The Wife at Home

My Marriage, My Idol

2009-10-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

To my dearly beloved fellow sisters in Christ,

One of the biggest strains that I have ever placed on my marriage was the unspoken demand for my husband to be my Lord and savior. It wasn't something that I verbalized, but it was an unattainable, internal standard that I had set for him.

I expected my husband to be perfect and without fault. With this expectation came disappointment and bitterness. When the Bible alluded to the husband being "like Christ" in regards to his relationship to his wife, I took this to mean perfect.

I expected the PERFECT CHRISTIAN HUSBAND.

I charged him with filling the needs and completing tasks that only the Lord could. I expected my husband to know how I was feeling even when I was to hurt and stubborn to verbalize.

I expected him to know what to do to make me happy. I wanted him to meet all of my needs. I demanded that he figure out what it required to make me feel secure.

This kind of thinking began to take a severe toll on the strength of my marriage. It was not until I realized that I had set up an idol. This idol was a detailed mental list of the type of husband God wanted for me. This list transformed from the type of husband God wanted for me into the type of husband I demanded that I have.

I had built an image of my husband, based upon every righteous aspect of the scripture, and then turned it into an idol of worship. If ever my husband did not meet the standards I had formulated, I would become frustrated, resentful and bitter. This showed up in my speech, behavior and attitude.

It wasn't until God began to show me how far away I was from being a Proverbs 31 or Titus 2 mentor that I finally humbled myself.

It amazes me how easily something good can turn bad when we get our hands on it. Needless to say, that I stopped demanding that my husband be perfect and begun the work of allowing God to perfect me. Not only have I grown in the process, but God has molded my husband into the perfect man for me.

I no longer worship who he could be, but I accept and encourage my husband for who he his and where he is. I let God's grace handle the rest.

If you have a husband that you believe is coming up short, be prayerful, focus on the Lord and encourage your husband often. Ask God to help you focus on your husbands goodness. Allow God to use you to be the helpmeet he needs to become the man God predestined him to be.

May the Lord greatly bless you with the reading of these words.

FOCUS ON THE CROSS

2009-09-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

Everything that you are going through right now is bringing you closer to the foot of the cross.

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: I Peter 4:12

Christ is not dead!

He hears your prayers...

He sees your tears...

He knows your pain...

He understands your struggle...

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

HE IS YOUR ANSWER!

Take your eyes off of your problems and Focus On The Cross. Be encouraged as you go about your week. God cares for the things that concern you. Psalm 138:8

A Time to Pray

2009-09-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

Luke 18:1 "And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;"

Luke 21:36 "Watch ye therefore, and pray always, that ye may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of man.

I have found that key to dealing with difficulties within the home is through continual prayer. Whether it be the immaturity of our children that can sometimes frustrate us or the challenges of marriage, we should always utilize the gift of prayer in order to see the situation from the correct perspective.

Romans 1:9 "For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers"

Ephesians 6:18 "Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints..."

Praying is something that can and should be practiced at all times. It may seem a daunting task but, contrary to popular belief, is very easy to accomplish.

Philippians 1:4 "Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy..."

Colossians 1:3 "We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you..."

I learned a little trick that helps me to pray at all times. While folding my families clothes, I will pray for each family member as I come to their article of clothing. I say just a short sentence or two regarding their needs, struggles or anything the Holy Spirit leads me to pray.

Colossians 4:12 "Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God."

1 Thessalonians 1:2 "We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers..."

I do the same thing while reviewing my daily to do list. As I assign and review each of their daily tasks I say a quick pray concerning each family member.

2 Thessalonians 1:11 "Wherefore also we pray always for you, that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of his goodness, and the work of faith with power..."

Philemon 1:4 "I thank my God, making mention of thee always in my prayers..."

This can also be carried out while making plates for meals or while dressing a child or fixing their hair. You can pray for them while you are tidying their room or returning one of their books or toys to it's proper place.

If you are seeking more time to pray for your family begin to look for all of the opportunities that are available and take advantage of them.

With Your Whole Heart

2009-08-25T18:12:00.000-07:00

I am often amazed and yet saddened by some of the comments I hear so called believers make. I do not intend to stand in judgment of any ones walk of faith. We all must "work out our on salvation with fear and trembling". Each of us must determine what we will believe and in who we will place our trust.

The question of whether or not we believed that we trusted God with our whole heart was presented myself and a group of believers. Out of the group of 20 or so I was the only one to eagerly answer "I do!"

It felt awkward to look around and see my classmates ponder the question as if they had only considered the question for the first time at that very moment.

It had seemed all to obvious an answer to me...but what if it weren't obvious?

How do you know if you trust God with your whole heart?

Trusting God means relying on His integrity, strength, ability, commandments and promises.

When things go right in your life do you give God the praise?

When things go wrong in your life do you seek Gods direction?

Before you make decisions do you commune with the Lord?

Are you focused on pleasing God above all else?

All of these and many more are indications of a person who trusts God with their whole heart. Trusting the Lord with your whole heart is not determined by finding the difference between the number of times that you have listened to the Lord and the number of times that you didn't.

Trusting the Lord with your whole heart is making a decision to follow the Lord no matter what.

While you are trusting the Lord you will still mess up and make wrong decisions. You will think you heard God say do this and you did that. Nevertheless, continue to trust Him. Be strong and courageous and TRUST HIM. Be bold in your faith. Stand fast upon his word and TRUST HIM.

Be encouraged!

Taking the Leap

2009-08-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

I am a huge fan of Blogger.com and many of the other free sites available. I have been using blogger for over two years now. However, I realize that in order for my two blogs to have the capability to offer my readers the functionality that I am looking for, I will need to switch to a website hosting company.

Some hosting companies offer very basic services such as standard web hosting where you don't get any technical help, and others offer everything from web design to dedicated server hosting.

