Buenos Aires through my eyes

The Night of the museums...

2009-11-13T12:06:00.001-03:00

... Is tomorrow. So don´t miss it. There will be a lot of activities, a lot of them crappy, but mostly good stuff. Here you can read more about it.

The day of the cafes

2009-10-26T13:36:00.001-03:00

Today, the city is celebrating the existence of the the traditional cafes (we call them Cafes Notables). And usually when the government of the city wants to celebrate something, they hire some tango bands to play, and this is not going to be the exception.
The cafes notables are a must-see. So make sure you go to any of them during your stay. And remember that if you go today (monday 26th) you might also see a traditional tango orchestra or some tango dancing, or something tango related.

Where?
London City - Avenida de Mayo 599
6 Billares - Avenida de Mayo 1265
La Perla - Avenida Pedro de Mendoza 1899
Bar de Cao - Independencia 2400
El Preferido de Palermo - Jorge L. Borges 2108
Etc, etc (etc means, do your own research or pay for the information)

In a good mood

2009-09-27T23:04:00.005-03:00

Positive things about MY city

1. Nobody is too busy to pay attention to you.

That´s right. Even if you are trying to communicate in your "spanish", you have 98% chances that people will stop what they are doing to hear you mumbling. And there are great chances that they´ll understand what you want.

2. People say what they think in most occasions

For instance if we want to say: "stop doing that" we say "stop doing that" and not things like "I think that you don´t need to do that, it´ll be better for you" or " How interesting that thing that you are doing, I wonder how it´d be if you didn´t do it". We cut right to the chase.

3. People fall in love with you no matter if you own a car, house, money or if you are a starving artist.

I know, some people may argue this. But those are the same ones that pay for sex or are trying to date supermodels.

4. Your family and friends will always live close by.

Nobody has the courage to move far away (our mothers would die), so you´ll always celebrate your birthdays with all the people you love because they probably live around the corner.

5. Kids are accepted everywhere.

You´ve heard about a house party that you want to attend but you have nobody to leave your kid with? Bring him to the party, probably somebody else will bring kids too.

6. I live here

I make Buenos Aires a better place

Erotic BA

2009-09-23T09:45:00.002-03:00

In case you´ve traveled without your sexual toy (I´m sure you didn´t) or that you are looking to buy a new one, you are lucky, because you can go to the Xex Buenos Aires expo erotica.

What kind of things you can find there? Well, basically all the stuff that you need if you decide to stay every night at your hotel instead of checking out Buenos Aires nightlife.

They´ll be having people talking about sex, and sexy dancers, and everything that has the word sex in it.

When?

september 25 y 26 (it opens at 6 PM, it´s not a book festival)

Where?

Alsina 940

Tango Festival Starting Today

2009-08-14T11:25:00.002-03:00

Hi There, it´s been a while since my last post. So, Hello, I missed you, my people.

So, the Tango Festival starts today. This is THE tango festival, so make sure you attend any of the activities they will have. You have detailed info here.

Enjoy!

Salud!

2009-07-07T10:32:00.004-03:00

I´ve notices that with all the influenza thing the population of Buenos Aires has developed a new syndrome. The middle-aged-housewife syndrome (also called loser-without-a-job syndrome). This terrible disease consist in watching a lot of TV(specially the news) and buying every single crap that they say. If we have 100.000 people with Influenza N1H1, we have about 12.000.000 with a severe case of middle-aged-housewife syndrome.

The consequences are out there: people are travelling to uruguay to buy the miraculous Tamiflu (I don´t get it, why is it that a medicine that was made for the chicken flu also works with the pig flu? Does it work with any animal flu, or only with farm animals flu?), there are giant lines to buy alcohol, and the streets are a desert (for Buenos Aires standards).

But what bugs me the most is the reaction that a cough or a sneeze can provoke on the people with middle-aged-housewife syndrome. Oh my God! People get furious when someone sneezes, even if you cover your mouth. They give you a look like if you were urinating in public!!!

