day, Ronald created the chicken McF*king Nugget??

I guess I need to at LEAST make an attempt to talk about bikes, so here it goes.... I MIGHT go for a spin on the road tomorrow, IF I can get my shit together in time, and get all my kitchen duties done in time. If not, f*ck it. OK, see this ISSSS a bike blog.

OK, enough of that sh*t. Happy Thanksgiving to all you folks. Hoping the tooth improves enough to enjoy my bird tomorrow.

Later.

The Tryptophan Coma That Almost Was

2009-11-24T18:28:00.005-05:00

So the battle of my tooth continues. Like a gift from heaven OR the business end of luck procured from cracking open a double yoked egg today, my dentist called with an opening for 3 p.m.. GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING!

Little chip...Tiny invisible crack...PAIN!! Pokes, prods, and me on antibiotics for a week, with a side of pain pills until the tooth is in good enough shape to work on. Great. Freaking great. Couldn't have just been a cavity. This sort of puts my plans to eat myself into a Tryptophan induced coma on hold. Unless there's some serious pain relief from the meds I'll be making a bird that I can't even eat.

Oh well, all I can do is hope for the best. My non riding week of sloth has turned into just a non riding, week of suck.

Later.

Anger Management

2009-11-22T17:36:00.004-05:00

OK , I'm not angry, but I have been sort of feeling like a curt asshole. And not for my normal reasons of just being a sort of a socially inept Larry David-esque idiot. I have a toothache. Correction, I have a motherf*cking hurts like a beeeeeeeotch toothache. Started about a week ago and gets worse every day. Called my dentist on Friday and the soonest I can get in is Wednesday. Yikes!! Nothing helps it. Except some sort of weird breathing through my lower teeth thing that makes me look half retarded/half like a serial killer. And beer. Beer sort of helps. But if the beer is focusing all it's attention to killing pain, how is going to do it's REAL job of making me feel "whole and complete?" I'm kidding, people, relax.

"I can’t stand the sound of the human voice, that’s all…"
-Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Episode #64

The legs felt like two cold slabs of rotten beef yesterday, so I aborted a ride today. Probably not a good move given that this week will have few riding opportunities. B-Man is off school most of the week, Wifey is working most of the week, I have parent/teacher conferences, the weather looks shit, Thanksgiving to cook, and a tooth to get pulled, filled, capped, etc., etc., Maybe it would be best to just call this week the "last week of the year" with 2010 starting NEXT week. Then I can focus on trying to work my way up to mediocre again and TRY (with the Grace of God and two fingers down my throat inspired eating disorder) to creep down from Clydesdale Class.

On a good note, here is a shot of the new XXC shirts that will soon be available....

My buddy DPOW (as he's now known as Thanks to Brad) is the first to own one. I think that HE thinks they'll be worth something, and he's going to sell it on eBay, but sadly they will probably be a heather gray reminder of the mag that almost was. Kidding of course, I'm here until the last credit card is maxed out. The shirts will be available real soon, along with Issue #5. Stay tuned.

Later.

A Short 25 Miles?

2009-11-21T18:09:00.000-05:00

The thing that always amazes me about digging long races and long rides is the fact that a day spent in the mountains riding 25 miles, much of it either straight up a f*cking hill and/or on dirt of various widths can seem short. Freaky.

Annnnyway, DPOW and I headed up to ride some mountain dirt. Once again Don crushed it on his El Mariachi single speed, and I did my best to keep up with him. We started right off with single track, which helped us warm up quick in the chilly 48* mountain air. Most of Lookout Loop was just perfect, then we crossed Jones and climbed single track the whole way back up to Fire Tower. Then RIGHT back down on Cherry. More dirt, more ups, more down, yada, yada, yada- we ended up at the base of Seven Springs on the back side.

We then climbed at 4 to 7 mph the same hill we both bombed down last Saturday at 43+ mph. I guess it was the mountain's way of keeping us humble. Don claimed that he had to get off and walk the last few feet to the top, but my aging ass was way off the back spinning up, so he might just be trying to make me feel good.

