Fat, frumpy & fifty...

Miscellaneous Monday #3

2010-01-04T21:35:00.005Z

whilst waiting for some shops to open in Kensington

(it was going on 10.15am)

I marvelled at some of the windows and contents

and not at a certain reflection...

click to enlarge , if you must

Loneliness...

2009-12-29T20:03:00.002Z

is next to god awfulness.

l enjoyed my London trip on so many levels. Though particularly because I had time to suit myself, time away from pressure of work, time away from the kids, all types of timetables. Time away from decision making, which I abhor with a passion!

Sometimes, though thankfully not often when l am alone. Sitting in a coffee shop. Or in line in the bank or supermarket. Waiting in the car in line for the car park. Usually alone waiting. I get the heebee jeebee's. In plain speak a panic or anxiety attack. It comes in the form of a butterfly fluttering in my chest, a screaming in my head. Silent screaming. But I feel the noise. White noise. That drives darkness through the day like a knife through butter. It lasts but a few moments, but a dry fear stays a while. Remaining hidden amongst the layers of feelings and experiences we call life.

Whilst walking alone through the streets of London, it lurked. Unacknowledged. Invisible. Whilst feeling the beat of the city's heart. I walked. Talked less. Even to myself. Thought. Wondered. Wandered and became myself again. The me that is my core. The child. The woman. Mother and wife by happenstance or a mild determination. Fate. Perhaps the person I will be in my last heart beat. My last breath. She walked beside me in the darkness. She stirred and I quietly remembered.

Later I was gently gripped by the hand. And suddenly disconcerted by my surroundings. The naked room in which l slept. Two nights. A rectangular room. High ceilings. Magnolia walls. A single bed. Crisp white sheets. One blanket. One bedside table. Light overhead flush in the ceiling. One small dining table. One dining chair. One wardrobe. Dark wood. One occasional chair. One sink mirror. Clean. Crisp. Basic. Raw. Functional. Somewhere to put my toothbrush. Lay my head.

The nakedness of the room. Cell like. Was sad and lonely. Pungent with fear. Evoking memories of a time of solitary living. For me a great hollow. A nothingness. That nothingness slowly crept its way up into me. Foreboding soaked its way through my skin. Leaving a damp patch of lonely. A bruise from days gone by. A gentle reminder of how it felt. Isolated by circumstances. Utterly alone. Christmas and New Year came and went. Unprepared I chipped away at the ice box for remnants. Sleeping to escape the clock. Cocooned in lonesomeness.

Nowadays I can yearn for alone time. Very different from lonely time.

Miscellaneous Mondays #2

2009-12-28T23:57:00.000Z

here is my offering for another image with no home....yet.

Pavement art, Manchester.

Happy Birthday to my daughter!

2009-12-28T00:25:00.000Z

She'll probably be mortified, but it is her big day and I wish her a happy day.

'believe in yourself and magic will happen..'

love always

Mum

9 million bicycles

Something to keep you going...

2009-12-26T19:20:00.000Z

a few days more ... until we start all over again for New Years Eve.... lets make dates with our girlfriends in our diaries NOW! Something to look forward to...

for this month....

OMGosh we gotta see this one!!! Gerry Butler, DING DONG!!!

and.....

and....

and...

and in the summer.....

A Sprinkle of Magic

2009-12-24T10:00:00.002Z

soft candlelight

the crunch of giftwrap

childrens' laughter

sparkling eyes

flushed cheeks

stockings on the bedpost

glittering tree baubles

jingling bells

a partridge in a pear tree

the crunch of footsteps on snow

twinkling tree lights

hot mince pies

squeals of delight

the scent of spices

the laughter of loved ones

a sprinkling of love

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

TO ALL MY FRIENDS

xoxox

Sara x

Miscellaneous Mondays #1

2009-12-21T09:25:00.005Z

DarylE has wondered up this great theme for Mondays (monochrome or not) for all those photos we've taken and they don't seem to fit into any obvious category. Thus, here commences a 'mish mash' of the miscellaneous!

'Leaning on a lamp-post.....'

