Stuff I typed

I'm done with this blog.

2008-06-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

No more DomesticOverlord, I'm done with that.

I so totally finished something.

2008-06-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I hauled ass on this scarf... for the last two days. I suddenly had a burning need for completion and, voila! Wavy is finally done. It has taken me so long that the intended recipient, Hercules, is actually making his second trip out here since I started it pretty soon. Okay, next month but hey, at least I finished it before he got here, right?

I really, really love this yarn (SKR Perth). It's machine washable, super soft, and squishy. It also comes in fantastic colors, though not as many as it really should once you take it's awesomeness into account.

I've been sewing lately since the purchase of my new machine. I love the machine it rocks. I've made a bunch of costumes for the kids for a trip I won't tell you about because of the suicidal depression and unbridled rage it will inspire. I've made myself a dress. And I made a new messenger bag for the world's largest woman since the only one who wouldn't look ridiculous carrying it would be her. And even still she might find it a bit much. Stupid pattern, it looked fine in pieces but then it just GREW.

I'm trying to finish up things that are just lying around here, like the Wavy. I'm on to the little sweater for the barber's baby now. I'd put it down for a mistake I made in the eyelets 10 rows previously and can't fix without ripping. Clearly, I'm not ready for a lace shawl like, ever. Kids always distracting me so I end up with shirts with only one armhole and whatnot. They better put me into a damn good home later for all I've put up with. This week they both broke their glasses. BOTH! He snapped his in half and she tried to eat hers. Thank me (yes me) I bought the warranty.

So hey, remember me? I knit sometimes.

2008-04-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

I had a brilliant blog post all written out in my head last night, you think I can even remember a word of it now? Hell, I don't even remember what it was about.

This is my first completed project of this year. Twinkletoes from knitty. Miss Beans asked me for some ballet shoes last weekend and being totally broke but having a ton of the yarn you see there (from my failed Crumpets, if you're my one long time reader) I whipped up those little babies on Friday evening and Saturday afternoon while hanging around in the ninth bolgie of the eighth circle of Hell (also known as Chuck E. Cheese's).

They turned out cute but a little small so I'll have to make another pair. She loves them though, she's barely taken them off to let me wash them and has even slept in them twice.

In other knitting news: I received a large portion of Andean Treasure for my birthday which will become a Tangled Yoke Cardigan. I'm still working on that damn Wavy for Hercules because I hate it and don't want to do it anymore. Why do scarves have to be so l o n g ? I'm working on a little baby set for the soon-to-be-baby-girl of RTK and Darth's barber who is a very cool guy. If you're in San Diego and need a barber, I can't recommend Lefty's enough.

As far as news about my life... Well, it's never pretty, is it? My son got glasses so that's both kids are in glasses now. Neither RTK nor I wear glasses so we're a little baffled as to how that worked out. Our rent is going up so along with the price of gas and groceries we could really use a raise we're not going to get. You'll probably see me on the news when my moneymaking scheme goes horribly, terribly wrong.

That's about it for the moment. Except, I've been collecting yarn for the Alpaca Lounge Pants and I think I've almost got enough. If I start them soon they should be ready for Autumn.

Sewing disaster averted.

2008-03-13T09:17:00.001-07:00

You know how I can't sew? How the thought of sewing makes me cringe? How whenever I have to do it (even though I usually volunteer) I complain and complain about it? Well, not today. Today I present a completed sewing project that only took about three hours from start to finish. I think. Uh, well I guess it was longer, I had to iron the fabric. It doesn't matter. The point is. I recovered the hideous old pillows that sit on my living room couch. It may not sound like much but there are six of them and they are rather large (two feet by two feet).

This project made a horrible mess. It turns out the pillows are feather pillows and they were starting to shed a bit. Duck down was escaping from the actual pillows into the decorative cases which led to my living room looking like Huey, Dewey, and Louie had murdered old man McDuck for those millions (and his monocle!). Also they were full of dust. It was a very sneezy time for awhile while I was ripping those things apart. Can you put awhile and while next to each other in a sentence? Well, I did.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Who brags about making pillows? Woohoo, you sewed a square, way to accomplish the ordinary! And you're right. Most people wouldn't brag about making pillows. Then again most people haven't sewn their fingernail into a Halloween costume while it was still attached to their hand. Most people don't consider their sewing machine their nemesis. Most people don't spend hours on the simplest of projects begging for the sweet, sweet release of death. You see I am no ordinary woman. And for my encore I'm going to try to make a purse. GASP! That's right. I even bought a pattern (the orange one in the corner, my version will be blue with robots on it).

Booyah.

Yes, I am the last person on earth still saying Booyah. It's me and Cyborg and he got canceled.

The fabric that you see in the trash bag there is the old stuff, unattractive and cigarette stained from a previous owner. The close up of the new fabric which is a printed bark cloth called Beatnik from Big Kahuna.

Still here.

2008-01-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

They trimmed the palm trees outside my windows this week. You may not think that palm trees can obscure a view (if you can call the parking lot a "view") but I assure you that when the top of the tree is level with a window that Suessian poof at the top can really get in the way. I haven't seen a thing but palm leaves out my window since September. "What's the point of this?" you wonder? Well let me tell you the very first thing I saw out my window, if only I'd snapped a picture, where was my mind?

