MY LONG LOST DIARY

see you in different world

2009-06-05T10:36:00.002+08:00

See you in facebook of M4y4 R4tul M4knu.

One night stand

2009-05-21T08:59:00.002+08:00

It was really hot last night and I couldn't sleep. I guess it’s almost midnight. I starred at the wall thinking how things had happened in just a blink and that love got nothing to do with it. Well, it all happened that way, always I guess. They say it’s hard to keep it plutonic with me when I’m just like a sleeping volcano waiting to get erupted. Oh well, that’s their say – a seller trying to sell to another seller. Fact is, I am supposed to have it well controlled. I know how deep I should go and when to withdraw. I’m very much aware of the game coz I am the game. Experience had thought me well but never this one, not last night. Last night was different.

I sat quietly in darkness wrapping myself on the sofa waiting for him. Never had I felt so anxious about a stranger. I know he’s the one I need that night. The only one that can cool down that burning heat I was feeling. Shit! I’m in my VS nighty. I can’t be seen desperate and inviting. I ran upstairs and changed into some sluggish shirt and cotton pant. And I’ve waited in sweats. Sweats like I’ve never sweated before. Fook I hate this waiting game.

I was in darkness, a refuge in my own house. My heart was screaming for him to rescue me and hoping that my misery can be unleashed soonest possible.

My desperation ended the moment I heard roams of vehicle in front of house. I ran out to see if he's the one that I've been waiting for. And yes indeed. And he's bringing 2 of his friends along. Wow, this could be one hell of a parteyh.

I smiled and greeted him and his friends. And he replied back with a huge torchlight right up on my face.

Ni..macamana boleh blackout ni ???

Err..entah la encik..dia tak trip..takde bunyi jettak pun..cuma macam lip lap lip lap..pastu baru dia padam.

Oooo..ni mesti dah terbakar ni..(sambil suluh ke atas kat kotak meter luar rumah tu). Tu dah terbakar pon..Ni ade buat wiring apa sebelah meter ni ??

Ooo..tu baru buat wiring auto gate..belum siap lagi..

Mungkin wiring ni tak betul ni..dah kena main suis nyer wayar.. tu dia terbakar ni.. kalau overloaded..dia trip..takpe saya tukar suis ni dulu..insyaallah ok

Oooo..ok ok..err nak saya buat kopi ke..?

Eh..takpe takpe..nak kena pergi banyak rumah lain pulak ni..

And within 15 mins, the electrical supply was up. Thanks to pakcik and abang TNB for making my nights comfortable again. Of all the guys that I’ve known that fucked up my life, you strangers had really light up my life in just one night. Irony can be interesting sometimes.

I felt so blessed having an air conditioning system to make my everyday sleeps beautiful again. No more sweats, no more ketiak masams and goodbye mosquitoes. Thank you to the air-cond inventor whoever you are. You’re a genius!

di keterasingan itu

2009-04-09T08:45:00.008+08:00

Dalam kesibukan itu, aku sempat melarikan diri ke sebuah negeri selama 1 minggu. Meninggalkan bebanan kerja yang semakin menggila. Ah, persetankan mereka yang sentiasa rakus memerah tenaga kerja seolah-olah tiada hari esok. Aku perlu lari dari dunia itu. Pergi ke suatu persinggahan yang pernah suatu masa dulu menyaksikan kelahiran aku ke muka bumi ini. Mungkin juga sebagai tanda untuk aku menzahirkan rasa cinta dan sayang aku kepada tanah yang selama ini belum sempat aku berbakti secara langsung. Setiap kali kaki ku melangah ke negeri itu, aku insaf dan terharu terhadap pengorbanan yang telah arwah datuk aku lakukan untuk tanah jajahan itu bahkan untuk Tanah Melayu.

But like what my father have said, my grand dad was born at the wrong place and at the wrong time. But within that short period of time, his contributions to the country were significant. He was born rich, but most of his wealth were lost for the fight of his father's land and for the love if this country (sebab tu akak tak kaya). My dad did continue the fight but halted it due to many confidential reasons. I can still remember those meetings that they had even though at that moment I didn't have a clue about it. My grand dad passed away when he was 45yo with possibility of being poisoned after an open meeting by the beach. And my dad was just 12yo at that time. On the day of his funeral, his body was carried by thousand of people that waited along the roadside from town to the cemetery.

The fighting now is so much different. Now people fight for money, status and power for the sake of themselves and their families. My grand dad had everything but lost most of it for the people and the country. I always believe that every single thing has its own essence. If you used them rightfully for their purpose of existence, they will do you good. But if you disrespect them by mistreating them or took something that was never rightfully yours, life would be full of tragedies and sorrows. And sometimes the trail would continue till your next descendent. God forbidden.

I think I'm gonna stop complaining about my job now.. or maybe for the time being. Sometimes I forgot that fighters blood are so much in me and that I should not be as week and whiney. Life need to be full of spirits and fights for good cause. Not like what had happened during football match recently in Stadium Muhammad 1V. I am so ashamed of that kind of behavior. How confused and mislead the people can be. What are they fighting for? What cause? Disputes can be in any terms, but why need uncivilized act to express it?

We need to generate fighting spirits but with valid cause. We need to have those feelings so that the young generation who lack of fighting spirits in life, to stop cursing and whining and to have their vision set straight and start to ask themselves of what can they contribute to the country. Contributions are variables, and the younger generations need to start with something easier and simpler which is values. It is the fundamental to guide to what is right and wrong.

