The Willsea Way - Educating The Whole Child

Weight Loss Tips for Kids

2006-11-02T11:53:00.000-05:00

One of the saddest symptoms of our sedentary society is the enormous numbers of young children who are not just chubby, but frankly obese. What is also tragic is the fact that most of these kids are too young to make their own independent food and lifestyle choices. Their parents are condemning them to a life of constantly battling fat and coping with the low self-esteem that accompanies a poor body image. Most of the time, a few minor changes can make a very significant change. Try a few of these painless changes!

1) Fruit juice is very high in calories. Either run the whole fruit through a juicer or mix it half and half with club soda or seltzer.

2) Toss out or use up your unhealthy snacks and replace them with 94% fat free popcorn, low fat mozzarella sticks, nonfat yogurts and diet Jell-O.

3) Eat at home and pack lunches as much as possible. Avoid drive-through fast food like the plague. Try to cook big batches of dinner favorites and freeze them in single serve containers for quick dinners.

4) Try to plan activities that don't revolve around food. A family hike, a bike ride, a trip to the zoo are great ways to become more active. Keep it fun.

5) There is a direct correlation between obesity and television viewing. Get the television, computer, and video games out of the bedroom and put them in the living room or family room where they can be monitored.

6) When the children ask for a new video game, procrastinate and be unenthusiastic. If they ask for a trampoline, scooter or bicycle, be extremely pleased and do the best you can to provide these active toys.

7) As much as possible, let the children try any sports they want. Even if they only spend a semester trying gymnastics, tennis, figure skating, etc., it is money well spent. Think about what a gym membership would cost in comparison.

8) Be supportive and enthusiastic. Remember a child will remember the one negative comment among twenty positive comments.

9) Remember that you are buying the food and setting the example. How you view yourself will be transmitted to your children.

10) Good luck!

Cold Remedies

2006-10-30T02:20:00.000-05:00

Our summertime strengthening has given way at last, and every student and classroom teacher either has succumbed to a cold or is battling one. What can you do to lessen the effects?

Not much, except the old common sense advice of eat well, wash your hands frequently, get plenty of sleep, and drink plenty of fluids. However, a few new products have come on the market which promise to lessen the severity and duration of common colds, such as Airborne and a couple of zinc based remedies. They seem to work very well for some and have no effect on others...of course, if you firmly believe the product will work, it probably helps.

Feel free to try these new remedies, because one may do the trick for you. However, the best cure is probably one a colleague of mine shared today: simply going to bed by eight. This wise woman gets a wonderful night's sleep and gets up, relaxed and refreshed, to tackle her day. This is a terrific plan, and if you cannot follow her program, try going to bed even an hour or two earlier.

If this is impossible, maybe it is time to examine your life and see what you are valuing more than your health.

Remember that as long as your symptoms are mainly above the neck, such as a stuffy nose, you have a cold, and probably over the counter medications are fine. However, if you start to experience body aches, chills, and fever, you may be developing the flu and seeing your doctor would be wise.

Building a Better Brain

2006-10-24T01:58:00.000-04:00

Most people are aware that the human brain is made up of grey and white matter, and that the cells which the brain is made of are neurons, or nerve cells. However, many people are unaware that the brain itself has the consistency of squishy Jell-O, and is made almost entirely of protein and fat.

Whole grains and vegetables are essential for overall bodily functioning, but the brain itself is all about fat and protein. One critically important ingredient for a healthy brain are the Omega - 3 complex of fatty acids, which are most commonly found in fish.

Unfortunately, most children hate fish unless it is breaded and fried, then slathered with Mayonnaise. To make matters worse, the level of mercury contamination in our oceans has polluted many species of fish, rendering them unfit for consumption by those in their childbearing years. Finally, many people have tried to get Omega -3 fatty acids from supplements, which are usually large capsules which some adults and many children dislike.

Fortunately, Barilla and Ronzoni pasta have introduced new lines of fortified pasta which can easily be substituted for regular pasta. It is a really easy way to boost the nutritional content of your meals, while keeping them extremely kid friendly. I have tried both myself, and recommend substituting them in any recipe that calls for pasta. Enjoy!

Nail Biting

2006-10-20T00:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I received a request from a parent asking how to stop her son from biting his nails.

