Oh, It's THOSE Girls: Baseball Blog

"Uncle!"

2009-12-14T11:19:00.005-06:00

Is it not enough to have my heart broken this off-season?

Has that not caused me enough pain and anguish already?

Must I also endure this?

Must Nick Swisher really infect one of my favorite prime-time network comedies as well?

I am officially crying "uncle." For whatever I did to anger the baseball gods this much, I am truly repentant.

What stage of grief is "Musical Montage Making"?

2009-12-12T08:36:00.002-06:00

Whatever stage of grief it is....I'm officially there.

Actually...I thought it was so funny while I was making it that I couldn't stop giggling at my own ridiculousness. That's probably a good sign that I might just survive afterall.

Oh, and for those that are curious...yes, I was this inconsolable when Doug and A.J. each got traded too. I just didn't have a blog then, or the technological capabilities to express my digital angst adequately.

Today's Whackadoodle Theory

2009-12-11T11:48:00.002-06:00

Today's Whackadoodle Theory:

Boof Bonser was forced to leave the Twins because the addition of Jon Rauch last season threw the team's "number of players to number of tattoos" ratio way off balance.

It's as good a theory as any, I think.

Also, my last two long-term baseball boyfriends wore jersey #26. I've grown kind of fond of and loyal to the number. Please, whoever takes it next, PLEASE be awesome and adorable. I am begging you.

I feel like post-Drew Barrymore-break-up Jimmy Fallon in Fever Pitch. But I can't actually watch Fever Pitch, because all the Red Sox stuff makes me even sadder.

I'm sorry for fixating. I really am. But if anyone didn't see this coming....you clearly haven't been paying attention. I've been trying to emotionally prepare myself for this possibility since 2007. Clearly it did not help.

Booflessness Day 3.1: The Nightmare Continues

2009-12-10T10:25:00.007-06:00

Booflessness Day 3, again.

Dear Journal,

It's over. He's officially traded.

It's not like I'm thrilled with the team choice (Thanks a lot Bill Smith. Way to twist the knife ol' buddy).

Boston was third to last on my prioritized list of teams I made, as I contemplated where Boof might go. You can probably guess the two that fell lower on the list.

It's a FL spring training team, so there's that. But it's one of the teams that is ~~impossible~~ more-expensive-than-I-care-to-think-about to get decent tickets for their games ANYWHERE. So....not super helpful.

Even so....meet the newest item on my Christmas List.

It sucks, and I feel dirty.

But as Boof goes, so goes my nation.

At least sometimes.

Booflessness Day 3: Reminiscing

2009-12-10T06:10:00.001-06:00

Day 3 of Booflessness

Dear Journal,

I am still sad.

But today I feel strong enough to remember some of the great times I had fan-girling Boof Bonser over the last four years. And it makes me smile.

Like how this is my favorite Boof Bonser autograph of all of my Boof Bonser autographs (and boy, there are a LOT of them):

And then I remember how awesome it was when Boof was signing said autograph, and he just sort of looked at it funny for a really really long time and it got a little awkward. It provided Those Girls with a lot of entertainment and giggles.

Good times.

But then I remember that I will never have funny awkward moments like that with Boof Bonser at Target Field. And then my heart hurts.

So then I go and watch haiku video to feel better. Because I still love Boof's most of all. (Although mine were also pretty dang good, if I do say so myself.)

So much fun. So much happiness.

But now it's all gone, and I am left in a black hole of Boofless despair.

I hope he's either traded or signs somewhere ASAP after he's released (please please please please to a team with Florida spring training) so that I can get a new jersey right away. I think that will make me feel better.

Day 2 of Booflessness

2009-12-09T12:18:00.005-06:00

Day 2:

Dear Journal,

I am still sad.

And I am not just a little bit sad. I am "Boof with a Bad Haircut" sad.

I am going to go chew on a towel now.

No Joy in Mudville.

2009-12-08T22:30:00.002-06:00

I received many condolence twitter tweets and text messages today, after the news about Boof Bonser being designated for assignment broke.