I really do not know much about the html. and template codes so I will need a reliable host to be able to offer easy to use templates at a reasonable price. There are many site who offer referrals to some of the best web hosting services but I really like the functionality of WebHostingGeeks.com

The list that the site provides is very informative. Each of the listings include information such as the name of the host company, their ranking and pricing. I never expected for my blog to become a resource for information but now that it is I'd like to make sure that the information is stored somewhere other than blogger and my hard drive.

Many of the pricing plans are very reasonable. Prices range from $1.99 up to $12.95 for web hosting. These are price ranges for hosts who were ranked in the top ten. I would like to merge this blog with A Proverbs Wife sometime down the line, but in order to do so I will need much more functionality that what is offered for FREE through blogger.

I am prayerfully considering the direction that God wants to take both of my blogs and patiently waiting to see how it all come together in a final package.

The Christian Wife

2009-08-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

She has a responsibility...

To Submit to Her Husbands Authority

Ephesians 5:22
Colossians 3:18

**This includes unsaved or unbelieving husbands

I Peter 3:1

To love her husband

Titus 2:4

Submission is not...

...obedience like a child obeys a parent.

I Peter 3:7~ Dwell with your wife with understanding, grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of Jesus Christ.

The way that the husband treats the wife is how he treats himself, because they are one in the eyes of God through marriage.
Gen 2:23-24

...is not something to be feared.

A man of God has a responsibility to love his wife the way that he loves himself which includes his actions toward her.
Ephesians 5:28-29

...is not her losing her personality or uniqueness in place of her husbands.

Submission is...

...supporting your husband by accepting his leadership.

...seeking to listen to his direction concerning the family and direction for the family.
I Peter 3:6

...assisting him in carrying out the vision for the family.

...becoming his "helpmeet". Genesis 2:18

Condiment Coupon

2009-08-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

The next time I go shopping I am going to look for NAKANO Seasoned Rice Vinegar on the condiment isle.

My family has recently become non-meat eaters and are slowly transitioning to removing animal based dairy products from our diets as well. As we do so, I found that we are eating more salads, grains and pastas. With the lack of meat I have had to become more creative in my seasoning techniques.

I've recently purchased Terryaki and Tamari sauce to use in Asian recipes and was very pleased with the flavor. I am excited about trying NAKANO Seasoned Rice Vinegar on some salad recipes I have planned for the future.

To learn more about the NAKANO brand of products visit their site. While you are there you can also sign up for the Splash Recipe Club after which you will receive a FREE recipe booklet, coupons and more. While you are waiting to receive your coupons in the mail, print a coupon to save $1 off Nakano Rice Wine Vinegar.

This is a great coupon especially for those of us who are trying to eat healthy. Many companies are now recognizing that and are offering discount coupons as an incentive to buy their products. The coupon is good until 12/2009.

Return Unto the Lord

2009-08-14T03:12:00.000-07:00

In a misguided quest to be the perfect wife and mother, we have become blindsided to the true purpose of our calling. We are called to demonstrate a Christ-likeness in our behavior and speech.

Our ability to be perfect is unrealistic and unobtainable.

We cannot be perfect but we can be loving, kind, patient, faithful and obedient to God. What do people see in you?

Do they see you as loving, honest, patient and forgiving person? Do they see fairness in your stern judgment?

Perhaps they see hypocrisy and bitterness.

Are we demostrating a true image of who Christ is? In order to be a true example of Christ we must have a true relationship with God. Our end goal cannot be worldly ideals of perfection.

A true relationship begins with time spent daily in the presence of the Lord. Our relationship with God is unlike any other we will ever experience. We need to spend time with God to become better people. There is no other relationship that is able to refresh, strengthen, direct and encourage us like our relationship with God.

We can seek these benefits in our relationships with our spouses, or in the hours on the phone with our friends. We can imagine that we have grasped those benefits of time spent with God, in the time we spend staring into the eyes of our infant children. However, what we get from these experiences can never replace what we gain from time spent with God.

What are we seeking when we spend time with HIM?

1~Knowledge of who He is
2~Knowledge of who we are
3~Understanding of the purpose and plan for our life
4~A mirror in which to view our actions and thoughts
5~Direction for discipling our children

I remember when I used to nag my husband about not reading any books other than the Bible. I would read Christian self help books, devotionals, study guides and commentaries. I would read novels, literature, historical fiction and non-fiction alike. I thought that due to his lack of literary knowledge that my husband would grow old and not know a thing about the world.

But oh..that God was so mindful of me to bless me with such a wonderful and wise husband. I have come full circle only to learn that if there were only one book that I could have in the world, it would be my bible.

The holy text holds the answers to everything that we need. Therefore we must spend daily quiet time in Gods word. We must carry on a continual conversation with God.

It’s o.k. to talk to God while you do your homekeeping or while you are at work. We must store His word in our hearts by meditating on scripture. Finally, we must put away they busyness that keeps us from pursuing a relationship with God.

If you were to ask my children what is the most important relationship in my life they will tell you that “nobody comes before God”. There should be nothing more important than your time with God. It has to be a priority. I could never be an example of Christ without spending time with God.

No amount of time spent with God will make me a perfect Christian. What the time does do, is grants me to humbleness of mind to admit when I have sinned and fallen short of Gods glory. It reminds me that I am not my children’s Lord and savior. It reminds me that I am a joint heir to the throne of Christ with my children. It reminds me of my desperate need for a relationship with the Lord.

Make a commitment today to renew your relationship with Christ. Take the steps needed to clear your plate and re-prioritize your focus. Desire not be perfect but to be HIS.

HOPE is in the LORD

2009-08-11T12:02:00.001-07:00

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. Psalm 42:5

Do you know that the joy of the Lord can be your strength? Do you not recognize the power that comes from unfettered obedience to God?

He desires that we flourish, yet we sit trapped in the bondage of despair and depression. We fail to see the hope in dire situations because we have taken our eyes off of Him.

What is it that sets us apart from the unbelievers, but our hope that the fact that God's words are true. Why do we give up when the storms of life come, Knowing that "If God be for me, who an be against me?"

