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Another Parenting Lesson: Jesus Doesn't Yell

2009-11-28T15:53:00.007-06:00

It's hard to be a part-time parent. By that, I mean it's hard to work long hours day/night and to occasionally see your family only on the weekends. It's even harder when you take out your work stresses on your family during those limited times you see them. It's worse when you yell at them.

Photo: Pictures by Pwyrdan

My four-year old opened my eyes to my grumpiness last night. You see, I worked all day as the entire rest of the world was off. I came home and started barking commands to the kids to clean up so we could "enjoy the evening together."

Pick up that crayon. And that one. Put that in the trash. Pick up your socks. I told you to fold the blanket. Put the cups in the sink. Do you want to watch this movie with Daddy? Then do as I say, PICK UP!!!

Her precious voice interrupted my loud trumpet: "Dad ... Jesus would not pick up like that."

"I know. He would actually pick up after Himself." I said matter-of-factly.

"No. Not that. He would not yell at us to pick up." She innocently responded.

That was all I needed to hear to be completely, totally and entirely convicted. If you have been one of those parents, you know the feeling. Here is the good news for you and me:

You are convictable ... meaning you know that there is a difference between good and bad parenting. If you have yelled at your children and realized that what you did was wrong, then there is great hope. If you are a screamer and feel that your actions are always justified (i.e., "They just won't listen."), then you are wrong. But there is still hope for you, too.
You are changeable ... meaning that you can change your ways. Whether you grew up with yelling parents, or you just fell into the habit recently, you can modify the tone you talk to your children.
You are in charge ... meaning that you control the situation with your children. Notice that I did not say, "You control your children in all situations." I said, you control the situation. If that means that you need to walk away to find the right tone to talk to them, then take control and walk away.

Here is the take-away: I am called to live a godly life. Every day I fail to meet that standard. Does Christ yell at me when I fail to meet that standard? No. Instead, does his Word encourage me? Yes. With parenting, I am not to change my standard ... I am to encourage my children to meet that standard ... And yelling won't get them there.

How to Make Yourself Look 10 Years Younger

2009-11-20T09:16:00.006-06:00

I was out late last night talking with a friend. Actually, we were mapping out our lives for the next year. If all goes as planned, we will be famous, multi-millionaire, speaker-guys ... or bankrupt. Thanks for the great evening, Dr. Brassell.

As I pulled into the garage, I was kinda sad because I knew that I missed bedtime for most of my kids. Of course, Alie would be up reading and I would get at least one kid-hug tonight. I opened the garage door and ... BAM!

There, standing before me, was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. The long, flowing hair bounced off her shoulders and reached out in an attempt to pull me closer. The rays of light shone from her face as though she were her own galaxy. Our eyes met. Sparkle. She smiled. Sparkle.

I hope my wife does not bust me checking out this woman. Oh, wait, that is my wife. Wow! She looked ten years younger. How did she do that? It must be the thug stalking cap and "Team Edward" t-shirt. Giggling like a fifteen year old school girl, she said: "Honey, I'm going to see the new Twilight movie tonight at midnight with my friends. See you later."

So, how can you make yourself look 10 years younger? For only $20.00, you too can have this look. $10.00 for the t-shirt and $10.00 for the teenage vampire-werewolf love story movie. And there you have it.

Train Up a Child (or Teach Them How to Vomit)

2009-11-16T10:13:00.007-06:00

My wife would kill me if she knew that I was telling you this. Don't tell her! (... please ...) That's right, I am going to tell you about discipline and training and chuck.

All afternoon yesterday, my little Addy (4yr) was not feeling well. She had already gotten sick once in the car, had a shower, and spent the evening on the couch. Although we probably surmised that more food might make her sick, she ate dinner nonetheless. Wasn't that bad ... oatmeal. How hard can that ol' quaker dude be on your stomach anyway?

Fast forward two hours. Cough. Cough. Scream. Cough. Gurgle. Gurgle.

I ran into Addy's room. She was crying ... but not talking. She had her hands cupped around her mouth. I ran to her bed and saw that she was gagging. She did not want to get sick in her bed.

I scooped her up in my arms and cradled her to the bathroom. She could have let go. But she did not. Her small, cupping hands held tight to her mouth. As I sat her down on the ground near the toilet, she aimed .... and released. Good girl.

You may find this disgusting, but I was one proud pop. Did you see that? She held tight until she was in the clear. She did not want to get sick in her bed. She did not want to get sick on her Dad. She waited until she could get sick where sick belonged.