And yes, I am heartbroken. And I am cranky. I heard the news while I was at work, so I could not throw the tantrum that I so desperately wanted to throw. (Which is maybe a good thing. I have a lot of breakables in my house.)

I am proud that when people in this little corner of the Twins blogosphere think of Boof Bonser, they also think of me. I think this means that I have done my part to publicly support and cheer on my baseball boyfriend through thick and thin, to the very best of my ability.

And in return, Boof has been the very best baseball boyfriend I could ask for.

The fact that Boof was cut to make room on the roster for Carl Pavano is a little like having salt rubbed in the wound that Bill Smith has torn into my heart.

And the first person who tries to say anything rational or reasonable to ME about this being a good move is going to get popped right in the nose. You have been warned. I am not feeling reasonable or rational right now. This is my blog, and my own personal heartbreak...it is not up for debate. And my love of Boof has always surpassed reason anyway.

In the past few weeks, Those Girls have lost players we have been particularly and specifically fond of: Carlos Gomez, Brian Buscher, Mike Redmond and Boof Bonser. And before that, Jason Bartlett, Garrett Jones, Brian Bass (that one is ALL Casey...I'm taking no credit for that), Bobby Korecky, and Craig Breslow.

With the possible exceptions of Carlos Gomez and Jason Bartlett, there were times when we cheered really loudly for those guys, and it was clear that we were the ONLY people cheering loudly. Which only made us cheer louder and more enthusiastically. And when Bill Smith systematically tore each of them away from us, it broke our hearts, repeatedly and painfully.

And since I'm in an irrational mood, I will say that it really feels at this point like Bill Smith is targeting us personally. In fact, I think that if Bill Smith had to put down on paper his management strategy since he took the reins, it would look something like this:

"I hate Those Girls and I want them to be sad."

Mission accomplished, Bill. We are sad. We are very sad. You must be doing a happy dance right about now.

I am just not going to have a Twins Baseball Boyfriend anymore. I decided that today. Bill Smith is not going to have my heart to kick around anymore.

But I am publicly declaring a deep undying love for Carl Pavano right now. Take that for what it's worth.

Frequently Googled Again: Blasts from the Past Edition

2009-12-03T11:27:00.000-06:00

I think it's that time again. Time to answer some of the burning questions (and odd phrases) people google, only to find themselves here. I chose a few that seemed interesting, mainly because they were NOT "Joe Mauer," "Mauer," or "Nick Swisher shirtless."

"Bubba ODonnell": Bubba O'Donnell is a RHP. I remember him as the awesomely mohawked closer for the Madison Mallards in the Northwoods League a couple years ago. He got drafted by the Cubs, but was released sometime last spring. I haven't heard anything about him since, and it makes me sad inside. He does have a MySpace page which hasn't been updated since MySpace was still marginally cool, but there are some pictures. Enjoy!

"Baseball Stupidest Trades": Perhaps I'm just still feeling a little bit bitter, but I think this is what you may be looking for.

"Yankees Sayings TShirts": Hmm. I don't actually keep a lot of those around the house, oddly enough. But here's a good one...

You can buy your very own shirt here.

"What is face fungus?": An excellent question. I'm no dermatologist, but when you look in the mirror and see something that looks like this...

Or this...

...You should probably see a qualified medical professional.

"Spooky Milk Brendan Harris Girlfriend": Sorry. I try very hard to find people the answers that they're looking for, but I just have no earthly idea what this even means. Good luck finding out, though!

"Jason Pridie Sex?": Um. Wow. Well, to answer the question..Jason Pridie is a male. Thanks for playing.

hot...stove...action?

2009-11-30T11:19:00.003-06:00

As I fell asleep last night, after putting the finishing touches on a month-long adventure in high speed novelling, I thought to myself, "Now something baseball-interesting can happen and I'll be ready for it."

I was ready for it when I woke up this morning. I was ready for some news. I was ready for some hot-stove action.

What I was NOT prepared for was an eyeful of Grady Sizemore's hot...stove... action?

OK, I got nothing.

One of the pictures I saw involved a cup of tea. Hot tea that may have been prepared on a stove. I thought there was a clever pun somewhere in there, but there's not. My bad.

