Armless But Not Harmless

Goodbye B304

2008-06-30T19:32:00.001-07:00

Tonight is our last night sleeping in our current apartment. I am really looking forward to our new home - but it is a bit sad to say goodbye to our first place together. Patrick and I have decided to eat some take out Chinese food (all the cookware is packed) and watch a movie to celebrate/mourn the occassion. These walls have seen us through a lot - whew. We stopped by our new place today to check it out. Our neighbor greeted us and offered to help us with anything we need (!!!! - we never see, let alone get to talk with our neighbors here) AND the school even had a little welcome basket for us in the kitchen. How great is that!? There is a small area outside that is all our own... so I'm already dreaming of potting some herbs and flowers and PW has a grill awaiting him so he can show off his crazy awesome man-skills. (Thanks Wes and Shelly!) All of these things and more give us hope for great things with this move back to Multnomah -- and with that we say "Goodbye B304" with peace and gratefulness.

California With the Stepanians

2008-06-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

I finally got to a few of the pictures from our time down south with the Steps. There are a bunch on my Flickr account, so click on any of them to see the rest of the bunch.

Thank you John and Sarah for a great time!!

Moving Next Week!

2008-06-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

This is just a reminder that we are moving back onto campus at Multnomah next week. Our home community from Imago (those, at least, who can make it) is going to be spending Tuesday in heavy transport from our apartment here at Russellville over to the school, moving big stuff and little stuff and boxes and other sundry items. If anyone feels so inclined to help, we'd love to have you along! Tuesday is going to be the main moving day, though we are also going to be continuing the move throughout the week as we pack up our last remaining items, clean this apartment, and settle in to our new place. We haven't yet been assigned an MSC number for campus mail, but as soon as we know, we'll post our new mailing address as well as our unit number so anyone can drop by and visit.

Also, we got a bill from a urologist that Rach had during her ordeal returned to us this past week with our payment still sitting inside of the envelope. Attached to the $250+ check was a sticky note that basically said the insurance company ponied up a bit more money to cover the deficit, and our balance was now $0!! Praise the Lord! Money has been a bit of a stressor these past few weeks with the move coming up and needing to front $1200 just to move in, and God keeps on proving that He is faithful to provide, even in little ways like a $0 balance with the urologist!

Finally, I find that I only really go to the liquor store when I move. I went before Christmas this past year to buy Bailey's Irish Cream (for us...mmmmmmm) and Peppermint Schnapps (a present for my step-dad...long story), but I generally don't go over there. However, I was advised to go over there when I was moving one time a while back since all their boxes are super sturdy. They just chuck 'em out, box after box, and leave them in this giant recycling shed out back. You can head back and pick out the dividers for perfect book boxes. And the best part about this whole ordeal is that they are stoked that you want to take them away! Free, sturdy boxes! We look like a couple of drunks while we're moving, but that's part of the fun since MBCS is a dry campus and dry student body. I wonder if we'll get any sidelong glances...?

We're Baaaaa--aaaaack!

2008-06-25T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Sorry about the long blog hiatus. The month of June has been Kah-Razy, so blogging has been pushed aside in lieu of other pressing responsibilities. In the meanwhile, I've shot two weddings, one of which is posted at the photoblog and the other still in process. I haven't had as much time to work on that one since we left for California last Thursday and got back yesterday. We were in CA visiting our great friends, John Paul and Sarah, and helping them with their middle school Rite of Passage retreat for the 8th graders entering high school. We had a great time hanging out, but we're also very glad to be back home. Josiah, as cute and precious as he is, has been on a sleeping strike over the past couple of nights and has also developed a rather more assertive personality lately which means that his crying/yelling has increased in volume. Sleep has again become a luxury, though hopefully we'll have him back on his schedule soon, and he won't seem like he's breaking down all the time. ;)

We're moving back onto campus at Multnomah next week, so nayone who's in the area is welcome to tag along and help pack/move/unpack if they would like to. It ought to be a great time!! Be sure to check out Sarah Stepanian's blog to see pictures of baby Nina and Josiah together. As soon as I get some time, I'll post some that I took, too!

on being a mom and still being "Rachel"...

