Talien's Tower

No Pain, No Gain: Part 1 – The Ecotopian, Again

2009-12-05T12:37:00.001-05:00

SAMSON, CA -- Agents Archive, Hammer, and Jim-Bean sat at the desks of the Ecotopian. The staff eyed them warily, but the hostile atmosphere of the office had changed since they last visited.

The office was staffed mostly by young people working phones, but there were also people writing reports and analyzing soil and water samples. There were posters up everywhere announcing the Festival of the Earth that was happening next weekend.

"Noelle Rand was our photographer. She quit the Ecotopian's staff and Full Wilderness completely a few weeks ago," said Fiona in her Scottish accent, incongruent with her Asian appearance. She was half-Chinese. "That's when I got the email."

She handed a print out of the email to Hammer. He scanned its contents. "So she left to join a women's environmental group…"

"The Sisterhood of New Potential," said Fiona. "Which is why I called you. She was suffering odd lapses in her memory and strange attacks of extreme fear. She disappeared shortly after I received that email."

"Why us?" asked Jim-Bean curiously. "I didn't think you were particularly fond of…our operation."

Fiona frowned. "The Sisterhood of New Potential has been recruiting several women from here," she said. "I had a fight with Cynthia Dexter about it."

"You spoke with her face to face?" asked Archive, curiosity piqued.

Fiona nodded. "She's either a religious nut, a scam artist, or both. She was always talking about her great goddess."

"We'll check it out," said Hammer. "And maybe afterwards I can brief you over dinner."

Fiona cocked her head, eyeing Hammer. "Maybe. Let's see what you find first." She handed Hammer an address. "This is Noelle's address. The police haven't paid much attention to the case, but I bet you can find out more."

"We have our methods," said Hammer cryptically. He tucked the note into a pocket and turned to go,

"Agent Hammer?"

Hammer spun on his heel, a little too quickly. "Yes?" he asked hopefully.

She pointed a finger at the printed email, still in Hammer's hand. "Don't forget to recycle that printout," she said with a sly smile. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 5c – R’lyeh

2009-12-05T12:34:00.001-05:00

“I just had an unsettling thought,” said Beldin. “I thought that the mountain range was intended to keep people out. But I’m starting to think it’s meant to keep things in.”

The island landscape spread out before them was a tableau of pure evil. A forest sent black-barked trees high into the mists—trees that seemed to tremble and groan without wind to urge them on. Beyond the woodland lay a roiling, steaming marshland, blood red in the dim light and giving off a sulfurous stink strong enough to reach them halfway up the mountain. In the middle of the fetid bog rose a black spire.

“That’s where he lies,” said Harry. “The wicked one! That’s where the good lord flung him. He keeps him locked up fast. Buried like a pirate, he is—with a treasure chest on top!”

The forest began at the mountain’s base and spread to occupy about a third of the valley.

As they stepped into the dense wood, the air filled with familiar creaks and groans.

“That almost sounds like…” began Beldin.

”A boat tacking against the wind,” finished Sebastian. “But no boat should be here.”

The noise was grotesquely appropriate. The trees weren’t made of solid wood, but planks, the kind that made up the deck of the Naoke, grown thickly together and bound with brass collars. Jutting out from the north face of every last one of the oaken monstrosities was a figurehead—a leering, cowled figure with clenched teeth.

As Vlad stared closely at one, its eyes sprung open. For a moment they appeared to be black, but he realized they had no iris at all. An emblem—a tentacled skull with five stars—crowned the head.

“Talk not to the trees,” warned Harry. “They got nothing good to say!” more

No Pain No Gain: Prologue

2009-12-04T07:08:00.001-05:00

Hammer's feed was interrupted by a call. He picked it up.

A woman's voice answered. "Agent Hammer?"

Hammer blinked . He recognized her voice. "Fiona?"

"Listen, I just saw the news report about the Sisterhood of New Potential. Are you working on that case?"

"Yes, why?"

"I think I have some information you'll want to hear about. Can you visit me at the Ecotopian offices?"

"We'll be right over." more

Isles of the Damned: Part 5b – R’lyeh

2009-12-04T07:06:00.000-05:00

R’lyeh brought its own weather. When it appeared in the archipelago, the sunlight dimmed and the skies filled with rolling purple storm clouds that delivered a constant downpour as they approached the island. A thick, soupy fog poured off the waves, occluding the island and reducing visibility to a matter of yards.