The only thing I could suggest was a manicure, which was not likely to appeal to her seven year old son! Soon we were flooded with suggestions, ranging from the old mainstay of occupying the child with a sugarless lozenge to the downright sadistic method of applying hot sauce!

There are also several over the counter remedies available. However, before embarking on an all out campaign to eliminate the nail biting, try to discover if this is simply a habit, which can be eliminated often by a painless process of substitution and gradual elimination, i.e., the sugarless lozenge; or if the nail biting is a symptom of a serious underlying anxiety, like school phobia or a bully.

Remember that to eliminate the symptom of a serious anxiety, the cause must be addressed. If your child is biting his or her nails because of worry about a school bully, providing plenty of sugarless lozenges will not solve the problem.

Only you can judge whether or not a nail biting habit is simply a habit, and not a symptom. Remember that things which seem minor to you may be extremely threatening to a child, such as a grumpy gym teacher or a loud disagreement with your spouse about money.

Don't be afraid to seek a school counselor's help if you think there could be an underlying problem!

Good luck!

Attendance and Graduation

2006-09-21T21:18:00.000-04:00

Many parents are at a loss when their high school student poses the question, "Hey, if I can do well on the tests, why should I have to go to school every day?"

It's a good question, and as online learning grows in popularity, it becomes even more intriguing. However, a new study released by the New York State Department of Education has revealed some very interesting statistics. Schools with a ninety-five percent or higher attendance rate have correspondingly high graduation rates. Once attendance drops below ninety-two percent, the graduation rate goes into free fall.

Finally, where student attendance is below eighty-three percent, less than thirty-five percent of the students graduate.Keep in mind that most school years are about one hundred and eighty days long. Achieving an attendance rate of ninety-five percent means being absent only nine days, which can accumulate very quickly with a bout of the flu or strep throat.

Also, some schools will tally minutes of lateness and deduct the lost time, or mark a child absent if he or she arrives after ten o'clock. Good luck!

Actions Versus Words

2006-09-15T01:51:00.000-04:00

There has been quite a bit of debate lately about teaching morals and ethics to children as part of a school curriculum. Needless to say, this is one tough issue. What values could really be considered appropriate for every single American child?

Write in and let me know what you think.

The majority of Americans have some formal religious background, which provides a framework of basic ethics. The most famous, of course, is the Ten Commandments, which has provided the foundation for most Judeo-Christian ethics. However, if religion is excluded as a basis for public school ethical instruction, can the law serve as a substitute?

What are the values that make a person a good person?

When you are around children, remember that hours of talking can be negated by the action of an instant. A child may be told repeatedly not to use bad language, but the first time they hear you cursing, you have become a hypocrite. Be honest. It is better to explain that you smoked as a teenager and had a horrible struggle to quit, than to lie and say that you would never be so stupid as to smoke.

Do not try to be morally superior to your child, because listening to a person's struggles can be the best lesson of all. Be extra careful when you are driving, because you are setting an example in an inherently dangerous situation. Every time someone indulges in road rage, it is evidence of immaturity as well as selfishness. Talk with your child about behaviors you see on the road, and possible consequences.

Autism Link to Older Dads

2006-09-08T00:44:00.000-04:00

A new study has shown a possible link between autistic spectrum disorder in children and the age of the child's father.

This is quite interesting, because there are well known concerns regarding a mother who is over thirty-five, such as a higher risk of having a child challenged by Down's syndrome or Trisomy X syndrome.

The generally accepted reason for this is because women are born with a certain number of egg cells, and as one gets older, the eggs have been exposed to more environmental factors, such as pollutants, heavy metals, etc., all of which may have a negative effect on the egg cell. Therefore, the chances of having a healthy baby decrease somewhat as a woman ages, and overall fertility rates begin to decline.

However, men create new sperm cells every seventy-two hours, so it was not thought that the age of a man could have any impact on the health of a baby. We are all aware of men who have fathered children well into their seventies, like the well-known actor Tony Randall. This study has shown that perhaps a father's age may be playing a more significant role that we had realized in many conditions, not just autistic spectrum disorder.

Finally, good-bye to the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin! Not only was he a terrific dad, husband, and conservationist, but he was also a magnificent educator. Check out "Croc Files" on Animal Planet and keep his message of love for animals alive!

