Marius' Corner

And Even More Thievery...

2009-07-09T06:52:00.003-04:00

I found this very cool music video on Karen's blog. By the way, if you think she's a great podcaster(as I do) check out her blog. It's awesome. :-)

Covered in Beeeeeeeees!

2009-07-07T07:15:00.003-04:00

So the Fourth of July loomed, as it usually does, as a noisy time when we drive a couple of miles to the Publix parking lot where we can see the local fireworks without having to deal with the crowds at ground zero...say oooh and aahhh at the appropriate times, then go home and listen to the local redneckery try to explosively remove their eyes and fingers until we finally bury our heads under our pillows and try to not have Nam flashbacks. But then a miraculous thing happened. My phone rang. And not only did my phone ring, but it rang with someone on the other end with whom I didn't mind speaking.(how's that for some tortured grammar?) 'Twas Duke on the blower, and the conversation went something like this:

Duke: You doing anything on the Fourth?

Me: Uhhhhhh, no.

Duke: You are now.

Ok, so that's a distillation, but you get the drift. So on Friday evening I loaded myself and a few changes of clothes into the Hyperion and headed south. The drive was uneventful and I arrived only about an hour later than I had planned. It was a grand gathering of the old gang as Targon and his SO were already there with their twins, and Turtle and Sheeps were en route. The night was rife with beer, billiards, and laughing, and we all stayed up too late.

The Fourth itself was a hot, sunny, wonderful day. Duke took us out to lunch, then to the shooting range where we did manly things in a manly way, and many a paper and steel target were taught high caliber lessons in the proper way to eat a bullet. (the .308 sniper rifle was totally fucking awesome!) The we repaired back to the ducal compound to begin the festivities in earnest. My lovely lady had arrived by this time, as had Odo and his lady and young'ns. More beer, and grilled beasts, and salads, and beer, and chips and dips, and beer, and many children(I think the number peaked at 400, though I could be wrong about that)splashing and laughing in the pool, and more beer, and then the time came when words I had spoken earlier that day came back to bite me in the ass: "Hey, Duke. While we have all these big strong guys here how's about we help you move that fallen palm tree?"

We gathered around the supine trunk and decided it was too big to carry. So Odo brought his pickup truck around and we heaved it into the bed. Driving it to the other side of the yard, we were warned by Mrs. Duke many times to avoid the well marked bee hive nearby. The plan was to drop the tree near the hive to further help to keep folks from getting too close. I think you might be able to guess what's coming next. The irony gods were in rare form that day to be sure. Dropping the tree from the truck we lifted it and moved it close to, but not on the hive. Apparently the bees didn't get the memo delineating their territory. As I dropped the end of the tree I was carrying I felt something on my lower back that felt like a really big mosquito bite. Suddenly Duke was yelling run and the mosquito bite began to hurt like hell, as did my chest and arm. I would imagine that the scene was pretty amusing to watch from the outside as these manly men quickly became a bunch of squealing girls running, swatting, and for me anyway, ultimately jumping into the pool fully clothed to avoid the undoubtedly arrow-shaped cloud of stinging fury following us. The kids found this highly amusing, and once the bees were gone so did I. But, of course, a regimen of more beer was needed to assuage the stings.

Later, after the sun wisely went to bed, Duke and Targon played pyrotechnicians and set off the collection of not unimpressive fireworks that were on hand, and then a bonfire of palm fronds finished out the night's festivities. Mrs. Marius departed as she had to work the next morning, as did Odo and his clan. Food was cleaned up, and the kids were tucked in, and then we put on the movie Fanboys, which is a silly story of a group of Star Wars nerds who hatch a plan to break in to Skywalker Ranch to steal an early print of The Phantom Menace. If you understand that synopsis, then you will love this movie. I shan't spoil anything, but the cameos alone in this film make it worth the price of rental, and there is a poignant sweetness to the story that makes for a very fun time. After the movie we all crashed.

Sunday was quiet, and not too hungover. Mostly we just drank coffee, and packed up our stuff, although I did get the gang to sit down and record a bit of podcast material that will show up on our Apollo 11 anniversary show, then we all went our separate ways. All in all it was the best Fourth of July celebration I've had in years, even with the bees. :-)

Marius the Blessed

Cool!

2009-07-05T15:01:00.001-04:00

See what Kennedy gets up to when we leave him alone too long:

Let's All Go To The Lobby...

2009-07-01T20:49:00.005-04:00

Hi, folks! How would you all like a non-death related post for a change? You would? Fantastic! Since the Grim Reaper seems to have gone off the deep end in an orgy of celebrity coil shuffling, and since every conceivable news outlet from ABC to twitter, to the kid down the street and his sidewalk chalk has explored every ghoulish angle of the grisly goings on, I'm going to talk about the movies I've seen in the past week. So pull up an empty casket and ole Uncle Marius will tell ya about the pitcher shows.

Last weekend I guested at the lovely abode of two of my dearest friends A and B, and their lovely children G and D. Among their many passions, they are quite the cinephiles, and have a huge DVD collection. Inevitably among the first conversations we have whenever I visit is 'Have you seen movie X?', to which I usually reply, 'uh, no.' This is followed with a vow to rectify the deficit in my movie watching, and after an invariably sumptuous meal, and a few games of pool, the movies come out. And while often the flicks in question are ones I haven't seen on purpose, they almost always end up becoming favorites. Gross Pointe Blank, So I Married an Axe Murderer, and Serenity are past examples of their cinematic largese. And this visit was no different. The first show was not exactly a movie, but a twenty minute bit of musical strangeness by Joss Whedon, of Buffy and Angel fame, called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Neal Patrick Harris plays an aspiring mad scientist who is trying to get into the Evil League of Evil, but is constantly thwarted by Captain Hammer, played with beautiful narcissism by Nathan Fillion of Firefly fame. This is a wonderful tongue-in-cheek send up of the comic hero genre replete with hilarious songs beautifully sung by a cast that totally gets it. And the best part is you can watch it online totally free of charge here. Go watch it right now. I'll wait.

Wasn't that awesome? Yeah, I know.

Oh, right, movies. We also watched Tropic Thunder. This comic romp stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey, Jr. as actors making a Viet Nam movie who end up really lost in the jungles of Viet Nam and have to fight their way back to civilization. Normally Stiller's presence in a film keeps me far away, but I was assured he was watchable and funny, so I acquiesced. And I was not sorry I did. This movie is less a fish out of water story and more a let's rip the movie industry a new one story. If I had realized how much satire was in this film I would have seen it much sooner. There are also numerous cameos that are almost worth the rental price on their own. Tropic Thunder is a fun movie.

We also had The Spirit on during breakfast, but I was only half watching most of it. It is very stylistically similar to Sin City, but the story is much more family friendly. I can't really say if I liked it or not. It seems to have trouble deciding if it wants to be comedy, or satire, or a stylized film noir, but aspects of it are very fun. Samuel L. Jackson as The Octopus is one tube of clown white away from out-jokering The Joker. If you can borrow the DVD, or find it in the $5 bin at Wal-Mart it's not a bad film, just a bit unfocused. In any case, A and B, I had a great time and look forward to our next visit.

Fast forward to Tuesday. Mrs. Marius gets off work around 9:30am, so we decided to catch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen at an early afternoon show. Such shows are usually fairly deserted, but I forgot school is out, so there were more kids there than I would have liked, but it ended up not mattering. The sheer volume of the film kept any conversations well and truly obliterated. Soon we were ensconced in the high volume, high calibre world of robots that are more than meets the eye. And my verdict? Yawn. I was never a Transformers fan. The cartoon came out during that period in my life where I was too old to appreciate Saturday morning fare, but too young to have realized that cartoons always rock. I had always thought the concept was pretty stupid, but the first movie was actually a lot of fun and giant robots destroying each other, and everything else around them, appealed to the Godzilla fan in me. Plus my wife was a big fan so it was a win-win scenario. I was, therefore, if not excited about the sequel, at least I wasn't dreading it. On the plus side the CGI was mostly incredible. The digital print we saw was gorgeous, and the soundtrack was kicking. And Megan Fox did what she does best: look smoking hot. But that's about all I can say that's good about the movie. Maybe if it was 45 minutes shorter and edited a bit tighter I might not have noticed how stupid the plot was. But the fact is that despite all the explosions, robots, military hardware, and a leading lady who perpetually looks post coital, it was boring. I kept checking my watch after about 90 minutes, and couldn't get out of the cinema fast enough once the credits rolled. And for the record, my wife didn't care for it either.

