Life and Love and Why

Special Needs Week 2009

2009-07-04T01:04:00.001-04:00

Special Needs Week is over, and it may have been the best I've seen. Things went really smoothly and Justin only had to do 41 loads of laundry (although there were rogue laundry washers as well). I'm always amazed at how well the staff does with our campers with special needs. Consider the fact that our counselors are roughly between the ages of 16 and 26 and many of them are new to being counselors in the first place. We put these people in situations that they never imagined themselves doing and they do an amazing job. This job isn't for everyone but many people find that they can deal with a lot more than they thought. You find yourself cleaning up poop and its not all that tragic.

What makes all the difference is the fact that people with special needs are just about the best people you could meet. They just overflow with love. As challenging as special needs camp can be, it is totally worth it to spend the week with these campers. They hug us, tell us they like us, show us what friendship looks like, and they teach us about faith. They remember us years later and are still excited to see us.

I love special needs week because it brings out the best in the staff and the campers. I can't really describe it without being cheesy. Its just awesome.

Like A Boss

2009-06-28T11:51:00.001-04:00

So I have been at Camp for 6 weeks already ( 2 weeks so I didn't have to commute, Leadership Week, Staff Training, weeks 1 & 2 of campers). So far I am not quite sick of camp. Not even a camper hitting me in the face with a molten marshmallow (which fell to the ground and consequently got on my backpack and flip flop) can depress my love of camp.

Its been an interesting month and a half though. It feels so weird to be in charge. Like legitimately in charge. At first it felt strangely natural and I was uncannily calm. I can only attribute that to the remarkable grace of God and the fact that I have a lot of confidence in the leadership team. In the middle of week 1, however, the feelings of confidence started to fade. The honeymoon was over.

Its not that things are terrible, but people are not perfect and it is my job to help them improve. Plus it seems like the weather and even sometimes the campers are conspiring against us. So I spent a lot of time praying this weekend because I know God wants me to lead this team a certain way.

I remembered this weekend that as leadership we are here to encourage and keep people accountable. We need to do this in a positive way and that starts with me. This is such a new experience for me but so far I think it is going ok. The leadership team is full of competent people so I feel backed up and its only now becoming difficult to be in charge of my friends.

I continually build myself up by making up my own camp appropriate words to "Like A Boss" from the SNL Digital Short.

Jumpin on Splashdown! Like a boss
Writin' NPVs like a boss (notice of policy violations)
Like a boss!
Like a boss!

I'm pretty important in Ubud

2009-04-26T08:38:00.000-04:00

Erin and her Fullbright friends use the phrase "loss of perspective" to cover the range of behavioral changes one experiences in a country where we are millionaires, being "the American" in town makes you a celebrity, the rest of the world seems far away, and vacation fashion is the norm. I experienced a bit of this in Ubud, and it is going to make the rest of the world a little difficult.

Our series of travel events en route to Ubud included two bus rides, a late night stroll down the side of a highway, a stop at an all-night food place, a brief sleep at Erin's friend Nasha's house, one upset stomach (Erin's), a delayed flight, and a taxi ride. Nonetheless we ended up in Ubud mid-afternoon on Thursday. Our plan was to schlep from hotel to hotel until we found something satisfactory. I was expecting something very simple with cold water. But the first place we went to was beautiful, inexpensive, and offered us a choice of a room with air con and a fabulous view on the third floor, or no air but a porch on the ground floor. We chose the ground floor. We had nice beds with good pillows and ikat bedspreads. There was even hot water! And breakfast included. Since our little porch and entrance to our room was right next to the lobby entrance it was very convenient. So
guess how much it cost per night. Seriously. Tell me your guess and I'll tell you the answer later.

And now I must tell you about our Ketut. He works at the hotel and is the most enthusiastic and helpful person in the world. He brought us our breakfast, he procured our tickets for cultural events and he even took us to holy sites all around Ubud by ojek (motorbike) for a mere $10 each. Whenever we were on our porch Ketut was there seeing if we needed anything. Ketut spoke pretty good English and he wanted to practice as much as possible with us. I seriously considered inviting him to work at camp.

So we had better than expected accommodation and a very helpful concierge / tour guide / chauffeur / new friend. We started out logically enough. I have read that a backpacker can easily get by on $15 a day in Indonesia. Well I totally believe that but I spent about three times that on average. Of course we ate good but not top end food, we saw two traditional Balinese performances, visited several temples and holy sites, went to the sacred monkey forest and we did a fair bit of shopping. Oh the shopping.

I am nowhere near to being a shopaholic normally. I have low shopping stamina. I like to research before I buy. But when you take someone who has been trying to save money for months and plop them down in a land where the US dollar is worth 10,000 rupiah something dangerous happens. Even worse if this person is a person who loves fabric and the country is know for beautiful textiles.

Basically, I lost perspective. I had a few things I definitely wanted, and there were some gifts I was going to get. But then I realized how cheap the sarongs were. I fell in love with the batik (hand painted cloth) and ikat (intricately woven often hand dyed cloth). I had gotten out as much as I wanted to spend when we arrived in Ubud but by Saturday morning I was selling my leftover Australian currency to support my textile habit. Later that day I sold some USD. Erin was not as bad as me but we both went a little overboard. We realized, as I contemplated fitting the full bed sized ikat into my backpack, that we were out of control. But when the woman offered to sell us each a full sized totally awesome frog motif ikat for $7 each what were we supposed to do?!

Overall I didn't really go over budget and my stuff all fit into my bag. And if I get married someday my ikat will ensure that I have plenty of children (frogs are a sign of fertility Erin tells me).

Loss of perspective aside we had a really great trip. It is kind of funny that Erin and I had our first grown up vacation together like our aunts Lauri and Leslie do. This morning we bid Ketut a reluctant farewell, and later we had a very characteristically Maryland Shitama goodbye.

Now I am in Bangkok again on my way to London. I am going from being a cool American with awesome buying power to being a stupid American who can't afford anything.