Sleep Apnea in Kids

2006-08-29T02:48:00.000-04:00

Did you know that sleep disorders are being recognized at younger and younger ages in children?

I recently read an article which discussed the case of a nine year old who was suffering from sleep apnea. Although his mother knew he snored, she had no idea that he actually stopped breathing several times during the night. She only found out when they shared a hotel room on a trip to Maine, and she was terrified! Fortunately, her son's sleep apnea was solved by a tonsillectomy.

Sleep apnea is a dangerous disorder, most common among overweight men, where the person tends to stop breathing occasionally during the night. The brain then signals the person to start waking up, which then causes the person to resume breathing. Needless to say, this process seriously disrupts normal sleep patterns, and can lead to serious, even fatal consequences due to chronic exhaustion and the strain on the heart.

Unfortunately, many more children are suffering from sleep apnea today, because of the shocking rise in childhood obesity. Obesity is a major cause of sleep apnea, but a slim child can also have a hereditary predisposition to the disorder. Fortunately, today's medical professionals are much more aware of sleep apnea, and the treatment is often very simple. Generally, the child may spend a night in a sleep lab, and usually a parent can stay with the child. It involves using some noninvasive devices, like a finger clip, to monitor oxygen levels throughout the night. Curing sleep apnea usually involves using a sleep mask (CPAP)to regulate breathing.

However, some cases may require a tonsillectomy or a simple palate guard. The vast majority of cases are caused by obesity, and once this problem is addressed, the sleep apnea often stops. Sleep apnea is simply another compelling reason to get the kids away from the television and the junk food and into a healthy active lifestyle.

When to Start Babies on Cereal

2006-08-23T23:31:00.000-04:00

Many pediatricians today recommend waiting until a baby reaches six months before introducing cereal based foods, such as oatmeal, barley, and wheat.

The thinking was that by waiting for the child's digestive system to mature a little, the chance of food allergies developing was reduced. Unfortunately, a new study in the journal "Pediatrics" may prove that this strategy was actually leading to more allergies, rather than less. This well researched study actually found that infants who start eating cereal foods between four and six months are actually four times less likely to develop food allergies!

Keep in mind also that gnawing on a zwieback cracker or an unsweetened oatmeal cookie can help occupy a baby and serve as a distraction from teething pain. Remember that honey should not even be used in baking for a child under two, if you decide to make your own oatmeal cookie recipe without sugar. Try to make sure that you are only feeding your baby whole grain cereal products...you are providing the nutritional building blocks for the adult your baby will become!

The Picky Eater

2006-08-21T22:21:00.000-04:00

The previous column, which reported the confession of John Mark Karr, was written as Mr. Karr claimed to be present in the basement where Jon Benet Ramsey was killed. Until more evidence is presented, we must wait until the due process of justice takes its course.

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

What are some ways I can tempt my three year old to eat a wider variety of foods? Currently she is only interested in peanut butter and cookies.

Jocelyn from Fishkill

Dear Jocelyn,

It is perfectly normal for a small child to be choosy, and the key is to stay calm and relaxed. No child has ever starved himself or herself to death, and anorexia is not a concern at this age. Of course, consult with your pediatrician to ease your mind, then get creative.

The trick is to present a wide variety of different foods, just a couple of tablespoons of each, at each meal. For example, chop half a hard boiled egg into slices, and place in a Dixie cup in one section of a mini muffin tin. Then fill another cup with a nutritious cereal, like Cheerios, and fill a third with some diced apple or pear. Present the entire muffin tin to the child, and the child will at least try a little. Leave the tin in front of the child, and carry on with your meal. Engage in upbeat conversation, and resist the impulse to comment on every bite.

When the family meal is over, remove the muffin tin, and remember to present different choices as often as possible.Many children (and some adults) are repulsed by casseroles, stews, and basically anything where each individual food component is touching other foods or sauces. The child who rejects creamed corn will often eat whole canned kernels or popcorn.

Tiny finger foods, like a Bonbel cheese or a blueberry, is much more appealing than a grilled cheese sandwich or jam. Of course, always be very careful to serve food in sizes small enough to avoid a choking danger. Also, serving food on a special plate, with a special set of child size utensils, also makes meals more appetizing. There are also paper plates sold in dollar stores which come pre divided into three sections, featuring cartoon animals, that most children love.

Give it a try and good luck!

