something to write home about

I'm At That Other Web Address Over There

2007-11-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hey-lo internet reader friends! ("Hey-lo" not to be confused with "Halo", the hot new-ish game young-ish kids and 35 year old gamers are playing these days, while they wear Bobby Brown era head mics and shoot each other up all virtual style) I'm writing to tell you that mostly these days I'm posting on my other blog, Uncle Moustache. Please check that out for fun updates until further notice.

Now that I've written that, I'll probably get a burst of creativity mixed with biological Red Bull-like ambition and write a ton of posts here. However, Gossip Girl is on right now, so don't count on it. But, on the chance that that does happen, all posts here will appear there on good ol' Uncle Moustache. So you'll see them either way.

By the way, The Stache is a Tumblr blog, which are totally easy to make and update. You should totally start one, so I can totally check it, and we can totally be friends (yes, you can be "blog friends" on Tumblr. You thought I was talking about real friends? Never. That's never gonna happen between you and I. Kidding. We're already friends, if you're checking this. And if we're not friends, then you found me by web-stalking. In which case, we're not friends, weirdo. Unless you're Donald Trump, in which case, I wanna ride in your limo dog. Call me.).

Ok, see you later, in OtherBlogville. And Merry Christmas season to you. Especially you, Trump.

GET CHECKED!

2007-09-24T14:39:00.000-04:00

Step on the field and get the feeling knocked out of you by the latest installment of Reality Check!, the new Best Week Ever podcast I created with Josh Lay. It might just be the best footage of 2 fake referees you watch all day. And that's saying a lot, considering your plans to watch ESPN's Referee Masquerade Party Marathon today.

An A-Bomb of More News

2007-09-06T02:33:00.000-04:00

Hello there folks and folkettes! Happy post-Labor Day and take off those white pants! In the other room. There should be some pajama pants in the dresser you can use.

As seems to be the case lately, I have more amazing things share with you, so many great ones that I want you to begin reading this update by watching the video intro below:

So now that you're all jazzed up, here goes!

It's been a busy summer and I've been busy like a bee (but not as busy as the Singing Bee - Joey Fat-One! Oh!). And now I can offer you some fruit of my labor.

First, I was in a promo for USA Network's The 4400 TV show. The 4400 is basically USA's version of Heroes. Except it's been running for 3 SEASONS. Sure Heroes, you may have a large production budget, compelling stories, and main characters whose names are spelled differently but sound ridiculously similar to your show title, but I'll tell you what you don't have - A THIRD SEASON! You will next year, but then The 4400 will have 4 SEASONS. So you'll have to do double time to keep up this season, Heroes. Put that in your special effects pipe and smoke it.

The premise of these promos for The 4400 is that there is a drug called Promicin that the government just made legal and it will either kill you or give you Heroes-ish powers (Heroes, you win again!). I play a guy who took the drug, lived, and now has this great weird power to spoil food, so his friend films him and puts it on YouTube. Check out my food spoilin' special effects!

Next up in the world of news: I started a new blog and I've been posting on it for a while now. Now if you think I've been blog-cheating on you, you need to blog-get over it. It's a Tumblr blog which is super simple and awesome and what all the kids are using. The blog is called Uncle Moustache, and I try to post on it every day if I can. What you can expect from the new blog: less writing, more pictures, and even things that aren't funny. That's right, it's my thought-freakin'-provoking side. I know, I know, everything on this blog is MIND BLOWING HILARITY, so occasionally I need to post something that is just WORDS. Or PICTURES. So enjoy. And start one of your own. And if you do, we can become Tumblr blog friends.

And the last bit of news is an exciting bit. My comrade Josh Lay and I recently produced a new podcast for Best Week Ever.tv called REALITY CHECK. The R CHECK, as Josh and I call it when we're brainstorming and summering on our 90' iYacht (a wifi enabled yacht that plays MP3s) is hosted by Josh and I as two insane referees calling fouls and penalties on the reality TV superstars of the week. The name of the game is INTENSITY folks. After filming this, Josh was hooked into an IV for 6 hours, and I had to be resuscitated twice. But it is worth it. Enjoy, go watch it on the BWE.tv site to drive our hits into skyrocketing numbers, and look for the R CHECK on BWE.tv in the future.

