In My Life

Not for Kids

2009-10-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

I know you are just dying to hear if I liked Where the Wild Thing Are, or if it was a let down

........ Dramatic Pause........
It has likely taken over my number two spot for all time favorite films second only to Dead Poet Society and just above Terminator 3.
It is NOT a kids flick. The messages are run pretty deep, and the wild things made Audrey jump a couple times. But Faith was never scared.

Spike Jonzes wanted to create a film from the perspective of a 9 year old boy who was essentially created to save his folks marriage, and he could no more sustain the pressure or responsibility of that, than he could rule and be the king of a bunch of wild monsters.
The voice of the head monster was the guy from the Sopranos, and the range of frustration and helplessness he was able to convey was absolutely felt by every audience member. I mean you could totally see how anyone could put, so much hope in one thing ,or all their eggs in one basket, and then before it totally crumbles just smashing the whole thing, basket in all, to maintain some kind of sense of control. Capitol R...Riveting.

Now we make forts out of the couch and play Max. I play the trailer and do the piano Melody on their tummy's, and we howl together after dinner. Its awesome. The kids didn't really understand the film, but they like the silly monsters and the crazy boy. I tell them all boys are crazy, so get used to it. lololol :)

Kenosha Royalty

2009-09-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was the Wedding of my Sister and her fiance' Matt. Tiff and Matt were never lacking for friends and social invites. People I'd not seen in ages dusted off the coat tails to come out and celebrate the joining of two incredible people. If Kenosha ever did have a Royal Family Tiff and Matt would likely be in it. :)

The flowers that accompanied a set of Diamond earrings waiting at my folks house were we all got ready for the church.

Mr. and Mrs. Gename married at Immanuel Baptist Church in Kenosha

Kel and I @ the Milwaukee art Museum for photo ops. The photographer asked me to move his car. What!?!

Me stealing a smooch on the Bus.

Very Ginger and Fred.

My Dad bringing down the house.

Audery didn't make it down, but Faith was a total pro.

Just like the old days.

Tiff, Tim & I. Tim and I were best buds since the Sandbox.

Good for us!

2009-09-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

Faith looking like she off to college.

Faith started Kindergarten on Tuesday. I know that this can be traumatic for some parents, but I get this image of a 30 year old woman education less still sleeping in her hello kitty bed. This mental picture takes the sting right out, and I know this is not only very good for her. Its good for me.

I like her school, but its a bit over crowded. Well see how this year goes.

My Fave

2009-08-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

Dwight has a prodigal son feel. He has a very vibrant and connective past with the girls of O. town, but leaves them for Ava a manipulative man eater of a woman who uses all the most attractive elements of being female to gain power over the men in her life. Ava is beautiful, cunning, smart, skilled in the bedroom, and can play the role of a caring as well as endangered woman to earn an Oscar. She embodies all the characteristics of the more obvious or socially acceptable powers of the female sex, but uses them as weapons to gain power.

Dwight gets caught up in her schemes, and almost dies, but is recovered by the girls of O. town, and healed. In that healing he has an entirely different face, and there is a massive sense of homecoming and celebration reunited with his family who welcome him home with open arms.

Dwights love interest before he strays from the path is Gail the leader of all the femme fatals in O. town. She is strong, confident, independent, beautiful, and all in all pretty bad ass.

When two people get married they enter into the status of couple. Those who make it work always keep the other persons interests in the forefront of their decisions. There is some autonomy but with all the shared spaces home, car, meals, experiences, quirks, daily interactions, hopes, dreams, memories there is a certain amount of meshing that takes place. You are a team whose collective goal is the well being of them, you, and the children that could potentially enter the situation. In that meshing a certain amount of sacrifice ensues, and part of you surrenders for good of the whole.

Dwight realizes that to snare Gail would be to change who she is, and since he loves who she is he chooses to go without tying her down. He is content in his feelings and in his manhood to let her be the strong independent leader she is and would never dream of stifling that potential.

He calls her is Valkyrie woman always his and never his, and there is heat, and there is attraction, and there is passion, but no commitment. Because if they were to couple that would change her, and then she wouldn't be Gail. So instead he loves her as she is. They never possess one another.

Dwight is my favorite, and he and Gails story are very important. The film and the books are all done in black and white which I think suggests that things are modern the contrast of right and wrong distinct. The name Sin City the first contrast to the graphics. The second is in how the good guys are prostitutes, and the bad guys politicians and clergy. People are victims of their circumstances, and the powers holding the context in place. The only exaggerated ideas are the powers men and women embody. Men are strong, protective, sensitive, caring, heroes that the women need. Women are beautiful, smart, independent, sexy, have strong community together, and are vulnerable. It really displays how the sexes can sustain and support one another in a world of corruption, greed, and poor values. How each can be powerful in their own right, but to recognize those powers, their potential, and not abuse them or use them as weapons against each other. When we work for one anthers collective good everyone wins, but when we don't everyone looses.