We hit a few miles of the Seven Springs 24 course, and then took the forest roads back over towards Route 31. Neither of us were really feeling an epic today, and were both pretty content to call it at 25 miles. We had done some nice climbing, got in some nice single track, and spend a couple and a half hours on our bikes. What else could we ask for? OK, sure skankless strippers, good beer, a Jack and Coke or two for Don and some warmer temps would have been nice, but c'mon, it's the "off season."

Took my camera, but for one of the first times this year, I never took it out. Just pedaled. The ride was fun enough.

Stopped in Pro Bikes after the ride. Jason asked if I had anymore XXC stickers, 'cause they're just about out and completely out of the "fun hurts" stickers. Sweet.

Gotta split. Chill time.

Later.

So Little, But So Much...

2009-11-19T20:30:00.002-05:00

So I did no riding today, and even if I did, who gives two shits? What I did do is get word that the new XXC shirts are done and I can pick up tomorrow. I also got a shit load done on some really cool pieces for the next issue of XXC.

I'm getting a bit closer to making a commitment for Southern Cross in January with Das Schmalz, but I still need to firm up some logistics with B-Man, his school, and Wifey before I can commit to 10+ hours of driving, 50+ miles of racing and nearly 8,000' of sick ass Georgia climbing.

A ride will probably elude me tomorrow, but will be made up for on Saturday with DPOW as we head to the mountains to get him closer to 2010 WVMBA Expert Vet domination and me closer to a f*cking heart attack.

The best news in the past two days was completely NON bike related and had me getting hold not only of two rare, much sought after Morrisssey tracks, but a rare demo version of Rubber Ring by The Smiths. Dear God, they're gooooood.

Time to go get my mope on.

Later.

Take me over there, Drop me ANYWHERE,
Liverpool, Leeds, or Birmingham, well, I don't care!

The Touch The Feel of Single Track

2009-11-18T16:50:00.004-05:00

It's been ages since I've taken the time to go to Boyce to ride. Most of the summer the trails were overgrown and as slippery as a newly formed dog turd due to the constant rains of the Worst Summer Ever 2009. Then I got used to using that 50 minutes (25 minutes each way) in the car to ride my bike, and turned my road loop into multi surfaced 3 hour loop that I would do on knobbies. But after not riding Monday, and aborting my ride yesterday before my cheeks hit the saddle, I knew I needed dirt. Not pavement, not gravel, not double track (not that there's anything wrong with that), but twisty, tighter than a scared rat's anus single track. Boyce would be the ticket.

Time was a factor due to a production at B-Man's school where we would see him and his kindergarten class bust some karate moves and do dance production where they would sing a song in Portuguese. (This is SO not the sort of kindergarten I went to, THANK GOD!).

Anyway, back to my ride. It was short, but it was 98% single track, with plenty roots, twists and turns to keep me happy. The ride always give plenty of log piles too, including one up hill one (in my direction) near the sign where Washington crossed the Delaware, or got shot, or whatever, that I of course biffed on. Got my big wheel up over it and then got hung up, then a slow speed tip over into the sticks. It reeked of "Fred."

Every time I ride a place like Boyce it makes me wish that I still had one of my 26" wheeled bikes. I miss the way my 26er handled in the tight ass turns and how you could accelerate JUST a bit quicker out of them. A better cornerer may not notice, but I am a notoriously bad cornerer, and the 29" wheels don't help. Having said that for 80% of my riding the 29er is perfect for me. The option I had in 2006, was nice when I was switching between the full suspension El Santo and the Dos Niner. Anyway, the ride was great, not sure how I got off talking about bikes... oh yeah, this a bike blog, and I ride bikes. LOL!

The trails were in great shape and my legs felt good from the 2 day rest. Sometimes I think they KNOW when you're not going to have a long time to ride, and just feel spank-tastic. If I would have had all day to futz around, they would have felt like two dead pigs attached to my hips.

Fast paced, busy day of riding, family stuff, and little mag work done. Need to make up for that tomorrow, and NOW I want to go make some Pesto and chicken. Or SOMETHING before I eat my hand.