That is all the news on my end. What a download! I think I could only have made bigger news if I released myself as music player communications device, waited a month, shrunk myself, gave myself twice the memory and lowered my price a few hundred dollars (sound familiar bummed out iPhone and past iPod buyers? I know, you love Apple and you hate them)!

Oh, someone has a birthday soon. And if you wanna send him a present, you can email him and get his address. Not saying who. It's not Marshall Benbow, although he has a birthday too. And so does Sanjaya Malakar. But it's not him either.

Newer News Of Newness

2007-08-30T13:45:00.000-04:00

So yeah, it's been a while since I've posted. More on why later, but for now, check out this link to a newer online presence, corycavin.com, that is bigger than the Pogo Ball. Trust me.

UPDATE: After reviewing, corycavin.com may be the worst site on the internet. Changes are coming soon. Trust me. (If your trust was crushed after trusting me last time, renew it by reminding yourself that I love you (if you randomly found this site and I don't know you, it is hard for me to love you so go back to the original trust and try that one)).

In the mean time, check out this article I wrote for Best Week Ever.tv on the Top 11 Reality Dating Shows Starring Rock Stars I'd Like To See.

Blech

2007-07-23T17:43:00.001-04:00

I might be sick.

Actually, I am sick. That is a picture of my throat. If you're a doctor, tell me if you see anything in my throat. It's swollen and hurts. I think due to lack of sleep and being overrun as of late due to producing comic hilarity and entertaining guests from out of town (and being on double decker tour buses all weekend with my fabulous mother and her friend). Also, if there's a way for you to ship me some drugs, get on that stat - ha! Doctor's term! See, I'm in the know, Doc. Now send me some healin', ASAP.

My good friend Miles Travis recently posted an IM conversation we had on his blog in his Catching Up With.... series. If you're laid up on the couch like me you can read it. Also, you can watch some movies....Kicking and Screaming (didn't like it), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (meh, ok), and The Devil Wears Prada (liked it, actually too much to feel good about myself).

Since Miles is catching up me currently, I'll let you catch up Miles a few years ago with this video I made for Miles' birthday when we lived in Montana back in 2000. This adds to the video archvies of the Youth Gone Wild trip of 2000-20001.

And if you can send me some anti-biotics I'm game. I just got to the Daniel Radcliffe tub scene in The Goblet of Fire, and I think I'm ready to be off the couch now.

On The Catwalk, Yeah

2007-07-18T22:45:00.000-04:00

I almost choked on my dinner at work because I was laughing so hard watching this.

It's not really the model that's funny (except for her oh-so-wobbly-stems...yep, I said 'stems'). It's the anchors that are losing it, which in turn, made me lose it. I'm sure if there was a video of me choking while watching this, those guys would laugh hysterically at that too.

Who Let The Dogs Out? (If You Did, Keep Them Away From Michael Vick)

2007-07-18T21:04:00.000-04:00

With the news of Michael Vick and his recent indictment of charges for hoooorrrrible crimes against doggies (seriously, seriously terrible stuff), it looks like dogs everywhere are getting their revenge. Here, a French dog is fed up with bikers in his home town (and also fed up with not seeing Lance Armstrong this year (and therefore no Gyllenhaal or Matthew McConaughey, sans shirt as it would be)), so he takes matters into his own hands....or paws. HA! Paws!

Pay close attention to how the wheel on la velo just folds when the dog decides to unleash his K-9 power.

2 Days From Now....

2007-07-11T01:59:00.000-04:00

This is happening.

RUFF BOYZ, my sketch comedy and video show at the UCB Theatre debuts. I wrote it with Bill Grandberg and Josh Lay. It's going to be freakin' awesome. We've put in tons of work and late nights on this and we're really excited. Prepare to see such feats as fake vomiting, barbershop quartet singing and dancing, dummies being hit by cars, past and present selves fighting each other, TLC videos, and a mind blowing conclusion. Yes. You may wanna call your ex and bring them to this...cause it just might get the two of you back together.