Hands

2009-08-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I watched the film Saving Private Ryan and sweating and ducking in my seat as soldiers fell on the beach front. I went again a week later with my mom and felt her grip and pull my arm down dozens of times during the same scene. That motherly instinct that makes a woman put her arm out when she has to stop fast at a traffic light kicking in as she tried to protect me from whizzing bullets and land minds.

It dawned on me after the third yank that I wasn't flinching. After a single viewing I was already desensitized. Kind of gross when you really think about it.

In the film Sin City the character Marv is depict as an enormous gladiator of a fellow who has been in so many battles his face has been permanently scared and disfigured. He also hallucinates the human carnage of bodies all around the city, but his life has seen so much bloody battle it might as well just be the common trash cans they really are. His greatest talent is killing, but that is not all that marketable or valuable of a skill outside of military service. So he wanders aimlessly alone, hallucinating, and drinking purposeless. Marv has a tender spot for dames, and zero tolerance for fellas who rough them up. Despite his menacing appearance and hyper aggression in the comics themselves he is constantly using his killing talent to save damsels in distress (protect and serve the innocent the defenceless :), and he is given the most fantastic lines like "She smelled like angels ought to smell." Not exactly the kind of thing you would think runs through a killing machines mind.

Marv is sought out by a call girl named Goldie, because she was in desperate need of protection. They share one intimate night together, and she is still murdered next him leaving her killers with a primo fall guy. Marv however goes all vigilanti and avenges Goldie's death. One informant was a priest and he essentially asks Marv if this whore is worth all he is doing. Marv responds "Worth killing for, Worth dying for, Worth going to hell for as he pumps him full of bullets.

Essentially Goldie's motivation was selfish. She was looking to save her life, and picked the guy she believed had the best shot at succeeding. She slept with him, but that was her job. She did not deserve his vengeance.

Marv however understood her motivations, and did not blame her having needs in the circumstance. But choose instead to see the need she met for him, and considered it kind that she would be with him despite all his obvious facial and personality hang ups.

His actions born out of kindness. He ends up bringing down a serial killer, and the corrupt head of the church. Not a decent guy, not a well adjusted guy, not a spotless role modle, but messy, gruff, complex, tender, caring, crazy. He like Haritgan also gets the chair for interfering with the people in power, and takes the wrap even for Goldie's death again not a heroes reward.

But hey kindness is pretty hard to come by. :)

2 Peter 1: 5-7 "For this very reason, make every effort to add ...kindness; and to brotherly kindness love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, hi is near sighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

I guess his 6 word memior would be "In the end only Kindness matters."

Poster Child

2009-08-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

In the film Sin City Bruce Willis plays the character of J. Haritgan a seasoned cop hell bent on nabbing a child molester and murder. Sadly this killer has been able to avid capture because he is the son of a powerful political figure of the city. His crimes have been looked past out of fear, personal gain, and power again leaving the innocent suffer and pay at the hands of corrupt hearts. Adolescent girls in desperate need of a protector a hero, and Haritgan despite age and an ailing ticker steps up to the plate. Albeit Hartigan was on the verge of retirement, and a heart attack which made him in a place with very little to loose. He also could have relied upon all the good he had already accomplished in his life, and quietly went onto peaceful retired bliss. But he opted instead to be the hero the girl needed. Big Sigh :)

The repercussions of this decision were bullet wounds, a long road to recovery, and being imprisoned for the very crimes he protected against. Not exactly a heroes reward. And the young life he saves goes on saturated in a world where the only power women are tapping into is their objectification and sex appeal becomes an exotic dancer. Appalling right!

But exactly the same kind of sacrifice Christ has made for each of us. He did not go to the cross for the behaviors that bring glory to God. He went for our transgressions to break down that barrier between us God's beloved children and Himself.

Sin City is very graphic and very gritty, and because of that not very many people will be able to get past these elements to digest some of the more pertinent messages. And I will likely be hard pressed to find too many Christians who have seen it, and this is tragic as well because its an exaggerated idea of what the world has become, but also dangerously accurate. Most of the time I think Christians have very little idea of what they are dealing with when it comes to the secular community, and they leave people ill equipped to deal with the struggles and challenges they are likely to face. The common headaches of personality clashes quickly become their cross to bear or "loving their enemies," and the mild annoyance gets labeled "suffering." And then that whole suffering for Christ gets a big check mark. When in reality were all pretty dam comfortable.