Later.

Kitted Up And Nowhere To Go

2009-11-17T20:25:00.004-05:00

I was in full kit, bottles ready, and good to go. And then I aborted the ride. I just couldn't. Riding has been coming in some nice all day binges lately, but now there is a serious amount of words and pics coming in for XXC #5, and truth be told, I'm pretty excited and a bit anxious to work on them. I know I wouldn't have really enjoyed the ride, knowing that there was a hard drive full of words and photos waiting to hit the digital press.

For today, a pic from Sunday will have to do. Maybe tomorrow afternoon I'll get out for a bit, but I'm not too worried about it. The weekend, will be here soon, as will time saddle time and time to explore some new to me trails and roads in the mountains.

Later.

Double Dipping

2009-11-15T19:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's ride with DPOW just wasn't enough. I mean it's November and Ma Nature is putting out in the form of warm temps like a Prom Queen hopped up on Rohypnol and wine coolers.

So it goes without saying that I could not keep myself away from the mountain. I put all the non practicing Catholic guilt associated with not going out to visit my Dad aside and went to the mountain for a double dip of mountain riding.

I knew after yesterday's ride, the legs were just not gonna be the same, but I still had a blast. I only did about 24 miles, but most of it was single track, double track today, or straight UPPP hill on some forest roads. I think I was on pavement for about 200 yards all day.

The leaves were loud and crunchy, the temps were autumnal and perfect, and I once again rode the mountain, knowing full well that in a weeks time there could be snow were I was riding. And that's fine by me. I love the freakishly warm temps and the chance to ride 13ish hours this week in freaking November, but I am also down with the rules of nature and know full well that it needs to snow and rain now.
The mountain needs to have their blanket of white to saturate the ground and to keep businesses like Seven Springs going. If those businesses go away, races go away, land is sold, creeps buy said land, places to ride go away, and life sucks. SO, while I hope to get a few more rides in this year, I am also fine with letting nature have it's way.

Today I hit up Lookout Loop near Hidden Valley, then up Red Oak to Beltz, and down into the land of vacant Boy Scout cabins. Then forest roads to Martz/Pump House and up Ridge to Jones, and then climbed Pritts Distillery Road to some of the Seven Springs single track.

I did some of that, and then rode forest roads and Fire Tower back to 31 and the xB. The ride sort of packed it all into 24 miles, and gave me some good ideas for next week's ride (I hope).

I got about 6 hours of riding in, in two days, and the is NO way i can bitch about that. Today the single track was boss, and it was a nice break from yesterday's forest road/pavement binge. There was still a lot of climbing, but more dirt, more roots, and more rocks. The constant crunch of leaves was a bit maddening, but is to be expected this time of year.

So ends a great weekend of mountain biking. If the winter rains and snow come tomorrow I can rest easy knowing I took full advantage of Ma Nature's gifts of dirty pleasure. As luck would have it though, it looks like we may be in store for at least another few days of pretty OK weather.

Hope you all got some miles in this weekend too. No ride tomorrow, I have a TON of work to do. Time to get my design freak on.

Later.

Sort of the loop

2009-11-14T18:44:00.003-05:00

I had a plan. For the most part the plan worked. I spent some of Friday piecing together what I hoped would be a TRUE forest road loop, not the loop that I CALL a forest road loop (for some reason), but is at least half single track and rocky double track. My reasoning is that I want a killer monster cross-esque loop to do when the trails are just too frigin' muddy to be fun.

So I figured I would take advantage of the freakishly warm as the inside of a fat mans thighs (me?) November temps to piece together and explore the loop. DPOW joined me to help navigate and make me feel like a slowing, aging, Lycra expanding old man, by blowing by me and hammering up the climbs on his El Mariachi single speed, whilst I spun up behind him sick to death of looking at his tattooed legs and Twin Six shorted ass.