Yup. Grady Sizemore had some naughty pics "stolen" from an ex-girlfriend's email account. And now the pictures are frolicking all over this little interweb of ours. Who could have known?

The MLB is reportedly taking action to remove the photos from their new online homes. They weren't fast enough for me, unfortunately. Let's just say I had to exfoliate twice to feel clean again.

Yes, Grady's Ladies, there IS a Santa Claus.

And although I am the opposite of a Grady Sizemore aficionado, I too will walk away from this incident happy. Because I already have a jump-start on a truly spectacular idea for next season's Grady Sizemore-mocking sign. It's going to be good. Trust me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T10:07:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Is it sad that I still sort of think of today as "The Day Torii Left Us?" (Thanks for forever tainting a National holiday for me, man)

Things I am Thankful For Today:

-The newly released Twins Spring Training schedule

-Nick Punto

-Cotton Candy Milkshakes

-Inter-league Play

-This picture:

Short and sweet.

2009-11-23T14:00:00.002-06:00

Congratulations Joe Mauer on a well deserved first MVP award.

Keizo Konishi--you kind of suck. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Also filed under things that suck: Miguel Cabrera gets a $200,000 bonus for coming in 4th in the voting, and Joe Mauer gets $100,000 for winning the darn thing. Hopefully we will just tack another $100,001 on to his gigantic contract offer to make up for it.

Mea Culpa + MVP Monday

2009-11-23T00:04:00.004-06:00

I know, I know. Important interesting baseball-y things have been happening, and I have been woefully absent. Mea culpa.

If it helps, I have a good excuse. I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, which requires you to write a 50,000 word (minimum) novel in the space of 30 short days in November. It's....demanding.

On the days when I write enough to stay on pace, I don't feel like writing anything else, up to and including scrawling my name on the credit card receipt for the take-out.

And on the days when I stubbornly do NOT write enough to stay on pace, I feel guilty if I even think about writing anything else.

There were a lot of those days last week, and I fell WAY behind. So, this weekend has been all about playing novelling catch-up. Between Saturday and Sunday, I wrote a pretty crazy 13,104 words. Which is a LOT.

But I'm all caught up, and I even tacked on an extra 39 words there at the end, just for good measure.

I may, or may not, be losing my mind.

I feel like my fingers are going to fall off, and yet, here I am. Baseball blogging away late on MVP Monday Eve. Because I want to just state publicly that if even one (ONE!) of the baseball writers casts one (ONE!) first place AL MVP vote for anyone but Joe Mauer (and by "anyone but Joe Mauer," I mostly mean "Derek F-Ing Jeter,") I am pretty certain that blood vessels in my facial region might actually burst in protest.

Anything but a unanimous vote for Joe is completely unacceptable to me. And I'm not even a crazy Mauer fangirl, so that should mean something.

And now to play baseball blogging catch-up too:

Though I was not particularly happy to say goodbye to our darling Go-Go, I am at least happy he's only going as far as Milwaukee. This is mostly selfish, because I live in Wisconsin and have unfettered access to Brewers games. In fact, I have always thought that the Twins should only be allowed to trade players I love to Milwaukee. It just makes good sense.

Also, while my expectations for JJ Hardy are being kept to a low Adam-Everett-Level to avoid disappointment, I am reasonably certain that JJ's AQ should keep him well within the safe zone on the patented Official Those Girls' Line of Baseball Acceptability.

So, there's that.

*************

And to close, I just have a few Hot Stove requests for the Twins:

1) Try not to have anything else interesting happen until December 1st, when I can focus better. It's only another week. That's doable, I think.

2) When considering any further Non-Milwaukee trade options, please only trade players I really like to the following clubs: Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, or the Texas Rangers. Those are the teams I like to follow...mostly because their roster choices lean towards the adorable. And if we must trade any more players, I'd be happier if they went to one of there.

I think those are pretty reasonable requests. Please and Thank you in advance.

We're a little cranky now, I'm not going to lie.

2009-11-03T12:05:00.005-06:00

Those Girls would like to take a moment to officially declare our displeasure with the whole Brian Buscher situation. As many of you know, our favorite motto is "Um, We Like Brian Buscher, Actually." So, hearing the news today that the Twins have outrighted Brian to Rochester. Which means that he will become a minor league free agent shortly after the World Series ends.

