Vincent C. Donnachie

I Miss the Woods

2009-02-27T10:49:00.005-05:00

Much of my childhood revolved around my grandmother's home in Clementon, NJ. She lived at the end of a dead end street and within a few feet of her door laid a magical land that included little people, a witch's home and an area where robots were made near a lake.

While obviously all of these things were not real (they were though to my young mind as well as the minds of my siblings and cousin), there will real things about the woods that were just as magical. For example, Al Capone had one his many hideouts deep in the woods which is still a mansion of sorts to this day and as recently as my teen years, was occupied by what what most consider to be mafia. One of the most exclusive golf courses in the world is also deep in the woods were the very wealthy or famous were brought in by helicopter. It is a place that includes real names like "Spider's Cover" and "Apple Lake" and some of the best sledding hills I ever experienced including "Wiggly Waggly" and "Suicide 1 & 2." The train that past through the woods carried green glass marbles that would be melted down to make various glass objects and as you walked along the tracks, you could sometimes come away with a bag full of them.

Since my grandmother passed away close to 8 years ago, I have not been back in those woods. My own boys have never been down there nor have seen or experienced much of the magic I did as a child. Today, it is so easy to stay indoors with video games and TVs. When we do go outside, we tend to go to well-laid out public parks with nice landscaping and safe play ground equipment. The wild and the unpredictable is not experienced much by my boys like it was for me.

I thank God for places that are around the area I live, like old 82 (which my boys refer to as "Adventure Highway") in which I can introduce some of those things to my kids.
And as I think about what is lost in the midst of our world, I intend to do more of these things this Spring. I want to recapture that forgotten time and set the stage for my kids to experience them in their own way. I will take them to more places that are unexpected and wild. I will even take them for at least one trip down my grandmother's woods in NJ. And if I am honest about it all, it won't just be for them.

I am so, so thankful for the memories I have from those woods. I am hoping that I will not find them to be overcome by developments.

Unity

2009-02-26T13:06:00.003-05:00

I just left a meeting of Reading city pastors and came away thankful for the unity that would be unthinkable years ago.

I served with the Assemblies of God for almost 15 years in full time ministry before I came to serve at Hopewell Christian Fellowship for the last 4 years. Hopewell has it's roots in the Mennonite denomination and now is a non-denominational church that has a mix of those that have come from a charismatic background, some from Catholic churches, others from Baptist and still others from Lutheran, Presbyterian, Brethren and more. Things you will not see or hear at Hopewell often is people praying in tongues, dancing during worship, people falling down in the midst of prayer and much of the military type imagery that seems to permeate charismatic prayer times.

I have realized through these years that much of the charismatic experience is still in my blood. At the same time though, truth be told, I had been pulling away from much of the charismatic expression for years before I left the Assemblies. People who know me, will not hear me use much of the language that is used in such circles. I am a bit apprehensive when people use such language in public, because it smacks of a subculture that is only understood by those that are deeply entrenched in it. It is assumed by those who are in it, that it is a normal way to speak, but it is not. People have no context in their day to day lives to relate such spiritual speak and I think God wants our faith to be very real and relatable to our normal lives. I also have a problem with the fact that (and this is only my observation), it seems to create people that are always looking for the next "high," or touch of God. People often judge a good service by the sensational outward appearances and if they do not see or feel these things, than they wrongly conclude that God was not present. God speaks in a still small voice and beyond this, the Word tells us that if are to know God - it comes through being still and silent.

Having said that, I cannot deny the power of God that I experienced when I was filled with the Spirit of God. I believe that people do receive a heavenly language, that healings and deliverances do take place. More than this, those that are most passionate about the lost and demonstrate a constant hunger for God are consistently those that are pentecostal.

If you cannot tell by now, I seem to be a contradiction. I don't believe I am though. I am a charismatic pentecostal person who also beleives in stillness and quiet and thinks that the gospel does in fact have a social aspect to it and while I long for new expressions of the church, I have a great respect for the historical church.

In the church world, there has been a huge divide between pentecostal/charismatic churches and the more mainline liberal churches. Recently, there exists additional divides with the growth of the Emergent movement. In my heart, I have always been a mix of all of these influennces and wished so badly that churches could focus on THE things that really matters - Christ crucified, burried, resurected and imparting His Spirit to His followers to now be the church. These are truths about which all pentecostal, mainline and emergent churches would agree.

All of that to say, this morning was one of the few times I had a small taste of that. Various pastors from various backgrounds being real and transparent about their struggles personally and with their churches and then going to God and crying out for more of Him to empower their efforts to build His church for His glory. All divides dissapeared and it was obvious to see that unity is trully a beautiful thing. And for this, I am trully thankful.

Mario Cart

2009-02-25T14:57:00.003-05:00

OK, so not every Wednesday will I have something to whine about that everyone can relate to nor will it always seem of weighty importance in the scheme of our lives. Today is one of those Wednesdays.

Any Wii Mario Cart lovers out there? I have a serious love/hate relationship with this game and by that I mean 5% love, 95% hate. The play of the game has the ability to push the exact button in my personality that causes me to yell and grunt at the screen. My wife and 2 boys beat me almost every single time and not just by a little. It does not matter if I make it to 1st place for 2 laps, inevitably, someone will hit me with a series of red shell, green shell, bomb and then I'll hit a banana and watch everyone pass me to the finish line. This does not just happen on rare occasion, this almost every game. I feel like Charlie Brown on Christmas when he did not receive any cards and he tells Linus "I don't know why we have to celebrate Christmas. I already know no one like me, why we do have to have a holiday to emphasise it?" I already doubt my abilities when it comes to many competitions, why do I have to keep playing a game to emphasise it?

I am convinced the game is satanic. It's purpose is to show me that no matter how far ahead I get in life, someone is just waiting to clobber me and spin me into confusion, leaving me alone and in the dust. My conclusion after every game is; 'to try is useless.' And yet, I keep coming back for more like an addict, like I need to prove to myself that I just had a bad day the last game. This game will be different.

Get thee behind me Mario. I will not succumb to your crushing blows. You will no longer make me doubt my judgement and abilities. I will not play your evil game again. At least not until Thursday.

Love is In the Air

2009-02-22T10:07:00.006-05:00

I know that February has come and gone but it seems that March is the month of love for me. I will be speaking on the subject of being "Lovesick" at a men's retreat for my church, "Loving Your Wife" on a Sunday coming up and how to cultivate a "romantic" relationship with God at the next Encounter.

As I prepare for what may seem like a month of mushiness, I can tell you that love is so not what it was in my mind as a teen and young man. Wow, I just used the words "young man." That is a new mile marker for me. Anyway, back then, any action of love was born out of the feelings of love. I spent time with God and told Him I loved Him only when I felt it. I honored and performed thoughtful acts for my girlfriend (who became my wife) only when I was overcome by happy feelings of having her in my life.

Maturity demands that at some point, loving actions come from pure decision. At times, we are blessed enough to be overcome by the feelings of love, but these are born out of a very unromantic decision to act. We no longer need the emotions to motivate or reward us. Love that remains unspoken or not acted upon is not truly love for love is as love does. No matter what we say we feel, no matter how pure we say our thoughts are - it is in action that love is proven.