Today was a day that would have convinced Noah that the voice in his head wasn't lying, so we hit the video rental shop and settled in to couch surf in earnest. The first flick we rented was one I had heard a lot about, and all good, called Let The Right One In. It's a Swedish vampire story with a difference. The protagonists are a bullied twelve-year-old boy and his apparently twelve-year-old vampire girlfriend. The story of how their friendship develops while she munches her way through the population of this smallish town is very worth watching. Make no mistake, though, this is a horror film, and while the gore is nothing by our standards, it is pretty gruesome. If a quirky foreign vampire flick is your cup of Swiss Miss, this is a wonderful little film. A word of advice, though. Make sure you set the audio for the original Swedish with subtitles. The English dubbing is horrible...and not in a good way.

Then we watched Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans. It was pretty much what we've come to expect from the Underworld series. Lots of blue light and grey scenery, CGI werewolves, volatile vampires, and lots of fighting. As my British friends would say, this movie is what it says on the tin. If you enjoyed the first two, this is a good watch. If you didn't care for the others, give this one a miss.

And that's it for now. Tomorrow, on my fellow podcast hosts' recommendation, I'm going to give Event Horizon a second viewing. I'm told it is much better than I recall.

So what movies have you seen lately? Anything to write home to Marius about? Let me know.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled celbrity body count.

Marius

Requiescat In Pace, Patrick.

2009-06-25T11:18:00.006-04:00

Many, many years ago there was an apartment in West Palm Beach inhabited by three squires. Duke, Turtle, and Pat. Duke moved out, and another squire, yours truly, moved in. Pat was a quiet(though his lady wasn't)roomie, quick to laugh, or even cry, and was a truly good guy. I'll never forget the day that I came home one afternoon to find him on the back porch drilling holes in his brand new metal shield. He was using my drill, and dripping in sweat. He informed me that the shield was tougher than he thought since he only had three of six holes drilled, and had already burned up two titanium bits. I observed him drilling, then reached down and quietly flipped a switch on the drill's handle. As understanding dawned on Pat he growled at me, "You mean this thing goes BACKWARDS!" As I ran for cover I tried to help him feel better for having drilled three holes with the drill in reverse. The rest of the holes took mere seconds, and we eventually had a good laugh. I tell that tale at least once a year in my Stagecraft class. I also remember the time he came out of his room in tears because he had broken a lamp that had belonged to a departed relative. He was a man of deep feelings and compassion.

Here is how we all looked back then. Pat is the one on the far left:

Actually, to be fair, this is probably a better representation of us:

I eventually moved out, and the waters of time grew wide twixt Pat and me. Then, in Jaunary of 2001 my then girlfriend now wife and I attended an SCA event in Tampa. I was wandering over to the fighting when a voice cried out 'Wihtgar!' and an armored man crushed me in a bear hug. It was Pat, not looking very much changed by the nearly two decades since last we met. We laughed and whooped, and he informed me that he was getting married at that event and elicited my promise to attend. It was a beautiful service, and a grand way to rekindle an old friendship.

Over the years since we have corresponded via email, and encountered each other at the odd event I would attend, but neither of us really went too far out of our way to get together. I guess we figured there was always time. As you must know from the title of this post there wasn't. Not anymore. Pat died quite unexpectedly on Tuesday. He was younger than me, though I'm not sure by how much, and if there is a Valhalla I hope I get to give him shit about that someday.

He would, I'm sure, appreciate the humor in that.

Goodbye, Lord Parlan. You may not have been perfect, but you were certainly one of the best among us. I only wish I had told you that when you could hear it.

Marius

Laugh Because It's Funny...

2009-06-12T09:31:00.001-04:00

Cry because it's true.

A Question of Starbases

2009-06-08T13:05:00.001-04:00

So I haven't been posting about my podcast, Starbase 66, here for a while since I got the impression that those of you who do listen already get those updates elsewhere, and those of you who don't listen really don't need them. Is this correct?

And The Crime Spree Continues

2009-06-06T07:19:00.001-04:00

Today I turn my thieving ways upon the good Turtle.

Librams and Novels and Tomes, Oh My!

2009-06-05T06:24:00.004-04:00

Once again, that Naughty Monkey has inspired me to blog-theft. Fortunately this one isn't a lengthy survey, just one quick question:

“This can be a quick one. Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.”

Time: 6:25am

1.Stranger in a Strange Land: Robert Heinlein

2.Friday: Robert Heinlein

3.Dune: Frank Herbert

4.Rendezvous with Rama: Arthur C. Clarke

5.2001: A Space Odyssey: Arthur C. Clarke

6.Hyperion: Dan Simmons

7.A Brief History of Time: Stephen Hawking

8.Good Omens: Niel Gaimon and Terry Pratchett

9.The War of the Worlds: H. G. Wells

10.The Chronicles of Amber: Roger Zelazny

11.The Foundation Trilogy: Issac Asimov

12.The Minervan Experiment: James P. Hogan

13.A Short History of Nearly Everything: Bill Bryson

14.Inside Star Trek: The Real Story: Herb Solow and Bob Justman

15.National Lampoon's Doon: Ellis Weiner

Time: 6:34

And now, at a more leisurely pace, some commentary on why the above librams are notable.

1. Stranger in a Strange Land is, and rightfully so, Heinlein's most famous work. It is a commentary on society, morals, religion, gender relations, hypocrisy, and love all wrapped up in a compelling tale of a human, raised by Martians and then returned to Earth to become a not-so reluctant messiah. I would love to live in Heinlein's world.

2. Friday was the first book in which I fell in love with a fictional character. Friday is a beautiful but deadly government courier who's adventures are as sexy as they are disturbing. One of Heinlein's greatest strengths was his ability to write characters who were the epitome of their genders. His men are masculine, powerful, and protective without being domineering or condescending, and his women are feminine, motherly, yet totally empowered and self assured. The actual story may be a bit weak, but the people in this book are so real that I re-read it every few years because I miss them.

3. Dune. What can I say about what is, quite possibly, the greatest Science Fiction novel ever written? Frank Herbert spent most of his books analyzing and commenting on the stratification of society, but never with more finesse and intrigue than in Dune. If you have only seen the movie or TV adaptations then you have not seen even the faintest glimmer of the depth of the tale of Paul Muad'Dib. The Lisan Al Gaib has much to show you about what happens when politics and religion get too close.

4. As a lad I only read Star Trek books, then my friend Joe told me about Arthur C. Clarke, and loaned me Rendezvous with Rama. This short novel about an alien cylinder that passes through our solar system in the not-too distant future is an amazing exercise in understated wonder. Clarke masterfully takes his time revealing the interior of Rama, as the invader is dubbed, keeping the tension of discovery at an electric high until the final pages. Many years later he wrote sequels that, I felt, were even better, but the original is an excellent doorway into the works of this literary giant.

5. If you were puzzled by the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey read the book. It actually makes sense.

6. Dan Simmons is the Shakespeare of Horror/Science Fiction. Hyperion is the Canterbury Tales set on a distant planet, and haunted by the most terrifying creature ever written. Simmons makes poetry out of fear and pain, and weaves a tale of sorrow and triumph, with just a hint of time manipulation, that lasts for six novels. If Stephen King is a blunt instrument, Dan Simmons is a scalpel.

7. Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time is an accessible, understandable, and fun overview of the universe as we know it. If you want to have an understanding of words like 'quantum mechanics' or 'particle physics' or even just a basic knowledge of what the theory of relativity is, read this book.

8. Neil Gaimon and Terry Pratchett are two authors who need no introductions. Their solo works have garnered them fame, fortune, and instant recognition, but in Good Omens they teamed up to create a view of Armageddon that is both hilarious and thought provoking. Imagine an angel and a demon who live cushy lives on Earth until the word comes up that the Antichrist is to be born. Realizing that their posh lifestyles will be ended by this they team up to prevent the end of the world. And that's just the surface story.

9. H. G. Wells was one of the greatest forefathers of Science Fiction, and The War of the Worlds captures that greatness like a jewel in amber. His eighteenth century prose fills the mind with such vivid imagery that you can feel the thump of the Martian war machines as they destroy London, or hear the terrible noises as they herd humanity to its doom, or smell the horrid black smoke that kills all in its path. This is a tale that has been told and retold over the years, but the original never fails to satisfy.