We do need another war to wake us up, please.

I always like to pose with nice car like this. Opps sorry.. let me rephrase.. a car like this has always like to inter-frame whenever beauty like me am around..kekeke..In case you didn't notice, this is a RR Phantom not Sorento. And just in case you thought its mine, well its not, so don't ask me for a ride. Lagi pun this car is too big for me..hardly can do sprint nor drift. Hehe..seronot perasan jap..

bz la pulak

2009-03-17T10:59:00.002+08:00

Suddenly I'm so damn bz covering 2 roles. One of my teammate has left and join another team and the management is not replacing that role, end up me covering it. Asshole!

And the politics they are playing, has turned out to be more like a circus now. Working from home is now banned! For the sake of excellency konon.. tapi big boss boleh pulak. Well I guess dia sorang je yang tak excellent. Tapi apa dia kisah!

I guess it looks like the company is taking advantage on the economic downturn and expect that attrition rate would be slower, and that people are scared to leave their jobs. But it turnout to be otherwise. Stupid!

Ok la..I need to kerja carik makan now. Wishing you guys have great days ahead.

Love Food

2009-03-03T00:36:00.001+08:00

I don't usually cook and so I'm not really a good cook. When I was small, I usually stay out of the kitchen and let my mom and sis did all the dishes, bake cakes and cookies. My part was only to give sort of review on their cooking. Cooking was definitely not my interest at that time. I spent most of the time riding my BMX instead of main masak-masak and got myself really tan cycling around the park from morning till evening. Don't really bother about SPF30 that time.

But few years back, I'm beginning to like cooking. Maybe it's something in me that was probably missed out along the upbringing. I like playing around with kitchen utensils, to smell of frying onions and garlic and the sizzling sound of it. And I definitely can’t wait to see the outcome, whether it’s edible or not. To have someone taste it and give review of my cooking like I did to my mom and my sis. Sometimes it feels good you know, to have someone acknowledging your cooking – be it good or bad, you just expect a frank comment from your close ones, just to improve your cooking. In the end, they will be the one who's gonna enjoy it anyway. Unfortunately, sometimes it all goes without saying, unless you ask for it.

Err.. how was it ? Good ?

Err... I’ve refilled 3 times hon, doesn’t that mean something?

Frown.

Err..ok if you insist..it’s good..

Unlike Italian food (I only know to cook only spaghetti and macaroni), I think Malay food is quite tedious to prepare. Like my mom used to say, all need to be done in a delicate manner – secara berhalus. It will taste good if you cook it with love. And I wonder where she is coming from. Mmm..

Anyways, yesterday I took half day leave, and felt like cooking something light and something kampong style, so I bought that Rasa magazine and went back home. I think it’s a good mag and really help in giving ideas of what to cook especially to an amateur like me. Hehe..

And since I always put up food pic that was prepared by others, this time it’s mine. Although the level of food presented here is only tahap PMR, I can proudly say that is is prepared with full of love, edible, delicious, well balanced diet and its halal. Hehe,,I like.

Darlius had this, and hopefully he’s buying me a new handphone. Hehe..I’m not materialistic ok.. it was all done with love. Just like mommy says. :)

Ikan sumbat kasih sayang (Fish stuffed with love)

Sama tak ??

19th February

2009-02-20T09:49:00.004+08:00

Darlius asked me if I got any present or flowers on Val's day last week.

I told him I got none, and the fact that IF I got any I wouldn't be taking it back home. (Smart)

And he interrogated further - betul ke no one give you anything ? You kan ramai boifren. (Caution : Ini ayat perangkap)

Err..iye but they all know I don't celebrate Vals crap kan. Lagi pun.. Vals is just another marketing strategy to boost up sales of flowers je..they up the price like crazy pun ..people would still buy. Besides, it’s just another lame excuse to get laid jer. First flowers, then candle lite dinner then you ended up..kat mana ? Again just another strategic planning that won't work on me ok.

So..sapa kasik you bunga ?

Ish..mana ade bunga!!!

Don't tell me no one get crazy over you! Sapa kasik bunga?

Ish..tak ade la..Buat apa orang nak gilakan I.. I bukannya artis.. &%&$@@!!

Alaa..cakap la..I don't mind ok.

Laa..kan I cakap tak ade bunga..

You sure ??

Iyeee..ish..you ni..I tell you what..why not you buy me flowers now..and we'll see what happen ?? We can skip the dinner if you want. Sengih.

Tadaa. Case closed. (Smart)

Change or be changed

2009-02-13T10:10:00.007+08:00

Been bz doing nothing actually. I was drafting on something else but then changed my mind not to publish it. Later maybe.

Yesterday the center announced that boss will move to manage new team members located in the old building in Tmn Tun. And my team will be getting new boss with effect March. I know the new boss and she’s ok.

My boss has been with the company for more than 10 years. He’s the only guy boss in the center and he's one cool boss indeed. Being a manager in this center, requires more than just wits, emotion management but also skill of people management. And that what makes him different with the rest of other young-gile-kuase managers. I can understand the pressure that these managers have – the escalation and the expectations are sometimes too much. However, it all come with good salary package and perks, though most of them whined that it was never worthwhile.