Relational Grace

2009-01-05T12:44:00.008-05:00

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." writes Paul in 1 Co 13.

I will not bore you with all the details of my growth in God. Suffice to say that from the time I first put my my life in the hands of Christ as a teenager till now as I approach my 40th birthday, my views of God have greatly changed, deepened, and expanded.

A few years from now, I will be growing in a different area than where I am at now. Each area is a new area of growth, truth on top of truth, revealing a little more of a Great God.

You and I are on a journey. Your understanding of who God is now and how He relates to humanity is different than it was probably 10 years ago. Your understanding is deeper, more full, more clear, yet far more mystified. The more you learn of God, the less confident you feel in your knowledge. Paul continues in the next verse, 12 of 1 Co "Now we see but a poor reflection; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; than I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

Those that we are walking with in this life are all on their own journeys and need the grace to fully be where they are at on that journey. Where you are at in your understanding of God is divinely orchestrated as He uses the various circumstances in your particular life to impact your intellect and your emotions. To assume that our words alone will automatically bring another person to the exact spot we are in our understanding is naive and arrogant.

I am not suggesting that we not share from our journey; we should do so and often. But we should not have expectations of people as if our understanding at this given moment is thee conclusion that all should arrive at and do so in when we think best. What you and I think regarding God now is a fraction of who He actually is and how He works.

As Jesus responded to Peter, I believe He would respond to any of us who lack such grace. In John 21, Peter is asking the risen Christ what will become of the disciple John to which Jesus answered "...what is that to you? You must follow me."

I am learning still, even after all these years in ministry - that God's people are...well...God's people and He is a much better teacher than I. God has set the stage for growth with just the right nutrients. As the church of Christ, we often act as impatient gardeners, pulling out the first sign of stalks and leaves, mistaking signs of life to mean it is ready for harvest, often forgetting that God alone makes the seed grow (1 Co 3:6).

Massing

2008-05-03T12:42:00.004-05:00

After many months, The Mass returned last night. This is one of the few gatherings that I and a small group of others feel that we need to put on even if no one except us showed up. Personally I get so weary of the typical services of churches and even of messages which I know seems like a contradiction because I am, in fact a pastor. I have lived with this inconsistency for 17 years of full time ministry now.

A service like The Mass is a place that feels set apart, with many voices -not just one, and with art and space and room to think and worship. Ahhhhh. Anyway, we took The Mass outside of the church walls ("and right inside the walls of Christian bookstore" as one on The Mass team likes to point out) and had it in a rather cool little room at Gravity Books and Art in Exeter Twp. The room was full which was an added bonus. And even though we had a few technical problems, all and all - the night was great.

After the gathering was done, a group of about 20 or so went out to eat for 1/2 price appetizers, hung out and enjoyed one another's company. I am so glad for a gathering like this, for real relationships and I am even more thankful for the team that has stuck with it now for 2 years. You are a creative and helpful group of friends.

The only downside to the night is that my wife could not be present. But a baby girl is worth that I guess.

Evan Sits

2008-05-03T10:38:00.004-05:00

Early this past Saturday morning my wife and my oldest son went out to spend very little money on great used stuff (yard sales). They are good at this. Within an hour, my wife returned with a treadmill (which she was preparing to buy new) in great shape that she purchased for $25.

Anyway, while they were out and the baby was asleep still, Evan (my other son) just woke and came to sit at the kitchen table where I was drinking coffee and reading. It took about 1/2 hour before I realized he was still sitting there, quietly, with a slight grin. Never said anything. Just sat there.

"What the heck is this kid doing?" I thought to myself. I wanted to tell him "go do something Ev, like watch TV, read a book, play outside - anything but sit there and stare." This what I wanted to say but I didn't. It occurred to me that Evan really loves just being near me. He is content not to say anything (of course this happens easily when the gears in his head are not quite turning in the morning), but just to sit in the proximity of where I am. He often does this. He will sit on the floor near where I am or lay on top of me while I am watching TV.

Although I am an affectionate person, I also like my space and there are many times, when I wish I had it when I don't. But I also know these are the exact moments that I will miss the most some day and that will make my heart ache a little in wishing I could have them back.

And then I thought of this same posture pleases Christ when I remember to do nothing and just to BE with Him. Smiling. Simplicity. Just to be near Him. Like the story of Mary & Martha which seems to grow more and more important as technological advances continue to "save us time," I want to choose what is better, which is simply to waste time with my God.

I Have Become...Regular

2008-05-03T10:22:00.005-05:00

I am simply not a good blogger. I feel that I have nothing to write unless I am struck by something that causes me meditate or pray. And the problem is with this is that I preach and teach for a profession and so most of these thoughts end up being developed and have their outlet in those forums. This blog keeps getting less than left overs.

I am hereby giving up the need to write deep things. The blogs I enjoy the most are the ones that are made up of the trivial stuff of peoples living and the insights that are sometimes gained along the way. So, from now on I am going to write about the ordinary stuff of my life. Instead of only feeling like I can write when I have something profound to say, I will write in a way that reflects who I am, which like you, is a mix of many things all at once. No pressure darn it! Just natural writing about mundane things.

Exciting isn't it? Here I go...

Unveiled

2008-03-17T12:15:00.006-05:00

As Easter approaches, I was reading Matthew 27:50-53 and thinking about the incident of the veil's tearing right after Jesus breathed his last and the significance it has to Christ followers today.

The huge, thick and beautiful curtain that was torn from the top down, served to divide the thick presence of God known as the most holy of places or the Holy of Holies from ordinary people. It was a dark place that spoke of the mystery of God and could not be approached accept once a year by the high priests and only after a blood sacrifice was made. A reading of Hebrews 9 gives the theological understanding of the fact that Christ blood sacrifice opened wide the most holy of places to all who believe.

This access to the presence of God is something that we so easily can take for granted in our day to day lives. Yet, most of what we long for is found in the awareness of it.

This story really started back with Adam and Eve. They lived with a constant knowledge of this good, perfect, safe, awesome, mysterious and loving presence of God. It was to them as natural as any element of life - air, water, or food. When sin was welcomed, it was not God that hid from humanity, but humanity that hid from God. It was not God that withdrew His presence, but we who withdrew from knowing it.

This was the turning point in our history. Without a knowledge of the prefect presence of God – man began to murder, steel, lie, cheat, to hurt others, to start wars.

When we think of the atrocities of this world and the incredible sufferings of humanity, we are sometimes tempted to ask the question, "where was God?"

He has not gone anywhere. He never left. Fallen man cannot recognize the presence and so we often are not capable of operating within the goodness & mercy of it. The result is legions of people who are fractured and who struggle and endure great strife for identity and meaning in this world.

Our identity is wrapped up into the identity of God. When we are not aware of His presence, we are not aware of Him. When we don’t know who God is, we don’t know who we are. The real us (who we are in God) and who we think we are in this life becomes divided. We become desperate for meaning, struggling to make whole what feels pulled apart.

Do you see how important this awareness of God’s presence is?

You may be a believer in Jesus and wondering why you are not more conscience of this presence of God if in fact the veil is now torn. As you know you can be in a room with hundreds of people and still only be aware of a fraction of them. One has to be either paying attention to a person or at least in very close proximity to them to be aware their presence.