When in Rome (Poo as the Romans Poo)

2009-04-26T04:47:00.001-04:00

I need to talk a little about Indonesian bathrooms. Most bathrooms here have a little hose with a squirt nozzle right next to the toilet so you can hose yourself and everything else down when you are done. What not all bathrooms have is toilet paper. Sometimes it is available out by the sinks, sometimes it is in the stall, and sometimes it is not there at all. This is where the hose comes in. This is also why the right hand is for eating, greeting, etc and the left is for doing other things. There is also plenty of water and usually soap for washing hands. The system seems to work pretty well.

Now about the toilets. Most of the toilets I used were western style, but I did encounter a few squat toilets. Of course I am quite comfortable going to the bathroom in the wild, but when faced with the task of squatting over a hole on slippery tile and actually being expected to aim I was a little intimidated. Of course it wasn't a big deal, and the aiming thing is probably half the reason they provide the hoses. It is the little cultural adventures that make travel fun.

The best part of the Indonesian bathroom is the mandi. I'm not sure if I'm spelling that right. Anyway, a mandi is a little bathtub sort of thing that you fill up with water. But you NEVER get IN the mandi. You scoop water out of it and pour it over yourself. There is always a drain in the bathroom floor, so you just stand there and dump water on the floor. It is very satisfying for anyone who ever wanted to splash water all over the bathroom as a little kid. Most places don't have hot water. That's ok though because it is so hot that the cold water is quite refreshing.

The hotel where stayed in Ubud had a waterfall/fish pond thing right outside our room. The sound of flowing water was so loud that the first night I had a dream that I was relaxing in an overflowing mandi with flowers floating around me. It was delightful. Then I woke up and realized I needed to go to the bathroom.

Al-Mawaddah Pesantren

2009-04-23T10:24:00.001-04:00

*I don't have service right now so these posts will be sent to my blog whenever I can send messages.

My first morning there, I awoke when I heard the first call to prayer at 4 am. Well, that may be overstating it. I gradually became aware of the melody that was being sung over the loud speaker. A few seconds more and I realized what it was : the signal for students and teachers to come to the Mosque and pray. Almost all of the residents at the pesantren are Muslim and so 5 times a day they change into a different sarong and a special white jilbab (head covering) and flock to the Mosque. We did not go of course and so I immediately fell back to sleep.

I woke up later and we laid around for awhile watching Al Jazeera, which is basically this part of the world's CNN. After awhile we went to find the laundry lady and went to eat lunch. The school cook gave us a whole bunch of food, which we piled into a bowl of rice and ate with spoons. Indonesians usually eat with spoons or their hands. I have noticed they don't really use napkins but wash their hands right after eating. By the way I love Indonesian food!

That afternoon we walked around the town and out into the rice padis. The countryside around Coper is absolutely beautiful... My camera was utterly useless in trying to capture it. When we were walking back, the call to prayer was echoing out into the towns and fields. Because there are two pesantrens and at least one other Mosque around, sometimes multiple calls overlap, all following the same melody and words in a sort of round. Hearing the call makes me want to go too and sing and pray along.

That evening I sat on the steps across from the Mosque and watched as the mass of girls flowed through campus and inside. Muslim prayer is nearly always led by men, but because this is an all-girls school the girls do the call and a female teacher acts as Imam. It is an amazing thing to watch teenage girls, covered from head to toe, singing out and reciting the call to prayer over the sound system.

The prayer that follows is very physical. This is one of the reasons modesty is required in the Mosque. The people go through different postures to express different things to Allah. The postures include standing, kneeling, and prostrating on the floor. Each person brings their own prayer mat and the whole congregation goes through these motions many times, reciting prayers at certain points. When I asked, the girls told me it made them feel peaceful and unstressed to go to prayer.

These girls are really cool. That night some of the little ones came to visit Erin's room. They took off their jilbabs and watched Beauty and the Beast with us. They also Loved Belay! One girl wrapped him up in my pashmina and jilbabed him and fed him shampoo. Adorable!

The next day I went with Erin to her classes. She teaches English to 15 and 16 year olds. In each class I had to introduce myself and answer questions. Then, Erin read aloud two letters that my youth groupers wrote in response to letters written by Erin's classes. The girls were very excited to hear back from American kids. Both of our groups are getting an amazing lesson about humanity - we are basically all the same at heart. At the same time we don't all fit the stereotypes for our religions and culture.

In one class I asked students how they felt about wearing the jilbab. They told me it made them feel beautiful and modest, and that it made men treat them with respect. I only wore the Princess-Jasmine-in-the-market version of the jilbab, like Erin does, but I can see the downside. It is really hot. It gets on your nerves sometimes. You take it off in private and have to remember to put it back on. Then again, I like the idea of having a tangible way to remind yourself and others that you are a precious child of God and a believer.

All of these practices are appealing to me in some ways because faith needs to be interactive and engage the senses and feelings. Of course they can easily become empty obligations, but when the person can choose to participate (or choose to come willingly to the obligation) they have the power to bring us into deeper relationship with God.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Denpasar...

2009-04-22T02:33:00.000-04:00

What I didn’t tell you in Thailand was that I had been trying to get in touch with Erin for a few days to see when she would get in to Bali, and hadn’t heard from her. So when I landed in Thailand I had a voicemail from her asking me to call. I called and found out that her flight back from Flores had been cancelled and she was doing her best to get back but I might have to be alone in Bali on Sunday. That didn’t seem like that big of a deal because Bali is touristy and full of hotels and taxis. I am a brave independent traveler, remember?

So I didn’t stress too much about it. I managed to finally get about 2 hours of sleep on the floor near the check-in area for Air Asia. I was so tired by that point that I slept soundly until the desk opened at 4 am. I checked in, went to the bathroom sans giant backpack, flew through security and got onto the plane with very little hassle. I called just before we took off, and Erin said that she was on standby but she would leave me a voicemail telling me where I should go and what the plan was.