So the options become stay a cloistered community, and only bring outsiders in who will conform to the group demonizing everything on the outside to validate closing ones self off from this world going to hell in a hand basket. Or you engage the world and thus are viewed as watering down your faith, or fallen away.

How about we seek first to understand then be understood. Romans 8:37 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angles nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Be a Hartigan we have NOTHING to loose. World do your worst!

Chasing Pavements

2009-08-12T06:10:00.000-07:00

In 3rd grade I was given a book that always started the same, but at each cliff hanger you were allowed to pick from two different options which path the characters would take next.
Should Ted and Nacy open the shut door or head down the long dark corridor? (insert high pitched organ chord. lol :)

Well dark corridor doesn't sound so inviting, so you pick the shut door only to find there was an Alien in the room who melts Ted and Nacy's face off. Blast tricked again by opting for the seemingly safer option. Eventually the goal for me became keeping the characters alive.

It seems to me as of late that life is series of choices, and as much as we would like to control the outcomes that unexpected alien could be at any turn ready to melt your face off.

I was having dinner with my friends Karlee and Zack Monday night, and we were laughing over a parents natural tendency to be over protective of their children. She was recently encouraged to own and be trained to use a firearm as a means of self protection. Now I would encourage any woman to take a self defense class, or even Karate, but weapons this isn't Croatia.

At any rate fear is a huge factor in the decision making process, but ultimately fear can only last as long as the consequence matters to the individual. For example oppression trying to keep people in places of great poverty, and threatening them with violence, force, or the fear of changing the status quo. But eventually whatever is being held over the persons head to keep them in line becomes irrelevant and an uprising occurs. And pictures get painted of heroes, and villains, and radicals, and patriots, traitors, vigilantes, and loyalists. Perspective dictating the label placed on each person's head.

Other factors in making choices may include values, morals, beliefs, skills, talents, passions, and your circumstances.

In general if your choices are not going to cause others great pain or harm to anyone then they are easy ones to make. But most choices don't fall into such nice easy lines. Most choices involve risk, and taking a chance.

The frustration for me is when people validate their decisions by putting down others. What a lousy way to be, and steeped in insecurity. We all search for validation in various ways, but what really constitutes a "good" decision or "bad" decision is neither the consequence or the result. Its the edification of participating in the practice of an idea. The very experience itself and the reflection of the actions that transpire. Letting them change you and refine you, the situation can be a history that can guide or influence the choices of others in hopes of a good outcome. But its cyclical because "good" again can be a matter of perspective.

Essentially I have chosen to live by the principal of the Bible, and in that most of my choices should lead me to actions that reflect the way Christ behaved, and things that will take me closer to God and sustain the relationship I have with the Holy Spirit. I try my best, and fall flat on my face all the time. I am just as susceptible to getting my face melted off by aliens as any other person being a Christian isn't any kind of get out of jail free card, and in a lot of way when you are bold about your ideas then you are scrutinized.

I guess I just kind of wish people were far less afraid to take a chance, far less afraid to fail, and far less apt to evaluate the choices they are shaky about by reaching for validation in all the wrong directions.

Like Adele sings "I've made up my mind don't need to think it over. If I'm wrong I am right don't need to look no further.... Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads no where."

The choices you make are what you make of them. :)

America's Got Talent

2009-08-07T17:23:00.000-07:00

Here is the study I wrote for our last Women's group of the summer.

1. Pray for the Spirit to bless our time in the word and in fellowship.

2. Ask everyone to take a moment and think about 5 things they are very good at. (ie. typing, singing, listening, problem solving, ect.)

3. Ask each person to share 1-2, and what made them think of them. Do they enjoy the things they are good at?

4. Read the Parable of the talents: Mathew 25: 14-28

* Ask for reactions / anything that stands out.

* What did the servants do with the talents?
* What was the masters response.
* Notice that people who use their talents are given even more.

We also broke the passage up into 14-21, 22-23, and 24-28 pausing to reflect after each.

5. How do you treat the talents God has given you?
Like a chore or a burden / or do you use them to bring Him glory.

6. Describe a time when your specific talents were used for God, or a time when you where lead to a situation where your talents could be used but you didn't act on it.

I call it the state of emergency (its a Bjork song ;), and it means when God is pushing you to make the necessary changes in your life to participate in His will for your life. Its the place where Jonah found himself and the Jews when they wondered around the desert for 40 years.