All barriers have been removed from God and us thanks to Jesus. What is needed is for us simply to be attentive to that presence, to draw near to it in our desires and actions.

Living with this knowledge allows us to understand why Paul calls us ministers of reconciliation (2 Co 5:18). As people who now have complete access to the presence of God and all that that means, we are now called to reconcile other people to that same awareness. God’s acceptance and their understanding of that reinstates their worth in Him, it makes whole what is broken.

In Search of Transformation 2 - Non-Conformity

2007-03-14T14:46:00.000-05:00

For the next few entries I will be referring to Romans 12:2 which reads "Do not conform any longer any to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

It is a verse that is known well among Christians, but the meaning is often taken to mean something different than what it is actually saying.

What does it mean to not conform any longer to the patterns of this world? For most of my Christian life, I have understood it to mean, (whether as a result of preaching, reading or my own thoughts) that we should not go to "R" movies or listen to certain kinds of music, etc. In other words, we need to not find pleasure in the same things the world does, not do the same things they do; we need to come out from among them and be ye separate.

The conformity that Paul is warning against here though, is not accurately summed up as "do not do as they do," but rather, "do not live as they live." The verse is talking about the systems of governments, the unspoken rules of relationships with our neighbors, the expected manner in which we are to work with fellow employees, for bosses. This conformity speaks to the day to day cues we get from our environment that tell us how to act in this life in order to be happy and successful and satisfied.

It is much deeper a thing than the easily identifiable tangibles that we typically use to measure our success as Christians. To be "conformed" by the world, literally means I have been molded - like clay in a cast - by the systems and functions of this present society.

Now of course, we realize that every single one of us are products of our environments. Social Science is dedicated to this fact. I am in a mold that was set by experiences and lessons that I learned from my parents, family, friends, school, church and more; all of which were in middle class America. It is not a question, in other words, of am I being conformed to the world? But rather, in what ways has the world conformed me?

Paul is not telling us here to throw all of that away. I don't even think that is possible. What he wrote is "do not conform any longer." This means, from now on, becoming purposeful about opening ourselves to the ways of another life: The systems and functions of the Kingdom of God. Its ways may be a little more hidden* but they are a far more true reality than the one we exist in now. How we do this we be explored in the next posting.

For now though, I would like you to take a few moments, get alone and quiet and think about the following 2 questions.
1. In what ways have the functions, systems and relationships in this world (including family and the church) shaped my view of God?
2. In what ways have the functions, systems and relationships in this world (including family and the Church) shaped my understanding of who I am to God?

* See Luke 17:20, Matthew 13:44, Mark 4:30, Luke 13:20

In Search of Transformation

2007-02-19T13:39:00.000-05:00

I came to Christ purely out of selfish reasons: I did want to go to hell. Within a few years, I was feeling restless like there had to be more to the Christian life than an assurance of heaven after I die. The more I read about Jesus and all that He was while he walked this earth and all that he is currently is heaven, I wanted to be recreated in His image. So I sought after spiritual formations through the classic disciplines and spiritual practices of our great Christian history. I fell madly in love with God for the first time. I lit candles, played moody music, sat in stillness and silence for long periods of time just hear Him speak. It was and is romantic. Like an obsessed lover, I wanted more. I sought to understand and to open myself up to the fullness of the Holy Spirit. “Transformation; finally” I thought. And to a degree, it was transforming. Things that I struggled with my whole life; character flaws, secret addictions- seemed to fade in the distance as God became the target at which my whole life now aimed.

Yet, after a few more years, I was restless again. What was all this transformation for? If it was just for me to be different, I could have had some level of success applying myself to one of many methods, secular and spiritual, of behavior modification. I wanted to be like Jesus and Jesus interacted differently with people than I did. For all of my change, I was still largely selfish and arrogant. Jesus was selfless and humble while he walked with us. I turned my attention to social justice. My eyes were opened to the huge deal God made about the orphan, the widow, the poor, the alien, the ill and imprisoned in the Old Testament and the New Testament through the words and actions of Jesus and the new church that started in His stead. “This was what its for,” I thought. So I gave food to the homeless and talked with them about their lives, I helped rebuild homes that were falling apart and more.

Still, I felt there needed to be more. What were all of these deeds for? I began to understand the heart of Christ for the lost. Social Justice means something if it opens the door for those less fortunate to receive the greatest gift of God- namely salvation. I threw away much of what I learned through the years on this subject; the cute and clever sales type techniques that try to out wit your opponent into getting them to sign on the dotted line and instead went with an organic, loving everyday relationship approach. I reminded myself that Jesus never called us to save souls, but to make disciples. Discipleship is not a hit and run - get them saved approach; but a process of long term friendship.

All of this was by God’s design. Each experience opened up a new level of understanding at just the right time for me to receive it. While this describes much of my spiritual journey in a nutshell, there is one important detail that I left out. It is an underpinning that, in spite of my readings and searching and yearning that pushed me closer to God’s heart and the progress that I may have made, threatened to topple it all. Simply put, my thinking about who God is and who I am in Him was flawed and needed correction.

In spite of my growth, my mind was still greatly formed by the culture in which I was raised and the systems of this world. I understood and related to God through the filter that my life had handed to me.

To be more thoroughly changed, I needed to no longer allow myself to be conformed to this world but to purposely renew my mind with healthy thoughts concerning who God is and who I am in Him.

Through this next series of posts, I want to invite you to reconsider our conclusions - conscious and unconscious – regarding God and ourselves and to make a decision to renew (to replace) our destructive thoughts with who He and we actually are.

Living Death - 5 The Gift of life

2006-12-04T15:58:00.000-05:00

If you have lost a loved one, you probably remember experiencing a sudden appreciation for their lives, for memories of moments that you shared with them. This is an unexpected blessing that comes with death; a great appreciation for life.

Death changes things. It changes us. With each person's passing disappears a feeling, an era, a time that we always thought would be. Often, we look back with longing and wish we could have some of those memories again.

Its not just death that brings about longing for another time. It could be memories of our childhood, our teen years, our young adult years, our newlywed years, our years with young children, our years when our children went off the college, etc. It seems we often long for something that was in the past.
The ironic thing is as you go through different stages in your life, you may look back at this time as something special. You may, in the future, even long for the memories of your present experiences.

The danger in romanticizing the past too much is that we desire what was to the exclusion of what is. As I once heard it said: We can not let what we don't have ruin what we do have.

Years ago, Chris (my wife) and I, attended a marriage seminar. The emotional pinnacle of the weekend is when the leaders of the event wrote a letter to their spouse after contemplating their death and what they would miss most about them and then they read it aloud to their spouses in front of everyone, usually through a lot of tears. Every couple is instructed to then go to their hotel rooms and do the same. Obviously, the point of the exercise is to make the participants appreciate the gift that they have in their mates. Our lives get so busy with the daily grind and stresses that we often fail to contemplate how deeply gifted we are.

Living Death does this for us. We come to be surprised at the fullness of our present lives. The author of Cloud of Unknowing writes about this unexpected blessing from death to self,
"He rejoices that he is and from the fullness of a grateful heart he gives thanks to God for the gift and the goodness of his existence."

