The Life and Times of Rockstar Mom

Organic = Less Awesomeness

2009-10-07T14:25:00.000-07:00

So I bought organic oranges because they were on sale. And I figure they are going to be so magically delicious that I will want to give up normal, growth hormone added oranges.
But these things suck. From beginning to end. You can't peel these suckers, apparently they are missing the chemical that allows the peel and sections to part company. Next they are full of nasty old seeds. I like my oranges seed-free, thank you very much. And the orange flesh isn't even worth it! They aren't juicy and fresh tasting, they are kind like the pith taste has taken over the rest of the fruit.
I for one, will not feel bad at all when I dig into my chemical-laden oranges next time. Matter of fat, when I'm eating the organic ones, I'll be thinking of the chemicals.

Also, it's October, I have a costume in mind. I'm going to make it, with my own two hands. Or rather with the help of my mother-in-laws sowing machine and maybe one or two of her hands.

And if I seriously have to keeping going to classes for another 10 weeks I don't think I can be held responsible for my actions. Group projects are for suckers. Suckers taking these classes. Please give me back managerial accounting, I'll even take governmental accounting if it means I never have to talk to these people ever again! Ahem. I will continue to work diligently to get good grades.

Conquering the Mountain (Again!)

2009-09-24T14:47:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday marks the 3rd time I've ventured to the top of Mt Timpanogos. Once again, my dad, my great uncle and my brother Tee was in the mix. Absent and missed was my Eldest brother troy, and while it wasn’t a good idea for Caleb to come last year, I did end up missing his fun energy on the way up the mountain.
When we pulled into the trailhead parking lot at 0600 in the dark, it was to find the lot was already full. And it wasn’t like all the hikers were there at 5:45 either, they had been there, some overnight. Overnight? Seriously? The info at the little ranger booth said that the temperatures at the top were about 31 degrees at midnight. Isn’t that freezing? We started up the mountain with flashlights to guide us, but the dark made it treacherous. Later we found out a good portion of those hikers, were midnight hikers, so they could watch the sun rise from the top. Let me just tell you that the sunrise from the bottom of the trail, it was fantastic and not that cold!
The hike seem to go really fast, we made fun of the BYU co-eds hiking and waited while multiple groups passed us and we made jokes about how our group had never passed anyone and why should we start now?
It was really interesting to me to see that a lot of the trail was familiar this time, this is the 4th time I’ve gone on the hike, I just didn’t make it all the way the first time, but since then, I have, but even last year, while there were certain spots that were familiar, now a lot more was familiar.
Being a girl, going to the bathroom on the trail isn’t a happy experience, so at the point on the trail where they have a “toilet” I take advantage. But even with as terrible as this outdoor toilet seat above the ground has been, nothing prepared me. When I hike the extra few meters to get to the secluded spot, the “toilet” was full. To the top. It was just as bad as if there wasn’t one there. I had to use the ground. It was lame, but this is what I guess I have to put up with. This year. Next year I’m getting certain camping supplies that relate to allowing females to relieve themselves while standing. I could have used that. Or maybe I’ll wear a diaper. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
I was really worried about the cold wind on top and packed a lot of cold weather gear. When we find got to the point passed the saddle that becomes fully exposed to the elements and also gets really freaky of those of us afraid of heights, we found the wind, while chilly, was nowhere near as cold as it had been the year before. I actually took my gloves off at one point and was happy that my butt crack wasn’t in danger of being exposed this year. We made it up in just over 6 hours. We had a lovely lunch and I don’t think any of us were really ready for the down hill portion, so we stayed as long as we could at the top. My dear Uncle Roger was kind enough to help me down the steep and rocky portions. It actually not only helped me with my balance but I think it took some pressure off my knees, which didn’t start hurting until much later down the trail.
We made it to the car at about 5 pm. An eleven hour hike from start to finish. Even though it felt like we were making really good time, those last few miles really multiply on the way down. When it’s dark and your muscles are fresh it’s nothing, even though it’s uphill, but by the end those muscles are crying out to stop. And once you do stop, don’t try to start up again. Because it is not worth it.
I spent that evening hobbling around until my bedtime at 8:30 and while moderately sore, it was worth it. I got my rock from the top of mountain again. I hope that I continue to go often. My dad threatens every year is his last and Uncle Roger says 2 more years and then he can retire. Since he’ll be 76. I think 30 years of hiking the mountain will deserve that much needed rest.

36 months (3 years) of Remarkable

2009-09-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I took you to the park. There were a ton of kids on one of the playgrounds so I took you to the other one, since it seemed quieter. Here I am pushing my adult needs to be alone on you. You played and played and when some older kids (maybe 4 and 6) came and started to play a weird game or tag/keep away, you joined right in. I was so nervous. It was just a matter of time because they told you to leave them alone. They appeared a brother and sister duo and wouldn’t want to have their fun interrupted by a “baby” as they would, no doubt see you. But while I cringed inside, you confidently ran along with them, growled at the boy, hid with the girl and played whatever version of their game you wanted. They didn’t mind. Actually they started calling for you (“polar bear” because of the growling I guess) and including you in the process. I was fascinated by the wonders of youth. As an adult you sit in a seat where you don’t have to be too close to any other person, you want your space and don’t want to socialize. But you joined an existing group, and had no fear. No fear of rejection, no fear of anything. It made me immensely proud of you. I was prouder still when you accidentally bumped a toddler you said “sorry” right away and made sure he was okay. Then it hit me. You are the big kid. Granted there were kids much older on the playground, but you were one of them. You didn’t need me to run with you, or help you get down the slide. You were more than happy to find new friends and make up new games.
I miss the days where your world revolved around me, but now your world is huge. You have school twice a week and spend time with your grandparents and aunts. You are a child in a sea of adults. But you won’t be ignored either. You make your presence known and always want attention.
You have finally gotten the potty training thing pretty well down, which is nice, since you are now three. Now if I could just get you to wipe your own butt, we’ll be home free. But wiping is a good alternative to spraying out your underwear. I’m done with that professionally.
This year your birthday party is going to be a lot more laid back. I don’t have the cake all figured out, although you would think with my Wilson Decorating Class (level1) under my belt, I would have more passion for it, but I think that took all the desire to bake right out of me. We went to the Zoo! It’s nice to be able to take some time off work to be a mom, and since we didn’t make it to the zoo during the summer we should at least go on your birthday. Too bad Ellie got sick today. She was way more excited to go to the Zoo then you were. Also boy it’s hard on me trying to walk with you and make you go where you need to and to stop trying to climb into the gorilla exhibit.
You actually ate some lasagna last night, and that was shocking for me. You are still fairly picky, but at least you’re opening up a little here and there.
I have committed to you growing out your bangs. They are cute, but I think I am enjoying not having them. Your hair is just as much work anyway, why make it any harder?
This month we decide to get you out of your crib and into a “big girl” bed. Which is your crib minus one side. But it’s been a learning experience for us both, but at least you’ll go to the bathroom 6 times after we’ve put you to bed. Really, when I put you down, you know I mean business, but if your father puts you to sleep, you play for hours. I think the zoo would have been more fun for us both if you’d gone to bed before 11 pm, but I could only try to put you back to bed each time, I couldn’t force you to fall asleep. As much as I would like to.
Still, as much work as it’s been, there are the moments of pure joy when you throw your arms around my neck unexpectedly or start giggling at something silly. Here’s to years and year (except when you become a teenager. All bets are off then.)
Love ya kiddo,
Mama

This Is Cooling Faster Than I Can

2009-08-13T16:41:00.000-07:00

(Wow, I am a bad fan, this has been sitting in my drafts for 2 weeks!)

Tori Amos @ Abravenal Hall July 20th
Niki and I headed down town around noonish to check out the meet’n’greet. We’re veterans at this, so we were happy to try and see Tori again, but not freaked out. I didn’t even give much thought as to what I wanted to say and what I would have her sign. We finally figured out how to drive around downtown and saw that there were a handful of people waiting. We were hungry so what are two girls to do? We took off to paradise bakery and had a delicious and comfortable lunch and chatted for a while. We decided it was probably time to get back and rolled in around 2:30. We charmed our way to the front of the barricades by asking and promising not to cut in line. Some people had been there since the morning. Funny little EWFs. We watched some Flight of the Conchords on Niki’s iPod before we were told that the barricades were going to be changed (of course) and so our nice spot of front become a not so great spot in the back in the hot sun. Thanks July! Then more waiting, of course tori was performing at the radio station. I don’t know how it is that I miss those every time. That would be a fun performance, just about 30 of us in that little room. Oh well. She finally came out and this lovely little gay guy almost died, I thought he was going to pee his pants or cry or both. She looked lovely in a black dress and gold leggings. People asked her about her shoes which were tall, making her about my height. She is looking older, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re 45. Her security said as long as we were respectful everyone could meet her since there were only about 35 of us. She went down the line, meeting the people in front of us and moving on. I held onto hope but soon realized that the reason I was now at the front was because everyone else had been a bit smarter and moved to the other side of the barricade and was currently telling Mz Amos their whole freaking life story. She was very kind and didn’t yell at anybody! J Finally she started to work her way back, and of course people were jumping back in and she had written so many requests on her hand that she had run out of room. I had decided to tell her that “Maybe California” a song on her new album really meant a lot to me. I had lots of back story to that, but knew at this point, Niki and I were going to be the absolute last people to talk to her. She took my booklet to sign and asked me my name, and I told her about the song. It’s a song about a mother who is contemplating suicide and tori trying to talk her out of it. It’s quite haunting and beautiful and it’s been bringing tears to my eyes lately, and that’s saying a lot since mostly I’m dead inside. When I told her the song really touched me, she said ‘oh honey’ and reached out for a hug. I was ecstatic, I’m always hugging celebrities, but it’s usually me asking for a hug, so for her to initiate it was cool. She posed for a picture with Niki and I heard another girl ask for “Cooling”, unfortunately because she was now done with the heat and sun Niki didn’t get to talk to her and ask her for a very meaningful song. “Parasol” and that would have been so perfect too!
After that we left, slightly disappointed that we had only gotten the tail end of tori’s attention, but excited for the nights show. Leaving to get some grub and finding out our boys had already made dinner plans without us we picked up some take-out. I was lucky enough to post my pictures on facebook and we figured out how to get the extra pair of seats we had to Niki’s friends. We decided that since parking was going to be an issue we’d ride trax. On board we watched more Flight of the Conchords (I’m converted, really I am!) and realized that it was later than we’d thought. Neither of us cared about the opening band, but we needed to meet Niki’s friends and get them their tickets. Getting off trax right at the venue we walked in to find that the opener had just finished. It must have started right on time and been a fast set. We found our friend Dan and he said the opener had not impressed him too much, sounded like a folksy Genesis (I’m paraphrasing, but I know it was Peter Gabriel’s genesis. I think.) I was suppose to meet up with one of Erika’s friends who also loves tori, but then bell went and we were told we had 5 minutes. We went to our seats. Row 8. Freaking awesome! We’ve been closer, but these were center and not too far back. I was still able to see some drool. Tori come out to thunderous applause. I had tried not to look at too many set lists, I wanted things to be a surprise, but I knew that she would open with “Give” from the new album. It rocked really hard core. Next was the first of several jaw drops. “Body and Soul” my favorite from the last album started. Without a pause she began a version of “Wampum Prayer” that I wish I had recorded, it was different then the album version and the melody even differed. I keep hoping it shows up on YouTube, where were all the people with cameras? That went right into Cornflake Girl, which is a standard, but the crowd loves it and that makes it a lot of fun. Then “Icicle” with the band, another jaw dropper. Tori doesn’t play this song much and this is the first tour it’s ever been with the band. At this point I was started to see a bit of the religion theme come out. This is usually something tori connects with in Utah, but there were so many different songs then we usually see, it made it an interesting new perspective. “Starling” from the new album was okay. I’m not in love, the keyboard sound was cool and the lights were lovely, but, meh, I’m not into it. Next up “Marys of the Seas” I think this may be the first time it’s been with the band, let me check. Okay, 3rd time this tour, but before that it was last seen in 2005, when she was touring solo, it felt fresh and fun. It continued the rock. “Bells for Her” from under the Pink came next, I adore this song with the band and it didn’t disappoint. I would have been happy if the show ended right then, but I got even more! Someone at the meet’n’greet had requested “a sorta fairytale” and I was happy to see it. Even though Niki and I decided not to make a road trip for this tour, it made me think of all the tori road trips we’ve made. “Jamaica inn” rounded out the first part of the set. It was interesting to hear songs from the Beekeeper with the band.
Then the Lizard lounge. I have no idea why it’s being called that on this tour, but it’s the section that tori plays solo. “Cooling” started and I was so happy. I’ve seen it before at the 2003 show before Niki and I got to go back stage and I was able to talk to tori about it. The ‘brambles’ bridge was back! And she did a great mini improve at my favorite part. It goes like this “is your place in heaven/worth giving up these kisses/these kisses” but instead it went more like this “is your everything my love/for me/my love/ for me /you must miss to death these kisses” and it was insanely adorable. I was so happy with the song choice I was ready for a standard, like “Winter” or “Leather” but we got “Etienne” which she played in Salt lake in 2001, but you can NEVER hear this song enough. It so pretty, I swear I want to name my children after tori songs, and this is one of them. So maybe there’s going to be a little Etienne running around my house. Too bad I can’t have Tori sing the name every time we need to call her.
The band came back on and played the re-worked “China” which seems so much more brand spanking new with the drums and bass. Two songs from the new album that I love “Curtain Call” and “Fast Horse” then “Bliss” which was played at the last tori show I saw, but here I realized that this show was really rocking. Not just some times, but all the time. It really seemed to me that it was a more grown up Choirgirl tour. It was a full out rock show with a piano, so much different than the fray show I just saw even though they both focus on the same instrument.