Midnight Regent Street, London

Fabulous Frocks!

2009-12-18T20:46:00.009Z

...Fab Frocks

from the V & A costume rooms...

(click to enlarge )

bodice detail from a Celia Birtwell designed fabric & dress late 1960's

1920's beaded column gown, Jean Patou

Zandra Rhodes early 1970's

A classic Chanel three piece worn by Gabrielle herself

Catherine Walker dress & jacket designed for Diana, HRH Princess of Wales

for the Royal Tour, Hong Kong

looks like something Morticia would wear!

fabulous glass beaded back detail

floral Dior dress garnished with beads

and a jewel in the crown

a Vivienne Westwood gown I would love to own!

... and here is a soupcon of fashions of the future

new designs from young designers, students of fashion

ME time...

2009-12-10T20:33:00.012Z

...does not necessarily equate to quiet time, at all! I'm home and l'm so tired. I've walked and l've walked! The train trip down from Carlisle to London was uneventful, thus newspaper, magazine, book, ipod... but on a Pendolino it was fast, blink and you'd miss the countryside whizzing by...

After checking into my hotel I wondered around Covent Garden

browsed the fancy food shops

then went to The National Portrait Gallery to view

and went to The Haymarket Theatre and watched Breakfast at Tiffanys

I then walked all the way from Picadilly via Regent & Oxford streets

to my hotel at Lancaster gate. at midnight. Phew!

Day two - the morning was spent finding then ratching around in the Persephoone bookshop. Bliss! I chose three books to wrap and put under the tree for ME!

Then I went to The Victoria & Albert Museum

where I spent hours in the Costume Rooms

this is a Vivienne Westwood, I wish!!

(more fab dresses in another post)

then viewed the marvellous Maharajah Exhibition

and then in the evening I went to the Royal Albert Hall, a first for me, to see

'A Not so silent Christmas'

featuring Rufus & Martha Wainwright

Kate & Anna McGarrigle

Boy George, Guy Garvey, Ed Hagerty,

& Dawn French & Jennifer Saunders-retired-

believe it or not this is Boy George & Rufus singing Blue Christmas!

A real fun night.

Windows into Christmas

2009-12-10T20:27:00.008Z

(double click to enlarge most of the images)

London's Oxford Street windows at nearly midnight,

based on the Pantomine fairy tales and...

(that says tock btw, l know what it looks like...!)

OMGish fab Vivienne Westwood windows (strictly panto of course)

and a christmas kitsch bling Louis Vuitton

... santa baby, put one under the tree,

for me...

Visit MamaGeek and Cecily, creators of Photo Story Friday.

Flying solo....

2009-12-07T18:50:00.003Z

I'm off on a three day trip to London. Alone. Solo. Free from house, home, kids, timetables and clock watching. This has been planned since August and l'll tell you all about it when I return. See you all soon!

My Artful weekend

2009-12-06T19:03:00.011Z

I often promise myself to spend some time pursing my creative bents and most often I do not! This weekend has been an exception. Yesterday I attended an Iconography day workshop, with great anticipation as last year I couldn't get booked onto the Madonna Icon workshop.

I greatly admire many religious iconic paintings, and am always drawn to them for some reason. Duccio's Maesta being one of my favourites and it moved me to tears the last time I saw it in London. It left me deeply affected. I had to sit down as I was overcome with palpitations and light-headedness. I also was similarly affected each time I have visited the La Faruk triptych

in the Kelvingrove Museum in Glasgow, without knowing the amazing history of the paintings.

So armed with my colour copies of these favourites and of a few favoured angel images

thrown in for good luck, I attended with my best sable brushes, palettes and enough enthusiasm I hoped to see me through.

We were given gesso prepared wood panels, fine pages of 24ct gold leaf, size, pigment and egg yoke to make our own egg tempera. Six hours of bliss. No distractions, no phones, kids, computers, demand-less me time! I left with my palette of tempera to finish off 'writing' my icon at home.

Sunday- I finished off the Angel Icon, as I had dreamt about him - Archangel Michael the protector- and his eyes were too modern so I woke up and got out my table easel and completed it to my satisfaction.

