bunnyfoot

well i thought it was funny...

2008-05-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

things are getting better around here as it seems i now have enough spare time in the day to squander surfing the internet. forget about the laundry, forget about shaving the armpits, forget about zapping the feet with tinactin, forget about the squalling child too - the black hole of the internet beckons. this image is from engrish.com. i suppose i found it poignant because, due to the breeding experiment, i can now appreciate the juxtaposition of dairy and bras with nary a trace of irony. not that i am still a human dairy cow, no, that ended long ago, much to the chagrin of my balloon-boob-luvin' mate, but the memory is still quite fresh.

much to my surprise, the whole breastfeeding experiment has very much changed my relationship with the, um, the mass of fat encased glands known as boobs. not necessarily for the better. some of you may want to stop reading here. if you're still with me, i have two words for you: national geographic. yep. at first, after weaning, i thought that they just seemed oh-so-little because of the comparison to their former bay watch glory. but after much scrutiny i realized that yes, they were different. i figured they'd just kinda shrunk in the wash. "okay" i though to myself, "i can live with that". but no. after more scrutiny, i realized that no amount of wash'n'dry could do that. nope. it was as if they were hung out to dry. not smaller. longer. this might be a little tougher to swallow.

i can now can be found on page 37 of national geographic, august edition 1957. and that's just the upstairs. i'll save the downstairs for another day.

on a cheerier note, the worm no longer stinks like rotten cheese, can self-propel on two hooves, and has a surprisingly sunny and outgoing character. she resembles neither of her alleged parents either in face or disposition. maybe that day in the hospital the gods smiled on me and sent me home with the wrong one. maybe somewhere out there skulks a cranky, cross-eyed, sullen, introverted, black-clad toddler, ruining someone else's life.

and since this is a food blog, here is a token food shot, in honor of asparagus season. paper bag steamed asparagus, compliments of tyler florence. as soon as i heard about it, i knew i had to give it a shot, for the novelty in nothing else. it wasn't until after i'd finished eating all the spears that i bothered wondering where that paper bag had been before it wrapped itself around my food. i envisioned a bum tucking it inside his tatty winter coat along with a few old newspapers to keep out the biting chill of winter before being returned to the store by an eco-warrior for re-use. i imagined it full of tb germs. in general, i imagine a lot of things, most of which are either ridiculous or impossible or both, so pay me no heed. the dish turned out fine. aside from overcooking, it's hard to ruin asparagus.

i'm feeling rather lazy today so if you are interested in trying out this method of questionable cleanliness, head on over to foodtv here.

smoky chickpea soup

2008-01-20T14:36:00.000-08:00

so it's been just over a year since the worm snaked its way into the world, leaving a new, not necessarily improved, internal topography in her wake. i kinda figured that, at one year, there would be a transition back to "normal" life. well, a year has come and gone. and i'm still waiting. somehow i think it may be a long, long wait. but because it's important that we harbor fantasies of what riches the future may bring, my next false hope is that preschool will be the panacea, returning life back to "more normal". having an only slightly below average IQ, i have a sneaking suspicion that this too will prove to be a lie and the only thing that will change is that i will wake up a year from now sporting slightly worse breath and a few more creaks in the old, worn out joints.

so life will never return to the old way. i suppose that's ultimately a good thing. change is better than stagnation. i suppose a more realistic way to look at it is that i've traded up. up from a squalling, helpless, neck-cheese-rot stinking miniature quadriplegic to a teeth baring, screeching, raging monkey. i suppose we could call that progress.

anyway, all this is just a long-winded way of saying that i'm back. since a genie will not pop out of my empty bottle of makers mark as i lovingly caress it's golden belly and with a wave of its hand restore to me "free" time, i guess i'm going to have to grab the bull by it's rocky mountain oysters and demand it. or at least do a little blogging in between man-sized swigs of bourbon.

i picked up this recipe from our local rag. i didn't expect much but had a bunch of leftover homemade chickpeas loitering in the refrigerator and have been on a smoked paprika kick lately, so, i thought, why not? and it was edible. it was, in fact, delicious. super easy, super healthy, smoky, creamy and delicious. what else could i ask for, other than a live-in nanny?

Smoky Chickpea Soup
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
1 onion, roughly chopped
3 celery stalks, chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1/2 teaspoon saffron (i forgot to use this but it tasted great anyway)
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
5 cups vegetable broth
2 cans (15 ounces each) chickpeas, drained (or, if possible, about 3 cups homemade)
salt, to taste
olive oil

cook carrots, onion and celery in olive oil until soft but not browned. add garlic, saffron, cumin and smoked paprika, and cook for an additional minute, stirring constantly. add broth and chickpeas. adjust seasonings. simmer for about 30 minutes then puree until smooth. this might be pretty served with a fine sprinkling of sweet paprika and a swirl of olive oil.

fat-free microwave granola

2007-09-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

dah-dah-dah-ma-ah-nyah-yahhhhhh!!!! that just about sums it up. these days my conversations and thought processes no longer go beyond the babbling stage. no, it's worse than that. i must confess i now find diaper talk actually interesting and the blob-like progeny kinda cute. yep. that's right, i have a serious case of the dreaded "mommy brain". you've seen it around. that weirdly blank blissed-out look those still unkempt mothers wear in the presence of their young, the precipitous decrease in survival skills (is the middle of the road really the best place to stop and adjust a sock?), the inability to construct a complex, non-repetitive sentence, and most horribly, the belief that the babbling and yelling noises the flesh-nuggets make whilst attempting to master the fine art of speech, even in public, is somehow endearing. please kill me now.

the fat, loud, farting spawn formerly known as worm is now 7 months old. head and limb control coupled with sumo-like curves necessitated a change of moniker. you can call her meatballs. we do. she got so fat that the only vacant spot on her body for the adipose nuggets to settle was the tops of her feet and toes, thus transforming perfectly good anatomical parts into something better suited to lying atop a plate of spaghetti. and did i mention the cellulite? hers, not mine. i didn't know babies could get cellulite.

but enough of this breeder talk, lets continue on to the heart of the matter: fat-free nuclear granola. now let's not kid ourselves, this thing you find hungry shoppers foraging for in the bulk bin aisle of the supermarket, this thing called granola, is often not all that healthy. loaded down with sugar, lots of oil, a boatload of nuts and dried fruit, it barely misses being a type of candy, in my babbling opinion, whole grains notwithstanding. but people think it's a type of health food, and therein lies the fatal error: because you think it's good for you, and because it does taste pretty good, you end up (okay, so i'm talking about myself here) eating way, way more than a single serving. and so began my obsession with making my own, less fatty and less sweet version.

for my my first attempts i used the oven crisping method and swapped out all or most of the oil with water or fruit juice. this produced a granola that was not crispy but rather hard. quite hard. hard is not an adjective i want to use to describe my breakfast cereal. three or four different recipes all yielded the same results. just before throwing in the baby-puke stained towel i nipped round to bryanna clark grogan's blog and what did mine eyes behold but a fat-free granola recipe that used, of all things, the nuker! well, i thought to myself, if the microwave can make perfect, crispy fat-free potato chips, why couldn't it do the same for granola? and as it turns out, it can. and does. this method produces great, crispy, small batch granola with zero added oil. the grains, flavorings, addition of fruit or nuts can all be adjusted to taste. who knew granola could be so much fun? this could even make a good project with a kid. to check out the original recipe, go to bryanna's blog and search for "granola".

oil-free microwave coconut/maple granola
2 cups rolled wholegrain cereal (i like a mixture of oatmeal, spelt barley and kamut flakes)
3/4 cups whole grain flour (i use a mixture of wheat and rye)
1/2 cup wheat, oat or rice bran
1/3 cup maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon coconut extract

put everything into a bowl and mix around with your grubby little fingers. cover the rotating glass carousel of your nuker with waxed paper and spread grains directly on top, taking care to spread evenly (this is for a large microwave, if yours is smaller, cook in multiple batches). cook on hi for 3 minutes. stir and spread out flat again. cook for 3 more minutes and let stand for at least 3 minutes to dry out. depending on the power and size of your microwave these cooking times may need to be adjusted slightly before you find the perfect timing. the first time out, watch it like a hawk cause it can burn really, really fast.

vegan cupcakes take over the world!