And that’s one of the reason I’m happy just being a small ciku, happy in this petty cubicle, listening to music while doing my work, happy to be sharing my skill and knowledge in whatever field required that is, happy for not having to think about work after office hours or weekend or during holidays. I’m happy with my work even the pay is not that much, but I’m content. Or maybe coz I have Darlius supporting me..hehe. And that’s when he would give me a long lecture of how laid I am whenever I saw a black mini cooper with shining silver rims and told him that I wouldn’t mind at all if he buy me that mini coop.

And he would give me his stern look. Can't you have a lil bit of cita-cita to earn it with your hard earn money ?

And I would say. Nahh..why should I ? I work my hard *tuut for you what?? So beli la bang.. ok la ..if you don’t like black..red would be fine.

Darlius pun mendengus.

But I know, sooner or later, I will have to move and take bigger challenge. There’s no way you can stay in this company doing the same role for more than 2 years. Change is a must. And you have to adapt to changes pretty fast or you’ll be left behind.

But at the moment, I just wanna enjoy this peaceful period as long as I could. Being able to eat, drink, pp, sleep and most of all be happy with yourself and people around you. (Mmm..I do sound as if I was born yesterday).

We do chart our own life and so we need to work towards the best of it. And sometimes to get the best, is not that hard after all, if you could just ease up and pause awhile and recognize that every single events, people you met and things you say, are making thread of another episodes in your future life. Appreciate and enjoy it.

Wakena beb - angkara cool boss (biasa wa yang kenakan orang)
Boss asked my mate who's leaving to other dept, to tell me that I'll be covering her job as well. And I almost fall for that!! Until she burst into laughter and I spanked her for that.Padan muka..

4th week

2009-01-22T11:16:00.007+08:00

4th week of the month was rather quiet. Not much of an overflowed transaction from December. It’s a global recession which is now over shadowing Asean regions and that’s the fact. No matter how optimist I try to be, I just feel that the 3.5% GDP will soon be revised downward. A friend has been asking me should she be moving to another company coz the job sucks. And I told her to hold on to it as long as she could. Though the perks offered were quite lucrative, but in view of security and stability, ones decision should also be anticipating all these. Labor market will soon get the hit and company may use the LIFO exercise to downsize, maybe. The country economy has reacted along with the global economic turmoil and so we should not be ignorant in making decisions for that matter.

However, some company which have forecasted well and had invested on right mechanism may now be on the winning edge. When market is getting larger, companies have no choice but to drive towards competitiveness and impose some stringent cost cutting measure, or end up being suppressed. And that’s when we can see everybody start to step on each other’s field in order to survive and be winner. We may see major mergers in future where certain market will be dominated by this player and many more unethical conducts revealed. Yeah maybe.

Walaupun sekarang semua barang naik except gaji – I do hope that we will overcome this fast, sebab rasa macam RM50 tu cepat sangat habis.

Anyways, I’m wishing Happy Chinese New Year to everyone celebrating it. And we all do hope for prosperous and better values in life.

Our Lou Sang session - sambil kacau tinggi-tinggi kena cakap big money..big money (sort of la)..to invoke good luck..

When boss around.. we kacau-kacau with different note..big bonus..big increment..long live the boss..(sort of la).. but then boss also was screaming on the similar note..hehe..semua makan gaji juga daa..

Welcoming you and me

2009-01-09T13:19:00.000+08:00

This entry came in late for 2009, coz I've been so tight up with last quarter end plus I need to back up for my office mate who went off for maternity leave. Last quarter closing was like madness. With the economic downturn, you can feel the heat and tense all around the corner. Orders were canceled at last min call, customers prefer to halt investment and convert everything to cash, which caused inventory to pile up and revenues reversed. And so I have extra work on returning those machines back to plant. Having calls with Dublin at odd hours to resolve issues and at the same time trying to comprehend their words, it can be stressful. They can sometimes sounds so Irish and trust me..I do sounds so Melayu. Urhh..that's why I prefer emails so that I didn't missed out important points.

Oh well, my 2008 was so much of a reconciling, screening, cleansing and dispositioning year. And a lot of unpredicted avenues as well. Be it in my career or personal life and even the political views have broadened to different horizon.

My early months of the year, was a career struggling phase. I was stuck in some office politics, suffocating me into space that I just need to call it off. I can't deal with hypocrites and suckers, and getting out of that job, makes my life more sensible. I know we all have to struggle to get what we want in life. But I also believe, struggling must also be in a healthy way and not miserable. And that's what important - to be happy with what you're dealing with.

Then baby Qistina came into my life. She's the unpredictable that gives me such happiness that can never be described. It's true that when she smiles, I felt like the whole world really smiled with me. She makes me feel that I am a lovable person and loving her is the best thing I can do.

Being in the Center somehow makes you feel good. Though I have passed the so called opportunity for better career prospects, it had somehow equipped me with vital information on how things run in the Center and most importantly how the top management thinks. Once you know how they think, it’s easier to give what they want upfront rather than having them told you how they want it. And that what makes me on top of their list konon. Friends and colleague still come to seek advises, all sorts that is. You name it - when they wanna resign, when they wanna switched roles, when they broke ups with boyfriends and can't concentrate on work, when they have problem with maids, when they need a sewing kit, when they have breast engorgement, how to eat a lot and maintain slim, how to keep eyebrows well trimmed, how..how..how..They need me when they wanna buy perfumes for their kids, and even the cleaner will ask what’s the time everytime she sees me. Pergh..! And I feel good, sebab rasa macam bagus je..jawatan kecik tapi very influential gitew..Ahaks..perasan. Tu belum kes bila budak-budak gila accounting panggil Diva depan orang ramai dan tanye bila album nak keluar.. arghh!! Gila..I met new friends as well. I’ve made good network with Helpdesk guys. When I have problem with my thinkpad, no need to raise ticket. They would just fix the problem immediately via remote/net meeting (it allow somebody else to have control over your machine while you watch him fixing it. Scary though). And that’s very helpful to my work.