I then touched up a watercolour I had been meaning to tidy up for a year.

In our last house I had used one of the greenhouses as my den

unfortunately as the weather cooled the condensation overnight damaged the painting.

I removed all my gear right away and it has been packed up

and so mentally out of reach for sometime. Until this weekend.

It is all now in the conservatory.

At hand. No excuses now. I even started a small painting of one our beloveds.

Barney who passed a few years ago. I wanted to try and do him justice, I have never attempted to paint animals. It's only light and shade after all, but I've started it and there is a likeness,

so now I have a project on the go and l'm all revved up!

...and yes Barney only had one eye!

Hip op'

2009-12-02T17:13:00.005Z

For all of you who follow Moannie -'The View from this end' here is an update on her progress.

Her hip surgery was Monday. She was aghast at the fact she had to be there for the ungodly hour of 6.30-7AM!! But got there she did. Yesterday was day 2 and I spoke to Dad, aka JP for news last night, as he had visited in the afternoon. He said as she was still rather drugged up with morphine, lucky thing, he said it wasn't worth ringing as she might fall asleep, in a narcoleptic fashion mid sentence.

Today I rang her about an hour ago and she sounded bright and fairly lucid considering!

She is in a lot of pain, but even so she has been walking with supervision. She'll be home in a few days and no doubt she will have much to say to you all soon.

Vintage Fashion Shoot

2009-11-27T17:20:00.009Z

A couple of months ago I mentioned HERE

that I was relaunching my vintage clothing business

and that my home was rendevouz central for a fashion shoot,

the clothes were sourced from my online shop

for the Christmas fashion feature in the December edition

of our city's glossy magazine Carlisle Living.

It came out yesterday and l'm pretty pleased with it,

if only a little disconcerted that a model is standing

in the middle of the garden conifers,

my conservatory couch is incongruously

(sorry should that read edgey?!) on the wet lawn

and a 'drunken blonde' is badly hovering my living room carpet!

All's fair in love and fashion, I guess!

www.sarasattic.co.uk

if you click twice they will enlarge!

all featured dresses & more available from

or direct from Sara

Keys in the song that is life

2009-11-22T23:00:00.003Z

The sound is full. Wide. Deep. Generous. Meaningful. Its pulse resonates within me. On several levels. It is a sound which is secure. Protective and comforting. A sound which satisfies. It wraps around me. A cocoon of sound.

A while ago a group of us were talking about our favourite music. I wondered why some pieces of music, a tune. Moves me. Why does it reach into the very core of my being and for no understandable reason it fills me up. Making me catch my breath. I creep inside of myself. I quietly weep.

Perhaps some melodies, tunes or compositions, reach us because the beat is in time with our personal heart beat. Our heartbeat of life. Our own rhythms.

The first piece of classical music I ever really listened to and loved and retained.Was a piano piece. The first classical piece I heard live in concert. Was that same tune. Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No 1. Almost any piece of music which has the piano as its key sound. Talks to me.

I was pondering upon a tune the lovely Erin mentioned in a post. It reminded me that blog posts are sometimes like pieces of music. I am not able to just pop by and read posts. Their rhythms too sustain me. They play with me. Provoking and inspiring.

Why is that? Is there a connection or is it simply the cadence in the words and notes?

...it starts proper about 1m 40secs in!

I don't get it!

2009-11-22T13:43:00.006Z

I really don't understand the current ritual bullying that is the voting british public's obsession of the moment. Katie Price has attracted criticism, tabloid headlines and vitriol that would be better directed in my opinion on sex offenders rapists, thieves, murderers!

What has the woman done that is so awful? Has she left her children locked in at home, without adult supervision, without food and gone on holiday for a week? No. Has she stolen, lied, wrongly accused?

Is her crime the fact that she spends her own money on pink cars, bling and luxe holidays, botox, boobs and benders. Is her crime the fact that she has seemingly built a multi million £ brand around herself? Is this to protect her from the rejection she appears to expect? From men, her father, her childrens' fathers. A self fulfilling prophecy I suspect.