10. What if there was only one real world in the multiverse, and all other worlds, including our own Earth, were but shadows of it? That is the basis for the Chronicles of Amber. Zelazy creates a world at the center of reality called Amber, and it is run by a family of near-immortals who's intrigues and schemes would make Machiavelli blush. It is a tale of magic and mystery; of love and betrayal, of swords and guns and fists and monsters interwoven with an easy style of storytelling that makes for a very fast, very fun read.

11. While Clarke delights in showing us how small we are in the universe, Asimov's Foundation books take place in a distant future where man has dominated our galaxy. The Galactic Empire spans tens of thousands of worlds and considers itself to be eternal. But one man, Hari Seldon, dares to challenge that assumption, realizing that the Empire is crumbling under its own weight, and so he sets out to create a foundation that will preserve humanity in the dark times to come. This is the story of that foundation.

12. It's not that unusual for a society that has had permanent bases on the moon for many years to find a dead astronaut out in the lunar wilds. But when that astronaut is wearing a spacesuit of unfamiliar design, with artifacts inscribed with a language no one on Earth has ever seen, and who is tens of thousands of years old, that tends to cause a bit of a stir. A stir that last three books and goes places you would never guess. The Minervan Experiment is a fascinating story of discovery and enlightenment that rocks the very foundations of our beliefs of where we came from.

13. Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything takes Hawking a bit further in that Bryson's book chronicles the development of Science itself from the earliest Greeks measuring the circumference of the Earth(yes, they knew we lived on a ball) with astonishing accuracy, to the ephemeral precepts of modern String theory, and does so in a way that is very entertaining.

14. There have been many 'tell all' books about the making of Star Trek, but few of them written by two of the most powerful of the insiders. Herb Solow and Bob Justman were executive producers of the show and they grew weary of all the hearsay and half-truths they kept reading, so finally they wrote their own book. Backed up with copious documentation this is as close to the real story as anyone is likely to get. Just beware, while these men considered Gene Roddenberry to be a friend, they also pull no punches in showing that the Great Bird of the Galaxy indeed had feet of clay.

15. National Lampoon's Doon is a parody of Dune, and the absolute funniest book I've ever read. This brilliant satire not only spoofs the story of Dune, but beautifully skewers Herbert's writing style as well. I have read this book at least once a year for the past two decades, and it still makes me laugh. It is, alas, out of print, but if you ever encounter a copy at a used book store or yard sale, and you are a fan of Dune, pick it up. You won't regret it.

OK, tag! You're it!
:-)

I Meme, Therefore I Lemming

2009-06-04T06:22:00.003-04:00

Yes, lemming is now a verb in the Mariusverse. The lovely, talented, and slightly tipsy Naughty Monkey stole this, so to help her feel better about her kleptoblogomania(don't bother trying to look that one up in your Funk and Wagnalls)I shall help to diffuse her shame by adding my own.

What is your current obsession?
Can inaction be called an obsession? No? Ok, then I'll say podcasting.

What is your weirdest obsession?
Weird is such a subjective term. Some would say that my obsession with Star Trek is weird, or that it is wrong to keep an accurate diary of one's toe nail growth, or that it is strange to carry a pocket full of warm Brie so that you are never without a conversation partner, but I say that weird is all in the eye of the beholder.

What are you wearing today?
A full suit of gothic plate complete with pauldrons, tassets, and sabotons, a silk bolo tie, and large red clown shoes.

What's for dinner?
The chameleon's dish.

What would you eat for your last meal?
4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie.

What's the last thing you bought?
Tickets to see Star Trek for the fourth time yesterday.

What are you listening to right now?
The sound of my arteries hardening, my joints stiffening, and the inexorable crawl of the finite and ever-lessening moments of this all too brief existence into the abyss. And Green Day.

What do you think of the person who tagged you?
Well, she didn't exactly tag me so much as passive-aggressively guilt me into exposing the very marrow of my existence herein. But other than that she's pretty cool.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Hmmm, anywhere? There are lots of places I'd like to visit, but not necessarily live in. I'm going to say somewhere just outside of Orlando.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Antarctica.

Which language do you want to learn?
Call me weird but I have always loved the sound of Russian.

What is your favorite colour?
Infrabrown

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
My Hannah Montana footie pajamas.

What is your dream job?
I would love to be the artistic director for my own theatre department, but since those of us in the technical side of things rarely get that opportunity I'll say astronaut.

What's your favourite magazine?
Pangea Monthly. Every issue shows the continents separating in real time. In 3 billion years I'll be able to make a continental drift flip book.

If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on?
This is $163.00 US. A new microphone and some RAM.(yeah, I live on the edge, baby!)

Describe your personal style?
I am not programed to respond in this area.

What are you going to do after this?
Read more blogs.(remember, I'm a rebel on the edge?)

What are your favourite films?
Soap scum and that rainbow scuzz that you see on water that has lots of motor boats in it.

What's your favourite fruit?
Ian McKellen.

What inspires you?
The right balance of poison, antidote, and electric shocks.

Do you collect anything?
Feelings of fear and ennui.

Your favourite animal?
Mansquito!

What are you currently reading?
This survey, silly.

Go to your book shelf, take down the first book with a red spine you see, turn to page 26 and type out the first line:
You're not the boss of me!!!!

By what criteria do you judge a person?
Body count and hygiene.

What skill would you like to acquire immediately?
Spontaneous limb regeneration.

Spread the Sanity

2009-06-03T04:51:00.003-04:00

Hi, folks. Normally I try to keep things light around here, but I'd like to share an issue with you all that I find unconscionable. A little over a year ago I found out that there is a growing movement in the world to eradicate vaccinations under the misguided belief that they cause autism. Despite numerous scientific studies that have conclusively shown no evidence that vaccines, or their ingredients, cause autism the anti-vaccination community continues to peddle disinformation, hysteria, and fear. And recently the cause has been given a celebrity face in the guise of Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey. Ms. McCarthy is the parent of an autistic child, and despite her own mother's admission that the boy exhibited autistic symptoms before being vaccinated, she continues to decry vaccinations at every opportunity. As a result many diseases that were nearly eradicated in the US and UK are making major comebacks, in some cases killing children.

I had been planning to write about this for some time, but I wanted to make sure I had all my ducks in a row before doing so. I subscribe to a skeptical newsletter that is at the forefront of the movement against disinformation and pseudo-science in the US, and this morning I received a fantastic article about the the false controversy surrounding vaccines and those who oppose them. In a nutshell the article shows, with corroborating documentation, that the vast majority of anti-vaccinationist 'researchers' stand to profit handsomely from the downfall of widespread vaccinations, or are looking to sue the vaccine makers. Conversely the article states:
Scientists had been urged to “listen to the parents.” They did listen to the parents and then conducted research to test the parents’ hypotheses. There were various kinds of studies in different countries by different research groups. The results were consistent:

* 10 studies showed MMR doesn’t cause autism
* 6 studies showed thimerosal doesn’t cause autism
* 3 studies showed thimerosal doesn’t cause subtle neurological problems

Now it’s the parents who won’t listen to the scientists.

Autistic children and their parents are being misled and victimized with useless, untested, disproven, expensive, time-consuming, and even dangerous treatments.

I know that most of you do not have children young enough for this to be a concern, but this information must be shared before more children die needlessly. Not only is there a growing risk to individual children who go unvaccinated, the resulting loss of 'herd immunity' which keeps safe that minority of kids who cannot take the vaccine for one reason or another, means even more illness and potential death. If you know anyone who is struggling with the dilemma of whether or not to vaccinate their children, please pass this information along. It could very well save lives.

Here then, in it's entirety, is the article. It is long, but quite well written.
Thanks.
Marius

Vaccines & Autism
A Deadly Manufactroversy

by Harriet Hall, MD, “The SkepDoc”

During a question and answer session after a talk I recently gave, I was asked for my opinion about the vaccine/autism controversy. That was easy: my opinion is that there is no controversy. The evidence is in. The scientific community has reached a clear consensus that vaccines don’t cause autism. There is no controversy.

There is, however, a manufactroversy — a manufactured controversy — created by junk science, dishonest researchers, professional misconduct, outright fraud, lies, misrepresentations, irresponsible reporting, unfortunate media publicity, poor judgment, celebrities who think they are wiser than the whole of medical science, and a few maverick doctors who ought to know better. Thousands of parents have been frightened into rejecting or delaying immunizations for their children. The immunization rate has dropped, resulting in the return of endemic measles in the U.K. and various outbreaks of vaccine-preventable diseases in the U.S. children have died. Herd immunity has been lost. The public health consequences are serious and are likely to get worse before they get better — a load of unscientific nonsense has put us all at risk.