The storms are for your good. Do you not know that we ought to glory in our tribulations, knowing that tribulations bring about patience?

So how then should we react during the storms?

1~Stand firm on the word of the Lord knowing that everything that He has promised you shall come to pass. (Hebrews 10:23)

2~Continue to surround ourselves with other strong believers that will encourage us to think and to do good during this time.
(Hebrews 10:24-25)

3~Continue in prayer for strength and obedience during this storm.

4~Maintain a joyful countenance and mind frame. (James 1:2)

Do not despair when troubles come. Don't believe that you are the only one going through what you're going through. Trust God and know that he has already worked the situation out for your good. Take your eyes off the circumstance and place it on the only true solution which is God.

Children...A Gift from the Lord

2009-08-06T16:16:00.000-07:00

As a mother I have a responsibility to teach my children to love the Lord with all of their heart, mind, body and soul. This love cannot be forced, but must be allowed be accepted willingly.

God does not force himself upon us and has given us the free will to decide whom we will serve.

In order for me to help my children choose wisely, I have to show them a true representation of who God is. There are a few things that we must remember when leading our children to the Lord.

We cannot make them follow God with their hearts. Just because our children follow our family rules whether they be our preferred way of doing things or our Biblical rules, we must endeavor that they learn to be obedient out of love.

They must see that our relationship with God is a priority.
They must see that spending time with God is of the utmost importance to us. Our children should know that we pray for them and their father. They must know where mother gets her strength, hope, peace and joy. Teach them that your relationship with God comes first, then husband, children, home and then the church (friends). Teach them that when the relationship with God is balanced all the rest will balance out as well.

Teach them to overcome the sin in their lives. Are we holy on Sunday and hellish Monday-Saturday? I am not referring to striving daily to grasp the patience to mother calmly and lovingly. What I am referring to is the evil that can fester in our hearts and minds. The thoughts of bitterness and anger towards our children can be seen in the way that we speak to them and interact with them.

In order to overcome the challenges of parenting we must be an open book. This takes humility, prayer and repentance. Do not be afraid to share with your children how much you need their help. Tell them how much it helps you when they, for example...do their chores the first time they are asked.

Let them know that you are working on the Fruit of the Spirit "patience". Tell them how they can help you. Ask them to pray that anger be taken far from you each morning. To hear a child pray for the salvation of mother is such a humbling sound. I have overheard my own children pray for me many times. I have been brought to tears over the sincerity of their desire that I be holy and acceptable in the sight of God.

We cannot be hypocrites. We cannot fool our children no matter how we try. They know who we are when we take off our public face. We cannot be a hypocrites, for if we do we will run the risk of misrepresenting God to our children. We must be the light of the world for our children. We must strive not to put on a show for friends, but should endeavor to be our best for our children. Let us restructure our loyalties. Let us concern ourselves more with the face that we put on for our children first and our face for other believers will follow suit. Let our behavior at home be that of which we profess to believe.

No one of us will ever be perfect, but we can seek the will of God in our daily lives that He may perfect those things in us which are imperfect.

She Does Him Good...

2009-07-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

I have found that society has done no justice in teaching women how to properly care for her husband. Some of our mothers, grandmothers and aunts may have not done a superb job of it either. However, I'd like to try and shed a little light on the subject of caring for the delicate needs of our men.

If your husband is anything like mine, he is a provider and protector. He the strong. He is courageous and he is always willing to shield his family from the storms of life.

He is everything we want in a husband, but do you know what his vulnerability is?...

YOU!

Our husbands are quite vulnerable to us as wives. We have the POWER to keep him or push him away. We have the POWER to build him up or tear him down.We can use that ability to make him better or to make him worse.

The POWER of our words can cause our husbands to want to cleave or to leave. If we are the argumentative type that always has to have our way, then you will surely drive him away. He may not be gone today but with each argument, you will slowly wear away at the bond that holds you together.

Foolish Wife~ Proverbs 9:13 A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.

Wise Wife~ Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

The POWER of our behavior can cause our husbands to trust or distrust us. Are we honest and upfront about what we spend out if the family budget? Are we honest about what we do with our time? Do we hide things from our husbands or lie to them? This includes what some call little lies like sneaking an ingredient into a meal that he said he does not like?

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

It does not matter if he knows or not. When our children watch us do things that go against our husbands wishes we are teaching them that it's o.k. to disregard authority as long as you don't get caught. Dishonesty destroys bonds. How can you be made ruler over the greater tasks when you cannot be faithful with the little tasks?

Proverbs 31:10-12 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

The Power of our appearance can influence or husbands to be better men of God. Our husbands are very much influenced by our carnal; appearance but I want to bring to light a more eternal appearance. Let us put on the apparel of obedience to our husbands.

We must choose to put this on each day. It is not a once and for all choice for most of us, but it is none the less...a choice. It is one that is made out of love and a willingness to yield to the will of God.

A husband can be encouraged in his personal walk with Christ to see his wife put on the characteristics of holiness, mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience and forgiveness in our interactions with him and your children.

We all have areas where we are still learning and growing in Christ. Let us encourage one another towards excellence through the word of God.

Proverbs 24:3-4 Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: 4 And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

What Do I Do Before the Storm?

2009-07-21T04:02:00.000-07:00

Facing the storms of life can be one of the hard, yet they have the potential to empower us. In order for us to become successful at exiting the storms with our faith still intact, we must train during the times when we are experiencing peace in our lives.

Make it a habit to read the Bible daily. Find a time during the day or night that you can devote to reading a minimum of one chapter of the Bible each day. The word of God is a weapon and not reading the Bible leaves you defenseless.

Meditate on Gods word daily through memorization of scripture. Choose verses of the Bible that encourage you and think on them daily. If you are bold enough write them on your bathroom mirror and windows throughout your home. Use a dry erase marker which can easily be wiped clean. Imagine being able to meditate on His word while you wash your face and brush your teeth. How much more peace would you have reading his word on the window above the kitchen sink? If you store His word in your heart during times of peace, they will be easier to recall during life's trials.