2008-06-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

This morning Josiah woke up early. Wake up time is usually seven - today it was 5:30. Patrick (bless his heart) stumbled out of bed to give the kiddo his pacifier and reswaddle him. This HUGE act of love only served to frustrate Josiah even further. He did not want blankets and a binky... he just wanted food. I have to confess that I did not drag myself out from under our warm comforter out of great concern for my child's aching belly - but more out of a desire for the crying to stop and Patrick (who was kept at the OG for soooo long yesterday) to get some sleep. So Josiah and I snuggled in on the love seat for his early breakfast. I thought maybe I could get away with just putting him back to bed afterwards -- but the kid had other plans. I could feel the frustration and exhaution taking over me - and I just felt like crying. So I did. And as I was sitting next to Josiah on the bed -- him smiling at me as tears rolled down my cheeks I realized how silly this all was. I used to LOVE the morning. When I was in college I was one of those crazy people who got up before the rest of the world to go for a run, shower, have some alone time, cram for a Greek quiz and then snag a muffin and coffee on my way to class and STILL be full of joy. Who is this woman who feels such great indignation at being woken up early?!

This is a story that has happened before -not in the exact way obviously.... I don't, nor have I ever in the past, had any other babies. But I get tired... and I loose my love of life. These last couple years have been crazy with trying to figure out how to be a wife, a mom, a member of our church, a friend... I can't remember the last time I spontaneously went to the ocean. It has been far, far too long since a frisbee has been thrown with these hands. My muscles have not ached with pain after running sprints for ages. And I am sure the shops on 23rd miss my presence terribly. I really want to learn to invite Josiah into the things that I love -- that maybe our life doesn't have to just be about baby food and cookbooks and novels and what movie to rent when Patrick is home for the evening.

I've been stuck in this weird spot since getting married and especially since becoming a mom. I am now the one worrying about my family eating healthy (though I secretly still just eat mac and cheese when PW is at work), making sure we go to the dentist, schedualing doctor appointments.... uggg... and feeling so lonely. I guess if I'm honest what I really want is that all our dear friends from college were our neighbors and were having babies too -- but that's not reality and instead I have to go meet strangers and their babies and never really end up getting known.... because babies are busy and so are their moms -- it seems there is no time for frisbees in this world I have entered.

Sorry for such a terribly honest blog -- it's probably not the best place for such things. I know it's not. I just had to tell someone.

Some Updates

2008-05-31T22:49:00.000-07:00

So, I officially shot my first solo wedding on the 16th of May. It was kinda intense and VERY hot, but I'm pretty satisfied with the results. You can check 'em out at the photography blog. In other news, Josiah absolutely hates peas. Last week, he came down with a baby ear infection that made him all sorts of miserable--not sleeping, not eating much, not happy. But, fortunately, the infection seems to have passed and he's back to his fun little snuggly curious self. He's getting so big and doing so many things that it blows mmind sometimes. Like today, he wanted his blue pacifier to chew on (not suck. chew), but he couldn't quite reach far enough into the little box that it was in to get it. So, he grabbed the box and pulled it over to himself and then grabbed the pacifier. That might seem like a simple thing, and maybe 7 month old babies are supposed to be able to do it...old hat. But for me, it was crazy to see him so easily solve that problem. He's a growing boy.

I have two more weddings coming up in the next few weeks, and Rach and I are gearing up for California toward the end of June. Then, Rach's folks will be descending on PDX for a little while right as we're moving into our new place on campus. What a whirlwind, eh? Rach has also started to teach me greek so that I'll be a bit more prepared once the school year hits and I have to take it. I've almost mastered the alphabet, dipthongs, accents, and breathing marks. I have another quiz next week. Fun!

Finally, it was great having Rach's brother Steve stay with us last week for a few days. He got done with school in the Twin Cities and then Amtrak'd it all the way out here. Whoa. It was pretty chill, all things considered, since the weather was less than awesome. Anyway, here's a few pictures to enjoy. One is Rach and Josiah at the train station waiting for Stevie to arrive. The second is Josiah in a fantastic pirate costume. ;)

The Dedication and Such

2008-05-11T17:56:00.000-07:00

For Mother's Day Josiah just gave me a diaper that must have weighed about seven pounds. I almost saved it because it was so impressive.
I'm really sorry to fail everyone on the picture end of Josiah's dedication to the Lord this morning - it completely slipped my mind... but maybe we can aquire some from others who were present. We had such a wonderful day! Patrick and I sat on our little love seat after our last guests had departed and praised God for filling our hearts with joy today. Our life has been full of crazy transition over the last year and a half - and sometimes it has felt really lonely. But today we were blessed to remember all those who stand with us in the raising of Josiah in the ways of Christ. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who came or wanted to come. It's such an honor and delight to have friends "in line" to hold our son and kiss his little cheeks and ooo and aahhh over his new little teeth. The little guy was a trooper - I don't think he even cried once. (He has kind of quit crying and mostly moans instead... especially when eating - so thanks Tim [my brother] for passing your most annoying habit to our child as well as yours. :) )