The story is appalling. It involves high drama, charismatic personalities, conspiracy theories, accusations, intimidation, and even death threats. It would make a good movie. It does make a good book: Dr. Paul Offit has explained what happened in Autism’s False Prophets: Bad Science, Risky Medicine, and the Search for a Cure.1 I can’t tell the whole story here, but I’ll try to cover the highlights as I understand them. I’ll include some new revelations that were not available to Offit when his book went to press. As I see it, there were 3 main stages to this fiasco:

1. the MMR scare,
2. the mercury/thimerosal scare, and
3. the vaccines-in-general scare.
The MMR Scare

In 1998 a British doctor named Andrew Wakefield published an article in the respected medical journal The Lancet2. He did intestinal biopsies via colonoscopy on 12 children with intestinal symptoms and developmental disorders, 10 of whom were autistic, and found a pattern of intestinal inflammation. The parents of 8 of the autistic children thought they had developed their autistic symptoms right after they got the MMR vaccine. The published paper stated clearly: “We did not prove an association between measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine and the syndrome described. Virological studies are underway that may help to resolve this issue.”

“Falsehood flies,
and the truth comes limping after.”
— Jonathan Swift

Despite this disclaimer, Wakefield immediately held a press conference to say the MMR vaccine probably caused autism and to recommend stopping MMR injections. Instead, he recommended giving the 3 individual components separately at intervals of a year or more. The media exploded with warnings like “Ban Three-in-One Jab, Urge Doctors.” The components were not available as individual vaccines, so people simply stopped immunizing. The immunization rate in the U.K. dropped from 93% to 75% (and to 50% in the London area). Confirmed cases of measles in England and Wales rose from 56 in 1998 to 1348 in 2008; two children died. In one small hospital in Ireland, 100 children were admitted for pneumonia and brain swelling caused by measles and three of them died. So, 14 years after measles had been declared under control in the U.K. it was declared endemic again in 2008.

Wakefield’s data was later discredited (more about that later) but even if it had been right, it wouldn’t have been good science. To show that intestinal inflammation is linked to autism, you would have to compare the rate in autistic children to the rate in non-autistic children. Wakefield used no controls. To implicate the MMR vaccine, you would have to show that the rate of autism was greater in children who got the vaccine and verify that autism developed after the shot. Wakefield made no attempt to do that.

His thinking was fanciful and full of assumptions. He hypothesized that measles virus damaged the intestinal wall, that the bowel then leaked some unidentified protein, and that said protein went to the brain and somehow caused autism. There was no good rationale for separating and delaying the components, because if measles was the culprit, wouldn’t one expect it to cause the same harm when given individually? As one of his critics pointed out: “Single vaccines, spaced a year apart, clearly expose children to greater risk of infection, as well as additional distress and expense, and no evidence had been produced upon which to adopt such a policy.”

Wakefield had been involved in questionable research before. He published a study in 1993 where he allegedly found measles RNA in intestinal biopsies from patients with Crohn’s disease (an inflammatory bowel disease)3. He claimed that natural measles infections and measles vaccines were the cause of that disease. Others tried to replicate his findings and couldn’t. No one else could find measles RNA in Crohn’s patients; they determined that Crohn’s patients were no more likely to have had measles than other patients, and people who had had MMR vaccines were no more likely to develop Crohn’s. Wakefield had to admit he was wrong, and in 1998 he published another paper entitled “Measles RNA Is Not Detected in Inflammatory Bowel Disease.”4 In a related incident, at a national meeting he stated that Crohn’s patients had higher levels of measles antibody in their blood. An audience member said that was not true — he knew because he was the one who had personally done the blood tests Wakefield was referring to. Wakefield was forced to back down.

In 2002, Wakefield published another paper showing that measles RNA had been detected in intestinal biopsies of patients with bowel disease and developmental disorders.5 The tests were done at Unigenetics lab. Actually, Wakefield’s own lab had looked for measles RNA in the patients in the 1998 study. His research assistant, Nicholas Chadwick, later testified that he had been present in the operating room when intestinal biopsies and spinal fluid samples were obtained and had personally tested all the samples for RNA with a polymerase chain reaction (PCR) test. The results were all negative, and he testified that Wakefield knew the results were negative when he submitted his paper to The Lancet. Chadwick had asked that his name be taken off the paper. So the statement in the paper that “virologic studies were underway” was misleading. Virologic studies had already been done in Wakefield’s own lab and were negative. Wakefield was dissatisfied with those results and went to Unigenetics hoping for a different answer.

Soon Wakefield’s credibility started to dissolve. The Lancet retracted his paper. Richard Horton, editor of The Lancet, described the original paper as “fatally flawed” and apologized for publishing it. Of Wakefield’s 12 co-authors, 10 issued a retraction:

We wish to make it clear that in this paper no causal link was established between (the) vaccine and autism, as the data were insufficient. However the possibility of such a link was raised, and consequent events have had major implications for public health. In view of this, we consider now is the appropriate time that we should together formally retract the interpretation placed upon these findings in the paper, according to precedent.

Attempts to replicate Wakefield’s study all failed. Other studies showed that the detection of measles virus was no greater in autistics, that the rate of intestinal disease was no greater in autistics, that there was no correlation between MMR and autism onset, and that there was no correlation between MMR and autism, period.

In 2001 the Royal Free Hospital asked Wakefield to resign. In 2003, Brian Deer began an extensive investigation6 leading to an exposé in the The Sunday Times and on British television. In 2005 the General Medical Council (the British equivalent of state medical licensing boards in the U.S.) charged Wakefield with several counts of professional misconduct.

One disturbing revelation followed another. They discovered that two years before his study was published, Wakefield had been approached by a lawyer representing several families with autistic children. The lawyer specifically hired Wakefield to do research to find justification for a class action suit against MMR manufacturers. The children of the lawyer’s clients were referred to Wakefield for the study, and 11 of his 12 subjects were eventually litigants. Wakefield failed to disclose this conflict of interest. He also failed to disclose how the subjects were recruited for his study.

Wakefield was paid a total of nearly half a million pounds plus expenses by the lawyer. The payments were billed through a company of Wakefield’s wife. He never declared his source of funding until it was revealed by Brian Deer. Originally he had denied being paid at all. Even after he admitted it, he lied about the amount he was paid. Before the study was published, Wakefield had filed patents for his own separate measles vaccine, as well as other autism-related products. He failed to disclose this significant conflict of interest. Human research must be approved by the hospital’s ethics committee. Wakefield’s study was not approved. When confronted, Wakefield first claimed that it was approved, then claimed he didn’t need approval. Wakefield bought blood samples for his research from children (as young as 4) attending his son’s birthday party. He callously joked in public about them crying, fainting and vomiting. He paid the kids £5 each.

The General Medical Council accused him of ordering invasive and potentially harmful studies (colonoscopies and spinal taps) without proper approval and contrary to the children’s clinical interests, when these diagnostic tests were not indicated by the children’s symptoms or medical history. One child suffered multiple bowel perforations during the colonoscopy. Several had problems with the anesthetic. Children were subjected to sedation for other non-indicated tests like MRIs. Brian Deer was able to access the medical records of Wakefield’s subjects. He found that several of them had evidence of autistic symptoms documented in their medical records before they got the MMR vaccine. The intestinal biopsies were originally reported as normal by hospital pathologists. They were reviewed, re-interpreted, and reported as abnormal in Wakefield’s paper.

All the reports of measles RNA in intestinal biopsies came from one lab, Unigenetics. Other labs tried to replicate their results and failed. An investigation revealed that:

* Unigenetics found measles RNA with a test that should only detect DNA.
* They failed to use proper controls.
* The lab was contaminated with DNA from an adjoining Plasmid Room.
* Duplicate samples that disagreed were reported as positive.
* Positive controls were occasionally negative and negative ones positive.
* The lab was never accredited.
* It refused to take part in a quality control program.
* When tested by an outside investigator, it failed to identify which coded samples contained measles virus.
* The investigator said “I do not believe that there is any measles virus in any of the cases they have looked at.”
* The lab is no longer in business.

