Life in Austin

2008-05-15T16:02:00.002-05:00

Well well well. Here I am. I've felt uneasy, my last post of song lyrics holding out an emolicious fermata of woe far longer than the strife itself lasted.

Long story short, I'm growing. And it's painful and good.

And finally, a chat with Ryan-

erin: ugh do you ever choke on your own spit and cough like a dumbass?
erin: <------ WINNER
it's always a cough that lasts forever
and you feel so stupid while it's happening
and everyone is like "are you ok???"
and they don't know whether to laugh or be worried
my esophagus is tricky, man. i haven't figured out to work it yet

ryan: you got the model with tonsils, that shit is old school

erin: xhibit, pimp my throat, pleez
my hoopty is sad

ryan: oh i'll pimp the throat

2008-04-26T10:40:00.002-05:00

But someone,
They could have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.

2008-02-21T14:44:00.002-05:00

Your intrepid explorer/prelated b-day girl-to-be here, all's well.

I'm eating curried corn and brown rice soup from the cafeteria. Nom.

I started learning how to bellydance, thanks Fit TV and DVR and Shimmy.

Special songs you should acquire immediately, I'm surrrrious:

"Razor Love," Neil Young
"Flashing Lights," Kanye West
"Bodysnatchers," Radiohead (who I'm seeing in Houston with Ryan and all of our friends on his birthday, wow I'm the best girlfriend ever for getting these tickets, dude RADIOHEAD)
"Dancing on Our Graves," The Cave Singers
"How My Heart Behaves," Feist

Hmm, I thought I had written a post between now and the last... oh wait that was a real paper journal entry. I've been MIA mostly due to the introduction of cable television (including movie channels, thanks Jonathan) into my apartment. DVR is a wonderful invention. I really enjoy having a library of shows, can start them anytime, and no commercials. Yes, thank you, my name is Erin and I've joined the 21st century and adopted an old-hat technology but damnit it's changed mah life!

Yeah I've been gorging on the boob tube lately, but its novelty is already starting to wear thin. Can novelty wear thin? Is novelty like a poorly made sweater?

I have arranged to have the next two days off of work, giving myself a 4 day weekend that ends on my birthday. Tomorrow at 4 am a group of friends and friends-of-friends is departing for Guadalupe Mountains National Park, 8 hours from here, home of the highest peak in Tejas. Where I'll be camping on a windy freezing mountain with my boyfriend because he's insane and I'm insane and why not, happy 23! He's carrying the heavy shit. Out there is home to UT's observatory, apparently some of the clearest skies in the U.S. Should be an adventure, if nothing else. And sushi for my birthday dinner on Monday. Jonathan already took me to Hyde Park Grill last night for dinner and hippydippy guava margaritas. I am blessed with good friends and good times ahead.

If I don't return, the Chupathingy got me.

Love,
Erin

2008-01-29T15:00:00.000-05:00

Aaaaaaand I AM screwed, after all. The people in the hospital with their knowing looks were right.

The bill came to almost $7200. And that might not even be all of it. I could get hit individually by the ENT doc, the radiologist... (here's where a breakdown of charges would be helpful)

It's disturbing, because I knew I had a medical bill coming, and that it was going to be a couple thousand dollars or so (ha), but now that I have it in hand... last night I could physically feel my body taking on a burden. And I fear that despite whatever else may be going on in my life that's good and right and happy, I will be saddled with this until it's paid off, this extra feeling, this worry, this panicky tightness in my chest because That's More Money Than I Have and There Go All of My Plans that Require Money. This is what it feels like to have debt.

In other news, my good good friend Dan(ch) called me last night, after we hadn't talked in years, literally, and we had a long talk, and he may visit me soon!

There Will Be Blood was very interesting. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

Love.

2008-01-22T12:31:00.000-05:00

Life! the pursuit. Of sushi and comfort, among other things, including myself.

I might go into the Peace Corps. I might go to Thailand and travel around SE Asia for a bit.