We (... I mean my wife ... ) wiped her brow, cleaned her mouth, bathed her, and set her back into bed. Although we had already prayed once, I would later return to Addy's room for an extra prayer. Can't have too many, right?

As I walked out into the dark hallway, I looked over my shoulder to the motionless body. That's what I call disciplined. To us, discipline is everything you put into children that influences how they will fare in the real world. Perhaps out of cleanliness ... perhaps out of laziness ... perhaps out of leadership ... but we have always trained our children (no matter what age) to hold their sickness until they can get to a bathroom. Addy, in her moment of sickness and nausea, could have reacted so many different ways. But she chose to hold on and get sick where sick belonged.

Is that disgusting? Maybe. Are we mean parents? Probably. Is there a lesson in all this talk? Yes. If God can use an evening of sickness to show me that training really does make a difference, then perhaps He can impress upon your mind: "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Baby Loves 80s | Rock Me Amadeus

2009-11-11T17:34:00.003-06:00

I am sure you have seen many dancing babies before. I am sure you have heard of Greatest Hits of the 80s. But have you seen my baby dancing to the greatest hits of the 80s?

I am going to feature a new dance every few days. Here is the album song list. If you wanna play director, send me your requests.

How Not to Get Rid of Your Pet

2009-11-11T08:31:00.006-06:00

I really don't like pets. Cats. Dogs. Mice. Hermit Crabs. Upon further reflection, I like pets .... I just don't like children who don't take care of their own pets. You know what I'm saying?

Let me tell you about my friend's daughter, who has her own thoughts about pets. We were at a birthday party when her dad expressly told her that she had to eat 1/2 hamburger before she got a cupcake. Okay. That's not so bad, right?

As my friend walked away, I sat there watching this precious little girl munch down her chips and beans. She picked at the burger. I glanced as she pushed that burnt crusty patty around her plate. With a snooty look on her face, the burger fell right on the ground. She looked around. My eyes darted to the left. Whew...she did not see me.

Enter the cat. This mangled, dusty and probably starving cat sprinted to the burger on the ground and began feasting. The little girl watched. I watched. (I am trying to control my laughter already.)

The cat had just finished its all-you-can-eat-burnt-patty-buffet when the dad returned. I know we teach our kids not to be a tattletale, but I could not resist. "Hey man, your kid just dropped her burger on the ground and let the cat eat it all."

The blood vessels pumped. The sweat trickled. The inquisition began:

Him: "Baby, did you eat your burger?"
Her: (Pause) ... "No."
Him: "Do you remember what I told you about the cupcake?"
Her: (Pause) ... "Yes."
Him: "So, you know that you are not going to get a cupcake until you eat a burger?"
Her: (Pause) ... "Yes."
Him: "What, then, do you have to do now?"
Her: (Pause) ... (Pause) ... (Pause)... "Eat the cat?"

She said, EAT THE CAT! Too funny.

As parents, we can only teach our children the many lessons of life. Know the difference between right and wrong. Do right. Don't do wrong. Help others. Give more than you receive. Put the toilet seat down. Despite all the teaching, we can never fully prepare ourselves for what our children will say. What's the funniest thing you've heard a kid say?

I'm Not Right! And You Are?

2009-11-09T10:28:00.005-06:00

This weekend someone told me: "You're not right! .... We still gonna be your friend, but you ain't right!"

For the record, that is not me (above). That is someone else who is not right! Every time some says that I am not right, I generally embrace it. I love my ain't-right-ness.

Upon further reflection, I wanna know who came up with right-ness anyway? It certainly wasn't Matthew Paul Turner: THAT GUY IS NOT RIGHT! (...Something tells me that Matt loves his ain't-right-ness, too...) Now that I pointed you to Matt's site, I am sure that I will offend any number of you, which, again, makes me not right in your eyes. Well, here are a few of my top That'sNotRight for the week:

Jesus Pics of the Day ... by Matt ... again ... good one!
Conservatives for Palin ... Are there any others?
Twitter + God = ChristianChirp.com. Apparently, some hackers shut it down, perhaps thinking it wasn't right either.

After checking out these sites, if you think I am not right (...and assume that I am not right...), then think about what I think about you. You laughed at least once. You ain't right, either!

Cancel Halloween? This Dad Says, "Kinda-Sorta"

2009-10-30T08:34:00.007-05:00

I cannot remember an October 31 that I did not go trick-or-treating as a child. In fact, I had it down to a science: (1) Costume was just that ... a prop ... to get candy; (2) Pillowcase to store the mounds of treats; (3) Eat a few during the trick-or-treat ritual, but mostly save them for trading; and (4) Get back to the house, organize candy, make an inventory list, and start trading away!