So both Wakefield and his study have been completely discredited. He moved to the U.S. and is now working in an autism clinic. He has many followers who still believe he was right.
The Mercury/Thimerosal Scare

In 1998, U.S. legislation mandated measuring mercury in foods and drugs. The data came in slowly, and by 1999 the FDA had learned that infants could get as much as 187.5 mcg of mercury from the thimerosal in all their vaccines. They were concerned because mercury is toxic. Mercury poisoning caused the Minamata disaster in Japan; however, that was methylmercury and the mercury in vaccines was ethylmercury. The amount of mercury in vaccines was within recommended guidelines. EPA guidelines for permissible mercury exposure were based on methylmercury and were conservative — they were keyed to protect the most vulnerable patients, fetuses. There were no EPA guidelines for ethylmercury, but it was considered to be far less dangerous because it is eliminated more rapidly from the body.

Two mothers of autistic children published their own “research” saying that the symptoms of autism were identical to those of mercury poisoning.7 I don’t agree. You can look up the descriptions of mercury poisoning and autism and draw your own conclusions. I don’t see how anyone could confuse the two — their presentations are entirely different, with only a few symptoms that could be interpreted as similar.

Thimerosal is a preservative that allows vaccines to be sold in multi-dose vials. It contains ethylmercury. It was tested and found to be safe before it was added to vaccines. Animal studies showed no adverse effects. In 1929 in Indiana it was tested as a treatment in a meningitis outbreak — adults injected with 2 million mcg (10,000 times the total amount in all children’s vaccines) didn’t develop symptoms of mercury poisoning.

A study from the Seychelles showed that children getting high doses of methylmercury from fish did not develop neurologic symptoms. A study of children in the Faroes who were exposed in utero to whale meat highly contaminated with methylmercury showed subtle neurologic abnormalities (not autism), but a causal connection was not clear because the fish there were also contaminated with PCBs. The World Health Organization concluded:

The theoretical risk from exposure to thimerosal has to be balanced against the known high risk of having no preservative in vaccines. Therefore, WHO, UNICEF, the European Agency for Evaluation of Medicinal Products (EMEA), and other key agencies continue to recommend the use of vaccines containing this preservative because of the proven benefit of vaccines in preventing death and disease and the lack of data indicating harm.

In 1999 the U.S. removed thimerosal from vaccines. Why? The decision was not based on evidence but on one person’s opinion. Neal Halsey railroaded the committee and threatened to hold his own press conference if they didn’t do what he wanted. He meant well. His passion convinced the other committee members to invoke the precautionary principle — essentially bending over backwards to prevent any possible harm from a high total body burden of mercury from a combination of diet, environmental and vaccine sources. He didn’t even consider autism: he was only concerned about possible subtle neurologic damage.

They announced their decision in words guaranteed to confuse the public and create suspicion: “current levels of thimerosal will not hurt children, but reducing those levels will make safe vaccines even safer.” A 2007 editorial8 in The New England Journal of Medicine stated:

Although the precautionary principle assumes that there is no harm in exercising caution, the alarm caused by the removal of thimerosal from vaccines has been quite harmful. For instance, after the July 1999 announcement by the CDC and AAP, about 10 percent of hospitals suspended use of the hepatitis B vaccine for all newborns, regardless of their level of risk. [Because a thimerosal-free hepatitis B vaccine was not available.] One 3-month-old child born to a Michigan mother infected with hepatitis B virus died of overwhelming infection.

It went on to point out:

The notion that thimerosal caused autism has given rise to a cottage industry of charlatans offering false hope, partly in the form of mercury-chelating agents. In August 2005, a 5-year-old autistic boy in suburban Pittsburgh died from an arrhythmia caused by the injection of the chelating agent EDTA. Although the notion that thimerosal causes autism has now been disproved by several excellent epidemiologic studies, about 10,000 autistic children in the United States receive mercury-chelating agents every year.

A further insanity has been perpetrated by the father-and-son team of Mark and David Geier. They claimed that autistics have premature puberty and high testosterone levels (there is no evidence that this is true). They hypothesized that testosterone forms sheet-like complexes with mercury in the brain (there is no evidence that this is true), preventing mercury’s removal by chelation. Their solution? They administered the drug Lupron to lower testosterone levels to supposedly facilitate mercury excretion. The treatment amounts to chemical castration.

Lupron is sometimes ordered by the courts to chemically castrate sex offenders, and it is used to treat precocious puberty and certain other medical conditions. It is not a benign drug. It can interfere with normal development and puberty and can put children’s heart and bones and their future fertility at risk. The treatment involves painful daily injections and costs $5000 to $6000 a month. The Geiers use 10 times the recommended dose. The company that makes Lupron does not support its use for this purpose.

Like Wakefield, the Geiers have been accused of professional misconduct. They built their own lab in their basement and formed their own institute to conduct Lupron studies. Then they formed their own Institutional Review Board (IRB) to approve studies. IRBs are required by law and must follow strict guidelines to ensure that studies are ethical and to protect the rights of subjects. The IRB they formed was illegal. They packed the board with friends and relatives: every single member of this IRB was either one of the Geiers, an anti-thimerosal activist, a Geier associate, or a lawyer suing on behalf of “vaccine-injured” clients. One was the mother of a child who was a subject in the research. Even worse, they let the principal investigator sit as the chair of the IRB overseeing his own research protocols. Oh, and the IRB wasn’t even registered until 2 years after the research was done.

Mark Geier has made a career of testifying as an expert witness in autism cases. He has not impressed the judges. Here are a few of the judge’s comments:

* “Seriously intellectually dishonest”
* “ … not reliable or grounded in scientific methodology and procedure … his testimony is subjective belief and unsupported speculation.”
* “I cannot give his opinion any credence.”
* “ … a professional witness in areas for which he has no training, expertise, and experience.”

When thimerosal was removed from vaccines, there were no studies showing that it was harmful. After its removal, study after study showed that it was not harmful. But activist groups didn’t let the new evidence interfere with their beliefs.

Anti-vaccine groups have viciously attacked medical doctors and researchers for simply stating what the current scientific evidence shows. They accuse them of being shills for “Big Pharma” or covering up for government agencies, and they call them offensive names; but they don’t stop there. They threaten people who write about the scientific evidence, and they threaten their children. Dr. Offit, the author of Autism’s False Prophets, received a direct death threat that got the FBI involved. He had to use a bodyguard and cancel a book tour. One threatening phone call ominously demonstrated that the caller knew Offit’s children’s names, ages, and where they went to school. Another scientist who received threats was so afraid for her children’s safety that she vowed never to write anything about autism again. One anti-vaccine activist had the bad grace to accuse science blogger Orac of lying when he said he was mourning his mother-in-law’s death from cancer. She refused to believe he could be sorry his mother-in-law died because he’s not sorry about supporting vaccines that kill children.

There was no thimerosal in any vaccine except the flu vaccine after 2002. The “mercury militia” expected autism rates to drop, thereby proving the mercury connection. Autism rates rose. Instead of relinquishing their belief, they made implausible attempts to implicate new sources of atmospheric mercury, from cremations of bodies with mercury amalgam fillings or from pollution wafted across the Pacific from China.
The Vaccines-In-General Scare

If the MMR scare can be attributed to Andrew Wakefield and the mercury scare to Neal Halsey, the next stage of hysteria is epitomized by Jenny McCarthy, actress and anti-vaccine activist extraordinaire.

Jenny’s son Evan is autistic. At first she subscribed to the fanciful notion that she was an Indigo mother and Evan was a Crystal child. Indigos are “difficult” children who are alleged to possess special traits or abilities such as telepathy, empathy, and creativity, and are said to represent the next stage in human evolution. Many of them fit the diagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Crystal children represent an even more advanced evolutionary step. They are “so sensitive, so vulnerable to the world around them, that they go inward, disconnect as best they can from even humans and do their best to survive in a world where they really don’t yet fit.” They are often diagnosed as autistic.

After a while McCarthy gave up on that fantasy and accepted that Evan was autistic. She became convinced that vaccines had caused his autism. She treated him with unproven dietary restrictions, anti-yeast treatments, and supplements, and claims to have cured him. She thinks her “Mommy instincts” are more valid than science. She says “My science is Evan, and he’s at home. That’s my science.” She realizes that withholding vaccines will lead to the deaths of children. As quoted by Time magazine:

I do believe sadly it’s going to take some diseases coming back to realize that we need to change and develop vaccines that are safe. If the vaccine companies are not listening to us, it’s their f___ing fault that the diseases are coming back. They’re making a product that’s s___. If you give us a safe vaccine, we’ll use it. It shouldn’t be polio versus autism.