Learn how to pray with power and faith. To obtain prayer that brings about resolution you must have faith in God. Your faith must lie in the belief that God is able to do what He promises in His holy scripture. You must also pray the will of God and not your own expectation. God will not operate outside of His will. In order to pray the will of God, you must have a relationship with God. This relationship is developed by reading the Bible, meditating on scripture, being obedient to the word and praying for an outcome that glorifies God. You must pray for Gods will even when the outcome is one that you do not desire.

Pray constantly and consistently. Prayer is not just for bedtime. Satan is banking on you not praying. He is hoping that you look at prayer as a redundant chore rather than an ongoing conversation with God. Please do not be fooled. It is Gods desire that we communicate with Him all of the time.

If you have been struggling in any of these areas pray and ask the Lord to remove those things that are drawing your attention away from Him. Make your desire to rekindle the relationship known to Him. God loves you and is waiting for you to come back to Him.

Your Labor is not in Vain

2009-07-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

I sometimes find myself cringing at that messages that I believe God sometimes asks me to convey. For one I, like most people, on some level fear rejection and persecution. However, the fear does not run deep enough for me to refuse to be God's messenger.

Not only does the thought of rejection and persecution make me apprehensive but, so does the feeling of not being worthy. Nobody knows more clearly than oneself all of the sinful and reproachable things that they've done yet to still have God look at you and say "You are the one that I have chosen" is beyond comprehension.

Paul says it like this "For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.
But by the grace of God I am what I am, and HIS grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain...I Corinthians 15:9-10"

My spirit was burdened this evening with the thought of how passive we have become as believers. We have become passive in regards to Gods standards. We have brushed aside many fundamental Biblical principles by labeling them "Old Testament Legalism". We have strayed so far from the will of God that we have the audacity to scowl at God's word whenever it infringes on our acceptable status quo.

For instance, why do some "Christian" women become defensive when the word submission is spoken aloud? Is this not a biblical principle found all throughout scripture?

And why do some "Christians" give you the death stare at the mention of Halloween being a holiday that does not glorify God. I've had some "Christians" try to convince me of how they are not celebrating Halloween but, that they are celebrating "All Hallows Day" or "All Holy Day". Nothing I've seen in the way that "Christians" celebrate Halloween differs from the way in which unbelievers celebrate Halloween.

What if an angel of the Lord came down from Heaven and told you that the reverencing of the "day of the dead" is repulsive to God, would your family fore go Halloween this October?

We, as believers, have formed some habits over the years which I will refer to as "worldly customs". These habits have become so normal for us that we are not even disturbed by there existence.

I flipped through the channels this evening and landed on the J.K. Rowling's special. The reporter stated that the first three Harry Potter movies grossed somewhere around 4 billion dollars. I silently wondered how many "Christian" dollars were included in that number.

The reporter then went on talk about the hours of research that went into choosing the spells, sorcery and witchcraft material included in the books and movies. I hear some "Christians" talk of how they must get the latest book for their children and I wonder if they've overlooked the fundamental biblical principle that says:

"When thou art come into the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.There shall not be found am long you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch. Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer". Deuteronomy 18:9-11 (KJV)

"When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in a fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead". Deuteronomy 18:9-11 (NIV)

We must get past the lure of worldly pleasures and get back to the "Good Works" of God. "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies...of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God." Galatians 5:19-20(KJV)

We are in a dangerous place as believers when we read the word of God and not be compelled to conform to it. This is an indication that we have accepted the ways of the world as normal. Romans 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

That good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God is what I desire, so much so that I am willing to die for it I Cor 15:31. I mean that both physically and spiritually. I pray that I don't have to experience a physical death for my faith however, I do understand that in order for me to grow and change into the image of Christ that I must die spiritually.

If you are upset by what I have written and refuse to change, don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger. The word of God is what it is. I will tell you that, I am not concerned with your hurt feelings. I am more concerned with your salvation.

God has given us the power to be victorious over the sin in our lives. If you realize that there are some habits that you have picked up that do not glorify God, begin by telling HIM that you have messed up. Next, tell him that you want to do better and that you need HIS help. Finally, implement and accountability partner. It could be your spouse, a friend or family member. You will need to surround yourself with support and encouragement.

This subject matter may be a touchy one for many believers and unbelievers alike. You may not all agree with what I have written however, this is my blog and if what I write is offensive to you in anyway feel free to disagree in the privacy of your own home.

I am not open to any confrontational comments or debates. I will not participate in vain disputes over faith. Either you agree or you don't. I will on the contrary, address civilized questions and or comments.

1 Corinthians 15:58 (KJV)

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

Children...Mama's Helper's

2009-07-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

When our children were younger I devoted countless hours to their care and comfort. I attended to their cries and was readily available to shower them with attention.

As they grow older they learn to care for themselves more and more. My children range in age from 5-15 are able to operate the mechanics of our home short of the financial aspects.

From the first time that I see my children demonstrate a desire to take responsibility for themselves and their surroundings, I've taken advantage of that desire.

I have always raised my children as though I may not be around tomorrow.

I cultivate a desire in my children to be responsible for their property and areas.

I teach them how to make basic meals for them selves. The (2) younger children should know how to pour drinks, set a table setting and prepare a simple snack like crackers and peanut butter. They are taught to clean up after eating. The older children learn to prepare side items for meals and then the main courses.

The benefit of allowing children to take responsibility for the day to day operation of their home life gives them a sense of responsibility. The best part is that it gives mom a reprieve from caring for the basic needs of the entire family.

Spiritual Warfare

2009-07-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 9:26-27

I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

This is a passage of scripture intended to encourage warriors. Oh...did you not know that a warrior is one of your duties as a woman of God?

Yes, you are a warrior...one who is willing and able to do battle. However "we fight not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of darkness of this world and against spiritual wickedness in high places".-Ephesians 6:11-12

In other words our battle is against satan. Satan wants to steal your hope, your joy, your peace and your salvation amongst many other blessings given to you of God.