It's kind of an understatement to say that we are unhappy with this development. And I am stubbornly disinterested in hearing any arguments about this being even a remotely good thing. The heart wants what it wants, dammit.

It's a dark day.

In other slighly happier news, Chase Utley is making history with the whole being really good at baseball thing during this World Series. I, obviously, credit his very public love of puppies for all of his professional success this off-season.

I hope his success leads more professional athletes to declare strong pro-puppy positions.

I would still like to see the Phillies squeak out a Series win, but last night I found myself feeling just a little bit disappointed that the stupid thing is going to last at least one more game. I'm sorry, but the Yankees and Phillies are extremely poor substitutes for Glee on the FOX Wednesday night line-up.

Christmas just got more adorable.

2009-11-02T10:25:00.002-06:00

I bought my Johan Santana Hallmark Keepsake Ornament yesterday.

He's pretty adorable, and I heart him.

My goal now is to figure out how to fashion a teeny tiny miniature Twins jersey for him before he goes on my Christmas tree.

You don't have to take HIS word for it....

2009-10-30T11:01:00.002-05:00

If LeVar Burton says it, I think we need to listen.

Of course, this comment also makes me want to yell things like "Jordie LaForge could've called that correctly! ......WITHOUT the visor!" at the umpires.

A.B.T.Y.

2009-10-26T10:32:00.006-05:00

A year ago the Phillies were the villains, stealing a shiny ring away from our beloved Jason Bartlett and his heartwarming Tampa Bay Rays teammates.

This year the Phillies are the closest thing we have to white hatted good guys.

And looking at these CNN poll results this morning:

It looks like a lot of people are subscribing to the ABTY baseball philosophy this year. Anyone But The Yankees. [The other 36% is made up of real Yankees fans, random d-bags, and professional sports journalists. --AND Wolverine, apparently. Say it ain't so!]

Except for Metsgrr l, who I believe is subscribing to her "let's hope a meteor hits the stadium" philosophy. That is also a valid life choice.

I don't think my interest in this match-up is going to ever rise above "Maybe I'll check the score online purely out of morbid curiosity." So...the part of the year where I stop watching baseball and start counting the days til pitchers and catchers report begins a little bit early this year.

It could be worse.

2009-10-20T11:12:00.002-05:00

Twins fans, it could be worse. At least Stub Hub is not sending US painful salt-in-the-wound email oopsies like this one:

I read it, and thought "C'mon now...That's just MEAN."

Apparently Stub Hub realized this eventually, and sent this out a little later:

Yes, Stub Hub, this WAS unfortunately a mistake.

I guess someone at Stub Hub didn't realize that there are actually TWO baseball teams in Pennsylvania.

If you're going to market sports to people who love sports, you should probably hire folks who have at least a passing knowledge of what's going on in sports right now. Just a thought.

SMALL MARKET MLB TEAMS KNOCKED OUT OF PLAYOFFS; TV EXECS DOUSE EACH OTHER IN CHAMPAGNE

2009-10-13T01:02:00.007-05:00

ATLANTA--The scene at the Turner Entertainment Networks headquarters was a tense one. Executives huddled together around the big screen television in the main conference room. As game 4 of the Phillies/Rockies wound down, you could feel the excitement building. And when the final out was recorded, the room erupted.

Dozens of champagne bottles were wheeled in, and then the festivities really heated up. Between champagne showers,TNT President Steven Koonin was quoted as saying “It’s a really proud day here for us. TBS could not be more pleased with this outcome. You know, we started to get excited after St. Louis lost, but we just didn’t want to jinx anything. Once Minnesota lost, well, it really felt like something magical was happening, although we knew we still had a big battle ahead of us. But today, watching Colorado get knocked out, there just aren’t words enough to describe how special this is.”