Through the forbidding mists, hints of shapes were visible. The stony inclines of mountains, rugged and vast, lurked beneath the fog. At their peaks, crags suggested themselves like faces under a shroud.

They came upon a coastline of mingled mud, ooze, and weedy Cyclopean masonry which could be nothing less than the tangible substance of earth's supreme terror - the nightmare corpse-city of R'lyeh, that was built in measureless aeons behind history by the vast, loathsome shapes that seeped down from the dark stars.

Only as they approached did the scale become clear: the fearsome summits soared many hundreds of feet into the air and began almost at the waterline. They formed a high, unbroken wall around the island, a formidable gate around the treasures of R’lyeh.

Sebastian landed on the deck of the Naoke. “It’s difficult to tell with the fog, but about halfway up the cliff face is a hole gouged into the rock. It’s at least as big as the ship. There’s a dim red light coming from inside the cavern.”

The dark-kin whispered “inlumino!”

His fist glowed with a reddish light. Sebastian took to the air, and although he was no longer visible in the fog, the red light served as a beacon for his companions.

“Looks like we’ll have to climb it,” said Beldin. He dusted his hands, relishing the thought of pitting himself against a mountain, no matter how strange.

“Speak for yourself,” said Kham. He crouched and then launched himself skywards, disappearing into the mist.

Vlad, who was far less enthusiastic about climbing the mountain, exchanged glances with Beldin. “Something’s different about Kham. That Leviathan Pistol has changed him somehow.”

“And Sebastian too,” said the dwarf. “He seems…less human.”

They rowed from the Naoke to the cliffs.

They clambered slipperily up over titan oozy blocks that could have been no mortal staircase. The very sun of heaven seemed distorted when viewed through the polarizing miasma welling out from this sea-soaked perversion, and twisted menace and suspense lurked leeringly in those crazily elusive angles of carven rock where a second glance showed concavity after the first showed convexity.

“Is it just me, or do these handholds look strange?” asked Vlad.

“It’s not just you.” Beldin grunted with exertion above him. “They seem a little too well-placed to be natural. The nooks in the rock have been scratched out with stone.”

“Judging from the flecks of blood, fingernails,” added Vlad.

“Strong fingernails, then.”

They climbed on in silence, with Sebsatian’s beacon occasionally coming into focus, until they reached a zigzag path that led steeply but surely to a tunnel.

Vapur curled from the cave’s lip and a dim red light came from inside the cavern. In the shifting half-light of R’lyeh it looked like an open wound.

Sebastian and Kham landed. Sebastian looked the val up and down.

“Since when can you fly?” he asked.

“Since when can you?” asked Kham nonchalantly. more

Eight Ways In-Vitro Meat will Change Our Lives

2009-12-03T21:26:00.001-05:00

Gross and yet...somehow inspiring. more

Chapter 49: No Pain, No Gain - Introduction

2009-12-03T06:37:00.001-05:00

This story hour is a combination of the scenario from At Your Door, "No Pain, No Gain," by Barbara Manui, Chris Adams, and L.N. Isinwyll, Dinner With Susan by Kelvin Green, and Goddess by Dr. Michael C. LaBossiere. You can read more about Delta Green at http://www.delta-green.com. Please note: This story hour contains spoilers!

Our cast of characters includes:

Game Master: Michael Tresca (http://michael.tresca.net)
Jim “Jim-Bean” Baxter (Charismatic Hero) played by Jeremy Ortiz (http://jeremyrobertortiz.blogspot.com)
Kurtis “Hammer” Grange (Fast/Dedicated Hero/Gunslinger) played by George Webster
Joseph “Archive” Fontaine (Dedicated Hero/Acolyte) played by Joe Lalumia

Up to this point, we've established that Dawn Biozyme has been dabbling with "Mother's Milk," that it comes from Shub-Niggurath, and that several of the spawn of said Great Old One have gotten loose. The team barely, just barely, defeated a fully grown Dark Young. Now it's time to up the stakes.

It all starts with Noelle Rand's disappearance, a photographer for Full Wilderness' Ecotopian magazine.