Not only does satan desire to take from you, he also wants to destroy you, but God in His infinite wisdom has already made a way of escape. -Luke 22:31-32, I Corinthians 10:13

Paul uses the phrase "But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection" as a way of describing rigorous training and discipling of the flesh. The spirit can be willing yet the body weak which is why we must study the word of God daily. In order for us to win any battle in our lives we must be prepared for spiritual warfare. The only way to be prepared is to be equipped with the word of God.

One of the most powerful weapons a women of God can posses is faith in HIS word. When satan tries to burden you down with financial woes, speak the word of God. As a result your outlook on the situation should improve. If it does not than you must consider whether or not you believe that God is able to perfrom. When we speak God's word in our circumstances we allow God to fight our battles.

That is the result of faith in God's word. Arguing with your spouse over troubles is not going to defeat satan. Choosing discord as a response to trouble gives satan the victory over your life. You must learn to speak the word of God into your life until it becomes alive.

God's word is a living word and it has the power to overcome any trial.

Ornaments of Meekness and Quietness

2009-07-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

I Corinthians 6:11

And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Have you ever found yourself doing the very thing you vowed you didn't want to do anymore?

You said you wouldn't fuss at your children any more. You said that you'd be more submissive and less argumentative towards your husband from now on.

All would go well...for a while and before you knew it you were back to yelling and rebelling.

You desire to have a meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4) yet somehow the ability to perform it eludes you.

Why is it that no matter how many times we vow that these are the characteristics we desire do they still evade us?

When we yell at at our children and argue with our husbands it is not good for us or for our families. It causes everyone physical, mental and emotional damage.

It is not so much the raised voice when speaking to our children, or the fact that we may disagree with our husbands that is the problem. Calling a child in a loud voice from one end of the house to come and clean his room is not damaging to his metal and emotional health. Telling your husband your opinion regarding a pressing decision is not what causes cracks in the foundation of your marriage.

The yelling and rebellion that cause the damages are the one motivated by frustration, irritation, disdain and malice.

When we go beyond sharing our opinion in a situation to nagging we begin to wear away at our husbands focus and ability to lead.

When we use yelling as a form of discipline we begin to tear down the fibers of our children's metal and spiritual health. We require that our children show self control yet we lose control of ourselves with every shriek and shrill.

We are the rebellious and riotous ones. (Exodus 4:1, 16:2, I Sam 15:23, I Cor.. 6:10). This behavior that displease the Lord.

How do we begin to become better......?

Reader Comment: Submission

2009-06-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

I received the following comment from a reader...

I have a question that I hope you'll be able to answer. So, if I'm to understand, your husband is the captain of the ship, with you being second in command. What happens if you truly disagree with something that your husband does, with say the finances? What if your husband wants to invest in something that you have strong reservations about... How would this play out in your family? Would you voice your opinion, but then your husband gets the last say no matter what?

Interesting blog; I enjoy reading different perspectives to mine :)

=========================================================================

What happens if I truly disagree with something that my husband does?

The commenter used finances as an example which was my final line of defense in my decision to submit. It is the one area that I have struggled with the most but with each opportunity to submit to my husbands leadership, I've learn that:

#1- My husband is capable of leading our family in every aspect

#2- God already has a back up plan for my husbands mistakes

What do I do when my opinion differs from my husbands?

As a wife I am made to be my husbands help meet. God appointed me to be helper for my husband. Not only that but, He has also equipped me with some qualities that my husband needs. My husband happens to understand how important my opinion is and demonstrates that by asking me for my input on every decision that is pertinent in our marriage.

He hears me out and takes into careful consideration what I have said. He prays alone...and with me...to seek the guidance of the Lord. This act alone gives me enough confidence to surrender my will if my husband decides to do something different than what I've suggested.

Has my husband always been this great of a guy? No. (nor have I always been the wife I am today)

The way that I see it is that I can build him up or tear him down. When I began to demonstrate my allegiance to his leadership abilities His faith became stronger. I was no longer an obstacle that he had to fight against in his journey towards a resolution to a dilemma.

Imaging trying to figure out the solution to a life changing situation, knowing that the one person who should have your back, secretly or openly thinks that you are doomed to fail?

That's got to be rough on a man's psyche. I decided to become his #1 cheerleader in life. To be a true helper, I had understand his interests, dreams, weaknesses, strengths, struggles. When I began to be more supportive and less rebellious, headstrong, stubborn, strong willed and demanding, I was able to understand the reasoning behind some of his decisions.

What puzzles me sometimes is this..."How can we be totally comfortable with submitting to a supervisor on a job, more than our own spouses?". We don't dare speak to our supervisors in the manner in which we often speak to our spouses. We don't defy our supervisors refusing to carry out their vision for the employees. We accept company changes with out as much as a peep. Why?

When I disagree with my husband...

~If the issue is a matter of our biblical principles or moral foundation, I ask God to reveal scripture concerning the situation. The only reason why I would not submit to my husband is if he were asking me to sin or condone sinful behavior on his part.

~I express it calmly. I pray for direction in using the proper tone and words. I am known to raise my voice to get my point across, therefore this is a step that I must take.

~I ask God to help me use words that my husband understands. My husband and I do not communicate the same way and it helps to speak his language.

~I ask God to help me to accept my husbands decision if it differs from mine.

~I ask God to help me see where I could be wrong.

~I pray for direction for my husband.

~I accept the fact that neither of us are perfect

What helps me surrender to the leadership of my husband?

1. Knowing that it is God that has commanded me to submit to my husbands leadership, not my husband. My husband has been placed in this position by God. My husband was not given the an option to accept or decline. It is an absolute.

2. Knowing that no matter what decisions my husband makes, God is will take care of us both. God has a back up plan for our shortfalls.