Up until last year, I had never thought that it would be different for my five children: dress them up, parade through the streets, over-indulge in candy, come home and pass out from a sugar high.

But aren't we called to be different than the World? You can Google the phrase "Christians and Halloween" and get hundreds of articles on whether we should celebrate this once-a-year phenomenon. One author for a leading evangelist concluded that "Halloween is a real, sacred day for those who follow Wicca." Another leading Christian site goes so far as to say that it is "closely connected with the worship of ... Satan."

I am not sure I am willing to go that far. For me, the real source is not Google or what other Christians may be saying or even what other people may be saying about what other Christians are saying. For me, answer comes from the Word:

Don't participate in the things these people do. For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. (NLT) Ephesians 5:7-12

Where does that leave us? Am I cancelling Halloween this year? Kinda-Sorta. Here is my response to you and to my kids:

Make it a personal decision. I think this is an issue of studying the scriptures yourself and following your own convictions. As long as your decision is based upon the Word (... as opposed to the World ... ), then stick with it.
Make it a family celebration. We will continue to make this a special time for our kids. Traditionally, we have gone to my parents' neighborhood for a parade, chili cook-off, and then the obligatory candy-begging.
Make your own costumes. While we love hitting the 'mart for the weekly special, we have decided that the kids can dress up as long as they make their own costumes. We will, of course, help them with materials. But this is supposed to be a time of fun and imagination. Other ground rules: no witches, no ghouls, no devils, and absolutely no Britney's!
Make use of your collections. All that candy and what to do? This year, we are going to make use of our kids' bounty. There are a number causes out there that we can support and we want to use our Kinda-Sorta-Halloween as a time to help others, whether it is care packages for the military, prison ministries, or local children's groups.

Using Templates for Adversity

2009-10-28T08:30:00.006-05:00

One of my favorite leadership gurus, Michael Hyatt (CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing) posted a few good recommendations a couple months ago about using templates for greater efficiency. Michael wrote:

For years, I have used the concept of “templating” to improve my productivity. The idea is that you create a template for any task that you find yourself doing repeatedly. So instead of “reinventing the wheel” every time, you do it once, save it as a template, and then reuse it.

Michael described the way he processes the hundreds of emails in his in-box, including the use of templates to respond to personal meeting requests, book proposal requests, customer complaints, media inquiries and many others.

If you just stop reading here, you can walk away with a grand nugget of wisdom on how templates can improve your overall efficiency. However, I was thinking this morning about using templates for adversity ... or for emergencies ... or for conflict ... or for any behavioral pattern that you experience. For example, there is a conflict in our house called "pre-teen attitude" that usually emits from my 11-yr old daughter and that often causes shortness or frustration in my words. Like the emails Michael talks about, I find that this situation is occurring repeatedly. Enter the template, where I plan for these events and map out my response. In this particular example, I am learning to not escalate the exchange of words with my daughter, but instead respond with a game plan.

Honey, I tell her, you know your mom and I do not allow that tone and disrespect in our house. Please go up to your room and come back when you are ready to talk in a better manner.

Of course, I meet resistance: But, Dad, I didn't do anything wrong!

And, of course, I have prepared my response because this has happened before. Please go up to your room and we will talk later.

Almost every time that we have talked after the cool down period, we get to the heart of the problem. I can also say that almost every time that I don't use my template for "pre-teen attitude," we never get to the heart of the problem. Here are some tips for using templates for adversity:

Write out the top five events that occur repeatedly. These can include instances when you lose your cool, times when you get frustrated, or even those events that you know will occur often, such as getting ready for church on Sunday mornings. A few of mine include: (a) my children talk with disrespect to us; (b) my relationship with my wife is challenged when we are apart; and (c) my children have a strange attraction to emergency rooms.

For each event, write out the traditional behavioral pattern due to lack of planning. For instance, in my examples above, the events are generally riddled with either anger, frustration or anxiety if we don't follow a plan.

Finally, create a new template for your adversities. This is often the easiest and the hardest part. It is easy because you often know what doesn't work ... that is, how you traditionally respond to the situation does not work. It is hard because it really takes some thinking and it may take you a few drafts before you get it right.