That connection is Cynthia Dexter, and she will be one of the many casualties as the agents run and gun their way through this scenario. But first, we start with the Mother of Pus, replacing the flabby monstrosity in Dinner with Susan. She's more disgusting than difficult, and it set the tone for just how gruesome the worshippers of Shub-Niggurath can get. This scenario was flesh-crawlingly gross, especially when Archive gets infected…

Next is a series of ambushes between cultists of Cynthia Dexter's Sisterhood of New Potential. We also get to see Fiona Lin-Wei back in action.

Finally is the scenario we've all been dreading: No Pain, No gain. The one with the horny giantess, talking dog, "Jennikins" and a railroad ambush. I played it straight – I used d20 rules for an explosion and cave-in and gave the agents a decent chance to escape. But they didn't.

So you know what happens next. In my defense, the only thing I changed was Willie. I changed him from Clifford the Big Red Dog to Rover from the Prisoner. This whole scenario turned very, very strange, but at no point did the players feel it was comical or out of sync with the rest of the conspiracy narrative. In fact, much to my surprise, they enjoyed it very much. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 5a – R’lyeh

2009-12-03T06:32:00.001-05:00

A low vibration the crew of the Naoke awake, growing in intensity as they scrambled to the deck.

“All hands!” shouted Baldric. “All hands on deck, ye mangy dogs! Move it!”

The cause of the alarm became evident as they sprinted on deck to the first red rays of the morning sun…a wave, nearly fort-feet high, was heading straight for them.

“I’ve got it,” said Beldin. He outstretched the hand that wore Cho Sun’s ring and focused.

The prow of the Naoke bit into the wave, launching a blast of spray that drenched them to their skin. The water lifted the bow and forced the ship skyward.

Still they kept climbing, the boat standing nearly on end as they made their way up, up, ever up. The last stars of the night sky were visible, and then the bow blocked them from view.

Still up they went, until the bow was above and behind, pushed farther back by the wave’s crest. And then they were over, the prow pushing through the top of the wave and down.

Beldin never lost his footing as the front of the ship crashed into the back of the wave, sending another torrent of water over him and below decks.

Then the sea calmed, the tidal wave passed. Ahead, the cause of the disturbance was plain: an island, one that hadn’t been there yesterday, sitting alone as the waves caused by its appearance extended outward like ripples fleeing a tossed stone.

Sebastian twisted the seawater out of their map, his wings and hair sopping wet. “That would be R’lyeh.” more

Isles of the Damned: Part 4e – Crystal Lake Island

2009-12-02T07:10:00.001-05:00

There was little evidence in Moab Cys’varion’s wretched form that he was once an elorii. His hair had long since fallen out and his pupiless eyes were pink. His flesh was splotchy white in patches, gray in others. He stood at the far end of the ship.

“I should be thankful,” Moab said in soft tones. “I had hoped to send my armies into Freeport. Instead I have sent them here and they have all failed. Or rather, they have achieved what I wished for them to accomplish.”

Beldin and Vlad stood resolute. “What’s that?” asked the dwarf as they advanced on him.

“They softened you up so that I may have you as experiments. You will make suitable replacements for my former adventuring companions. I need good warriors.”

Beldin circled around one side of the Naoke’s mainmast and Vlad around the other. Sailor and mutant bodies were littered everywhere.

“But for the moment, I think you will make quite a nice statue.” Moab pointed at Beldin. “Corporeus lapideus!”

A sparkling green beam struck the dwarf but it didn’t slow him. “That the best you got?”

Moab sneered. “Perhaps the former giant would like to become smaller: Resilio adstringo!”

The dwarf didn’t slow his stride.

Moab frowned but didn’t waste time on threats. He pointed at Vlad. “Polymorph alius!”

Nothing happened.

Beldin slapped Windcutter in an open palm. “This is going to be easier than I thought.” more

Isles of the Damned: Part 4d – Crystal Lake Island

2009-12-01T06:52:00.001-05:00

A twisted gnome with a red Mohawk tumbled up to him, crossbow at the ready.

“Wait a minute…” said the gnome. “I remember you! You’re that idiot I tried to kill in Freeport!”

Kham tried to track the gnome with the Leviathan Pistol. “Funny, you don’t ring a bell.”

“Rooster Tumblefoot! You don’t remember me? You were blitzed out of your mind on Ghoul Juice when that flapping idiot up there,” he jabbed a thumb in Sebastian’s direction, “melted me into slag!”