We got to the encore and in contrast to most tori tours, they were not quiet, introspective things. We got "Police Me" and "Big Wheel" which are both very upbeat. So I didn't believe it when the show was over. It seemed really abrupt because there was no sad parting song.

It was over. Niki and I walked aside and took a few pictures with the fountains to prolong our leaving. It had been an amazing day and we'd seen an incredible show. Thanks Tori! See you next time!

How to Save My Life (Cable Car)

2009-07-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

The Fray July 18, 2009
USANA is a massive amphitheatre and as such has a large number of seats. I’ve noticed lately with many shows, they offer 2 for 1 tickets. When I got the notice that this would be the case for the Fray show, I asked my Komrade for most concerts, Erika, if she would like to go. She thought for a few days and we decided to get ourselves to the Fray show.
Now, I like the fray, every song on the radio, I’m fond of. I have the first album and after we bought seats to this show, I spent a little time with the new album online while I worked. It’s good.
After week of girls camp, I came home Friday and had homework to finish, and that took some time and then there were Saturday chores. And what I’m trying to say is that I almost forgot about this show on Saturday. Good thing Erika did not. We set out in the sweltering July heat and without being concerned about when the openers were starting we went to sit in the shade and gossip. After Erika was done telling me about her week and the opening band, meese was done playing, we decided to catch the rest of Jack’s Mannequin’s set. We spent a lot of time googling the band on Erika’s phone to figure out how cute the lead singer was. This is still unresolved. They are piano-drive rock, and we like that, so after the lead singer walked on the piano keys, not once, but at least twice, Erika decided that she would get their album. I couldn’t decide if I wanted a shirt or something, so I was empty handed but excited for the Fray. The stage set-up looked cool, but we were so far away it was hard to tell at this stage and we lamented that we wouldn’t be able to see anyone’s face as the band played. They have no jumbo-tron at USANA and this is grave oversight since most of the audience is like a mile away from the stage.
(As I write this, a Fray song starts on my player. It makes me smile.)
The fray started, all I could see of the leader singer was that he looked like an albino. Bald, pale head, white shirt, white suit coat. But it was his voice that impressed me right off. He has a lovely singing voice; they started with an acapella version of Home and I was hooked. And there were some screens! Four conjoined screens focused on the 4 band members. Erika and I started grooving with the rest of the audience to classics like How to Save a Life, Over My Head, and the new Never Say Never and You Found Me, where I introduced Erika to my version of the chorus, (Where was you?/Where was you?) which is very catchy and funny. We laughed about how we knew almost nothing about the band except they are from Colorado. After especially good moments we would say things like “You rock Mr. The Fray!” I liked calling him that, that little albino on stage. I got hooked on the song Little House (which took me days to figure which song it was even though I have it) and heard the Fray’s take on kanye west’s song Heartless. It was lovely, much better then Kanye’s version, I’m sure. There were LED lights on cltoh background that displayed images and white twinkle lights draped from the top of the stage, they made quite an impressive display and made the songs exciting. Erika remarked more than once that we should really read the lyrics for their songs, because they seemed so intense and beautiful, we should really know what he’s singing about.
After the show we were still on cloud nine. We decided to see if we could meet either jack’s mannequin or the fray, not expecting too much. The last time I was at this venue, I was there for Tori and was had to wait across the street from the backstage area and it was crappy and then we had to leave. I wasn’t expecting much more, but after finding a fan who was trying to meet the band with her 15 year old son, we decided to see where this went. I had a lesson in church the next day and I was still exhausted from camp and the day’s activities, but in the euphoria of the after-concert, I didn’t want to give up. After not a very long wait one member of the fray showed up at the gate, Dave. The awesome security guard let us back behind the gate with a promise not to make a run for it. It was oddly disconcerting to hear Dave’s American accent, since he looked so freaking Scottish to me. Erika was able to talk to him about Colorado and to find out another member of the band grew up a few blocks from her old house. After that we didn’t have much to say, but he was very polite. Then the other said member of the band, Ben, came out and signed our tickets and Erika told to him about Colorado and asked him about a local band from there, which sucks, thankfully he thinks they suck too. We discussed whether or not we were breaking erika’s fangirl rule for herself. Which is this: don’t be a lame fangirl for someone younger than yourself. Then Mr. the Fray came out. His name is Isaac, as we found out when we googled the band. We wanted to sound not like idiots. That’s important to us. Talked a bit about Colorado, of which I had nothing to add, of course. I asked for hug and he apologized for being kinda dazed as he had just had a massage (he had the bleary, I-just-had-a-massage face too) and then we took a picture with my phone. He was nice, not at rock star about anything, which is surprising because his band is really huge and he has every right to be a bit smug, but he was totally down to earth. In the picture he looks like he’s sneering, but he was quite pleasant. He didn’t look as much like an albino up close and even has a thin bit of hair, poor dear. Erika asked how old he was and he said 28, and I mentioned that meant she was not breaking her rule and Isaac (because we’re on first name basis) asked what that was all about, I told him and he seemed amused. We took our leave with our picture looking good to let the mom and her son have their moment. She obviously loves the Fray and saw them at a radio performance years ago before they were big. I can’t say anything bad about her, because in a few years, that’s freaking me. I’m going to be the mom dragging my child to the concert and riding the pit and being a cooler than all the other moms (I hope) so kudos to her for not being afraid of the preconceived notion of age and rocking out.
I thanked the security guard, because honestly, he didn’t lie to us, he didn’t try to make us leave and he didn’t make us feel like we were being lame or stupid while waiting to meet the band. I shook his hand and he really wanted us to try and see his metal band play at the “Dog Pound” in a few days. Sadly we didn’t make that show, I’m sure it was a riot.
We walked through the empty venue all giggly from the lack of sleep and excitement of meeting another rock star. I’ve been addicted to the new album online and I’m almost ready to buy it. I want it, but I’m so cheap, but I think I’m almost to the point where I need it and money is no object. It’s beautiful nd maybe even better than the first album.
All I have to say is, Isaac, keep the music coming.

Oh July

2009-07-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

It's July! And the weird weather that was so awesome to keep us cool (but sopping wet!) has turned into the summer we all know. The hot, sweltering heat one. Yeah that one. It hasn't been terrible, per se, but it's not the nice 70 degrees it was just a short time ago, with no break in the heat on the horizon. But that's okay. I love summer.

I miss being in school (not college, that's not real, they have classes over the summer!) and being able to loaf all day or when I was kid, the smell of fresh mown grass and heading to soccer practice. One of my more vivid childhood memories is just that. Playing in the backyard with my brothers after getting done with a soccer game, and waiting for the cherries to get ripe, and wishing my dad would wear a shirt to mow the lawn. And we wonder why people think he's a native american. Well, I don't my friends.

In an effort to create my own happy times as an adult, we bought a cherry tree. A baby one. Once we had it home from the nursery, everyone and their grandma told us that trying to grow cherries is best left to farmers with incredible insecticides or superman. There is no inbetween, and eventually we'll have to chop it down because the bugs, people, they will freak you out. I am not afraid. Our cherry tree will never bear fruit. At least, not if we don't ever plant the thing. It's been sitting in the backyard, for more then a month, in it's black pot, falling over in the slightest hint of a breeze. I don't think that being horizontal is good for trees. The only ones I've seen try it were all dead.

Cherry tree notwithstanding, we also have a tiny little raspberry twig. It's only one twig, but it's an investment in our future. At my parents house were had a whole corner of the yard dedicated to raspberries and the spiky bushes that grew them. Man, I love raspberries. I would pick a few raspberries, some cherries and some strawberries, squeeze out the juice into a cup, add water and then sugar. I was already practicing to make sugary, fruit-tasting juices. It was delicious. I put lots of sugar into it. And I wouldn't want my daughter to miss out on that kind of thing, and also they make raspberries without the thorns! So far the raspberry twig has produced a few tiny raspberries which I ate the millisecond they turned anything close to red. They were oh so sweet, but I think it will be a while until I can fill my palm, let alone a small bowl, where I can smash them, add water and sugar and make my own punch.

And did you know that raspberries has a P in it? You did? Oh, well aren't you smart.

33 Months and Counting

2009-06-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

It feels like I see less of you, even though I'm getting Friday's off with the later work schedule. We are so busy most weekends, it doesn't seem like that much of a break.

Just when I am ready to give up on trying to potty train you, you decide that the potty is for you. Mostly. This last week you've been able to wear underpants almost the whole day, there were a few accidents, but on the whole, this is progress. I had decided that you weren't ready and I was tired of trying to train you, since it felt like trying to keep a snow flake from melting in my hands. But look at you! You can do it! I think buying new stickers were very helpful. Although you aren't playing with them the way I thought you would. We used to put them on your hands or your shirt, but you LOVE to put them on others. Mostly you want to put your new sticker on daddy's tummy, but there is also something about putting them on a chart. You are so proud of your chart with all it's little pink stickers, and honestly, I am also ridiculously proud of that.

Going through my monthly newsletter, it's funny to see how proud I was of you when started talking, and now you are singing and talking all the time! You know the ABC song, but there are some interesting variations you've got there. J is absent, but K usually makes at least 2 if not 3 appearances. You're not going to be winning any competitions just yet, but I think it's the cutest thing. I would give you a prize.

I think everyone is displeased with the way you eat or rather, the way I feed you. Meaning, I don't get too fussed if you don't eat very much. Apparently I'm suppose to make you eat somehow. Well I do my best, but my best is usually trying to offer you food that you will eat, and hope that somehow you get some nutrients out of the air. I figure if you're hungry, you can eat. I usually only stop you from eating junk food. You can't eat chocolate goldfish forever, child. I'm hoping that with some of this maturing, you'll learn that not all food is disgusting and some of it, while some potatoes are not in fry form, they are still palatable. Okay #2 is still a problem so I may sprinkle Metamucil on your cereal. Sorry kid, but I'm just as tired of the tummy aches as you are and if you wont' eat vegetables, I should probably find some way to get you some fiber.

You're getting close to 3 and that's really freaking me out. I shouldn't be a 3 year olds mother. I'm not mature enough. I'm sure I'm still 21, so the math doesn't add up at all, either.

I love how much you love. It never ceases to put a smile on face to see you after a long day at work and you see me and exclaim and throw out your arms in the biggest, best hug. It makes me think you appreciate me, even when I'm not there. Heavens knows I miss you when I'm not there!