As you continue on your journey of dying to self, you will be more acutely aware of the blessed ordinary moments with your children, your spouse or your friends or family or even in your time alone. It will be as if you step outside the moment and watch it happen and while you are experiencing it, you will breathe deeply and with a full heart say "thank you for this Lord."

Dead people, by all rights, should not have such moments.You are deeply blessed to have them. All of life is a gift, made that more precious by death.

Worship Break

2006-11-11T23:13:00.000-05:00

My King (fills the earth)

Any level of death to self that we can live, must only come from God's glory and goodness. Otherwise, it would be about us again.

This video is a project that I put together for worship about four years ago. I found a sound clip of a preacher that I heard over 10 years ago and put it to a soundtrack by Vangelis along with video clips that I felt did not take away from the flow of honor these words created.

OK, enough of the technical stuff, click play and remind yourself; its all about Him.

Living Death 4 - Desires of Our Hearts

2006-11-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

Dead people have no rights, they have no plans, and they have no dreams.

One of things that we have difficulty with when we attempt to practice the grace of daily dying to self is the realization that this death applies to every aspect of our life. It’s one thing to talk about turning off a TV program, it’s another thing to put all of our dreams, goals, plans and what we feel are our very rights to death.

Once we embrace this kind of death however, we find that this fear of difficulty is not rooted in reality. As a matter of fact, this death breads far greater freedom and clarity.

Psalm 37: 4 says “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

To die to self means that we are choosing to find pleasure and hope in God far more than our own accomplishments or anything this life can offer us.

We are mix of desires. Some are placed there by God, some are not. A person can easily become confused by competing aspirations. Often times, out of fear of choosing the wrong direction, we end up with an inability to make a choice and go with what is right in front of us.

Conversely, when a person dies to themselves, those desires and dreams that are placed by God will rise to the surface. The ones that were born from selfish ambition will fade away.

Now that does not mean that your desire to open that new business, for example, is going to have to go and that wish that you could read your Bible more will stay. God could have very well placed that desire of a new business within you for His purposes. We can’t think that the only desires that are going to stay are the religious ones. God’s will is a lot more complex and specific to your individual self. He has created you for a specific purpose, a way of interacting with life that only your experiences (good and bad), gifts, skills and thoughts can provide.

He desires for you to do something unique, to fit into a place where you are most needed as His ambassador. This may be in a situation that you would have never thought was actually God’s will but it was all along. As a mater of fact I would say that as a Christian, many of the desires you have probably are from God. It’s often the case that the motivation is what needs to die.

In my Bible, there is a notation near the word heart and it says that the heart means one’s inner person, deepest thoughts, and soul’s yearnings. God is crafty in a sanctified kind of way. He first places desires within us and as our lives become more about Him and less about us, those desires grow into reality.

To delight ourselves in the Lord we chose Him above our dreams, we delight in Him more than we delight in the desires of our heart. And by doing so, the things that are MOST DEEPLY a part of us will come to be.

We receive more when we loose the tight grip we often have on our lives.

Having said that, we can’t live death in order to get anything in this life simply because dead people don’t think such thoughts! No longer seeking these things makes them all the sweeter when they come to us freely by God’s hand.

Before you move on with your day, perhaps take a moment and make this classic prayer your own.

“I am no longer my own,

But thine.

Put me to what thou wilt,

Rank me with whom thou wilt.

Put me to do doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed by thee

Or laid aside for thee,

Exalted for thee or brought low for thee.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things,

Let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things

To thy pleasure and disposal.

And now, O Glorious and blessed God,

Father Son and Holy Spirit

Thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth,

Let it be ratified in heaven.

Amen”

Living Death 3 - A Realistic Self-View

2006-10-19T09:34:00.000-05:00

There exist in many people an unrealistic self-image.

The extremes are either a person with a very poor view of themselves or a person with an overly gracious view of themselves. In both of these perceptions, there is an element of truth. In God's eyes we are both worthy of the death of His Son and yet it was the state of our condition that made His death necessary. We are both made in the image of God and yet needing to be restored to His design. As one popular author wrote "God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses the leave you that way."

The kind of inward suffering that I wrote about previously comes through having a realistic view of who we are. I will relate a personal experience to you only so that you might have a better understanding of what I mean.

Two years ago in the fall, I was sensing a strong sense one evening that God wanted to talk to me about my future. I took a walk around Pennington, NJ, where I lived at the time, in order to give Him my full attention. I don't need to go into all of what God communicated to me that night, but a big part of it was my coming to realize that anything I would ever become was because of who He was and not because who I am. There was a deep sense of surrender.

Within a few weeks, me, my wife and boys all came down with the flu, you know, the kind that kept you down for 5-6 days with unusually high fevers every day? On the last day I woke up with the fever being broken and strange as it sounds, almost involuntarily, I found myself praying for a death to all my desires over and over again.

I woke up in utter disgust with myself. The games I play, the pride I struggle with, my feeble attempts at ministry, the kind of father and husband I am; all these things weighed down on me until I could not stand who I was any longer.

Now, I said earlier that there are two extremes of self-image and I am not one of those who suffered from a poor one. I do not enjoy beating up on myself. I am generally not a depressed person. These feelings, although they may sound dreadful, were totally rooted in hope. There was a sense that this needed to happen, that I needed to surrender on a much deeper level so that God could bring me higher.

An unknown author articulated how I felt perfectly in a famous book entitled The Cloud of Unknowing:
"He alone feels authentic sorrow who realizes not only what he is but that he is. In a word, he feels the burden of himself so tragically that he no longer cares about himself if only he can love God. This sorrow purifies a man and it prepares his heart to receive that joy through which he will finally transcend the knowing and feeling of his being."

Most people do not fall in the extremes of their self perception; we fall somewhere in between. One day we feel good about ourselves and the next day we don't like our own company. Mostly though, we don't take the time to think about it either way. You and I fill our lives with so much doing that we rarely take a look we are.

There are things that we have a tight grip on, things that we don't know how to change about ourselves, things that cause us to act in ways we wish we did not. But these feelings largely lay below the surface.

To see ourselves for who we really are is to cause such suffering that we will want to be free of ourselves and all that we hold onto.

To pray for death to self and mean it at first seems rather depressing. We are so used to getting our way with things. As time goes on, however, it becomes easier and easier until we get to the point were we dread the thought of returning to who we previously were. We come to see our previous way of living (before we learned the grace of dying to self), as bondage, enslavement to our own wills and desires. We come to understand what we thought was freedom was just free.

To live death requires a realistic view of who we are. This in turn will cause an inward suffering through which death to self can be a reality. Through this process the Spirit of Christ begins to live through us in fuller measure. And at last, we come to find our life to be lived much closer to its intent: full (of God) and free (from oursleves). Through loosing our life, we actually find it.

A Halloween Diversion

2006-10-11T08:42:00.000-05:00

Please excuse the interuption. In my next entry, I will continue the idea of dying to self, but I wanted to use an entry to talk about something seasonal for a moment.

Halloween is typically one of those occasions where convictions are strong with some and not so much with others and still others are left confused, struggling to come to their own understanding of what is right and wrong.