“Nope, don’t remember you.”

The gnome fired his crossbow but it went wide. “What? Aren’t you surprised I’m still alive?”

Kham kept tracking him with the pistol. “Not really.”

“Don’t you see how amazingly powerful Moab’s magic is?” The gnome was becoming visibly frustrated. He drew his short sword and advanced on Kham. “I mean, I was his one success with the Leviathan Spyglass…I managed to escape this crazy place! Then when I nearly died, it drew me back. Moab saved me from the brink of death.”

Rooster lunged with his blade, but Kham blurred sideways out of his field of view.

“Skin grafts take a LONG time! A lot of people died so I could live.” The gnome looked around. “You sure you don’t remember me?”

Kham was standing on the rigging above him. Kham’s eyes flashed from behind his lenses.

Rooster’s eyes rolled in his head. He collapsed to the deck, drool dripping from his slack jaw, his brain smashed from Kham's psychic attack.

“Sorry, nothing’s coming to mind.” Kham landed next to him and kicked Rooster’s dying body overboard. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 4c – Crystal Lake Island

2009-11-26T08:06:00.000-05:00

Complete chaos engulfed the Naoke. First it was the two-headed giants. A second later, a four-armed gorilla showed up. Then a huge leopard with tentacles grafted to its flesh and a wolverine with bony plates jutting from its forehead.

“We can’t take them all on at once!” Vlad parried the whip-crack of one of the leopard’s tentacles with his shield. “There’s too many!”

Beldin rolled beneath one of the giants and cut its leg out from under it. Its howl was cut off by Windcutter chopping through its throat. “Bah! I’ll take care of the giants, you take care of the rest!”

Sebastian pointed at the wolverine. “Demitte resisto!” Nothing happened.

“If that was supposed to do something, it didn’t!” Kham took aim at the wolverine and fired. A chunk of fur and flesh blew off the beast, but it kept coming at Vlad.

“I was assaying their weaknesses,” Sebastian said calmly from his position over the deck. “Watch: radius incensio!”

Three spiraling beams of fire sliced into the wolverine, engulfing it in flames. It was all Vlad could do to keep it on the other side of his shield. more

Landscrapes: Conclusion

2009-11-25T07:20:00.000-05:00

Suddenly, a great cracking noise shattered the silence, followed by a terrifying vision: separating itself from the surrounding evergreens, a tentacle beast bore down on them, tendrils waving, pus-dripping mouths champing. The hideous offspring of Shub-Niggurath screeched and howled. It was the creature that had escaped from Dawn Biozyme, that had killed off the Black Flag team. And now it was coming for Hammer.

Hammer ran. He plunged straight through the open doorway and, leaping over the wreckage, hit the ground running. Behind him, the thing smashed through the cabin, heedless of the obstacle in its path. Jim-Bean never made it out.

Hammer kept running. He could out run it, he was sure, if it weren't for the damn trees. He just had to find some flat ground.

But there was none. The trees were everywhere.

Hammer looked over his shoulder. The thing was right on his heels, tentacles waving towards him, probing, tearing trees out of its path or just smashing right through them with its cloven hooves.

Stars exploded as Hammer ran headlong into a trunk. He fell backwards, bouncing off of the solid oak, stunned.

Tentacles snaked towards him, hungry mouths sucking in anticipation.

Hammer caught sight of the box of dynamite. He'd dropped it as he ran, and now it was partially underneath the tentacle-thing's feet. He took aim and fired. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 4b – Crystal Lake Island

2009-11-25T07:18:00.001-05:00

Sebastian launched himself into the air, trying to get a clear shot.

“Don’t use fire!” shouted Baldric. “Ye’ll destroy me ship!”

“I know, I know!” Sebastian shouted back.

Beldin rolled and hacked down one of the mutants. He came up behind another one that was advancing on Vlad. It didn’t see him…

The mutant tossed its hair, and a pair of eyes peered through the strands at him. They went wide and the mutant soldier spun just as Beldin’s axe came down for what would have been a fatal blow.

“They’ve got eyes in the backs of their heads!” shouted Beldin. “Literally!” more

Landscrapes: Part 10 – The Forests See All

2009-11-24T08:41:00.001-05:00

The portal emptied into an overgrown clearing. At the center was an old, creaky log cabin, a collapsed outbuilding, and a well.