Because in my heart I earnestly believe that people are the most glorifying to God when they are participating in his will for their life completely. It is better to embrace what he has given you, and use if for his glory. Or you are likely to suffer and become pushed to that state of emergency when you are so broken you comply.

I had a wonderful time encouraging and being encouraged by my sisters in Christ during our study, and I hope you find it as valuable.

Shed Pilgrimage

2009-08-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

Last week Thursday my friend Pav. and I fought the cubs game traffic to make the Marschel family summer annual pilgrimage to the John C. Shed. Pav. was a total champ as Audrey chanted Daddy...Daddy...Daddy... for the entire last 10 min. of the drive, and treated the umbrella stroller like it was her Siamese twin. Check out the turtle rides over the years!

Faith's 1st Turtle Ride.

Faith still riding solo.

Audrey's first.

Faith's third.

Double the FUN!

Faith takes the first ride of '09

And once we could get Audrey to let go of the stroller we got the double shot. lol :)

I think after this day Pav. could have used a shot. lol ;)

Bet you all can't wait until the 2020 turtle ride pics are posted. Just imagine the disenchanted 16 and 15 year old faces of Faith and Audrey. I promise they will only have to stand next the turtle ridding will be optional. lol :)

W.T.W.T.A

2009-08-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

Took the girls to see G Force today and caught this trailer. LOVE IT!!

My Push for the Cartel

2009-07-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been hearing a lot of conversations about legalizing marijuana as a means of saving the economy. I don't really think this is legitimate as who in the world would want to be recognized in history as the president who legalized hemp, so despite some persuasive arguments a person just can't have that kind of overwhelming negative connotation linked to their public presence without significant ramifications. Essentially pride and the healthy apprehension towards drug use instilled by programs like D.A.R.E. and educational platforms that have worked hard to promote awareness and aversion to narcotics will keep legalization at bay.

I however would like to go on record to state that I do think drug pushers have got it all wrong. I'm not sure why they target the youth who have no money, and their whole lives a head of them to get hooked on drugs and ruin all that amazing potential. I really think they ought to solicit the elderly. They have made their fortune, and have a steady source of pension income. They aren't as likely to reproduce, so the risk of harming a fetus or damaging reproductive organs form producing quality typical zygotes and sperm is not a factor. They have been productive respectable contributors to the overall well being of American society, so haven't they earned the right to go out in a blaze of psychedelic glory.

Fool Proof

2009-07-24T17:55:00.000-07:00

If you ever find yourself infatuated with a person. The best solution to take them down a notch is to imagine them with a wicked case of diarrhea.

Tell me this would cure even the most illogical case of love goggles.

D.M.B.

2009-07-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

Last night I went with Art, Kristen, and Stephanie to see Dave Mathews Band at Alpine Valley. I had not seen D.M.B. since 1998, so the crowd of regulars had a grand time bringing me up to speed.

Where to even begin...the crowd was this radical mix of age groups and styles some total frat boy types, and other wild bohemians with wrap around dresses and dreadlocks. There was a buzz of excitement, but not any sort of out of control energy were you step around puddles of vomit every ten feet. There were murmured hopes of favorite tunes in every direction and like a wave a suggested song would jump from intimate circle to intimate circle of companions stretching across the valley and back like a game of telephone. One suggestion might lead to two or three more from an album and the only thing to stop the endless stream of name that Dave tune would be the need to sip a malt beverage, a drag of a smoke/joint (toss a coin lol ;), or even the slightest movement in the direction of the stage the anticipation of the bands appearance to initiate the performance despite drug or alcohol was an instant attention grabber.

The song set included but not limited to : Proudest Monkey to kick off, satellite, crash, dive in, you and me, alligator pie, 41, funny the way it is, Halloween, and Thank you...let me..be myself..again (to which Mathews broke out into dance during.) Actually it seemed like he didn't really sing very much. The crowd did more, and the instruments were incredible the drummer carrying almost all the bands energy.

People were so nice me. One fellow shared his sunflower seeds with me, and you could tell he was a devote fan knowing band members first names, as well as, hoping for songs that perform live in ways a c.d. could never capture. He was awesome. Then this guy leaving during the encore grabbed my arm and was like "Hey we were in line for tickets together." I just kind of said probably, and let him move on his merry way. Then I turned to my buddies and said "Yes the experience was just as memorable for me." lololol :) And we all had a great laugh!!

Dave is an amazing entertainer, and they had this 5 panel screen that gave such a clear crisp display of the musicians that even in such a large venue like Alpine Valley you still felt like you had a more personalized show. I can't even imagine what the people in the seats experienced with the screens and the band a stones throw away. The lights the sounds from the seats had to be unforgettable.