2007-07-02T15:07:00.000-07:00

gorgeous, yes?

yesterday i attended my first toddler birthday party, something me and my silver filled mouth would have avoided like the dentist during my pre-breeding days. however, after being marooned at home all day, every day, for the past four plus months with the one-way-street-known-as-baby, the thought of frolicking with those screeching little baboons and their harried, exhausted, anemic mothers, suddenly seemed like fun. that is how far i've fallen. it didn't hurt that the proud papa of the birthday baboon lured me over with promises of a virgin bottle of makers mark. a promise he made good on, i (and my throbbing head) might mention. i suspect that many a parent snuck into the liquor cabinet for a bit of courage to help them through that afternoon.

wailers, screechers, territorial pissers, chest-thumpers, nose-pickers, even a furtive masturbator were present. gazing out at the scene through my amber filled glass of bravado, i could not help but note that we truly do share much in common with our simian brethren. i also could not help but note that perhaps the worst is yet to come. you see, worm and i have entered into a honeymoon phase of sorts. she can hold her own head up, make eye contact, grasp things in her fat little fingers and make hideous pre-speech croakings in the scratchy voice of a wizened old drunken hooker. it doesn't hurt that i've also almost forgotten what life before was like, and that i'm resigned to the fact that i will never, ever, never again get a good, long, uninterrupted nights sleep. so i guess things are good. the neck cheese is being held in check with daily harvestings. and most importantly she can not yet locomote or talk back. ah the salad days.

so for the two-year old baboon's birthday i made cupcakes. 96. all vegan. i thought it a good opportunity to test out some recipes from vegan cupcakes take over the world without being obligated to eat more than a few dozen. pictured here are the banana split and mint chocolate cupcakes. i also made fauxstess cupcakes (with a mocha buttercream frosting in place of the ganache), a raspberry filled vanilla cupcake topped with buttercream frosting and a fresh raspberry (very pretty), and a plain chocolate batch.

everyone liked them. the parents of those with dairy and nut allergies appreciated the un-nutty vegan-ness of it all, the other adults were surprised that vegan could taste good, and the screeching baboons appreciated the mounds of frosting with which they painted their faces, sculpted their hair, and hid in their pockets (remind me to never buy toddler clothes with pockets - it's just asking for trouble).

my favorite was the chocolate mint cupcakes. chocolate and mint go so well together, and the green frosting is fun. however, i must admit that i used the fauxstess cupcake base to which i added mint extract instead of the chocolate cupcake recipe in the book. although the banana split cupcake was pretty, i found the cake itself to be quite dense, almost muffin-like, but this is often an issue with vegan baked goods. i also omitted the chocolate and preserves swirl opting instead for a more classic banana flavor.

if you're vegan and jonesing for cupcakes, i recommend picking up a copy of this book. there are some interesting flavors (chai or margarita cupcakes anyone?), excellent buttercream recipes, and lots of fun decorating ideas. also be on the lookout for isa and terry's next cookbook, veganomicon: the ultimate vegan cookbook.

chocolate mint cupcakes

the cupcake:
1 cup flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
3 Tablespoons black cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup plain rice or soymilk
1/4 cup canola oil
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

preheat the oven to 350 and line a 12-muffin tin with paper cupcake liners. spray with the liners with canola spray to prevent sticking. sift together the flour, cocoa powders, baking powder, baking soda and salt. in another bowl combine the rice milk, oil, maple syrup, sugar, vinegar and vanilla. beat at medium speed for about two minues. add the dry ingredients to the wet and beat for about another minute to combine. fill each cupcake liner about 2/3 full and bake for about 25-30 minutes. remove from oven and allow to fully cool.

mint icing:
1/4 cup non hydrogenated shortening
3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup plus 1 Tablespoon soy creamer or soymilk
1 1/2 teaspoons mint extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 drop green food coloring

cream the shortening for a few minutes until soft. this is easiest using a stand mixer but can be done with a handheld mixer (or a fork) as long as the shortening is at room temperature. add 1 cup of the powdered sugar and a few splashes of the soycreamer. mix to incorporate and continue to alternate until all the powdered sugar is used up and the frosting is at the desired consistency. add vanilla and mint.

ganache (you may want to halve or third this amount, depending on how much you want to use):
3 Tablespoons soycreamer or soymilk
1/3 semisweet chocolate chips

melt chocolate and soycreamer on top of a double boiler or in the microwave until smooth and runny; be careful not to burn or the chocolate will seize up and become bitter.

to assemble:
use a piping bag with a large star tip to frost cupcakes. place a dollop of ganach on top. you could alternately decorate with1/2 a newman mint-o cookie or even a sprig of fresh mint.

lazy man's no knead bread

2007-05-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

a day late and a dollar short, that's the story of my life. having been out of blogging commission for quite some time with the great science experiment and trying to keep alive something that is clearly unfit for survival, i'm a bit behind the curve. well, let's just say a bit more behind the curve than usual. i'm sure most of you have probably already tried, or at least heard of this miraculous "no knead bread". yesterday's news. been there, done that. "who is this rae that is sooo out of it," you might be wondering, and "is she such a fossil that she is still wearing her original eighties wardrobe without an ounce of irony?". ahem, well, firstly, let me just say that irony is in the eye of the beholder. secondly, that there is nothing wrong with those high waisted, pleated jeans, big-shouldered blazers in a riot of neon colors, and rockin'ly large, frizzy, home-frosted hair. which is not to say that is my look per se. that would be way, way too hip for me.

but i digress. the point is that you've probably already tried this recipe. but if you haven't, whatever your excuse for lagging, the time has come. because it is good. and easy. even this lazy atkins-free carb-ovoire with the ten yeast killing digits managed to produce a very decent loaf. all you need is the proper vessel and advance planning.

if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you're probably aware that i am a self-proclaimed atrocious baker. the anti-baker. my hockey pucks come out with pentacles charred into the crust. yet despite it all, i dream of a crisp crust, that homey smell of freshly baked bread wafting through the house, a steaming, airy and spongy slab of carb-o-riffic goodness seducing a pat of earth balance margarine into a velvety silky sheen. and so i try and try and try again to master the mighty loaf. usually with results unfit for even these filthy city pigeons of whom i am so terribly (and according to sf city ordinance, illegally) fond.

anyway, this is a weird recipe. it requires a super long overnight sponge. a dutch oven. and a fork. the dough is so wet that it needs walls to support its vertical rise, which, unless you have the perfect lidded vessel, can result in a ciabatta shaped loaf. but look at the texture of the bread. holey smoke! holes. lots of holes. almost as many holes in that loaf as in (according to the stepmother) my gun-totin' pappy's underwear. now them there's a whole heap o' holes.

so on to the recipe. i've also provided a link to bryanna clark grogan's blog here where you can find step by step pictures of the process and the citation for the original recipe souce.

just in case you were wondering, the hell-worm is growing monstrously huge, of sumo proportions, and developing the lung power of the landlady in kung fu hustle.

no knead bread
3 cups unbleached flour
¼ teaspoon instant yeast, or 1/3 teaspoon regular dry active yeast
2 teaspoons salt
cornmeal for dusting

combine flour, yeast and salt in a large bowl.add 1 ½ cups water and mix until blended. cover bowl with plastic wrap and let rest for 12-18 hours at about 70 degrees (you can do this inside your oven if you have a pilot light, otherwise, just pick the warmest spot in your kitchen-but i just stuck mine on the cold counter for the max amount of time). after 2-18 hours the surface should be dotted with bubbles. place the dough on a floured surface and fold it a few times. cover and let rest for another 15 minutes, then shape into a ball. the dough will be very sticky, use just enough flour to prevent it from sticking to your hands. coat a cotton kitchen towel with cornmeal and place ball seamside down, sprinkling top with more cornmeal. cover with another towel and let rise for 2 hours or until doubled. preheat oven to 450 with a 6-8 quart heavy covered (cast iron, enamel, pyrex or ceramic) lidded pot for 30 minutes. remove hot pot from oven and place dough into pot. cover with lid and bake for 30 minutes. remove lid and continue to bake for 15-30 minutes until browned.