My new boss is just great. He’s one of the old timer in the company. His work values are so different with those young and new-gila-kuase managers that have no substance. He even apologized to me on behalf of the company for what the management has done to me while I was on my previous job. And I’m so glad that he’s my boss though I can sense it won’t be that long.

My relationship with Darlius is getting better and being 10 years older than me gives a lot of advantages. He’s like my future – where I can predict the right step I should be taking. And being a person who always think that she’s always right and clever, Darlius is like my cikgu to makes me feel that I’m not that really clever and there’s a lot more tricks that I need to learn. Heheh. But being a man and even 10 years older, they are still subject to emotion immaturity. Gaduh-gaduh tu biasa la. Sedang kan lidah lagi tergigit..sapu ubat balik..then boleh la gigt betul-betul..Hiks..

End of the year, I've seen many broken marriages where divorces were seemed to be the only resolutions. My deepest sympathy and my pray that life will continue to be better for both.

Last year and so far, I managed to control myself in terms of spending. All cash and no credit cards usage. And I think I’ll stick to it. It’s more safer I guess - to spend within your means. I managed to dispose off my apartment and alfa is now on debt free ride. Sometimes I got over excited to buy new cars like mazda rx8 ke..tapi pikir-pikir macam malas pulak nak berhutang. And in terms of money, I guess the best part was when I fought for my salary increment. I totally rejected my increment coz I believe I deserved more. Giving all justifications and layout all my achievements through out the year, I managed to get what I want. Boss thinks that I’m one hell of a girl. I told him that if I can’t fight for myself, how do you think I wanna fight for the company (konon). Wuhuu..

And yesterday, I just turned down an offer to do internal auditing. Internal auditing has always been my love and forte. Imagine the exposure I would have, doing auditing with the worldwide team, to be able to travel around the world where hotels would be your home. Huhu..but I have to shelf that dream for now, just for Qistina. I can’t afford to be without her for months, be it for 1 day. She’s my priority now.

And last week, I just turned another year older. I’m blessed and thankful for the health though I wish I could stay at this age all the time. I just love being in this age – mentally and spiritually stable, wiser and stronger. Body nampak macam Boxster tapi sebenarnya pakai enjin Perdana V6 je. Hehe..Alhamdulillah.

And so now, closing dah abis and Ana has came back from her maternity leave, that’s why this entry was a bit too long and macam lame je..and it’s about time for lunch. Report tak siap lagi..sebab Friday so rasa macam malasss je.

I can sense and hope that this year will be a great year for me and I wish well to all readers.

Happy 2009 and let's pray and hope for a peaceful world.

self-healed

2008-12-22T14:11:00.005+08:00

Amazing things happen sometimes. I sort of self-healed by Tuesday morning itself. No drugs no nothing, no kidding. I just wrapped myself with my quilt and meditate. And amazingly, by dawn all my sore throat, fever and headache were gone.

I myself was quite puzzled of how that can happened. Question no more. I’m blessed and thankful to my Creator for giving me this great health again.

Maya is Jean Grey

(*image was googled)

spread your love

2008-12-15T11:03:00.005+08:00

Not feeling quite well today. In fact was not feeling well last whole week. I was having fever, sore throat and my body was aching terribly. Most of the time I was sleeping and on medication. And you know how those drugs make your head kinda numb. Ish..tak suka la..rasa macam bodo je. People say its ‘musim’ and some say its viral thingy and so the fever tend to prolong.

And when I was just about to get well, I kinda forgot to complete the antibiotics or rather thought that my antibody was strong, I thrash off my antibiotics. Haha.. And wallaa..after I’ve attended Nadiya’s weeding and Wan’s aqiqah last Saturday, few drops of rain had enough to make me succumb to my bed again. Padan muka. And the head and body was aching like mad. Argghh..!! Nevertheless, I still drag myself to work this morning. Just don’t feel right taking another sick leave again. What would boss think? And how should I explain to the doc? I can’t be telling her that I had thrashed my antibiotics – that would mortify my intellectuality ..hehe. Or maybe I should see different doc this Wednesday. Let the whatever substance that cause me sick spread her love a lil bit more. Then maybe the severity could prescribed me to different antibiotics perhaps. Pepandai je..

And yes doc, I will finish off my antibiotics this time. Hope I can stand till this Wednesday. Sigh*

black beauty

2008-12-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

Leen sms me at 9 pm last nite and it said :

C d moon n stars, look like SMILEY.. Menarik

And while lying on my bed, eating last raya jem tart, I replied :

Huh?? CD apa ?? Aku berlakon ke??

And she replied :

Apalaa..tgk je la. Muka aku tersenyum kat bulan tuh..

And I replied :

Huh? Esok bawak la CD tu.. aku tengok..