Try to have health insurance, if you can. I had an abscess behind my tonsil that landed me in the hospital. I had to have it drained, which is as gross and was in fact more painful than it sounds. Admitting to people you don't have coverage is a surreal moment that repeats itself many times during a trip to the e.r. They treat you differently, you see it in their most immediate reaction. I'm a social pariah. I'm screwed. How could I? What's wrong with you? Don't you know better?

While everyone was chanting "cedar fever, cedar fever," I should've been treated for an infection before it got blown outta control.

I landed a babysitting gig on my Monday afternoons off. Two little girls who seem to worship me already. Extra pocket money, gets me out of the house. I get to teach them a bit of Spanish!

This week: sushi tonight, There Will Be Blood (finally), a War Against Sleep show, etc. Bad weather and badass times.

Love.

1/2/08

2008-01-02T17:09:00.001-05:00

Worst song of the year: "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven.

This song is popular. Getting more so, some how! I fear for Decision 2008. My personal idea of hell is being forced to listen to "Paralyzer" under a Huckabee/Giuliani presidency.

New Year's Eve. An epic beer pong tourney. Mini Roman candles.

I came to work today in a wrinkled stained sweater, torn jeans, hair unwashed and unkempt, unwashed face, no make up... hellloooo 2008!

To my credit, I was wearing deodorant and had brushed my teef.

I'm not prepared to live the life of a vagaBond Girl.

Everyone should have someone who kisses their forehead.

This year I met a man who has changed my life, forever, for the better. My new hair guy Mark.

Other things: I spent my first Christmas away from my family. I graduated from college. I went to Bonnaroo. I got a couple jobs. I ate sushi. I cried. I left Dan. I bought furniture. I lived with 5 people and 6 animals. I got a roommate for 2008. I'm trying to make friends.

I do seriously need to lose at least 15 pounds.

I'm in a new place, in a new time. It's a new year.

2007-12-08T12:22:00.000-05:00

Drag king show fell through, ended up consuming too much pizza and beer at The Parlor for Jeni's birthday. Festivus party tonight. Bastrop tomorrow.

I have some sort of vicious seasonal allergy/sinus infection somethingorother. Could be worse.

I found a roommate to help split the cost of mi apartamento muy caro. He's moving in come January. Look ma, no meth labs!

Things are looking up. I'm getting a massage and sushi for Christmas. I need a haircut, I think. I need to read more. I need to register to vote. I want to get in touch with a stained glass artist.

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57DdviStOFo

Read this: http://www.nerve.com/fiction/libaire/genesis/index.asp?page=1

Watch this too: http://www.apple.com/itunes/ads/maryj/

Love.

2007-12-02T19:06:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe it's December already. I have my first real Christmas tree in my apartment! Been pretty busy. Work, making friends, hanging out with Ryan. The fall went so much faster than the summer, and I really wish I had that outdoorsy weather (today being 75-80, partly cloudy doesn't count) to hike/kayak/frisbee golf in. Despite this, I am enjoying the holiday season thus far. Hasn't sunk in that I'm not going to see my family for Christmas.

obgynote: when you're not on birth control, getting your period is fantastic. Cause for celebration, even. An "I'm not having an unwanted baby" party. One of these days I'm going to pony up the cash for the non-hormonal IUD.

On tap this week: a drag king show, a birthday celebration, a trip to the river, one of Ryan's bands is playing a show.
Next week: holiday lights in Zilker Park!

2007-11-13T10:56:00.000-05:00

This must be on my way.

Smashing Pumpkins tonight. First they rescheduled the date, now they've moved it up an hour. What self-respecting rock concert starts at 7? I ask you.

I've been waiting to see them forever though, so I don't care if they move the show to 7 in the morning on a Sunday, I'm going.

My new mantra is: I don't need a second opinion.

I'm trying to rely less on others and just do what I want. It's a tough habit to break, because I have to recognize that I'm doing it and reverse my thinking.

My co-worker Danielle has inspired me on this front.

The other day I was going to ask Ryan to help me decide where to put certain art in my living room, and I was like, fuck that.

I used to ask Dan's opinion of everything and just do what he wanted, and then I realized I like it better my way, and I should have just done it. I don't need a second opinion. I don't need to compromise.