Jim-Bean's mask was gone. He looked around, blinking in the setting sun.

"I recognize this," said Hammer. "This was Waban's place."

The sound of many flies buzzing through the air caused Hammer to unholster his Glocks. Jim-Bean held the braincase in one hand and the Elder Sign in the other.

Pointing the braincase towards to Waban's house, it began to pulse.

Jim-Bean led the way, climbing the rough steps up to Waban’s house. There were a large number of flies around the screen door, accompanied by a revolting stench.

The screen door was black with flies crawling over the torn mesh. Hammer kicked it open.

A scene of grisly proportions greeted them.

"Jesus," whispered Hammer. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 4a – Crystal Lake Island

2009-11-24T08:36:00.001-05:00

They gathered on the deck of the Naoke under the pale moonlight.

“So,” said Kham. “What’s the plan?”

Von Grebel glared at Kham. “I never agreed to help you.”

“Yeah, well, I never agreed to help you either. And if I recall correctly, the Leviathan Bell controls undead, right?”

The vampire paused. “What’s your point?”

“I mean, we could just force you to tell us what we want, right?”

Von Grebel crossed his arms.

“That’s what I thought,” said Kham. “Since we’re stuck with each other, maybe we should concentrate on getting out of here.”

The vampire muttered something.

“What was that?” asked Kham.

“You heard me.”

“'You don’t know how'?” more

Landscrapes: Part 9 – PELLUCIDAR

2009-11-23T07:54:00.001-05:00

The cavern opened up above and below and to each side. Hundreds of the tiny, fire-like lights provided dim illumination. The light revealed a dome at least ninety feet above, and a canyon below it running approximately three-hundred feet to the northwest, before a bend hid the rest of its extent from view. The sound of a river gurgled up from the canyon floor below at least two hundred and fifty feet away. The opposite side of the canyon was the source of the light, as it twinkled in sparkling profusion from the windows of a majestic cliff dwelling.

The place was large enough to have its own atmosphere. It smelled odd, and strange clicking and buzzing sounds reached their ears.

"What is this place?" asked Hammer.

"I don't think it'z on Earth," responded Jim-Bean.

Up ahead was a pentagon-shaped building made of similar black obsidian. A pentagon-shaped door lensed open before Jim-Bean as he approached.

Inside, the floor was smooth, black obsidian rock. Strange fungus growths were everywhere. They moved to the next room through another pentagon door.

It opened to a similarly sized room emitting loud buzzing and clicking noises like a swarm of wasps. Inside were tiny, winged lobsters, clambering around eating spores from massive toadstools and other fungal growths that filled the chamber, while little black worm larva crawled everywhere else. An organic, transparent membrane stopped the creatures from escaping.

"That iz their young," said Jim-Bean matter-of-factly.

"You're starting to creep me out with that mask," said Hammer.

Metal shelves on the walls held various cylinders, some occupied, others empty. Strange appendages that looked like speakers were also on the shelves. One cylinder had recently been opened and left unfinished.

"We already know what's in those." Hammer swallowed hard. He'd seen a man's brain sucked out through his face. That image would stay with him for the rest of his life. He refused to look inside.

They moved on to the next room. It contained strange alien tables created in human shape. Next to the beds were translucent egg shaped vessels with pipes pumping liquid into them from valves in the ceiling. Inside each vessel were human organs and body parts such as lungs, hearts, eyes, leg muscles and intestines, kept alive and functioning by the strange fluids.

"I remember thiz place," said Jim-Bean, his voice evincing a hint of nostalgia.

"That's not…yours, is it?" asked Hammer.

Jim-Bean didn't answer. Maybe he didn't want to know. He walked to the next room.

It was bare except for the back wall covered in strange runes.

The runes on the wall glowed. A large, pinkish, fungoid, crustacean-like entity stepped out of it.

It was the size of a man with a convoluted ellipsoid composed of pyramided, fleshy rings and covered in antennae where a head would normally be. Its crustacean-like body bore numerous sets of paired appendages. It also possessed a pair of membranous bat-like wings. Alien dog. Mi-Go. Mothman. Whatever it was, Jim-bean stood before it unafraid. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 3d – White Gorilla Island

2009-11-23T07:52:00.001-05:00

The room took their breath away. Gold and precious gems were encrusted on every surface and carved bas-relief depictions of an idealized Gorilla City lined the walls and ceiling. The subjects in the depictions appeared very happy, as if their queen were extremely benevolent. An ornate throne rested on a raised platform within and covered braziers lit each corner of the room.