Kisses,

Mama

You Better Bring Your own Sun

2009-06-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

About a month ago Tori Amos came out with a new album. Abnormally Attracted to Sin. I was apprehensive, the reviews were mixed with good and bad spots but it sounded similar to the last album, American Doll Posse which took more than a while to grow on me. Matter of fact, it’s not a go to album, and neither is the album previous, the Beekeeper.
I decided to buy the album, which came in a deluxe version with a DVD of the visualettes for each song and a fold out poster of our girl, Tori. I listened to it online at work, but I was neutral. I neither liked, nor disliked it.
Went my shipment from Amazon finally got to me, I popped the DVD into TV and watched the visualettes until I got kicked off the TV by Husband. Since then the CD has been living in my car (with a brief respite to rip it at work) and I am LOVING it. It has some throw away tracks, but the ones I was expecting not to like, I really do.
"Give," which is reminiscent of To Venus opens with lots of synth. Tori has gone fairly electronic on this album and it is usually a good thing. I’m digging "Welcome to England" and everything up until "Not Dying Today," which it better with the visuals, but not enough to save it. The next 3 tracks get standing ovations from me, "Maybe California" and "Curtain Call" are both really raw and beautiful and "Fire to Your Plain", I might not know what it’s about but the chorus keeps me singing along. "Police Me" is another I would toss. Nothing special about it. "That Guy" seems very cabaret, musical to me, I’m sure Erika would disagree, but I think this one at least, is influenced by what she’s doing on the musical for the West End that she’s working on. After that the album gets a little muddled, the title track and "500 Miles" are fine, "Mary Jane" is one I don’t think I’ll ever like. It’s about pot, it doesn’t seem very clever to me and I’m bored, but others have said they just love it. I’m sure it will be funny live. "Starling" is okay but then we get to "Fast Horse," which I didn’t think I would like on first listen. She’s changing vowels and has some weird accent but after a few listens, I adore it! I also like the New York reference. It feels like it could slip onto Scarlet’s Walk and be right at home. It has that same feel, and of course that album is in my top 5 records. "Ophelia" is great, it starts off sounding a lot like "Gold Dust," which I don’t love, but then we get a thumping chorus and it bring the whole thing to awesome. The album finishes off with "Lady in Blue," which is fine. I swear she says “black” instead of “blue” but Tori hadn’t been taught her vowels very well. It show cases her piano playing well and at the end when it’s just the instruments it’s brilliant and makes me continue to start the CD over again and listen more.
Over all I give it a B+. I think that might be a little high because I was expecting to not like it and have to really try to get into it, so even though there are songs I don’t love, there are plenty of songs that I really can’t get enough of, and it’s been a while since I felt that way about a Tori song.
She’s coming to our little valley July 20th! I’ll be there.

It's a Cruel World, But I'm a Lucky Boy (Girl)

2009-06-08T14:59:00.000-07:00

I'm back from a 3 day weekend. This particular 3 day weekend saw me hitting the road for some Matt Nathanson so as to Rock. Erika and I left wicked early Friday morning and she drove all the way to her brother's home in Denver. The drive was pleasant and let me tell you, iPods with hundreds of random songs is the way to road trip. You never know what you're going to get, it's like a box of...well you know.

That evening brought us to Casa Bonita. For you Utah folk, it's the original version of the Mayan. The food is a little crappier but there's more entertainment and weirdness. Arcades and "scary" caves and a little ballroom/bar. We went with Erika's fam and her nieces loved it. We went through Black Bart's cave about 4 times before I bailed on that. They may have gone more. I kinda blocked that from my memory. The thing about Casa Bonita is that they give you endless sopapillas, which if you've ever had them, you know they are awesome. Fried dough with puffy hollow centers that you can drizzle with honey. Unless you are me, then while you are squeezing the honey, you will make the bottle top explode off and cover the table and everyone at it, in a sticky mess. Twice. Okay not everyone was covered in honey, just me. It was rather embarrassing especially the second time. I must have like He-Man grip or something, since even Erika's brother had no problem acquiring honey for his sopapillas. I think it's because I've been working out. I'm freakishly strong.

The food was sub-par, but the sopapillas were amazing (I had 7) and the cliff diving and general goofiness of the place were nice.

The next day we had some time to kill. We wouldn't leave for the festival type show until late afternoon, so Erika decided to go see a movie with her bro and I decided to go to the flea market with Shelley, Erika's sister-in-law and the nieces. It was sunny day, but windy but other than that, it was lovely. I'd never been to a flea market, so it was cool to see the stuff, although after a while a lot of the stuff looked really similar. I kind of wanted a old steamer trunk, but it was $200 and what would I do with an old steamer trunk?

After some lunch we prepared to go. We printed a google map and started the hour and half journey. Shelley had gotten herself a ticket and came with us, so she would finally understand why we have such unholy devotion to Matt. We had a lovely time on the way and made it to the exit in record time. We followed the directions on the map and ended up...nowhere. In the middle of a little city. Not at an outdoor amphitheatre. We pulled over and asked directions. Google maps had failed us again. We needed to hope back onto the freeway and then we'd be right there. We didn't know exactly where it was, but traffic was a nightmare, so we parked at a hotel and illegally crossed under the freeway trying to avoid getting squashed. We headed up a hill and we were there. Apparently the venue did sell out, but I was expecting something large like our outdoor amphitheatre here, which is huge. It wasn't tiny, but it definitely wasn't the size I was expecting, but this is Fort Collins and I guess there aren't as many people to accommodate here.

We missed the first act, which I think was a local Colorado guy named Josh Hodge. Next was Eric Hutchinson, and he was so fun, playing the piano and then his guitar, he was just as good as the songs on the radio suggest he is, and I like that his album is called "Sounds Like This" which I think is pretty clever. We snagged some spots way stage right but had an okay view of him. Most people were set up on the grass on blankets.

Next came out We the Kings. I was immediately struck by just how ugly the entire band was. The lead singer was a red-head with long hair and they all looked like they could just a good scrubbing. They seemed really full of themselves and they employed a great deal of feedback on all the songs. I spent most of the set looking like a smelled something bad and texting nasty things to Erika. Like: "They do realise they aren't Pearl Jam and this isn't 1994." Even the songs I liked from the radio were ruined in their presentation of them. They did play Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle" and I love to play that on rock band, so I forgave them and bopped along to that, but mostly it was awful. They should have just played the songs from the album over the PA, then I wouldn't have had to watch the singer take off his shirt and display his nasty tats. But during the set I saw Jon and Konrad on the side of the stage and waived to both of them. It was awesome.

Then it was time for Matt. We were able to move closer to the middle of the stage where I was behind an 8 year old girl. The median age of the crowd I would say was about 13 or 14. Mostly really young kids and some with parents and few older people. There were even some toddlers. It was beyond weird. Maybe because in Utah we have such large families were can't afford to go to concerts and my parents didn't know contemporary music at all, so my perspective is a bit different.

Matt was suppose to start at 8:00, but it was more like 8:20 when his set kicked off. Playing "To the Beat of Our Noisy Hearts" and then jumping into "Princess" with Jessie's Girl. I was glad that Shelley would at least know this song, she was rocking out. "Wedding Dress" was incredibly intense and there was a little banter between songs, but mostly things felt a little rushed. Despite this the band was tight. "Pretty the World" and "Still" and then coming out early was "Come on Get Higher" to which everyone sang along. It was impressive to see the crowd sing along to every word. He's definitely getting the attention he deserves.

He announced the last song of the his set. He wanted to play Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" which we had just watched the pilot for Glee with Erika's family the night before, so it was really fun to hear it and Shelley was excited to hear it. I was a bit disappointed with the length of the set, but now was our chance. The other bands had said they would be back by the merch booths to sign and meet people, so I figured Matt would do the same, but he didn't say that he would. That worried me. We jumped out of the crowd and headed to where the other artists were. The crowd was massive. We asked the merch girls at Matt's table what the 411 was, and they told everyone that Matt was sick and wouldn't be coming out, but since they hadn't been there until right before his set and they didn't have any shirts or CD for sell, I wondered if they knew that for certain. Shelley is kind of a punk, so while we were debating where to stand and what to do we walked passed a gap between the metal barricades and the orange netting to keep people out. I had glimpsed Aaron from another angle and Shelley told me to just to walk through and go talk to him. I only deliberated a moment and went for it. I walked in with purpose and while Aaron chatted with someone from the crew, I waited. I wanted to go back and get Erika, but security wasn't far and didn't want to get nabbed. When Aaron was done with his chat we said hello, I reintroduced myself and reminded him of our exploits on the headlining tour. He said he would remember my name next time and I told him not to worry about it. I asked him how long they had been home between shows. 2 days. They are freaking machines. We talked about if the set was short and he told me not that he realised, but they didn't go by the set list at all. They played what Matt was deciding on the spur of the moment. I asked if Matt was sick, and Aaron said he had been but just thought Matt was tired, but he was being the strong leader. We told him we thought the band had been in excellent form and he explained that since they hadn't played together in a few days, everything was fresh and exciting and reminded them how much they all liked playing together. I asked for a picture, we took one and he asked to look at it. He said he wasn't happy with it and we should take another. I told him he had to smile and he said he would try to look pleased. We got Erika a picture with him and he said he was going to go to the trailer. We stood awkwardly around. Konrad was just over the way, but between us was the security guard. He soon realised what we were up to and made us leave. I think he may have waited until Aaron left, but it could have just been that after that we just looked too conspicuous just standing around. We should have tried to walk around and look busy. I decided that next time, I'm getting a lanyard and just having colored paper in every shade so we can look more official.

We debated what we should do, since now the guard was actually guarding and keeping people out of the back. I saw Matt come out. He was talking with someone and we called for him and when he turned I waved. he waved back. and we waived back and forth for a bit. I think he was hesitating whether he should come over or not.

He came over and I asked him where his belt buckle was, I figured this was a good way to remind him who I was and see if he had an comment about it. Wrong question. He responded harshly that he just flew in and didn't have anything on him. He needed to get to bed since they were flying out to Canada soon. He also said that he felt like he hadn't been home in 2 years. Which really he's spend most of the last 12 months on the road and from now until October, he'll be out playing shows. I probably should have told him that my husband spent a year in Iraq and to suck it up rockstar, but he wasn't in a good mood. I had loved his blog about "finding" Depeche Mode and he was quick to say that he'd put up an addendum that he'd liked Depeche Mode since he was a kid but he had really found his love for them recently. I asked about Black Celebration since he said that the production didn't get "sexy" until Violator, and he said that Black Celebration was his favorite, which is mine as well. He was signing and taking pictures with others while we chatted. It wasn't a happy chatting, it was a bit tense, but I was unwilling to let bail out now. I had driven 8 hours to see him play for about 30 minutes, I wanted some kind of appreciation, I guess. He asked the name of the girl who handed up her shirt to be signed. Her name was Willow! This was the first time I'd met someone with my name! She was about 13, I told her it was my name too. Matt said that it was a cool name, she said thanks, and I said Thanks, and he leveled at me: "I know." Ouch! I had the booklet for his last CD in my hand. He asked if I wanted it signed. I said something to the effect of "that's okay" I told him looked really tired. I wanted to say how he should get some rest, I wanted to thank him for coming over at all. But the words wouldn't come and he was dealing with the crowd of tweenage girls that were collecting autographs on their t-shirts from all the bands. I felt like maybe he was just trying to gain some more fans out of people that may not have come to see him, since that's been his habit for the last 8 years, charming crowds as an opener and while he was not in the mood, he understood that was part of his shtick.

Erika said I had my pouty face on. I don't know where she was I was trying to concentrate on not interrupting Matt with other people, but I wanted my picture. That's what I live for. I love the autographs, but it's the pictures I treasure. He looked at me and rubbed my arm and asked if I was okay. I said I was and I departed. The crowd was seething, people had figured out that there was a rock star over here. I watch him talk to people and get photos, only smiling when he posed for a picture. The security guard had to get in front of him twice to help him get out. I thought it was sweet that even when he had that first opportunity to leave, he just went to people on the other side.