Yesterday, in the parking lot of my apartments, a man in a pink bathrobe gesturing wildly with his cigarette holder was conducting a heated conversation with two men in a gold Lincoln Navigator. Now, this was not a Navigator with a simple gold paint job, this was a a highly custom, why-god-why!? kind of paint job where the paint wasn't the color of gold but merely a clear substance gold glitter could be suspended in. This vehicle also had gold detailing and gold rims. It was like the sun became a vehicle and parked downstairs; Apollo's chariot if he was a real ostentatious 'playa', if you will. Inside this monstrosity were two men, the driver was wearing a cowboy hat and the passenger had on red and white stripes of some kind.

So I did what anyone would do when faced with such a preposterous scene: I took out the trash so I could walk by and get a closer look.

Upon further inspection I found that Guy in the Hat was clearly one of those guys who dress up in the fancy cowboy suits but has probably never even seen a cow. His hat likely cost more than a month's rent at my apartment (in California that's saying a lot), and I don't even want to speculate what is crazy, gold and gemstone bolo tie cost. The passenger was wearing a Chivas jersey. And hat. And probably pants and shoes also declaring his love for the team. (Side note: some of the Chivas jerseys have 'Bimbo' printed on them. Bimbo is kinda like Hostess. It's still hilarious to see guys walking around in their sports jerseys with the word bimbo on it though.)

The most disturbing thing of all about this scene once I got up close? The guy with the silver cigarette holder (which contained an unlit cigarette, BTW) was wearing the same fuzzy pink chenille bathrobe I have. I wonder if his aunt bought his for him, too.

Well, this sucks.

2007-11-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

RTK got laid off yesterday. I can't say I'm not worried about the money but I'm even more bummed that he lost a job that he really liked.

Speaking of money, I've put up a button. I'm not saying you have to click on it or give me money but if I entertain you then feel free to put a dollar in the cup. I'll dance for it. But if you want me to take my top off that costs more.

Now I feel obligated to be entertaining. Crap. Uh... There once was a man from Nantucket... Stop me if you've heard this one.

A day in the life.

2007-11-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

I'm totally cheating. This is a day in the life of the sun. And just to be an even bigger cheater, it's not starting at sunrise but sunset and then sunrise followed by midday, because that's the order I took the pictures in. (Click on the pics for larger versions.)

I took these during the fires. This first picture was taken in Ocean Beach at sunset on October 21. We had out of town guests, Garrison Keilor and Hercules, and had taken them down to the pier to show off a west coast sunset (also we had hopes to hit up a geocache but it wasn't meant to be). When I took these we had just found out about the fires and the ash was just starting to accumulate in the air. At this point we had no idea how bad it was going to be and were just enjoying the way the smoke affects the sunset. It really does incredible things with the color and the light.

What I think is cool about these pictures is that they were all taken at the same time, in the same place and yet the color is completely different because of the different angles the photos were taken at. Also, they look out of order because I didn't get the sun in the second one and for some reason it looks higher in the horizon in the third one than in the first one. I don't know what I was doing with the camera other than panicking that I was running out of batteries. It was mesmerizing though. I'm glad we decided to take the guys to that spot to watch the sunset, I'm not sure what it would have been like elsewhere in the county. That pier was just perfect. The fires were terrible but what a spectacle.

This is so San Diego, right here. Half the county is on fire, let's go surfing! I'm joking (sort of), like I said at this point it had only just started and no one thought it would be anything like it was in 2004, lettalone worse.

Lettalone is a word isn't it? My spell check is pitching a fit about it. Whatever. Spell check can suck it.

After I shot these pictures we went and got the kids some McDonalds and headed back to the house for Munchkin Cthulhu and general not paying attention to the emergency situation at hand. I ended up getting eaten by Dread Cthulhu a couple times and went to bed only to be woken up by Red Todd Kidd a half hour later informing me that the fire thing was kinda important. I ignored him and went back to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning the smoke was thick enough in the air that you could look directly at the sun, just like in 2004.

After dropping off RTK at work I snapped this picture of the sunrise from the gas station right by my apartment (it was $3.01 for regular that day, I wish it would go back to that, I payed 3.11 the other day).

Have you ever had the opportunity to look directly at the sun? It's absurdly strange. I find that I have a fundamental urge to shield my eyes even though there's no need. I've never seen a sunrise that looked so much like a sunset as that one, early in the morning the sky was purple instead of brown with ash and smoke, that came later.

You wouldn't think the sun could look so small and insignificant as this but there it is.

This one was taken at about 3pm on October 22, directly over my apartment. The sky was orange almost all day, about an hour after this you couldn't even see the sun anymore because the smoke was too thick. It was an entire day of otherworldly, dingy twilight like being in some steampunk novel with ash raining out of the sky for several days and starting to collect on anything that was still, like I imagine snow probably does. Postapocalyptic San Diego.

So there you have it, a day in the life of a smoke filled sky.