“What are you doing, fools?” An unearthly beautiful woman in flowing white robes, tall, raven-haired and imperious stood up from the throne. “Turn around and fight!”

The gorillas, wielding spears, did not hesitate to comply. Beldin and Vlad engaged them.

“Jenny!” shouted Kham. “Jenny, it’s all right. We’re not here to hurt you!”

“Did he just say we’re not here to hurt her?” asked Vlad.

Beldin brandished his axe. “I think so.”

Sebastian launched himself into the air and unleashed a blast of electrical energy from his fingertips. It arced between the rows of gorilla guards, sending them flying.

Sycorax turned to face Kham. “Zoltan? You’re pathetic. You’re a shadow of your former self. You’re even more pathetic because you continue to cling to the idea that you can retain your former glory. Those days are over!”

The apes quickly recovered. Vlad hacked one ape across the clavicle and it went down hard. Another smashed into him, the blow from its huge fists nearly dislodging his shield.

“Are you…” Kham squinted. “You’re WEARING the hook? Are you mad, woman? Its power…”

Sycorax, who had one arm behind her back, sighed. “I had hoped you wouldn’t see that.”

Beldin smashed one gorilla with his shield. When it doubled over, he hacked it sideways with Windcutter. Just as it went down, another gorilla took its place.

“It’s not hard,” sneered Sebastian. “Holding one arm behind your back isn’t exactly concealing it.” more

Landscrapes: Part 8 – Balance of Power

2009-11-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

Jim-Bean was once again at the wall, wearing the bizarre mask. He looked like some kind of alien insect hybrid, not unlike the alien dogs, or Mothmen, they had met in the past. Humming filled the air.

Hammer dashed back into the chamber.

"What'z up?" asked Jim-Bean. With the mask on his speech was garbled.

Gunfire answered Jim-Bean's question. Hammer returned fire. "Work on getting that wall opened!"

The enemy agents were all dressed in black body armor with laser sights on their pistols and nightvision goggles. Hammer suspected they were yet another clean-up crew, sent by Dawn Biozyme to keep them from discovering whatever secrets lay beyond the wall.

There was a flash and a WOOSH as a bullet arced around one of the stalactites at Hammer, narrowly missing his head.

"What the hell waz that?" asked Jim-Bean, reflexively ducking from the small explosion.

"I don't know." Hammer shut his visor lamp off and snapped a glow stick. He kept it out of sight, but close enough that he could still see right a few feet around him.

In the green radiance of the glow stick, the masked Jim-Bean looked even more bizarre. He kept probing the wall, and as he did so the mask resonated. It was almost as if it were trying to find the right pitch to harmonize with the wall's vibrations…

The comms of the pursuing clean-up team were magnified in the tunnels. "This is Agent Balance. Targets sighted. All teams converge on my point."

Another gyroject bullet shrieked around the corner, punching through a stalactite.

Hammer fired blindly in the darkness. "Jimmy, if you're going to do something, do it now!" more

Isles of the Damned: Part 3c – White Gorilla Island

2009-11-21T08:52:00.001-05:00

The Pyramid of Sycorax dominated the skyline of Gorilla City. It was, in fact, the tallest structure on the island, and it was visible from most anywhere except the dark heart of the jungle. It was made from large volcanic-stone blocks in a classic step-pyramid style. A set of stairs ran up from the base to a wide terrace near the apex of the Pyramid.

The stairs led to a large, ornate set of double doors, beneath an archway constructed of two enormous ivory tusks from some gargantuan beast. Two white gorillas stood guard in front of the doors, with a large gong just to the left of them.

Sebastian landed with a flap of his wings. The two white-furred gorillas beat their chests as he descended.

“I’d step out of the way if I were you.”

The gorillas looked at Sebastian, puzzled. Then they looked up. Someone was shouting above them.

“—aaaaaAAAAH!” A dwarf-shaped projectile smashed into the first gorilla. Vlad crashed into the second. more

Landscrapes: Part 7 – Under Owlshead Mountain

2009-11-20T06:43:00.000-05:00

When the agents stepped out of the elevator, they entered a cavern containing five small wooden stands cluttered with camp gear and arrowheads. Small crickets chirped in the corners.