The loop I mapped out is 51 miles, with 4,700' of climbing. I know the second half of the loop so the plan was today was to explore the FIRST half which is roughly 31 miles. So from Rt. 31, Don and I headed over towards Seven Springs, rode down, down, down, down, down, down, down to some pavement, and the proceeded to have to climb back up ALLLLLL of that "I just hit 41 MPH on my mountain bike" descending.

Every so often we of course would have to stop to consult the maps, and make sure we weren't going to end up in Anal Fornication, Egypt (I can't wait to see the Google hits I get from the using the term "Anal Fornication." The pavement section we dropped down to lasted a little longer than either of us really were diggin', but at least it was UP, excuse me I mean UPPPPPPP! So it was challenging. One particular switch back had me thinking that I had indeed ended up in A.F., Egypt since I was being violated by the tip of my saddle in JUST such a way.

After passing several camouflaged men with weapons, a few dogs tied to trees, and a leaf burn or two, the pavement ended and the "ballz" of the ride started (when you read "ballz" could you please cup your hand as if grabbing a set of said dangling appendages? Thanks, it makes for a better read).

We climbed more. And then more. And then a little more, but then got to bomb down hill at some sick ass speeds. Then we had to stop to consult the map. The map was consulted, but gave us shit in return. So we took off, found our way no problem, but then need to stop to consult said shit direction giving map again. Don figured out where we were to go, but sadly where we went was a f*cking UP hill gas well road that if nothing else let me see Don have to walk the E.M. for the first time. Damn. So BACK down we went, consulted more maps, and found our way again. A nice undulating up hill towards Seven Springs.

Soon it was another sick 40+ mph downhill and a slight climb to County Line Road and then Jones Mill back to Route 31 and the xB.

Sure we got lost a time or two, it wasn't all dirt, or single track, but it was tough. With a LOT of climbing. I am by no means elven in stature, or skinny assed, like a great climber, but SOMETHING about climbing makes a ride for me. Some dudes are into technical, rocky single track, or killer down hills, but when I can piece a ride together that hurts like a bitch even when the trail is a 5 foot wide forest road, I feel my work is done.

While the ride was NOT a true mountain bike epic like last week's 40 mile bonk fest, that resulted in me in bed at about 8 p.m. on a Saturday, ruining Arron's Sunday road ride, and MAYBE contributed to Don ending up in hospital on morphine with kidneys stones ripped through his urethra, it was STILL a great ride with a lot of potential.

If I can figure out how to edit out the prolonged road sections the ride would be better. I also may need to figure out a way to ditch the FIRST Seven Springs section, since Don reminded me that the forest road were on, pretty much goes straight across the slopes and will be covered in masturbatory snow (my name for man made snow) until f*cking April.

The ride ended with 35+ miles due to getting sort of lost, and a ton of climbing. I think I MAY have even got a bit of sun burn. In NOVEMBER!!! I LOVE IT!! I have NO idea why people are so down on global warming? F*ck it. I want warm winter temps and year 'round riding. Plus I have a feeling I'll be lucky if I see 50, what do I care?? I'm kidding of course (sort of), but I do love me some 75* November riding.

After the ride, Don and I headed to Pro Bikes where I dropped off some wheels to get attention, and to talk to my fave bike shop staff in the wold. Timmy, Ralph and Jason. I also dropped some XXC stickers at the shop for them and anyone that wonders in. Tim was stoked and immediately put some on his roof rack. And he was pretty atimate (in that Tim "way", you have to know the dude) that folks are into the mag, and want to know when there' going to be a printed version. I wish I could have told him that there would be one soon, but print costs an ass load of cash, that I don't have. My plan (and there will be more on this later) is to try to raise some cash through downloads and XXC swag over the winter and hit the ground in the big ring with a printed version in the spring. Just in time for race season and complete and utter domination of the endurance race mag scene. Wait, XXC IISSSSSSSSSS the endurance race mag scene!! Yeah, that's right! LOL!

Big thanks to DPOW for some map reading (even though he made me climb that shit for nothing), and for waiting at the top of the climbs for me. It was nice to share the ride with a fellow dirt worshipper.