Ru-Paul and Other Distractions. (Blogstalking week 4 AND 5)

2007-10-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

I hate traffic, my filthy windshield, and sunrise.

Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, let me tell you about what I love. What I love is things that are completely random. Like this weekend. This was a hella random weekend. Friday night I was out with Lucky. It was an entire night devoted to driving around to creepy places. Those creepy places included the most enormous cemetery ever to go completely unnoticed by everyone I've asked about it. This place is HUGE. I can't even begin to explain the extreme largeness. As a matter of fact it's actually two cemeteries that sort of run into each other and three mausoleums. One of the mausoleums is a three story building that at first we thought couldn't possibly be what it was, it was just too big. The other two are smaller two story deals though smaller is a completely relative term, they're still larger than most suburban apartment complexes in this area. The thing that's so crazy random about the place is that it's on two main roads and yet no one seems to know it's there.

We also hit up an apartment building that Lucky says would be his top choice for locations to shoot a slasher flick in. I agree, the place is like a tiny Winchester mansion. The stairs alone are just bizarre (two sets right next to each other that never intersect and you can't see one from the other but they lead to the exact same spot) then you throw in exterior walls on the inside of the building, a rickety fire escape, all the blind corners (and by that I mean all the corners are blind corners, I bet it makes moving in and out a bitch) a great view of the city, and the fact that you never see any of the residents of the place and you've got yourself a movie. I wish I had thought to bring my camera but that's the theme of the weekend, randomness and me kicking myself for forgetting the camera.

Saturday we went to the barber shop and they invited us to their anniversary shindig that night. Red Todd Kidd and I tried to find a sitter but couldn't so he bade me take up with Kaylee and go forth to this rockabilly show. So we did. Adventure ensued.

First we went to the Tower Bar where this thing was taking place. They were playing the most campy and strange D-movies on the tv in the corner, almost everyone in the place was drinking tall boys of PBR, and the whole place looked like a casting call for West Side Story 2 (Which I'm sure would have the same basic plot as West Side Story except it'd be set in present day and the tension would be between hardcore rockabilly kids and apathetic emo hipsters fighting over who gets to be pretentious in the town's diviest dive bar. Then one pretty little cutting emo girl in horn rim glasses with no prescription and an outfit that probably cost $300 trying to get it to look like it came from a thrift store locks eyes with a vintage car driving, leather jacket wearing, James Dean wannabe who clearly spends most of his time on ebay looking for vintage pomade to rock in his pompadour and doomed romance blooms, I hate to spoil the ending for you but they both die, she slits her wrists with one of his vintage Elvis records then he puts her dead body in the car with him and drives off a cliff). Kaylee and I sat there, sat there, sat there, watched a reenactment of the Outsiders when a rumble broke out just near the door, sat there, sat there, sat there, got drinks spilled on us, sat there, sat there, and sat there. Since after all that sitting the band STILL hadn't gone on and it was damn near midnight, we took off.

We had a mind to head to this piano bar Kaylee's been talking about but we never made it there. You see, we got caught up in a weird midnight traffic fiasco that was being caused by some random side street being blocked off. As we were stopped we heard an amplified voice ring out through the night, "Yes, hello everyone! I'm Ru-Paul Superstar of the world!" (or whatever the hell that catchphrase of his is) and we decided we had to find out if it was really him. So we parked around the corner and wandered back to discover some charity event drag show with Ru-Paul on stage in a wig he'd clearly gotten at Dolly Parton's last yard sale and more pink sequins than I thought existed this side of Key West. Spectacular. Truly. But we were hungry and our curiosity was sated so we left and stumbled on to a little 24 hour diner where we spent the next hour eating the most awesome sandwiches and talking to three complete strangers about porn among other things. After that I was drunk dialed by The Cowardly Lion who simply read me the definition of drunk dialing followed by the definition of a booty call. So we went over to his house and hung out with him and his wives for a little bit. Yes, I said wives, they've been watching too much Big Love over there.

Sunday was for geocaching with the family which was pretty cool, actually. RTK's been on me to try it out for awhile so we got a GPS and went and did one. The kids loved it. I'd go into more detail but my fingers may fall off from all the typing. I'll blog some pics of that another day.

Anyway, the three things I love (in case you don't get the pictures): October, my daughter trying to throw up the horns, and National City Municipal Code 11.68.050 which prohibits "cruising" and leads to those goofy signs all up and down Highland Avenue, it always cracks me up.

Also you'll see my blogstalking week 5 assignment which requires I photograph a statue. I found this copse of angels quite by accident in the aforementioned giant cemetery when Lucky and I went back Sunday afternoon. Technically you're not supposed to photograph people's headstones but I cropped out the ones you could read. The statues stand out because the whole area they're in is plain as hell except this group of statues all crowded together like some sort of saint convention.

Voodoo Doll injury and Robert Plant's trousers.

2007-10-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

I seem to have knit myself out of commission. The last two fingers of my right hand cramp up every time I try to work on my project. Either the fine gauge and dense knit fabric have played havoc with my digits or the bad juju of Bad Juju is upon me. I'm leaning toward the latter since the last thing I did was accidentally put a leg where an arm should be. Maybe I'm careless, maybe I'm cursed, it doesn't really matter the end result is the same.