chocolate almond cookies

2007-04-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

these are the dreaded "trucker ass" cookies that have been sustaining me throughout these long days and nights of servitude. the Worm is a harsh master. there is much about this breeding thing they don't mention. and some of the things they do mention are lies, fabrications, and straight up fantasies. to be nice, lets just call them myths. myth 1: babies smell good. no way. at least mine doesn't. she stinks. she smells like pooh and vomit and urine and that gross powdery diaper smell. and she also smells like cheese. breastmilkcheese. drooling like a giant, unkempt shaggy dog the milk dribbles and gushes out the mouth into the fatty neck folds where it turns into cheese. breastmilkneckcheese. and it stinks. myth 2: babies are cute. okay, maybe they get cuter as they get older, but newborns are not cute. misshapen blobs of undifferentiated flesh, to the untrained eye, they look pretty much all alike. and that something is an unholy cross pollination between carl malden and archie bunker. having said that, there does seem to be a hardwired switch in the brain that makes you think yours really is cute. or sweet. or at least not totally repulsive. at least not until the infant acne pops out. yep, infant acne. never heard of it? another little thing they don't tell you. they say 40% of babies get it. needless to say, the Worm is in that silent 40% and is giving us a preview of adolescent delights to come.

okay, before you call child protective services, let me just say that i like my Worm just fine, despite the stink, the lack of sleep, the rotten neck cheese, the high-velocity-face-spraying feces, the inexpicable crying jags, zits and all...

so back to my ass-expanding buddies. these cookies are based on the double chocolate almond explosion cookies from vive le vegan. when cooked properly they have a crisp exterior and an ever so slightly chewy interior delivering a good chocolate flavor without being too sweet. the toasted almonds lend an interesting deviation from the expected. my modifications included increasing the amount and type of almonds (chopped in lieu of slivered), omitting almond extract ('cause i don't have any), and fiddling with the wet/dry ratio. i found that the original recipe was too dry and i had to add a bit of water to make it mixable. in the rendition below i decreased the amount of flour instead of adding additional liquid - it may still seem to be on the dry side but it will work out, i promise. also, if you have any black cocoa on hand, swap out 2 Tablespoons of the regular stuff for the black stuff. it will make them taste a little bit more like oreo cookies.

if you're interested in the unadulterated recipe, or if you're just in the market for a new vegan cookbook, i recommend picking up a copy of vive le vegan. the recipes are simple, kid friendly (if that's of any concern to you) and pretty easy to put together. because many of the recipes look so simple, i was initially skeptical, but those that i've tried have, for the most part, delivered (scalloped potatoes, anyone?). even such simple recipes as tomato lentil pasta sauce, a dish i've been improvising for years, has a depth of flavor that belies it's simplicity. so without further ado, here is my version of the chocolate almond explosion cookies.

chocolate almond cookies
3/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder (2 T. dutch processed, 2 T. black cocoa, if you have it)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/3 cup chopped toasted almonds
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup canola oil

preheat oven to 350 f. sift together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and baking powder. mix in the almonds, chocolate chips, and salt. in another bowl combine the wet ingredients (and sugar) and whisk until well blended. add wet mixture to dry mixture and stir until just combined. the batter will be a bit thick, almost like a loose dough. roll dough out into little balls and flatten onto a parchment lined baking sheet. to help minimize the dough from sticking to your hands, moisten them prior to rolling and pressing. bake for about 11 minutes and cool on a rack. then, as suggested by a commentor to my last post, go out and buy a truck to go along with the ass. or, more likely, to haul it around.

bun out of the oven

2007-03-26T14:10:00.000-07:00

well folks, the satanic worm has finally emerged. after not so patiently hauling the freeloader around in my ever growing trucker gut for more than 42 weeks, eviction papers were served and she was escorted out with the aid of a pitocin drip. as you might be able to discern from the photo (i promise i will not subject you to family vacation slideshows next), she was none to happy to be kicked out. why do all babies look like drunken garden gnomes when they're not looking like evil feed tubes?

so far, this has been the longest four weeks of my life. i am substituting cookies for sleep, which is a good thing for you all since i stumbled upon one of the best vegan chocolate chocolate chip cookie recipes i've come across yet. less of a good thing for my ever expanding trucker ass.

chickpea and tomato soup

2007-01-31T21:38:00.000-08:00

deborah madison, who else?

rich, tangy, sweet, hearty and steaming hot, i love this soup. comfort in a ladle. and if there is anything i'm craving these days, it's comfort. i'm sure that once the screaming diaper machine arrives i will look back upon on these small-bladder-big-gut days with a nostalgic yearning. but the sleep depriver does not seem to be ready yet. it is too busy copping a free-ride and practicing amateur karate moves in the rent-free security of my poor distended entrails, probably sharpening the edges of it's ever expanding cranium into a perfect, four pointed square. this whole freaky science experiment is almost over (or is it just about to begin?), and let me tell you that i've remained myself throughout. no starry-eyed, belly-rubbing cooing. no annoying "miracle" talk. no bouts of sentimental weeping. none of it. no siree. knocked up, undeniably. hormonally demented, thankfully no.

i've not been posting very much because somehow food has just not been as, um, seductive to me as it usually is. energy is being drained from the host to sustain the alien within and, what with the flames of hell leaping up my throat at the mere sight of a bottle of hot sauce, well, eating just doesn't seem to be half the fun it used to be.

but this soup. this is something good. a nutrient and fiber filled meal in a bowl that only tastes better the longer it lingers in the refrigerator. it is just what the doctor ordered. the recipe calls for lentil or ful. i had neither so i omitted them. very tasty anyway.

spicy chickpea and tomato soup
olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon freshly toasted and ground cumin seeds
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon tumeric
2 carrots, chopped
1 celery rib, diced
1 cup diced winter squash (butternut, etc.)
2 Tablespoons each chopped parsley and cilantro
1 28 oz. can of diced tomatoes
1 15 oz. can chickpeas, drained
1 15 oz. can ful medames or 1 cup cooked lentils
1 cup skinny noodles, cooked in salted water and drained

slowly saute the diced onion and spices in a lightly oiled soup pot (i usually do this bit in a non-sticky frying pan) and cook until softened. add the rest of the vegetables and continue to cook for about 10 minutes. at this point you can transfer the vegetable into a soup pot with the tomatoes (and the juices), chickpeas, ful/lentils and enough water to thin the soup out a bit. depending on whether the tomatoes came in a tomato sauce or thinner juice base, you may need more/less water. because my tomatoes were canned in sauce, i added 4-5 cups water to get it to a consistency to my liking. simmer for at least 20-30 minutes and season with salt and pepper. at the end add in the cooked noodles, parsley/cilantro and adjust seasonings to taste.

vegan cinnamon rolls

2006-12-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

you might notice that these babies look dry. dry as in unglazed, ungooey, unadorned, bare-bottom-nekkid. this is not a mistake, i like 'em that way. i like my cinnamon rolls like my humor, my sunday afternoons, my martinis and my socks...dry. but i know i'm a bit of a freak that way, and if you prefer, nothing could be easier than to whip up a bit of glaze (powdered sugar mixed with a bit of soymilk, or heck, even water if times are lean) and drizzle lightly over the top after baking. if you really dig the tooth enamel melting gnarliness of a sea of somewhat pornographic cinnabon white ooze, you may need to supplement this recipe with an appropriate "topping" recipe.

i whipped up a batch of these soul-soothing rings of spicy goodness to break in an unexpected housewarming gift from the not-so-wicked (but don't tell her that!) stepmother of a kitchen aid stand mixer (in tangerine, no less). the recipe i found somewhere on the internet ( i can't remember where and so cannot credit the original source) but had some problems with the dough. did i mention that my clumsy, non-baking paws tend to de-activate the most vigorous of yeasts? i followed the instructions exactly but the dough was too dry. not dry in a good way, but dry in a bad, overcooked slab of cheap steak way. i ended up adding water until the dough felt "right" and waited for the worst. the result was the miracle of miracles...i experienced a rare baking success. slightly sweet, light and airy, the rolls were perfect. they were so good i made them again the following weekend and the second time around they were not so very light. still with a good flavor they were a bit dense. despite the margarine and white flour they had the mouthfeel of "health food". the only major difference between the two attempts was that i rose the dough overnight in the refrigerator the first time, the second time around i was a bit rushed for time and tried to rush the process by putting it in a slightly warmed oven to rise. it is also possible that, in a tangerine-induced-dough-hook-wielding euphoria, i may have over worked the dough a bit, second-time around. if any of you bakers out there see something out of whack in the recipe, let me know. i live to learn.