Jon Benet Ramsey Killer Caught

2006-08-18T15:40:00.000-04:00

It is really incredible to think that it has been almost ten years since the tiny corpse of Jon Benet Ramsey was found in her own home on Christmas morning. The child had been bound, strangled, gagged, tortured, and battered resulting in an eight inch skull fracture, as well as having been savagely violated with a broken paintbrush.

Now, at long last, it looks like justice may finally be served. John Mark Karr has confessed to Thai oficials that he killed the six year old. Tragically, her mother, Patsy Ramsey, died of cancer on June 24th of this year, after suffering not only the murder of her child, but having been suspected by many of being the killer.

The suspect, 41 year old John Mark Karr, was arrested in Bangkok, and will be sent to the US within days to face justice. One fascinating aspect of this case is that the legendary FBI profiler John Douglas, has maintained since the first weeks of the investigation that the Ramseys were innocent. Douglas, author of the book Mindhunter (available at www.amazon.com) and one of the the originator of the science of profiling criminals, always predicted that the killer would be a sexual sadist from the community who would bear a grudge against John Ramsey, and would leave no semen at the scene. Now John Douglas has been proved correct yet again, because the DNA evidence was found in saliva, not semen.It is just terrifying that neighbors of John Mark Karr are describing him as a quiet "really nice guy", a man who always bought plenty of Girl Scout cookies. He is a second grade teacher by profession.

I hope this will bring some peace to the Ramseys, and I hope that everyone will remember Patsy Ramsey's words, "There is someone out there. Keep your children close to you." John Mark Karr is not the only monster walking the streets, tricking everyone into thinking he is a nice guy.

College Packing List Part II

2006-08-14T14:41:00.003-04:00

Okay, okay!

I received quite a bit of feedback regarding last Thursday's college packing list, and I would like to defend myself, please!

That list was simply meant as a bare bones, no frills list for the student heading off to the classic freshman dorm situation, who eats mostly in the dining hall and shares a bathroom. If you want to supplement that frugal list by giving your student a brand new Yaris (try http://www.toyota.com/), go ahead!

Here is an additional list of items for those students setting up housekeeping off campus for the first time.

Check the archives on your left for last Thursday's column, which covers the bare essentials. Below is a supplemental list for the first college apartment.

Kitchen: 9 piece nonstick cookware set; nonstick set of kitchen utensils; one blender; one toaster oven; one coffeemaker;one can/bottle opener;4 mugs; 4 glasses;4 bowls; 4 plates; 4 sets dining utensils; and a dishrack. Be sure the bowls, plates, and mugs are microwave safe. Corian ia a good choice.

Wardrobe: 4 plastic storage boxes; 3 underbed boxes; one trunk; 28 hangers; shoe rack; pop-up hamper; laundry bag; folding drying rack; iron, ironing board, full length door mirror, scale, and a lint brush.

Again, this is strictly a bare bones list. If your student uses a curling iron and asthma medicine, make sure both are provided. Remember that a supply of gift cards to Staples or the local drugstore is a great way of making sure a gift of cash is used as you wish!

College Supply List

2006-08-11T11:09:00.000-04:00

Well, faithful readers, it is great to be back after my annual Florida hiatus. I hope you are all as eager as I am to resume our mutual education throught this column!

Keep writing in your questions, comments, and useful tips and I will continue to report from the from lines of education!

I have been checking out many of the stores where anxious parents are flocking in order to outfit their newly fledged college freshmen.

It is always interesting how each store's list of college needs reflects the store's profit needs, instead of the needs of an actual student. Keep in mind that different schools have different regulations regarding what is permitted in a dorm room. Here is a list of necessities that will serve as a basic framework.

I recommend checking out www.Target.com for good prices and innovative, stylish items!

Linens: Heavy comforter, midweight blanket, zippered pillow protector, zippered mattress protector, pillow, 2 pillowcases, 2 fitted sheets (extra deep), 2 flat sheets, 2 light blankets or spreads, 2 full length bath robes (keep in mind a freshman may be sharing a bathroom on a co-ed floor), 2 bath sheets, 2 bath towels, 6 washcloths, plastic bath basket with drainage holes. Try to keep as much as possible in the same color, or mark your initials in an inconspicous spot with a Sharpie.