3. Being confident in my husbands faith and relationship with the Lord.

4. Knowing my husbands love for me and his desire to do his best for me.

Submitting is not easy. Our submission must start with God as the center of our focus, not our husbands. We obey God, thereby we submit to our husbands. We must submit to our husbands with an attitude of faith with our eye’s are set upon the Lord

Once we have truly surrendered to God, submission will be the natural outworking of the Holy Spirit within the Christian. Godly submission isn't something you try to perform, it is the natural fruit of a close walk with Christ.

10 Tips for Biblical Womanhood

2009-06-18T02:41:00.000-07:00

1~ Love God with a passion and show it. It should not be a mystery that you have a love relationship with God.

2~ Love your husband and show it. Encourage him and use your talents to help him be his best. A strong women is not described by how little she makes her husband look. A strong women is described by her ability to use what talents God has given her to make her family unit a success.

3~Make your home a priority. Work towards making home a haven for every family member. Keep the natural order of the family in focus God, husband (marriage) and then children.

4~Respect and consider your children. Encourage them to do and be their best. Raise them up to make God the primary focus of their lives.

5~Learn to communicate. Start by talking less and listening more.

6~Teach your children life principles such as integrity, money management, academic excellence, self confidence, self control and dependence on God.

7~Learn to do right--James 4:17 "Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin."

8~Be a friend.

9~Win your children's friends for Christ--encourage them to choose good friends and allow those friends to spend time with your family. (I Corinthians 15:33)

10~Learn wisdom--Pray and study scripture

Just Enough

2009-06-16T00:36:00.000-07:00

I am not the kind of Home Maker that sits at home watching daytime television while the laundry goes undone. Dinner is always made and served around 5'ish, and the kitchen and common areas are spotless by 7'ish.

I am quite sure that it's the same way at your house or some similar resemblance of an organized home.

However in the midst of keeping my home running like a well oiled ship, I have noticed that some areas have fallen by the wayside.

One thing in particular that seems to often get placed on the back burner is ME.

Now, please don't jump to any conclusions. I am not about to advocate a girls weekend away at the spa for some pampering. Nor am I going to indulge in the idea of a week long woman's retreat to get me pumped up and back on track.

What I am talking about is something much simpler.

I have noticed that I haven't been going that extra mile in caring for myself as much as I normally would. Some days I am just TOO TIRED to wash my hair, put on make-up or shave my legs.

None of these things are done everyday, but if I am in a crunch for time or energy, I am quite sure that something from my pampering routine will be neglected.

Are these things going to place an emotional strain on my marriage? I quite sure they won't. I do however believe that once we stop doing something long enough, it becomes normal.

I don't desire for unshaven legs, disheveled hair and chipped nail polish to become the norm. Often something such as a week of caring for a sick child will throw me off of my beauty regimen. This is quite understandable. And so, I shaved my legs, applied my make-up, washed and styled my hair and put on my lotions and perfumes.

Guess what???...

He noticed!! My husband noticed...He is such a sweet man.

He rubbed my legs while we watched a movie and all of a sudden he asked, "Did you shave your legs?".

I answered "Yes", and he continued to stroke my smooth legs.

I am so looking forward to my beauty routine tomorrow.

You can read about my daily facial routine here.

Tour of my Home Making Binder

2009-06-15T05:19:00.000-07:00

I wanted to make a video but still have not been able to get it to upload. I have instead created a pictorial tour of my HMB.

Section #1: Schedules

The first page of my coupon binder can be found here. I use both sheets found on page (2).

I slip the pages inside of a clear sheet protector and write on them with a dry erase marker. Each morning I date the sheet and begin filling in the days menu and home~keeping tasks.

The sheet has (3) section dedicated to Morning, Afternoon and Evening routines. There is space to write in the meals and boxes to check off the tasks as they are done. The thing that I love about this sheet is that it has the very same verse that I quote to myself and my children when we are having a tough morning.

Psalm 118:24 "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

The sheets wipe off easily every night and is ready to be filled in the next morning.

The next sheet in my HMB is a calendar. I have a few throughout my binder. This one is the easiest to access.

The next page is my workout schedule at the YMCA. I have the monthly schedule and I've highlighted the classes that I'd take for each day.

Section #2: Home-Making

This is a reference guide of our daily tasks. It has everything listed here that needs to be done each day. This sheet was downloaded and edited using the Donna Young, Housework Document

Here is a closer view of the sheet. These are the basic tasks that should be completed each day. Things such as making beds, brushing teeth and tidying rooms. This sheet does not include community chores.

This sheet works especially good if I am not at home, my husband can just refer to this sheet to have a quick reference guide of my expectations.

Next I have the weekly at a glance schedule.

Here is a close up.

In the center of this form is our monthly home-making chores at a glance.

And just beneath are the quarterly tasks such as winterizing the lawn, washing the house sorting and donating clothes, etc.

Sometimes my children will forget that they are supposed to be working and not playing during chore time. I use the next few sheets with biblical reminders of the importance of diligent workers.

Here is one that teaches Godly attitude toward parents.

and here's one that promotes peace at home with family and siblings.

These can all be found at doorpost.com, however these sheets are no longer FREE. They do have a great sheet for mothers that is FREE and a Courtship Checklist if you are in that stage of life with your children.

The next page is a handwritten documentation of what I mean when I say "Go and do your kitchen chores". Everyone's standard is different as to what they consider as a job well done. I have written a specific out line of what a clean kitchen looks like according to mom's standard.

I wrote this sheet after hearing one too many "Well it looks clean to me" from my children.

Below is a handwritten checklist that the children can refer to anytime they'd like to go and play. If its a Saturday morning I'll ask "Did you do your morning chores?" . They can quickly refer to this page to answer the question as to whether or not they can play the X-box. If they see that they have not done a chore then they will go do the chore and then get permission to play.

Section #3: School

I keep awards, statewide test scores, report cards, weekly schedules and doctor's excuses in the section. I have a page with the contact info of all of the children's classmates and teachers. I have a school calendar in this section. I also have each of the children's class schedules in here. If I need to pick them up fro school I'll know exactly where they are supposed to be.