I have my own convictions on the subject and they are pretty strong. Because they are not something that Christians typically hear when the subject of Halloween comes up, I thought it would be helpful to some for me to post them on this blog, which I did last year. They are entitled A Greater Evil, Part 1 and Part 2. If you are interested in reading more, click on the links below. Following the links is a thrid entry on the subject that I did not publish last year, with a few revisions.

A Greater Evil Part 1

Greater Evil Part 2

I hope the above entries have caused you to reevaulte some conclusions that you may have previously had on the subject of Halloween. My goal is not to make you participate in something you feel strongly against.

If each of us are going after the heart of God and are learning to think for ourselves with a large dosage of humility, we will develop our own convictions that are right for us and our families.

This is as it should be. Paul writes to the church in Rome
“One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?...
One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind…
You then, why do you judge your own brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will al stand before God’s judgment seat.” (Romans 14:1-10)

My caution to Christians is that we need to study opposing view points, history, the scriptures, and our own thoughts before we so easily fall into becoming reactionary. This emotion based way of making decisions usually leads to a judgmental spirit that looks to impose our convictions on others, which clearly is not what the scripture teaches.

There will be many who have thought for themselves, who have studied beyond the hype that circulates in Christian circles and still, they will not agree. There are some who will abstain completely from participating in Halloween on any level because they are acutely aware of the evil that is happening on the surface and beneath the surface, in front on their eyes and in the spiritual realm. There are others who will feel just as strongly to not hide from this, who feel confident in God’s Sprit within them and the conviction that they can use this day for God’s glory.

Guess what? There is room in the body of Christ for these opposing view points and much in between. We must simply be fully convinced in our own minds and not judge the conviction of others.

For me, I believe that Jesus is a redeemer and the task at hand for Christians on Halloween is to redeem the holiday for Christ, much as Christians have done throughout history with other holidays.

A few practical ways to do this:
1. I only allow my kids to dress in superhero costumes and use the opportunity to talk about the heroes of the faith historically and Biblically. As we carve pumpkins, I use the opportunity every year to talk about how Christ cleans out all of our messiness when we invite Him in (taking out the seeds) and how He places His light within us to shine throughout the world (placing the candle within). When we trick or treat, we make sure to actually talk to our neighbors, to interact with them and share God’s goodness just by being ourselves. We do not approach homes that are demonically decorated and we use that as an opportunity to teach our boys that the people who live in that house are not bad people, but we do not agree with trying to make the dark side fun, because it is real-even though the people may not know that. By doing these things, we seek to use Halloween as an important interactive teaching experience for our boys and just as importantly, to bring the light of Christ into our neighbors lives.

2. Another idea is to have a fire in your front yard (if you have one of those metal pits) and offer free hot chocolate or coffee to parents in a relaxed way with chairs for them to take a rest for a moment. Interact and show love to those who are walking up to your door. God is sending them to you for a reason.

3. Host an “All Souls Day Open House.” For this, you can invite families with young kids from church and neighborhood families as well, asking that children be dressed in hero costumes. Decorate you home with fall themes, serve various fun food and drink ideas that one could get from Living magazine, Better Homes and Gardens and all the rest (I don’t know what I am talking about at this stage, so I digress). Have a few games. At one point, gather the children around and have a few stories ready about heroes of the faith. Perhaps use the pumpkin carving object lesson that I mentioned in #1. Talk about how great this night is to show care and love to other kids and families. Then release the kids to go trick or treating. If they are older, have fun with the parents, maybe spend some time in prayer together.

4. Other Christians have made cut a pumpkin out of large poster board with the words “Jesus loves you” on a happy face and put it on their door and hand out kids fun bible tracts with candy. Although this would not be my personal preference, it is still another idea to let your light shine.

5. If you have or don’t have young children, you can host or participate in a Light In the Night event. This is a great event that takes our Christianity right into the neighborhood. You can look into it all by clicking here. If you happen to attend Hopewell Christian Fellowship, we are hosting a Light in the Night Event in the Pennwood development in Elverson. Contact Anne-Marie at annemariey@hwcf.org

These are just a few ideas. Once you realize that instead of hiding, we should be smack dab in the middle of it, shinning in it, redeeming it (for even more thoughts along these lines, you can read this brief article from CBN, by clicking here), the possibilities are limitless. The bottom line is, be sure of what you believe and that it is more than and emotional reaction, be even more sure to not use your convictions to judge others, and if your conviction is to let your light shine…LET IT SHINE THIS HALLOWEEN!

Living Death 2 - Choosing to Suffer

2006-10-02T12:06:00.000-05:00

Death to self can not come about through making a series of right decisions.

I used to think that taking up our cross meant to simply say no to things that we wanted to do, like watching particular TV shows or gossip or a selfish act. Of course the problem is that we are rarely consistent. So, if we are honest about this fact, we must face one of two realities; either the daily death that Christ called us to is an unrealistic demand and so we do not take it to heart, or the daily death that Christ calls us to is achievable, but not through acts of our will.

One of the largest traps that many believers fall into is one of behavior modification, thinking this is what is meant by taking up our cross. Jesus was, in fact, calling us to a state of existing, a way of life from which the decisions of life are already made!

It is my belief and my experience that this existence and the kind of death that Christ calls us to can only come about through suffering; a suffering in which we die to our desires and plans, our methods of perfecting ourselves, even our efforts in trying to please God.

1 Peter4 says “Therefore, since Christ has suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires but rather for the will of God…” Than it goes on to say “…rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ…”

There are two different types of sufferings: One that comes from outside of us that has an inward result or one that comes from the inside that has an outward result.We each have a choice -we can either allow ourselves to be broken and truly die to all that we want out of this life or God will use circumstances in such a way that our will gets crushed. This is not done out of meanness but out of Love. This is why Hebrews 12:6 reads “The Lord disciplines those whom he loves…”

A rather obvious statement we could make is that parents will only discipline their children when a need for discipline exist. We all know of those rare children that almost seem to bring themselves under discipline by delaying gratification and choosing not to get their way all the time because of their strong sense of right and wrong. These children naturally will not be disciplined as those children who seem to be strong willed.

Now, both children will experience a degree of suffering. The well behaved child understands the reality that they will not always get their way and they choose to suffer internally a little instead of having Mom or Dad bring suffering upon them in an effort to break their will.

The strong will child however, refuses to suffer internally and will repeatedly try to get what they want when they want it and because of this will have to endure greater suffering from an outside force.

David writes in Psalm 94:12 “Blessed is the man You discipline, O Lord.” Discipline is not punishment in this sense, but training (which is actually closer to the original meaning of the word "discipline"). I don't know about you, but I would prefer to suffer a little myself than to have the strong arm of God use suffering for my training.

This is not to say that if you chose to suffer by being broken, nothing bad will come into your life from the outside. Financial collapse, death, divorce or physical illness may still come to you. We do live in an imperfect world where the Kingdom of God is not yet fully realized. What I am saying is that if your will is not already broken and a disaster comes upon you, your suffering will be that much greater if God has to use it to break you.