and because rain is forecast for the entire weekend, i plan to make these again. this time with a slightly shorter knead time and an overnight rise. a hot cup of tea, a steaming cinnamon roll, rain pelting the windows, furry black cat coiled and purring in lap, what could be better first thing on a saturday morning?

cinnamon rolls
2 1/2 teaspoons yeast
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup soymilk, warmed
2 egg ener g egg replacers (equivalent of 2 eggs)
1/2 cup earthbalance non-hydrogenated margarine, melted (or 1/4 c margarine-1/4 c shortening)
4 cups all purpose flour
1 teasoon salt
cinnamon and brown sugar

dissolve the yeast and sugar in the lukewarm soymilk and let stand until frothy. combine the reconstituted egg replacer, melted margarine and add to yeast mixture. add flour and salt and knead for 5-10 minutes, until the dough gets a smooth and satiny texture. you may need to add a bit of extra water or flour to get the right consistency. the original recipe called for 4 1/2 cups flour but it was way too dry - i had to add quite a bit of extra water (maybe up to 1/2 cup?).

place a damp towel over the bowl and allow to rise until doubled. once doubled, remove from bowl and place on a floured surface. roll or stretch the dough into a 6 x 21 rectangle. lightly brush the surface with melted margarine and sprinkle generously with cinnamon sugar mixture. roll the dough into a log shape (starting from the narrower edge) and cut into 12 pieces. lightly grease a 9 x 13 baking pan and arrange the slices cut sides up. let rise again in a warm spot for at least 30 minutes, or cover with plastic wrap and allow to sit in the refrigerator over night. bake at 400 for about 15 minutes. drizzle with glaze if desired.

breasts of tofu

2006-10-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

breast of tofu. a somewhat titillating title. it has a certain ring to it, a certain je ne sais quois, don't you think? breast of tofu. in my mind's eye i spy prosthetic breasts constructed of extra firm pressed tofu; mutated, chernobyl-irradiated blocks of tofu sprouting weird eye stalks and other breasticular bodyparts; ghost images of pale, flaccid, man-tittied men leisurely strolling the boardwalks, amusement parks and carnivals of this great land, licking at chocolate dipped soft ice cream cones. breast of tofu. a tasty dish indeed.

but don't let my over-active imagination scare you off, for this is a bryanna grogan recipe. and, as i'm sure you're all well aware, bryanna is nothing if not consistent in the tastes-good vegan cooking department. ignore the crass visual rambling of my hormone addled brain. i've thought about trying this out for ages but never seemed to get around to it. probably because marination is involved (yes, i know that's not a real word, but i don't care, i like it anyway). this in turn involves planning ahead. planning ahead is not my greatest strength. as you might gather from my present, um, condition.

if you allow the tofu to steep long enough, the marinade really imparts a delicious, chicken-y flavor into the tofu "meat", which can be echoed in the seasoned flour coating if you spice it up accordingly. byranna says that the tofu may be allowed to frolic in these delicious juices for up to two weeks, but after about one mere week my tofu started to dissolve. which was a little too organic for my generally antiseptic refrigerator. perhaps my tofu was already a bit long in the tooth, or not of the extra firm variety, but in any case, a day is sufficient for getting a pretty good flavor injection. you can freeze the leftover marinade for the next time (but you might want to boil it after defrosting, just to kill off any germies that might be lurking about). i served this with mashed potatoes and broccoli rabe satueed in garlic and red pepper flakes. the patties could make a good sandwich too, if there are any leftovers, which has yet to happen in my house.

breast of tofu
1 1/2 cups water
1/4 cup soy sauce
3 Tablespoons nutritional yeast flakes
2 teaspoons dried sage
1/2 teaspoon each: dried rosemary, dried thyme, onion powder
2 lbs extra firm tofu

place all ingredients except tofu in a plastic container with a tight fitting lid. slice the tofu into 1/4" thick slices and drop into the marinade. the liquid should cover all the slices. let sit in the refrigerator overnight or at least for a few hours (bryanna says this can say in the marinade for up to two weeks as long as you shake it daily). when ready to cook, dredge the slices in seasoned flour (just a bit of flour with salt, pepper, and whatever other seasoning you want). shake off excess flour and either pan fry in a bit of oil until golden on each side, or oven fry at 400 on pan sprayed, dark cookie sheets (the darker metal conducts more heat and makes for a crispier finish) until golden. this should take about 15 minutes on each side.

margarine and toasted white bread

2006-10-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

bunnyfoot has been silent for quite some time now. why, you might wonder? what is to blame for this sloth and inactivity? and has it been coupled with a disregard for personal hygine?

yes. and white bread. i blame it all on white bread. toasted. slathered with earth-balance margarine. creepy, eh? i disappeared in order to protect you all. i did it for your own good. i mean, who really wants to see post after post after post of toasted white bread? granted you can pretty it up by cutting it into cute little shapes. maybe you could even supplement the margarine with a smear of homemade jam, but at the end of the day, it's just a big, bland, fluffy cracker, lacking in culinary, nutritional and asthetic appeal. you should note that my mainstay has not been of the crusty baguette type pictured above, but, oh wonders of wonder, um, the rather infamous wonder bread.

and why has bunnyfoot been gorging on this abomination? no, not poverty. nor has my kitchen burned down. and my teeth didn't fall out either. you see, in a somewhat ironic coincidence, bunnyfoot began working at a family planning agency, and managed to get herself knocked up at the same time. there must've been something in the water cooler...

and so, to make a short story long, for the past many months the, um, the fetus has been wanting to eat toasted white bread. slathered with margarine. and i, the toast munching host, began a new job. then we four (host, fetus, feline and male) moved out of our tiny 1 bedroom apartment into more spacious digs. but to be honest, mostly i've been freaking out, dreaming of cigarettes and booze, and, um, toasting bread.

but now that i'm settled into the job, moved into the new pad and more or less resigned to a cocktail free future (the DTs have almost worn off), you'll be hearing from me more often. and just in case you were worried, fret not, for i shan't become one of those maternally-demented, estrogen-driven cooing machines whipping out strips of sears portrait studio photos, reels of home videos, and streaming u-tube clips of pooh-stained diapers at the slightest provocation. i intend to remain the same cynical, bitter little melon that i've always been.

before i get back to posting about the subject at hand, here is a little scene from a recent trip up to the great, green pacific northwest. a sweet little family nibbling on plums and grapes in my pappy's front yard.

it was real cute until one of the neighbors' kids broke out the pellet gun. ah, the country life....

pasta with raw tomato-basil-garlic sauce

2006-08-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

i don't know about you but i dream of late summer all year round. not because of the long, lazy sun-filled days (we don't get many of those during the fog and windswept chilly days of a typical san francisco "summer"), nor because of school break ('cause i've long since finished my formal book 'larnin' days and am condemned to a meanly doled out two weeks of pooled vacation/sick days off each year), nor because of the much anticipated resumption of all those beloved tv sitcoms, dramas, and reality programs ('cause let's face it, it's mostly just garbage not fit for human consumption after all). no my friends. during the dark chilly mornings of february, as i reluctantly roll my creaky joints out of bed, i dream of.....tomatoes. red. ripe. juicy. sweet. firm. fleshy. succulent. heavenly. tomatoes.

the ironic thing is that i used to HATE tomatoes. those perfect little red globes dangling seductively on perfect green little vines so prettily displayed beneath flourescent lights in the local grocery store. oh the anger and the heartbreak when it is discovered that beneath the artifice lies nothing but a pale, anemic, slimy little heart with no flavor and no remose for the hideous deception. is it any wonder that i despised those treacherous little creatures?

but then, one glorious summer, i discovered the real thing. fresh off the plant. and i couldn't believe it. beneath the not quite perfectly spherical, not quite uniformly red, not quite as cosmetically pleasing exterior was an explosion of sweet, meaty, juicy, sunshine-y flavors. since then i've shunned all out of season tomatoes, relying instead on home-canned goods plucked at their summer freshest. or at least a good brand of store bought.

and so here is a super simple, no cook recipe for a pasta sauce that showcases the vibrant flavors of late summer at their best. beautiful tomatoes, pungent garlic and sweet italian basil combined into a raw sauce that'll give you a suntan just eating it. even if it is acold, foggy and windswept san francisco type of summer.

raw tomato sauce with garlic, basil and olive oil
a pile of the ripest, juiciest, reddest roma* tomatoes you can find
a handful of fresh, sweet italian basil, chopped
a good glug of lusty, fruity extra-virgin olive oil
at least a few cloves of raw garlic, minced
salt and pepper to taste
a smattering of diced kalamata olives, if you fancy 'em

coarsely chop the roma tomatoes into large chunks, removing seeds and placing in a colander. lightly salt the tomatoes and allow the juices to drain out a bit. after the tomatoes have expelled a bit of their juices, place in a blender or food processor with the minced garlic and chopped basil and pulse a few times until just a bit of texture remains. add a few glugs of olive oil and salt to taste. remove from blender and toss with cooked pasta (angel hair pasta and ravioli work particulary well with this sauce) and kalamata olives (if using).