And she replied again :

Astaghfirullag..Aku suh kau tengok bulan macam smiley..pergh!!

And I peeked from my window, and replied :

Ish..Awat dok merepek malam2 ni,,Mana ada bulan..Esok la story..

And my ignorance made me missed that black beauty. No wonder I was a bit cranky last nite.

And that you should never use weird acronyms, abbreviations or whatever when smses me..coz I'm a bit slow with that. Sorry.

This is what I've missed - Moon, Venus and Jupiter ; Dec 1st @ 9 pm

time to change

2008-12-01T10:28:00.004+08:00

Wuhuu..December is here again..bziest month of the year..let's just see if I'm able to celebrate new year's eve this time..and I'm expecting THAT big change will happen soon and for good.

mencari permata yang hilang

2008-11-19T16:14:00.003+08:00

I always thought the intimacy I’m having with Darlius is kinda weird. Or it’s weird in terms that I never heard anyone had that kinda relationship. Or maybe that it’s too weird that nobody ever disclosed it. And so it makes me feel either he's crazy or his love for me is the only virtue for all that craziness that we had.

I used to hate it, then after some times I kinda like it and now I'm hooked with it. And Darlius told me that I've made his fantasies came real..whatever that means.

I'm not that young but I'm in phase where I fully appreciate what this body can serve both of us. Though sometimes I do feel like that's the only reason he still loves me coz I’m not a good cook you know. So when the day comes and when I start to do some extensive cooking, you can figure that I may have lost the edge or that magical ~~stroke~~ touch has suddenly turns dry..Heheh

I know it won't guarantee eternity. But I thought, oh well at least there's something I'm good at that makes him cling to me all the times.

And sometimes I wish I can share all these goodness (not Darlius) with the rest of other women. But I guess some things just need to be self learned and discovered. I bet lots of women have their own secret ingredients and have them well kept for their own self pleasure.

And if Darlius is reading this, I’m sure will get well ~~drilled~~ grilled tonite.

And thanks much Azer, for your wonderful YouTube dedication (on right hand side bar). Appreciate it so much. And it matches to this post and me. You deserve a kiss. Kiss..kiss.

nasi lemak to make my day

2008-11-12T13:22:00.003+08:00

I’m well pissed with Darlius for nothing since yesterday. PMS prolly. Hangin satu badan.

And he has asked his boy to send me nasik lemak antarabangsa for my lunch in the office..!! To buy me out, prolly!! Am I that cheap!! Huh..

Is it that hard to just say sorry!! (which I prolly would replied..sorry..sorry..jom naik lorry..bang..:D)

But since the nasik lemak was good..I guess I’m fine now. Or maybe I should just prolong it few more days.. for a new hand phone maybe. Heh!!

To sub the UnSub

2008-11-04T17:36:00.001+08:00

Nothings quite exciting happen this week. And tomorrow, need to settle few personal issues with the bank and Immigration. And last time I went Putrajaya for Maria’s Raya open house, I got lost. Haih..and I always had this thought that the Immi was at Cyberjaya instead of Putrajaya. Like I used to think that Paris is in Italy instead of France. Mmm..oh well.. geniuses they do think awkwardly sometimes..

Hopefully I won’t day dream and get into wrong exit again.

And I will surely be restless running here and there in high heels..ahah..and I wonder if my brother’s sea fishes do foot therapy too…Mmm

p.s - Mystery solved. Already knew the UnSub behind this. Unexpected indeed. Huh!

Makan time again

2008-10-24T11:03:00.027+08:00

We had makan-makan again yesterday..then we had a surprised birthday party for my ex-ex boss..the theme is orange+white..still got invited for her function..coz she lovess me horr..sorry can't talk much..not nice to talk with your mouth full leh..

1st Session - Lunch

The Waiting time

The Hungry Wolves & The Blueberry cheesecake - sedap gilerr!!

The Food - soto.. sedappsss

The Nasi

The Boss and the Mastermind

The Orangies

The Cuties

The Hemsem boys

The Otais and Laura Ashley

The Ntah Apa Apa & Laura Ashley turned Alanis Morrisette

The Kenyangs - malas nak bangun da..

2nd Session - Surprised!!

The Boss terkezuutt and malu - menyorok tepi meja

The Boss - donno how to react and suddenly she thought it's raining

The Moment

The Boss and her first cut

The Boss Cake

The Cup Cakes

The Kepochies

The Over Excited

The Happy Faces

Happy Birthday Boss!!

Breakfast at Tiffviitiga

2008-10-17T11:24:00.006+08:00

On my way to the office this morning, I was thinking of stopping over to buy my fav nasik lemak…tapi tak jadik.. coz people are queuing like semut.

Then I thought..nasik lemak..nasik lemak..tak ade bende lain ke? Mmm..then again as I drove into the office parking bay, I saw the building next to it..seperti melambai-lambai.

Ahhaa..why not have breakfast there. It should be exciting. I’ve tried that in year 2006 (lamanya project terbengkalai) but failed in that mission. Lagi pun it’s Friday kan..so feeling like doing something extra ordinary sikit.

After I’ve logon my TP at my workstation, put on the kensington lock, put on some lipstick, grab my purse and my handphone pinjam adik, I headed to the next building with determination that I must succeed in this mission. Using my utmost confidence face, I gave my identification card to that strict makcik guard. She asked me few questions and after I gave her the secret password she let me through. Walla..