It doesn't make me selfish. It makes me my own person. I'm not infringing on anyone by decorating my apartment (or cutting my hair or whatever) the way I see fit. I don't need to take anyone else into consideration about it.

Asking for an opinion on everything is just subverting my independence and decision-making and self-esteem. It reinforces that my desire or what I think is right or my idea needs validation from someone else before I can act on it.

Which is bullshit.

So I'm putting a stop to it. Slowly but surely. And simultaneously gaining a life. My life.

Love.

2007-11-06T12:54:00.000-05:00

The Avett Brothers show was smashing. Smashing Pumpkins are postponed until next week.

"We do not know why, when we think of them, we feel all of a sudden that the earth is good and that it is not a burden to live." - Anthem

2007-11-04T16:45:00.000-05:00

Today, due to an unfortunate caffeine crash, I feel hazy, and hormonal. Like I'm about to throw up or cry any second.

First you do the thing. Then you get the courage to do the thing.

I am incredibly satisfied to be living here in this city. I feel full of opportunity and promise. My arms have never been wider.

Love.

2007-10-23T12:48:00.000-05:00

I broke up with Dan. In the interest of privacy, I'm not going to discuss what went down here. But if you read this, you should know.

Amazing Halloween costume idea thought of too late to pull of this year, but I'm going to definitely do it next year: Cherry Darling from Planet Terror. Yes yes yes.

This year I'm pretty sure Zombie Schoolgirl is the plan. I'm going to a party on Saturday with Danielle from work to a big gay house filled with fabulous costumed people.

That's all for now.

Love.

2007-10-09T19:08:00.000-05:00

Our apartment is awesome. Oh I love it so.

I wish that jicama salad I made turned out tastier.

Why haven't I gone to the fitness center yet? Lame.

I'm not really watching a show about Geico cavemen. That would be downright ridiculous. It's just on.

In short, I wish Daniel wasn't working late. I miss him!

My female coworkers are all obsessed with The L Word and are lending me DVDs soon so I'll have something to do while he's not around... totally becoming a lesbian.

I hope I didn't have to clarify that I'm kidding, but just in case, not that there's anything wrong with that (I hate that phrase but it works).

Jockeys are really tiny men, but I hear you about the seasonal allergies, Claritin Jockey. Something is polleniferous in the state of Texas. With the increased mucus production (I know you love it when I talk sexy like), chronic headaches and a general feeling of undertheweathertude. I wish I knew what it was: ragweed, cedar.

I don't think I mentioned that I'm getting trained in another position at work and that's exciting.

Life. is good

Love.

2007-10-01T09:47:00.000-05:00

Aaaaaaand.....

We moved into our new place on Saturday!

That was such a quick process. Viewed it on Tuesday, applications in Wednesday, frantically trying to fax* paystubs on Thursday, signed the lease on Friday, the MOVERS* came on Saturday and we had all afternoon to shop at IKEA.

Also, our living room and dining room sets are being delivered tonight. I feel so grown up and AWESOME.*

*fax? You might as well ask me to carve a stone table or smoke signal you.

*Oh God I never want to move myself again. They stacked 7 boxes high on those dollies of theirs and rolled out. It was magical watching them and not knowing what to do except point to the next pile to go.

*This huge apartment is a big blank canvass and I love love love picking out our own stuff and making it ours and not having to share the space or the man or anything any more. We can keep our bedroom door open without 3 dogs rushing in at all hours. I have my own kitchen where I can fill every shelf with my stuff and I don't have to share the fridge and I can cook! Did I mention we have a garden tub? And washer/dryer in-unit?

Dancing around in circles, I am.

Love.

2007-09-22T10:05:00.000-05:00

Life: Got tickets to see The Smashing Pumpkins at The Backyard on November 2. So psyched. I was afraid I was never going to see them in concert.

Work: Still awesome. I checked out a MacBook Pro from their lending program, and let me just say: in love.

Health: I may have developed some seasonal allergies since moving here. Ragweed or cedar or something. Go go gadget mucus. Weight is holding steady, which just means I need to step it up if I'm ever going to lose these last 15 pounds (that I already lost once or twice, natch) for good.