She and her partner Jim Carrey have spoken out at every opportunity on talk shows, on the Internet, and through books and public appearances. When someone questions Jenny’s beliefs her usual tactic is to try to shout them down. She is supported by maverick doctor Jay Gordon, who values listening to parents over science and who supports a delayed vaccine schedule not because of any evidence but just because he thinks it’s a good idea. On one talk show, a pregnant mother with several autistic children tried to tell Gordon that her child who had the worst autism was the one who had not been vaccinated. He not only refused to listen to what she was saying but tried to drown her out, loudly insisting she mustn’t vaccinate the new baby.

A member of Quackwatch’s “Healthfraud” online discussion list reported sitting next to Evan’s paternal grandmother at a dinner. Grandma said Evan’s symptoms of autism were evident before he was vaccinated, and he is not doing as well as Jenny says. Grandma is writing her own book — I look forward to its revelations.

Jenny and her cohorts claim they are not anti-vaccine, but they are certainly a good facsimile thereof. The goalposts keep moving. First it was the MMR vaccine, then it was thimerosal, then it was mercury from all sources, then it was other vaccine ingredients, then it was too many vaccines, then it was giving vaccines too early. They will not be satisfied until science can offer a 100% safe and a 100% effective vaccine proven to have no side effects of any kind even in a rare susceptible individual. That’s not going to happen in this universe.

The other vaccine ingredients that have been questioned include formaldehyde, aluminum, ether, anti-freeze, and human aborted fetal tissue. Scientists have explained over and over that these ingredients are either not present in vaccines or are harmless, but activists ignore the facts and keep making the same false claims. Formaldehyde is harmless in small amounts and is even produced naturally in the human body. Aluminum is an adjuvant used to increase the efficacy of vaccines, and is not harmful. Ether might be used in the manufacturing process but is not present in the vaccines. There is no ethylene glycol or even diethylene glycol in vaccines. (Anti-freeze is ethylene glycol.) And to obtain enough virus to make a vaccine, the virus must be grown in tissue cultures that were originally derived from monkey, chicken, or sometimes human fetal cells; but there is no human or animal tissue of any kind present in the vaccine itself. Apple trees grow in soil, but there is no soil in applesauce.

Some anti-vaccine websites perpetuate the myth that infectious diseases were already disappearing and that the vaccines had nothing to do with it. Those myths are easily dispelled by historical data. Vaccine critics ignore the large body of evidence from incidents around the world where as the vaccination rate dropped, the rate of disease rose; and when the vaccination rate rose again, the disease rate dropped. No one can seriously deny the effectiveness of vaccines. They are the most impressive accomplishment of modern medicine.

Giving up the known benefits of vaccines because of a vague hypothetical possibility of risk is a poor trade-off. We were able to eradicate smallpox, and we ought to be able to eradicate all the diseases that are spread solely by human-to-human contact. Once enough people have been vaccinated to eradicate the disease, no one will ever have to be vaccinated for that disease again. Smallpox is long gone; polio and measles are next on the list. Polio had been reduced to only 3 countries a few years ago. Then Nigeria stopped vaccinating due to rumors that the vaccines were an American plot to sterilize their children or give them AIDS. The polio rate soared and the disease broke out to several other countries, as far away as Malaysia.

When the rate of immunization reaches a certain level, the population is protected by what we call herd immunity. It means there are not enough susceptible people for the disease to keep spreading through a community. In many places the herd immunity has already been lost. It is only a matter of time before diseases break out again. One traveler from a country with polio could reintroduce the disease into the U.S. Lowered vaccination rates endanger even those who have been vaccinated, because the protection is not 100%. People who are immunosuppressed, chronically ill, or too young to have been vaccinated are also put at risk. Parents who choose to delay vaccination are prolonging their children’s period of risk. And they are endangering everyone else’s public health.

Scientists had been urged to “listen to the parents.” They did listen to the parents and then conducted research to test the parents’ hypotheses. There were various kinds of studies in different countries by different research groups. The results were consistent:

* 10 studies showed MMR doesn’t cause autism
* 6 studies showed thimerosal doesn’t cause autism
* 3 studies showed thimerosal doesn’t cause subtle neurological problems

Now it’s the parents who won’t listen to the scientists.

Autistic children and their parents are being misled and victimized with useless, untested, disproven, expensive, time-consuming, and even dangerous treatments. Despite the evidence that mercury doesn’t cause autism, children are still being treated with IV chelation to remove mercury — at least one child has died as a result. Along with Lupron injections for chemical castration, children are being treated with secretin, restricted diets, supplements of all kinds, intravenous hydrogen peroxide, DAN (Defeat Autism Now) protocols, cranial manipulation, facilitated communication, and other nonsense. One family was strongly urged to take out a second mortgage on their home so they could buy a home hyperbaric oxygen chamber.

The real tragedy is that all this hoopla is diverting attention from research into effective treatments (usually behavioral) and into the real causes of autism (almost certainly genetic, with environmental triggers not ruled out).

An anti-anti-vaccine backlash is now afoot. Outbreaks of vaccine-preventable diseases are being reported. Scientists are speaking out. Blogs like Respectful Insolence and Science-Based Medicine have covered the subject in depth. The Chicago Tribune published an exposé of the Geiers.9 Even Reader’s Digest has contradicted Jenny. They said that vaccines save lives and do not cause autism and they stressed that the science is not on Jenny’s side. Let us hope that sanity will prevail before too many more children die from vaccine-preventable diseases. They are dying now. The Jenny McCarthy Body Count webpage is keeping track of the numbers.
References

1. ^ Offit, Paul. 2008. Autism’s False Prophets: Bad Science, Risky Medicine, and the Search for a Cure. Columbia University Press.
2. ^ Wakefield A.J., et al. 1998. “Ileal-Lymphoid-Nodular Hyperplasia, Non-Specific Colitis, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder in Children.” Lancet 351: 637:41.
3. ^ Wakefield A.J., et al. 1993. “Evidence of Persistent Measles Virus Infection in Crohn’s Disease.” Journal of Medical Virology, 39: 345–53.
4. ^Chadwick N., et al. 1998. “Measles Virus RNA is Not Detected in Inflammatory Bowel Disease Using Hybrid Capture and Reverse Transcription Followed by the Polymerase Chain Reaction.” J Med Virol., 55(4):305–11.
5. ^ Uhlmann V., et al. 2002. “Potential Viral Pathogenic Mechanism for New Variant Inflammatory Bowel Disease.” Mol Pathol, 55(2):84–90.
6. ^ Details can be found on Brian Deer’s website: http://briandeer.com/wakefield-deer.htm
7. ^ Bernard S., et al. 2001. “Autism: A Novel Form of Mercury Poisoning.” Med Hypotheses 56:462–71.
8. ^ Offit, Paul. 2007. “Thimerosal and Vaccines: A Cautionary Tale.” NEJM 357:1278-9, Sept. 27.
9. ^ Tsouderos, Trine. 2009. “‘Miracle Drug’ Called Junk Science.” The Chicaco Tribune, May 21. Available online at http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/chi-autism-lupron-may21,0,242705.story?page=1

An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

2009-05-29T21:44:00.005-04:00

A while ago one of my internet friends from the Simply Syndicated forums, a young lad named Kumar, informed me that he had never seen any Star Trek. After I got over my shock and dismay that such a brilliant and insightful lad could make it to fifteen without boldly going where no one had gone before, I decided that this situation could not stand. So I, along with a few others, began to apply the peer pressure. Finally he reached a breaking point and issued a challenge to yours truly. He promised to watch one season of The Original Series if I would watch The Godfather. Now some of you may be thinking 'no big deal', but I had never seen The Godfather, nor did I ever intend to see it. It's just not my kind of film. But when I made it clear last year that I had never seen the 'greatest movie ever made' there was a great hue and cry. Numerous people tried to convince me to watch it, but it took a chance to bring a new person into the Federation to finally make it happen. Kumar devoured The Original Series, and the six movies, so I, reluctantly, rented and watched The Godfather today.

Meh.

I can see why people like it so much. It is a very well done, and for the most part well acted film. And who knew Abe Vigoda was ever sort of young? I can see why regular folks enjoy watching powerful people who do as they please with little or no fear of the laws and rules of society. It's much the same way I react to vampires or superheroes. I guess we all dream of being above the law. But ultimately these are despicable people doing unconscionable things in a reprehensible way. About 2/3rds of the way through the film I thought what a shame that the only 'good' person in the family, Michael, is corrupted and pulled into the business. But then I realized that his life outside the family was the sham. He wasn't a good man driven bad by circumstance. He was a bad man trying to play good and failing. And there wasn't a single killing in the movie that inspired even the tiniest shred of sympathy. On the contrary, I rather enjoyed watching the bottom feeders feed on each other.