When I reached lobby, I only know one way and it’s blocked. They had shooting at that spot and it’s labeled ON AIR. Aisey..so I thought there must be other way to the cafeteria. And yes..Nancy Drew found it. And at that moment I felt like dancing on the table. Wuhuu.. The spread of food is good and looks delicious too. And all the effort seems so worth after all.

So I had fried mee topped with fried egg+cucumber sikit+peanut sikit and teh tarik. As the kuihs look so yummy, I packed 5 pieces for my break and tea time. Uhuhh.. And all that for only RM5. Gosh..that’s cheap.

I had my good breakfast. Alone and satisfied. And I was like smiling walking my way back to the office while singing silently..kalau anda gumbira.. tepuk tangan clap..clap ..clap.. hehe..

I know it’s not a big deal for those who work or have business affairs to be there. I can understand all the security emplaced around that area. And I don’t think anyone from my building without any specific matters ever dare to purposely have breakfast there. Eh..breakfast is the most important meal tau..

And just because of that thrill, I kept thinking of doing it again. Lunch next time, maybe.

Breakfast @ Tiivviitigga year 2008 - Mission accomplished!!

Ole-ole from jiran - 2 karipap sardines, kuih lapis, kuih koci and kuih panjang tatau nama..

OPEN houses, departments and hearts

2008-10-15T16:52:00.012+08:00

This whole weekends of Syawal will be packed attending open houses and weddings. In fact weekdays will also be squeezed in with slots of open departments in which the main agenda would be nothing but makan-makan ketupat and lemang and dingle mingle in baju melayu. Last week, Sales department had their open unit but I didn’t go sebab malas nak mingle, the Accounting center had theirs yesterday and I didn’t go also coz I was on medical leave and today I have to go coz they have it in my own center.

So apa citer banyak..makan je la.

The FOOD – ketupat, lemang, rendang, serunding, ayam tergolek..

The FOOD again – pita bread, chick curry, kek lapis sarawak..

The BOSS – in 'fanning' process

THE HARDY BOYS – behaving depan pompuan
THE OTAI & HARDY BOYS – the after effect from over eaten of lemangs

The LADIES & Gentleman

Test yourself

2008-10-10T10:33:00.005+08:00

I think it’s rather amazing when I probably need to take my whole life to detail out about my own self but with all these personality tests available, all my self significance can be summarize within few minutes. Dasyat. It can’t be a perfect truth but I can say it’s almost there.

Here’s me;

Test 1 - Personality Test

Straight forward. Once they decided on one thing, will take action right away. very curious and love challenges. dare to face dangers without thinking through (sometimes foolishly). Their weakness is they don't listen to others, will filter in only what they want to hear in a conversation, and very subjective. However because of their straightforward attitude, they tend to be fairly popular.

Test 2 - Dr Phil’s Test

Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader,one who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

All above results are so originally me. It reflects most of my teenage years. But as I grew older, I think I manage to mellow down some of my extreme traits and adapt some of other personality traits and make myself look more versatile (hah..bunyi macam bagus je..)

That 2 different tests, both are highlighting common items about me i.e ini talak takut punya olang..semua juga ada dare..cess

So you can imagine how ~~notorious~~ adventurous I was during my teenage years. I hardly freak in making any decisions and made a lot of quick decision in life be it major or minor. When I said NAK..ahh sudahh..only God can stop me. For me a right or wrong decision can be very subjective. And since I love challenges, I always take all my wrong decisions as part of my challenge to rectify them. Though it can be taxing but wrong decisions can never break me down.

But that was then, now a lot of things have changed. I adapt a lot of other personality traits into life and I feel so beautiful about it. Really. It does keep me out of trouble sometimes. But that doesn’t mean I can run from just being me. ~~Wild~~ Foolish sometimes.

I believe, not only it is wise to know which type of person we are, but also to acknowledge what we are not or lack of. There is no right or wrong, best or worst in each personality because we are special in our own ways. Try to learn others significant strength. It makes us understand other better and we will see a brighter life from there, or so I hope.

Knowing what type of person we are or our friends and even our client do helps in making things flow easier.

**IKLAN – Anda suka promo ini? Hantarkan SMS ke ON SUKA ke 33699 SEKARANG!!..hehehe..acah je..

Actually saya memang tak kenal sapa Dr Phil's ni. Dr Love kenal ramai. But here’s some of Abang Phil’s test results that you may want to pond. If you want me to share more, gimme your email and I’ll forward you. (I don’t know how to link a doc leh..sapa tau buleh ajaq)

Type 1 - Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered and one who is extremely domineering. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

Type 2 (Maya & Dr Phil) - Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, one who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

Type 3 - Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always
cheer them up and help them out.

Type 4 - Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

Type 5 - Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

Type 6 - People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

So what’s yours?

Adik nak makan ke..nak duit raya ??

2008-10-07T08:27:00.005+08:00

This is how some people spent their Raya evening with love ones – at the beach. I was so terkejut-badak to see that huge crowd, I don’t know why. Probably because I was expecting people to do their Raya visits to their relatives, or maybe just hanged out in front of their telly watching nana tanjung while eating ketupat and rendang.

And I supposed to login to do some work (haah memang giler ok) but instead, I just sat by the beach, watching those people clad in their Raya dress, blingers dangling around their neck and arms, lazing around and paying kites. Some even had their kids swimming in the sea as the tide was not that high.