I have a cold, is winter, I sneeze, I cough and your ugly look is only going to make it worse. I´ll throw my tissue at your face. I´ll touch your eyeball with my infected hands. I´ll give you a french kiss. So please, leave me and the rest of the world that has a cold, alone. And if you are so paranoid, go to your house and enjoy your syndrome.

Apartment For Rent

2009-07-04T22:52:00.003-03:00

My friends are leaving the country and they need to rent their apartment.

These are the details:

Fully furnished two-story apartment for rent starting July 30th, in Palermo Queens/Villa Crespo, on streets Malabia and Castillo, 5 blocks from the B subway. Apartment has open kitchen, livingroom opening onto a balcony, two Bedrooms, one and a half baths, two balconies, and a private roof terrace with parrilla (BBQ) and lots of plants. The master bedroom has a walk-in closet with built-in shelving and drawers as well as a sliding glass door opening onto the balcony. The other bedroom has a huge closet again with built in storage space, and an entire wall of windows. Tons of sunlight. Brand new building with pool, gym, and laundry room. Parking available but not included. Rent is $1300 USD a month with all utilities and a cleaning service included.

Photos:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cherylyfacundo/sets/72157619516521693/

E-mail them at yogacheryl@gmail.com if interested

Influenza

2009-07-03T16:22:00.002-03:00

You are probably fully aware of the influenza thing going on. I mean the hysteria, paranoia and all that.

If you have tickets to a concert or you were planing to attend a soccer game you should check that it´s actually happening before you go.

You still have plenty of things to do (taking a bitch tour for instance).

see you

Buying Property in BA

2009-06-25T19:56:00.009-03:00

Before buying property in Buenos Aires, you have to think twice. And after you meditated for hours and you came to an affirmative answer, think twice again.

This are a few things that you should know:

1. Realtor: Realtors in Buenos Aires are among the nastiest, filthiest creatures in the world, right next to the guys that kill baby seals by hitting them with a stick. I don´t like generalizations (that´s a lie, I love love love generalizations), but in this case, lets just say that an honest realtor is only the exception that confirms the rule. When they say "I give you my word" in realtor's language this means "I´m sooooo screwing this foreigner, hahahhhahhahaha". You must check absolutely everything the realtor says. Is he/she saying "the apartment is in Palermo"? Go to a map and check it. Is he/she saying "the roof is part of the property"? Check it with the notary. Is he/she saying "There is another person interested in the property"? Then you have the certainty that you are the only person interested.

This is how realtors look like in BA

2. The notary. The notary must be someone completely separate from the realtor. If the realtor says that he/she can recommend a notary, make sure that you won´t ever call that person in your entire life. It doesn´t matter if you trust the notary that the realtor is offering. You need your own notary. Get it? Otherwise they will team up and screw you (and make fun of you while they celebrate with the commission they got from you)

3.The neighbors. Neighbors are a pain in every part of the world, sure. But here, they can totally make your life miserable. Make sure that you read and understand the rules of your building before you buy the apartment, otherwise, you might end up cleaning your neighbor´s butt because it´s written in the rules.

Meet the neighbors

4. The administrator of the building. Every single one of them (administrators of the consortium) is a piece of sh.... Here there are no exceptions. Your roof has a leak? The entire apartment is flooded? The rats ate your pet? He/she won´t give a damn. You might think, "but he/she must solve my problem, I´m paying for that". Get real! For these people, that kind of argumentation is a joke. You might wonder, "What should I do them?" Cry. Or kill.

This is an administrator I know

If you still want to buy property, this is what you HAVE to do:

Call a porteño friend that has nothing to do with the operation. This means, someone who will not make any profit from it. This person can´t be related in any way with

A.The realtor

B. The notary

C. The administrator

D. The owner of the apartment

That friend will be in charge of finding out in advance in which way they can screw you and his/her job will be to prevent you from that. Believe me, they can screw you in ways that your not-porteño mind couldn´t even dream about.