Since my children are prone to accident (... or perhaps it is because I have so many children ...), we inevitably will spend one day in the emergency room or medical clinic every few months. If it is a cut, scrape, bleeding a little, cough, or puke, then my wife "may" call on the way to the doctor and I "may" meet them. If it is broken, bleeding a lot, or not breathing, then my wife drops the other kids at my parent's house, she "will" call me, and I "will" meet her wherever. By preparing for these events, we save a lot of heart ache and hurtful words.

In what areas can templates improve your life?

God Sees Your Laziness

2009-10-27T11:03:00.007-05:00

As I was putting on my socks this morning, I noticed they were turned inside-out. Since my wife was getting dressed at the same time, and knowing she just did laundry yesterday (...thank you sweetie...), I decided to push a few buttons:

Hey, sweetie, these socks are turned inside-out.

Yes? ... Her tone looped up like the climb on a roller coaster. She thought I was going to blame or criticize or critique her laundry cleaning skills. As if?

Well, I was just wondering, do you think anyone will know if my socks are inside-out? I mean, how many people actually look at your socks? Even if they do, will they be able to tell the little gray dots with strings should be on the inside? Besides, I already have one sock on my foot. I will fix the other one, but not this one. There's no way anyone can tell, right?

She paused ... God sees your laziness.

I guess she had me there. Every time I want to take a short cut (at work, at play, with the kids, you name it), I often forget to realize that "Excellence" (not to be interpreted as "perfection") should be my standard. Talking about goal-setting today in his newsletter, Chris Brogan said it this way:

Your only competition is you. When you look to succeed, measure against yourself. It's okay to take a quick peek at someone else to get a gauge of where you stand in comparison, but then throw that information aside and measure where you are NOW and where you want to be in 3 months, six months, a year.

You know, he's right: my only competition is me. Whether the issue is parenting, loving my spouse, having a good work ethic, finishing a report on time, etc., I am generally my greatest hurdle to overcome. When I say "I" ... I usually mean my "laziness" or "procrastination." When you fail to achieve your goals, what does God see? Laziness? Lack of planning? Anger? Low self esteem?
I am ... and you are ... called to excellence. Turn those socks right side!

Contest: Design A Logo for Growing-and-Growing

2009-10-23T14:35:00.005-05:00

As you can see, I have made some changes here. Every day that goes by, I am challenged more and more.

When I started this website, it was fivedevries.com ... then wife got sick, got big, and screamed ... and it then was sixdevries.com ... then wife got sick, got big, and screamed ... and it is was ~~sevendevries.com~~ ... no, wait, there is a trend going on there ... look to the future ... don't keep buying domain names with each scream ... buy growingandgrowing.com ...

Over the past year, you have been a part of our family as my dad was involved in a near fatal car accident, you have read about many GodThruMan moments (...where God works through man to demonstrate His existence, presence or power...), and you've experienced the joy of two parents when their little boy finds a Savior. We've even had logo contests for some great T-Shirts about praying for Dad.

Over the next year, I hope that you will continue to be part of our family. As we grow mightily and learn to prevail ... my hope is that you grow mightily and prevail, too! How can you help? Right now, if you are a designer or tech-nut or thinker, please take your shot at creating a new website logo for growingandgrowing.com. Acts 19:20 tells us that "...the word of the Lord was growing mightily and prevailing." And that's what we want to do: spread the Word so that He becomes mighty and prevails! Let us know if you have any ideas.

The winner will receive lights, fame, glory ... and a gift certificate to your favorite restaurant. (Your choice.)

Photo: Technowannabe

Invisible People: How Can I Make a Difference?

2009-10-20T11:15:00.005-05:00

I received Chris Brogan's e-newsletter this morning and was lead to Mark Horvath's Invisible People, a project that gives voices to the homeless across the country. This one caught my eye ... and mind ... and heart:

(Rashid from InvisiblePeople.tv on Vimeo) Rashid is no different that you and me. In fact, he's got about 12 years more in the working world than I do. Despite his circumstances ... amazing indeed ... Rashid still finds the passion to be kind to others. How about you? Can you make a difference? Yep.

If you live in the Nashville area, Lambscroft Ministries and Woodbine Cumberland Presbyterian Church provide food, shelter and a hot shower two nights a week to some of friends without homes. What can you do to help?

Come eat a meal with our friends
Come watch a movie with our friends
Come talk with our friends
Come read a story or share a bible study with our friends
Make a meal for our friends (Wednesday or Saturday ... email Pat DeVries)
Bring some new socks, jackets or blankets

I've had my doubts and concerns about helping others when I had an extra two (not three) cinnamon rolls. But it wasn't that hard once ... once ... once you just reach out your hand to help another. You can make a difference.