I tried to watch Plain White Ts, but I was distracted. The reason I had come was over. Matt had left. I didn't have a picture and I hadn't said anything that I had really wanted to. I was a bit disappointed. We drove home, it was late. I'm glad that we had the other activities with Erika's family, because if it had been a quick pop in and then out to the show and then leaving the next morning, I think I would have been really disappointed in the trip. As it was, I was disappointed in talking to Matt, but the show had been good. I had talked with Aaron after sneaking backstage and while most the of interaction with Matt had seemed forced, I appreciated that he had asked me how I was and I guess I'll have to take what I can get. He's a pretty big star now, I can't pretend that he needs me to help spread the Matt-love anymore, since he finally has radio on his side.

We spent breakfast with Erika's family and then headed out. I had the drive back and it was a pleasant drive. Even after 3 full days with Erika we weren't getting on each other's nerves ( I think) and I was glad that we'd come. The timing of the date of show was perfect and getting to know Erika's family and especially Shelley was really fun. It was nice little mini vacation. All in all, I'd do it again, just maybe not with such high expectations.

32 Months of Twinkle

2009-05-26T12:25:00.000-07:00

I realised after the last post, if I don't have pictures taken and ready to go up here that if I post, they will never be done, so yes I'm late, but pictures are better then no pictures.

I think it's a mark that you're getting older, that I have to make a point to take your picture at all. I used to follow you around with the camera waiting for something cute to happen. Or perhaps it's that I'm used to your cuteness, so I'm desensitised to it.

I realised yesterday that we're been trying to potty train you for longer then I realised. 9 months almost, and though some days are worse then others (see how I didn't say better?) and I'm feeling really defeated, as there has been little to no progress from where we were 3 months ago. And now just getting you to sit on the potty is a trial. I don't know what to do at this point, I'm kind of giving up, so if you're going to college in diapers, this is where that all started. Sorry about that, but it's your own fault.

The last few days you've gone from your miniature appetite to actually eating food. And you act like I'm starving you. Like I don't offer you food at all the proper intervals. You had your first picnic of the season yesterday and I think the clean air made you extra hungry since you finished your plate of food and kept going. Asking for more hot dogs, more yogurt and finishing what I gave you. I'm enjoying the hungry you, even if you are more demanding, but I'd rather you demand to eat rather then proclaim that dinner is for the weak. Then after your big lunch you ate a ton of food for dinner. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to feed you! Luckily there was plenty of food that day. It was a BBQ full of jello and veggies and ice cubes! You ate chips and carrots and even raw broccoli and cauliflower (double-dipped in the ranch dressing.)

You are loving the nice weather. You want to be outside constantly. Which is all well and good, since it helps me get the weeding done in the garden. Our backyard finally goes with the front yard (meaning there is grass and it's even green.) Last year the backyard was nothing but knee high weeds and dirt, but somehow it's turned into a lawn with a garden. Of course the trouble now is keeping you out of the garden. You steal our shovels and use them with abandon. I never know when you will strike at vegetables or weeds alike. I've tried to give you your own little patch of earth, but your not buying it which means there may be more broccoli with missing leaves in the future.

You're going through a weird phase were you don't want me to leave you. Not at school, not at nursery. You want to go, but you don't want me to leave you there. You actually cried today as I left you at school. You're being very clingy, but then if I was to come and get you, you would cry that you have to leave. Make up your mind little girl! Of course now, it's daddy's turn to pick you up so that I can work late, then we'll be able to have Fridays to ourselves. I'm excited that we'll be together another day. maybe we can get this potty thing worked out.

Kisses,

Mama

Somewhere Only We Know

2009-05-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

Exactly 4 years ago on May 12th, 2005, Keane played in Salt Lake for the first time. I was there with Niki and we had a blast. When I found out Keane was going to be back I knew we needed to be there. I forgot about it the day they went on sale, so it wasn't until they had been on sale for hours that I got us some tickets, they were decent and since the show was at Kingsbury, I figured there wasn't a bad seat in the house.

What a day. Picking Niki up and trying to get onto the freeway was crazy. Construction forced us into one lane, and when the person in front of us decided to turn left even though there was a "No Left Turn" and that also meant that no one behind them would get through the light, so I laid on my horn. Several times. The guy in car was obviously irritated and looked like he was going to get out of the car and "have words" with me, but didn't and they pulled forward just enough that I could get around them, but if I'd had a bigger vehicle I couldn't have. There are never cops when you need them.

We headed to dinner at Rumbi's downtown and the food was super yummy. I'm not going to find out how many calories were in that salad, I'm going to pretend that it was good for me because it had lettuce! After finishing we were excited to get going. Too excited apparently. I backed out of the parking space, looking over one shoulder to watch for oncoming parking lot traffic and heard the tell-tale crunch. Great, now I was going to have to pay for someone else's bumper. Again. Maybe this will teach me not to really look. I thought I had already learned that lesson. I got out of the car with insurance in hand and the guy driving the other car looked at his bumper, which was cracked and smudged with my paint and told me not to worry about it. The crack had already been there and he wasn't concerned about the cosmetic damage. My bumper is probably a little more dinged then it already was, but I could care less about a shiny car at this point. I thanked him and we took off, more carefully this time. Looking for parking for Kingsbury we found this parking lot that had a cop and sign that said "Kingsbury hall permits only" so I was going to ask said cop where I should park and he said just to pick an empty spot in the lot. Score! We waltzed into Kingsbury and they must have started promptly at 7:30 because at 7:35 when we got there, the opening act was already there. Helio Sequence, they were good. The drummer was completely nuts. Making crazy faces while playing the throwing his head around. I need to check out their myspace and see what they sound like un-live. They coming back to Salt Lake next month for a show at the urban lounge, so I should know if I want to go to that.

Next came on Mat Kearney, who I am fond of, and after a bit of research found out he has had 4 songs on Grey's Anatomy. That show is a career starter! He was good, he played some new stuff and I debate whether I should get a few more of his songs. He played "All I Need" which was amazing and beautiful, and always melts my black, little heart.

His voice was so crisp and clear and exactly as it is on the recordings. He oozed confidence and his voice soared. He also rocked a cool hat, so another plus for him.

Then it was Keane! The boys came out and played "The Lovers Are Losing" which is off the new album. The one I don't have. I've listened to it many times online over the past few days. I love some of the songs. the rest leave me a bit cold. I was hoping that seeing them live I would get more into them, but the first song was a keeper. And then I remembered why 4 years ago I decided that Keane was the best show I'd ever seen. The lead singer Tom, is a force of nature. He doesn't just sing the songs, he's a real performer. He engages the crowd and jumps around and emotes all the passion in the song. It also helps that his voice is like that of an angel. Then it was some songs from the debut album 'Hopes and Fears' which were a real crowd pleaser. Everyone knew all the words, and at this point I realised I couldn't see a single empty seat. Well, sort of. We were all on our feet, vacating our seats and rocking out. Tom even thanked us for leaving our seats and really getting into the show. I didn't know we even had this many Keane fans in the whole state.

When they started a song from the middle album, "A Bad Dream", I was pleased. I've had this one for years and felt I knew it well. Of course I usually listen to it at work, so I didn't know the words except the chorus, but it was still really good and also made me want to listen to this album more, since I should know it better than I do.

Tom was dancing and playing guitars, he had more guitar changes then Morrissey has shirt changes during a show. This was the first tour and album with guitars. Keane has always been a piano-based band, since Tim Roce-Oxley, the pianist, is really the creative force behind the band. That is what thrust them into the spotlight, being a band that didn't have a guitar. I liked the added element, but unfortunately for several songs, it also muddied the melodies and completely drowned out not only the piano, but also some of the vocals. It could have just been the mix last night, but it made me wish they wouldn't also have the guitar or bass in the background, these songs don't need it, they rock out hard enough without them.

And speaking of rocking, Tim was so intense. He really should have whiplash. He plays the piano with his whole body. That was one of the reasons I loved Break and Repair Method, Paul's piano playing, but Tim take it up to a whole different level. He's head banging his way through the songs and playing up the crowds. He was so fun to watch. Also fun to watch was the 60-something year old man in the crowd. He was tall, which is why I probably noticed him, but he was rocking the air-drums and dancing and singing along to it all. I hope when I'm that old, if my face hasn't caved in, that I can still rock with the kids and enjoy music that's played loudly at 11.

The band got to some more new songs, new songs that I didn't love or even like that well, and I was hopeful. But they didn't come through for me, they sounded a bit Keane-by-numbers for me, in that they sounded like other Keane songs, but without anything to really make them special. At this point I decided that I would download the songs I liked, and leave the ones I didn't. Bless this age of technology where you don't have to spend $15 on an album for 3 or 4 amazing songs.

They finished there set with "Somewhere Only We Know" and "Crystal Ball" and the crowd loved it. They left and people chanted "Keane Keane" and clapped and screamed. It was soooo loud! They came back on, clearly gratified with the crowds appreciation for the show. They played "Is it Any Wonder?" and got the energy going again. After that song I didn't know if they were going to leave or play us one more, but I crossed my fingers and then followed "Bedshaped" which they used to close there last show, and there's a reason. It's beautiful and intense. We walked out the door right by our seats and saw they had a little caution-line barricade in front of the buses, so Niki and I stopped to wait. Stalking rock stars is slow business.

Then we saw my friend from the Travis show, Robert. So we waited by him and his friend at the barricade. There were probably 30-40 people waiting and it was starting to get cold. We only had thin hoodies and the winds were gusty and chilly. Tom came out and I got him to sign my CD booklet and a picture with him. I asked him about whiplash and he said his neck does get soar and sometimes he also gets dizzy and then he just pulls back on the headbanging. He suffers so in the name of Rock. Then we waited. It seemed like they could only come out one at a time, and it was a long line for them to get through. But they were gracious and talked to everyone and took pictures when asked. Next the drummer Richard came out wearing a Utah t-shirt. He was really nice and I told him this show was better then the first one and then when he asked if I had been to the show 4 years ago everyone around me was all "I was there! Me!" but I guess people go nuts when rock stars are around.

Then the bassist/guitarist came out. I was going to have him sign my ticket, since I didn't really want him to sign and he might not have wanted to sign an album that he didn't play on. But he was nice and chatted for minute.

Then we waited more. It was late, after midnight, and I had 2 of 3 signatures on my CD case. I almost wanted to give up. I was shivering and feeling generally like I wanted to lie down, but we persisted. Then Tom finally came out. He said he would go down the line and sign things and THEN come back for photos. I didn't want to wait forever, so I got my CD signed, told him he was such a ball of charisma and we took off. Although I did have to stop and take a picture of his shoes, I didn't get a great look at them but they looked like winkle pickers, which was the rock star shoe of choice in the 60s and has a very pointy toe. The heater in the car worked surprisingly well and we got toasty soon. Very pleased with my most recent encounter with rock stars. I'll definitely see Keane again when they come, and I have already downloaded 4 songs from the new album. And you should too.

The fruits of my labor. The perfectly signed CD.

Smooth Like Dolphin

2009-05-12T15:13:00.001-07:00

Combobulations Elizagerth

That's right folks, I'm taking a cake decorating class. And I'll tell you something they don't tell you in the brochure, it's a costly endeavor. You think the class costs $25 which isn't bad. But come to find out, that pays for the person to tell you have to make icing. Not the actual icing. Or the cake. Or the stuff you use to put icing onto the cake. So I think I'm in for $100 right now. I needed a new cake pan. The teacher had a 3" pan and I totally wanted one! It's cute, so no worries and I tested it out for this weeks lesson. It worked like a dream. The cake almost popped itself out of that sucker it was so easy to remove! But then there was the frosting. Lucky for me I have a partner in my crime, the best ever Niki who helped me make enough icing to ice about 4 cakes in a myriad of pale colors that would help me make the best cake ever. And it was a good thing too, because making that much icing took about 3 hours that i wouldn't have had if I wasn't at someone else's house, spilling powdered sugar all over someone else's floor.