Electronics:Laptop,surge protector, 2 keychain drives (Very Important!), book light, MP3 player/radio/alarm clock, extra cell phone charger, portable printer with extra ink, portable TV/DVDAppliances:Mini fridge, electric kettle, can opener, microwave, mini vacuum, smoke detector, battery operated or wind-up alarm clock, good quality flashlight.

All of these items apply to most students, and your average freshman knows what clothes he or she wants to bring. The main thing is to keep in mind that it is better not to squander cash on items that may not be needed before school starts. Buy your textbooks, look around and see what your roommates are also bringing to school. Remember that you will be better able to gauge what you need once you are there.

Good luck!

Children's Dental Danger

2006-06-13T00:21:00.000-04:00

Some of you may recall a few years back when a twelve year old girl lost her life during a "routine" dental procedure. Tragically, another case has come to our attention, this time involving a thirteen year old boy who was apparently misdiagnosed, which caused him to lose his life to complications of meningoencephalitis...a bacterial infraction which caused swelling of the brain.

All too often, dental care is neglected because people simply do not have the money to pay for preventative care, and frankly, there are plenty of terrible dentists practicing.

One of the reasons why this boy lost his life was because he did not receive care in time. I know that a twice a year checkup is recommended, but if you cannot afford that, please make it your business to have every member of your family see the dentist at least once a year, and practice the best flossing and brushing routine ever!

Unfortunately, for an increasing number of families, even that can be a hardship, so contact your local hospital to see if there are any available free or low cost dental clinics nearby. I am happy to recommend our family dentist to anyone living in Westchester...he does wonderful work! Simply e-mail me at mrswillsea@chiff.com and I will forward his contact information.

If you have a child in the NYC public schools and you are having difficulty affording dental care, please e-mail me at mrswillsea@chiff.com and I will send you some information that may help. No child should ever have to suffer because of the price of dental care, especially in America.

Now go brush and floss!

Teaching Baby to Talk

2006-05-31T12:59:00.000-04:00

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

My daughter is thirteen months old, and has just started to babble and say, "Da-da". My pediatrician tells me that she is right on schedule, but I see that many of my friend's children are having a very hard time learning to talk, or are speaking in whole sentences already. What can I do to encourage my daughter to talk?

Sandy in Flushing

Dear Sandy,

There does seem to be a rising number of children who are having speech delays, but I don't think your daughter is one of them. First, relax. It is only natural to be anxious, but you cannot allow yourself to become worried, because your child will certainly pick up on your nervousness.

The golden rule here is that every child develops at his or her own pace.That being said, one of the keys to language development is to make speech necessary. Encourage conversation at every opportunity. If you offer your child a snack, have her say, "Yes, please," or select between two choices, for example, "Strawberries, please." It doesn't matter if she lisps or garbles the words, i.e., pasghetti for spaghetti. That's fine...proper enunciation is quite a bit down the road.

Talk to her as much as possible, and ask plenty of questions so she has an opportunity to speak. Try to avoid television, which along with all its other drawbacks, really discourages speech because it is such a passive medium.Finally, don't hesitate to get a referral to a speech therapist if your pediatrician agrees that there is cause for concern. Also, never hesitate to seek a second opinion if you feel your doctor is not taking your concerns seriously.

I know of one family who had a non-speaking toddler who needed about a month of therapy before beginning to talk a blue streak. The family just needed specific targeted help. Good luck!

School Bus Trouble

2006-05-25T14:59:00.000-04:00

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

My son, Reuel, has been throwing a tantrum when I try to put him on the bus in the morning. What can I do?

Marta from the Bronx

Dear Marta,

I love to get questions from my school parents! We know that Reuel is not having any problems in school or on the bus, so that rules out one common cause of reluctance to board the bus. I strongly suspect that Reuel, like many of us, would simply prefer to relax at home and watch Spongebob.

Marta has shared in the past that Reuel is a very assertive child who will dominate the home if he senses hesitation or uncertainty on Mom's part.Mom needs to act confident, even if she doesn't feel confident, and explain to Reuel that he needs to get on the bus, buckle his seat belt, and talk quietly to his seatmate. She also needs to tell him that the bus matron and the bus driver will tell her if there are any problems. Then she needs to link consequences with proper bus behavior.