So, you don´t have a friend? It doesn´t matter, I´m offering a new service. ANTI-Porteños advice. I´ll be the person who will make sure that those bastards won´t rip you off.

If you are reading this and you´ve already been screwed by this people, please share your story.

Best luck. You´ll need it

Buenos Aires Polo Circo

2009-06-24T18:10:00.003-03:00

Hi, Next week there will be a Circus Festival here in the city. For what I know, this is the first official circus festival. Performers will come from all over the world to probably kick our circus artist´s butts.

Anyway, if you are interested here you will find more info:

http://www.festivalpolocirco.gob.ar/home09/web/es/events/index.html

A Musical Break

2009-06-22T14:42:00.003-03:00

From Tuesday to Friday, you can take a break from your tourist/business/student life and go to one of the following places to listen to live music.

Martes: Catedral Anglicana de San Juan Bautista (25 de Mayo 282)
Miércoles: Hall del Teatro San Martín (Corrientes 1530)
Jueves: Teatro Presidente Alvear (Av. Corrientes 1659)
Viernes: Plaza San Martín (Florida y Santa Fe)

All the concerts start at 1PM

Completely free

Till June 30

Topless Party

2009-06-10T12:53:00.003-03:00

That´s the name of the party that you should go to this saturday.

You: But am I really going to see topless girls?

Me: I have no idea. Just go. And then let me know how it was

You: But I don´t want to go if I won´t see boobs.

Me: Look, I´m sure that you have more chances to see boobies at this party than if you stay alone at your hotel/apartment/hostel/etc. Unless, of course, that you hire a hooker.

You: well, that was my plan, sort of.

Me: what´s the deal with man coming to BA to buy sex. I mean, it´s so easy to get laid in BA that paying for sex is like going to the ocean and pay for salty water.

You: Yes, but then you have to spend time seducing a girl and all that crap

Me: Talking to a topless drunk girl at a party doesn´t sound like something challenging for your manhood.

You: You are right, I´m going.

Me: Great.

Where:

This Saturday after midnight (technically Sunday) at:

El Especial

Cordoba 4391

Argentine Folkloric Music

2009-06-05T10:09:00.005-03:00

Every Friday, starting this week, there will be a series of open air concerts in San Telmo.

Everybody thinks Argentina equals Tango, but that´s not true, we have lot more to offer when it comes to folkloric music. So, just go and find out for yourself.

And if you go, please do me a favor. There are some dirty artisans hanging out in Plaza Dorrego selling their artless crap all night long. They are nasty, if they don´t sell anything, they start begging and if you don´t give them money, they insult you or even threaten you. Please, don´t even look at them, if they approach you just pretend that you don´t speak Spanish (probably that won´t be difficult for you to do, right?). If you happen to like their crafts and you want to buy anything, therefore, you need to communicate with them, don´t do it. Wait till the next day, till you are not drunk anymore.

This is in Plaza Dorrego, Located in Defensa corner with Humberto I - San Telmo.

Every friday till July 10th at 9PM

Have fun

ARTEBA

2009-05-22T11:12:00.003-03:00

The biggest contemporary art fair is open till Sunday. It is a good chance to see some local art and to measure how cool you are compared to all the hipsters that go every year to this event. If you are lucky, you might get an invitation to a crazy private party.

For more info: www.arteba.org

Now it´s your turn to see them suffering

2009-05-16T11:00:00.004-03:00

One of my favorite events in Buenos Aires is happening this afternoon. The waiters and waitresses of buenos aires are competing in a race where they´ll be wearing they uniforms and carrying a tray with a bottle and 2 full glasses.

The race starts at 3 at Avenidad de Mayo (between Bernardo de Yrigoyen and Tacuari).