This was Stars week, as you might be able to tell from my cake. We also worked on the base of your Wilton™ rose that we will perfect by the end of class. It's suppose to look like a white Hershey's kiss. We did well. We are amazing. Then we worked on writing and lines and whatnot. Let's just say that Niki and I are the stars of that class. Really. Everyone wants to be us. And I can't blame them. I only ate small amounts of frosting and my mouth didn't even get stained blue! I'm excited to go back next week, and that's a good sign.

And then after my class I found out I'm a new auntie again! It was a sweet day.

Digging in the Dirt

2009-04-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last year we did a little garden. We got lots of cilantro (which I ruined by not cutting off the flowers apparently) and some really nasty lettuce (which was the "bitter" kind I guess) some green peppers, and some melons (of which, I am not a fan.) There was suppose to be corn, but apparently the sprinklers went out and we didn't notice for a while, so the corn died (RIP.)

But This Year(!) I know more! I want more herbs, and sweet lettuce and maybe a tomato plant (gasp!) and some onions. Basically I want to grow my own curry-making garden.

I have all this huge plans in my head, but Saturdays lately have been less then nice or filled with stuff. So the last few days, after work, I've been weeding. Which, if you were to talk to my mom, was my least favorite activity as a child/teenager. Weeding is the worst, but when it's my garden, I don't know, it's different. I feel all accomplished. I like to look at the bare patches and think "I made that!" and while there is (in theory) nothing growing in there that we want, it's easy to just pull and pull and move on. No question if things are weeds, of course they are! Nothing could survive our cold winter! But I'm finding little lettuce plants and cilantro. I haven't gotten to where the peppers were, but those have got to be gone, there from a tropical zone and this is a temperate zone. But it's great, I have little baby seedlings in my window and I have to think of new ways to keep the cats off the counter so they don't knock over the containers or eat all the leaves off the baby plants. I don't think seedling can live without leaves. Stoopid cats. But I really want to plant them, to save them from the cats and to get the garden going. I have such high aspirations, but this is the way I am. I want to jump in and get my hands dirty, but gardening isn't free (those lying liars said I would save so much on groceries!) and you know how I loathe to spend money. I see how the fruit trees would cost me a kidney and I think "maybe next year I won't need a kidney, we'll wait until then." But turns out I'm always fond of my internal organs.

Ideally I would like to plant containers in the front yard, but also have containers in the back. The porch is pretty ugly, I would like it to look less so. I also want lounge chairs, from which I can relax and watch my garden grow and my child run around and eat dirt. I also want to grow strawberries, and raspberries and mint! And rosemary (which I won't use, but it's nice to smell!) But I'm sure I'll only get 1/4th way towards my vision. But that's okay, because I have 27 more years of living in this house (or more if we refinance!) and when I'm 60 it'll probably be close to what I want.

31 Months of Coughing & Runny Noses

2009-04-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

This month has been tough for us what with being sick all the time, between the two of us. Seems that of course you get every disease at daycare and then you give it to me. That's so like you, always sharing!
Of course with your diseases, you've occasionally taken the very needed nap! It's been blissful again! I can read or watch TV while you pass out and struggle to breathe through your nose! Everbody's happy! Except that we're not. We're still dying too.
At first we thought it could just be that you're getting new teeth (more teeth for you to not brush!) But then the cough came and that theory went all to pieces.
It's hard to believe how big you've gotten, you're running around like a maniac and talking in sentences and soon you'll be driving and going to college. Although if you can't subsist on a diet of cereal and hot dogs, that might not be the way to go. Hopefully hot dogs are brain food, since I know your little body needs more nutrition then just to suck on a chicken nugget and announce your done. I think it's your father's fault. I'm not sure how, but it can't be my fault. You usually don't try new foods, but if you do, it usually touches your tongue and is then dropped unceremoniously from your mouth, usually onto the carpet. Thanks for that. Like the cat puke isn't enough to keep me busy.
You are getting more vocal about singing. We have a potty song and you can sing with me for several other songs. You love to sing and it's so fun to listen to you when you're suppose to be sleeping and we hear you talking and singing to yourself.
Potty training is very hit and miss. Some days for hours you are great! and then you just can't be bothered anymore and there are accidents all over the place. Also, you are not so great with the #2 potty option. That is probably where the potty training goes right out the window. And really it's not so much that I'm "training" as I am "threatening" and "cajoling" and so far you're only receptive when you want to be, which is very frustrating.
I had parent-teacher conference, sort of. They say you're doing really well and you know all the shapes and colors, and while you're not doing great on using the potty, you're average with the other kids. Of course I was hoping to hear that you're the genius in the class and are learning to read all by yourself, I didn't expect it! But I'm glad that you are average. Reading other mommy blogs I've been forced to wonder what we would do if you were developmentally behind. Lucky for us, we don't have to worry about that at this point. Of course I totally expect you to have ADHD later, since you did take a sip of my soy milk that one time.
I love all the smiles and seeing your imagination really start to take off. It's scary what a big girl you are already, but a good scary.

Love You,
Mama

The Band Who

2009-04-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

Last night something happened that I thought I would never get to see. Travis the band playing in Salt Lake. It's great because I've been a long time fan, since there The Man Who album came out in 2000, thanks to friends who knew that Brit pop is something I love.

They've never come to Utah in the whole of my fandom, so I figured it was just a matter of time before they followed my favorites, Gene, and broke up and never toured again.

When I found out they were coming I started listening to the new album online. It's good, a return to the energy of their first album but with more umph. I'm not sure how to put that into technical terms. But I didn't buy the album, by the time I got around to really listening, there were only a few days left before the show.

Erika and I were partners in crime and get there pretty early and ended up very close to the front. It was standing and so there was a lot of shifting as people pushed in and whatnot.

The opening band was Republic Tigers and they were great, it was hard to really hear them well, but they sounded very new wave but with some Killers mixed in and the guys voice oscillated between the deep of Peter Murphy to an amazing falsetto. He sang Blonde's "Heart of Glass" and he sounded like Debbie Harry, it was wild.

Then out came the fabulous Travis. I knew who the lead singer was, and I had looked up the names of the rest of the band, but the crowd obviously knew them all, which really helped me figure out who was who. The bassist, Dougie, came out in a long buttoned up peacoat and was basically a rock star the whole time. Fran was amazing, so full of energy. They rocked out! I was taken so by surprise. Most of their songs are pretty laid back, but none of them were at the show, they were all amped up to 11! The guitarist Andy was jamming on his guitar with his whole body and Fran got up on the bass drum and played his guitar several times. It was great. They played a lot of the new songs at first, which were familiar, and I was surprised at how clearly even up close I could make out all the words. They played almost every one of my favorites, "Writing to Reach You," "Turn," "Closer," "Humpty Dumpty Lovesong" and "All I Want to Do is Rock." During "Falling Down", Fran got off the stage and walked through the center of the crowd. We were too far on the side to be in on that, but he danced with some girl, shook hands, gave high fives, for almost the whole song! It was really cool. We were right in front of Dougie and let me tell you, this guy enjoys his bass playing. He smirked and rocked through the whole show, he was a treat to watch all by himself. It helped that he looked our way and smiled even wider. I like to think it's because I'm so freaking awesome.

It was also the night of the Britney Spears concert just yards away for our venue, so of course "One More Time" made an appearance, it was really fun.

The played "Slideshow" during the encore and on the album after that song is a "hidden track" after you listen to air for 5 minutes a song called "Flashing Blue Light" starts, and i thought "Wouldn't it be funny if they did that song right after?" and they did. To close the show they did "Flowers in the Window" acoustic and it was really lovely.

I bought a cool Travis shirt that I can wear and people will ask me who the heck this Travis guy is, but it's all good. It was great how chatty they were, mostly Fran talked, but Dougie also did a bit, and it was so great to hear their cute Scottish accents. Erika got me a copy of the drummer's setlist, for which I am very grateful, since I didn't know the names for all of the new songs, but now I have it forever!

We booked it to the side of the venue where the tour buses were. It was raining lightly and it was just us and some other guy there trying to meet the band. We walked around the loading area, but there was no sign of life, we even walked into the back of the venue and walked around but most the doors were locked. After a few minutes of serious discussion, we decided that this had to be the place they would come out. We were right, after a few minutes the crew appeared and straighted putting away the gear, including the huge gong used for one song. This went on for a while and it continued to rain and more people came until we were a little group. Finally the keyboardist came out and headed around us the tour bus. A few people talked to him, I decided to focus on official band members. I had brought my "Turn" single if there was a chance of getting something signed, that would be the coolest thing that I had. It also had the live cover of Britney's "One More Time" so it's a treasured possession and I'm really glad that I remembered that I had it that day.

Andy, the guitarist came out and posed for pics and signed stuff, he was cool. Turns out they are from Glasgow, so we could chat about that a little. The drummer Neil came out and he so reminded me of the Irish guy from Braveheart, very similar sense of humor and also the same dark, lanky hair. He was fun.

Dougie came out and was mobbed. Apparently he might as well be the band leader since he gets lots of attention. I can understand that, he's easily the most attractive band member, but mostly it was all boys that were calling out to him and shouting that they loved him. He's probably their man-crush. He was such a rock star on stage and very kind in person. He asked us our names as he signed our paraphernalia and was very gracious with all the people that wanted to get his picture.

After a few minutes Fran came out. The people were respectful, I'm not sure that giving them a CD of your band is the way to go, but I guess if the right person hears it and you don't suck, there's a chance. Still, I think it's dumb, but I'm not in a band. I should be, I decided that since I rock the house on Rockband drumming, I should be some one's drummer. Every band needs a drummer. But that's neither here nor there.

We waited patiently for Fran to work through the crowd. A nice guy named Robert was letting everyone borrow his sharpie to get things signed (what kind of groupie am I that i don't have a sharpie on me at all times?) and we told him we'd take his picture with Fran and e-mail it to him if he took ours. I took his picture and it looked good, then we tried to exchange the camera and it went crashing hard on the pavement. Even Fran said "that's not good." The view screen was all white. I wasn't thinking rationally or I would have tried to take out the battery and memory card, but we decided that it might still take pictures okay, so we took 2 sets of pics of me and Erika with Fran. One with Erika's cell phone and one with my damaged camera. Robert felt really bad, but it was an accident and I wanted a new camera anyway since it takes not so good shots at concerts. After Fran left for the tour bus, I took out the battery and put it back in and it turned on but said the battery was dead (which it was close before, so that could have been natural) but it wouldn't let me view the pictures, so I didn't know if our pictures with Fran had come out or not. Finally I got the screen to work, but it was upside down. Not the worst, but I was hoping for no real damage. We looked and saw that the pictures we took with Fran were there, but the one of Robert and Fran wasn't. I'm still not sure if it was erased or if it's somewhere on the camera. But look! Aren't we cute?

Of course we thought our adventure was now over and we headed to the trax station to get home. But Wait! Even though Erika had gotten the weekday schedule for Trax online that said the last train was at 1 am, the sign at the station said it really left around 11:30. And it was 12:05. Luckily Erika was able to call her friend and she headed right over to get us. Of course while we were waiting we thought some guy was going to kill us, but he just walked on by. Maybe he didn't know that trax was done running too.

So we got home very late and now I'm at work wishing that somehow I could sleep under my desk, but it was so worth it!

30 Months of Ups and Downs

2009-03-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

This month has been full of ups and downs. You love school still, but come to find out your hitting and while I've tried time-outs and reasoning and taking away privileges, and you are doing better at home and finally after a few weeks, you're doing better at school. But it was a tough time trying to find a way to get through to you. But I think you're doing better.

You are also doing better using the potty! Of course if you're watching a movie or playing you still don't realise that you have to stop and use the bathroom, but mostly of the day when we're at home, you're wearing training pants. Which you like to call your "ariels" since I bought you underwear with Ariel on them, so now everything is ariels.

The trip was your first ever experience with the ocean. It was great to see your reaction. You loved to run into the water and "touch your toes" I was worried that it would be too scary for you, what with all the crashing waves and the vast hugeness of it all, but I guess to a 2 and 1/2 year old, that doesn't matter. And now it's official, you are 2 and 1/2, I've been saying that for about a month now, since it's easier than saying 29 months.