When Reuel boards the bus nicely and behaves properly, he can enjoy a reward after completing his homework, such as half an hour on the playground. If he does not behave, Reuel needs to do his homework, eat dinner and go straight to bed. Don't weaken, compromise, or bargain, and don't pay attention to tantrums or crying.

Your child's life may depend on you taking this issue very seriously.The tragic end of a little girl's life in Brooklyn shows what a serious issue school bus safety is to everyone. The Brooklyn tragedy is made even worse by the allegation that a boy on the bus caused the accident by fooling around and shifting the bus into gear. Please talk with your children and remind them that school bus behavior is serious matter.

Trampolines for Tots

2006-05-16T17:41:00.000-04:00

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

This weekend my family and I had a playdate with another single mother and my daughter, age four, had a great time playing on their trampoline. Also, she actually asked to go to bed a few minutes before regular bedtime? I am thinking of buying one, but are they safe?

Emma in Tacoma

Dear Emma,

Trampolines are gaining in popularity. The Occupational Therapists who work at my school use a small (about a yard in diameter) trampoline and have students jump on it for two reasons: one, to improve coordination; and two, to help burn off excess energy to help concentrate on academics. I have personally seen fantastic results with this method of using trampolines.Second, the large backyard trampolines, properly equipped with safety nets, can keep children involved in fun and healthy exercise for literally hours on end.

Trampolines and also be invaluable for improving skills in sports such as cheerleading, gymnastics, and diving.However, a trampoline, whether big or small, should never be used without close adult supervision and proper safety precautions. Do not allow unsupervised use at any time, and secure the trampoline so children cannot get to it. Lock up the small models, and slip a few locks through the netting on an outdoor model.

Make sure you use enough locks so a tiny tot can't slip in and be hurt. It's worth spending a couple of bucks on a few locks for the sake of safety. Children have broken their necks and backs, and some have been paralyzed or killed, so let safety be the first priority.Finally, trampolines are so much fun...the family that bounces together...loses ounces together!

Music and the Very Young

2006-05-10T15:36:00.000-04:00

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

I was watching the Montel Williams show when I saw a very young blind girl playing the most beautiful piano music which she had written. Do you think my six year old autistic son could benefit from music lessons?

Marla in NC

Dear Marla,

I think all children benefit from music lessons, starting from a very early age.

It is very likely that if your son enjoys listening to music played by certain instruments, like piano or guitar, he will be very eager to learn. Of course, be sure that the instructor is well-informed about autism and be sure to stay with your child throughout the lesson to be sure that he feels safe and secure.

You may want to see if a teacher at your son's school would be willing to recommend someone.Although many of us are familiar with the Suzuki method of teaching violin to children as young as three, five or six is usually a good time to start.

Remember to explore different instruments and musical styles before settling on something, and even then, do not invest heavily in an instrument that can be easily broken by accident. Also, do not fall for any of the many musical instrument scams out there. Lots of people have their children begin on the piano, then move to a different instrument later on as they develop preferences.

You shouldn't run out and buy a baby grand. An inexpensive keyboard is fine for the first couple of years, and there are always many used instruments available.I

hope you and your son have a fantastic time exploring the world of music!

First Names for Parents?

2006-05-03T00:20:00.000-04:00

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

My sixteen year old daughter has started calling us by our first names, and this drives her father and I crazy! She earns good grades and we get along well most of the time (okay, a few arguments over curfews and clothes), so why is she doing this? My husband thinks it is deliberately annoying, while I can't decide whether to be hurt or irritated. Any thoughts?

Delia and Scott in Asbury Park

Dear Parents,

This first name business is so common, and is basically an attempt to establish a separate identity on a more equal basis. Calling you by your first names nominally lowers you to the level of peer, even though everyone concerned knows that the authority vested in Mom and Dad remains no matter what they are called! Plus, the fact that is sooooo exasperating to the parents is a delightful bonus to the average teenager.

Be happy that you have steered clear of bigger teenage problems and try not to let it get to you. Make it very clear however, that you do not care to be called by your first names. There is a reason why good parents are known as Mom or Dad. There is a lot of power inherant in those titles, and do not throw away that authority. Don't make this into a war, always choose your battles, but do make your feelings clear.

The irony in this particular behavior is that usually by the time the child really does establish a real adult identity, they will be secure enough to go back to the more respectful titles of "Mom" and Dad".