“For it is better to suffer for doing good, if suffering should be God’s will, than to suffer for doing evil.” (1Pe4:17)

We can’t think Christ’s sufferings were physical only. He was 100% God and 100% man and as such, He Himself struggled against his own will and that of his father’s. In the garden he pleaded for God to take the suffering away that was soon coming but than he prayed “but not my will though – it is all about what You want.”

The suffering of Christ that we chose to participate in is the suffering that we endure when we die to our own will.

Living Death 1- An Invitation to Die

2006-10-02T11:48:00.000-05:00

What?! You're still reading? Did you read the title?

Here is a new series of entries that focus on a subject which I am sure will not sound very interesting or desirable: learning how to die to self.

It is a subject that comes up over and over again in the words of Jesus and in the writings of the Paul, yet I never understood what to do with it. Dieing to self was something I knew I had to learn, but the feeling that I would be defeated before I even began on such a journey, overwhelmed me.

Now I understand dying to self to be one of the most freeing and liberating practices that I can participate in.

Jesus said if we want to hold onto this life, we will loose it but that if we loose our life, for His sake, we will find it. Therein lies a strange paradox: In giving up our lives to Christ, we actually discover how to live, full and free.

I hope you will have the patience to read through these next few entries. I further hope that you will meditate (think deeply) about the verses and truths that you will read and how they may be applicable to your life. And I pray that as you learn how to live death, you will come to know the liberation from enslavement to your own desires and that true fullness of life that can be experienced as you continue on your journey. Its time to get yourself out of the way and let Christ live through you.

How to Think 5 - Silence

2006-08-01T10:41:00.000-05:00

The final habit to cultivate in order to think well, is that of silence. We live in a society where the easy thing to do is live in wall to wall noise. The difficult thing, in that it requires a conscious effort, is to steal away for moments of silence. To think well though, it is not only desirable to take time for silence, I am not sure if it is even possible without it. Perhaps no greater advise could be given to our society in this area than the answer that Job gave to his critics in the midst of his suffering: "If you would only keep silent, that would be your wisdom!" (13:5)

Imagine a jar filled with river water. When it is first drawn and observed, dirt and sand whirl around making it difficult to see through. As the jar is placed on a steady still surface though, in time the dirt and sand settles to the bottom and the water clears considerably at the top. Having the proper information does not automatically mean we know how to use it. We must be still and silent long enough to separate healthy and unhealthy emotion, to let information "settle" and clear thinking rise to the top. Richard Foster writes "If we hope to move beyond the superficialities of our culture, including our religious culture, we must be willing to go down into the recreating silences, into the inner world of contemplation." (Celebration of Discipline. Page 15)

Any truth that is worthwhile originates from God's character, but God does not always express Himself through means that come natural to our fallen state (read for example, how God speaks to Elijah in 1 Kings 19:11-13). To think well, we must retrain our ears for the still and small voice of God.

If you have been on this journey with me in learning to think well, you are learning to change your posture to humility and are yearning to learn in such a way that your eyes and ears are open to find what is true and excellent in all of life. Now in this silence, we contemplate what we have read, observed and listened to. In this place, we begin to think well. This is the proper breeding ground where original thought can come forth.*

I once heard of a professor who was visiting an ivy league university to address contemporary issues from a Christian world view. The subject that raised the most controversy was abortion. The Professor asked the students to show with raised hands if they believed abortion was morally correct and ethical. 90% of the hand went up. He then asked each student to take five minutes of silence and to contemplate the act of abortion itself. At first, a few students thought he was not serious but after a few moments, one by one the students began to close their eyes and still themselves. At the end of the five minutes, the professor asked the same question. This time only a few hands went up. A major conclusion about life and death was changed because of five minutes of silence and without any dogma or arguing.

The book of Proverbs counsels us that it is "an intelligent person that remains silent." (11:12) We don't seek to become intelligent people for intelligence sake. None of this is about us, nor is it to serve our needs or egos. It is simply to be like our Lord, that we, like Him, may learn to "increase in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men (Luke 2:52)" that God may be glorified as we grow in the fullness of who we were created to be.

*By "original thought," I don't mean thoughts that never before existed, rather I mean thoughts that are not overly tainted by contemporary society and that instead come from a deeper place within. Each of us are created as original creations. And as I stated before in a previous entry, in order for the body to function at its best, each member must grow in the awareness of what part they are (their original self). Interestingly, we cannot fully grow into who we are until we to die to self, but that is a whole other thought for a future entry.

How to Think 4 - Yearning

2006-06-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

“Tune your ears to the world of Wisdom; set your heart on a life of Understanding. That’s right-if you make Insight your priority, and won’t take no for answer, searching for it like a prospector panning for gold, like an adventurer on a treasure hunt, believe me, before you know it Fear-of-God will be yours; you’ll have come upon the Knowledge of God.” (Proverbs 2: 2-5 –MSG)

Yearning and humility are two sides of the same coin. We can’t have one without the other. To approach our ability to think and current knowledge with humility is to realize we don’t yet know what we ought to know and so, we yearn to more fully understand what we don’t understand.

This is not a yearning for facts and figures, this is a yearning to comprehend the hearts of people, to study the heart of God in this life, to meditate on the heart of a book or movie or art or society. According to the words of Solomon, written above, this yearning to understand the heart comes from our heart as much as it does our minds. The heart in Biblical times was the seat of our emotions, the core of who we are, the deepest part of ourselves. In other words, this is not a superficial hunger to know things in order for us to be recognized by others as being smart. This is comes from who we essentially are; someone who seeks first to understand before being understood.

To truly understand something or someone, means that we are not always trying to get to the bottom of things. We realize that it is in the journey that we learn.

To illustrate this, I will tell of a time when a few friends and I were walking on a bridge from Lahaska, NJ to New Hope, PA. As we were walking and talking, I was looking around at my surroundings. The air was still filled with the warmth of the sun, but the cool breeze of night was moving in, the hills that are on either side of the bridge were silhouetted against a brilliant sky, the lights of the sister towns were all coming on, many interesting people were walking by (New Hope and Lahaska are inhabited by many artist and writers), and the river was flowing at a good clip beneath us. I felt alive just taking it all in. It wasn’t until we were half way across the bridge that I realized my friends didn’t share the same sentiments. One said, “How long is this bridge? I just want to get to the other side.”

Many people approach life as something to get through, and they just want the bottom line to get them through the best they can. But to yearn to think well, we must recognize that all of life is teaching something in every moment; not just then when we have the right book, or attend that class, or talk with that person, rather the person that you sharing space with right now in these moments has something to teach you, creation all around you is speaking of God and your place in His creation, there is so much in front of your eyes in this very second. Take it all in. Give up your bottom lines. Live in this moment.

I have known many people through my life that were academically brilliant, but that could not have a meaningful conversation if their lives depended on it. A person that yearns as we are talking about here, seeks to understand and learn from all things and all people.

One expected result of all of this is how large God grows in our minds and hearts. He breaks out of all our preconceived ideas of where He is and where He is not and who He chooses to speak through. I can honestly say that I have never known fear (awe) of God like I have since I have sought to understand life in general. This is what I think Solomon meant in the opening verse. Yearning leads to fear of God and the fear of God is the beginning of true wisdom.