Also, on our trip, you had your first experience on a "big girl" bed. The couch bed where you could get up whenever you felt like it, although I think that didn't really register for you, since you stayed put all night and when you couldn't sleep or when you woke up in the morning, you still fussed until I came to get you.

Naps were also completely given up on since I was obviously more likely to sleep then you were, and I'm very sad that this means I'll not have a few brief moments in the future to get anything done, but maybe with warmer months coming I can just send you outside for hours instead, I'm pretty sure that's what my mom did to us. I'm looking forward to gardening without worrying whether or not your were awake from your nap yet, of course I'll have to keep an eye on you, so there are still some pros and cons about that.
After a vacation where we could spend time out of doors without dying of exposure, has made me really excited for the coming months of summer where we'll be able to run and play at our hearts content (hint, I'll be content waaaay before you are) and all the good times we'll have.

I can't wait!

Mom

Let me Explain....No, let me sum up

2009-03-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

That's really how I feel. A week's worth of adventures and now I have to write about them with clarity in hindsight.
February was when I realized there would be no daycare for our daughter during Spring Break, and so with that in mind, I thought it would be a great time to take a break. Husband is going crazy with school and I'm going crazy being here, so it seemed like the prefect time to escape for a few days.
Looking at rental cottages in Monterey was super fun, initially it was to be a larger family affair, at least in my mind. My parents, siblings and possibly nieces and nephews. But I guess my family is feeling the crunch of poor economic times. That or they are lazy. And cheap. That's right, I said it, cheap. I really wanted to spend time in the same spot I spent many summer vacations, near the beach, watching MTV. Okay maybe minus the MTV part, since I have MTV at home, it longer holds the attraction, and they stopped showing music videos years ago, so it's rather pointless anyway.
Found a tiny little cottage that was a decent price and booked it. I didn't look forward to the all day drive, but it was either take extra days off work and stay somewhere is Nevada (the armpit of the West!) or just push through. I wanted to push. We had done it before and we could do it again.
At 5 am on Saturday we got up and packed the final items and were out of the driveway by 6 am. Opting to head over Donner's pass since the weather looked decent it was a long boring drive, our only little bit of excitement came as our check engine light came on, but it went off again after a while, so we pressed on. The miles seemed to multiply as we drove, the day dragged on longer and longer, but luckily our 2 and half year old held up remarkably well. This is what can happen if one has a strong imagination and a portable DVD player. Many movies were watched and thank goodness, a nap was taken, which is quite different the the rest of the days.
We got to Monterey late and missed some of the good scenery in the darkness.
The cottage was quite adequate. It wasn't anything amazing, but it had all the things we needed. a bed, a fridge and a couch bed. Thank goodness Hayley has no spine, because the pull-out bed was terrible, even to sit on. We slept and were ready to spend a lazy Sunday. Hayley and I awoke and she was restless, so I took her to the nearby park. It was just a short walk, even for her tiny legs and very nice, plenty of slides and things to climb. We came home and got ready for church, we elected to go to church someplace that didn't start until 1. It was our vacation and we'd celebrate however we wanted. After church we drove along the coast and stopped at another beach side park. Hayley got her first good look at the water, we walked on rocks and played on the huge trees and ran around the grass. It was nice to see that other places are already experiencing spring.
The next day it was off to the aquarium! The Monterey Bay Aquarium is world renown and is amazing. I've been there many, many times but they are always changing little things and obviously I don't retain all the sea life information you can pick up there. I had never realized how much stuff there was for kids. Hayley had a blast, there were slides and play areas and coloring areas and stamps, not to mention bright colors, pictures, buttons to push and levers to pull. She had so much fun pushing buttons and pulling levers we almost had to force her to look at the fish. She really loved a little child sized cave where they had a few bright exhibits including a clown fish and seahorses. She loved the seahorses, I watched as she pointed them out to other children and even parents who crawled through the tunnel, and was almost as fascinated by the other kids as she was the underwater creatures.
Still, being a toddler and dealing with a toddler are both difficult experiences, so we had to make a few trips to the aquarium to finish it all, but once I decided to let Hayley move at mostly her own pace, things were a lot less tense. Of course if I had let her, she would have stayed all day turning the wheel that made the wooden penguins bow and bark at each other.
We went to restaurants and had amazing world class food. Husband had a filet minion that he said melted in his mouth (it better have for $50) and we had fresh seafood that had probably been caught the day before.
We went to the Fisherman's Wharf, which is a collection of restaurants and shops, and we shopped and ate and walked and it was almost just like it was when I was little. Although there are more restaurants that hand out free samples of clam chowder, if they had done that, we all would have eaten a lunch of free samples as kids, I know my dad would have appreciated a free lunch for all us kids.
The next day we went on the 17-mile drive, which I had never driven along, just walked some of it It was very interesting to see all the different golf courses and the enormous homes. We even pretended to be house hunting and picked up flyers for homes asking 1.6 million. Although, if you have a spare 35 million, you can have a home on the 18th hole on Pebble Beach! I'm going to start saving my pennies!
After the few hours of driving, Hayley needed lunch, or at least chocolate milk, so we drove into Carmel to eat at Friar Tuck's, which was even smaller then I remembered. A handful of little tables and a counter to sit at. The owner knows my grandparents, but even without him knowing who we were, he treated us a guests and came and chatted with us, but mostly wanted to tease Hayley, she didn't know what to make of him but was happy as a clam to get her "chocolate" milk, apparently if she can't see that it's white, it tastes like chocolate milk. Bless all the ovlatine she drinks and think is chocolate milk. Of course this was the last straw in the whole buying-her-food-when-we-eat-out thing, we spend quite a bit on food she wouldn't touch, not just not finish, but absolutely refuse to eat. From spaghetti to chicken nuggets, I tried to eat what she didn't but with my own large portions, it was not fun for me. So instead we would feed her before we went out to eat, since she mostly just wanted chocolate milk anyway.
After food, we went to the beach in Carmel. Beaches to the rest of the world means fun and sun. This beach has sand and water, but it's also freezing, even in the summer, but seeing as how it is not summer, it was colder still. Windy and cold, but we were not there to swim, we were there to put our feet in the water. Hayley loved it regardless of the numbing effect. She danced and ran and giggled. She was tired when we left, but I gave up on naps after 2 days there.
We spent our nights inside watching TV, after it gets dark, it also gets cold, so we stayed cozy watching movies. I took Hayley to Dennis the Menace park and she had a great time exploring. It wasn't as big as I remembered and most of the dangerous playground equipment had been replaced with plastic sets. There used to be tall sliding polls and metal slides that would get hot, but looks like they are all being replaced. After 2 hours Hayley was even ready to go and didn't fight to stay, she was all funned out!

Over the next few days we finished up seeing the aquarium and shopping on the wharf and on cannery row. As the time grew to a close to being done, it seemed like it had flown by.

We packed up and headed to Clovis to visit my family. It was a pleasant drive inland and we ended up in real Spring. It was great to see my family again, we don't get to spend a lot of time together as we live in different states, but these are my favorite cousins, the ones I spent the a lot of time with growing up. It also helped that all the ages of my sibling matched up with the cousins, so we all had a built in friend.

We had a lovely time eating BBQ ribs and chicken and awesome salads, not to mention good California produce, grapes and strawberries. If only we could afford to live there!

After not enough sleep we woke up and made the 12 hour drive home. Husband had never been through Los Vegas, so that was interesting to him, but we mostly just kept moving and driving. We hit some winter storms coming home, but nothing that slowed us down too much and then we were home. It felt like we hadn't left at all. Next time I'm going to have to stay a whole month, then maybe it'll feel real after we get home and get back to work. But I have a hoody that says Monterey on it, and hopefully it will keep me warm until we get some Spring here!

Live and Let Rock

2009-03-02T15:11:00.000-08:00

This Valentine's Day was good to my family. We are now getting money for Husband's disability and I decided to splurge a bit and get us a Wii. My parents got one for Christmas and it's so fun, and I really wanted to get Rock Band and Wii Fit, so I figured we'd start there.
Well, Husband is too generous and sometimes ignores my pleadings to save money, so he got us Rock Band 2. I couldn't stay mad at him however, while I rocked it on the drums. I don't know that we'll ever play another game on our system. This game is so addictive! We've had friends over to play and everyone loves it. Some times it hard to coordinate after a while of playing it. The drums require you to be able to hit 1 or 2 different notes at the same time while using the kick petal and keep in time. I love the drums. Love them. I know I need to get better at guitar, but drums are so AWESOME!! I have also found love for the band Paramore, since the song list features their song "That's what you get" and it's my favorite to play.
Well, quite a few of the songs are metal or hard rock and that's just not me or Husband, so we've started to download songs! But unfortunately the majority of the downloadable songs aren't available on the Wii. Wh-what?? Apparently they are working on it, but not before I was all excited to down load Blur and Siouxsie and the Banshees, which aren't available. Poop. We still got some good songs, like Paramore's "Crushcrushcrush" which is a blast and Oasis "Wonderwall" and at $2 a pop for each song I'm thinking about just buying the first rock band game used, but then we get more metal and death rock songs, but we'll get the Killers too. Life is full of tough choices.
But I'm playing some of the super easy songs on Expert. I'm pretty awesome. I also love my little rock star that I made. She's so cool, long bright red dreads with green eyes and a rockin' outfit. I kind of wish I could be her, touring the world with my made up rock band, not a care in the world except hitting the right notes and staying on beat. Her name is Zena. I think I definitely have some of that in me.
So long story short, if you play rock band once, you want to play it forever and ever.

29 Months kicking and screaming

2009-02-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

(Picutres are forth coming but I didn't want to delay this another day because I forgot the camera)
Okay, maybe not all 29 months have been all kicking and screaming, but this month had a rough start which is starting to pick up.

This month you started "school" or day care twice a week at the only place that I would even consider having you. You are a few minutes walk from my office and I can visit you any time I want. Although picking you up afterwards was like trying to shave a cat. You ran away, you kicked, you hit, your scratched. You definitely didn't want to come home at the end of the day. Finally about a week ago I came to visit during lunch, you freaked out at first but when you saw that you got to stay things calmed down. I stayed for book time and had 2 little girls whom I had never seen before climb into my lap and ask for stories. You were also glad to have me there, but didn't mind giving up your lap space. That day, when I came to get you, you came willingly. I have since brought treats to entice you, but you haven't needed them. You are always starving at the end of the day since if you don't eat what they give you, there is no other options, and while you eat a bit of it, you're not downing the fish fillet or sloppy joes to make sure you're not hungry later. But you love it. Yesterday you asked to go to school and went I told you it would be a few days, you were pouty. Which makes me glad that this wasn't the mistake I thought it might have been at first, what with all the violence.

Potty training is starting to see a little bit of light. Yesterday also saw you using the potty twice, in one day! There are still a lot of accidents, but maybe it's connecting a little bit, maybe. I'm excited, but we'll see how things go from now on, it's difficult to only have you not in diapers in the evenings and on the weekends. I'm sure that's a big part of why this is taking so long. But I think it's coming, soon. I hope.

Food is getting better, you're more open to things, but it's still mostly you getting your own meal and us eating something else, but a few times a week, we're eating all together and that's nice, but whenever I ask what you want for dinner, it's either goldfish, or fruit snacks. Lucky for you I know that's not healthy food and feed you hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Still, you've learned how to open the fridge and occasionally I find that you've pilfered an apple and left the door wide open. Now if you could just be taught about shutting doors, but I have a feeling that will be a long process to learn, like until you're an adult.

You're looking like such a big kid these days. seeing you run around and really looking at you, you're so tall, hardly the baby you once were. You have so much hair and it's still curly! Even some new hairs are coming in curly. I'm glad to see you still have mostly grey eyes, so I hope you get to keep those, much better then boring brown, you can thank your father for that later.

I love cuddling with you, and while you resist a fair amount now, it's so great when you finally let your guard down and I get to kiss those little cheeks and give you big squeezes.

Keep those coming and things will only get easier.

Love you,

Mama

Cross posting, Free of Charge!