Very exciting adventures await us over the next two weeks. Patrick has his first wedding on Friday and I'm hoping to go with him as support staff. Saturday our awesome friends Missy and Chris tie the knot themselves. And Sunday Patrick and I get to spend our first intentional night without Josiah (the other times were in the hospital...)!! The next week my younger brother, Stevie, is coming to visit... which means we will probably eat a lot of Reese's Puffs cereal and play massive amounts of card games.

Oh! And very important, exciting, super big blessing: we have a place to live come July! We will be moving back on to Multnomah's campus.... but this time to the "Promise Land" of married student housing. AND we will have three bedrooms. THREE! So come visit - please!

Josiah is SO CUTE!

2008-04-29T14:42:00.000-07:00

Total Blog Madness

2008-04-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, folks! In preparation for starting back at Multnomah, I've decided that starting another blog might be in order. It feels strange to incorporate elements of theological inquiry alongside personal updates from the Wilson household and tends to give the blog a bit less consistency, not to mention that theo-entries tend to be quite lengthy by comparison to our brief thoughts regarding life, updates, etc. So, I have started a blog that will be dedicated to as much a sustained conversation as I can muster (given the craziness), and you can find it by folowing THIS LINK! Here's to head-scratching, amateur theo-inquiry!

Since I was already starting a new blog, I decided to start an informal blog to give sneak peeks at my photography as I'm in the process of developing my portfolio and doing shoots. There are a few weddings coming up this summer that I have the honor of photographing, but this blog seems like an awkward place to showcase the highlights. So, a Patrick A. Wilson Photography blog was in order (since I'm not tech-savvy enough to just adjust my dedicated site).

They are both fledgling sites, so please bear with me as they develop, and leave comments as you are wont to do. Feel free to link either of these new blogs on your own sites as well. All three are now open to the public!

First Attempt at Solid Food

2008-04-17T10:32:00.000-07:00

So, we introduced solid food to Josiah on Tuesday to mixed reviews. He seemed to enjoy the novelty of it for a while, but that slowly went south as food spread to the reaches of his face rather than his belly. It ended with shrieking, but all in all, it was a fun experience. Here are some pictures (with an extra one from a few weeks ago).

It's been a "sigh of contentment" day...

2008-04-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

Right now I am listening to Nickel Creek and eating no bake cookies out of the mixing bowl. It's 68 degrees outside (according to our computer) - it's breezy and perfect. Reminds me of Minnesota in the summertime - without the humidity and misquitos. :) Josiah and I walked to Target between his morning and afternoon nap to get some essentials -- including baby sunscreen. As I stopped outside of Home Depot, next to the labor disputers...., I slathered our little precious one in the sunblock and the smell hit me --- sigh... smells like summer. :) Josiah is finally sleeping through all his naps like a dream and Patrick is only working a lunch shift today - so he'll be home for the evening. I'm not sure I can think of a better end to a wonderful day than to hang out with him... so good. so good.

So, this came up on BBC's newsreel today...

2008-04-09T21:17:00.001-07:00

This made me laugh, so I had to share. Click it or Ticket.

In other news, I'm home alone with the baby. It's a little weird being here alone with him sleeping because this basically doesn't ever happen, but since Rach started back sliging coffee at the 'Buck, Wednesday nights are boys' night in. We'll have to wait until Josiah is bigger for Infirmary Ball, though.

Wedding Photography

2008-04-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in this business too, now. I've been taggin along to a couple of weddings to get a bit of experience under my belt and some images to place in my portfolio. Enjoy!

Josiah at Bath Time

2008-03-22T08:06:00.001-07:00

Quote of the Day (from yesterday...)