She may have different values or standards of dress. It may not be to our taste. She may have already found another man to replace Peter in her affections, but she doesn't, like many singletons with children, introduce them to a different uncle every month. She loves her kids and her horses. She works hard, her kids are well looked after. I'm not sure we would ever be friends, we are so different but then all know of her are what the press, magazines and tv spout. So who am I to judge? Who will be next after Kate, we've had Ulrika, Victoria, perhaps Colleen?

In the jungle she has been humiliated day by day by the voting public and it is not pleasant to watch. Tv executives rub their hands with glee, good tv and they don't limit the tasks. She has reportedly been well paid to return to the jungle. She has set herself up for this and 'we' have put her in the stocks and are throwing every disgusting fetid tomato we can find at her. Day after day. I feel ashamed.

A programme that was once funny and interesting to see the characters behind the famous and infamous faces, (isn't George Hamilton sweet?) just like other reality celeb programmes that are I believe wilting under the strain. Big brother is past its sell by date. So is X factor. Even Strictly has its moments of humiliating crushing critique. The jungle is not a place I would go and indulge in these trials, for any money. So I do have a respect for them. But at what cost and what gain? It's the public I am ashamed of. We set these celebs up in their towers and then tear them down again.

It says more about us I suspect than them.

A Rainy Day Out...

2009-11-21T20:46:00.003Z

On wednesday Larry had a business appointment in Glasgow,

fortuitously I cadged a lift and

I spent the day at Glasgow's Kelvingrove Museum & Art Gallery

A place l've been to several times and I always find it peaceful and stimulating

it can be every busy, but as it was (typically) a rainy day, with gale force winds forecast,

most sensible people stayed home and dry, so I had the place virtually to myself

(click any to enlarge)

sculpture: Queen Victoria welcomes...

Sophy Cave's installation of floating head

juxtaposed wildlife and a WW2 Spitfire

Anna Pavlova, John Lavery

Scottish Painters Room

another quiet, empty corridor

stunning Charles Rennie Mackintosh fireplace

the main hall

more sculpture

as I left the building, the light was fading fast,

the lamps and trees were twinkling through the rain

Name game

2009-11-19T22:27:00.002Z

Yes another one! Scraping the barrel? Not really. Firstly I have to confess I really don't like the word Meme, unless it's pronounced as the french say it, Meme means the same and is pronounced MEM silent second E!! A me-me as some pronounce it, well I guess is releveant cos these things are all about ME!

Anyhow I stole this one from the fabulous Fhina and the lovely Lime also completed it hilariously and I so refuse to compete with hers as she is a very funny haha heehee lady. I love the way she reads differently into the questions. A rebel quite obviously!

Name Game Meme...

1.Your rock star name (pet, current car)
DOG BERLINGO ( NOT very drugs, sex and more drugs and sex, a shame!)

2.Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe)
PAVLOVA PUMP ( sounds rather rude to me)

3.Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal)

PURPLE PEACOCK

4.Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born)
ANN TANKERTON

5.Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name)
WILSA

6.Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
RED GIN ( sounds like a racing horse, apt?)

7.NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers)
JACK MARTIAL

8.Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) CHANEL CHOCOLAT

9.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)

CHILD CINCINATTI ( teacher was called Julia Child actually in Montreal)

10.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
AUTUMN CHRISTMAS ROSE

11.Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now)
RASPBERRY FLIP FLOP (someone has been peeking round that changing room curtain again!)

12.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
MUESLI BANANA SYCAMORE

13.Movie star name (pet, street where you lived)
PIPPA TURNBERRY or if I have a sex change BUTCH CARLTON

HERE is a link to movie stars and their REAL names, quite fun...

Healing powers

2009-11-11T18:29:00.002Z

I have been pondering over our personal healing powers.

The inner strength, we all have. We find it deep, deep within us. Often at times, when we would least expect to dredge up another vat of determination and energy.

Other times it is within the things we cling to when we are in need of succour and comfort. The things we collect or unwittingly keep beside us. Around us. We feel secure within the blanket of our own surroundings. A haven.