If you're in NYC, please come out to the show - we need an audience there to boost the show and get a good response so we can get a run at the theater. Details are here. See you there!

They Heads Be Explodin' And All

2007-06-27T17:34:00.000-04:00

I cut together this "highlight" reel of Jennifer Hudson and Jennifer Holliday, the original Dreamgirl from the play (who was seemingly determined to eradicate Jennifer Hudson with her vocal Jujitsu), from the BET Awards on Tuesday night. I watched this performance probably 5 times and was laughing out loud by myself in my office. Which is probably a creepy sound for the security guard who comes around about 2AM to check on everything on the mostly empty 6th floor of our building. My favorite moments are when Holliday's jaw goes into that cartoony sideways pose, like she's Wile E. Coyote that's just seen hot cartoon lady.

Here's a full post that they (they = Michelle, Senior Editor, funnylady, coworker) used the video for.

In other work news, I'm starting to like the taste of bitter, unsweetened coffee. The night job is getting its claws in me.

What's In The Hall 6-27-07: Inventor's Edition

2007-06-27T17:27:00.000-04:00

Dilemma: You need to watch your baby and your View, but naptime and BarbaraTime is at the same time. What do you do?

Solution: The Tele-Crib.

Plop that kid on there and, oh snap, it's View time!

PS - I would never do that to this baby.

A Great Way To Blow The Budget Of, Say, An Entire Nation

2007-06-13T21:15:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure this is ridiculous.

I also think it's what is inside Bill Gates' head if you cut it open.

Branching Out, Cashing In

2007-06-04T16:44:00.000-04:00

As a struggling actor/writer/comedian, I have to find some other income until the royalty checks start rolling in (the screenplay for Over The Top 2: HArm Wrestling is well under way though, be looking for it). But until then....

Notice I didn't even put prices in. I'll be raising them so fast I won't have time to put them in in the first place. Not even hybrids will be safe.

No Creative Title - My Wit Is On Holiday

2007-05-28T19:54:00.000-04:00

Happy Memorial Day.

The hydrants are open again in my neighborhood.

Here's the final Star 76 video I did. With Marcos Sanchez, of Chantico Warfare with me, and Rachel Zylstra.

Plug Friday

2007-05-11T03:13:00.000-04:00

Hey you guuuuuyss!!! Who am I? Sloth!? From the Goonies!? You're right! Also, if you said the big crazy looking guy from The Hills Have Eyes, you're close, he does look like Sloth. And if you said watching that movie while you work all by your lonesome late at night in a giant office building was a bad idea, you're definitely right. Cause I did it. And it scares you. Even though you're not 9. Or a little girl.

Since it's Friday here are more TGIF plugs for you, the first in the form of another Star 76 promo video I did, this one with Jeremy O'Grady and Beth Cartier. BTW, Star 76 just opened their online store, so go there and get yourself a t-shirt to look all stylish this weekend at that potluck/birthday party/spin-the-bottle-marathon you're going to.

And now you're thinking, "Man that was a great video. Now that I'm so pumped to have an awesome weekend with this great new t-shirt, what's gonna be my weekend soundtrack?" Good question. You can answer that by getting Sergeant's brand new album, featuring my friend Keli Reule. Go to their MySpace to buy it.

No, no, don't thank me. Thank Plug Friday. The best day of the week.

TGIF (TELL GUS Chiggins I'M FUNNY)

2007-05-04T02:50:00.000-04:00

It's Friday again - my the weeks are rolling on, IT'S MAY ALREADY, wow you and I gotta get in shape soon to hit the beach, bro! Nice cargos! - so I figured I'd gift you another video for your entertainment.

Here's another video from the Leadership Camp. This is Always Be Closing, our episodic office video. We recently added it to Funny Or Die, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's comedy YouTube brainchild. Here's the deal: watch it, and if you think it's funny, click the Funny button on the clip. If you don't think it's funny, click the Die button. The more Funny rankings we get, the higher we're rated on the site and the better it looks. The more Die's we get, the lower our score and the worse it looks til' it's banished to the "unfunny crypt" of the site. So go ahead, watch it and rate, in full honesty, whatever you think. (I'm watching you SO hard and if you even think about hitting Die I will come through this screen so fast you'll think I was Al Gore jumping out of the internet I created....I am so serious right now, I would even slap Ghandi for voting Die, I don't even care...). What, go ahead, watch. I didn't say anything.