Attorneys & Appendectomies: Ann Patchett Speaks in Nashville About the "Business" of Writing

2009-10-15T05:35:00.001-05:00

Many of you know about my desire to write and publish the accounts of a "family living on the fence" and what it takes to find God's greener pastures ... or about the ViolentSilence that sent a crushed man of God to the TraumaCondo on an early Saturday morning. Given my renewed passion for completing these works, I was excited to learn that best-selling author Ann Patchett was speaking at our downtown Exchange Club of Nashville luncheon on Tuesday. Her topic: the "business" of a writer.

Since Patchett was talking to a group of local bankers, professionals and businessmen, she felt compelled to speak ... not about her literary works ... but about her business experiences as a published author. She spoke about the process of finding a literary agent, shopping a publisher, and negotiating every imaginable royalty. Patchett explained that authors receive additional royalties for the books sold following the "earn out" of an advance. She had the crowd laughing gleefully when she shared her Top Things an Author Does Not Want to Hear from a Fan, including:

"I just bought the latest paperback edition of your book!"

"You won't believe this ... I was on the waiting list at the local library for three months for your most recent book."

"I borrowed a copy of your book from a friend and it was great!"

During the Q&A period, I asked Patchett what she thought of self-publishing, particularly given the same day announcement from Thomas Nelson about a new division called WestBow Press, which will offer self-publishing services. Her response:

Self-publishing is a lot like "representing yourself in court without an attorney ... (audience laughs) ... while giving yourself an appendectomy ... (more laughs)..."

Certainly Patchett did not know I was an attorney or that I have represented myself in court on a few "alleged" violations of the local traffic laws. And while I do not intend to perform any medical surgeries to remove my own body parts, I am not sure that I would flush the self-publishing option. Although he has a dog in this fight, Michael Hyatt raises some valid points about non-traditional reasons for self-publishing. And so does author Carol Hoenig.

Photo: Diego DeNicola

Praying Boy: A Small Reward Pushes You to Lead

2009-10-12T08:32:00.010-05:00

After a long day yesterday, I started the nightly ritual of "tucking in" five children. Each has their own routine—whether it involves going potty, needing a sippy cup, or making up a nighttime adventure. For my 6-year old, Dylan, the evening began with a question: "Dad, can you tell me about the prayer to get to heaven?

Words that I had not expected ... probably because it came from the same boy who stuck a bead in his ear and swallowed a quarter in a seven day period last month ... but words that I needed to hear. The next twenty minutes were precious: leading my son to join God's family, seeing the excitement on his face, calling a few people to tell them the Good News, and me just beaming on the inside.

Last night was more than a significant moment in Dylan's life ... it was a moment that God gave me ... to push forward, to take the reigns of this family, to continue with this stirring in my gut, to make a difference in the world.

To Dylan, a praying boy, it was perhaps the single most important decision he will make in his life. To me, the boy's father, it was a small reward that pushes me onward. What pushes you onward?

Changes in Leadership

2009-10-10T12:42:00.008-05:00

There is change all around us. This post is not about external changes, like you may see on the new website ... thanks Themescook! ... I am talking about another kind of:

This change is about internal change. Not your internal change. Not my wife's internal change. Not my kids' internal change (...although some of them really, really need it...).

This change is about my internal change. I was reading Michael Hyatt's
post last week about Leadership Lessons from General Tommy Franks. This is what caught my attention:

General Franks told the story of a young lieutenant who declared his intention to one day become a General himself. He asked, “Could you share with me the one thing I can do to advance my career and achieve this goal?”

General Franks told him, “Son, go out and buy two alarm clocks.”

The young officer, clearly confused by the General’s answer, asked, “Two alarm clocks?”

“That’s right,” General Franks explained. “If you can’t take responsibility for your own life and show up on time, you have no right leading anyone else. Don’t ever be late.”

Ouch! Here's how I translated that one: If you cannot lead your own life, how can you be a leader? A leader of your family. A leader in you church. A leader in your community. A leader in your career.

While this may be a no-brainer for many of you, it really hit me like ... like ... like ... like a log in my own eye. Right now, more than ever, my wife and kids need me to help lead our little clan through life's challenges. Right now, more than ever, my clients and colleagues need a leader to help them weather these hard economic times. Right now, more than ever, I need to hear the wake up call and get started leading. Looks like it is time for me to go buy another alarm clock!

(Note: If you are not following Michael Hyatt, now is a good time to start doing so. He is the CEO of Nelson Publishing and has some great words of wisdom.)