How to Think 3 - Humility

2006-05-22T14:56:00.000-05:00

The first requirement to Think Well is to cultivate humility. Paul writes, "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment" (Ro 12:3)

Years ago, during a time of owning a residential/commercial cleaning business, I had one customer that I did not allow my employees to clean. The customer's name was Bea and I looked forward to being in her home. She was intellectually hospitable. She was elderly, she had lived a long educated life and she was one of the most open-minded people I have ever met. She still hungered for truth and beauty in life. She read and experienced more than I certainly had, yet she arrived at no conclusions. She was neither Republican, nor Democrat but only voted after careful consideration of all viewpoints. She consumed newspapers, books and NPR (National Public Radio) and as well, took much time for silence to think about what she was consuming. And although I was not sure of weather or not she was a Christian for years, as time went on, I learned how she often prayed to God, much more than I did. I can only hope that when I am her age, I will be as gracious and humble as she was.

It is so easy to get stuck in our molds and assumptions about what life has taught us. Yet Jesus said, after taking children into His arms, "...the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Mk 10:14-15) What was Jesus saying here? That we have faith of a child? Yes, certainly. But we miss His full meaning if we boil it down to one word, such as faith. Jesus was holding up as an example, the entire approach to life that a child has. Life has not yet taught them how to be bitter or judgmental. If they exist in a loving, safe environment, children are wide-eyed, eager to soak life in and learn from all that it has to offer them. These children do not instinctively see a small world, torn apart by violence and destruction caused by self-centeredness in which no magic exist and everything can be explained. Theirs is a world of mystery, trust and largeness that they cannot fully comprehend, nor would they desire to do so. What I hear Jesus saying to me as He holds these children in His arms, is "Vince, always be willing to un-learn what you are so sure about. Do not be comfortable in all of your assumptions and conclusions. God is big, you are small. His ways are not yours, His thoughts are not yours. Simply, trust Him and love Him."

We receive the Kingdom of God through posture more than we do knowledge. Any world religion or philosophy worth its weight in salt, embraces this fact: To truly grow, we must be willing to deconstruct what we think is truth. Zen Buddhist call this Beginner's Mind, and it is an attitude of openness that one must have even when studying at advanced levels. Everything must be approached as if it were the first time learning it. Paul writes "Knowledge puffs up... Anyone who claims to know something, does not yet have the necessary knowledge." (1 Co 8:2)

For me, all of this means that I am willing to ask myself some deconstructive questions. Questions like: If church never existed and I and a small group of people were the only Christians on the earth, based on the Bible alone, what would church look like?
By this question; first I am establishing the fact that the Bible is the ultimate authority and the source for direction. Secondly, I am attempting to strip away much of the contemporary cultural influences from what the Bible actually says about a subject such as church (if you would like more information about Emerging Church issues, you can hear me dialogue with a few other guys on 2 recent Doxas Dialos Podcasts: here and here).
Another question would be: If I, nor anyone I knew, ever read the Bible and no one taught me from it, no one read me stories from it, no one ever interpreted it to me and told me what it means...what would it say to me?

To ask these type of questions requires humility, time and a lot of prayerful introspection. It is not about the answers. It is the searching and the dependence upon God that is the point. Jesus was asked 183 question in the Gospels. He answered 3 directly. As I heard a priest, Richard Rohr, say about this, "He [Jesus], refuses to see himself as an answer giver or a problem solver and instead leads us to a place where we cannot be in control and therefore, God can be."

We simply do not know all there is to know yet about Him, about life, about human behavior or even one another. To Think Well, we have to start, and always remain, at the beginning.

How to Think 2 - What Thinking Well Is Not...

2006-05-11T07:39:00.000-05:00

In this entry, I wanted to state what I am not talking about by the term, thinking well.

I am not talking about doing well academically
By doing well academically, I mean the ability to process and regurgitate a given set of information. What is required for a person to do well in school is to give the “right” answers (the answers the teacher is looking for), at the right time (when the student is asked verbally or for a test). I don’t mean to diminish formal education; I think school is crucial. Without a degree, many doors in the workforce remain closed and the higher degree, the more doors begin to open. Still, in the world of academia, there is not a premium placed of developing one’s own ability to think as I mean here.

I am not talking about doing well with memorization
I have always admired the ability some people have to remember dates and names. I love American history and can give you a sweeping overview of the Revolutionary and Civil Wars, but I could not tell you exact years, places or names. I am interested in the development of stories, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot retain the precise details for more than a few days if I do not use that knowledge. Luckily for me, the lack of a good memory does not impede on one’s ability to think well.

I am not talking about quickness
Our brains are filled with long rows of filing cabinets. Some are filled with facts, some are filled with common sense solutions, some are filled with anecdotes, and so on. My wife is one of those people that can run to the appropriate cabinet and pull out exactly the right file for any given moment in the blink of eye. My brother is like this as well. These are ones who normally score pretty high on IQ tests. They can combine good memorization skills and common sense skills, throw in a dose of wisdom and articulate it well, while I am still on my way to the first drawer, wondering if I am even at the right one. While the ability to quickly tap into the right information is a help in thinking well, to think well does not depend on how slow or quick your mind works.

So then, what do I mean by thinking well? We will get more into this over the next few entries, but for now I can tell you that thinking well requires: humility, yearning & silence.

As I mentioned in my previous entry; thinking is work. There is no way around this. But for those who take the time to fully embrace humility, yearning and silence in their quest for wisdom, a life of easy answers and reactionary living will loose all appeal and not even seem relatable any longer.

Take a moment before you move on from this blog, even now and ask God to give you a deeper well of wisdom. James 1:5 tells us “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

How to Think 1 - A Crisis of Non-Thinking

2006-05-10T11:57:00.000-05:00

It has been so long my last entry. Thousands of emails and letters, even financial offers have come through – all to pull me back in, so here I am. You can breathe again. Your life will continue.
Actually, does anyone really read this thing? I humbly thank you (all 2 of you!), for taking any time out of your lives to read the thoughts of someone like me.
The next few entries are going to be a mini-series based on a subject I love: Thinking. Keep in mind that I do not speak of this subject as one who has mastered it. These are just some things that I have learned through the years in an attempt to do it better.
In this first entry, I am going to share a few thoughts about the present crisis of non-thinking.

““2% of the people think; 3% of the people think they think; and 95% would rather die than think.” -George Benard Shaw

To think well is not easy and so most people simply do not want to do the work.

We fill our minds with other people’s thoughts. And depending on our sociological background and our own psychological and spiritual makeup, we gravitate towards those thoughts that most resonate with us. We rarely unplug from the myriad of voices and deeply think about why we gravitate towards certain beliefs and if those beliefs really are true.

We become reactionary (responding from our emotions) as opposed to responsive (responding from a deeper place of wisdom). The result is simplistic thinking.

Dr. M. Scott Peck writes in his book The Road Less Traveled and Beyond, “Everywhere we turn, the evidence is astounding. Simplistic thinking has become so pandemic in society that it is considered normal and conventional wisdom…” (pg. 31)

If you are a non-fictional reader like me, you have probably thought to yourself as I have, “Why are there so few original writers our there? Is there anyone who can do more than just repackage other people’s thoughts into different looking boxes and give me an original thought that I can chew on for days or weeks to come? Truths that won’t just confirm what I already know, but that will, instead, shake up my presuppositions? That will actually cause me to grow in wisdom and in my own ability to think? ” Don’t misunderstand me, I am not hungry for new truths; rather, fuller truths is what I am after.