2008-03-08T07:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I decided to try out our newly borrowed Jeep umbrella stroller. (Thanks Meehans!) Josiah freaked out a bit at first... and I kind of freaked out the whole time. I don't know what I thought might happen - he just seemed so vulnerable without his carseat (which he sits in with his other really intense stoller). Once we started walking he seemed to like it a lot more - he's able to see all the cars and people a lot better.
Our destination was the bank. Shortly after arriving people started talking to Josiah. People do that a lot and kind of just ignore that I'm there... I don't mind - I think I do it to other people and their babies, too. This older couple in particular started commenting to one another about how cute Josiah is. The man says to the woman "He sure is a cute baby" and the woman responds "Yeah. He's so cute because his mama is so ugly." I was so shocked all I could do was say "Wow. Thank you" in a very sarcastic tone. She kept talking to my little one and I guess he smiled at her. She responded "Oh! He smiled... he knows a nice lady when he sees one - he knows I was just kidding about his mama..." I told her he might forgive her and secretly wished I could nudge Josiah and tell him to stop smiling at her. :)

Marching Forward

2008-03-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

It's been a while now since Patrick or I have written. The plague of mono took over our household and it's taken us a while to get back on our feet. Fortunately, Patrick had it when he was 15 and Josiah is too little to carry it - so I'm the only one falling asleep in the middle of sentences. Patrick has been extra busy, though - being both dad, mom, and caregiver to mom... you can give him a high five for his awesomeness when you see him. I'm getting well again just in time, though! This weekend I get to celebrate 24 years of life with some "girls only time" and then next week we head down to CA to rejoice with our friend Julie as she gets married!! This week Patrick and I finished the third season of LOST. We had started watching from the beginning after my surgery to help pass the recovery time. Recovery has ended up being much longer than anticipated.... so we're hoping and praying that the end of LOST for now means the end of illness for now as well. Because geez - what else will we do if we get sick. :)

Ugh...what a night...

2008-02-15T00:19:00.000-08:00

I just got home from the Olive Garden. We close at 10:00pm, but there was a group of people who didn't leave until about 11:15pm, and I slipped through our apartment door at about 11:55pm. We had people waiting for hours to get OG food tonight. I had a couple who were dressed to the "9s" and rode in a LIMO just to get shrimp alfredo!! How is this justifiable?! I think that the allure of Valentine's Day is lost on me. I love my wife, but this just feels like the glitz and glamour version of love, kind of like how obsessively following the lives of particular celebrities makes you feel like they are your friend.

I guess that I feel like holidays like these could be meaningful if it weren't for the dull roar of advertising and social expectations to buy more and more. "If you really love this person, you'll buy her a ______________!" How bogus is that?! I'm on the verge of a rant, so I had better slow down a bit.

Rachel babysat tonight for some folks from our home community at Imago. I'm not sure what they did, but Jeremy took Laura out to do something. I hope that they went somewhere that didn't have a 2-hour wait to get a table... Rach said that Selah was SO good tonight, and that was a major blessing to hear. It's been a little rough in the Wilson household with Josiah not wanting to nap so much. According to "Baby Wise", he might be going through a growth spurt, which means that all his 0-3 month clothes that barely fit him now may very well be on the way out. He has an awesome pirate costume in his bigger clothes, but I think we have to wait for 6 months before that one gets to be worn.

Well, a glass of chocolate milk and a cheese sandwich later, this tired ol' poop is about to turn in.

This day in pictures...

2008-02-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

We decided to take some pictures of Josiah today. Rach took the one of the two of us. Josiah was in the middle of making a point about something. For the others, Rach held up a quilt as a passable backdrop for some fun portraits. I hope you enjoy!

Oh no!

2008-02-07T20:06:00.000-08:00

So Josiah has started this thing where he really likes to lay on his right side. He's done it so much now that whatever remains of his baby-hair is now missing from that side as well as the back. (He's looking more and more like an old man.) Tonight I had him on our bed while we chatted and put on his pajamas - and he, of course, chose to lay on his right side. Well, while I was trying to get his legs into his sleeper he accidently rolled all the way over on to his tummy. (A small disclaimer about Josiah: he really hates being on his tummy) Instead of turning the kid over - I decided to wait and see what the young one would do. He's been so close to rolling over while on his tummy... I've been waiting with baited breath for him to do it. Well -- it was a no go. The poor guy just writhed on the bed with grunts of frustration and I, being the loving mother that I am, collapsed with giggles and called Patrick to leave him a message of the ordeal. No worries - I picked the child up and we shared a good laugh about it - finished getting on the ole' PJ's and enjoyed a reading of "What Star Is This?" (Thanks Auntie Jill). The kid fell asleep with just one peep tonight - I think it exhausted him.