This shoring up of personal warmth, that keeps the fear at bay and our sanity in a suitcase by the door.

The shopping bags of cheap tricks, to sustain and fill us when relationships sour or times are hard.

Our personal favourites. Our hot water bottles of love.

Casseroles, chunky soup and bread, chocolate.

Smells pungent of memories.

A tray set with a pot of tea and antique cups and plates. To warm.

Crackling fires, a seat by the hearth,

gazing into the flames of a sunset, that lasts as long as it is fed.

To me, healing powers are in meals, prepared with love by family

food which is a constant friend. Or foe.

The clutter that chokes our homes, spills from the drawers, vomits from the shelves

but which serves to warm our hearts, effuse our minds, confuse our hearts,

we choose the wallpaper of books and other detritus, which fixes us

to the floorboards of our daily lives.

The books read and kept, are friends that we cannot bear to part with,

they are like the memories that hold stories of love, strength, misery, fear and hope...

and so we hold onto the physical, as well as the emotional warmth.

Lest we forget

2009-11-11T13:16:00.001Z

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Over the top!

2009-11-10T17:51:00.002Z

The prolific Scriptor Sinex has kindly given me an Over the Top Award. One of the requirements is that I complete a list of questions using only one word. Ouch! As you know l am a woman of few words, NOT, so it was a challenge to complete this list.

1. Where is your cell phone? Charging

2. Your hair? Unkempt

3. Your mother? Steadfast

4. Your father? Impassioned

5. Your favourite food? Pavlova

6. Your dream last night? Forgotten

7. Your favourite drink? Gin

8. Your dream/goal? Happy

9. What room are you in? Kitchen

10. Your hobby? Creativity

11. Your fear? Fear

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Breathing

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren't? Focused

15. Muffins? Cinnamon

16. Wish list item? 2.55

17. Where did you grow up? Everywhere

18. Last thing you did? Drive

19. What are you wearing? Frown

20. Your TV? Online

21. Your pets? Gone

22. Friends? Fundamental

23. Your life? unsettled

24. Your mood? Neutral

25. Missing someone? Yes

26. Vehicle? Berlingo

27. Something you're not wearing? Bra

28. Your favourite store? Books

29. Your favourite colour? Purple

30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

32. Your best friend? Faithful

33. One place that I go to over and over? Memories

34. One person who emails me regularly? Work

35. Favourite place to eat? Moannie's

And now to pass the Award on to any visitor who wishes to participate! No pressure!

On my way to work - Monochrome Monday

2009-11-09T08:02:00.009Z

Monochrome Monday hosted by Aileni

As it is very frosty and cold I am driving to work, shameful, yes,

as its only 1.75 miles uphill down hill in nose to tail traffic.

I park in the nearest car park, courtesy of the City Council, a perk of the job.

Thank you very much.

And this is what l see on my short walk from car park to work!

silhouette of castle gate

looking back over my shoulder where l have walked from

the very ineffectual Millennium Bridge

this is the entrance to the underpass,

which takes us under the dual carriageway that separates

the Castle from the city, the Museum and Cathedral

this is the underpass decorated with old local industrial machinery

and the Cursing Stone produced for the Millennium

and inscribed with a centuries old curse

it receives the wrath of locals as it is considered the cause of all our recent ills,

Foot & mouth and the Floods

the marble floor containing prominent local and Reiver's name

the Whispering Wall, solid glass brick, come alive with audio,

locals relive memories of times gone by, war stories, family histories and more...

Tullie House Museum & Art Gallery

this is where FFF works

Strictly Se-VEN!

2009-11-04T10:34:00.012Z

In the spirit of true friendship, and as I am feeling so thankful for my blogland friends. Words of encouragement, support, advice and real friendship, has grown from the daunting challenge of putting ourselves' out there' and digging deep to find words of expression. Hands reach out and I am in awe of the generosity and selflessness out there!

So I would like to give my very own Soulful Blogger award out to some seriously soulful bloggers.

THE SOULFUL AWARD is for bloggers I find particularly insightful, original, humorous, inspiring and yes soulful!