When I landed in Bali I didn’t have any voicemails. And I discovered that although I appeared to have service, I couldn’t make any calls. My phone was also dying. After customs I found myself exiting not into a lobby area, but to the outside. So I calmly walked to an ATM and got money out, and then went to a food stand where I found an outlet, bought a water, and sat down to figure out what to do. When I sat down I looked at the amount of money I had gotten out, and did some quick math. It appeared to me that I had accidentally taken over a thousand dollars out of my account. But that couldn’t be right? Right? When my phone was charged it still wouldn’t make calls. This was the point where I started to panic a little. My phone had given me a message that I needed an additional code to make calls in Indonesia, so I started asking people but they had no idea what I was talking about. The security guys at the airport told me I needed to take a taxi to Denpasar and go to the phone office. So I was stuck in Bali, could not contact Erin, and had possibly taken way too much money out of my account. I could go stay in a hotel but then how would I tell Erin where I was? But I did not cry, nor did I start going around yelling “Is anyone here American or Australian?”

I went to a wartel (a place where you can pay to use the phone), and the girl was very helpful in suggesting how I could dial on my phone but nothing worked. She said I could use the phone for 8,000 Rupiah a minute. I didn’t think this was much, but given my 2 hours of sleep the night before and my mild panic I was in no state to do math. I took a quick walk around looking for other options, and finally came back to the wartel and agreed to use the phone there. I was pretty sure 8,000 Rupiah was less than a dollar, so that was fine. I called Erin and she picked up! She asked where I was and I said I was in Bali. She said, “I’m in Bali too! Where ARE you? I’ve been looking for you for an hour!” Oh thank God. I told her I was in a wartel near the taxis and then proceeded to ramble. I was so relieved I almost forgot to pay for my phone call, and dragged my stuff out to a bench. Within 5 minutes Erin and her friend Andrea had found me. They also assured me that I had taken out around $100 from the ATM. Stupid zeros and decimals always get me.

Anyway, we took a taxi to Kuta where we checked in a hotel and spend the rest of the afternoon at Kuta Beach, relaxing and catching up. We had sushi for dinner, walked around looking at shops (I bought some amazing Indonesian pants that are my new favorite thing), and finished the night off with a drink on the beach. Then I slept in a bed!

In the morning Andrea left really early to fly back to her school. Erin and I had breakfast at the hotel, got amazing massages, and then flew to Surabaya. From Surabaya we took a bus to Ponorago, and then a taxi to the school, where we were going to collapse into bed. Instead, when we got there we found out that there was a bonfire happening! So we went to that and then collapsed into bed around 10 pm.

IMG00009-20090419-0048.jpg

2009-04-18T14:18:00.000-04:00

The Bangkok airport is really nice. I feel totally safe being here overnight because it is well-lit and busy. Unfortunately these are also the reasons I can't sleep. I found a spot at the end of the third floor that was away from the shops and by a less used bathroom. This was clearly the place for people trying to sleep and several people were already stretched out on benches and the floor.

I grabbed a bench (the metal benches made of individual seats that you find at airports) and settled down with my book (after a meal of pork noodles and dumplings for 205 bahts). I read for a long time, eventually stretching out. Finally I tried to sleep but just could not fall asleep. Maybe its the lights and people. I tried listening to an audio book and covering my eyes but no good. The bench, surprisingly, was more friendly on my back than the row of seats I slept across on my flight to Sydney. I should have passed out either way considering that I woke up at 5:30 am Sydney time and it is now 4 am there. And I only slept 4 hours last night and about 20 minutes on the plane.

Finally, I gave in. I gathered my stuff together and went back to Starbucks where I ordered coffee and grabbed a cushy booth seat. I wrapped my pashmina around myself and reflected that I am world traveler Megan Shitama, who traipses around Asia and stays up all night at Starbucks. Then, depending on your perspective, I either raised or lowered my cool factor by pulling out my silver Sharpie gel pen and finishing the personalized word search that Gibb made for me.

Incidentally, if you love word searches (or search-words as one of my special needs campers called them) I have a hint for making them extra challenging. Stay up for 23 hours or so and drink caffeine and sit under fluorescent lights until your eyes can barely focus on anything. It really ups the difficulty level!

From Australia to Thailand

2009-04-18T08:20:00.001-04:00

Well the wedding was just about perfect. The weather was amazing. The wedding was on the side of a mountain. Jackie looked perfect and the bridesmaids were pretty awesome too. Jackie and Pat were so happy. I was torn between tears and smiling my face off but I mostly grinned and bounced a little. I may provide a fuller analysis if I'm inspired later.

It was great to meet Jackie's friends and family and hang out with the Donnellys. I also got to see Sarah Thorne (McPherson) and meet her new husband Jon. The three of us danced a good deal even when there were only 2 or 3 other dancers (or 0). But when there is a open bar and a decent DJ I feel it is just good sense to take advantage (responsibly of course!).

It is sad to leave not knowing when i'll see my Aussie (and US-Aussie) friends again but I know I'll see them.

But now for Thailand. I had the best airline meal of my life and that includes when I got my dad's upgrade to 1st class on Continental. I had stir fried Thai noodles with prawns and tofu, fruit salad and Australian cookies (anzu biscuits or something like that). I also watched the Duchess on my personal tv screen and since I fell asleep I was able to start it over and fast forward to where I dozed off! And I drank wine out of an adorable little glass the size of a shot glass. A flight attendant walked around and just kept filling it back up.

Anyway now I'm at the Bangkok airport (no signs of rioting) and it is around 7 pm. I can't check in for my flight to Bali until 3 or 4 am though so I am hanging out until then. The kink in my plan is my backpack. I managed to make it under the 20 kg limit even though I forgot to weigh it (18.8 kg - perfect!) but now I have to lug this 19 kilos around because I couldn't precheck it and I can't find storage (or staff members who understand the question). This makes moving around (not to mention going to the bathroom) difficult since I can't leave it unattended.

I did laps on 3 floors trying to figure out what to do with it and finally decided that I was stuck with it. I was also thirsty. So I ducked into a food stand and discovered that they sold alcohol there. At this point a cold lemon flavored Baccardi drink seemed like a really good plan but they only took cash. Stupid. What kind of airport vendor only takes cash??? So I schlepped back over to the ATM where I only had the vaguest idea of what the exchange rate was (based on the price of my ticket to Bali). In any case the second lowest withdrawal amount is usually safe, so I got out 1000 Thai bahts. I figured out that this in the neighborhood of $25USD but imagine how anxious one feels in taking out 1000 of anything without quite being sure of the exchange rate. I was right next to a Starbucks so I caved in to what is familiar and got a venti iced tea lemonade for 140 bahts.