Always Be Closing: Episode 1

Oh, To Be A Rockefeller

2007-05-02T23:45:00.000-04:00

Today I got a voicemail from my mom saying,

"Hey Cory, hope you're doing good. I guess you have to work tonight. That's too bad. Sorry we're not independently wealthy and you have to go to work."

I feel really blessed to have parents who are humble enough to admit their faults....like not becoming millionaires.

It's ok, Mom and Dad, I still love you. Although I will say, the one thing from my childhood that really messed me up was my extreme lack of caviar.

There's A BLACKOUT In NYC Tonight

2007-05-01T00:39:00.000-04:00

Tonight, all those in the NYC area, prepare to sit in the dark and be tickled (not literally, that's weird) as my improv group BLACKOUT does a show at the UCB Theatre tonight in NYC. BLACKOUT performs a fully improvised show off one suggestion completely in the dark. It's like an improvised radio show, or like lying in bed awake listening to your neighbors fight (only funnier).

Show starts at 11pm, tickets are $5, and you can even go at 8:00pm and see great improv from the UCBT's Harold teams and stay for our show afterwards....all for one low price. Come on out and wear whatever you want, because no one will be able to see you in the dark. You can finally wear that Bobby Brown t-shirt you've wanted to.

TGIFAHACV (thank God it's Friday and here's another couple videos)

2007-04-27T02:32:00.000-04:00

Hello weekenders and welcome to Friday. The day that glares you in the face and says, "Look at me. You can't wait for my "day part" to be over so you can leave work, but can't wait for my "night part" to begin so you can get jiggy. You cannot escape me."

Here's to you having a good Friday. And here are a few more videos to get you through that "day part." The first one is a short from the Leadership Camp, the comedy short group I'm a part of (I tried to not end that sentence with a preposition about five times but failed each time so I gave in). I think it's our creepiest one yet. Enjoy Falcon (with Josh Lay as the tight-turtlenecked Falcon).

And the second video is another Star 76 commercial. This time with Josh ackin' the fool as a painter alongside Nick Ross (as a canvas, as it were).

And come be the Leadership Camp's friend on MySpace too. We are so lonely.

Spring Awakening

2007-04-24T00:43:00.000-04:00

It has been beautiful in NYC the past few days. We finally exited our "we're just like Seattle!" phase and the rain finally left, and now Spring is in full effect. That's allowed for lying in the grass and relaxing/falling asleep/drooling in open public spaces, which also allows for overhearing conversations like this gem I caught while napping in the Cloisters in upper Manhattan this weekend:

"So the urethra was blocked!"

And after that, I heard no context to place it in. Could've been a patient, a person, a whale, whatever. For more great things overheard, check out Overheard In New York, the website of things....overheard in New York. Be warned, like New York, it is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended.

And, here's another Star 76 video, starring Bradford How and Chris Czyz.

Get Your Hot Buttered T-Shirts!

2007-04-19T04:35:00.000-04:00

It's almost the weekend, so who's ready for some more videos?? What? You're still crying about Sanjaya? It'll pass. Trust me. Now, onto the videos.

Recently, Kristen asked me to create a few videos for a clothing company she was starting with her friend Jeremy. Kristen and Jeremy started Star76, a company that takes original art from talented artists they know and prints them onto t-shirts to fit over your manly/dainty torso. Their goal is to partner with emerging artists to bring you a quality wearable and fashionably artistic product, and also to partner with emerging non-profits to further great causes and social consciousness. We worked on the videos for a few weeks, hammered them out from the ground up, and I was lucky enough to be able to cast a bunch of friends in them. Now I'm pleased to have them done and ready to show to all you peeps. Here's the first one, starring Joe Spellman, of Death League Tea Party. Enjoy.