Time to do what post ride Saturday's are made for. Drink a perfect amount of beer (Victory Hop Devil, thank you) and make some kick as grub (Italian Turkey Sausage Pasta Bake, with a gluten free version for Wifey).

Later.

A.M. EDIT: re-mapped the actual ride from Saturday. It's HERE's the course from Saturday....

DPOW/Mahokey Forest Road Loop Part I
Find more Bike Rides in Champion, Pennsylvania

Thursday The Twellpht

2009-11-12T20:33:00.001-05:00

Crisp. Crispy. Chilly. Nip. Sunny, clear, and the average temperature of a bosomy bare chested WICCA convention. Call it what you want, I'll call it a chilly, but perfect day for a 3 hour ride. 'Cause it 'twas.

Hit a bunch of slow ass climbs, rail trail, and roads on the Mamasita, and put in a nice ride. Having a pretty good week (for me) on the bike with about 7+ hours in. Tomorrow is No Ride Do Some F*cking Work Then Have A Few Beers Friday, but the weekend will offer up some long miles in the form of exploring some un-ridden mountain forest roads. Might suck, might be great, but whatever it is, it will most likely get me in double digits for the week. Not bad for freaking November in my little butt cleft of the world.

Finished watching Into The Wild today. Great book, good movie, and just as depressing as the book. Makes one think that some people are meant to be on the earth for just a short while, change some lives and move on. The saddest thing about the movie/book was that while he was indeed exercising (EDIT: I mean exorcising, DOH!) some inner demons, it did seem as if he knew his destiny for some time. Made it almost like a long drawn out suicide, thus containing a large element of selfishness and disregard for those he touched deeply, even though he probably attained incredible peace from his journey and ultimate death. Just sayin'.

Tired. Need to chill.

Later.

Mistakes

2009-11-11T20:57:00.003-05:00

Tonight I made the mistake of sitting around looking at iPhotos from the past year. Season over, I'm 10 lbs.+ heavier, winter approaches and racing is done for the year. My "job" for the first time in my life is exactly what I want. But there are some small changes to that are coming with that that I hope work out, and people are cool with. I want to make XXC a long term thing, and a small step towards that needs to happen with the next issue.

No use getting too into it now, 'cause a bunch of work needs to be done on Issue #5 first. Each issue gets a little better, as far as content, and #5 is going to have at least 2 or 3 articles and interviews that I'm really stoked on. One is with a super nice, kick ass pro in the endurance race scene and the other is from an equally as cool, equally as nice solo national champion. Talking and corresponding with these folks make what I'm trying to do seem so right and so natural. It also made me realize yet again, that for the most part the endurance race community is made up of some damn super cool folks. Glad to be a part of it.

But no use worrying about too much now, or lamenting my winter layer. There's work to be done on many fronts. I need to get some goals. I think I may have found it. We'll see.

Later.

Organ Sounds

2009-11-10T19:14:00.004-05:00

I was working on the organ sounds with much patience.

Pumped out some pages the first part of today, then got my shit together and hit a 35 mile loop. Legs felt pretty good once I got them warmed up and hit a bunch of red neck roads and shit roads.

I realized once again today it's been since August that I rode my road bike. WTF?? That is not to say that I haven't been riding on the road (as you all know), just not on my road bike. I love my road bike, but I've got so used to riding my Mamasita, that I don't even think about my Campeon. Not sure what the deal is? It could be that I enjoy the warm up/cool down on the rail trail, it could be that I've been incorporating all those crap roads, or it could be that I love all the options that riding my mountain bike gives me. No road is too crap or hill too steep and no potential poached piece of dirt goes unridden. Of course it COULD be that I'm a nasty ass creature of habit. And my current habit is riding my mountain bike on the road. Strange.

Watched Red Light Go today. Not bad, but not really my scene. I would have dug it more if they were on mounain bikes riding in the woods. But not sure there is much of a need for bike messengers there, or if there are many "alley cats" to race. Of course the sound of a 40 mile, mountain alley cat, sounds pretty good, eh?

Later.