And then there's Brando. Call it blasphemy, call it heresy, but I've never been that impressed with Brando, and least of all with his performance as Don Corleone. So he stuffed cotton in his cheeks and mumbled a lot. Lon Chaney did a hell of a lot more with less recognition. His performance was one note and bored the crap out of me. And the voice he affected, that monotonous whine drove me crazy. I was quite glad when he was in the hospital since he didn't talk for 15 minutes. Actually the stand out performance, in my opinion, was Lenny Montana as Luca Brasi. His portrayal of the hulking Corleone torpedo as he nervously rehearsed his thank you for being invited to the wedding at the beginning of the picture was a heart breaking counterpoint to the rest of his compatriots. He was the only person to not ask the Don for a favor. He just wanted to say thank you. It was the only touching moment in this hard, cold blooded film.

I don't know if this is an accurate depiction of mob life, and I really don't care. It was a good movie, and I'm glad I've seen it if for no other reason than to get everyone off my back about seeing it, but I doubt I'll ever watch it again...and don't even think about trying to get me to watch The Godfather II.

Ciao, bella.
Marius

Lemming, Lemming, Lemming of the BDA...

2009-05-28T06:17:00.002-04:00

This little meme is raging through the blogosphere like swine flu through a news room, so who am I to buck the trend:

1. What author do you own the most books by?
I'd have to say either Arthur C. Clarke or Issac Asimov.

2. What book do you own the most copies of?
I can't think of any multiple copies off hand.

3. Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
What did you ask me that for?

4. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Robert Heinlein's Friday.

5. What book have you read the most times in your life?
Dune.

6. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
The Runaway Robot by Lester Del Rey. I still have a copy. It was the first non-Star Trek Sci Fi I ever read.

7. What is the worst book you’ve read?
How Much for Just the Planet. It's a Star Trek novel and is simply horrible.

8. What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
Night Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko.

9. If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Good Omens by Neil Gaimon and Terry Pratchett. Only this pair could make Armageddon so funny.

10. Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for literature?
I am woefully unqualified to answer that.

11. What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I have recently come to the conclusion that it is impossible for anyone other than Peter Jackson to make a satisfying book-to-movie translation, therefore I humbly request that no more books be made into movies.

12. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
See above.

13. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
If I have had such a dream I don't remember it.

14. What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
I don't consider any book to be 'lowbrow'. The act of reading is, in and of itself, highbrow.

15. What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
Anne Rice's 'Mayfair Witches' books. God, what a slog!

16. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
The Compleat Works of Wilm. Shkspr., abridged by The Reduced Shakespeare Company.

17. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
I don't know anyone from either country.

18. Roth or Updike?
I am not programmed to respond in this area.

19. David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
I've seen Sedaris on TV.

20. Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Shakespeare...it's actually easier to read

21. Austen or Eliot?
I have enjoyed the movies based on Jane Austin books I've seen, but I've not read either.

22. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
I have read what I have wanted to read since I left school, I feel no shame over what I have or haven't read.

23. What is your favorite novel?
Friday by Robert Henilein.

24. Play?
Sure, what shall we play? But seriously, folks, my favorite play of all time is The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde.

25. Poem?
There once was a man from Nantucket... Just kidding. This is my favorite poem:
Abou Ben Adhem
Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An Angel writing in a book of gold:

Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the Presence in the room he said,
"What writest thou?" The Vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord
Answered, "The names of those who love the Lord."

"And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay, not so,"
Replied the Angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerily still; and said, "I pray thee, then,
Write me as one who loves his fellow men."

The Angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,
And, lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest!

26. Essay?
Uhhhh, can I buy a vowel?

27. Short story?
The Star by Arthur C. Clarke

28. Work of non-fiction?
A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

29. Who is your favorite writer?
Some of my faves are Clarke, Asimov, Dan Simmons, and Roger Zelazny.

30. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Once I've read them all I'll let you know.

31. What is your desert island book?
Dune

32. And … what are you reading right now?
Ilium by Dan Simmons and Dawn of Destiny by Lee Stephen.

WANT!!!

2009-05-27T09:46:00.002-04:00

And you can get it here.

Nerdvana is but a mouse click away. :-)

Pretty Kitties

2009-05-17T14:25:00.002-04:00

It's so hot today that Starbuck melted:

But Artemis, ever the coolest frood in the house, merely demanded her close-up:

And So...

2009-05-16T19:51:00.003-04:00

Well, it has been a while, my malchiks. Gather ye round so that I might try to make it up to you.

Firstly it has been the end of the semester, which brings with it much craziness and activity frenetic. We have had some really cool stuff happen at work. A local theatre, American Stage, is moving into a new facility soon, and they are selling off as much of their stuff as possible to make the move easier. One of the most aggravating problems in our theatre is the thirty-year-old seating. It is squeaky, ugly, and the most uncomfortable seats you will find this side of Old Sparky, but since we are the red-headed step-child of the college we cannot get any funding for renovations. Well, American Stage made us an offer to sell us their seats at about a fifth of what it would cost to buy new ones, and at the same time we managed to convince the powers that be that we needed new carpeting as well. The negotiations dragged on, and finally we got permission to make the purchase...with our own money. Well, that part sucked, but at least we are replacing a large percentage of our seats(American Stage's auditorium was less than half the size of ours) with attractive, quiet, and above all comfortable seating. And we're getting new carpet in the deal. Next we are getting the hideously brown walls painted. Yay! Now if we can just come up with the $200K I need to upgrade the medieval lighting system. ;-)

And now on to much more important matters. Star Trek.

It's back, baby!

Now let me give you a few caveats here. Star Trek XI is not a flawless movie; not by a long shot. There are plot holes you can drive a truck through, and the science is probably the worst of all the movies, and I cannot refute anyone who claims they hated this film. If your first introduction to Trek was The Next Generation or later, you probably will not enjoy this one. If, however, you cut your SciFi teeth on the original five year mission this movie is a very satisfying trip back to your childhood.

My primary concerns were how would I deal with other actors portraying Kirk and company, but let me say that these guys did a fantastic job. Chris Pine pulled off the unthinkably difficult task of channeling Jim Kirk without channeling Bill Shatner. His subtle Kirkisms are almost subliminal and with one exception almost require multiple viewings to catch. Karl Urban's Dr. McCoy bugged me at first, but on my second viewing I warmed to him. Zoe Saldana was amazing as Uhura, which was a good thing since she is one of the central drivers of the plot. Simon Pegg's Scotty was a joy to watch, and John Cho's Sulu is part sub driver, part swashbuckler. Anton Yelchin's Chekhov bothered me a bit at first as well, but as I got used to his accent I warmed to the character. And I saved the best for last. Zach Quinto's Spock is flawless. I have seen a bit of Heroes, and was not impressed with Quinto, but he nailed Spock. Although this Spock is more open to things our Spock would never have been. But I say too much. ;-)

The supporting cast is excellent with two real standouts. Faran Tahir as Capt. Robau of the USS Kelvin is only on screen for five or six minutes, but he is awesome. And Ben Cross as Sarek totally owns the part while still honoring the late Mark Leonard. The only person who is somewhat forgettable, and this isn't his fault as an actor, is Eric Bana as Nero. There is a back story to Nero that gives his character much greater depth and motivation, but most of it is either in the comic series Star Trek: Countdown or ended up on the cutting room floor. This is a shame because Bana plays a great baddie, but he was shackled with the fact of being secondary to the actual story of getting the crew onto the Enterprise.