*use romas if you can find them. they have the lowest water content and will produce a sauce that is less, um, watery with a more concentrated tomato flavor.

brandied cherries

2006-08-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

sorry for the long silence but bunnyfoot has entered the zone. no, not the zone diet, nothing quite that terrible. bunnyfoot has entered the canning zone.

i have a real-love hate relationship with canning. all those hours of long, hot, hard work over boiling water, scaldingly hot glass jars, the messy and tedious skinning of fruit and tomatoes, and the deep-seated suspicion that, despite my most anal precautions, any one of those festive-seeming jars could harbor the dreaded mr. botchulism in it's treacherous little heat-processed heart. but the love. ahhh the love. my heart goes pitter-patter when i hear those lids make that little popping sound as they seal...like a kitchen full of crickets. and on those dark, cold, rainy, winter days when i crack open a jar of summer-fresh, blazingly red, sweet-sweet tomatoes, i can feel the warm sunshine on my face and i actually reminisce fondly of these dog days of canning. and so i can. i can all i can stand. i can all summer long. and when i can i usually want to get out of the kitchen as quickly and as frequently as possible. which means indian takeout and not much bunnyfooting around. so my apologies for the silence, but you see, i couldn't really help it...

having already stashed away a rainbow of jams, i'm rolling up my sleeves in preparation for the dreaded tomato: tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, whole peeled tomatoes, who knows, maybe i'll even put down a few jars of salsa this year...

but this post is dedicated to the first of the summer's canning projects: brandied cherries. i must be honest with you, these did not quite turn out as i'd hoped. firstly, i was too lazy to pit the cherries. secondly, the heating of the fruit combined with the hot water bath made for a rather, um, soft, one might say flaccid, product. however they have tremendous potential as a brandied cherry sauce for vanilla ice cream or as a flavoring for mixed cocktails. would i make them again? hmmm, ask me in the dead of winter....

brandied cherries
6 lbs. dark, sweet cherries
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 1/4 cup brandy

wash and pit the cherries, set aside. bring to a boil the sugar, water and lemon juice, then add fruit and reduce to a simmer, continuing to cook until cherries are hot. remove from heat and add brandy. pack cherries into hot, sterilized jars leaving about 1/2" headspace. ladle hot syrup to fill jars up to about 1/4" of the rim. remove airbubble (i do this by tapping the jar on the counter), clean rim, seal and process in a hot water bath for about 10 minutes. this should make about 6 pints.

low-fat fudge brownies

2006-07-05T08:37:00.000-07:00

this is the last post i'll do from fran costigan's more great good dairy-free desserts for a little while. if this recipe doesn't convince you to put this book on your amazon wish list, then nothing will. these are the ultimate brownies: moist, dense, chocolately and rich with that bad-for-you taste, but with just 3 scant Tablespoons of oil greasing up the works (the rest being replaced by high fiber prune puree) you don't need to feel guilty about having one. or maybe two.

super fudge low fat brownies
3/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 cup unbleached white flour
2 Tablespoons arrowroot
1 cup dutch processed cocoa powder
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup unbleached white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 Tablespoons canola oil
1 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup prune puree***
2 Tablespoons water
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/3 cup walnuts, toasted and chopped

Preheat oven to 350 and oil a 9 x 9 square pan. measure out all dry ingredients (up until the canola oil) and sift into a bowl. using a wire whisk give it sifted ingredients a few taps until everything in combined. in another bowl whisk the wet ingreients (oil through to the vanilla) and whisk until well blended. pour dry into the wet and stir until smooth. add walnuts and chocolate chips. bake at 350 for 17-18 minutes or until the sides have begun to pull away from the pan and the top looks dry. a toothpick inserted into the center should be coated with moist cake but not be gummy. the brownies will firm as they chill. when done, remove from oven and let cool to room temperature. cover with plastic wrap and place in refrigerator until ready to cut.

***prune puree: place 1 cup pitted prunes into a bowl and cover with 1 cup minus 1 Tablespoon boiling water for 15 - 30 minutes, until the prunes are soft. dump the water and prunes into a blender and puress until completely smooth, adding a bit of extra water if necessary.

vanilla wafer cookies

2006-06-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

here is another one from fran costigan’s more great good dairy-free desserts, these little cookies are similar to animal crackers or arrowroot biscuits but with a strong vanilla kick. the texture is firm and perfect for dipping into a cup of tea or coffee. although the recipe states that the dough may be a bit sticky, i found that mine was firm enough to roll out and cut without chilling…perhaps because i reduced the amount of oil. now all i have to do is find myself some little itty bitty animal shaped cookie cutters...

vanilla wafer cookies
3/4 cup unbleached white flour
1/4 cup arrowroot powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
pinch of salt
3 Tablespoons canola oil (i reduced this to 2 T. and added 1 T. soymilk)
3 Tablespoons maple syrup
2 Tablespoons vanilla extract
sugar for sprinkling, if desired

sift the dry ingredients together and set aside. in another bowl, whisk the oil, maple syrup and vanilla until well blended. pour the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix with a wooden spoon or spatula until a shiny dough forms. the dough should be a little wet. add a few drops of soymilk or water if the consistency is crumbly or too dry. roll the dough out into two disks, wrap in plastic and refrigerate until firm (a few hours in the refrigerator or less time in the freezer). preheat oven to 350. between two pieces of parchment paper, roll out the dough to about 1/4" thick and, using a cookie cutter, cut into the shapes of your choice. if you are choosing to sprinkle your cookies with sugar, now is the time to do it. on a plate, sprinkle some sugar and press each cut cookie into the sugar before placing on a non-stick cookie sheet. if at any time the dough becomes too soft to work with place it in the freezer until it firms up again. bake for 8-10 minutes.

quinoa, corn and spinach chowder

2006-06-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

in the middle of the night, in the middle of the week, smack in the middle of a bout of insomnia, i…. went shopping. clad only in paint-stained sweats, holy sweater and bunny slippers, i ......went online. i logged onto……amazon……and emptied my wish list……..straight into my shopping cart. and then, with matted hair, wild eyes, bad breath and ratty clothes, i shuffled my once pink now brown little one eyed bunnies down the cyber aisle, and…….checked out.

a few days later i was awoken from a fitful mid afternoon nap to the bing-bonging of my front doorbell. as i peered through the peephole i realized just what i had done……that my hazy recollection of a fantastical midnight shopping spree was not a sleep-deprived delusion and had materialized into a brown-clad, ups-emblazoned, brawny young man at my front gate. gleefully i ripped open the monstrous box, littered the tiny living room floor of my tiny little apartment and……rolled around on a mountain of new books. i snapped the spines, dog eared the pages, and warmly welcomed them home. buried in this cornucopia of fallen trees was deborah madison’s newish book, vegetable soups from deborah madison's kitchen.

since rediscovering vegetarian cooking for everyone I’ve become a big fan of the big DM. she has an interesting and light touch with flavor combinations which, for the most part, work beautifully. i also love soups. soup is my favorite food, hands down (well, maybe one hand down because the other hand will invariably find itself insided a bag of salty chips). i was a little skeptical about this recipe because of the quinoa. i know all the rap about this little grain who could, but somehow it just never floats my boat. regardless of how i cook it and how i season it, there is something, well, boring about it. but i had some quinoa on hand, some fresh white corn, a few butter gold potatoes, and a wrinkled jalapeno pepper that needed to be put out of its misery, and so i gave it a shot. and once again DM surprised me. i love this soup. the quinoa makes this soup hearty without being heavy and the fluffy little grains look so pretty floating around the bowl. the corn adds textural interest as it’s not overly cooked, providing a bit of snap, crunch and sugar sweetness into each mouthful. the only major modifications i made were to omit all dairy and egg products, add some diced carrots for color, and use a vegetable stock (actually knorr vegetarian vegetable bouillon cubes). because i omitted the cheese i added a few squeezes of lemon juice to brighten things up a bit. i've put the egg and dairy options in the recipe, but you don't need it, really!

