Baldpastorguy's Stuff...

"I Hope My Daughter Hears the President's Speech"

2009-09-07T11:19:00.002-04:00

Jacked from John Piper's blog

September 6, 2009

"I am stunned at the outcry against the President of the United States speaking to the youth of this nation about the importance of education.

I am embarrassed by the governor of my home state saying, that the president’s plan to address them is “disruptive . . . uninvited . . . and number three . . . I don’t think he needs to force it upon the nation’s school children.”

This speech seems, for me, to be an answer to a prayer that I have prayed for the president repeatedly.

Father, the condition of our schools and families is so broken that nothing seems to be working, especially for the poor in our urban centers. Help our president to have the courage to use his amazing place of influence to speak into this situation in such a way that boys and girls would take their studies seriously and put school above sport and homework above hiphop and graduation above gangs.

O, Lord, create a culture where it is not cool to fail. Give our President the courage to call all children, especially ones who feel hopeless about academic work, to fight for knowledge the way gangs fight for turf.

And as the President plans his speech, help him to feel as helpless as he really is to meet the greatest needs of the children, so that he turns to Jesus who alone has the answer for the ruin and the wrongs of our cities. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I hope my daughter hears the speech."

Unhidden Treasure and Blindness...

2009-08-17T23:44:00.002-04:00

My stomach bothers me. Mainly just acid reflux. I take antacids. But it can be bad. Especially when out running.

Friday, I forgot to take something for my stomach before running. While I was out on the mountain, the reflux became painful. I remember saying to no one in particular (as I was alone), "It burns...my precioussssss."

When I returned to the car after much pain and lots of problems, I happened to open a compartment in which I store CD's. There, in the corner, was a tin of antacids. I had what I needed the whole time. And- here's the kicker- I had even been in that compartment above the glovebox just before the run.

The can was sitting there and I just didn't happen to see it.

This has happened to me over and over again. I'll need something and think, "Oh man! I wish I had that with me right now." Then I'll do without. Only to find out later that it was there the whole time!

For instance, I went into a restaurant in Texas once. They only take cash. And I'd been jonesing for their tacos. I reached into my pocket and realized I had no cash on me. So I drove next door to Whataburger and bought something else. I REALLY wanted the tacos. After my Whataburger meal, I got in the car and realized I had $30 stashed in there for emergencies.

I could have eated the best tacos in the world! But I settled...for Whataburger?!? That totally bites.

Walked a bike home once because I didn't think I had the stuff to fix a flat. Only to find, to my chagrin, that I had it in my backpack the whole time.

This type of thing has happened so many times in my life. Then I realized...there are times that I face struggle, temptation, the desire to sink into self-pity or take on problems alone. And I think that's all I have- just me white-knuckling it through. Holding on to my strength. My ability. My willpower.

And I fall. I screw-up or become prideful or self-centered. And the whole time, I had what I needed:

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness- 2 Peter 1:3.

I have it in Christ. In the Holy Spirit. In the indwelling power of God through the new man. I have all that I need for life and godlines. Through the vehicle of my knowledge of God and my willingness to bring glory to him in all things.

I have it in his people. Who surround, love and pray for me. Encourage me.

I have it in worship, connected with God. Doing what I was created for: praising his name.

I have it in prayer. Asking and receiving according to God's perfect will.

I have it in the scripture. It searches my heart as I search it. It reads me, strengthens me, obliterates my pride and self-centeredness. It mocks my self-pity. And it's altogether good.

I'm blind. Way too often. I'm an idiot, really. I have it all, then complain about what I need.

I'm like a man who would run for President, knowing the condition of the country. Then complain about what he's inherited (both Reagan and Obama. Just so you know- I don't need to play favorites politically. I can distrust both parties equally!).

I have it. I have it in Christ. I am blessed. I am ill-deserving and gifted with so much.

Gotta open my eyes and realize the power, the love, the truth that God has made available to me through his grace. Time for a treasure hunt!

Addicts, CSA's, Vow-Breakers and Church...

2009-08-16T23:17:00.002-04:00

So I don't pastor a normal church. Not in any sense of the word. We have attenders who continually fall back to alcohol addiction, heroin and crack. We have methadone-clinic folks and prescription drug abusers. Our folks sell blood plasma for money. And they show up at church wearing wife-beater shirts with "F*&#" tattooed down one arm and "You" down the other.

Additionally, we have a goodly number of folks who are working through CSA- Childhood Sexual Abuse. Both men and women, young (teenage) and old. None of them are working with kids, just in case you are worried. But they attend Layman.

And then there are the Vow-Breakers. I'm not talking about those who have been through divorce- that can happen to anyone and is very painful. But about those who are married and yet see no reason to continue in the vow. And they come to me for permission, absolution, advice that- truth be told- is just gonna piss them off.

I don't smile and sanction divorce. I believe God meant it when he said he hated it. I don't even flinch as I type this out. Divorce is not an option. If they guy is beating his wife or controlling her every move, she needs to get out to force major life change in him. Regardless. If she's leaving 2 year-olds at home while she seeks another high, he's gotta take them out. But the goal is almost always individual transformation and then reconciliation after a protracted period of separation.

I've witnessed miracles of faith as spouses who were cheated on were able to forgive, their husbands or wives repented and they are now together, happy, living new lives together in covenant marriage. And I've watched foolish people think they needed freedom and tear apart the hearts of wives, husbands, children. All for the lie of happiness that never comes. But the ones that make it...it's just so good.

The addicts keep seeing Jesus change them. As they follow Jesus, they get free. Over and over again. Sometimes they stumble a bit. But when they amputate the things which cause them to fall- friends who worship drugs, for instance- and place their faith in Jesus, miracles happen. Alcoholics learn that although having a beer isn't wrong, for them it is. It's their kryptonite- they can't stop at one. Drug abusers learn to cope without the anesthetizing haze of the high. They get changed.