::::::WARNING-SPOILER ALERT-WARNING-SPOILER ALERT-WARNING-SPOILER ALERT:::::::

And what is that story? In a nutshell a Romulan mining vessel, the Narada, is accidentally sent back in time after a disaster on Romulus. They encounter the USS Kelvin, a starship who's crew includes George Kirk and his pregnant wife. The Romulan Captain, Nero, kills the Kelvin's captain and destroys the ship, but not before first officer Kirk evacuates the ship and then sacrifices himself so the crew, and his newly born son James, can escape. This creates a new timeline where Jim Kirk never knew his father, and seemed destined to never join Starfleet. What follows is the tale of how the crew we sort of know get together and save the day. And this is where the film excels. The Original Series was not big on the science, or the technobabble, or even the hardware as much as later series were, but the relationships between the actors were the heart and soul of Star Trek. This movie captures those relationships beautifully. Even the cliche of Kirk and Spock hating each other at first was made to work smoothly and believably. And even though this is an alternate universe, with an uglier Enterprise(in my opinion), JJ Abrams bends over backwards to throw us die-hard fans bones left and right. From Scotty's 'I'm givin' her all she's got!' to McCoy's 'I'm a doctor, not a ____' to a cleverly placed tribble Abrams does his level best to make his own movie without alienating us. And the irony is that despite the annoying 'This is not your father's Star Trek' ad campaign, it is exactly your father's...meaning my generation...Star Trek. Dodgy science, sketchy plot devices, tangential monster fights, and big flashy battles...you can't get much more TOS.

By all rights I should have hated this movie, and there is a scene in the middle that has so many coincidences that I very nearly lost my enjoyment of the film, but again the way the actors so perfectly portrayed the characters I just maintained my willing suspension of disbelief, finding rationalizations for what was happening rather than decrying it. And the music that plays over the closing credits brought tears to my eyes.

The bottom line is that I love this movie, warts and all, not because it's the best of the series, but because it let me be ten years old again. Both times I've seen it I left the theater with a big grin on my face, and when I see it again with my wife I expect that grin to be even bigger.

Live long and prosper, my friends.

Marius

Episode 16.5: The New Movie

2009-05-15T17:42:00.003-04:00

Wanna hear what I thought about the new Star Trek movie before you can read it? Go to www.simplysyndicated.com/shows/starbase66 to find out. :-)

One More Placeholder...

2009-05-15T05:51:00.004-04:00

I promise to do a real, honest-to-goodness blog this weekend, including a thorough discussion of my love for the new Star Trek movie, but here's something silly to tide you over. (fellow bloggers, I won't tag anyone with this, but should you feel it might be amusing, and since I stole it from another blog...) ;-)

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Drunk alcohol? (Seriously?) Here you have 40 questions for the people who are a little older...

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Rent. It's most of my paycheck.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
An Indian restaurant not too far from here who's name eludes me.

3. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Searching for antiquities in the Amazon.

4. How many colleges did you attend?
Three.

5. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was on top of the stack.

6. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I often meditate upon the vagaries of the petroleum industry and its arcane and unfathomable pricing methods. Then I usually puke.

7. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Hey, Starbuck let me sleep all the way til 4:50 this morning.

8. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Is it really possible to eliminate the need for dark matter in gravitational calculations by simply reworking Newton's second law, or are such concepts bantha poodoo?

9. Do you miss being a child?
No, and you can't make me, NYAH!!!!!!

10. What errand/chore do you despise?
Disposing of the bodies.

11. Get up early or sleep in?
I'd love to sleep in, but between cats, the kid, and insomnia it rarely happens.

12. Have you found real love yet?
Sure, it rolled under the couch.

13. Favorite lunch meat?
Squidloaf.

14. What do you get every time you go into Target?
Annoyed.

15. Beach or lake?
Beach...at night.

16. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I need to check with my wife on this. Can I get back to you?

17. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
The former sing too high, and the latter piss me off in Target.

18. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Jeffrey Dahmer(I may not like roller coasters, but I do enjoy a good thrill ride).

19. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Nope.

20. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
You mean beating someone who answered their cell phone in a movie senseless with it isn't a fire extinguisher's intended purpose?

21. Ring tone?
Psycho Killer by The Talking Heads.

22. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Uh, the woods?(that's a weird question)

23. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Pretty much any part of California.

24. Do you go to church?
Not if I can avoid it.

25. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Again, I'd need to check with the wife.

26. How old are you?
Siiiiiiiigh, 45

27. Do you have a go-to person?
I am the go-to person.

28. Are you where you want to be in life?
Almost. Once we get our own house I'll be happy.

29. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
The Adventures of Superman, Johnny Quest, Bugs Bunny, Star Trek TAS, Samson and Goliath, and later Tiny Toons and the Animaniacs.

30. What about you do you think has changed the most?
My waistline.

31. Looking back at high school, were they the best years of your life?
No, not at all, but I wish I now only had to worry about my crush on Kathi, or cleaning my room, or could I scrape up enough gas money for the weekend.

32. Are there times you still feel like a kid?
Give me a new phaser to play with, and I become 12 again.

33. Did you ever own troll dolls?
Um, no.

34. Did you have a pager?
I had several.

35. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
Bryant Park in Lake Worth. We'd hang out in the tree, or 'hit the road', or go over the bridge to Lake Worth beach(at least until the old farts got it to close at 9pm).

36. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
Nah, I was too up tight and straight laced.

37. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
I'd have to say it's a three way tie between my dad, mom, and step-dad. All three taught me things, both positive and negative, that I use every day.

38. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
Yeah, my former boss Norm. I have tried to pattern myself after him in the way I deal with students and colleagues.

39. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age”?
Oh, god, yes I have actually uttered, and typed, those words. Kill me.

40. Is it better to love and lose it or never to love at all?
Better? No. Inevitable? Yes.

No, Not My Little Darlin's

2009-05-09T06:49:00.002-04:00

Two Lumps

Starbuck's Dream

2009-05-08T05:54:00.002-04:00

Forget Zombies...They Are Coming!

2009-05-08T05:19:00.001-04:00

Behold the Fleet

2009-05-01T21:32:00.004-04:00

And lo, the Duke caused the fleet to pass from his place to my place, thus unleashing the uber-nerd, and so it came to pass:

We're Back In The Universe

2009-04-29T07:47:00.001-04:00

Attention all hands! Starbase 66 is back, baby! This week we discuss the works of Richard Matheson, the brains behind The Omega Man and I Am Legend. Find us here from now on: http://starbase66.libsyn.com/

Oh, Yeah, I Almost Forgot...

2009-04-28T05:28:00.002-04:00

On Friday, as the day was winding down, one of our seniors, I'll call her Anastasia because that's about as far from her real name as I can get at this time of the morning, came into my office with a young lady bedecked in baggy black garments, with numerous piercings and carrying a skateboard. "This is Penelope," quoth Anastasia to me as if this explained much. Alas, it did not. My blank look of befuddlement encouraged my young visitor to elucidate. "She is the president of the Pride club here on campus." Ah, methought, the plot thickens. I had been of some assistance to the Gay/Lesbian/Bi-Sexual/Transgendered club in the past, and expected to be asked to assist with the preparations for an extravaganza of some sort. "A pleasure," quoth I, "and how may I be of use to you ladies this fine day?" They then spun for me a tale of woe from the years prior. A tale of a faculty sponsor who, though enabling the club existence by affixing their name to the appropriate document, did little else, and was now departing the employ of our learned establishment, and thus was about to do even less. Would I, they implored, assume the mantle of sponsor, and by such assumption grant life to this most worthy endeavor?

"Uhhhhhh, sure." Said I.

So forms were signed, and thanks were bestowed upon me, e'en more so when I promised that I would not be the silent, invisible sponsor. This is untrod territory for your humble correspondent, and the abdominal lepidoptera flutter mercilessly when I consider the task ahead, but I am deeply honored to be asked to serve in this way, and shall endeavor to do my best.

See ya,
Marius

Netiquette Quandary

2009-04-27T05:50:00.002-04:00

The digital age has brought with it some interesting questions of propriety, and I am faced with a few such dilemmas right now. Among the lesser posers are just how long does one keep the email addresses and blog links of someone who is deceased? It is a bittersweet moment when scrolling through bookmarks or contact lists only to come across such ephemeral mementos. But ultimately that is a personal decision, and not really apropos of this discussion. No, the real conundrum has to do with friends of those passed on. My mom was a religious Conservative, and we often had 'spirited' debates over the merits of the various peccadilloes of the Republican party, so much so that it ceased to be fun to bait her on such issues. She actually thought George W. Bush was a good president. She was also a member of an online prayer circle, but a couple of years ago her computer broke and she asked me to contact one of her online friends to pass along information. I didn't mind, but this woman has kept me in her email list and has, of late, started to send out right-wing propaganda. Today it was Newt Gingrich's newsletter. I started to send a 'please remove me from your list' email, then I wondered if that would be rude. Should I just ignore such mails? Should I ask her to stop? Should I start sending her editorials by Jeneane Garofolo and Al Franken? She seems like a nice person, and I'd hate to offend, but I really am not her target audience. What do you all think?