If you´d had a bad experience with Buenos Aires service, this will be your time for revenge; I recommend to put some obstacles on their way.

See you there.

Need a job?

2009-05-11T14:13:00.002-03:00

Oh my God, who in the world would work for these people?

Published on Craig´s list:

Bartender & Wait staff

As we are opening our 2nd floor boliche we are epxanding our staff. The CasaBar is known for the having the hottest and most professional staff in Buenos Aires so we are extremely selective in our hiring practices. If you have applied with us previously please do not apply again. Walk-ins are also not welcome.

You must speak Spanish and English
You must have previous experience ( having attended a Buenos Aries bartending course is a cruel joke and thus means nada to us , nor does frat/sorotity house keg master experience ).
Be dynamic or go back to teaching Spanglish!

Send resume and recent photo. No resume or photo no interview. If uncle Craig does not let you send photo then you are not too clever and you wasted your parents or my tax dollars on an under used education.

The Casabar is "The" bar in Recoletta period and our bartenders make more money than any other bartender in Buenos Aires. Why? Because they are dynamic!

Week of the prostate in Buenos Aires

2009-05-09T12:39:00.002-03:00

You can get a free prostate exam at the hospital de clinicas. Isn´t that a great way to promote tourism?

Tango, beef and free prostate exams.

Buenos aires has a lot to offer...

Homeless Art

2009-05-02T10:41:00.005-03:00

One of my favorite organizations in BA ; Arte sin Techo ( it translates "roofless art") opened an exhibition a week ago and it´ll be open till May 21st. So, the artists are all homeless people who are taking free art classes (with free art supplies provided by the organization), and now they have the opportunity to show their work in one of the most prestigious art spots (that would be the Centro Cultural Recoleta).

By the way, the other day, I saw one of their murals all covered with "graffiti", and by "graffiti" I mean, illegible artless inscriptions with the name of bands that nobody wants to listen. For those graffiti writers who vandalized other people´s art I say:

Look, you are 25 yo at least, you damaged your brain because you have been drinking since you were 12. All the talent you had back in the day when you were 17 it´s gone, get real, it´s all gone. You are no longer a rebel, you are a brain damaged young person who destroys valuable art during the night. Instead why don´t you move out from your parents and get a job?

Everyday at Centro Cultural Recoleta- Junin 1930- Recoleta (yeah, close to your apartment/hotel)

Besos

Missing Dog

2009-04-19T11:32:00.003-03:00

Yesterday I saw a sign next to the front door of my condo and I almost cried.

It was about a missing dog. That is sad enough to make someone cry, but this sign was touching, this is what it said (well, a translation)

We Are looking for you, our Friend

You left yesterday trhough a window to explore the world and you didn´t come back.

You know that we can make it (return), you know the path.

Maybe someone saw you, and recognised you. That person can call us or visit our blog http://encontrandote.blog.com.es/

If you happen to see him, please let them know

Tango Classes

2009-04-03T14:42:00.003-03:00

I´m into Tango now. After living my whole life listening to Tango, having 100 friends who are Tango dancer, after seeing 20000 Tango shows, I decided to start dancing (well, learning how to dance). And this is the reason why :

This is my Tango teacher Ramiro. He is a really good teacher, not only a really hot guy.

I mean it, he IS the best teacher!

Group Classes

Mondays 9.30 PM at Danzario Americano - Guardia Vieja 3559

For Private classes or more info you can reach him at:

155-425-9214

ramirorosenvasser@gmail.com

Being a bad ass has it benefits

2009-03-22T20:14:00.004-03:00

My friends were rehearsing at Parque Centenario last week since they were selected to participate in a festival called "Danza en paisajes urbanos" (Dance is urban landscapes) so they were preparing a choreography to be performed in that same park. I went there to help them and I thought it was going to be difficult to find them, but I was able to spot them easily because they were surrounded by a group of policemen and park guards. Something was no OK.