Donald Trembly, an associate in the advertising sales department, echoed his boss’s relief and joy. “You know, I think you always need to be a little worried. I mean, it just seems like every year, one of those small loser fly-over teams sneaks in there and really ruins things for us. They’re scrappy. I’ll give them that. But you know what? At the end of the day, scrappy just don’t sell avocados. Booyah!“

Even the interns got in on the celebrations. Rookie Chaz McMurphy was practically in tears. “You dream of something like this your whole life. I almost can’t believe it’s happening to me. I’m 21 years old, and I’m already going to be able to shill basic cable George Lopez programming to the largest possible audience I can imagine. I’m just so proud to be a part of this special team. This is just unreal. Excuse me…I need to call my mom.”

Of course, across the country at the FOX Broadcasting Company, the celebrations were going equally strong. Linda Price, a FOX executive, toasted the Big Market Sweep by admitting that for days she “woke up in cold sweats, after having nightmares about a Twins-Rockies World Series.”

Poop.

2009-10-11T21:51:00.001-05:00

It was 3 (well, 4, really) more games of baseball than we expected. So there's THAT.

But I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Twins baseball just yet anyway.

So...poop.

Twins Broadcasting for Dummies

2009-10-09T10:44:00.003-05:00

So, judging by myself and all of my Twins Twitter friends during Wednesday night's game, we all hate the TBS announcers with varying degrees of venom.

When you love a team, and know more about them than you know about several members of your extended family, it's tough to listen to a broadcast team who seems to be starting with a baseline knowledge of approximately zero. When your team also happens to be playing the Yankees, things get a little vomit inducing. Like when they suggested that actually, having a kagillion dollar payroll and being a successful team in the largest media market in the country is just such "a burden."

Yes, poor lil' fellas. Tell it to the team on the field who got 3 hours of sleep the night before and most of whom are making close to the league minimum salary.

Anyway, to cope, you have to see the funny. I subscribed to MLB's postseason.tv to watch the tie-breaker at work while the dvr worked overtime at home. It's fixed angle camera feeds (you can choose up to 4 angles to watch out of 9....2 of which are dugout cameras, yay!) with the TBS broadcast audio feed. Since it was the first night of postseason.tv functionality, I think they were still working out the bugs. For example, for most of the game, the audio feed didn't cut away during commercial breaks. So I was able to hear how ridiculous the guys sounded trying to frantically search for random statistics they could lead off with after the break, desperately trying to make them sound meaningful. There were a lot of conversations like this:

3rd inning: "Hey, if we go back to last year, the Twins haven't scored in 11 innings of tie-break games!" "Yeah! That's a great one! Let's go with that!"

"Wait, wait, wait! What's that helmet Joe Mauer wears? Is that like an '80s helmet or something? I bet it is. That would make a great bit. Somebody find out!"

And of course, when the Tigers scored 3 runs, there was all of the preparation for the next series. Who the Tigers will be pitching first against the Yankees, etc. Ha. Gotcha that time, TBS.

So, since I can only assume that their commercial break prep work involves Googling, maybe they will find this post. So, I've compiled some of their favorite Twins information they will probably need at some point, all in one handy dandy spot. You're welcome, Chip.

Joe Mauer is really good at baseball.
Joe Mauer is, believe it or not, FROM Minnesota!
Joe Mauer is pretty gosh darn tall for a catcher. He's 6'5"!
Joe Mauer has 3 batting titles
Joe Mauer has sideburns.
There are also 24 other players on the Twins playoff roster. None of them are named Joe Mauer.
Three years ago, Ozzie Guillen called some of the Twins "piranhas" one time.
Justin Morneau is injured.
The Twins miss Justin Morneau.
The Twins are considered a "small-market team."
The Twins couldn't afford to keep Johan Santana and Torii Hunter, because they are a small-market team.

That should be enough information to last 9 innings of TBS broadcast baseball. If it goes into extra innings, feel free to repeat the above information, ad nauseum.

In case you're interested in branching out TBS (and/or all you Yankees fans and/or bandwagon Twins "fans" who are googling them right now), Nick Blackburn is starting tonight and you can find all sorts of good information here.

Holy Crap on a Cracker.

2009-10-07T10:50:00.004-05:00

First off, I would like to offer some condolences to Jim Leyland, the Tigers and their fans. Because I think we all remember how last year felt for us. It felt like horse-pucky. Sorry it came down to that guys. Nothing personal.