100% Update: Are Those Muscles Twitching?

2009-10-06T19:04:00.003-05:00

If you are new here, then you will have to go all the way back to September 2008 to understand what happened and what I mean by the 100% Update.

Good, now that you are caught up, here is a picture that I received from Dad this evening:

It was entitled Face Therapy with a note, "Got hooked up with electrodes to check the muscular activity in face."

Dad and Mom are both doing well. They just had a little family reunion last week here in Nashville ... with friends visiting from all around the country. Mom is getting tired of driving "Mr. Daisy" to and from work, to and from meetings, to and from doctors' visits. And I am sure that Dad is getting tired of being called "Mr. Daisy."

Return of the Pink and Blue Wires: A Book Review of Elizabeth Pace's "The X and Y of Buy"

2009-09-14T10:49:00.007-05:00

There are so many reasons why I chose to review this book:

1) It was free ... part of Thomas Nelson's Book Review Blogger program.

2) I love talking about pink wires and blue wires. If you are a regular here at G&G, then you know that I delight in pointing out those differences.

3) When I received the book from Thomas Nelson, I was blown away by a testimony from Cordia Harrington, CEO & the “Bun Lady” Tennessee Bun Company, on the inside cover. I first met Cordia at an Exchange Club Luncheon and was taken back by her excitement, presence, and intelligence. If it's good enough for Cordia, it's good enough for me.

The X&Y of Buy is one of the quickest "reads" that I have read. (... Does that make sense? ... it does to me ... ) Full of funny quips, the book highlight the pink/blue distinction and teaches great lessons. The book hit its mark on humor, highlights the "research" studies, and provides many tips. Although I loved the cover ( ... that pink/blue wire fascination ... ), I did not have high expectations. Pace actually discusses "how" to sell to men and women differently.

For that power-seller friend, this makes a great gift idea. If you are not in sales, sit back and delight in the anecdotes. Overall, a good read.

Surgery Update

2009-09-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

Dad is okay. Out of surgery. In recovery. Doc said things went well.

Razr Meets the Razor

2009-09-09T23:41:00.003-05:00

Dad is scheduled for his third post-accident surgery tomorrow at 11:00am. It's late ... my eyes are burning ... I have no clue about the medical description of the surgery ... but I know that it is intended to fix Dad's burning eyes ... or rather, his double-double vision-vision!! Thanks for all your prayers and we will let you know how he is doing tomorrow afternoon.

Is It Possible to Live ... Fearless?

2009-09-08T00:05:00.001-05:00

According to Max Lucado's new book out today ... the answer to that question is a resounding, "Yes!"

As if our family did not have enough on our plate—continual health struggles, financial brawls, and even the "challenge your faith" cracks that we found in our concrete foundation—I signed up to be a Book Review Blogger for Thomas Nelson. Oh, sure, I have some free time to read a book and write a book review!

What we thought would be an absolute painstaking chore to complete in time for the release of Lucado's new book Fearless, we found that the timing of this book (and the artfully crafted words) helped lay to rest some of our own doubts ... alarms ... panics ... concerns .. and apprehensions.

Fearless is truly one of the most "relevant" books of the day, as Lucado addresses some of the most timely fears that creep into our hearts and minds. You've heard about many of these anxieties on the television and radio ... from swine flu ... to layoff's at work ... to acts of violence ... to danger to our children ... and the list continues. The remedy outlined in this quick-to-read 180-pages is more than just the simple words, "Do not fear!" Rather, Lucado takes aim at what is attacking you ... invites you to look at the life and words of Jesus ... and challenges you live fearless. Lucado writes, "It's not the absence of storms that sets us apart. It's whom we discover in the storm: an unstirred Christ."

So. Is it possible to live fearless? Yes. Imagine your life without fear. Read Fearless. Learn to identify your trepidation. Name it. Pray over it. Act on it. Focus on God.

[Note: For all the dudes out there, just click the video below!]

Writer's Block

2009-09-01T23:13:00.005-05:00

"Writer's block is a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition varies widely in intensity. It can be trivial, a temporary difficulty in dealing with the task in hand. At the other extreme, some "blocked" writers have been unable to work for years on end, and some have even abandoned their careers." (Wikipedia)

Given the lack of posts here at G&G, you may think I have had Writer'sBlock for the past month. However, I actually have been writing other things. BestPractices keeps me busy. Work keeps me busy. And I have been outlining a few books.

