theshortestblogintheworld

I like going to Boloco because when you finish your drink you can eat your cup.

2009-07-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

Of course, then you're thirsty again.

Everytime you use two exclamation points an angel loses its wings.

2009-07-08T08:35:00.001-07:00

Totally kidding!!

Today would have been my grandmother's 100th birthday.

2009-07-04T20:38:00.001-07:00

She was an amazing woman. Her patience lasted through many games of Crazy 8's with a singing 8 year old. Her arthritic hands never tired of scratching little backs. And her hair was the color of an Entenmann's crumb cake. You would have liked her.

Is there such a thing as passive assertive?

2009-07-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

My physical therapist taped my knee caps in place and today I am pain free for the first time in 20 years!

2009-07-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

Good news: I am pain free.
Bad news: I am being held together by tape.

How can I have lived on this Earth for 42 years and still not be sure if I'm supposed to tip on a take out order?

2009-06-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking if they just got in the same bathtub they might not need the Cialis.

2009-06-26T07:53:00.001-07:00

You could sell wine for $79 a glass in an MRI waiting room.

2009-06-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

Maybe we needed this recession. I mean, when a society starts drinking soup right out of the can you know it's time to slow things down a bit.

2009-06-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

I love when the library has "Forgiveness Day". You get to turn in books you forgot to return years ago and they waive the fines.

2009-06-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

I wish rental car companies had that.

Why am I saving this receipt that says my mammogram showed no abnormalities?

2009-06-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

Do I think I can turn it in for proof if I ever get diagnosed with breast cancer?

Note added later: I know some people think some of my posts are funny. Sometimes they're just my thoughts. This post was not meant to be funny. I thought it was important for you to know that. Thanks for reading.

My 9yo is practicing his oral report in front of the family. I tell him that imagining the audience in their underwear can make you less nervous.

2009-06-09T18:10:00.001-07:00

His brother immediately strips down to his underwear. What a thoughtful audience.

Why do I feel guilty when I go to a garage sale and leave without buying anything?

2009-06-07T16:53:00.000-07:00

I mean, they didn't want that crap either.

My husband and I were just debating who we'd rather have dinner with: Ben Franklin or John Adams?

2009-06-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

Marriage is so hot.

"Does anyone need a map in another language?" she asked in English.

2009-06-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

GODBLEH!

2009-05-26T18:08:00.000-07:00

Whenever I hear one of those half sneezes, my mind always thinks a half blessing.

I think you should get to re-register for stuff after you've been married twelve years.

2009-05-21T06:03:00.000-07:00

My salad spinner is trashed.

I like seeing those joggers who look like they're being chased.

2009-05-19T05:16:00.000-07:00

I always wonder if they live their whole life that way.

My 7 year old cries for 20 heartbreaking minutes every time he loses a baby tooth.

2009-05-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

I think he understands.

I remembered that I left my husband's sunroof open halfway through the storm.

2009-05-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

So is the car half empty or half full?

Note: My husband ran out in the rain in his socks, dried out his car and was very nice about it. So I guess it's half full.

Me (to my 9yo): Life is good, isn't it?

2009-05-08T05:33:00.000-07:00

My 9yo: I'm not sure so I just trust the t-shirts.
.

Sometimes I like when I'm out and about without my kids. I get to push all the buttons.

2009-05-05T06:43:00.001-07:00

What if we found out that "Eve" was actually the Hebrew word for "Steve"?

2009-04-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

Just saw a preview for the new movie, "Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs."

2009-04-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

Where the Wild Things Are
Harry Potter
Charlotte's Web
Curious George
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Tale of Despereaux
Twilight
Bridge to Terabithia

I feel so relieved that children will never be burdened by having to read again.

The name tag of the 21st Century.

2009-04-24T11:20:00.001-07:00