2009-02-03T12:02:00.001-08:00

Most of you prolly saw this on my facebook. Whatever. Here it is again:

I enjoy writing, but I never seem to find the time for it, so it must not be that important.
I’m annoyed by stupid busy work for classes and also loathe teachers who ask questions that are true/false and leave one word out of the text book explanation and then you have to decide if that word was crucial to the definition.
If I didn’t have a spell check, you would never have any idea what I was typing. And my typing seems to be getting worse rather then better.
I’m going to be 30 this year, but I don’t feel like a real adult.
I’m such a musical snob, but I really shouldn’t be since I only know the music that I already know, so I’m not really hip to the groove and I don’t know any indie or local stuff.
I’m incredibly tight with money and not ashamed of this. If I ever offer to buy your something, take me up on it, as it may be the last time.
I want to light people that make me mad on fire. I won’t. But I want to.
I fear that life is not what I expected it to be, and I’m trying to deal with that.
I like to quote movies with friends and family. And if one of us screws it up, the other has to say it correctly. We don’t talk in our own words, that would be strange.
I think birds are stupid for pets. They don’t love you! They just stare at you with their dead eyes and poop on stuff. I do like cats, but have enough of them.
I love Indian food so much I’m trying to cook new recipes once a week as I learn the way of the Curry.
I have a weird red vein on the side of one of my eyes. It freaks people out, so don’t look that close.
I’d rather be comfortable then fashionable. I see chicks in their skinny jeans and high heel boots and I think “seriously?” and want to laugh at them.
I just noticed that my own brother took me off his facebook. I guess he didn’t want me to see the “guy-liner” picture he has up.
I used to drink the watercolor water in preschool to impress boys. It’s only gotten worse from there.
I started writing many days ago and didn’t get very far.
I love broccoli. It’s the best veggie there is, since you’re suppose to eat those, I hear.
I adore dairy. Cream cheese and butter and cheese and sour cream and anything creamy!
I would rather work with numbers than lying liar people. People lie to me constantly an that takes me back to #7
I’ve met Matt Nathanson more times then I can count on 1 hand, I’ve also met Tori Amos a few times, and once she yelled at me. It was traumatic.
I think I have carpel tunnel, but apparently I don’t.
My Mom thinks I’m cool.
I have computer printed calendars on my desk that date back to December 2004. They document a month of my life I’ve given to this soulless institution.
Most of my music collection is Brits. They just make better music.
It’s taken a week to finish this. You had better appreciate it.

28 Months Of Monkeys on the Bed

2009-01-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

This has been a fun month, what with Christmas and getting to spend 2 week home with you. Christmas was a blast, you loved to help open every present and you showed appropriate level of enthusiasm for all your gifts. You even said "Oh cute!" when you opened clothes. You complete lost your mind when we got your Elmo Live! out of the box and the thing moved and talked all on it's own! You scored big time little girl. A little computer, talking toys, a dog that flips (Flipzy) and clothes that will make you even cuter.

I was just as sad as you were the day we finally had to put the decorations away, saying that we'll get them out next year must seem like a long way for someone who is only 2 years old.

New years I even let you stay up late! I think it was 10 pm when I finally had enough of your shenanigans to put you down. At night you like to sleep and go down without too much of a fuss, but nap times are hit and miss. Some days you're ready to go down at noon, but some days, even if I wait until later, you won't sleep no matter how much you need it, because trust me, I can tell the difference in the evening time when you've napped. Those are much happier days. Please sleep! for the love of all that is holy!

Church is also at the unreasonable hour of 9 am, but at least you're usually in a good mood in the morning. The same cannot be said of your father and I. We try, but good heavens, if you throw your goldfish crackers one more time you're never getting any ever again! Ahem. But this way church is over and we can pretend that you are napping afterwards. I think you're still too hyped up from nursery, but you will lay still some what quietly and I can listen to you hum or talk to yourself while I put together a puzzle. Even so, it would be nice if you actually got some rest, since you obviously need it not to be Miss Cranky Pants.

Potty training. This is difficult, as I only get you in the evening and on the weekends, so asking other people to let you pee on things probably isn't the polite thing to do. You're getting better at some of it, but mostly it's still accidents, but at least most of the time you realise your wet and I suppose that's a step in the right direction, even if it's a tiny step.

Making friends isn't your strong suit. There's another little girl at church who is roughly your age. She is your nemesis and also your best friend. You want to see her and play with her stuff, but you can't handle it if she wants to touch your things or play too close to you. You also love your baby cousin Macy, but don't know what to do with her. Push her? Hug her? Bring her toys? Take your toys away from her? So many possibilities, but you miss you when you don't see her. You've asked me many times in the past few days "Where Baby Macy?" like she should be at our house but you can't seem to find her. Hopefully you'll be good friends when your just a touch older.

It's fun much fun watching you interact with the world. With people and with things and see your understanding grow. I can't wait for you to grow more, but I'd also like to seal you in Tupperware so you never age again. But I think that's illegal, so I shall let you grow up.

You and Uncle Tee. He's a silly one, but I loved this picture.

Love You, Mama

Boring Boring Boring

2009-01-21T14:22:00.000-08:00

"Why is Willow so boring?" you might well ask yourself.
The answers are simple and also complex. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.
I don't touch the computer much when I'm home, and I'm lucky enough that my holiday break was spent at home. but the principle that follows being home, is that when you get back to work, you have to work twice a shard to make up for the time off. i am no exception. So work has been filled with actual work. Surprising I know.
I have started out 2009 without resolutions. Since my goals always turn to naught anyway. Perhaps I'm starting 2009 with ennui or that I just know better then to set the bar too high. I have the same goals I have always had, so I'll keep trucking with those and see what i can make happen.
Also, no rock stars. What's up with that? I guess I could try and meet some up at Sundance, but Park City is about 45 minutes away! And cold, colder then it is here and I'm already complaining, but mostly to Husband and Cats. They know the full extent of my cold feet. But I have an electric blanket for nights, but I can't take the sucker with me to work. I should get one of those Snuggies™ to wear my blanket around. But that's probably not professional. They don't have people at their desks in the advertisement, but they should. I need one at work. Also I need something to keep me from chasing people and kicking them, and those things keep your legs fully encased.
That's what's up with me, working, sleeping, taking care of snotty, poopy child (who I still love in spite of the bodily fluids I have to clean up) and cleaning up Christmas. I finally did it. The boxes are stowed safely for next year. I can't wait to see my new tree with it's added height and white lights. I am set for next year. If I could just figure what to do with this half of the year.

27 Months Of Sass

2008-12-22T12:15:00.000-08:00

You are such a sassy young thing. We are continuing your Christmas education. You're completely in love with Frosty the Snowman. You will watch those Frosty cartoons over and over and over. You're not quite as sold on the stop-motion things like Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Rudolph, but we're trying. If your father would make you watch those more instead of giving into your demands for more "snowman" then I wouldn't have to work so hard to get you to know the other stuff! You know that Santa will be bringing presents and you can recognise Santa and snowmen at will and you know what reindeer look like, but you still need to watch Rudolph again.

You're still throwing in nonsense words to your talking, but mostly when you talk to yourself, your pretty good about communicating with us. Your also singing more. Especially when your in the car. I've had to turn on the child window locks because you have figured out that you can step on the buttons in the jeep and buttons are fun!

You are still a pain to fix food for, but now eggs are on the approved foods list. You like scrambled eggs with ketchup, which is awesome. I love ketchup on my eggs. Your father is not so impressed.

I'm excited for the holidays to spend more time with you and hopefully get back to some potty training. We've kinda abandoned that after the first time and it was so frustrating, but it's been a month, I've calmed down and so have you ( I hope.)

You're starting to really get some separation anxiety. I almost didn't get to perform with the ward choir yesterday since you wouldn't let me go without crying and even taking you to Poppi's house you want to stay with me (until about 30 seconds after I've gone and you remember that Poppi spoils the daylights out of you.) It makes me feel bad, so thanks there, but it's also a little nice that you love me best, more than poppi or grandma. I want you to like me, even if I Put you in time out.

You have to sit in time out quite a lot. Throwing things is a bad habit of yours and it seems that even though you get put in time out for throwing food and crayons off your tray, you persist.

You're really into stacking. You take the candy tins and stack them over and over and now you're really playing with the wooden staking blocks that I got you for your birthday, your not just having fun pushing things down, you build! It's fun to watch your little mind work out which blocks will go on top.

I suppose we won't trade you in for a newer model yet.

Heart You!
Mama

It's A Christmas Miracle!

2008-12-22T10:03:00.000-08:00

Friday, December 19th is a day that will live in awesomeness for all time.

First it was the annual Christmas party at my work. Erika and I had spent many hours with our gay boys in the department getting all ready for our lip sync. This is the 4th year we've done this and it's stressful but a lot of fun. This year we picked Christina Aguilera's "Candyman" which uses the music from Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, so it's all forty's sounding and familiar, but it's a little dirty, which is what we aim for. Our crew got to work at 7 am to practice on the stage before our 8 am party. The party got started and there were eggs, bacon, sausage and pancakes! Forget budget cuts people! It was lovely, but Erika and I were starting to get nervous. This year they made the entertainment not just lip syncs, but also talent. Which is stupid, because if it's going to be talents, we can't do a silly lip sync next year. They also brought out judges! Supposedly American idol style. Someone was suppose to be Paula and Simon and Randy, but I don't' think any of those people have every watched American Idol before. Finally it was our turn. We rocked! Erika and I were the USO girls and our boys were sailors, complete with real and fake tattoos. There were only a few tiny little mistakes that I'm sure no one but us noticed. And we looked awesome. I have a new hair style I guess, when I can be bothered to curl it. Everyone clapped and laughed and loved it. The judges were nice and they said we were all winners. I guess they didn't want the other people to feel bad that we were really the best.

After the party it was hard to work, so when Husband was downstairs at his office's Christmas party I joined them for lunch. The the snow came, and came and came! At 2 pm our whole company shut down all offices and sent us home. It was brilliant. i would have left at 2 anyway so that I could get ready for the real treat of the day.

Thank goodness for 4-wheel drive, I was fine on the drive home even with all the snow. Now I had to get ready of the Matt Nathanson concert!!!! I re-curled my hair and decided to wear a scarf over my head to keep the snow off. Then it was off to the trax station so that we wouldn't have to drive down town in the weather and the venue was literally just steps away from the trax station. Keeping in constant contact with Erika, we found out our trax train was about 20 minutes late, but I had my ipod, so I was good! In my purse I had my item for Matt to sign, the pen he needed to sign my item and his present. After the last concert in Boulder, when he put us on the guest list, I wanted to thank him properly and so when I found out about this show I went online to look up the union jack Def Leppard belt buckle that he worn on that first Boulder concert that was so awesome, but had since broken. I paid expedited shipping since I had to have it for the concert. And I told no one, except Magen when she told me that she wouldn't be able to come to the show. I suppose I was a little worried that my friends might think I was a freak that I'm getting Matt a present, because, let's be honest, it's a little bit over the top.

The trax train came and luck would have it that I was standing right in front of the car that Erika and Dawn (from England!) were in so I got a seat and to have great conversations with them as I was getting more and more excited. I showed them the buckle and they both seemed delighted and not at all freaked out that I would do something like that. I also showed them my item to be signed. It was a picture of the first time I met Matt 3 years ago in Boulder, when he had been wearing said belt buckle, but you can't see it in out picture. I looked great since that was when Husband was in Iraq and I spent my free time working out.

The venue is Keys on Main where they have dueling pianos most nights, tonight's "event" was to be a wine tasting supposedly hosted by Matt, so I wanted to get there right away just in case he really was wandering around talking to people. We got in and got our commemorative wine glasses (mine I misplaced) and took a seat at a table, there were seats set up in front of the stage, but there wasn't anyone sitting there yet so I refrained from jumping into the front and center seat. Since it was a wine tasting there was food. Thank goodness! I ate cheese and carrots and olives and crackers and chocolate, oh my! It was great to sit and get to talk to Dawn. We're both great friends of Erika's, so we know all about each other, but since she lives in England, we don't see each other much. I loved that she and I both felt like we were too young to be there at a fancy wine tasting, even though we're both married with kids, it seemed like we were far too youthful. I also got to tell her about how I feel in love with Matt. It's a long story, but I love to tell it and Dawn was a great listener. I love to share Matt with people, he deserves to be well known and I feel like I'm really helping the cause, and really, everyone should love Matt, what's not to love?