Here's where I need your help. I am writing three different books on two different subjects. One is easy to write; one is very difficult; and one involves an "unfinished" story. If you had to choose which to buy ... or which to write ... or which to put all your effort into ... which would it be?

The Miracle Man: You know the story. Don't confuse the Miracle Man with the miracle man. Told by son and father. Sold in Christian bookstores.

The Trauma Condo: Same story, different perspective. This one is written with a little G&G flare. Told by one messed up son. Picked up by Oprah ... New York Times' Bestseller. Sold everywhere!

Family on the Fence: Definitely something that would be featured by Dennis Rainey. A tale of a family stuck on the fence ... not doing much wrong ... but not doing everything right ... just getting by in life. What does it take for this family to become one of "those" families that got off the fence and now delights in God's green pasture?

What do you think? Leave a comment.

Believer or Disbeliever?

2009-08-03T09:01:00.004-05:00

A guy died. You saw him take his last breath. You heard him scream out. You winced as his body collapsed to the earth.

Two months later you were at an international festival. Crazy things were happening. You saw a crowd in the distance ... they were gathered around what appeared to be a lunatic. He was quoting some prophecies about a savior. The image of the broken, bloodied, soiled-stained body pierce your mind. You saw it. You were there. The voice from the yelling man trumpets loudly: " . . . God raised [the dead guy] up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power." Acts 2:1-36.

I've heard some crazy stories in my life and this one has to be on top of the list. Imagine the modern day (skewed) equivalent: Michael Jackson dies. There is an international celebration. As his music plays, the words are heard in the native tongue of the listener. At the end of the celebration concert, Ozzy Osborne (...I said it was far fetched...) stands up and says with all might: "The King of Pop lives. He was raised from the dead."

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing remotely similar between the King of all Kings and the King of Pop. But your disbelief may be the same as those hearing Peter's words. Peter began his sermon with a public statement of Christ's resurrection. This was a hugely powerful statement because many of the people listening had been in Jerusalem during Passover and had either seen or heard about the crucifixion of Jesus.

The resurrection was the ultimate sign that what Jesus said about himself was true. As crazy as it sounds, are you a believer ... or disbeliever?

Ten Months

2009-07-30T08:26:00.003-05:00

A message from the SheepDog:

God is good… ALL THE TIME! It has been a little over ten months since my accident, and I wanted to give you an update on what’s happening.

As many of you know, I am now preaching every Sunday. It feels good to share the Word of God with you each week. I am getting stronger every day. I have stated in earlier messages that I have come a long way since my accident, but I still have a long way to go to full recovery. That is still true today.

I had a couple of surgeries in May. The first operation was on my left eye to center it and help improve peripheral vision. Then I had surgery on my right eye, which was sewn partially shut with two surgeries back in October and November to protect my cornea from drying out because my eyelid did not close completely. This time they reversed the two previous surgeries and put a gold weight in my eyelid to help me close my eye. I still must put ointment in my right eye four times a day to prevent my cornea from drying out, and I wear sponge goggles at night to help keep my eye shut while I am sleeping.

These two surgeries have helped my vision tremendously. I am now able to use my prescription eye glasses for the first time. I am still struggling with double vision because both eyes are not in sync with each other.
In addition, I also had surgery on my facial nerves. Because of the length of time that has past since the accident, there was little hope my nerves were going to regenerate in my face. The surgeon cut the 12th h nerve that controls the right side of my tongue and grafted it to the 7th nerve that controls the right side of my face. I was told it would take six months to a year before the results of this surgery would be noticeable. Last week I experienced some movement in the right side of my face for the first time.

In September, I will have another surgery on my right eye to help eliminate the double vision I am still experiencing. All this to say, “God is not finished yet.”

I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to you all. You have stood with me and my family, prayed with us, supported us in so many ways these last ten months. Your prayers, cards, words of encouragement have sustained us through it all. Pat and I have been blessed by just knowing you have been with on this journey. You have reached out to us in so many ways and expressed love and care. You have truly shown us the love of Christ through your actions. Thank you!

Through this entire experience, we have never doubted God’s presence or provision. Our faith and trust in the Lord has never been greater than it is today. We have grown closer to God, and closer to you as a result of where He has brought us thus far. Because of that, we can claim with the Apostle Paul, “We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves him.” {Rom 8:28, CEV}
God works in all things - not just isolated incidents - for our good. I can also tell you that this does not mean that all that happens to us is good. But it does mean that God s able to turn what happens to us around for our long range good. I had a nurse at elect Specialty Hospital tell me one day, “God is too righteous not to do right, and too wise not to do good.” Good words to live by. I thank God for each of you for how you have ministered to me and my family this past year. “We are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us.” {Rom 8:37}

If you want to send a note to Dad, send it here.