I think my next step is to decide whether to have noodles or meat pie for dinner and then settle in with The Devil Wears Prada, which Jackie gave me when she was packing up her room.

Easter in Australia

2009-04-12T06:29:00.002-04:00

Easter in Australia is an interesting thing. Most people get off work Thursday-Monday, so there's a lot of holiday weekend stuff happening, like the Easter Show, which as far as I can tell is something like a county fair but with Easter Bunnies and lots of chocolate.

I got in Thursday of Easter Weekend. I had breakfast at 4 am AU time and was through security by about 7:30 am. Just past the gate I was greeted by Jackie, and moments later met with several blurry-eyed members of the Donnelly family. After a few minutes I headed off with Jackie and Pat. Before lunch we had stopped for pastries, Jackie and Pat signed their lease, and we stopped at Jackie's house where I unloaded my stuff and we picked up Pat's parents. We went to a pie shop for lunch, where I ate a steak and mushroom pie! I have been dreaming of pies since I left South Africa in 2006. After that we headed up to Illawarra Fly, a tree-top walk near Jackie's house. It was awesome and scary.

On Friday we went up to meet the rest of Pat's family. From there we went to have fish and chips on the beach, and then we went to Symbio, a zoo. They had some interactive time where I got to PET A KOALA and hold a snake. The koalas are so cute, and the snake felt weird... all muscly. My favorite, though, was the common marmoset. Those were so cute. I wanted to smuggle one out in my pocket. I also went to the petting zoo type area where we could feed the animals, and fed kangaroos. That was really cool too.

Saturday, we had a girls' day in Sydney. Jackie and her sister Michelle took me in to the city to see some of the touristy things. We went first to Chinatown for lunch, and had awesome Thai food at a food court where there were so many Asian food options I was momentarily paralyzed. After that we went to Darling Harbour, which is sort of like the Baltimore Inner Harbor, but Australian. It was the 21st birthday of Darling Harbour, so there was a bunch of cool carnival stuff going on. We went into a circus tent and saw an act with juggling and accordion/violin accompaniment. We also walked across the Pyrmouth Bridge and saw the middle swivel open to let a non-existent boat go by. After that we took a Matilda Ferry to Circular Quay, where we saw the Harbor Bridge and Sydney Opera House. After that we were tired, so we went to a shop where I bought a bunch of Australia gifts for people, and then we went to a surf shop where I bought awesome Australia Haviannas that have a small Australia on each one, and AU beaches printed on the soles. From there we went to a Rugby League game, which was an interesting experience.

Today we went to Jackie's church and hung out at the house while Jackie packed her room. It was interesting because their church doesn't celebrate Easter. The service was nice; they meet in a community center and sang lots of hymns. It was weird though because the sermon would have fit in very well with Lent, but since it came on Easter sort of felt like having an extra day of class at the end of the semester. I found myself thinking "everyone is in church right now at home" at times, and really missing all of the trumpets and lilies and "Christ is Risen - He is Risen Indeed!" In fact, when Pat walked into the living room this morning I said "Christ is Risen!" Hoping that he would say "He is Risen Indeed!" but he didn't know to say that. Fortunately, a few minutes ago Aunt Leslie commented "He is risen indeed" on my "Christ is Risen" facebook status. On the up side, I had my first hot cross bun, which is apparently an Easter thing. I just know it as the nursery song. I then wikipediaed hot cross buns out of curiosity. Very interesting. Anyway, Christ is Risen. And fortunately, Easter is a season of 50 days and Pastor Amy is diligent about celebrating that long. So it will still be Easter when I get home.

Flight Diary

2009-04-08T17:58:00.001-04:00

Over the last 24 hours I've seen some amusing things...

A college-aged guy reading a special collector's edition Twilight (the one that comes in a pretty box.

I talked to Pam and confessed my irrational fear that I hadn't arranged for Jackie to pick me up. Jackie called me about a half an hour later to confirm that she was picking me up.

I ate amazing ramen at a Japanese restaurant and was able to accurately guess the meaning of the name. Tomokazu means good friend or something similar.

They switched the departure gate for my Sydney flight three times while I waited - without making announcements.

I am sitting beside a guy who has the shaggy/pretty look of a model for a surfing company. He slept from take-off until 12 hours into our 14 hour flight and has not used the bathroom. I suspect he is wearing a diaper.

Across the aisle from me there is a grandfatherly Australian with all four middle seats to himself. About 8 hours into the flight he switched with me so I could lie down for awhile. He said I looked like I was about to die from needing sleep. Bless him.

Anyway, it just hit me that I am on vacation. I have been thinking of this as a trip - with lots to accomplish, but now it occurs to me that I should attempt some measure of relaxation. I'll work on that.

We are making our final descent. I'll post this when we land in Sydney!

Off to Oz

2009-04-06T18:25:00.003-04:00

*Apparently Oz is an acceptable abbreviation for Australia.

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So, I leave tomorrow for my whirlwind world tour. I'm going around the world in 28 days. I head first to Sydney, for wedding festivities and a little sight-seeing. I promise to take pictures at Outback Steakhouse. I'll be celebrating Easter there (Sydney, not Outback specifically)... of all the times to be away from church, that's probably the saddest, but Christ is risen everywhere.

After that I am going to do a lot of flying hither and thither to visit Erin in Indonesia. I fly from Sydney to Bangkok, spend the night there, and then fly to Denpasar, Bali in Indonesia. Erin is meeting me at there, and we are flying to Surabaya, Java so to visit her school. Then we are going back to Bali to stay there for a few days.

From there I fly back to Bangkok and switch planes there and in Abu Dhabi on my way to London. In England I have a long list of things I want to see (probably too many to possibly fit into one week). And I meet Megan there for the Megan Squared Invasion! Then, its home to the US, and straight back to work because Pecometh's busy season will be upon us.