I'll keep posting the videos here. If you like them, you can repost and email them from Star76's iFilm and YouTube sites. In the mean time, go check out Star76 on the web and get ready for their launch party next weekend. Come on out and buy a stylish shirt at the party, or at their website. I think you might need it. I can see the shirt you're wearing right now. C'mon dude. Seriously.

(MUCH thanks to Josh for helping with all the video shoots. He has a nice cameo at the end of this video too.)

More Like Orville Reden-Hitler

2007-04-13T04:34:00.000-04:00

When you're making microwave popcorn, it's not a bad idea to completely read the directions on the bag. Especially the part that says DO NOT LEAVE POPCORN UNATTENDED WHILE POPPING IN MICROWAVE.

Otherwise your microwave will bellow with yellow sulfurous smoke that burns your eyes like mustard gas, causing you to turn on 3 fans and open the windows of your apartment, while you cough and say to yourself, "I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST POPCORN!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!???"

And your microwave have a new tint to it like this:

...Leaving your whole apartment with the aftermath smell of charred butter. I really should've stuck with this microwave.

We Are All Leaders...but some of us have VIDEOS

2007-04-10T11:37:00.000-04:00

Spring is starting (ever so slowly) to spring up and now the fruits of winter labor are staring to show. I'm not reciting some cryptic Robert Frost lyric (although that's what it sounds like).

Rather, I'm here to announce to you the launching of The Leadership Camp website.

The Leadership Camp is a sketch comedy video group I'm in with a few friends, Josh, Matthew, and Dugan. The first video, Always Be Closing - an office comedy about a horrible real estate firm - is up. I play the clueless intern - a role I've trained for through clueless internships. Check it out.

This is hopefully the first of a few launches I'll be telling you about here. Get excited. More funny stuff is coming. And so is Spring. We just gotta get above the 40 degree mark for that one to happen.

*If you're bored at work, at home, or at a really boring party that has high speed internet, you can also check out my YouTube page. I've been updating it with some old Lurecrest program videos. More will be added as time goes on.

What's In The Hall 4-2-07

2007-04-07T04:04:00.000-04:00

It's been a while and there's been a hiatus. But now I'm back to tell you....

WHAT'S IN THE HALL? !!!

So what's in the hall when you come from work at 4am in the morning?

Dinner. Or what's left of it.

Including some nice potassium rich dessert. Mmmmmm. (Also glad these people didn't come out of their door as I was snapping pictures on my knees out in the hallway)

Those are some "delicious Chinese foods". Or "Chinese delicious foods". Whatever.

And that's...

WHAT'S IN THE HALL!!

*Check out KBall's WITH?: Grammercy Edition! It's spreadin' like jam! Or the black plague! Or the black jam plague (which is worse than both)!

Another Distraction While I Do My Taxes

2007-03-19T12:29:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday everyone. As I begin my climb downward to drown in receipts to report to Uncle Sam - and promise myself I'll never be the kind of uncle that requires my relatives to pay me while I wear a ridiculous red, white, and blue hat - I have some distractions to offer you.

If you're not familiar with The Mountain Goats, you're missing out on some wonderfully witty, poignant, and at times heart breaking music. John Darnielle is known for his energetic live performances peppered with his speeches and stories told to crowds of nerds/intellectuals/indie fans. Snatch up this gem of him telling the tragic tale of Swedish music heroes Ace of Base in his version of The Sign.

The Mountain Goats - The Sign (Live)

And if you're doing your taxes today also, take a break from adulthood with Joey Ramone and this track:

Ramones - I Don't Want To Grow Up

(Both of these tracks via You Ain't No Picasso)

And now, render unto Caesar what is Caesar's.

A Steal Of a Deal Of a Meal

2007-03-15T03:57:00.000-04:00

At work tonight I noticed a new French restaurant was added to our online delivery account. Being particularly in the mood for duck, crepes, and red wine (I was also wearing a kickin' beret), I decided to check out the menu. However, I think the Euro goes a lot further than my $20 expense account:

click on the image for a closer look

Because $2200 is a lot for a steak, even if it's all the way from gay Paris.
Ok. Maybe this is a misprint. But this isn't.