I absolutely in ways never experienced before understand dead heads, and phish followers as the crowd last night seemed so connected and even like a family. Some poor over served girl passed out on the incline wasn't scoffed at, chastised, or stepped on. She was encircled and wrapped in her sweater safe to sleep it off until the crowed disbanded for their car rides home. Thank you Kristen for the excellent company, and amazing concert. As Boggie would say "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. "

Table Talk

2009-07-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Here is a website that gives hundreds of improve warm up ideas. However one that you can just do at the dinner table instead of asking how was your day. Which typically leads to one word responses, or the need for follow up questions. Painstakingly drawing from your child or spouse irrelevant details that end up being the equivalent to my day was same old same old. You can play a game. Everyone at the table is responsible for contributing one word to a sentence. Start out with regular sentences.

Mom says, " He"

Sister says, "took"

Dad says, "the"

You say, "snail."

Play again and everyone can say two words, and make longer sentences. Put parameters on the sentences. Make them all have to do with school, apples, movies, or their least / most favorite teacher. If the kids aren't saying silly words parents make sure to take the sentences in creative directions.

If someone says a very strange or alarming word pause before the next round to ask why they picked that word. Where did the inspiration come from. Sometimes you can unveil more about the persons day from the subconscious than you would just by asking directly.

This little game can kind of train a person to say unusual things in the midst of common place conversations. As little as 3 people and as many as 10 people can play. (Henery's four extra people won't mess it up, but maybe two tables of 7 would be better. lol ;) My suggestion is not to play this every night, but maybe once a week.

If anyone tries this please leave a comment about how it went. A friendly caution though milk has been witnessed flying from nostrils during the course of this game, so keep an extra napkin or set of paper towels close by. :)

Humor Me

2009-07-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago I visited the Milwaukee Art museum and saw an exhibt called cut. Which was about cinema and film splicing and editing. In one of the displays it was the song leaving on a jet plane covered by a female vocalist, and the video playing in time with the music was of men's diving. Now men's diving is initially kind of interesting to take in, but this was the same couple of dives over and over again for roughly 3 min. Despite the repetition the song was catchie that you still found yourself standing there for the entire duration. Under the display was a synopsis that talked about how Nazi's originally coined this technique. They would take fine Ariana specimens and set them on a rotating platform. Then they would parade them through the town while playing popular music of the time, in addition to, espousing their propaganda about genetics and race superiority. They noticed that the people swallowed the message more readily when it was set to popular music, and thus the music video was conceived.

I remember sitting through an in service once and watching a video about change, and embracing change with a tag line "Shift Happens," and the music was so catchie and the images so moving you couldn't help but want to be apart of it afterwards. Later I recalled the art exhibit, and in future in services remember to keep this manipulative tool in mind. Is this a good idea, or is someone very invested in mass amounts of people coming to terms or getting on board with a concept.

Its important to be critical of this as most of the time this is used in commercials or ads for people trying to persuade you to spend your almighty dollar on their brand. It is also used to get people to stay longer in clothing stores, because the longer you stay the more likely you are to buy.

And unlike other forms of promotion individuals don't seem to get tired of this type, nor has its effectiveness worn off.

Germans at the time of the Nazi's were a state of great poverty and anguish. They were desperate to believe in something that would save them from their hurting, so despite the birth of an incredibly manipulative promotional tool it would not have taken a whole lot to get people rallied around anything promising as much hope as the Nazis were.

I think a lot these days about adolescents. About all the promotional messages they get infiltrated with and the tools they have to filter out the garbage from the good. To navigate the complexities of the gray areas. I think the song "The Fear"very accurately what a lot of adolescents experience even if they are unaware of it:

Lilly Allen

I attended a course last summer where Chris Farley's brother the key note speaker. He talked about how adolescent raised in loving homes are given all kind of values and morals to combat a lot of what American culture lacks. However he said that once these children reach middle school its like they have been sent out on a boat with only their peers, and those relationships are vital to their survival. And one of the tools that can help an adolescent navigate those rough waters is humor.

Here is an example of a script he gave:

Sandy : "Hey Charlie you going to Allen's party on Friday its going to be a total blast with his folk being out of town."

Charlie : "I would but Flavor of Love is coming over to teach me how to tell time."

Or

Sandy : "There is going to be beer at the party."

Charlie : "Well I only attend parties where heroin and meth are available."

These quick little comebacks help the person doge the response, and distract. In the same way a block in volleyball deflects a hard driven spike from earning the opponent a kill. Its not only a good way to prevent the action its also impressive when it happens. Memorable even after a game finishes out.