Dear Michael Phelps...

2009-02-04T11:40:00.004-05:00

I just watched the cast of The View argue over what should happen to Michael Phelps (which was pretty entertaining). Of course everyone is weighing in on this, including Ashton Kutcher, who in his infinite wisdom said ""God forbid he hit a bong. Go ask your 20-year-old kid what they did last weekend." I would agree that it does suck that because he is a celebrity he is being held to a higher standard. Then again, he's being paid millions of dollars for his trouble. My life is more or less defined by the fact that working with youth makes me a role model, and I get paid hundreds of dollars for it. (Hmm... could I get some endorsements?)

What I would like to say to Michael is that there is no such thing as private life anymore. Literally everything we do could end up on the internet. Can you imagine when this generation starts running for political office? All of those myspace pictures, facebook albums from college parties, etc? You can take them down, but once you've put them out there you can't be sure someone else doesn't still have them. My friends and I are pretty careful about what pictures we are tagged in in Facebook, but that means we have to rely upon the people we are around to comply with our requests. So the necessary result for me is that I don't ever want to be in a situation that I wouldn't want to be revealed to the world. This is what I'm trying to impress upon teenagers is that we all need to be so careful about what we do and who we do it with. The super-plugged-in world we live in adds a new incentive for acting with integrity. "Do the right thing whether people will find out or not"... because people will probably find out.

I generally object more to stupidity than immorality. Because people make mistakes. We all have vices and we all have things we don't want people to find out about. I'm a fan of working toward integrity and making good decisions, but I know we aren't all there. So I am not endorsing hypocracy, but seriously people! If you have something to lose (reputation, endorsements, a place on a sports team, a job or admission into college) by making certain decisions think long and hard about what you are doing, and if you still want to do it at least make sure there are no cameras out!

New Years Resolutions.... Suck

2009-01-08T01:01:00.002-05:00

Ok, this is the time when I review my past year's resolutions and make new ones for this year. And upon looking at my resolutions I realized that I might be setting goals too high (or maybe I'm just a slacker).

Goal 1 was Be Present. Yeah, that was vague. But in the past year I quit a job and waited for awhile to finish that job, and then waited to be sure of a new job. I am more aware of where my attention is when I'm doing things, and trying to be more in tune with where my stress is coming from.

Goal 2 was Visit At Least Three New Cities. I visited Harrisburg, Frostburg, Charleston (SC), and Vero Beach FL. I guess I did ok on that one, although I really didn't experience Frostburg.

Goal 3 was to finish at least three of my projects that I had started at that point. I finished my mom's socks and the wine charms I was making, but so far I have not finished my own socks, my scrapbooks or my cousins' Christmas stockings. I did, however, make 2 blankets and a scarf, and started a new blanket. I'm currently working on a sweater and a hat (and technically the sock that is almost done).

As for goals for this year... I'm not sure... I really like setting goals but right now I'm just kind of working on stuff. Here are some things I'm working on:

-Going on a month-long trip to Australia, Indonesia and England.
-Being part of and attending weddings (3 in the first half of the year).
-Becoming a grown-up. I'm not sure what that means. It may involve wearing t-shirts less. And I definitely can't wait for my new planner to come from Franklin Covey.
-Getting back into an exercise routine. I haven't been walking much lately, and I want to start doing yoga again. There's a yoga studio in Middletown that is comparatively inexpensive.
-Starting a career in outdoor ministry.

Ok here are some resolutions. I just need to suck it up (I can always change them).

1) Write more. I have some literary aspirations, and I really need to get back in the practice of writing. This includes blogging.

2) Form better spiritual habits. I have been really bad about regularly praying, reading the Bible, meditating, etc. This also includes walking and yoga.

3) Be more careful about how I manage my money. Once the big trip is over I really need to start saving more money. I am trying to save a little in the meantime too.

Knitting Update

2009-01-05T05:16:00.005-05:00

I finally finished my mom's socks over Thanksgiving. I knit them on double-pointed needles instead of circular this time, which was an enjoyable experience. Using the circulars is less scary in that there is less fear of losing a needle (and its easier to store), but it is easier to follow conventional sock patterns with double-pointed. It also feels more authentic and looks more impressive with double-pointed. I used an Encore worsted-weight yarn that is really pretty, and machine washable.

While I was working on the socks, I was also doing squares for the blanket I made my brother for Christmas. He mentioned months ago that he liked the blanket the Chapel Hill Knitters made for the Camp Quilt Auction, and asked if I would make him one. So I did. I used the same kind of yarn as for the socks, but obviously in different colors. This one is considerably bigger. The squares were 9x11 inches, but I didn't measure it once it was put together and blocked. The nice thing about knitted blankets is that they are super stretchy, which is good since my brother is pretty tall.

I was particularly happy with the "U" square I made. The first colors I chose for the quilt were the Miami orange and green, and I used leftover yarn for the logo square. I made the pattern for the Miami U Logo myself on graphing paper, and then made up the gym-sock inspired stripes as I went. It is also a pocket for keeping remotes or cell phones or whatever. When I finished knitting the square I picked up stitches along the bottom and just kept knitting until the back of the pocket was done; then I sewed up the sides. I have to admit that I'm amazed at how well it turned out, with the exception of the stitches at the bottom of the U being a little funky.

Now I'm working on a sweater - my most ambitious project to date. I have this great superfine undyed Alpaca that I got for fairly cheap at the yarn shop. The back is almost finished and so far it looks ok. I also still have a baby blanket half-done, but there's not really a rush on that one.

Pearl Harbor Day

2008-12-07T02:29:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading an editorial about the lesson that Pearl Harbor Day should teach us. The author's conclusion was that we can never forget that there is the possibility we will be attacked; he also made a point of mentioning the need for strong intelligence (presumably in the sense that uses spies as well as the one that uses gray matter).