As you may recall, or if you use those tag things and actually go back and read old posts, I had said I'd never knit Bad Juju again. You see, the thing is, I'm lazy. Even though this pattern isn't really the best and even though it has a lot of stuff I'd rather do another way, I really don't feel like trying to alter or rewrite it. So, I'm knitting it again (and again) even though I don't like it because I am seemingly under its spell. I really hope this doesn't lead to a life of knitting voodoo dolls and then possible raising of zombies that will ultimately destroy me and take over the earth. That would suck but Zanti and OLPP might worship me. Although I'm pretty sure Holly Bee would come kill me. But it's cool if she did, I'd totally have it coming. Seriously.

So to pass the time I'm listening to copious amounts of Led Zeppelin (a little aside, PennyKarma sent me a version of Stairway to Heaven done by Dolly Parton that is really outstanding, truly it boggles the mind) and working on a story. And occasionally going over to You Tube and watching Robert Plant wander around on stage with his shirt open. Is it hot in here? I don't even like blondes. What a shame I missed the 70's. Oh, how I would have followed that band around like Vic from Almost Famous. Did I have a point because I seem to have lost it down Robert Plant's trousers.

How do you get from there to here?

2007-10-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

Across the asphalt, pools of it everywhere, dark as tar with the sheen of obsidian it reflected the light of the waning moon back at me menacingly, as a murderer might brandish a knife. It seemed unfathomable that other children would play in it, splash it at one another, and most disturbing of all leap right into the middle of a lake of that caustic substance. How could they jump in when they couldn’t see through it? How could they trust that it was only a few inches of water when in darkness it became something so much more? How come no one else knew, as I did, that at night they ceased to be simple puddles and became insidious dark water portals waiting roil over and consume the careless child who stepped in when no one was looking?

I have no idea how I got here.

Chaos+Handbag=Aventure

2007-09-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

Why the hell would anyone want to see what's in my bag? I'm just glad you caught me on a day when I didn't have a half eaten food product or something in it. As you can plainly see from the photo, I have chaos in my bag. I never know what's in it or what I've forgotten. I dumped all that crap on the floor, took a picture and then scooped it all back in. The only difference between what's in it at this moment and when I took the picture is that I realized my sunglasses were missing and put them back in the bag.

That's right, I didn't take the opportunity to put away that pattern and/or the stitch markers. I didn't throw out those receipts. I didn't even throw away that trash that's clearly labeled, "trash" in the photo. That's because I don't care. It's also because the only surprises that I get on most days are what I do or do not find in that bag. It's like a jungle expedition but slightly more and less dangerous. The suspense of it! Will enough digging yield the hair tie I desperately need so I can roll down the car window without my hair whipping perilously in my face? Is there a lollipop to bribe the dreaded Lola Monster with so the trip to the laundromat will not bring her demise by throttling? Did I actually remember my wallet now that I have this cart full of groceries? Holy crap! That guy has the world's lamest vanity plate! Where's my camera? Adventure, my friends. Adventure.

Edit 10:44am: I found a half eaten waffle in there. Figures.

Taking my advice from webcomics

2007-09-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Chances are if you're actually reading my blog you've probably seen this comic strip. I've decided to take the advice of the charming net nerd in the last frame and started up a scarf. Not even a new one, one I've already done before. You see, I need a confidence builder after the unmitigated disaster that was the Victorian Lace Today Cap Shawl. It was truly disgusting what I did to that poor yarn. As a matter of fact, I should get rid of the yarn altogether so I'm not tempted to try again. Seriously, I need like, a lace-weight intervention or something.

So now I'm working on a Wavy in a deep and mysterious forest green. It's far more mysterious than in my totally pro photo at left. It's like Darkest Africa. That's what I would call it if I got to name the colors. But I don't get to name the colors so it'a actually called 'Shade 220' which just doesn't have that same ring to it. It looks viney. Is viney a word? My spell check says, "No," but I don't care what my spell check has to say about it. Shut up spell check! Stop trying to tell me how to live my life, you computers don't own me yet! I'm still free, the robots will never take me alive! Wow, this is some good coffee this morning.

What was I talking about? Ah, yes, the scarf. I'm committing a cardinal knitting sin on this one. Not only am I knitting this for someone who asked me to make them a scarf BUT ALSO it's for a guy I've never actually met. I justify this because I've spoken to him on the phone many times and he entertains the hell out of me and if GK will vouch for him (he's his roommate, hence how I sorta phone-met the guy) then he's got to be a good guy. In any case he's getting a scarf since he was really excited about the one I sent GK some months ago. I do like to be flattered.

I think this project will go a little better than my other recent ones. In a bit of divine providence I accidentally chose a color the guy really likes. Okay, I've got to stop calling him 'the guy', I mean I'm knitting for him he should get a name right? Uh... Hercules. So I'm knitting Hercules a scarf. Awesome.