Ahuh.. I just love the beach.

That White Kebaya

2008-09-23T13:46:00.010+08:00

In many of my yearly resolution, there will always be 1 resolution that I can't manage to accomplish or even make any improvement to it. It seems petty for me though some of my girl friends would brag about it and told me that I'm a liar. (Ish..bila cakap betul dia cakap tipu..bila cakap tipu dia percaya pulak..ish)

And girls, today I will reveal the truth.

It's the same old reso that was carried forward year by year. The one thing that I have to admit and people can judge me with, and I would concur to it, that I'm a slacker in self management. You know, when I was a kid mom would shop me Raya clothes for 5 days wear - 2 baju kurung and the rest would be baju kembang-kembang plus those Dorothy red or black shiny shoes. And every night before Raya, I can't sleep coz I got too excited to wear on those clothes. But that was then, and bila dah tue bangka ni..macam tak reti pulak nak prepare baju raya sendiri.

Since I have my own career, I seem to fail to have at least a pair of baju kebaya tailor made 1 month before Hari Raya. I don't know..maybe coz I don't think its important (or is it?) and I don't feel the eagerness nor excitement of having one anymore. I just don't feel any difference in shopping for Hari Raya or shopping like any other days. And when I do shop, I don't shop for baju kurung. Most of my baju kurungs were those rejected items from mom's wardrobe coz she can't fit them anymore. Huhu.

And so I forget. It just slipped my mind. And by the time I remember, it probably Ramadhan month again and no tailor would accept any orders by that time.

And you know what, I hate to go to tailor. The only tailor I know is my mom's and she's expensive but no doubt she's good. I only go to her when I need to have my RM200/meter material tailored once a year and that's probably because I need to attend formal functions which require me to look dazzling so to speak. Yeah..that's one of the heartache criteria I know, not a hard one for me to fulfill though. (cewah-perasan-jap)

And when Hari Raya comes, I would prolly end up wearing a clothes made to attend those formal functions. (bila sudah hilang arah)

And that was when my friends saw me in baju kebaya with beads and sequins all over, they would cynically slashed me with -

“Eh raya sakan you..baju lip lap lip lap.. or "Eh you ni nak pi raya ka..nak pi bersanding..kuakuakua..

And so the following year I would end up wearing my last-min baju raya bought from Isetan (with high chance 2 people wearing the same material), or when my size aren’t available, I put up my usual office baju kebaya tanpa rasa bersalah pun..talk about high self esteem.

And so I admit I'm totally a slacker.

And up till now, I still don't have my Raya clothes. Seriously. I need my mummy now.. Waaa..

Baju kebaya- old fashion sikit.. tapi I suka..and I lurrve white too
All time fav a.testoni - matching tak..?
And a clutch bag to complete.

Haiii..berangan jela tahun ini..Huhu..

Wishing you all Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf dipinta jika tersentuh segala yang zahir dan yang batin.

When Maya speaks to herself

2008-09-18T16:01:00.003+08:00

Nak cuti raya pun macam no mood je..Yang tak tahan tu item no.2..pehal lak nak logon logon.. dah nama cuti.. cuti je la..

Oh no Maya.. that's what you call ownership..you have to own it. You need to treat your job like your own business.

Hah pandai la..bila nak suruh orang kerja suruh treat like your own bloody business.. bila declare profit sharing.. tak dapat punnn..phhbttt!!

Maya..get hold of yourself..you just need logon to check if there's any urgent issues and do whatever is required on 1st & 2nd Sept only...that's all. It's closing and the US is not on holidays. You should know better dear, you're not subject to Malaysian's holiday.

Can I have a little respect here. I'm taking leaves and leave means away..not available. Say if I'm working on Malaysian public holidays..what do I get ?

You'll get to replace it on other day dear..

So you're telling me the value of a public holiday is the same as any other day?

Duhhhh..

Great..So if I'm out of KL..and you know I’m going back to Atlantis ..do you have any freakin’ idea how am I gonna logon? They don't have connections undersea you know..

Well Maya..you should have invested on bluecube or maxis broadband.. then you'll make yourself worth.. or you can go to McD.. they have wireless..and you know what.. instead of combing your hair on that rock by the seaside, you can logon on the rock...i think there's a connection by seaside.. you'll look more versatile don't you think ??

Versatile kepalo korok mung..bluecube is about RM 700++ and maxis coverage is limited.. and don't you expect me to drive all the way to McD just to check bloody emails..

Argghh Maya..such a big headed girl and you do sounds pessimist. You know, with this kinda attitude..don't think you can go far..

Duhh..what makes you think I wanna go far here ? I'm moving out babe..

*Ting..

This is what I think or I wish I'm gonna convey to country :

Dear Team

I'll be away for 5 days from 29th Sept (Monday) till 5th October (Friday) for Hari Raya Aidilfitri break at my hometown - City of Atlantis.

I will either have very limited access to my Notes or unable to get connected at all during these period. Don't bother looking for my backups as she will also be on holidays. For any urgent issue, please contact my Boss coz he's the boss and he should know everything.

I'm giving you notice 1 week earlier, so that you could plan your work and not have it skewed to last week coz I'll be on holiday mood in that week and my response time will be slower.