But damn, that was an awesome night.

And all of my happy dancing shouting and whatnot was not at all focused on gloating at the Tigers. That's bad karma. It was 100% celebration of our boys winning the AL Central against all odds and expectations.

I think they made that Top 100 Metrodome Moments list too early. Because last night has to rank up there. Top 15 at least.

And going against the odds and expectations was certainly the theme of the evening. If anyone had told me the game would come down to Bobby Keppel and Alexi Casilla, I would have giggled a little bit.

And win it they did. And I giggled a little bit about it.

The on-field and clubhouse celebrations are always the best part. Carlos Gomez's happiness is infectious. And the Rauch/Gardenhire man-hug is possibly one of my favorite visuals of the whole season so far.

But like the Twins, we can't focus too long on winning the Central, because we have to start looking to the Bronx without much of a breather.

For the remainder of the Twins' post-season, I am removing the word "realistically" from my vocabulary and my consciousness. It's an ugly word, and nothing I am ever interested in hearing follows it. It is the opposite of warm and fuzzy. It is cold and prickly. Who needs it?

So, whimsically, at this point I think folks are silly to write this team off right away. Because, clearly there is magic at work and it's crazy to deny it.

But I hope the Yankees fans keep writing them off, because historically, the Twins always perform at their absolute best with zero external expectations.

Yes, the 0-7 season series record against the Evil Empire is a more than daunting statistic. But THIS is not the same team who played the Yanks earlier this year. There's a certain mental toughness the team is playing with right now that we haven't seen in while. I swear Michael Cuddyer is willing the ball to go where he wants with just the power of his mind right now. And we've never seen THIS Delmon Young since he came to Minnesota. And the fact that Bobby Keppel got out of that bases loaded jam last night had supernatural mystical forces written ALL over it.

To quote Cuddy's clubhouse speech: "Let's drink it up and go get the Yankees!"

Oh, what a difference a year makes.

2009-10-06T10:54:00.006-05:00

Last year, after missing opportunities to put the division away (and Cleveland putting Juan Rincon in against the White Sox), I was a little disappointed that we HAD to play a tie-breaker. This year, after scorching through the end of the season like a team on fire, without Justin Morneau, I am thrilled that we GET to play a tie-breaker.

Last year, I was fightin' pissed that we lost home field advantage to a random toss of a coin, rendering our season series win pointless. This year I think we all feel vindicated that MLB righted that wrong and changed the rules. And now that the hometown crowds have been warming up their vocal cords and the Dome's insane acoustics for the past 4 days, I don't think the Tigers will know what hit them when they take the field.

Aside from the Gopher's tanking it, this has to go down as one of the most interesting weeks in sports Minnesota has seen.

I think my one request for this game, aside from the obvious winning, would be if we could possibly introduce Jared Allen to Miguel Cabrera tonight. I think that would be fun.

In spite of the cold, and in spite of the fact that it has approximately one bazillion calories, you had better believe I will be getting a Cold Stone Cotton Candy Milkshake for luck today.

I believe in magic.

Here's some pics from last weekend just for kicks:

Sweet Farewell to the Metrodome Souvenir.

Thank You, Jeff Manship, for getting it done.

Thank You, Zack Greinke for NOT getting it done.
I'm sorry you had to lose for the greater good. I still love you.
AND I think more people should have cheered when you got announced on Sunday. Hmph.

Nick Blackburn is clearly our go-to guy.
We, at Oh It's Those Girls, are very proud of him.

Hello Boof. It's good to see you again.

Joe Nathan and I have worked through our trust issues.
Everything is fine again.

We cannot believe our little Malt Cup Kid is old enough to sell beer now!

The Last regular-season Dome Dog.

The count down's over. Sort of. Having Kirby Jr. there was pretty special.

Actually, the whole Farewell to the Metrodome ceremony on Sunday was pretty amazing. Kudos to all the folks who planned it, because it was even better than I hoped it would be.

The Curious Case of Jose Mijares

2009-10-04T01:05:00.001-05:00

Those Girls are thoroughly enjoying our last weekend at the Dome.