The yarn for this is really fantastic. It's a machine washable (it's for a guy, I have no illusions about how it will be treated) wool blend. SKR Perth, it's 70% merino and 30% acrylic and you can put it in the dryer! It's really soft, squishy, and the stitch definition is great. I'm totally in love with the stuff.

And finally does anyone read and write well in Greek? I could use a bit of assistance with something...

This is me

2007-09-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to actually blog once in awhile, like at least weekly. I joined up the knitty blogstalking ring (over there in the left side bar there's a button thingy for it). This week's assignment is "Who am I?". Personally, I find that a bit existential for: a) a blog post, b) a weekend (yes, I'm totally running late as usual), c) the very first blogstalking post but then again, I just used the word thingy, so who am I to judge?

I actually spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to post and I really couldn't come up with anything clever. I thought about posting pictures of Imperial Beach where I grew up or some significant item I have lying around but just went around in circles. The one thing that kept coming up is a place I've never been inside of, that I have no tangible connection to. There's a salt works on a side street over by the bay that just fascinates me. I'm not sure what it is about the place that I find so appealing but I love to drive by it. I prefer it when the sky is a steely grey but this morning's minor rain didn't leave behind any real clouds.

In any case, this is me:

I love the way this place, though still in constant use, looks abandoned. I love the little stalactites of salt that hang down from every awning like Southern Californian icicles. The reflection in the water, the peeling paint, the rusting equipment. I just think it's beautiful. Or, at the very least, compelling.

I don't know why it seems to sum me up but it does. I think I may have misunderstood the assignment...

I quit and stuff.

2007-08-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

I quit football last night. I don't want to talk about it.

My post from yesterday was published before I finished it and now I've forgotten where the hell I was going with what I was saying.

I still haven't ripped back to my lifeline on the Cap Shawl. I don't want to have to. It's like if I just wait long enough, when I come back to it, it will have the correct number of stitches.

I started the fronts of FIL's sweater but since I'm sure it's going to be way too big I'm not really thrilled with it and have started to avoid it.

I have nothing interesting to say.

Awesome.

More of the same

2007-08-06T13:25:00.001-07:00

Tonight is my first football practice without the other coaches. I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do. I'm seriously apprehensive and I'm thinking taking this on was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. I've been trying to read up on drills and such but my mind wanders to other places. I wish I could find some good coaches to help me that will actually come every day. There seem to be a lot of people who want to help but they can't devote the amount of time that's needed. I'm listening to Benny Goodman and trying to calm down. I do love Benny Goodman.

Red Todd Kidd left his performance review from work out on the computer desk and I don't know if I should look at it or not. It's bugging me. I mean, he left it *right there* but at the same time it would bug me if he read my stuff without asking. Okay, I won't read it. I'll just turn it over and try not to stare so hard I get x-ray vision.

Went out and waxed philosophical about life with Lucky last night. He got fired and now feels, more acutely, the lack of direction he's been suffering. I told him to write a novel. The guy tells a fantastic story. You could ask him to tell you about the last time he did his laundry and an hour later your sides will be sore from laughing and you'll be shocked a whole hour has gone by.

I love Tiger Balm.

2007-07-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

I have been absent because I now coach 5-7 year olds at flag football. It may kill me. Not from the stress like I thought but from the fact that I have to demonstrate all the drills to the kids. Sometimes several times. Until Monday I don't think I'd ever done lunges IN MY LIFE yet there I was doing lunges for 15 yards and then back 15 yards WITH EACH KID. My legs hurt. The third quarter earnings of Tiger Balm, Advil, and Kleenex will skyrocket thanks to me. I hate it. I don't want to coach football. I want someone to come up to me and say, "Hey there, thanks but I know what I'm doing and I'd like to take over." Oh, how I would thank that unnamed stranger.

Cpurl has tagged me with the first meme I can't respond to in kind. The challenge was to show off where you keep your handknit socks. Though I have knit at least 5 pair of socks I don't actually have any. I give them away. Mostly to my son who loves handknit socks and requests them for his birthday every year. So I guess, I keep my handknit socks on my blog since it has all the photos of my long gone knits.

Underpants

2007-06-29T14:49:00.001-07:00

When you buy new underpants and take it out of the package, do you always think: There's no way that will fit me! People could camp under that! Only to find they are, in fact, the correct size?

And suddenly I try to save the day (again).

2007-06-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went and signed up Darth for flag football. When we arrived they told us that the team was full but that there were almost enough kids for a second team. Eight people had signed up to assist the coach of said team but no one had signed up to be Head Coach, which they must have to have a team. Somehow I volunteered. I think this was probably stupid.

I'm really not sure why I do these things. Why do I always want to save the day? Why do I stay up all night making crazy birthday cakes or injure my hand trying to make the best cupcakes ever? Why do I have to make homemade gifts? Why do I wait until the last minute to do everything? Why the HELL did I just sign up to coach football for 5 year olds?

Deep breath, it's only practices 5 days a week for two weeks and 3 days a week after that with games on Saturdays. It only requires that I get re-certified in first aid and CPR and that I complete at least 6 hours of training clinics. I only have to teach 5-7 year olds in untold numbers how to play a sport I have never actually played (with rules anyway). I only have to deal with 8 dads who didn't step up to coach and will now resent that I did. You know, no big deal.