ADHD Drug News

2006-04-25T01:03:00.000-04:00

Many of you were very concerned about the recent study of some serious side effects that have been documented in conjunction with many common prescription drugs. Please check out the previous Willsea Way column, where I discussed this matter in some detail.

There has been a remarkably fast response from the pharmaceutical industry, and what sounds like a very sensible solution. Instead of popping pills, a person can simply stick on a transdermal patch, and that way, if any side effects occur, the patch can simply be peeled off, and the medication stops. When taking medication orally, it can take up to 12 hours for all traces of a drug to be eliminated from the bloodstream. If a serious side effect appears, that span of time can lead to trouble. The patch could literally be a lifesaver.

Personally, I think using a patch is a great idea. It removes the "did I or didn't I" factor, where people simply forget whether or not they took a prescription medication. It is a proven and familiar way to administer drugs without the most common side effect of all...an upset stomach. And using a patch to deliver medication for ADD or ADHD removes the embarrassment suffered by many kids when they have to go to the nurse at lunchtime to take their pills, which is the worst kept confidential medical secret in the school.

School Year Extended Absences

2006-04-06T00:59:00.000-04:00

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

I will be traveling back to Lisbon, Portugal, because my mother passed away and we need to settle her affairs. We will be gone for approximately six to eight weeks. I have no one I can leave my first grade daughter with, so she will be coming with me. How can I minimize the impact this absence will have on her schooling?

Muriel in Islamorda

Dear Muriel,

First, allow me to offer my sympathies on the loss of your mother. Although an extended absence is never desirable, the main thing to do is to prepare as much in advance as possible. Call your daughter's teacher, explain the situation, and give her as much lead time as possible to prepare daily assignments. Chances are that your school may require documentation such as a copy of your tickets, itinerary, and any other relevant documentation.

If your child is already struggling, be aware and discuss with your teacher whether or not this could mean repeating the grade. However, most children can handle extended absences very well, and return without missing a beat.

One technique that has proved really useful is to ask the teacher to divide the work into a daily assignment packet, including supplemental work packets (consisting of review work) to be done on weekends and holidays. Taking weekends off seems to be very detrimental during vacations because it is so easy to get distracted anyway. A session of daily homeschooling will keep her on track and enable her to ease the transition back to class.

Be sure to get the upcoming weekly spelling lists, daily assignments for both language arts and mathematics, and at least two science and social studies assignments a week. Bring plenty of books, including your child's reading anthology, which should contain the stories the class will be reading.

Although you will undoubtedly be busy dealing with your mother's estate, try not to overlook the opportunities available in Portugal, which has a rich cultural heritage. Try to visit a museum or some other historical sites, and allow your child to spend as much time as possible around other people who speak Portuguese, and she may become fluent by the time she returns. Good luck to you both.

Psychosis and ADD Medication

2006-03-31T03:15:00.000-05:00

This week there has been some serious concerns over a report released by the Food and Drug Administration linking some very commonly prescribed medications with some very serious side effects, including both psychosis and heart failure.

Yet it is extremely important to keep in mind the relative rarity of these side effects...over 5.1 million Americans take these medications, and five hundred report psychotic episodes, while five individuals have died of possible heart failure. Although these numbers are proportionately small, one psychotic episode or one dead child is too much when it's your baby.

Simply put, all these medications, including Ritalin, Strattera, Adderall, and Focalin, are not to be taken or prescribed casually. They are all working on the most complex and least understood human organ, the brain. The majority of people taking them find these medications to be both safe and effective, but again, these are powerful drugs.

An independent advisory panel has suggested to the FDA label these drugs with a "black box" warning label, which in my opinion is a good idea. Interestingly enough, according to the New York Daily News, the number of adults aged between 20 and 44 on ADHD medications has increased over 164% for women and 119% for men since the year 2000. Keep in mind that these medications have only been widely used since the mid-1980's, so there are no really long term studies of regular use. The bottom line is to be careful. If the medication is needed, take it, but be sure you are ruling out problems such as a lack of sleep or excessive stress before you turn to the pharmacy!

Ten Essential Games

2006-03-21T03:34:00.000-05:00

I'm devoting today's column to ten games that every family should own and every family should play. I'm a big believer in the memories formed by having a "Family Game Night", and the following is a list of the ten must-haves, along with a bonus favorite of mine. Also, don't waste money on the "Junior" editions...simply start with Candyland and the games will adjust naturally.