I am sure you would agree that God has created each of us as unique individuals. His design is to create a body of believers that are interdependent. Yet, in order for the body to function at its best, each member must grow in the awareness of what part they are (their original self). If you are created to be a foot, you must fully become that foot and not try to hold things as a hand does. The body cannot function this way. Now we know this is true in relation to spiritual gifts, but it also true in other aspects of our humanity. God forbid we all think the same thoughts, where is the iron sharpening iron in that?

When I was a child, my parents along with my 4 siblings and I took a month out of our lives, loaded up our camper and drove across the country. We went along the southern states on our way to California and along the northern states on the way back. I have distinct memories of the different feels in each state and in so many different towns. A teenager in Missouri dressed and spoke differently than a teenager in Arizona. Today, a teenager in Georgia dresses like a teenager in Washington, like a teenager in the Dominican Republic, like a teenager in Germany. Sure, many may try to be original, but the moment they have achieved it, it is packaged and sold as the next trend (watch a fascinating documentary about this online at: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/cool/view/ ).

It isn’t just in the world of fashion that unoriginality thrives, it is in books, magazines, TV shows, and much of our day to day lives.

Dallas Willard in his great book, The Divine Conspiracy, writes “the mantle of intellectual meaninglessness shrouds every aspect of our common life. Events, things, and “information” flood over us, overwhelming us, disorienting us with threats and possibilities we for the most part have no idea what to do about. Commercials, catch words, political slogans, and high-flying rumors clutter our mental and spiritual space. Our minds and bodies pick them up like a dark suit picks up lint.” (pg.9)

There is hope. We are free to develop into our own, most unique self, if we are willing to do the hard word of thinking well. If we are willing, as Paul wrote to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

What kind of impression will you leave on this earth when you are gone? Will it be barely distinguishable from the myriads of others who never really lived? God has created our short breathe of an existence to make a contribution that only our individual lives can make. I have no idea what my own will be, but I pray it won’t be anyone else’s.

Unbusy Progress

2006-01-21T19:37:00.000-05:00

2005 brought upon me the need to break my long standing resolution (namely to never make a New Year’s resolution). My resolution for 2006 is to learn the ways of becoming unbusy and then to live it.

Although people would categorize me as being high-strung, I actually am more of an introvert in that I recharge my batteries during silence and solitude and find large groups of people to leave me tired. Since my new position at Hopewell, opportunities for such recharging have been in short supply. This is my fault alone because although I enjoy silence and solitude, I do not naturally bend in its direction. I thrive on creating things and rallying other people who may share the same vision into action. The problem is, when I am not paying attention to the depths, I begin to draw from a shallow well and I find that although I can get things done, I can’t minister in any kind of original or spirit-led manner.

My need to become unbusy is more than my ministry though; it is also because the less time I spend with God with no agenda, what one author calls “wasting time with God,” the unhealthier I become. I know this and even feel it happening. Layers of unresolved emotions and fractured thoughts that have no conclusion begin to pile up leaving me confused and at unrest.

Well, I went and shared my resolution with my whole church family at Hopewell on a Sunday morning…now I am accountable to a few hundred people. I have already had a half dozen people ask me how my progress is in this area. One couple even purchased for me the stepping stone that I mentioned in The Presence of Every Moment entry. I could not even fully express my gratitude for such a meaningful gift. I brought it home and now it sits on our mantel above the fireplace. Whenever my mind wonders of I feel that nagging sense to become busy, I wander to the fireplace and contemplate the meaning of those three simple words: You Are Here. I know it is ridiculous that I needed to be reminded of that, but I am so often not present to those I am with.

In addition, I have stepped back from allowing myself to feel like everything is urgent. I breathe more slowly, I try o walk a little more slowly. I recognize my environment a little more. I listen more closely to my wife and my boys. Most importantly, I am learning to hear God more clearly and to follow His leadings. This was something I have forgotten how to do and I never really mastered it in the first place (who can?). But I am familiar with a “sweet spot” that come when I am surrendered, and listening and watching for His move. Things are simplier, easier and more get accomplished, at least more meaningful things.

These reasons and more are why God commanded his people to practice a Sabbath. My family and I have still to determine how we can weekly do this together, although we have had a few sporadic days of impromptu Sabbath. I love the fact that all inner and outer demands can be shut off without guilt and without apology because God told me to do it. I think this is why it is one of the big 10 commandments and why the New Testament did not reprieve it's demands. Left to ourselves, we would never put the brakes on, we are too driven. God made us this way, He want us to be people of excellence and people that produce excellent work for His glory. But that does not come about by striving. It comes by Biblical principles like…waiting… and… resting.

Growing Up

2005-12-15T12:15:00.000-05:00

Have you seen The Polar Express yet? The end of the movie gets me right in the heart. The sleigh bell rings for the boy and his sister, but his parents don’t hear it. He narrates, now as a man, that as the years went on the bell stopped ringing for his sister, but that the bell still rings for him.

After watching the movie recently, Andrew, my 6 year old son, turned to me and asked “Does the bell still ring for you daddy?” Andrew has been struggling with his belief in Santa Clause and I knew what he meant by the question. I quickly answered “Yes.” But then he pressed a little more and asked “I mean like it rings for that boy. Does it ring for you like that?” In other words do I believe in Santa Claus? I answered “Yes, Andrew. I believe in the magic of Santa Claus.” He responded “I believe in the magic and in Santa Claus,” making sure to make the distinction that I did not make. But the truth is, he really doesn’t believe in Santa. He knows it deep within himself and he is trying to hold onto the idea. It makes me sad.

Honestly, I don’t mind all that much that he may be loosing his belief in the big red guy, but I dread the day he will loose the magic.
It happens to all of us at one point or another. Life turns out to be very different then we thought. Death, disappointment, loss, hurt sooner or later enters in to each of our lives and it tries its hardest to steal our innocence, our wonder, our joy.

The Polar Express helped made popular the song “Where Are You Christmas?” The lyrics, I think capture how many adults may feel:
"Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you? Why have you gone away? Where is the laughter, you used to bring me? Why can't I hear music play? My world is changing. I'm rearranging. Does that mean Christmas changes too? Where are you Christmas? Do you remember, the one you used to know? I'm not the same one. See what the time's done. Is that why you have let me go?"

It has not let you go. The magic and wonder of childhood still exist in this life. It permeates your everyday world. You simply have to retrain your ears to hear it, your eyes to see it, your heart to feel it. This life is filled with little and large miracles. May I humbly suggest this season that you fight for your joy, that you fight for the wonder and magic, because if you don’t –this life will take it from you and it will call it maturity. This is a lie. Growing up does not mean you leave behind the magic of life, it does not mean you have to loose that fire in your belly, that passion you once felt.

Do not let the clock be your dictator. Take time for walks in the snow; observe the beauty all around you. Take time for relationships and listen deeply to know one another’s hearts. Let wonder win over reason, tap into that faith of a child that Jesus held up as standard.