We ALWAYS enjoy the last weekend home series, but obviously, this one is special.

More than special, actually. After today, I'm willing to go ahead and call it magic.

I think we were all a little wary of going into a matchup against Greinke, but I knew it was going to be a great day as soon as we got into the Dome. Magic started right away. I got a batting practice ball and Boof was back in town, shagging balls in his customary spot in the outfield. Honestly, I kind of chalked the day into my own personal win column before the first pitch was thrown. Boof is my favorite, and having him back (sort of) finally made the season seem right to me. Better late than never. Clearly this is what threw my season off. Not finding a suitable temporary replacement baseball boyfriend really forced me to get my needs met with other teams this season, and that's just not right.

Anyway, I'm much better now.

And the game was pretty awesome too.

I have spent much of the last few weeks saying things like "this is NOT the AL Central of 2006" in spite of the Tigers/Twins scoreboard watching grudgematch. But I will admit that now I'm having a touch of Deja Vu. It definitely feels like we are replaying that last game scenario of '06. A promising but green and inconsistent young pitcher gets passed over for an equally inconsistent but much older pitcher when the final game of the season rurns out to actually mean something afterall. Except the role of Scotty Baker will now be played by Brian Duensing, and the role of Carlos Silva will now be played by Carl Pavano. And that's not me complaining (in spite of my well-documented dislike and distrust of one former Mr. Milano), I mean, that day turned out pretty well.

However tomorrow turns out, all of the players on our team now have at least experienced what a playoff atmosphere at the Dome is like anyway. Today's supersized crowd was loud and pround, and tomorrow it's going to be even crazier. Plus there will be Homer Hankies!

I do feel a little bad about needing to beat up on the Royals though. I get the same feeling as I do when I visit the dog shelter and can't bring all the poor homeless puppies home with me. I hope the Royals know it's not personal. Especially Billy Butler and Zack Greinke. I had to shelve my Butler/Greinke love for the weekend....but I promise that once this is over, things will go back to normal.

Of course, to top off the evening, Jen from Lipgloss & Baseball and I wound up walking right behind Jose Mijares at the Mall of America. Now, of all the players we could randomly stumble upon, Jose Mijares wouldn't be my FIRST choice....especially today. But hey, it is what it is. And it did lead to an awesome Those Girls phone conversation:

Me, whispering: Guess what I'm doing right now!
Casey: What!?
Me: Walking behind Jose Mijares at the Mall of America!
Casey: Have you gone up to him and blurted out something random and embarrassing yet?
Me: um...No....
Casey: That's weird. And very unlike you.

I didn't bother Jose Mijares though. But there was this weird awkward part where for some reason we all kept walking back and forth around each other, like 5 times because apparently none of us in either party knew where we were going. In hindsight, I clearly should have broken up the awkward cycle with a friendly offer of a fist bump.

Mostly just because I think that would have been the most amusing conclusion to the anecdote.

"And then I fist bumped Jose Mijares. The End."

No judging here. This is a safe place.

2009-09-28T00:56:00.002-05:00

No, I am not dead.

2009-09-24T12:09:00.003-05:00

To the concerned folks who've emailed me, and those that have commented here, thanks....and I'm fine. I'm not dead... or maimed, even. And the other day, my mother even admonished me for neglecting this blog. That's when I know things are BAD.

I just don't really have anything amusing to say right now.

While a pennant race is always fun, and I obviously hope we win the division--just because it's kind of fun sticking it to Detroit and Chicago--I can't really get too excited about a possible playoff berth in any sort of dimension of reality.

I'm just having an off season as a superfan. To use lame relationship cliches as metaphors, I will always love the Twins, but this season I am just not IN love with them. Also...it's not you, it's me...if that helps any.

And if I've learned one thing, it's that when it comes to this blog, if I can't say something amusing or enthusiastic, I just shouldn't say anything at all.

I'm looking forward to spending the last weekend of the regular season at the Metrodome though, partaking in obsessive compulsive superstitious baseball habits I've developed and perfected over the past 20-odd years for the last time. I guess I will start fresh next season with new idiosyncrasies. Or not. We'll see.