When I am homeschooling this section is used for my children's lesson plans/ I use page (2) of the fullpagedaily.

Section #4: Menu

There was a time when I would make menus every week. I began keeping those menus to use as a spring board for future menus. Whenever I am making my weekly menu I just refer back to old menus and pick meals from them. I have about 15 pages worth of meal ideas. Just like the one below.

In the front of my menu section is a Food Storage cheat sheet. I use this to determine the shelf life and freezer life of any food. I found this at Publix last year on the publication rack.

I write my weekly menu in here on a sheet protector and erase it at the end of the week.

I also keep a copy of the Hillbilly Housewife $45 Menu and the $75 menu in my binder just in case. Proverbs 31 states "she has no fear of the snow for her household is covered in scarlet".

I am very resourceful a have learned to hope for the best and plan for the worst.

Below is a daily kitchen work sheet that helps you to prepare the kitchen the day before for the following day. This sheet accompanies the menus above. I have used the same idea to stay on top of meals in my kitchen.

In the menu section you'll also find a pantry checklist.

This section helps me stay on top of activities the children are involved in at church.

The final section is for household rules and rule for living. Below is the fist from in the rules section. It covers a general outline for our lives according to the King James Bible.

I hope that you are able to grasp a general idea of how helpful a Home Making Binder can be to managing a home and family.

This post is proudly shared at Kelli's place.

Menu Plan Monday

2009-06-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

This is my menu for the week which can be found in my Homemaking Binder.

Monday

Beef Stew with diced potatoes & carrots
Steamed rice
Corned Bread

Tuesday

Fried Pork Chops, Steamed Rice and Spinach

Wednesday

BBQ Meatloaf, Steamed Rice & Fried corn

Thursday

Chicken Enchiladas, Red beans and Rice

Friday

Tacos & Salad

Saturday

Sloppy Joes or Chicken Quesadillas

Sunday

Pork Tenderloin, steamed rice, gravy, green beans and cornbread

Enduring the Struggle

2009-06-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

Job 2:10...Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?

How do you react when life deals you an ugly hand? Do you pout? Do you blame others? How about God?...Do you find yourself asking God how could you do this TO ME?

How many times have we thought to ourselves...why do "I" have to go through this? Or why couldn't "I" do such and such? When we focus on ourselves in the midst of our struggles we lose site of the bigger picture. Focusing on "I" can mean the difference in us becoming bitter as a result of our circumstances instead of better.

We believe that we know what's best for us. We forget that His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are His ways are ways (Isaiah 55:8).

So how should we respond to struggle in a way that brings Glory to the Lord. Let us look at Luke 22:41-43

"And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him."

Jesus was drawn away from where he was and from who he was with- There will be some situations in which spouse, family, friends and neighbors won't be able to help.

Jesus kneeled down- Kneeling is an indication of humility and submission. Certain situations undeniable bring into perspective our limitations. Jesus demonstrated His respect and reverence for God's authority over His life by kneeling before Him.

Jesus prayed-Jesus wanted God to consider a Plan B of sorts. Jesus asked God to reconsider His plan, however Christ was confident that God had his best interest at heart. Jesus knew what God had told Jeremiah "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." When we rely on God's word we can pray knowing that He will answer. We can rest assured that God has a good plan for our lives even if it does not appear to be so during our struggle.

Knowing how God felt about him and what God desired for his future allowed Jesus to resign himself to God's plan even if He may not have completely wanted to endure it. Have you resigned yourself to God's plan for your life? Have you said to God in the midst of your struggle "Nevertheless, not my will but thy will be done"

Once Jesus surrendered to God's will concerning his fate, He received a supernatural strength. Supernatural strength can be described as "being enabled , endowed or equipped to achieve, endure or accomplish something that one would not have under any other circumstances be able to achieve, endure or accomplish." God gives us the power to overcome our situations and emerge victoriously.

This is the glory and power of God that is upon our lives. We don't have to be prisoners of circumstance. God has already made a way for us to escape. (I Cor. 101-13)

Summer Routine

2009-06-04T01:42:00.000-07:00

As a mother of four children ranging in age from 5 to 15 years old, I find it beneficial to construct a daily schedule for my children. Having a written out daily routine gives the children direction, goals and responsibilities.

Morning Routine

Bathroom- This is mostly a reminder for my 5 year old.
Make Beds
Tidy Bedroom

BREAKFAST

Kitchen Chores
Hygiene- Brush teeth, Wash face, Groom hair, Moisturize skin

Family Devotional Time- Click Here for the Elementary Lessons I use. My 15 year old rotates between Beth Moore's "Beloved Disciple" Bible Study Workbook and Heart Connex

Cartoons/Indoor Activities-~XBox, ~Card Games, ~Board Games, etc.

Outdoors (group activities)- YMCA, FREE Bowling, Backyard Play

(2) School Subject- Math & English (including Literature & Language Arts)
Monday-Spelling Words 5x's ea., Tuesday-Sentences, Wednesday- Reading Comprehension, Thursday-Reading Comprehension, Friday-Handwriting/Narrations

My children believe that summer should resemble one continuous day at Disney World, but in the real world Daddy still has to go to work and Mommy still needs to care for the home.

LUNCH

Weekly/Daily Jobs
Kitchen Chores

(1) School Subject- History

Free Reading
Quiet Time/Naps
Dinner Helpers
Outside

Having a daily routine helps keep the children busy doing productive things to help around the house. It allows me to incorporate their skills and talents into my daily routine.

DINNER

Kitchen Clean-up
Showers/Brush Teeth

Bible Reading- Proverbs/Psalms reading plan

T.V time- Wheel of Fortune & Jeopardy
Prayer
Bedtime 8:30 PM for younger children...9 PM for older children

A schedule allows me to carve out time to teach each child new skills and work with them to improve others. I am looking forward to a peaceful and productive summer.