quinoa, corn and spinach chowder
3/4 cup quinoa, rinsed under running water
7 cups water/stock
2 ears of corn, shucked
1 carrot, diced
2 Tablespoons olive oil (optional)
1+ cloves garlic, minced
1 jalapeno chile, diced and seeded (leave some seeds if you want it hotter)
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
salt and pepper
2 waxy potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/4" cubes
1 bunch of spinach
3 scallions, minced
1/3 cup chopped cilantro leaves
lemon juice to taste
1/4 lb. feta cheese, cubed (optional)
1 hard boiled egg, chopped (optional)

simmer the quinoa in 7 cups of water or stock for about 10 minutes. if using water you will probably want to add some cubed stock or bouillon later to give the dish some body. drain and reserve the cooking liquid. while the quinoa is cooking, cut the kernals off two cobs of corn. then using the flat edge of the knife scrape those last little juicy bits off the ear into the bowl with the kernals. if you are using the oil, heat the oil in a 3 quart saucepan and cook the garlic and chile for about 30 seconds, then add the cumin salt and potatoes. add 6 cups of reserved quinoa cooking water, quinoa and simmer for 15 minutes. add corn. turn off heat and stir in spinach, cheese (if using) and scallions. just before serving mix in egg (optional) and cilantro. if you are not using the oil or the dairy ingredients, just place all of the reserved cooking water in a pot (again, if you used water to cook your quinoa you will want to add some bouillon now) with the potatoes and quinoa and simmer 15 minutes. then add corn, spinach and scallions. adjust seasonings with salt, freshly ground black pepper and a few squeezes of lemon juice to taste.

or the non vegan version as it appears in her book, add 1/4 lb. cubed feta cheese and 1 peeled and diced hardboiled egg.

the dreaded loaf

2006-06-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

uh oh, it's the dreaded loaf. that dense and tasteless symbol of seventies ascetic vegetarianism. that barely cohesive mound of mushy lentils and carrots masquerading as meatloaf. scarred by early encounters with these hippie loaves i've pretty much avoided the grain/nut/seed bread-shaped monstrosity, primarily due to an underlying fear that i might spontaneously sprout excessive facial hair, pervasive, plastic-melting b.o. and grow birkenstocks out of the soles of my dead-head tappin' bare feet. however, after some consideration and a thorough waxing, i realized that there is great potential in a loaf. why, one of my all-time favorite dishes, the almighty stuffing, and more recently, the very tasty vegan haggis are nothing more than un-shaped loaf fillings. that is how it dawned on me that loaves don't have to be bland. or mushy. or full of seeds, brambles and bragg's liquid aminos. they can be bursting with flavors and textures. they can be spicy. with nary a gum-stabbing twig in sight.

and so i stumbled up the magical loaf studio over at vegan lunchbox. based on the seventh-day adventists formula for creating loaves, you simply plug in you selections from a variety of items, hit "calculate" and voila, out pops your own personal loaf. no potty humour intended.

that is my little loaf pictured above. isn't it cute? and yes, that is a lentil you see poking its baby-pooh colored head out. despite my earlier slagging of the great and mighty lentil, i did choose to have him star in my loaf, along with damp-doggy smelling buckwheat. i omitted seeds and nuts and threw in some spicy cajun seasoning instead. the result? well, it was a loaf. it held together. it was kinda spicy. it was very earthy (a bit too earthy, actually). slathered with ketchup glaze on the top, it paired very nicely with mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli.

would i make this particular combination again? um, no. i felt that the buckwheat overpowered the other ingredients. i will, however, return to the loaf studio and try out some other combinations. loaves are fun. loaves can taste good. even if they may grow hair on your chest.

carrot cake

2006-06-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

i have never been much of a fan of carrot cake. the café versions i’ve sampled have been dense, greasy and slathered with enough cream cheese frosting to pop you up a pants size just by fingering it through its scratched and dull plexiglass case. having said this, i love both carrots and spice cakes. from fran costigans more great good dairy-free desserts, this cake fulfills almost all my criteria for a good cake, vegan or otherwise. it is moist without being gummy, rich-tasting without being greasy, sweet without making my teeth tingle, and light in texture. i reduced the oil in the original recipe by half with excellent results. aside from being less oily to the touch, the texture and flavor were identical to a batch made with the full amount. more great good dairy free desserts and it predecessor, great good desserts naturally, focus on the use of less refined ingredients. this carrot cake, for example uses no refined white sugar but is sweetened with real maple syrup, orange juice and raisins. sounds kinda hippy-birkenstock-crunchy but it doesn’t taste that way. so far I’ve tried only one other recipe from this book, vanilla wafer cookies, which uses a combination of arrowroot powder and unbleached white flour and again is sweetened with only a touch of maple syrup. they are reminiscent of a cross between animal crackers and nilla wafers. cut into tiny little shapes (about 1” x 1”) they are perfect for dipping into a cup of tea. and then there is this nocturnal-emission-inducing coconut cloud layer cake that i’m eyeing with a lust of biblical proportions. as for the frosting, i just slapped together a very basic buttercream to fix the two layers together. consisting of non-hydrogenated margarine (earth balance), soymilk, powdered sugar and a few drops of vanilla it’s not very good for you, and to be frank, not all that spectacular tasting so i’m not going to post it. i’m still looking for that fluffy, not too sweet, delicious frosting of my dreams so it anyone out there has one, please share!

24 karrot cake
1/2 cup raisins
1/3 cup orange juice
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 cup unbleached white flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon cloves
1/4 cup canola oil (i reduced this amount to 2 Tablespoons)
1 cup +2 Tablespoons maple syrup
1/2 cup soy or rice milk
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon orange extract
2 cups peeled & grated carrots

preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare two 8 inch round cake pans or line cup cake tins with paper liner. if using cake pans, line the bottoms with parchment paper and grease and flour the sides (or use a baking spray). for cupcakes, a quick shot of pan spray inside the liners will help avoid sticking. soak the raisins in the orange juice for about 10 minutes. drain the raisins and reserve the orange juice. if you are in a hurry you can put them in the microwave for 3 minutes or so to encourage rehydration. sift the dry ingredients in a bowl and set aside. in another larger mixing bowl measure out the oil, maple syrup, soymilk, vinegar, vanilla and orange extracts, plus the orange juice from soaking the raisins. pour dry ingredients into wet and whisk until blended. fold in the carrots and raisins. pour into cake or cupcake tins and bake for 30-35 minutes (cakes) or 20 minutes (cupcakes). cool for 10 minutes and remove from tins.

ceasar salad

2006-06-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

here is a super simple recipe for a vegan ceasar salad dressing. the dressing is bright from the lemon juice, pungent from the garlic, fruity from the olive oil and delivers a good kick complements of the freshly ground black pepper. just a tablespoon of vegannaise gives it just a touch of creaminess without making it cloying or overly heavy. if you're looking for a silken tofu type dressing you've come to the wrong place. although i love tofu in all its various guises, i just cannot get over that chalky taste of asceptically packaged silken tofu. it just seems to power on through even the most agressive of seasonings. except of course chocolate. but then you could probably cover chicken droppings with a nice, thick coating of bittersweet chocolate and i'd find it perfectly acceptable...

ceasar salad dressing
2 cloves garlic
1/2 - 1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
½ teaspoon dijon mustard
1 Tablespoon vegannaise
1/3 cup olive oil
dash of vegetarian worcestershire sauce (optional)
a few sprinkles of kelp powder (optional)

put garlic through a press and mash with mustard, salt, pepper, and worcestershire sauce. add vegannaise and olive oil. adjust seasonings to taste and pour over romaine lettuce. top with croutons.

steamed mushroom dumplings

2006-05-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

dumplings, ravioli, potstickers, gyoza, spring rolls, summer rolls, tootsie rolls, i don't care what you call them, i just love little packets stuffed with minced bits of things, but i really don't eat them very often. they're frequently stuffed with mr. tasty pig, or ms. tangy cheese and when they're not, they've often had intimate realtions with a deepfryer leading to a delicious state of being that i appreciate but know better than to indulge in too frequently. sigh, it is a sad but very real state of affairs that the older you get, the less you can get away with in terms of reprecussion-free overindulgence. but there is a silver lining on every cloud, and i eagerly anticipate ascending my throne of cane-waving, male-nurse-bum pinching, triple plaid-wearing, cranky-old-lady-dom.