Home: Daniel is wonderful. Trying desperately to find a place of our own as soon as possible. Can't wait to decorate our own abode, have own kitchen, one pet, live closer to work, etc.

Love.

2007-09-01T16:13:00.000-05:00

Girlie consumer post!

I hadn't bought mascara in a long time, due to a combination of free Avon from my mom and samples of Estee Lauder stuff from my grandma. The stuff they gave me worked great, but it was getting old. I remembered how once upon a time I used Maybelline Great Lash, so I grabbed a tube a few weeks ago.

What the hell happened, Great Lash? This was the goopiest stuff I've used in years. It got everywhere and left horrifying black smudges all over my eyelids, took forever to dry... I spent more time cleaning up after it than doing the rest of my makeup combined. It sucked. I'm sure they haven't reformulated in years because it's America's #1 mascara a decade running or something. I forgot to mention that I bought regular, not waterproof but It Never Came Off. I could use eye makeup remover, rub a washcloth over it, wash my face, cry, go to bed, take a shower and rub a washcloth over it again, and use MORE eye makeup remover, and I still had dark leftovers under my eyes. That was probably the most frustrating part of all.

I finally decided it wasn't worth what I was doing and I needed to buy another brand. Enter Cover Girl Volume Exact. -choir of cherubims humming- The brush looks weird but it works. I haven't had to clean up after it, it goes where I want and nowhere else. My lashes look great and it cleans up like a dream, I haven't had to use eye makeup remover once and there's no dark residue left behind. Plus it came with a free eyeliner (I haven't used it yet).

I haven't mentioned here yet how much I love my job. Love it! I am a thousand times happier than I was at the restaurant. And I just got an awesome schedule for the next couple months: 8-5 Sunday-Thursday. How normal is that? I'm realizing I can't do late shifts because I will just sleep all day until I have to work and my quality of life suffers... I can't make time to run errands or work out or cook dinner. So this is great. My first week of training pretty much made me a Mac fangirl. I'm dying to get one of the new iMacs once Leopard comes out and I need a new computer. After years of thinking Macs were strange and frightening, all I needed was an OS X tutorial to understand what I was missing.

Sushi tasting tonight. Roll out!

Love.

2007-08-24T11:18:00.000-05:00

My orientation went well, it was really short, I got my picture taken for my badge (could've looked better for how hard I worked to look good this morning, knowing a picture would be taken), and I'm just in a great mood.

This is the kind of job where the cream rises and they skim it to become permanent employees and move up the ranks, and I am so up for the challenge. I want to be the best, I want to stand out, and I KNOW I can. Going to UVa made me feel like I wasn't that smart, or talented, or interesting, or Ambitious! in comparison to my classmates for years, but now that I'm back out in the real world, I have a lot of my confidence back.

I want the Real badge, not the contract worker one. I want to be able to use the fitness center. I want to be able to drink at their beer bashes. And all I have to do is be smart and motivated, which I am!

This, this is a Good Day.

Currently reading (finally): All the Shah's Men

Love.

2007-08-21T15:55:00.000-05:00

It's either time to shut this thing down for good or start updating regularly, right? RIGHT!?

For example, my last post has me starting the sushi job. This post has me getting a new job which will necessitate me quitting the sushi job. This job, for the time being, is non-disclosurable because it's a super huge company that will legally own anything I think of while at work (uhh), so I'm "not at liberty to say" where I will be working starting on Friday. Except it's the company that makes the phone that's really hot to trot right now. And white earbuds. And sexy, user-friendly computers that have poltergeist lights that slowly blink when they're drowsy. Sleeping. Hibernating? Whatever.

Where to even begin recounting my time as a hostess/server. I spent a lot of the time feeling like a loser because I was working in a restaurant, not in the tech field like I expected. Expected. Expectations. Watch out for those, kids, they're pesky.