1) Candyland - A classic for tots. Mastering this game gives quite a knowledge base for Kindergarten skills, like counting and color recognition.

2) Cards - A simple deck of playing cards will take everyone in the family from a simple game of "War" all the way to Texas Hold 'em poker.

3) Dominos - Another versatile activity that can entertain people from four to one hundred and four.

4) Jacks - Unbeatable for developing eye hand coordination, and fun for the adults also.

5) Checkers - Great when time is short, and a great introduction to thinking several moves ahead.

6) Boggle - Fantastic for developing language arts skills. For little ones, play with a list of sight words for reference. Check out the Willsea Way archives for grade appropriate word lists.

7) Monopoly - Have an adult serve as banker for very young children, and be sure to enjoy the time honored tradition of playing Monopoly on snow days and rainy weekends. My sisters and I once played for three rainy days in a row. What a fun memory!

8) Scrabble - Another terrific language builder. Again, keep an SAT word list and a quality dictionary nearby.

9) Pictionary - A great all around game. The drawings keep everyone laughing.

10) Chess - Simply the king of all board games. Teach your children this game when they are young, and play it frequently. It develops so many different skills at such a high level that it is unique.

11) Trivial Pursuit - Not an essential, but a personal favorite. I'm sure that we will receive some outraged e-mail from the Cranium and Battleship fans out there, and that's great! This is simply a list of essentials. By the way, save yourself some aggravation and pick up a spare deck of cards and the travel version of a few of these games, and toss them in your suitcase now, before vacation season gets underway. Have some low-tech fun this week!

Social Outcast Child

2006-03-13T22:09:00.000-05:00

Dear Mrs. Willsea,

I love my daughter very much. She is a bright, cute girl who gets good grades and has a nice, quiet personality. However, for some reason, she has no friends at all in her school. In fact, she is often bullied and teased. I don't know what the problem is, I have always been popular. Her only friend seems to be a girl in her dance class. She is eight years old and things do not seem to be improving. What can I do?

Concerned Mother in Cape Hatteras

Dear Mom,

I think that this is a really serious situation that can leave lasting social scars. Ask her why she thinks the other kids tease her. Although we encourage individuality, it is critically important for a child to feel the sense of security that can only come from "belonging".

Social skills are frequently more important than academic skills in everyday life, and your daughter clearly needs help. Does she fit in with her classmates? I'm not talking about race, religion, or abilities; I'm saying that if everyone else is playing with Pokemon cards, she should have them also.

Enlist the help of her teacher. Explain the situation and ask for her insights and help. Keep in mind that childhood depression is on the rise. Maybe a visit to a child psychiatrist could help her. It's possible that she may have been victimized by an adult, which frequently leads to sadness and withdrawal. Also, don't be afraid to switch schools. The culture of one school is very different from that of another, and maybe the friend in her dance class attends a school where your daughter could thrive.

Remember, real success happens when academic success meshes with social success.

Tax Tips for Teachers II

2006-03-07T03:49:00.000-05:00

I apologize for the delay in posting this column, faithful readers, but we have been coping with the death of Robert Arthur Willsea, age 41, whose unexpected loss has left this world a colder and lonelier place.

I hope everyone has followed the suggestions in the previous column, and has all the paperwork easily accessible and ready to start.

There is plenty of great do it yourself software on the market, and most people feel very comfortable using any of these products because of the built in checks which will prevent you from making a variety of errors. The most popular seems to be Turbo Tax, and it can be a very wise investment.I do recommend seeing a professional tax preparer or accountant whenever you have a major life change, like marriage, divorce, retirement, or any unusual financial situation, like an inheritance, natural disaster, or audit. Keep copies of each year's returns in a clearly labeled three ring binder that you keep in a secure place. The five most common mistakes causing delays and problems are the following, according to the IRS:

1, name and SSN mismatch; 2, dependent and SSN mismatch; 3, EITC is incorrectly calculated; 4, W2 form is not included; 5, SSN or name is illegible.

All these errors are easy to make if you are exhausted and trying to finish on a deadline. Don't torture yourself like this. Do your taxes or make an appointment with a preparer, then check everything the next day when you can relax and think clearly.

Good luck everyone!