I'm insane.

So I'm going to knit Enrelac's sock this week. I will have it completed by next week. I will. It has been decided. This is for three reasons. #1 She loved the first one, hooray! So I'm excited and want to get her the second one. #2 Football season is going to be starting and when it does my knitting will go on hiatus for awhile. #3 I still have knit my FIL a sweater before his birthday in August.

To reiterate: I'm insane.

It should be fun to watch me self destruct though, right?

Today is a musical day. A crappy musical.

2007-06-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

I've had songs in my head all day today. Early this morning I was assaulted by Kansas as I checked out a friend's MySpace page. Carry on My Wayward Son was the song of the morning until it was replaced by Punkrocker by the Teddybears on my trip to pick up Darth from school. Just now an ad (for this website) on the side of some webpage caught my eye and suddenly, though no audible music was about, 2 Live Crew filled my ears with their ode to Hoochie Mamas the world over.

It's going to be days before the jumble in my brain stops going "Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I'm dreaming, I can hear them saaaaaaaaay: She ain't nothin' but a hoochie mama! Hoodrat, hoodrat, hoochie mama! 'Cause I'm a punk rocker yes I am. Well, I'm a punk rocker yes I am..." Because I don't just get songs stuck in my head, they go in there and it's like a blender where they get sampled and compiled and turned into a crazy mishmash of crap that doesn't even make sense to me.

This hasn't been the best of days anyway. RTK and I were fighting but are now resolved. My shoes came via Fed Ex but didn't fit. I can't find my sunglasses. Nothing is really tragic but all together it's pretty annoying. Oh crap! I just realized I never got the meat out of the freezer to defrost! My house is messy and I really don't feel like cleaning it. My kids are whiny. I'm whiny. Hey at leat I've got some beer in the fridge. No wait, that's root beer. I just can't win.

If tomorrow isn't any better I'm totally punching it in the face.

*If you google (image search) the terms Hood Rat and Hoochie Mama you actually come up with a couple of knit blog posts. I cracked up. Here's Hood Rat and here's Hoochie Mama.

I made stuff. Lots of stuff.

2007-06-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

My road trip dissolved into the ether of unrealized dreams. Alas, it was not to be.

So anyway, I actually do knit. In fact my lack of blogging has been because of a tremendous amount of knitting. As evidence I will now submit pictures of what I've been up to as well as a few pictures of FOs I hadn't gotten around to posting for some odd reason even though I finished them MONTHS ago. As always, click on the pictures for larger versions.

First up we have Unbiased done in Patons Soy Wool Stripes that was a gift for Irie for her graduation. I have made Unbiased twice before in sari silk and have yet to really perfect this pattern. I have intentions to line this for Irie at my earliest convenience which will be sometime around 2022 when Lola graduates from high school. Anywho, the vital stats: Patons SWS. Britany Birch needles in size 8. Pattern alterations: Only increased to 5.5 inches so I'd have a narrower deeper bag.

I actually did the whole purse in two days, in between casting off Entrelac's first sock and casting on the second.

Lastly, when you seem this up in the weird order that I did you actually get something that looks like a giant goofy bra for a minute.

Next up we have the Socks I'm knitting for Entrelac (Pattern from Folk Socks by Nancy Bush). I have finished the first one and am starting to panic that they don't fit so the sock you see here will be wining its way out to Texas for a fitting to ease my mind or make me cry depending on the outcome. At least it's cute, right? It's my first bit of Fair Isle type work and I'm in no hurry do do anything more ambitious. I'm very pleased with the way the first one has turned out and I'm hoping Entrelac really likes them when they're all done. She and I both live in the country's "No Sock Zone" but knitted socks are just too tempting.

I love contrasting toes, they make your feet look smaller.

And now the last two little projects I had been forgetting to post: Dashing and My So Called Scarf (which I have had bookmarked for years with nary the right yarn nor occasion) both out of Lorna's Laces Shepard Worsted in Mineshaft and both for my friend GK. I actually knit these up for him when he was going through a really hard time and had no heat in his house (he's in Pennsylvania). By the time I finished them it was spring and he had heat again. I've had these stuffed in a care package box that I keep forgetting to finish filling and mail. If only it were the thought that counted, eh?

The scarf was done on size 11 Britany birch needles and only one glaring error was made. I didn't fix it so if you feel like it you can stare until you find it, it'll be like a really uninteresting Where's Waldo picture only instead of a cute drawing you're searching for my failure! Who could deny the fun of that?

The wristies were done on Clover bamboo needles in size 7. I actually finished these up at the San Diego knitty meet up. Pomegranate has pics of them somewhere I think, I had forgotten my camera.

I apologize for the shitty photos. I know pics of FOs just lying about really suck but I have no model today, Iman didn't show up and they gave Tyra her own show and I just didn't feel like trying to track down Kate Moss or Fabio because she's annoying and he's always trying to take stuff from the shoots.

It's going to be epic.