You become that kid who makes everyone laugh, and who doesn't like the funny kid. Then the person is free to go to the party or not go to the party but save face in front of his buddies regardless.

You can practice this skill at home with your kids by doing a lot of the types of warm up activities improve groups do. I will post those warm ups in a day or two here.

I know that in a perfect world all our kids make perfect little friends who never pressure them to do anything wrong or naughty, but this just isn't realistic. Especially if they travel in even the most socially accepted secular circle (a.k.a. public school :).

The main speaker at Mean for More two years ago described the traumatic experience of boldly opting out of a party, and the popularity repercussions that followed that bold assertion. Of course she survived and of course she is stronger for having gone through that trial. But having that same expectation for every kid is an enormous error, and maybe this is just what your kid needs.

Let us not forget :

Matthew 10:16 (New International Version)

"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."

Fatal Attraction

2009-07-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

I really need to quick address something I heard this a.m. on Q101. The D.J.'s were talking about Steve McNair being shot by his Mistress, and they posed the question about weather or not it is now safe to date 20 something women for listeners to call in.
For those of you who have not heard the story McNair was sleeping with another woman who shot him several times before taking her own life over the 4th of July.
The people who called in were relentless saying that all these girls want to do is party and go on vacations, and its fun at first, but they have no concept of a work ethic. And eventually a man gets tired of "parenting" them. The second caller said that everything the first caller said was true, but his girlfriend was just out of control in bed. Which was met by a round of applause, and cheers. GAG!!

FACT: In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner. That's an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner.

FACT: 32% of women raped are between the ages of 12 and 17. 64% of women who reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked since age 18 were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date.

FACT: Men perpetrate the majority of violent acts against women (DeLahunta 1997).

FACT: Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted.

For more facts about Violence against Women you can check out this.

There is not a designated age for the men committing these acts of violence, so perhaps then women should just swear off all men. And the only reason this has made the news besides the fact that the victim was famous is because its strange. Women don't typically pull stunts like this, and the adverse reaction is help keep it that way. 20 something women a threat please men are more likely to be stung to death by bees which evidently cause 30 deaths each year. Find out how many men are running around with full body insect nets? Pose that question in your pipe and smoke it Q101.

Untapped Markets

2009-07-01T10:59:00.001-07:00

*Warning twilight details will be revealed*

It all started over dinner with Jake and his latest flavor of the month. I always like meeting Jake's love interests.
Sophie was studding to get her librarian license, and aspired to develop a middle school program that ran against the grain of disconnect that takes place between childhood and adulthood when it comes to use of libraries. Foster an adolescent appreciation for literature, reading and of course the dewy decimal. Apparently books written to target the middle school years was a virtually untapped market until Harry Potter arrived on the scene. Stephanie Meyer would soon follow suit and create the vampire romance series Twilight. Sophie is convinced that H.P. and Twilight are solid lit. I kind of think they are just one of a kind. If your the first then you set the bar good or bad you mark the measure. Like John Lennon would sing "No one is with me in my tree. That means it must be high or low."

Not too fond of wizards and booger flavored jelly beans, and with the enormous buzz Edward Cullen was getting as the standard by which all the women in my Relationships course were measuring their boy toys by I opted for Twilight. Its important to make sure that entertainment is filtered with the youth. Who can really live up to an immortal being with decades of schooling and wisdom encapsulate in fair skin, golden eyes, wavy dark hair and a porcelain six pack. Not to mention the ability to sprint to Canada and back in a few hours, and to read minds is a tad unrealistic.

After dragging through the first novel I quickly became immersed in the rest once the character Jacob became a central figure. Jacob the good natured protective type stood in contrast to the perfect Cullen, and tried his damnedest to win the damsels affections, but she consistently chooses the vampire crushing my underdogs heart. Jake eventually settles for being her best friend.

I couldn't help but feel that the main character was a bit selfish to consistently cause her Buddie so much pain. I never actually liked her she kind of came off as a self loathing, self absorbed, snotty, manipulative, boar actually. You know the type sassy, wishy washie, inconsistent, demanding of their way until you give in, and then they back peddle. Obnoxious really. It would have been far more interesting if both men had dumped her.

The finale was kind of disappointing as well. I mean come on Meyer even Rowlings killed off at least one central character. Grow a set.

The sad reality about Bella is that middle school aged women identify with her. Much like Jane in Watchmen she is by no special talent of her own desirable, but because of some genetic factor or force she has no control of or over able to earn the attention / affection of her love interest. It is problematic to lead young women to believe that, and much of this self depreciation I feel is addressed in the book Reviving Ophelia. I can not suggest enough that any person raising a daughter read and apply the principals presented in that book. Or even teachers or any individual who connects with and influences adolescent girls.