Even though my friends had a permit to rehearse in the park, all this people were trying to kick them out of the park. After a while, they called the director of the park (the officer said, "OK, if you don´t want to understand what I´m saying, I´m calling the OWNER of the park). So, he came.

He seemed to be a reasonable guy at first. But he was not.

This is what he said : "Look, you are dancing here, walking on the benches, doing things that are not appropriate, and I cannot let you do that. If I let you do that, I have to let everybody else do it" (I thought OK, so you should kick out all the people that sleep, piss and poop in the park, otherwise I move in here tomorrow!).

My friends told him "but we have a permit. Actually the government is paying us to do this, we need to rehearse".

"I understand, but can´t you do a normal dance (???), not using the benches. The other day a guy,who also had a permit, came here and started dancing near the artisans, you know, they threatened him, they are bad asses, you cannot mess with them"

So, I wondered, how is it possible that they let a bunch of mafia guys sell their crap on the park, guys who have no problem in threatening a dancer who is also working there, but they don´t let artist do their thing (specially when they´ve been hired by the government, just like him)".

Next time, my friends should bring a knife or something, so they´ll be treated with respect.

And one thing fo you, Mr. OWNER-of-the-park, your park is not that great!

St. Patrick´s Day

2009-03-16T22:33:00.003-03:00

Tomorrow, as you all may know, is St.Patrick´s day.

The Irish community in Buenos Aires (I´ve never met any of them) is organizing a parade. Actually it´s going to be the first st.Patrick´s parade in Buenos Aires, because the Irish people and the Government of the city want to prove that it´s not all about drinking,

it´s also about marching bands, clovers and green stuff (yeah, right).

So, if you are into Irish culture, go to the parade. More info here.

If you don´t need to hide your dark intentions of drinking till you pass out, go to Reconquista street and all the area around the Kilkenny, and do your thing.

Please, if you go to the pubs at night, don´t forget to break bottles in the middle of the street, pick up a fight, and vomit in someone else´s shoes. We need to keep the tradition alive.

Have fun!

Don´t miss!!! Really, don´t even think about not going!!!

2009-02-27T22:36:00.004-02:00

A few years ago, the argentine producer Gustavo Santaolalla, organized a tango concert at the theatre Colon. I didn´t go but I saw the video "Cafe de los Maestros" (that you have to buy, and it was amazing. The musicians who played that day at the Colon were very old, a lot of them retired and in my opinion, the real thing. They don´t play Tango, the are Tango (I´m starting to sound like a bad magazine for tourist).

Anyway, They are playing tomorrow at el Planetario in Palermo, and it´s one in a lifetime opportunity. If you are in Buenos Aires and you don´t go, you are the worst loser ever. I didn´t go to the Colon when they played and a bunch of them died. I won´t be that stupid this time.

GO!!!

7.30PM at el Planetario

Flamenco Festival in Buenos Aires

2009-02-23T11:57:00.003-02:00

First Flamenco Bienal in Buenos Aires (from 2/23 to 3/1).

Is it going to be good? You might wonder. Well, I have no idea, but I think we should find out.

Click here for the info

Help children while you get drunk

2009-02-22T13:27:00.005-02:00

You are enjoying your vacations in Buenos Aires and lets face it, you are thinking more about taking than giving. It´s ok, I don´t blame you. You are worried about your own happiness and, after all you work every single day to get these free days (that you are now spending in BA).

But, here you have the best way to avoid the feeling of tourist who is taking advantage of a 3rd world country and drink yourself to death at the same time.

Club Acorn is organizing a pub crawl to raise money for children´s center in La Boca (Friday 27th at 10pm). You pay only 60 pesos and you get empanadas, pizza, and alcohol (all you can eat/drink) for an hour, and then the guys from acorn will take you to 3 different bars (where you´ll get discounted drinks) and you´ll finish the night in a club.

If you are interested please contact Club Acorn:

clubacorn@gmail.com

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