Or you can also take leaves during that week to feel the sense of togetherness in celebrating Hari Raya. Or else, I will attend to your emails when I'm back in the office. Thank you and have a nice day.

Boleh ?

Seriously, I pity my other officemate who will be working on 1st & 2nd Raya...all cry out man...kalau center tak kasik award for you guys..I just don't know what to say..At least I can still balik kampung..

Three times it was...this morning

2008-09-15T14:40:00.003+08:00

Hahaha..wa sudah jumpa blog boss..Baru lagi..started August 2008. Ehem..ehem..tak nak mintak tips ka boss..?

========================================

I'm seated next to my ex-boss, the center manager and that aussie boss. Since I've moved to different role and no longer under her management, she's not as warm as she used to be. But that doesn't bother me at all. I love my life now. Though we do chat once in awhile, it will be more on personal matters and not work related. Maybe she's much aware of my views on how things work in the center and so rather have it sidelined than to add another headache.

Being seated next to her, I witnessed incidents and heard conversations that most of it I sympathize and thankful that I've made the right choice. Not that I want to, but with my cubicle positioning, I'm well exposed to all these. I saw managers came to see the center managers with clueless face and shattering voice when they got escalations. Explanations were given, trying to defend themselves and to convince that they were actually on top of everything but things do slip and that seemed unacceptable. Tears were almost broken when back of their mind, they knew they had slaved their wits but nothing seemed to be right. And so goes her chance to be in the good book. And so she will be labeled non performer only for that escalation. And all her efforts go down into drain. And she’d been thinking of updating her resume again.

And yesterday, I saw a girl crying in the washroom. She was being consoled by her friends. Reasons - work overloaded, stressed out and unbearable pressure from manager. And I presume that girl also will soon be surfing Jobstreet.com actively and planning to leave before this die-die 3Q end. Lantak korang lah!!.

I wonder if these kinda scenarios are familiar in other company? I know it’s real, I cried over it before. But does it make sense at all? To cry over work? Or kids nowdays are just too pampered?

And today, one of the 'hottest' manager, just came back from her 3 days sick leave. She was called with various nasty names by her staff - bitch, monster, sia , baalifbaya etc. It made no surprised to me when she also used to shout at her staff bodo, shit, fuck you, etc. Her staff even make jokes about her long sick leave "Eh sapa sudah santau dia??" Brutal betul budak-budak nih..I used to have a fight with her, long time ago. But when I made it to quite a high profile role, she suddenly became the most friendly person on earth to me. Eeww..what a snake she is..

I don’t think I can bear, if someone thought about me in that way. I know we can’t please everyone but that was way too low. How can a person make other people feel so miserable and when they were cursed upside down, they still can pretend as if life has treat them good? Can they really sleep at night?

And my nights are the most welcoming phase of each days. ZZZzzzz….

* There are times when my brain just went numb to come out with a title. There's a body but no tittle. So I asked a blogger friend to help me with it. Thanks to you-know-who-you-are who help to come out with lotsa crappy titles . I guess sometimes an abrupt question can trigger you a spontaneous answer of what they had in mind or things they thought of you. That title selected is the least obscene.

Just another Thursday

2008-09-11T13:06:00.004+08:00

There’s nothing much to write about actually - too occupied with meetings. But since I try to be consistent in updating this blog every Monday and Thurday, need to jot at least something. Heheh.

Now I'm sitting in the conference room attending another meeting. And the VOIP is not working and boss got really pissed when he called the OFFICE for assistance and they told him - not our job to fix it thing. Lame excuse again. We then switched room with workable VOIP and dial into the meeting. The attendees were coming from various regions - China, Korea, India and Asean.

I remember, when I first joined the company, I had problem of understanding what they're saying coz their mother tongue slang were deep and I keep on interrupting with my huh? huh? heh??. Especially if it’s from India. I don’t know – maybe I’m not used to it initially. Oh but that was nothing compared to that mamat from Anfield that gave us the stadium tour last year. Seriously, I can't even capture any single English word he's saying. He sounded Irish, really kapak Irish ok. But then Lini was like listening to him attentively. And when I asked her.. Mende dia cakappp.. she just shooshhs me out. And I just gave up and let myself drowned imagining myself playing on the field while waiting for that mamat to finish his crap. Yeah.. scoreeee...

Maya anything to add ? Suddenly my boss's voice kasik interframe juga my half conscious mind.

Erkk yes. And I pressed the speaker button to speak.

I think as we have similar concerns among the regions, it is best if we can include the accounting team as well. If we are only considering the physical idle machine and yet our measurement are based on what the ledger says and so I think we are hitting the wrong ball here. What we have in the warehouse is something within our control but not those figures that hit our accounts which is coming from nowhere and yet we have no control over it. So I think, if that can be addressed, this project will really add values to the process.

Seperti biasala, cakap kena cakap. Kena kasik good impression untuk boss jugak. Or else boss tau wa tengah draft new post untuk blog nih. Hehe..

On way back to my place from the meeting..I saw my boss's boss who used to be my ex-boss last year, at her place. She sat next to my cubicle. I was about to say hi to her but as she's staring at the TP seriously, I just held back. And from corner of my eyes, I saw that very familiar screen on her TP- BLOGGER Edit Post screen. Cehh..waddaya know..surprise surprise..biar betull..big boss pun ada blog juga ka..tihtihtih.. hopefully she won't find me.

Adios.