Then perhaps authors will begin to write female leads worth identifying with. Individuals that dare I suggest even a fella might say dam why can't I just be a bit more like Wonder Woman. :)

Parachute

2009-06-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

Bono once described the Holy Spirit in an interview to be like a woman, because she is inconsistent. Thus the inspiration for the song Mysterious Ways.

1 John 4:16 "God is LOVE! Whoever lives in LOVE lives in God and God in him."

I just think love is messy, and I'm not afraid to get my hands filthy.

With Kel M.I.A. this week in Juarez doing missions, I went looking through the Mexico trip from '06 to feel closer to him in his absence. I set the pics to a song that reminds me of the Holy Spirit.

I've also been keeping tabs on the Twins. Anyone else think we need to trade Baker? lol :) Please be praying for Kel and the youth group.

Cash Connection

2009-06-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

The Downer was recently showing a flick called "The Girlfriend Experience." It was about this upscale hooker who was paid by men not only for sexual favors, but also to text them cute messages, pick up their dry cleaning, cook their meals, talk about their favorite sports team, essentially simulate for one week all the perks of having a girlfriend minus the headache of fighting or reciprocation of care / companionship because the rate of exchange in this circumstance was of course cash.
Lots of people find the idea so Novel (Big Eye Roll lol :) when in reality Asian cultures have been doing this forever with their Geisha only the Geisha gets married off to their big spenders. Or arranged marriages were again its clear the couple are pairing up to start a family, or sustain one another financially as well as provide some measure of companionship. No emotions just business.
Some people think its cheap to ascribe a monetary value to companionship / any expression of love. Others think ascribing a monetary value clarifies the situation the expectations, and dollars actually validate. Because well we all know how we treat free items...we take them for granted. :) One could argue either side really. But I'm kind of excited to generate the discussion in my dating and relationships course next fall.

At Odds?

2009-06-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

"The art of writing is the highest of those permitted to man." Emerson

I snagged this quote out of The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell to close a point about the Puritans establishing Harvard, and yet people still maintain that religion and education are at odds.

Narative

2009-06-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

Tracy Chapman has a song that begins:

There is fiction in the space between

The lines on your page of memories

Write it down but it doesn't mean

You're not just telling stories

There is fiction in the space between

When critics started trying to claim that the accounts of the gospel contradicted one another. The logical response to the criticism was to look at court testimonies, how historical records are deemed as credible, and narratives. To measure these concrete devices for deriving accurate and reliable information, and essentially come to the conclusion that the gospels are different men's accounts of their time and interactions with Christ.

In our quest to derive pure measures of truth some people bought into the notion of relativism. That in all we can hope to understand of the situation and circumstances around us is our very own interpretation of those events. In a way separating us for a larger connective context. Essentially I can not hope to understand how anyone else might perceive or interpret a situation, a poem, a song, a visual image, piece of cake, ect. because I don't have the same biology, past experiences, age, gender, or virtually anything exactly the same as anyone else. Kind of isolating if you really buy into it. Relativism of course has some merit, but is not entirely accurate either.

This separation anxiety and isolating philosophy gave birth to the importance of narrative. Each individual is the main character of their own little reality, and each story is valid in and of itself because it is uniquely told by the only one who can lend itself any sort of legitimacy the person them self.

It is in my opinion why a show such as The Hills can become so outrageously popular. Its not that Laura Conrad herself is so riveting, or her story so engrossing. Its just that a bunch of cameras following around a person easy on the eyes unveiling her mundane intimacies for public display. Visibly displaying one of the central tenants of relativistic thought. Even if we are not Laura Conrad we all kind of feel like her when faced with postmodern relativism driving the cultural shift in popular thought and the way the world view is currently being interpreted from the lens of narrative. Everyones narrative is fascinatingly interesting (even if the cameras only display parts of the story) because it is uniquely theirs.

David Lynch has now also capitalized on this current world view, and done Interview Project. If my friend Hannah still reads this blog she just rolled her eyes, because she knows that I'm a total Lynch fiend. I want to put the disclaimer out there that I did go into viewing I.P. with every measure of resistance I'm capable of. To no avail though, as essentially David with his messy grey and white flock of seagull hair still managed to reel me in. My favorite Interviews to date are Tommy Holiday and Clara. Tommy living for love, and Clara's active resistance to leaving a legacy stating "Life is for the living. I don't need to be remembered."