There were lots of people to meet, and I had to dress up every day (not business dressy, like going out on a fancy date dressy), and I got to try a lot of great food at staff meals until the servers got in trouble and we were barred from the staff meals, and I stayed up very late with one of my managers who broke a chopstick with a napkin using his Bruce Lee-like chi powers, and my psychic coworker told me I'd break up with Daniel but I think her "reading" was heavily shaded by the fact that she just broke up with her boyfriend, and I learned how to make beginners' chopsticks, and I ate uni, and I never knew how hard it is to work in a restaurant, and I have much more respect for anyone who spends their whole day on their feet serving others, because before this I was truly privileged and I never knew it. It's been weird, and challenging, and boring, and... not all bad, but hell if I want to stay there.

Now that I've got this -new job- Dan and I are going to start seriously looking for our own place, and that'll be another upgrade for our life in Texas so far. We need a bedroom that lets the light in.

Also, I became an AUNT. My sister's baby arrived a few weeks ago. It doesn't feel quite real because I've only seen pictures.

Movies I've seen recently:

The Simpsons Movie
Ratatouille
Alien
Orgazmo
Dune
Romancing the Stone
Wall Street
Midnight Cowboy
Die Hard
Brazil
The Kids Are Alright
The Beach
Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy
The Jerk
Sicko
Reno 911: The Movie
Robocop

And in the very near future we're watching:
King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters
Superbad (tonight at Alamo)
Strange Brew

Dan's birthday was on Wednesday, and I got food poisoning that night that lasted through the weekend.

If you have a Melting Pot restaurant in your greater metro area, for the love of Jebus, GO. So fantastic.

In short, things are getting better all the time. I want to start posting in this thing regularly again.

Love.

2007-07-17T19:01:00.000-05:00

I seem to have landed myself a job.

In the high powered world of sushi.

As a hostess, with aspirations to become a server after a month or so of learning the ropes.

I went in for lunch today and I start tomorrow.

It's a start, and they actually expect me to find real work in the IT field and cut my hours, and hey, new experiences, a paycheck (albeit small) and something to get me out of the house!

And hello, sushi? Dream job. Pay me in salmon.

Love.

2007-06-29T18:47:00.000-05:00

Bonnaroo'd. Moved to Texas. Bought a big bed. Am currently seeking employment. Started running on a treadmill. Thai and Megan are great hosts.

Also, I'm obsessed with the song in this commercial, and as far as I know it is not on iTunes or otherwise available. Darn.

2007-05-31T18:37:00.000-05:00

Graduation. A flight to Boston. A wedding. A final trip to grandma's. On Sunday, the audience of the Democratic debates.

A reunion with Daniel that never has to end. Goodbye, long distance relationship!

Packing. Holding on. Letting go. Breathing in. Breaking through.

Love.

2007-05-16T08:09:00.000-05:00

Free at last, free at last!

My gpa this semester was uh, 1.85. But my cumulative was 3.1, so whatevs, last hellish semester.

Girls night out to celebrate THE END was so unbelievably great. Dancing in our living room to "Ain't no mountain high enough" before heading out to Little John's. So many drinks... I am a zombie this morning. At least my headache is gone!

I am so glad to be done. So glad.

Love.

2007-05-08T18:58:00.000-05:00

Things you can get me:

Amy Winehouse's album
Modest Mouse's new album
The Shins' new album
a gas gift card worth about $1000
a haircut & pedicure

So many exciting things just on the horizon. Now, to get the last of my goddamned work done. Graduation. Travel, excitement, moving. Can't wait.

Love.

2007-04-30T22:27:00.000-05:00

I got this crazy idea upon seeing the lineup for Bonnaroo that it would make an excellent stopping point on Daniel's and my long, strange trip to Austin. Upon calculating how much extra money it would cost to make this happen (including extra trailer rental time, tickets, etc), I tried to discourage myself because it seemed too unreasonable. Then I saw the "Volunteers" section, in which, if you are chosen, they give you a free pass. "Hmm," I thought, "that might even things out." I applied, just for the hell of it, just for the off-chance that it might be workable if the option was available.

I got accepted.

So now we might be going to Bonnaroo.

But for now, I have to perform several miracles of academic brilliance and stamina, and maybe pull one of my first true all-nighters as a college student.

Love.

2007-04-26T17:39:00.000-05:00

Daniel just found out he's graduating cum laude.

I am so incredibly proud of him.

Love.