While I agree that national security is extremely important, I can't help but remember another lesson that learning about Pearl Harbor taught me. Even a country that was founded on principles of justice and equality is capable of throwing civil rights out the window in a crisis. Being Japanese-American, learning about Pearl Harbor was always awkward for me (not just because boys in my class said rude things to me on those days), but because I knew that in the months that followed somewhere around 110,000 Japanese-Americans were placed in internment camps. The tragedy of having their country attacked was topped with the insult of being told that it they didn't count as Americans anyway.

To be fair, my grandparents have never said a bitter word about this. But I grew up with an uneasy feeling that if it could happen so recently, what's to stop the government from doing something like that again? In the days after the 9/11 Attacks I mourned along with the rest of the country, but I also prayed that the rights of Arab-Americans would not be taken away. There have certainly been plenty of stories of hate crimes and wrongful imprisonment of Muslims and Arab-Americans since then. I am still sickened by the knowledge that inaccurate accusations that Barack Obama is an Arab and a Muslim were seen by many as legitimate concerns. As if we don't have millions of honest Arab and Muslim citizens in this country.

Interestingly enough, today it will be announced that Eric Shinseki will be the secretary of veteran affairs. On the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, a Hawaiian born Japanese-American will be named as part of the Obama administration. I read today that he was the first Asian-American to be named a four-star general, which just shows you how slow our country has been to integrate even Asian-Americans into top ranks (and the Asians are generally considered "almost white" anyway). It seems fitting, although perhaps a little awkward.

I am hopeful, because we keep moving inch by inch toward racial and cultural equality, but this journey requires just as much constant vigilance as the endeavor to keep our country safe. And the two goals need not be mutally exclusive.

Visions of Wool

2008-11-17T13:42:00.005-05:00

Now that I temporarily unemployed, I have fallen in love with knitting again. To me, knitting is a little bit like magic. When you look closely, it seems crazy - waving around a couple of sticks and tangling them up with some string and all of the sudden fabric appears. It feels a little bit like conjuring garments out of thin air (although in reality it is somewhat more labor-intensive and expensive than that). I never cease to be fascinated to see that I can actually create decent looking projects this way!

I recently finished my scarf in Bo Manor colors, which I began when Kieron made the varsity football team (he is now a junior in college). At least I have one more football season to wear it at Kellan's games. I currently have several projects on needles - socks for my mom, a baby blanket, and a knitted quilt. The socks should be done Thanksgiving week, the quilt by Christmas, and the blankie when I get to it. I was in my LYS yesterday with Jen, Rich and Bryna, and we were talking BBBBs (Big Bad Baby Blankets). Jen just finished one for a child who is now 2 and is starting another for someone who isn't even pregnant yet. The owner of the store told us that a lot of people our age just always have baby projects going, to be prepared for the next pregnant friend or relative. There's something so satisfying about making things, and I absolutely love making gifts for people. And what's better than knitting for babies.

Now that I'm becoming a fairly proficient knitter, I'm thinking about branching out to more difficult projects. Most of the sweaters I own are at least three years old so they are starting to wear out, and I'm thinking about trying to make one when I get past the Christmas knitting rush. I would need to start simple so I'm thinking about trying a beginners pattern with some chunky superwash merino wool. In addition to knitting I made a needle case for Megan G's birthday, and it got me thinking about taking up sewing again. I have often thought about making some of my own clothes, that is a sort of scary endeavor. Where will I find time for this crafting lifestyle? That I haven't figured out yet, but at least knitting travels well and can be picked up whenever you have a spare minute.

We Made History!!! (And I cried...)

2008-11-05T00:41:00.002-05:00

I can hardly believe it... it hasn't really sunk in yet. We are going to have a president who is bi-racial. Who is African-American. Who is young(ish) and idealistic and hopeful. Who claims that we are not red states and blue states but the United States. Two years ago I was hoping for this, but afraid that it wouldn't happen.

My thoughts are all jumbled right now, but I want to jot down a few reflections. I was more excited today than when I first voted in an election. Tonight, I watched the coverage hopefully and at 11 pm John Stewart (I was flipping between the Indecision '08 and BBC coverage) called the election and announced that Barack Obama was the next President of the United States. Seconds later the phone rang and it was my sister calling from Indonesia to celebrate and see if our mom was crying. A little later my aunt called to celebrate too.

As we watched the victory speech, I was struck by the enormity of this event. Grant Park in Chicago was an unbelievable sea of people, all so excited and moved. Jesse Jackson was in tears. Oprah was crammed into the crowd crying. When have you ever seen Oprah crammed into a crowd like a normal person? This is a movement where Oprah is just part of the crowd and the people are the heart of what is happening. I was in tears. We have taken a huge step toward racial justice. He has already inspired me to resist some of the cynicism that is the norm in American politics and erodes hope away. Our next president has the potential to face the world in a way that will win back the trust and respect of the world.

Yes we can.

Maryland Slots Referendum

2008-11-02T21:18:00.003-05:00

I've been promising that I'd put up some resources about the slots referendum, so here they finally are. The Advocacy Resource Team from the Pen-Del Conference of the UMC prepared this message :

On November 4th, Marylanders will vote on Question 2, a referendum to amend the stated constitution to allow slot machine gambling. If it is passed, 15,000 slot machines are slated for venues in Anne Arundel County, Cecil County, Worcester County, Rocky Gap State Park in Allegheny County, and Baltimore City.

The United Methodist Church opposes gambling, stating:

"Gambling, as a means of acquiring material gain by chance and at the neighbor's expense, is a menace to personal character and social morality... Organized and commercial gambling is a threat to business, breeds crime and poverty, and is destructive to the interests of good government... It serves as a 'regressive tax' on those with lower income. In summary, gambling is bad economics gambling is bad public policy; and gambling does not improve the quality of life." (2004 Book of Resolutions, "Gambling" #203).

At this year's Annual Conference in June, the Peninsula-Delaware Conference approved a resolution opposing this referendum.

I also found an interesting editorial arguing against slots, and also an article that talks about estimates that both sides are making about potential revenue from slots. I know that this is a very complex issue, but I am convinced that slots are not a good solution to our economic problems in this state. Slots tend to increase crime, poverty and addiction in the surrounding community; this could likely end up costing tax payers enough to make the whole thing not worth it. Plus, the effects of problem gambling would be devastating to some families. Even if people want to make the argument that the financial and emotional consequences are the fault of the problem gamblers, should children and spouses have to shoulder the burden?