2007-06-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Lucky Champagne is picking me up at 7am (yes, on a Saturday) so we can go on a road trip. Our road trip was supposed to be a weekend and it was supposed to be to our friend's bar in Arizona. Now it's just Lucky driving to wherever we can get to and back by the end of the day tomorrow. It would not surprise me if we end up at the Center of the World. I know he wants to go take some paint to the guy at Salvation Mountain. Hooray, a field trip to the zealot swindler's place! Actually I know it will be fun because it will be something different to do. Plus funny crap just always happens to Lucky. I have no idea what tomorrow will hold, I'm just along for the ride.

I will be taking my camera so hopefully I'll get some amusing pictures.

I had hoped to show you one finished sock for Entrelac today but I totally fucked up the toe (all because I was totally caught up in that cinematic masterpiece The Brothers Grimm) and had to rip it out so you have to wait. Not that I expect anyone was falling all over themselves in anticipation. Oh, and since a few people have asked the pattern came from Folk Socks (Welsh Country Socks), I didn't come up with it. I did modify it a bit though.

I'm no Eunny.

2007-05-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

But of course, that should be obvious. I mean, come on, my knitting is not even close to on a par with hers (I have two kids to watch, if I knit up lace they'd haul me away for neglect) and my photography leaves a hell of a lot to be desired (and much the time it leaves most of the work to your imagination).

I mentioned that I was knitting socks FOR a knittyboarder whose screen name is Entrelac. I have been asked several times now how my Entrelac Socks are going. I have never knit entrelac so I really don't think I'll be introducing myself to the technique with knee socks! Lord, I can barely find the time, tenacity, and inclination to knit a pair of plain old socks letalone knee socks, letalone ENTRELAC knee socks! You people expect too much from me (and by 'too much' what I mean is 'anything, anything at all').

Now I feel bragging about my very first bit of colorwork is going to be a letdown. Oh well, I'm going to do it anyway, far be it from me to not gloat about an accomplishment. Go back and look at that first pic again to see my very first attempt at colorwork! Okay so it's not really my first attempt, my first (and second and third) attept was ripped out so I could get a nice even band that wasn't to tight to stretch. I wanted to make sure these things will fit (Jaywalkers taught me to always double check). After I did the colored band I knit a few rounds, put it on waste yarn and pulled it up my leg to see how far it would go. I got it past my knee. I am certain that it will fit. Ooh, I hope they fit! I want these to be awesome. It helps that I have great yarn. I'm using Wildfoote again. It makes a really lovely fabric on size 1 needles. SOme people think it's too splitty but I love it anyway. The colors shown here are Black Licorice and Purple Splendor (which is a tweedy yarn with some blue in it).

Now, I have to tell you about the fabulousness that came in the mail today. The lovely Miss Entrelac for whom the above socks are being knit, sent me some of her famous stitchmarkers. These are not the plastique kind I usually use, oh no! These are better than most of my jewelry (and more useful, although I have used a dangly earring as a rowmarker but...). Anyway, the fabulous markers featured in these pictures are made of niobium wire and the beads are hematite, except the larger beaded markers which are sterling and hematite. I could just swoon, couldn't you? I only wish I could take a picture that would really show them off. Even with the macro function on my camera the best I could do was an exquisite photo of the woven detail of my tablecloth (though it is a nice one, it repels liquid, really it just stays beaded up and wiped right off).

Jealous?

At least 7.5 random things about California.

2007-05-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

I challenged Bezzie and now I shall have to make good on my deal.

1) The Center of the World is in Felicity, California. I have never been there durring hours when it's open but Edina and I have climbed to the top of it and also pulled open the double doors to get inside after hours. They made those things lock into each other but not bolt into the ground, if you yank hard enough they just come open. Of course, they may have fixed that by now and it's not like there's anything inside it to take or anything so maybe they weren't worried about it. Eh, here's a photo from a postcard that some guy got on his trip. I have no idea if that girl got the duck at The Center of the World or if they just have a random duck walker or something. It's a weird place, who knows.

2) The largest and oldest wooden building in California is the Hotel Del Coronado on the island of Coronado here in San Diego county. It is also the second oldest remaining Victorian resort in the world. One time my buddy Dan and I wandered around the Del for several hours while he pretended to be a tourist of undefined Eastern European or Germanic origin. He kept shouting about shoddy American beer ("I have been in your country three weeks and have not yet been drunk! What is this piss you call beer!?") and asking people if they knew where they sold hot nuts (The Del used to sell hot roasted peanuts but must have stopped sometime before that particular trip). Also, most locals refer to it as The Del as opposed to The Coronado, which make no linguistiacal sense really.

3) This is a real street sign that is used on numerous freeways around San Diego. A huge deal was made of these things when they first went up and people from other states have told me they don't believe that these are really up on I-5. I see three of them on my way to drop off my husband at work every morning. In the 27 years I've been alive I have never actually seen anyone running across the freeway. Ever.

3.5) If California's economic size were measured by itself to other countries, it would rank the 7th largest economy in the world.