Jim-Bean inspected the camp gear. It included a Coleman stove and twenty cans of soup.

"Somebody likes Campbell's Steak 'n Potato Soup," he said.

The stands contained several small arrowheads collected from the cave.

The agents switched their visor lights on and threaded their way through the northern tunnel.

It narrowed amongst flowstone, stalagmites, and columns. There were a few cigarette butts on the floor, accompanying spiders and gnats.

They continued on, passed white to gold flowerlike structures that seemed to ooze and curl from the wall, ceiling, and floor much like icing from a cake decorator’s nozzle. There were also thin-walled naturally formed hollow tubes about an inch in diameter. They splashed through pools of water, where eyeless crayfish and springfish wiggled about in its depths.

Finally, they came to a wall of matte-black substance that blocked the northeast tunnel. Two six-foot tall mushrooms flanked the fifteen-foot wide wall.

"Whoa," said Jim-Bean, eyeing the mushrooms. "Those are some BIG mushrooms."

The mushrooms had bright red caps with sickly yellow spots and a pale milky stalk of a body. They had an eye-like pattern on the stalks with the same sickly yellow color that adorned the cap.

Hammer played his visor light over the wall. "I saw this wall in my vision. It doesn't look like stone to me."

"In your vision, you heard buzzing?"

"Yeah," replied Hammer

"Then the shaman mask might help." Jim-Bean dug it out. "Good thing I left it in the trunk."

"Good thing it wasn't in your satchel," muttered Hammer.

While he was rifling through his satchel to pull out the mask, Jim-Bean's elbow brushed the curious black wall. That was all it took.

The mushrooms unfurled, two stubby arms separating seamlessly out from the main stalk. Legs separated at the base.

"Yaaah!" shouted Jim-Bean, stumbling backwards. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 3b – White Gorilla Island

2009-11-20T06:40:00.001-05:00

They stood in the entrance to the Skull’s mouth, near the two ornate, gear-heavy structure.

Beldin peered skeptically at the massive metal cylinders. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true!” said Kham, hands spread in a plea. “These cylinders store thousands of gallons of potions of flight. When I command the Skull, engines inside the cylinders distribute the potions to massive, wheezing bellows, where it is atomized and distributed via hoses to the nozzles on the outside of the craft.”

The Skull shuddered.

Sebastian knocked a knuckle against one of the cylinders. “Even if that were true, potions don’t work that way. You don’t simply spray them in a direction to create an effect. By that logic I could poor a healing potion over my head and be healed.”

“As a matter of fact, these two vats,” Kham pointed at the vats overhead, “store exactly that. The Skull showers healing potions on Zoltan’s townspeople after their battles.”

“But potions don’t work like that!” shouted Beldin.

Kham waved the pistol and the jaws of the Skull began to slowly open. Roaring wind tore through the opening.

Sebastian opened up his wings as they caught the air, snapping to his full wingspan. “I suppose if he created them as a form of oil instead…”

“What will happen to the Zaska clones?” Beldin hesitated at the opening. “To the children?”

“They’ll be dead,” said Sebastian without emotion. “Wraps the problem of Zaska and Sycorax up nicely, I think.”

Beldin just stared at him.

“Look, we don’t have a whole lot of time here!” Kham drew Talon and slashed one of the hoses that connected to the cylinders. A bluish liquid gushed from the hose. “Do you want to argue about Althares’ gifts or do you want to not get smashed to a pulp?”

Vlad waved his hand. “I’d like to not be smashed to a pulp, please.” more

Landscrapes: Part 6 – The Laboratory

2009-11-19T06:36:00.000-05:00

Past the Fumo Loco were workbenches and shelves, covered with plants—except that they had grown far out of their own pots, reaching down to the floor and rooting in the earth there, mingling with each other in unholy biological matrimony. Looking closer, the actual species were weird—crossbreeds, bulbs of unnatural shape and flowers of unholy hue.

The lab had obviously not been used for some time. All tools were removed, although some glass containers filled with seeds and samples remained. There was a door on the far side of the room.

Jim-Bean tilted his head. "Do you hear that?"

"No," said Hammer, trying to keep his eyes on every plant at once. "What are you hearing?"