This is not a quick fix -- all of the financial estimates are just that, estimates. If this amendment passes, we will still have to wait for zoning fights (for all people say slots are good for communities, it seems no one really wants them in their backyard), construction, and start-up before the money starts coming in for schools and such. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do think there has to be a better way to fund our schools.

A professional nerd?

2008-10-18T14:52:00.003-04:00

Ok so I'm going to try not to edit this note and just present it as it pours out of my head. I wrote that last blog because sometimes I just can't help writing about the books I read, and the response that I got to it made me think...

One of the other things that I wanted to add to that note (but I was trying to keep it from being forever long) was that those characters all have special gifts that they try to put to good use, without seeing the redemptive value of those gifts. I wanted to add a paragraph talking about using your gifts as a way of seeking God and both opening up to and responding to grace. I am convinced that even the most random gifts and talents are avenues to God/good/etc.

So, Megan Shitama. (This is where I start lecturing myself). You are a person who loves to write essays about books you read for fun. You love both theology and reading books in Middle English. You read and routinely reference scholarly writings in which Lewis and Tolkien talk about the power of fantasy in faith formation. You fantasize about getting a Masters in Classical Lit. And while you tell everyone and their mom that you should do what you love and explore the talents that give you joy, it hasn't occurred to you that this might be, like, something you should pursue as part of your ministry?

Ok, back to first person. So I have been wandering in the desert of "what do I really want to do with my academic and professional life" and maybe this is something I should seriously consider. My calling is still to working with young people, but looking deeper into using stories to do that might be a legitimate option. Hmm...

Do Vampires Go To Heaven?*

2008-10-16T14:10:00.005-04:00

I have decided that if vampires existed, they would be able to go to heaven if they were killed. The Bible says that nothing can separate us from God's love. Most vampires don't choose to be vampires, and lots of them hate the fact that they are vampires, so why wouldn't grace extend to them? Even if a person chose to become a vampire, wouldn't that just be a dramatic illustration of the fact that even when you repent, you still have to deal with the consequences of your actions? Yes, I think vampires could be saved. If they existed.

I was thinking about this today, because issues of religion, salvation and faith continually pop up in books where I'm not expecting it. I'm thinking of three books in particular: The Queen's Fool, Wicked, and New Moon (which I'm reading now). Each of these books involves characters who are trying desperately to get it right.

The Queen's Fool takes place during the English Reformation, and the heroine is a Jew caught up in the tug of war between Catholics and Protestants. The character's spiritual dilemma is whether God really cares that much about whether we believe the right way (although she's mostly trying to avoid being burned at the stake).

Wicked is set in a world without Christianity, but there is a religion that is similar in practice. In this one the main character, Elphaba, is believed to be bad because of the way she looks, and she is preoccupied her whole life with trying to be good. Even when people are trying to do good, they can still make a mess of things.

Finally, last night I was surprised to see questions about God and salvation come up where I least expected: a teenage romance about vampires. But then again, it makes sense. Lots of people have experienced the feeling of becoming something scary and not altogether good (because of anger, infatuation, sadness, lust, or werewolf genes). If I can't control myself, am I doomed?

The underlying question that pops up again and again in "secular" fiction, is this: What does it take to be redeemed? If I'm a vampire or a green witch, can I somehow make up for it by trying really hard to be good? If I follow the rules of my religion very carefully, does it matter what religion I follow? The answer that leaps out of my heartfelt conviction is that God's grace can overcome anything. Vampire, Witch, Drug addict, criminal, liar, or just plain ordinary person who makes mistakes, no one is hopeless.

So why am I spending time thinking about hypothetical theology of fictitious realities? C. S. Lewis points out that fantasy helps us to understand things about our own reality, and helps us to wrestle with difficult questions. It is so clear from our books and movies (I'm thinking of the movie Constantine as a great example) that we are so tied to this idea that we have to be "good enough" or we'll be supernaturally punished. We worry about "how good is good enough." The answer is simple but really complicated from a Christian perspective. We don't have to redeem ourselves. We open ourselves to Grace, putting our trust in God's goodness and mercy. It happens tentatively at first, like when we first begin to open up to a new friend.

As often as I see it in our fiction, I see this question with people in real life too. Regardless of religion and culture, so many of us walk around with the fear that we aren't good enough. I don't think that's what God sees. I think we are capable of good, and we each have abilities that we can use for good. There's a line in a prayer of confession that I love, "forgive us we pray, free us for joyful obedience." In Christianity, the whole idea of being forgiven is tied to the idea that when we don't have to worry about our own souls, we can apply ourselves to living well without fear of getting it wrong.

And if, according to this line of theological reasoning, a vampire could put their faith in God and try their best to not drink peoples' blood and not be damned, doesn't that give us hope too?

*Let me be clear: I am talking about fiction. Please do not debate with me about real witchcraft and the possibility of real vampires. That is a discussion for another day.

Voting

2008-10-02T19:55:00.003-04:00

Well, the election is coming up fast! I know that a lot of us have questions about voting and the election process, so I have taken it upon myself to gather some information.

If you haven't registered to vote yet, there is still time, but deadlines are coming up! You can register and get other information at Rock the Vote. The deadline to register in Maryland is October 14, but it varies from state to state.

Also, if you are traveling or at school, don't forget to request an absentee ballot. Google your state board of elections, and there will usually be downloadable absentee ballot requests. Again, the Maryland deadline is October 28, but check your state's deadline, and allow time for your ballot to come in the mail.

So once you are set up to vote, the question is... who are you voting for? Don't worry, I won't tell you who to vote for (most of you know what I would say anyway), but I have found a few voter guides and references that might be helpful. A progressive evangelical organization called Sojourners, which has ties to the United Methodist Church, has a voter guide that discusses a range of topics for Christians to consider. The United Methodist Church's General Board of Church and Society has also put together a very extensive voter guide that lists the UMC's official stance on different issues, and compares the stance of the McCain and Obama campaigns. Relevant Magazine also has a politics page with some info and discussion.