Ridden

2009-11-09T20:17:00.002-05:00

I was anxious and happy to get back on the bike after yesterday's non-ride and Saturday's epic which ended with an epic bonk. I was feeling a little stiff, so I as happy to spin along for a while before the hills started. But then the legs loosened up and I felt great. Found a new way to loop some road together today and the end result will be more time, and more miles for me in the future. That's always a killer feeling. It's better when it's more DIRT miles, but I'll take what I can get, when I can get it. I was also stoked to be getting 35 road miles in, only adding arm warmers and a base layer to the normal kit, especially since it's freaking November!

Anyway, gotz to go finish up some work. Funny how I don't mind working after 8 p.m. on a Monday, when it's something Ilove. Of course it's also easier knowing that I spent over two hours of my "work day" out on my bike. LOL!

Later.

Filled With Horse Pooed Water

2009-11-08T17:05:00.006-05:00

Woke up a bit run down from yesterday's bonk on the mountain, but with temps looking good, I figured I would at least spin some back roads out by my Dad's digz. Then I realized that I failed to get my wet and muddy shoes out of my bike box after yesterday's ride. They were still filled with mud, poo, and water. Frig. Forget the ride, I wasn't that into it anyway.

So the day was spent chillin' and raking leaves with B-Man and my Dad. It was relaxing and I still got to be outside and enjoy the freakishly warm November temps. Weather looks good again tomorrow, so I hope to get out somewhere for some ride time. For all the bitching I did this week about my lack of riding, I actually ended up with close to 10 hours of riding. Not bad.

So I'm peeping CyclingNews.com and I see the headline: Vande Velde supports Giro d'Italia visit to Washington, DC

I should preface this by saying I'm NO big fan of change and disrupting tradition. Example: In my opinion there should be NO such thing as Inter League Baseball (for my foreign friends, that is when the American and National League play each other in games DURING the season) The ONLY time the AL and NL should face off is at the All Star Game and the World Series. PERIOD!!!

So you have to expect that I would be outraged that the Giro would come to the U.S.. Go ahead, give me the "good for U.S. cycling" bull shit. I don't care. The Giro takes place in Italy. In Europe. It belongs to them. That would be like the Super Bowl being played in Rome. Why???

90% of Americans believe that cycling is a fringe sport (if a sport at all), and we'll be lucky if that number EVER gets lower. Euro fans LIVE for it. I don't want cycling to be considered a side show/human interest sport. I want it to be known for what it truly is. Should the Tour of Cali go to Madrid? NO! It should be in California. Shit, I'm outraged by this and I'm and American, can you IMAGINE what Italian cycling fans must think about the Giro organizers thinking of taking THEIR race to the U.S.???

If the U.S. were in the E.U. and we bordered Italy and the race could come across the border- FINE, but across the f*cking OCEAN??? For real??

Dumb, just f*cking dumb.

Sorry for the rant. But it IS DUMB!!

Later.

Bonking My Own Loop

2009-11-07T21:14:00.001-05:00

Went up to the mountain today to do my big ass 40 mile loop with Aaron and Don. Dudes are super fast (I am not), but it's still always nice to ride with them.

You would have never known it was November on the mountain if it wasn't for some snow here and there and the fact that the trees were balder than a super models anorexic buttocks. The temps were warm and the sun was bright, what else could you ask for?

Well I guess I COULD have asked for a little more power to get through the leaf covered trails that were sporting a thin to thick layer of mud underneath and hidden rocks everywhere. Damn, each new section was sucking power from my legs like a Vegas hooker.

If you look close you can see two tiny specks off in the distance. That's Aaron and Don. They are still riding with great fitness left from a season of XC and a fall with numerous cross races. I on the other hand was riding the low of a fall spent curled up with too many beers, too much cheese, and an open and fully drained can of Suck®.

On the way up to North Woods on Tunnel Road I heard Don scream something back. I had now idea what he said, but something in my gut told me he spied some undies on the road. So as I pedaled up a steep ass, 20% plus grade at 4 mph, I of COURSE felt the need to put a foot down for the express purpose of adding to the Western PA Roadside Undie Photo Collection.