If you check it out. Let me know what you think. No matter how hard one might try to avoid being saturated by ones culture its kind of inevitable. So here is a project and an aspect of narrative that I think is worth being saturated by. Enjoy!

The Best Days!

2009-06-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

Summer OFFICIALLY started for me this past Monday, and here are some of the highlights of thus far.

Kel in his gear for Mexico. The goal is to keep as much of his fair skin covered, so he doesn't come back with melanoma. Under his cap is a bandanna wrapped like the women on the front of Aunt Jamima Syrup. Fantastic!

This ensemble is for no particular reason, but who else can pull off a cow tee. lol :)

Yesterday I was woken up by Faith singing made up songs to Audrey, as she wheeled her into our room. Then she started swinging the chair in circles telling me to watch how much she likes it all the while Audrey had her arms raised like she was on a roller coaster giving a double thumbs up. :)

Audrey asked for pancakes for dinner Wednesday!

I proudly display the LARGEST pancake I have ever griddled.

The Escape Artist

2009-06-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

PLEASE FORGIVE MY GROSS NEGLIGENCE!!

A scholar once pondered "If a tree falls in the middle of a forest, and there is no one around to bear witness. Does it really make a sound?"

During the course of my studies at the U of M. I took a course entitled the physics and biology of sound. Sound essential is a wave that passes through and is carried upon air particles. Irregardless of a recipient or a receptor for these waves the physical resonating and displacement of air particles occurs. So in essence YES the fallen tree makes an undeniable CRASH!!

This notion brings me comfort as I take up blogging again. Its not so much that I wont miss readers and comments, but there is a kind of purity in just putting up posts for the sake of just publishing. An attitude of Audience welcome, but not necessary. All that said I've been dying to express some ideas I've had brewing for months now about a film called "Into the Wild."

I wrote this my friend about the flick, but the trailer is worth the 2:25 seconds to gain a better understanding of my synopsis.

J. ~

So Kel and I started the film at like 3, and then had to stop it to get the kids from daycare. I have to admit it was really difficult to tear myself away. I loved all the flash backs and forwards it really helped the story come to a suspenseful climax.
I could resonate with Chris's desire to escape the life mapped out for him. To break free of all the conventions our American culture has deemed as measures of success. To meet people and share in their kindness and reciprocate. To reinvent oneself. The name Alexander Supertramp was a good choice. Alexander a great conqueror, and then Supertramp to indicate a conqueror of nothing because to be an excellent tramp is really just to survive and move around a whole bunch. Just scraping by.
As a female his quest would be far to dangerous to attempt. I mean I would essentially have gotten myself probably raped or killed, so that removed me from truly feeling like I could reside in Christopher's shoes.
I was kind of torn up by how much families can mess with a person. You don't get to pick your folks, and it seemed like his tragic end all could have been avoided if his parents had just channeled his Spirit a bit better. Or put more stock in real genuine happiness rather than all the effort it takes to put on the facade of happiness / having it together. Probably the same amount of energy exertion for either path, so its heart wrenching the consequences of choosing to maintain a lie. Pride coupled with vanity a lethal combination it seems. And all the ways Chris behaved to get his B.A. he learned probably inadvertently from his parents behavior and the way they lived their lives. How they didn't see it coming.
I loved his final conclusion or "Life Thesis" I like to think of it as. "Happiness is more gratifying when shared with others." Its true. :) So you want to play guitar hero real soon? lol :)

Alexander Supertramp's story reminded me of "Candy Girl a Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper" in a way. Diablo Cody essentially states right in black in white that she had an aspiring day job where she was getting promoted, and recognition for her talents, but opted to escape this environment for g-strings, dim lighting, poles, platforms, and damp dollar bills. Inventing her own "Super-tramp."

Boldly going where no woman she had know to go before, tasting the freedom of nudity, and harnessing the power of sex appeal. Essentially she hits rock bottom as well in a tyred of tears recognizing, what Megan Fox has yet to realize, that she deserved more than a lively hood dictated by the appetites of men. Her Life Thesis: "I deserved better presentation."

Christopher and Jennifer both intelligent, well educated, talented individuals both found themselves desperate to escape the direction their lives were headed. Opting for dangerous life threatening alternatives, both physically, as well as the death of ones credibility. What cried out inside them, and produced the life altering responses that resulted? I can't hear it, but then again I couldn't hear a tree crashing miles away either. But I can resonate for sure.

Lucky Tee

2009-06-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

Holding quite a record. I may just have found my calling.

But it wasn't a lucky day for Aunt Tee!

Over the Top

2009-05-04T16:45:00.000-07:00

Sly made a film in 1987 about the complex art of arm wrestling.

The Marschel 2009 re-make