4.5) The U.S. Open Sandcastle Competition is held annualy in my hometown of Imperial Beach, California. Imperial Beach is considered to have some of the best sand in the counrty. I find this amusing since the beach has been eroding like crazy for the past 10 years. There's like half as much beach now as there was when I was a kid. If I owned a beach front home I'd be pretty worried. Anyway, after the competition the sand on the beach is totally displaced and for two days while it washes back out to normal it creates two sets of breakers in the water with a big, calm area in between like a swimming pool. The picture at right is actually from the amature division of last year's contest. The winning team for the main contest sculpted a giant hand holding a royal flush that was way detailed. Those people are nuts!

5.5) No one seems to know where the word California actually originated but everyone seems to have an opinion about it. (Wikipedia has a fairly good article about it.) Personally, I like the idea that it was a slam on Hernan Cortes. I find it amusing.

6.5) The only one of California's 21 Missions I have ever been to is Mission San Francisco Solano, the final mission built by the Spanish and the one farthest away from where I live. The first mission was Mission Basilica San Diego de Alcala it's right here in town and though I've been by it a number of times I'm pretty sure I've never gone in. Churches wig me out and they still actually use the mission as a church. It is beautiful though, check out the picture over there. They also have a legend that if you hear the mission bells in the middle of the night you shouldn't follow them because you'll never return. You know, good old follow the bells to your death stories. Which will take me to the last fact...

7.5) According to the Travel Channel's show America's Most Haunted the U.S. government actually keeps a list of the most haunted places in our country. The number one house on that list is Whaley House in San Diego's Old Town area. If you stop through town, I'll take you there. Afterward we can go over to the Haunted Coldstone down the street. Okay, so Coldstone isn't haunted but we say it is since it's located in between Whaley House and the graveyard where Yankee Jim is burried. Although there's plenty of skepticism to go around, I have to admit there are many weird things that go on in that locale. Not the least of which being that if you park your car over the grave markers in the road (the cemetary line was moved back ages ago and some of the graves are under the paved road, there are small brass plaques simply stating "Grave Site" where graves have been paved over) your car won't start. It doesn't always happen and it doesn't happen to everyone but it happens just enough to be really odd. The photo below is of my sister Shaniqua and my cousins Irie and Hawkeye at Yankee Jim's grave.

And thus ends my 7.5 facts about California that are mostly about San Diego since that's where I'm from. Since I mostly talked about SoCal, I think CPurl17 should tell us about NorCal.

On the knitting front, I'm working on a pair of socks for Entrelac that I will show you just as soon as I'm sure they're looking right.

Lastly, my baby girl is THREE years old today. Yikes!

I win.

2007-04-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

The Harry Potter Scarf has been bound off. It's done. It's over. The loathesome beast will be departing shortly. I win.

Okay the Vital stats: Red Heart Acyrillic in Claret (3 skeins) and Caron (1 skein) in some yellow, the label came off ages ago. The needles were Clover bamboo in size 8 and then I got my KP Options set and switched, much easier after that (Sticky Ickryllic+bamboo=GAH!).

The dimentions on this thing are rediculous. It's like, 11 inches wide. I wasn't about to start over so too bad. If I ever did another, and that's the biggest fattest if you ever saw, I'd still do it on the same size needles, albeit with another yarn of the same weight, but I'd cut the number of sts from 90 per round to say, 60.

I hated this thing. So much.

I'm right here, PennyKarma.

2007-04-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

I know, I'm neglecting the blog. I'm sorry.

But I can't seem to get anything done lately. Tuesday was awesome, though. I went to the grocery store AND the laundromat plus I reorganized the kitchen cabinets so you could actually insert or remove an item without causing a catastrophe as boxes and bags of foodstuffs cascaded upon you as you cried, "Why me!?"

But that was Tuesday.

Well, I suppose I get some props for yesterday, I went shopping with my fantastic MIL at the outlet mall and never lost my temper, came home and picked up, and then made Coq au Vin (from Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook) for dinner.

Today I couldn't tell you what I've spent my whole day doing, really. All I know is that the only time I wasn't actively doing something was when I spent 10 minutes skimming through a BSG podcast, when I gave myself a cheapass spa pedicure (this can be done by sitting on your bathroom counter with your feet in the sink), and just now when I popped on to check email and whatnot.

The time flies, I tell you.

We are really enjoying the new place and I've been spending most of my time trying to make it look less like a werehouse and more like we live here.

I'm working on the Harry Potter Scarf and refuse to get out any other project until it's done. I loathe it but it's going much quicker now that I got my new KP Options needle set for my birthday. The shorter cord is the perfect length for the number of sts I'm working on so I could finally ditch the annoying two circ method.

So here's the living room. Please note the Harry Potter Scarf on the couch. This picture was taken over a week ago (I intended to blog, you see) and since then I've steam cleaned the couch, put up pictures, and put in a real lamp instead of the lava lamps.

This is the kitchen which despite looking very large has no decent sized cupboards or drawers. They're all oddly shaped.

This is my new nephew, the one who got the colorful sweater.

Well, I'm off to clean more and possibly cook. I'm thinking leftover cassarole. If I live, I'll try to post something interesting tomorrow. Oh, what am I saying, my obit will be interesting.