What Do You Get...?

2009-07-27T22:38:00.003-05:00

What do you get when you cross Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Jack Nicholson, John Maxwell, and that precocious little boy in grade school that always threw sand at you on the playground? You get one of my fraternity brothers from American University ... once a party guy ... now a family man ... top educator ... motivational speaker guy ... Dr. Danny Brassell! Can you say the Joel Osteen of Education?

Thanks to the wonders of FaceBook, a few weeks ago I noticed that this ATO brother was coming to Nashville to do what he does best! We hadn't spoken in at least 15 years. We made plans to meet for a bite to eat.

As we sat across from each other at dinner tonight, we laughed at all the good times we had in college. We talked about the curve balls life threw us, as well as the many blessings we've been given. We both agreed that our wives ... and children ... remain our greatest assets.

Danny stumps me during the conversation: "I'm a born again Christian."

"What you talkin' about, Willis?" I chuckle.

The next few hours are just like ... like ... like sitting on a mountain top on a cool summer night as a young kid with your best friend. No school tomorrow. No deadlines tomorrow. No meetings tomorrow. Just a world of ideas and dreams and passions.

How am I going to make a difference in the world? I keep coming back to that question all night long. I heard it growing up. I say it to my kids.

Here's the good news. I had a pen and paper in the car. I stopped on the way home. I pulled over on the side of road. I took notes.

Trust me ... I've got some ideas ... I'll make a difference! Will you?

Dear ... [State Your Name]

2009-07-10T17:38:00.007-05:00

Recently, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my lovely wife and five kids ... When do I have time to think about them? ... That's just it! Prior to last week, I have been detached from them due to some major work constraints. Whoever made the "quality time is better than quantity time" mantra is simply wrong! You need both. So ... here is what has been on my mind ...

Dear MyBeloved: You are amazing! I keep saying it. I've said it many times before. One of these days I'm gonna marry you! Well, today, just might be the day. Wanna git hitched? Seriously, I could not have made it through the past few months without you. Your strength. Your encouragement. Your subtlety. Your faith. Your smile. Your support. Your love. Thanks. BTW, Will you marry me?

Dear No.1 a/k/a MyPrincess: Just because I have not written about you here at G&G lately does not mean that I have forgotten about you. I wrote about you at BPCL instead. Have fun at camp this weekend and remember to make a difference in the world!

Dear No.2 a/k/a DillyBar: Dude, you rock! I cannot understand how you ... in less than 2 months ... have gotten more stars on SuperMarioWorld and more bananas on DonkeyKong than I got in four years of college. And despite your brain turning to mush from the video games, you are practicing your reading everyday and you are doing a great job! Remember the moral of the story of "The Grasshopper and the Ants"? I am so proud of you Little D!

Dear No.3 a/k/a AJ: I had a great time on our date last week ... even if Hannah Montana / Miley Cirus was there! And who knew that you could eat a whole tub of popcorn and a gallon of soda by yourself. AJ, it's hard being the middle child (...middle for now at least...) and I want to thank you for sticking with it. There's a reason why we named you Joy!

Dear No.4 a/k/a Faa-fer a/k/a Chee-Chu: Poop goes in the potty! Thanks for all the snuggles this past week. Your beautiful blue eyes melt me. But remember, poop goes in the potty!

Dear No.5 a/k/a "Zeee": Normal babies don't get up at 5:00am. Go to sleep!

Dear World: Thanks to the few of you who keep checking back in with G&G. If you remember anything from these posts over the past year, know that your family and friends are what it is all about on this side of the fence. I'm just one struggling Dad trying to find a good balance between work and home. But I am learning that it has nothing to do with the balancing act ... it has nothing to do with the teeter-totter of back-and-forth ... it has everything to do with living one life! My kids have used many a crayon on a legal brief at home. My kids have slept many a night on the floor of my office. My wife has listened to many a closing and opening argument ... and kept awake. Most of my struggles, though, come when these two worlds collide and I react foolishly. I raise my voice. I dig my heels into the sand. And I try to balance two worlds ... rather than living in one! My questions to you: Do you need to write a "Dear ____" letter? Do you need to tell someone you love them? Do you live in two worlds? Be strong.

Every Now and Then ...

2009-07-01T13:37:00.002-05:00

... you come across a picture that shows you are teaching them right!