A Wife that Reveres her Husband

2009-06-03T02:44:00.001-07:00

How do I become a wife that reveres my husband?

A woman who chooses a lifestyle of continued reverence towards her husband, is a women who understands the powerful impact of her role in the family. Whenever I see a wife who shows contempt or disrespect for her husband, what I really see is a woman who believes that she is powerless.

Do you try to change your husband with arguing and rebellion? A women who wants to change her husband will first change herself. Below are 4 key challenges for becoming a wife that reveres her husband.

1. Pray daily that you would speak and think positively about his character and behavior.
In order to treat your spouse differently, you will have to think differently about him. Your husband will know your thoughts toward him whether you verbally express them or not.

Proverbs 23:6-8 Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.

2. Overlook his faults.
This does not pertain to sin. Overlook the fact that he leaves his work clothes on the floor or that he does not replace the toilet paper when he uses the last of the roll. Don't let the small things irritate you. Satan knows what bothers you and he will use anyone (especially those closest to you) to separate you from the peace of God.

Matthew 7:1-5

3. Take on a child-like mentality.
What worked for me in teaching myself to speak respectfully to my husband was thinking of him as my father. Whenever I would prepare to speak to my husband I would ask myself the question,"Would I speak to my father this way?" The question can be replaced with anyone whom you respect. We should not speak to anyone better than the way in which we speak to our own spouse.

Colossians 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

4. Learn patience and self control.
This was and is one of the hardest Fruit of the Spirit for me to maintain. I must pray daily for the ability to be patient and temperate. I can see my self become easily agitated and hostile on the days that I don't pray the will of God over my flesh. Another word for patience is longsuffering. This area is where I've grown ever more closer to God. I can see His power working in me to be a patient and temperate wife in my interactions with my husband.

Ecclesiastes 7:7-9 Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart. Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

1 Thessalonians 5:13-15...Be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

Are you Vashti or Esther?

2009-05-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

As I walked the track at the YMCA with a friend the subject of Jon and Kate came up. "Jon and Kate plus 8" isn't a show that either of us have watched more than once or twice, however the details of their rocky marriage have been revisited night after night on prime time news and entertainment television.

I remember the things that stood out for me when watching the two episodes of the show. The first was how Kate spoke to Jon in a condescending tone regarding what she viewed as his faults. The other was when Jon was slapped across the cheek by Kate after making a comment that she didn't like.

I decided then and there that this show would not get my ratings.

Is this what we now consider entertainment? I find no humor in a wife degrading her husband on national television or in privacy of ones own home. I am not here to judge Kate, however what I am here to do is shine a light on God's perfect plan for our lives.

I am not here to debate whether or not a husband deserved a wife's respect. I only intend to reiterate Gods perfect will for the marriage covenant. One commandment concerning my marriage covenant states "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

God did not make any loopholes for me such as reverencing my husband only when he loves me as he loves himself. He gave my husband a commandment and he gave me a commandment. I am accountable for upholding it to the best of my ability and where I fall short, God's grace will be sufficient.

God has designed two distinct roles for my husband and I. He did not make us the same nor did he call us to operate in the same office. God has endowed me everything I need to fulfill my purpose in the marriage relationship.

One of my callings as a wife is to willingly submit to my husbands leadership, which includes him having ruler ship over me.

^Genesis3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

At one point in time I viewed this in such a negative light that I was a rebellious wife. I was irreverent and conducted myself in a way that did not glorify God. I was a wife like Vashti. You remember Vashti, the wife who refused to come to her husband when he called, resulting in his public embarrassment.

I am not Vashti. I do not have thousands of women who look up to me in my kingdom, but I do have two daughters who are watching me. They are observing how I interact with their father. They are looking to me to see how I deal with someone in authority over me. I have a responsibility to^{Titus 2:3}demonstrate behavior that is holy....being a teacher of good things. I am to teach my daughters to ^{Titus 2:4} love their husbands....^{Titus 2:5}To be discreet, chaste...good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. I am to show them ^{Titus 2:7} a pattern of good works which includes ^{Titus 2:8}Sound speech, that cannot be condemned.

As fellow believers in the body of Christ we are living examples of who Christ is and if we neglect to consider the impact that our behavior has on those around us than we will never truly be able to understand God's master plan for our lives. My marriage is not about just meeting my needs, it is my opportunity to demonstrate Gods perfect relationship between Him, Christ and the church.

God has a perfect order of authority for His Kingdom and for my family.
^{Ephesians 5: 22} Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

^{Ephesians 5:23}For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

^{Ephesians 5:24} Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

So, what shall I do when I disagree with my husband. I must choose to submit. God has reminded me so many times when I have wanted to rebel. He always whispers ever so softly to me "You chose this man as your husband. You prayed for me to bless this marriage covenant".

When wives do not revere our husbands we run the risk of hurting the entire family unit.

In the book of Esther, queen Vashti refused to come when her husband called...^{Ester 1:16} And Memucan answered before the king and the princes, Vashti the queen hath not done wrong to the king only, but also to all the princes, and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus.^{Ester 1:17}For this deed of the queen shall come abroad unto all women, so that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes, when it shall be reported, The king Ahasuerus commanded Vashti the queen to be brought in before him, but she came not.^{Ester 1:18} Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media say this day unto all the king's princes, which have heard of the deed of the queen. Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath.

^{Ester 1:19}If it please the king, let there go a royal commandment from him, and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the Medes, that it be not altered, That Vashti come no more before king Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal estate unto another that is better than she.

^{Ester 1:20}And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small.

It is not entertaining for me to watch an irreverent wife. I don't find it humorous for a wife to chastise, belittle or over talk her husband. ^{Proverbs 18:22}Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Let us be mindful of what we consider entertaining. Guard your hearts and minds against the little foxes that try to creep in and spoil your vineyards. A virtuous women is not one who wears the proverbial pants in the marriage.

^{Proverb 12:4}"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband" the one who wears the pants is the one that "maketh ashamed and is as rottenness in his bones."