These resources are provided because we can let our faith influence our votes without imposing our beliefs on others. They are also intensional about raising a lot of different issues, because Christians need to remember that there is more to politics than regulating sex (abortion/gays). I hope these are helpful.

Planet Money

2008-09-22T18:35:00.003-04:00

If you're like me, keeping up with the economic news can be a little confusing (and boring). Of course it is pretty useful to understand economic... stuff, and I'm trying to catch up. A few months ago I started investing in a mutual fund... and I've only lost $13! (If buy low-sell high is the key, it seems like this was the time to start?). I would like to have some idea of what's going on in the world of mortgages and stock markets, but a lot of the time that kind of talk makes my eyes glaze over.

Anyway, as an avid listener of This American Life, I was excited to find out that a couple of segments on the current economic crisis is being spun off into a whole podcast called Planet Money. Its really not as boring as it sounds! NPR reporters like Alex Blumberg do a great job of making economics understandable and even interesting, spicing things up with stories of people actually involved in and affected by the economic craziness going on.

http://www.npr.org/rss/podcast/podcast_detail.php?siteId=94411890

25 reasons my birthday was fabulous!

2008-09-22T00:44:00.001-04:00

1. I am 25!
2. We went to New York Tuesday and drove through the Li-i-i-incoln Tunnel!
3. Megan x 2 = fun times
4. Sushi and rice balls for dinner!
5. Ran into Jackie and Pat at random in Times Square
6. Greeted my birthday in a bar with karaoke run by Broadway wannabes.
7. Spent the night in a fancy Manhattan hotel.
8. Lots of birthday greetings on facebook (although I couldn’t receive text messages that day)
9. Saw cool installation art piece in the New York Times building.
10. Went to the theater with Jackie and Megan.
11. I saw Wicked and it was so awesome I almost peed my pants.
12. Bought myself a sweet “Defy Gravity” t-shirt… it’s green!
13. Grampa left me a singing voicemail (he has the same birthday). Erica left me an even longer singing voicemail.
14. Had a birthday party on Friday with awesome people.
15. Bo Manor varsity football beat Elkton, although I wasn’t there.
16. Megan Gibb made me a cake.
17. Jackie, Pat, Loretta, Ashleigh, Phil, Megan G and Bryna were there.
18. We drank a 2005 Pinotage that I bought with Santie and Kate in Stellenbosch. Oh the memories!
19. We watched Pillow Talk, starring Doris Day, Rock Hudson, and Tony Randall.
20. Bryna spent the night and we had a great old people talk.
21. My parents took me out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant on Saturday.
22. Kellan had to go to the emergency care center with a football injury that flared up during dinner but he’s ok now.
23. Troy and I awkwardly ate sushi and seaweed salad while Mom tried to figure out how to get us home (Dad took Kellan in the car and left us to eat).
24. Aunt Lauri and Uncle J picked us up and took us home and then we talked about politics.
25. I just finished off the last of my birthday cake and thought about how great a week its been.

Complaints from an Introvert

2008-09-11T14:04:00.002-04:00

In many ways, the world has a pro-extrovert bias. You are supposed to speak up to claim your wants and needs. In the academic world part of your grade often depends on speaking up in class a certain number of times. In seminary, I am told that my voice is important; my opinion matters as part of the community here and therefore it becomes my obligation to speak up and share my thoughts. At this moment (with my cranky pants on) I think that is stupid. I appreciate the invitation and affirmation, but most times I'd rather keep quiet.

Before class today, I was reading and overhearing a group preparing a presentation for next week's class. Their task is to lead the discussion of the week's readings. One of their ideas was to split up into small groups for part of the discussion. (We are constantly breaking into small groups to discuss.) Someone made the comment that this would give the introverts a chance to speak up. This is a true statement, and something that I consider when making my own lesson plans, but something about that person's tone struck me as so condescending. What if I don't want to say anything? Really, small groups mean that you can't escape talking, even if you don't have anything to say.

I'll admit that part of my desire to stay quiet stems from social anxiety. When I try to speak up in class, my heart races and my mind often goes blank when I am called on. But I also don't like to speak up because I like to listen. I like to process things, and often I don't formulate something of substance to say until much later. It goes against my grain to speak up and say something pointless or repetitive or obvious just so that people can hear my voice. Plus, I have always preferred a lecture-format for class. I like taking notes, and note-taking is the main way I absorb information. In class discussions, as interesting and important as they are, I don't absorb much.

When it comes down to it, my job is focused around talking to people, which I love, but it drains me (that's the definition of introversion). At school I would much rather sit quietly and listen. It doesn't mean I'm not engaged in the discussion, or that I feel my opinion isn't worthy of being shared. I'm just quiet sometimes.

Growing Up

2008-09-10T16:08:00.002-04:00

So I know I've been talking about my upcoming birthday for like.... 7 months or something. It feels like a big deal that I'm turning 25, not because it seems old, but because 25 seems really... adult. At 22, 23, even 24 you can sort of get away with being just out of college and not a real adult. At 25 you're like a legitimate adult. Its the age my aunts told us that we had to be before we got married, which means that they assumed we would be mature and responsible enough to handle adult life by that point.

A lot of the time I feel like I am just pretending to be an adult (and I don't even pretend all that well most of the time). And then of course, what is the incentive to grow up and act like an adult? I live at home with my parents. I work at the church where I spent my teenage years (and thus many people still think of me as a teenager). I spend significant amounts of time hanging out with teenagers or on a college campus. I work at camp during the summer. It occurs to me that in this life situation, I may never actually grow up.

There is a whole list of things that I thought I would do, or wanted to do by 25, and I haven't done a lot of those things yet. I'm not really sure where I'm going or where I want to go, and I think that's why I've been feeling all weird and directionless lately. Its like my heart is trying to give birth to a 25-year-old life and its taking a long time.

And just as I was thinking about all of this, I looked in the mirror and found a gray hair.