so i wanted dumplings. i wanted steamed dumplings. and these are what i made. the filling is quite tasty with a lot of rich tasting mushrooms and a good lively kick of ginger. the original recipe (which i can't credit because i've totally altered it and don't remember where i found it anyway) says to put the filling in raw, but i cooked everything down first, except the green onion, ginger and rice wine vinegar. these are about as tasty as meat and msg-free dumplings get, although i will be the first to admit that they do not give mr. swine much competition in the taste department. if memory serves correctly. but they're fun (okay, maybe tedious is more the word) to make and if you're a vegetarian they might be one of the only ways to get yourselves a truly vegetarian potsticker.

mushroom dumplings
3 cups finely shredded cabbage, napa or green
4-5 good sized dried shitake mushrooms (reconstituted = 1/2 cup diced)
1 cup minced fresh button mushrooms
2 Tablespoons finley minced shallots or onion
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
2 teaspoons ginger, minced
2 Tablespoons green onion, diced
1-2 teaspoons rice wine vinegar, to taste
salt and pepper, to taste
24 egg free gyoza wrappers

saute everything except the ginger, green onion and rice wine vinegar until soft. remove from heat and mix in the remaining ingredients. adjust seasoning to taste. set aside to cool. lay out a gyoza wrapper and place one scant teaspoon full in the center. run a damp finger around half the outer edge of the wrapper and fold over, pinching the seams together as snugly around the filling as possible. you can crimp the edges like a fluted pie crust if you like. set aside and continue with the rest of the dumplings. when they are all constructed, bring a pot of water to a boil and place a steamer basket inside. grease or pan spray the insert to prevent sticking and lay the dumplings in one at a time so that they do not overlap. cover and steam for 10 - 15 minutes per batch. serve with ponzu or the dipping sauce of your choice. i usually throw together a sauce made of equal parts rice wine vinegar, soy sauce, a few drops of sesame oil and a squirt of sriracha.

weekend cat blogging #50: springtime ode to a bud

2006-05-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

bud. aka "the enforcer". aka "budmeister general". aka "sir".

i would like you all to meet bud. or, alternately, sir. many, many suns ago this bad boy was rescued when he was just small enough to fit into the somewhat mannish and freakishly large palm of my stepmother's hand. sporting an early-spring bud-like manx tail, he was christened "bud".

despite his tiny stature and lack of that most expressive of feline accoutrements, bud quickly became became the alpha dog, general disciplinarian and enforcer of good manners amongst the existing herd of three giant shepherds. throughout the years as more cats have wandered off the remote rural road, freshly abandoned by their "loving" owners, bud's role in the household has expanded to breaking in the new feline recruits. one cross eyed look, false lunge, or flash of an incisor directed toward one of his feline flock and the foolish canine quickly learns just how sharp a cat's claws can be. these days when bud, old man that he has become, is sprawled in the center of the floor, upside down, legs spread, snoring and farting in a mushroom cloud of bad breath, the now ancient and arthritic curs steer a wide berth.

bud
clownish canine courtly
wakes in dreams of sleeping

red bean gumbo

2006-05-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

kidney bean
bathing in fluorescent light
surf and turf twelve-ninety-nine
i dream of sizzler

kidney beans. white mushy paste held together by a tough and flavorless red skin. the kind that gets caught in your teeth and gums making for that oh-so-flattering, banjo-picking, first-cousin-courtin', mash-distillin', blacktoothed-hillbilly look. kidney beans. they make me think of cheap salad bars and tin cans. it's strange that i've always had such contempt for this innocuous little fellow because i love beans. with this one exception i don't think i've ever met a bean that me and my ever-ready jar of beano didn't like.

well imagine my surprise on that fateful day when i bypassed tin can alley and cooked up a batch from the real, dried, organic, kidney-shaped thing. what a revelation! neither starchy nor mushy but with a meltingly tender interior held in a firm yet gentle embrace by this smooth, taut, beautiful expanse of maroon skin. kidney bean, i apologize. it was not your fault that your sensitive nature was not strong enough to stand up against the cold and brutal world of mass production, saline injections and tin entombment.

if you have the opportunity i encourage you to experiment with cooking your own beans at home. with a pressure cooker and the addition of salt in the cooking water, you and your trusty can of beano can also come a little closer to the divine spirit of legume.

onto today's recipe from deborah madison's vegetarian cooking for everyone is red bean gumbo with greens. this is a simple tasting dish that sports a lovely rich and nutty roux base that is just hearty enough to stand up against the somewhat assertive beans and greens. with bell peppers, greens, beans, onions, celery and garlic it has a lot of heart-healthy goodness going for it. this is one of those dishes that tastes better the next day once the flavors have a chance to meld, or as we like to put it in our house, "once it gets a little rotty".

red bean gumbo with greens
2-3 large bunches of assorted greens (mustard, turnip, collards, kale, etc.)
1/3 cup oil
6 Tablespoons flour
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme
1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 Tablespoon paprika
2 bay leaves
3/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 large onions, chopped
2 bell peppers, cut into 1/2" pieces (any color but red is prettiest)
3 stalks of celery, chopped
5 garlic cloves, minced
3 cups cooked red kidney beans
2 quarts stock or reserved greens cooking water or reserved bean cooking water

thoroughly wash the greens in several changes of water to get rid of any sand and dirt and chop horizontally into 1/4" - 1/2" slices. you may remove and discard the really tough parts of the stems but i like to use as much of the plant as i can. bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and cook the greens for about 10 minutes or until they're tender (this will depend on the type and age of your greens). drain and reserve some of the cooking water for later.

and now the roux. in a wide and heavy pot or skillet heat the oil over medium high. whisk in the flour and stir constantly with a wooden spoon until the mixture is a dark reddish brown. this is probably gonna take a little while, maybe 10-15 minutes or more. do not skimp on this step as it adds the characteristic, deep, rich, velvety gumbo flavor. if you are trying to avoid oil you can use bryanna grogan's "browned flour" method of thickening which is to brown the flour in a hot, dry non-stick pan and stir over a medium flame until the flour is browned. mix the browned flour with a little water (to avoid clumping) and add to the stock. once boiled this will thicken the sauce and provide a bit of a toasty flavor to the dish. i highly recommend using the oil in this particular dish as it really adds a great flavor. if you want to reduce the oil do so to only 1/4 cup, no less, as the roux will get too thick to properly stir beyond that point. the instructions then say to stir in the seasons and vegetables before adding the 2 quarts of reserved greens cooking water (or reserved bean cooking water) or stock directly into your pot. i usually make my roux in a saucepan and add the water directly into the pan, whisking like crazy to make sure all the clumps come out. then i place the vegetables, seasonings, thinned out roux, beans and greens all together in a pot and simmer for 30 minutes or so.

after 30-40 minutes begin adjusting for seasonings. i usually have to add quite a bit more salt, red pepper, thyme and onion powder to get the flavors up to where i like them. for me this recipe takes a bit of fiddling to get the flavors just so but then again i have a somewhat brutish and lazy palate.

graham crackers

2006-05-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

"cute" shape

crackers. not the trucker-hat-wearing, acid-washed-levis sportin', trailer-dwelling, shotgun toting, mulleted kind, but the other, tastier, much more edible type.

i didn't think people really made crackers. so thin, so crispy, so cute and usually so little, i figured this was a task reserved soley for the miniature and dexterous hands of the keebler elves. with a pair of size fourteen man-hands i was fit only for drop cookies and dumplings.

but then i saw this recipe for graham crackers from nic over at bakingsheet. it didn't sound too terribly difficult and to my knowledge she is a mere mortal. so i gave it a whirl and you know what, they turned out great. i mean, they actually tasted like graham crackers. and the ones that i used a cookie cutter on turned out so very cute. little hearts. little gingerbread man shapes. little bunnyrabbits. the ones i free-handed into the more traditional rectangular shapes were a bit less pleasing to the eye. not quite as uniform...some, inadvertently stretched the boundaries of the definition of a rectangle. rectacylindriconal, more like.