The online Dictionary definition of soulful is -full of or expressing deep emotion

The Thesaurus offered up these synonyms -ardent, deep, expressive, feeling, fiery, fervid, impassioned, meaningful, moving, passionate, stirred, stirring, tender, touching

Sniffles & Smiles- You are a courageous star, I adore you!

The Blue Kimono- silent but violent!

Nuts in May- deep, often poignant and very eloquent

Expatmum - I'm just so in awe of how many balls she has! In the air!

Alcoholic Daze- for her bravery in the face of adversity

SINK - an inspiration to all parents and mad manic mamas! RESPECT!

Lakeviewer (65whatnow) - I hope l get to be where she is now

Shrinky- it al seems so effortless. (and I know it isn't)

Yesterday I received an award from the tenacious Rosiero and in the spirit of these awards I happily accept and I would like to pass it on to seven other bloggers

Kreativ Blogger Award

Thank the person who gave this to you.
Copy the logo and place it in your blog.
Link the person who nominated you.
Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.
Nominate seven 'Kreativ Bloggers.'
Gosh seven things abut me that l haven't already revealed? And that
which may be of some interest is the difficult one! These may be quite lame!
- I hate wearing a bra! Which wasn't a problem until I had children and grew breasts. Now needs MUST! But I whip it off the moment I get home! Much to the embarrassment of the teenagers.
- I attended school in four different countries; England, Canada, Mexico and the United States.
- I am a qualified hairdresser; accredited bookseller; ex fashion buyer/retail manager; current vintage e-tailer. But I now work in a Museum & Art Gallery!
- I am a bibliophile; collector of old & new handbags & old silk scarves
- I am a hoarder. Well duh!
- I love American imported tv series', currently I'm hooked on House, In Treatment (don't even think it!), Brothers & Sisters, Greys Anatomy and True Blood. But thankfully Spooks is back tonight!
- I have moved home 23 times. So far!
And this award goes to -
House of Lime- Outrageous, hilarious and contagious
A woman of no (sic) importance- as if, our very own Fhina, my backbone at MMM's
Working mum on the verge - the juggling Queen, who still makes time to sing her heart out!
Moments from Suburbia - for her steadfastness, selflessness and friendship
PondParleys - for their dedication to the unity of bloggers on both sides of the Atlantic
Familyaffairs- for managing through adversity (relationships)
Holdingpatterns- she is steadfast, strong, like all good friends

A Sage evening #2

2009-11-01T20:22:00.008Z

I can hardly believe it was one week ago already since my lovely son accompanied me to see Freddy Kempf at The Sage in Gateshead.

This is the wonderful ceiling, doesn't it remind YOU of piano keys!

We had an outstanding evening! The room was not even half full which was a shock. But the BBC were in for the weekend and offering freethinking sessions on BBC3 so l guess that explained it. But to see Freddy live was something we had been looking forward to since we first heard he was to play in Hall one.

If you haven't been lucky enough to see the Sage inside as well as out. Hope you like the look of it.

My me last year to see and hear my favourite piece performed Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto and that was a treat too. HERE

Beethoven's Pathetique sonata Adagio Cantabile, love, love it!

This was the second piece he played, I almost forgot to breathe, my eyes leaked. Not sure why!

His encore was a 'Chopin sonata' I think it was No 11, but not sure. THANK YOU son for making it a night to remember!

A splash of colour - PSF

2009-10-30T11:01:00.001Z

The colour is my garden will not say die!

It is forcing itself through in leaves and plants

that haven't yet been gripped and frozen by Jack frost.

I was so awestruck by the impact

these small last life heartening blooms had on my eye,

I grabbed my phone and took some last moments to share with you.

a last flush of geranium

a winter rose?

a beautiful acer

if anyone can tell me what this wonderful bush is,

it did not flower in the summer, but the leaves have changed to this wonderful tones

leaves on fire on our roadside garden

japanese maple? changes from green to fire red to burgundy!

the last fuchsia bells hanging on...

Visit MamaGeek and Cecily, creators of Photo Story Friday.