These were some big ass Granny Panties. Damn! Some full figured gal is out there right now lettin' her junk air out real good. I just don't get it!

Aaron was running out of water so he took advantage of some snow patches to add some H20 to his CamelBack. This I allowed, but put my mud gobbed cleated foot down when he wanted to fill up his pack in the stream along Mountain Streams Trail. I reminded him of the large amounts of deer, bear, and horse shit that is surely in the streams water and that he would be flirting with a night or two spent hovering his skinny ass above a shitter.

Fill 'er up.

Coming down the mountain via Mountain Streams hurt. Eeesh. The trail was completely covered by leaves, big honking hunks of rock underneath and sticks just waiting to rip a derailleur off. Don had no problem hurling himself down it on his newly acquired Salsa El Mariachi rigid single speed. It was f*cking impressive as hell!!

Once at the bottom things started getting a bit worse. Parts of the trail drain poorly and were made even worse by the tire sucking 9" deep hoof prints. Damn, parts had me giving it all I got (and that ain't much!) to go 5 or 6 mph on a false flat. It was demoralizing.

By the time we started the final climb of the day on Camp Run Road I was spent. My back hurt from trying to power through all that mud, I was out of water, and out of gel. I still had 3 to 4 miles of climbing ahead of me. Don and Aaron were heading up and out of sight. I Bonked with a a capital B. I've done this loop before in dry conditions with little problem. Today, I was unprepared for the effort that I would need to put out, not only on the climbs but even on the flats. I only took two bottles and 1 gel flask. It's sad but true. I bonked on MY loop. Fail.

I actually had to get off and push for bit. It was pathetic. I've never walked more than a few feet of this climb before. I've never been so happy to reach the Fern Mountain "mountain community" a sight that usually saddens me. But today I was just happy to know that only a mile or two of forest road separated me from the xB, some water and a place to sit my tired ass down.

40 miles, 4:40 of ride time, but the ride was probably closer to 5+ hours with stops. I'm pretty sure D&A could have done the ride in about 3+ hours for sure. Seems like they dug the loop with the new additions, and had a good time.

I was hurting by the end, hurting bad. But it felt great and was a blast. And like I've said before, this time of year every ride on the mountain is a gift. Soon those spots of snow will be more numerous, and in the form of "blankets", and the temps will be as cold as a gaggle of witch tits.

Stopped on the way home for some RC, some water, and a lack luster pepperoni roll. Then hurled my muddied, tired ass home to see B-Man and Wifey, drink a couple Stouts and cook up some Mexican grub.

Later.

Now That Feels Better

2009-11-06T17:16:00.000-05:00

Doc appointment was aces. Once again the Doppler chick was a little overly concerned (better than be UNconcerned) about the remnants of my former DVT. My doc even consulted with a vascular surgeon about it and she said I'm good to go. So NO FREAKING BLOOD THINNERS! SWEET! And I'm edging closer to once a year visits to the doc for this rather than every three months.

I was pretty stoked, as you can imagine, so as soon as I got home I said "ballz to work" and got kitted up for a 2 hours spin of my knobs on the road. Felt great. Crisp fall air, sun, and the promise of some 5:01 PM Sierra Nevada Stout.

Good news, good ride, good beer, good food to come and if the start align just right a crime wave breaks out later and Wifey and I are called into action. Not to mention the weather looks titz tomorrow and I'm heading to the mountain with a couple of my peeps for a 40 miler.

T shirt order was made today, and will be available in December along with the new mag. I also worked out a deal with Chamois Butt'r where buyers will get a couple packets of Chamois Butt'r with their T Shirt purchase. The tag line of the shirt is "xxcmag.com, inspiring saddle sores since 2009." Get it? XXC inspires and Chamois Butt'r will give you some butt'r to prevent. I also got the word that my stickers will be in this time next week, so that's yet another push in the ass towards world domination XXC style.

Speaking of world domination... There's really nothing funnier than laughing at a tyrant/murderer of millions/freak right? (note sarcasm, please!). Anyway, I still find myself laughing at this...

It's after 5. Time for a Stout.

Later.