Some Josiah Pics

2008-02-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

The outcry has reached a fevered pitch. So, here are a few more pictures of Josiah. Rach is leaving me alone with him on Saturday, so maybe we'll take a few more then.

Happy Three Months, Josiah!!!

2008-01-30T08:06:00.000-08:00

The baby is three months old today! I think that means we've survived the "fourth trimester" - whoo hoo! He's doing really well - chatty and showing off his muscles to all who will watch.

Pants

2008-01-24T13:48:00.000-08:00

That's right - after almost three months of cathaders and skirts I am now wearing pants. Jeans even... my old favorite pair from before Josiah started taking over my body. Patrick and I are so, so very excited to be coming to the end of this ordeal!! Many thanks from the depths of our hearts to all who have been praying for us.
Josiah is - as almost always - a great delight. He's started this thing where he'll yelp until you look at him. And then as soon as you turn your eyes and ask "what?" he just smiles and cooos - like he's saying "oh, that's all. I just needed you to look over here."... or maybe "gotcha again, suckers!" :)
Patrick just left to go get the car towed. God has been so good to us - an old dear friend has offerred to help us out in fixing it. Thanks, Ben! And thanks, Kerri, for reading our blog!

Website!!!

2008-01-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

So, my friend Chris built a website for me in exchange for taking pictures of his wonderful family. I think that I got the better end of that deal! Check it out!

Anyone have an umbrella?

2008-01-16T14:18:00.000-08:00

Because it kind of feels like Patrick, Josiah, and I are in one of those cartoons with an angry rain cloud following us everywhere - just pouring. We had to bring the car down to the shop because it wasn't working well... again - and it turns out the "head gasgit" is leaking. Now - after growing up in my father's household I should be able to understand what that means... but I haven't a clue. The bummer part about cars is that Patrick and I are clueless and when they tell us it will take 2000 dollars to fix it - we have no idea if they're bluffing or not. Patrick hopped on the Max today to pick up the car and get a second opinion. We both are fighting the worry that wants to creep up inside. I think Josiah can feel it, too. He's having a rough day and not sleeping well. Us too, buddy, us too. I was reading the Psalms today about the richness of God's word. Over and over again the Psalmists "pants" for the word, desiring it more than gold. And I want to trust and rest in the promises of God and want Him more than gold... even though it would be so fun to open our door and find a stack of gold bricks waiting outside. I remember the countless times that the Lord has provided money in the most surpising ways - and want to be confident that even if money doesn't come - even if we have to sell all our possessions and don't even get to give the money to the poor but rather just become the poor instead - we will still have joy and a hope that is everlasting. We have a home with many mansions awaiting our arrival, not to mention the creator of the universe. As for today - I praise God that at the end of the day I can crawl into our enormous soft bed in our warm, dry apartment and have two of the best looking guys to hang out with. Maybe Josiah and I will start a band and play outside the Olive Garden while Patrick is at work... milk those customers for all they're worth ;).

Home

2008-01-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

They finally let us go free from the hospital on Wednesday. I am so happy to be home with my husband on our giant pillow top bed with a soft blanket and our little boy back in our arms. It was quite the ride - always more than we expect for the Wilson family. I picked up a kidney infection after the surgery on Friday and battled fevers of 103 for a couple days - they wouldn't let us leave until my body calmed down and I had received a few bags full of antibiotics. I'm feeling much, much better now - though exhausted from the whole ordeal. The Lord has been so good to us - surrounding us with wonderful friends to watch our son and keep me company. I'm really hopeful that the surgery worked. I don't seem to be leaking urine anymore... and attribute that as an act of God - since it was really debatable the first couple days. Just a little over a week and I'll have the stents removed (a painful, but necessary process) and then one more week after that until I will be tube free and have use of my bladder again. After three months, it's a little daunting to think of using those musceles. It's really fun to be able to know that the day is approaching quickly when I will be able to wear pants - jeans even.
Josiah looks about twice as big after not seeing him for about 5 days. He's adjusted really well back to breastfeeding and being at home - I'm very proud of him... it hasn't been easy on him either.
Patrick had to get up early this morning to go to training for the Olive Garden so he could become a trainer. Hopefully it's not as awful as he expects it to be and they have some good donuts or something. He's pining away for some free time so he can take pictures of our handsome son... who I think just woke up and is calling my name. (I think most of his cries are really "Mom! Mom!")