With Trish and Nicole we save our six seats, right up front, in the first 2 rows. I of course got to sit on the first row, since I'm the biggest fan (ever). He came out briefly to do a sound check, when people started to clap he put his hands to his lips and motioned that he wasn't really there. Apparently his flight had been delayed. Here's what that looked like and how close I was.

Then he left and we got to wait for the concert to really begin. The show was suppose to start to 7, but sound check was at 6:30, o that didn't happen of course, but it was only about 20 minutes late, which was lucky for Trish's friend, since she got there at about 7.

The radio station announced him and out he came. he started with Car Crash, the newer acoustic version which I love. Trish has a little bit of video of it, but he sings it slightly different from the album and band version and I adore it, but I wasn't smart enough to start recording. He was wearing the scarf he had worn when we met him after the Denver show. Dawn was swooning! I know he's adorable, but it's nice to have confirmation. Someone in the audience asked him for his scarf and other people were yelling that they loved him. He calmed the drunk people by telling them that he wanted them to love him quietly and only love him loudly when that was called for. he said he needed the talking stick. Next he started Gone, and during the opening chords he looked up and saw me and did the eyebrow raise/half smile thing you do when you recognise people but can't say hi. I turned to Trish and Erika and was freaking out. I was trying to squeal but I was really just making some weird "fff" noise and accidentally spitting on those around me. Eventually I was able to get out "He saw me!" a few times I kept turning around so that he couldn't see me look like a freak of nature. he took off his jacket and told us he was dressed like an Eskimo and he would be removing his clothing in layers. He told a story about the having to do #2 at the airport. You really thought the story was going one way, but leave it to Matt to take it in a totally different direction. he was really chatty and people were really drunk so there were lots of fun conversations. he played To the Beat of Our Noisy Hearts, which is one of my favorites off the new album, and I finally remembered that I should be taking some freaking videos. Nicole was taking pictures and they were turning out really well and my pictures, well they are not so awesome. My camera is getting old and can't keep up with the new fancy cameras of today, so I figured I should take videos and let others take the good pictures. he played Still and that song is growing on me, but I think I enjoy it better live where you can see his facial expressions. He played Lost Myself in Search of You and told us that we would probably feel the funk in our nether regions. That song is funky! Erika called out for Amazing Again, but he needed to play his new songs for the new fans of course. After that he was going to play Starfish, but the crowd didn't seem like they were into that, so we did a sing along of Journey's Don't Stop Believing instead. It's standard. He said he would play 1 or 2 more songs and it was confirmed to me that this was a radio promo show and not a real show, which means that he wouldn't play as long, I figured this, but now it was confirmed. He of course played Come on Get Higher, the crowd seemed very into it. Before it he told a story about how this song was about ice cream. And something you're really enjoying the ice cream and you get to the bottom and you just want more and you want to spank the ice cream and pull it hair. Then he did he fake "We're done! Thanks" thing and headed off while the radio guys had us clapping and cheering. he came back out ans said he would play a new song and an old one. I was excited. he played Falling Apart, which I do love, but it makes me want to hear Fall To Pieces, which is my new goal to hear live. He doesn't play it very much, so that might take some doing.

Then he started playing Bon Jovi's Livin On a Prayer which was incredibly fun, but I do want to hear Matt songs when I see Matt play, but I'm a greedy fan.

He said he'd stay and sign stuff for people so we jumped in line and found out that the venue people weren't allowing pictures since they needed to get ready for the dueling pianos thing.

Don't you think that could have waited? I mean, come on, freaking Matt Nathanson people! The line was really long and Erika had to jump out and fight over the last Some Mad Hope CD at the merchandise booth so that Dawn could have him sign it and become an uberfan like me! I pulled out my picture to have him sign and the silver pen so it would show up and the buckle. Erika and Dawn went first and Dawn played the "but I'm all the way from England" card and he told them to wait and he would get a picture with them. I was so nervous that I was shaking of course and I had far too many things to say, to give him and whatnot. I got up to him and said "You remembered me!" Meaning from the stage and he said that of course he remembered me and gave me a hug. Trish said that I had a 3 year anniversary gift for him and I told him that I really wanted to thank him for getting me into the Boulder show and that I had tracked down something I thought he would like. I gave him the box and he opened it. It was his turn to be amazed. He started to tell me that he had one of those and Erika jumped in and said "Yeah, that's why she got it for you." he hugged me and it wasn't just a regular Matt hug (which is nice, btw) he put one hand on the back of my head and really hugged me. I wish that I could have appreciated that gesture at the time, I was still a bit too keyed up though, but I really do now. He said that when pewter breaks, it really breaks and obviously really like it. He handed it to his manager who looked at it appraisingly. He hugged me again with his hand on my head. I recall that his shirt was a bit moist with sweat, but he smelled fantastic. I showed him the picture and he said "look how young I look!" and I wanted to say the he looked the same but more awesome with his longer hair, but I instead said, "Yeah, look how hot I used to be!" He took my silver pen and held the picture on his thigh to sign it. We finished off with another hug and if there was anything else said, I can't recall. So I waited with Erika and Dawn to the side where they had told us to wait until everyone was done. But of course afterwards the lead Matt into the back, I of course followed. Matt said Dawn could get a picture, the VIP room was tiny and in the back, but they had it well guarded. This Venue doesn't mess around and boy do they have some thugs at their service. We asked politely about the picture and were told "no" in very certain terms. So we decided to risk it.

We got our hands stamped and headed for the back alley behind the venue. There was a van and someone from the radio station putting gear into it. A bouncer came out back and asked us what we were waiting for. I told him "Christmas" and Erika I believe told him a "Christmas miracle" he of course told us that "the artist has already left" which is of course, what they always say. I think they teach them that in bouncer school. But a few snowy minutes later out comes Matt, we tried to be polite and we reminded him that he said he would take a picture with our girl all the way from England. and he said "Of course I'll take a picture with Dawn!" She swooned more that he remembered her name from all the people inside. They posed and Dawn pulled me into the picture, which at first I felt like she should get her own since she was from freaking England! But I really appreciate the gesture, she knew how much I love Matt and wanted me to get a picture. next Erika and Dawn took a photo with him and the swirling snow made it so pretty! Then I got a bit greedy (of course!) and said that since I paid expedited shipping I deserved my own photo. He hopped into the van while Erika called out "Merry Christmas" and I remembered to say "Happy Hanukkah" and we walked back out the alley. The van started to drive out, as Matt had to get back to the airport and I moved to the side of the alley and stopped to wait for it to pass, Dawn and I waved and we could see clearly from the front seat, Matt Nathanson waving back at us. Dawn turned to me and said, "He waved at us!" and said that was the reason right there that I loved that man so much, he's so gracious to his fans. He really does care.

We walked back to the venue, and said our goodbyes to Trish, since she needed to drive home on the slippery roads. We were still high on the Matt love and agreed to go and look at the lights on temple square. We skipped and sang and had strangers take pictures of us. We saw some nasty Santas with naughty elves and some drunk/homeless person being picked up by an ambulance. Ah, downtown! We walked through Temple Square and enjoyed the beauty of the lights and the temple in the fresh and still falling snow. After that we were trying to decide where to get a cuppa chocolate. It was earlier then it felt, only about 10 pm. Then we spotted the horse drawn carriages. Neither Dawn nor I had had ridden one and so we asked how much. $50 for a 30 minute ride. Ouch! Well that's what I thought anyway, but Dawn and Erika were both on board. We got a nice young woman driver and we piled the blankets on us. We drove around singing Christmas songs, some more then once and having Dawn call out "God bless us, everyone!" to strangers. It was fun, but after the half hour I was ready to get warm again. We walked to the nearby JBs and got seated. Our server took our picture when he saw we had them out. And we all ordered hot chocolates. I think he was disappointed that we weren't getting real food, since he never talked to us again.

After some warming up we decided it was time to hop on the trax and head home. Unfortunately that was also when the Neil Diamond concert had let out, so the train was super crowded. Dawn had to get a bit fresh with a poll and it was packed and very cozy indeed. I headed home and reflected on the events of the evening. It got tons of Matt love and hugs. I had given him a gift that he loved. It made me so happy to give him something that he can take with him and I'll know that it was me that gave him that buckle, and hopefully I'll see him wearing it and that will make me the happiest. But really, I wanted to thank him for being so incredibly gracious and warm with his fans. He really does apprecaite all the "little" people that are spreading the word about him and sharing his music. He has shown me and any one else meeting him nothing but kindness. It's really his personality that wins over people. His music sin't really want I would consider my type of music, but knowing him him as briefly as I do, it makes his music that much more exciting and interesting to me. Thanks Matt! I hope you continue in your rise to the top!

See? Matt thinks I'm hot!

The Cookie Monster

2008-12-02T14:31:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I have discovered cupcake cake bites. This is unfortunate for a number of reasons. Mostly being that I don't have them. And secondly, i don't even have the ingredients to make them. And thirdly, even if I DID have said ingredients, I wouldn't want to make them, seeing as how I would eat them and ruin my whole "I'm eating healthily so that clothes still fit after the holidays" and it's killing me.

I've been reading bakerella.blogspot.com so many times in the past 2 days that I'm starting to see these little suckers in my sleep. I think about which cake mix I would use (red velvet or white? chocolate or yellow? Moist or bargain brand?) and how I should decorate them (snowmen! snowflakes! Christmas trees? stars?) So while I was at groups last night with husband, while the menfolk talked about their "feelings" I was envisioning where I should purchase the melting chocolate and whether I could use my skewering sticks or if I needed to buy lollipop sticks. You can't see it in this picture (but it's so cute anyway) but you can put them on a stick! Food is always so much better on a stick! Imagine corn dogs with no stick and you see what I'm talking about.

I'm also trying to pretend that I'm not Christmas shopping. All day long. But chances are, if you're getting a gift from me, it's already in my shopping basket. Metaphorically. I just hope you like it! And that's why it's still in my basket instead of on my charge card. What if you don't like it? I'm such a bad friend getting you something so obvious, this is why we're going to have that falling out soon. I don't blame you. I will try and move on to people who don't expect too much from me. Or you'll love it! I'm a good friend and we'll be besties forevs and evs because I got you just what you wanted. I shall bask in your praise at my ninja-like shopping skills.

With this is mind, I have not thought of one solid thing to get for my 2 year old. She of the movie watching variety. We have so many stuffed animals, but wouldn't she just love a care bear? We also have so many Disney movies that she hasn't even watched them all, but we don't have Sleeping Beauty, she would love that! And she's got clothes! A lovely mother is our neighborhood whose daughter is about a year older than Hayley gave us all her hand me downs. She has clothes coming out the wazoo. I only have her wash her clothes about every 2 weeks and that's barely re-wearing the perfectly good jeans from the day before. And I fret. She's tall in her torso, she can wear 3t in most shirts now, so I don't want to buy her 2t stuff just because that's the size she should be in, but sometimes the 2t are still big. So I don't want to buy her clothes, but she has a multitude of toys she neglects to watch more Nemo (again), so I don't want to buy her toys. But I'm afraid her mind and muscles will wither while she watches TV, so I don't want to get her DVDs! Argh! Christmas! Why can't you be more about the baby Jesus then what is in those packages? I'm just as guilty. I finally took pity on my husband and made him a wish list, and also one for my brother who has me in the family gift exchange. I have two separate wish lists! I haven't had a wish list since I was 14 and asked my parents for a Pearl Jam CD (yeah, Pearl Jam, remember when they were cool?)

Where was I? Oh yes, this post is about cake balls. So please, come over to my house with a box of cake mix, some melting chocolate and some sticks, you might just leave with all the ones I couldn't fit into my mouth while you weren't looking! It's a Christmas miracle!