"Singing." Jim-Bean leaned down to a patch of pink flowers. "Yep, singing."

"The flowers are singing to you?" asked Hammer, skeptical.

"Need I remind you that we were just attacked by a tree?" more

Isles of the Damned: Part 3a – White Gorilla Island

2009-11-19T06:35:00.000-05:00

Von Grebel sighed. “We are running out of time. Sycorax will use her ritual to subjugate her followers today. We’ve got to invade or it’ll be another twelve days before she does it again.”

“Sycorax?” Sebastian stared at von Grebel. “Sycorax, mother of Camring, impostor to the Sea Lord’s throne?”

“Black Jenny Ramsey,” Kham said breathlessly. “She’s taken on a new persona as the White Queen of Gorilla Island.”

“Gorillas,” said Vlad. “Seriously?”

Von Grebel nodded. “Sycorax’s slaves built a series of arcane obelisks that focus the Hook’s dominating powers. Once every twelve days, gorilla work crews travel through the city with wagons filled with human prisoners. When they reach the obelisks, the gorillas shackle a human to the top of each one and bleed him to death. The obelisks reinforce Sycorax’s dominance so that her control over every sentient being on the island is complete.”

“Gorillas?” Vlad asked again. more

Landscrapes: Part 5 – Forest for the Trees

2009-11-18T06:24:00.000-05:00

The explosion was so powerful that it knocked Hammer down, yards away, and blew out all the glass in the greenhouse.

The tree burst into flames, stopping in its tracks. What was left of the work shed disintegrated in a flaming pile of wreckage.

"Jimmy?" Hammer shouted into his cistron. "Jim?"

No response.

Hammer caught sight of a streaking red line moving along the ground. He sprayed wildly with his Glock, missing it.

It darted back into the copse of trees. And another oak, this one larger than the first, painfully tore up its roots.

Hammer, jaw set, knew what he had to do.

"Come on!" shouted Hammer, setting the gas can next to him. "Come on you son of a bitch!"

The tree awkwardly, slowly, stumped towards him. It would have been comical under different circumstances.

Hammer backed up, rifle at the ready. The tree strode within yards of the gas can.

"Come on," whispered Hammer. "Just a little closer…"

The tree stopped. It waved one huge limb, curling branches around it in the chastising gesture of a human finger, as if to say, "Nah ah ah!"

Hammer swore. It was smarter than he thought. more

Isles of the Damned: Part 2g – The Boneshaper’s Throne

2009-11-18T06:20:00.001-05:00

They emerged in a room unlike anything they had seen so far in Zoltan’s castle. It was completely black. The darkness came from drapes, heavy velvet ones, strung around the room, covering the naturally gleaming ceramic. Two pieces of furniture dominated the room: a massive four-poster bed, also curtained, and a mammoth pipe organ, which wheezed out the weird atonal music that filled the atrium below.

One hulking mechanical skeleton plunked away at the organ while two others turned the pages of sheet music.

“Ha-ha!” Zoltan leaped from the curtains, looking as roguish, handsome, and charming as ever.

“Great,” Kham sighed. “Please tell me you’re the real Zoltan and we can kill you now.”

“I am indeed,” said Zoltan with a smile. “I have been watching you closely, and you’ve made a fine impression. If you can best me in a fair battle, I will proudly meet my fate and hand over de pistol.”

“Very funny,” said Kham. “Like my comrades would ever let me fight you in single combat. Right guys?”

Silence.

Kham turned around. “Guys? You’re not seriously going to let me fight him one on one, are you?” more

Landscrapes: Part 4 – Beating Around the Bush

2009-11-17T06:37:00.000-05:00

Hammer ran towards the shed.

"The thing is animating plants!" shouted Hammer.

"What?" Jim-Bean shouted back, reloading his pistol.

Hammer didn't bother to explain. He reholstered his pistols and cocked the rifle slung over his shoulder without losing his stride.

Behind him, an oak tree stumped along relentlessly.

"Is that…?" asked Jim-Bean.

"Yes!" Hammer spun, took aim, and fired.

A burst of wood splintered out of the trunk. Some leaves fell. But it was about as effective as shooting a tree might be – which is to say, not effective all.

"I need a can of gasoline!"

Jim-Bean handed Hammer the gasoline can, dumbfounded. more