traditional graham cracker recipes require the use of graham flour, a somewhat obscure and difficult item to find. graham flour was invented by sylvester graham a minister and advocate of vegetarianism, temperance, regular bathing (!) and the use of whole grain flours. graham flour differs from whole wheat flour in that the whole grain is not ground up all at once but rather separated out into two components. the endosperm, which is the stuff of white flour is finely ground. the bran and the germ together are coarsely ground. then the two flours are mixed back together resulting in a flour that bakes well and retains a coarse and nutty texture. if you can't find graham flour, just use wheat flour as specified in the recipe. you could sprinkle a little wheat germ in there as well.

traditional shape

graham crackers
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup rye flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 /2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup earth balance margarine
2 Tablespoons agave nectar (or honey or brown rice syrup)
2 Tablespoons molasses
1/4 cup cold water
1 teaspoon vanilla
cinnamon and sugar mixture for sprinkling on top (optional)

place the flours, sugar, baking powder and soda, salt and cinnamon in a food processor and pulse a few times to blend. cut small cubes of the margarine in with the flour mixture and pulse for about another 30 seconds until the mixture looks like a coarse meal. in another bowl combine the wet ingredients and whisk until combined. pour into the flour-margarine mixture and process until the dough starts to clump. this should take less than a minute. you may need to add a bit more water since i reduced the amount of margarine in the original recipe from 1/2 cup to 1/3 cup (i added about 2 T. more water). remove dough from processor and divide into two balls. roll each ball out between two pieces of waxed paper until it is very thin (1/8") and chill until firm. this is make it easier to handle the dough when you cut the shapes and transfer to a baking sheet. i placed mine in the freezer for about 30 minutes. with a sharp knife cut the crackers into 2" squares and place on a parchment lined (or pan sprayed nonstick) baking sheet. you can also cut out cute shapes and re-roll the scrapes to make more fun shapes (re-rolling didn't appear to have any negative effect on the dough). stab the dough with a fork or toothpick to give it that characteristic graham cracker look. sprinkle with cinnamon/sugar mixture if using and bake at 350 for 15 minutes or until the edges begin to brown. cool and store in an airtight container.

haggis

2006-05-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

"i am haggis, hear me roar..."

haggis: "a scottish dish consisting of a mixture of the minced heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep or calf mixed with suet, onions, oatmeal, and seasonings and boiled in the stomach of the slaughtered animal."

now doesn't that sound good? good like a sharp stick in the eye. i suppose the first question that pops to mind is "why?!! why on earth would you want to veganize what sounds like one of the worst dishes in the world?" why indeed? perhaps a deep-rooted perversity stemming from a too early toilet training related trauma?

but i was intrigued. haggis. what a name! what a face! what a shape! it brings to mind that episode of cook's tour when tony goes to scotland and samples the local haggis. veggies, steel cut oats, herbs, really except for the gory garbage bits, it sounded pretty good. and believe it or not, there are lots of vegan recipes for haggis drifting around out there on the internet. i picked out a likely looking suspect from vegweb and, suffering from a.d.d. and unable to follow directions for more than three lines, i changed a few things. i added garlic, cause i like garlic. i omitted vegetarian "suet" (crisco, margarine, whatever) completely, cause i don't like greasy stuff. i threw in a bit more veggies and some burger crumbles, cause i like them too.

and here is the scary part. i really liked it. a lot.

this haggis is basically a nice whole-grain stuffing-like concoction baked in a casserole dish. the lentils cook down to a nice, creamy, earthy base that really work magic with the woodsy flavor of the mushrooms. the steel cut and rolled oats provide a creamy mouthfeel. the pearl barley perks things up with a slightly chewy and popping textural counterpoint. the burger crumbles (gimme lean sausage was my "crumble" of choice) adds a bit of authenticity. the minced vegetables flavor and color the grains beautifully. the vegemite imparts a really deep down rich and "beefy" note, and the herbs round out the flavor. finally, the lemon, which i added after the cooking (contrary to instructions), really brightened up the dish in a subtle yet crucial way. i imagine the addition of fresh minced parsely after cooking could also bring in a fresh note and some extra prettiness to this homey and homely dish.

the meat eater, after i begged, cajoled, prodded and threatened him with no cookies for a week, finally tasted a tiny bite. "it's surprisingly good", he said. then quickly backtracked once he saw the manical haggis-every-night-for-a-month gleam in my eye, "i mean, it's no treat or anything..." myself, i must disagree. this is a very hearty, tasty and satisfying dish in a rustic, rib-sticking, brutish, peasantish way. i thought it was a treat indeed.

for more information about the infamously mocked and maligned haggis, check out wikipedia. the entry is rife with interesting facts about haggis' history in addition to haggis-related sporting events such as haggis hurling. and don't forget to mark your calendars for burns night (january 25th), an evening to honor scotland's native son and poet, robert burns with a burns supper. from what i gather this is basically an excuse for a bunch of drunken, burns-reciting ne'er do wells, to gather 'round a haggis, make merry and have a "wee-bit-o-dram", as my friend's seventy-something year old scottish aunt used to whisper to us as she pulled out the well-worn flask from the pocket of her tattered housecoat, "ta keep ya' warm".

haggis
1/4 cup red lentils
1/4 cup barley
1/4 cup green or brown lentils
3/4 steelcut oats (eg irish oats or pinhead oats)
1/4 cup oatmeal (not instant)
2 teaspoons marmite or vegemite*
1 Tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon each (or more to taste): thyme, rosemary, onion powder and sage
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/3 cup fresh minced parsley
1-2 carrots, minced
2 cloves garlic
1 onion, minced
2 cups mushrooms, minced
1/4 (or more!) cup scotch whiskey
1 cup veggie burger crumbles of your choice** (i used gimme lean sausage)
2 cups vegetable stock or water
1/2 lemon, juiced

place lentils, barley and steel cut oats in a saucepan and cover with water by about 1/2 inch. simmer for about 20 minutes, covered, adding more water as necessary to prevent scorching. set aside. mince carrots, onion, mushrooms, parsely and garlic, or coarsely chop and whiz a few times in a food processor. throw the cooked grains, minced vegetables, and everything else into a large bowl and mix thorougly. place in a covered casserole dish and bake for 40-60 minutes at 350. check every 20 minutes or so to add more water if necessary.

* vegemite and marmite are both (contrary to urban legend) totally vegan. it has a very strong and salty flavor and i use it often in soups and stews where i want a beefy flavor. a little goes a long way so add it bit by bit. if you cannot find these products locally you may want to use a stronger, darker vegetable broth (i like better than bouillon) and/or some vegetarian worscestire sauce.

**you can omit or replace with equivalent amount of chopped walnuts

ganmodoki

2006-05-01T10:08:00.000-07:00

ganmodoki are little fritters of mashed tofu mixed with bits of vegetables, formed into balls or patties and fried until golden. a japanese dish ganmodoki are traditionally used in oden and soups. on a non-traditional note, you could form them into largish patties and use as a burger substitute. or you could eat them as is with your grubby little fingers. on that note, they would serve very well in a lunchbox or as a picnic item since they don't really need to be served hot or refrigerated and are virtually mess-free to eat.

in this version of ganmodoki, the fritters are baked and not fried. while this certainly affects the texture (there is really no substitute for a roiling, boiling, angry, hellish vat of fat) in that the fritters are not quite as fluffy and less uniformly golden, i find the baked version to be just as tasty with a satisfyingly chewy texture. you may change or alter the amounts of the filling to suit your own taste.

ganmodoki
2 -3 cups crumbled firm tofu
1/4 cup grated carrot
1/4 cup minced green onion
1/4 cup baby peas
1/4 cup reconstituted minced shitake mushrooms
2 Tablespoons grated ginger
1 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons toasted sesame seeds (optional)
2 Tablespoons reconstituted hijiki seaweed or a pinch of kelp flakes (optional)

crumble the tofu, sqeezing each handful to remove a bit of water. place in bowl with all ingredients and combine. yes, you can mash the whole mess up with your little simian hands. just don't let the guests see.... taste for seasoning. place about a tablespoon into the palm of your hand and form into a ball, then flatten the ball into a thick disc shape (you may alter the size and shape of the ganmodoki depending on how you will use it). place on a lightly oiled DARK baking sheet (the color of the sheet will aid in getting a nice brown skin) and bake at 500 for about eight minutes each side. alternately you may fry the patties in a little bit of oil until golden and crisp on each side.