The CSA victims are different. They're less able to talk about their pasts. More prone to shame and feeling like they can't be loved. And- truth be told- I want to beat the BLEEP out of the people who hurt them. But I'm hoping to start a support group for them soon. One that will meet without advertisement. A women's group for women and a men's group for men. So they can process and heal in Christ. And move towards healthy attitudes instead of the guilt and shame that, oddly enough, mirrors the very same things that religion produces. Jesus doesn't. But religion does.

So that's a snapshot of the church. And yeah- we have some "normal" people, too. But that just means I don't know their junk yet. Because none of us are unscarred by the world around us. And none of us can say we've never contributed to our own scars. But Jesus...he's not looking at addicts. Or CSA victims. Or vow-breakers. He's looking a people created for more. Created in his image, no matter how marred that image may be. And he knows they need him. And he meets with them through many people and places. And Layman is one of those places. And I'm just grateful to be a part of what God is doing...

What If? (and why most Christian authors suck...)

2009-07-28T20:42:00.009-04:00

I was just looking at a CBD catalog of books. Andy Stanley has a book called "The Principle Path."

Here's an excerpt: Where you want to go in life and the path you choose to get there don't always agree---despite good intentions. Teaching that our direction determines our destination, Stanley offers a story-driven, Bible-based road map to help you avoid unnecessary disappointments and attain your goals for your marriage, career, finances, and more. Includes interactive study guide. 224 pages, hardcover from Nelson.

John Maxwell has a new one coming out entitled "Put Your Dream to the Test."

Again, an excerpt: When initially conceived, our visions are often little more than vague hopes. Maxwell shows you how to transform ambiguous dreams into purposeful action plans! Let his 10 field-tested questions equip you with practical and powerful direction, inspire you to act with confidence, and guide you in creating clear and compelling pathways to achieving your goals.

I could go all Joel Osteen on you, but that guy's a total...nevermind. Here's the point- book after book after book instructs today's Christian in methods to achieve what they want. They decide what they want in career, money, marriage, life. And the books tell them how to do it- using scripture as a guide.

Ummm...here's a question: "What if...what God wants is not what you want?" "What if...God wants you to fail spectacularly? For his glory?"

Jesus, at the height of his popularity, proceeds to get rid of a crowd that's at least 30,000 strong. He loses them all! On purpose! Then he clears out a synagogue and makes the Jewish leaders fighting mad. On a roll, he loses most of his disciples as well. On purpose.

He refuses to feed the crowd bread on one day when he did the day before. Why? It wasn't hard for him to do. I mean, he's God in the flesh, for Chris...well, for someone's sake.

Jesus says, in John 6, "Oh, does this offend you? That you have to eat my flesh and drink my blood instead of being fed bread and fish. Too much for ya? Then what will you do when you see me ascend to heaven? You ain't seen nothing yet!"

And they...leave. Christ dies a year later as a single, penniless (treasurer took the money!), homeless, unemployed ex-construction worker who is less popular than a murderer (Barrabas). Wrap your brain around that one.

"Oh," you say, "but he came back!" "Yes," I reply. "That's resurrection. We don't get that till we die first."

Jesus, according to the standards of the time, failed spectacularly. For God's glory and our salvation.

"But that's Jesus. That's not us. This is post-cross. Just believe in faith and..." Hold on there, Sunshine.

Paul was beaten, stoned, often-hungry and often-escaping the death plots of both Gentiles and his fellow Jews. He was imprisoned and even the church deserted him. That includes people he'd won to Jesus and was defending before the authorities (2 Timothy 4:16). Pastors- think you're having a bad day???

He was under house arrest and chained to a Roman soldier 24/7. Couldn't even get rid of "dung" without someone present...

He was finally beheaded as a penniless ex-Jewish official under Nero's persecution. He died a jailbird pauper's death.

But...he took his faith to Rome. He changed history. He used his time in prison having pity parties. No, that's not right. He used it to reach, teach, write and pray. God help those Roman soldiers chained to that preacher! 24/7 Jesus! Through Paul, Martin Luther came to faith and unwittingly began the Reformation and Protestantism. Paul failed...spectacularly!

Peter failed over and over again. He was so mouthy even God the Father had to tell him to "zip it!" (Matthew 17 and Luke 9). He had the faith to get out of the boat, but not to continue walking. He was called "Satan" by Jesus right after a proud moment of anomalous brilliance (Matthew 16, Mark 8). He tried to cut off a soldier's ear, then ran for his life naked. He denied Christ after being warned that he'd do it and arguing the point. And tried to go back to fishing before he was restored by Jesus.

Peter was rebuked by Paul openly and, might I add, harshly! He was crucified upside down as a man who failed throughout his life. Peter's years serve as a case study in bi-polar spiritualism. In other words, the boy was nuts. He failed spectacularly over and over again!

But through his life, we identify with him in our own failures. Our own cases of missing faith and stupid remarks and outright religious hypocrisy. And we learn more about Jesus by watching Christ's stern love both rebuke and comfort a failing disciple. We read end-times theology and perseverance from his letters. (Peter, by the way, was the Bible's most explicit believer in Global Warming!) Had Peter not failed so many times, I'd wonder if I could even be called "Christian."

Hosea married a whore. Loved her, was faithful, fruitful, a husband. She was wooed and won by his love. Then she left and sold herself into prostitution. And...he went back for her! What a loser! On his gravestone it says, "Here lies a chump!" But he never gave up. And through him, we learn of God's unfailing love even when we whore around with other gods. (Quit adjusting your halo. Can you say, "materialism?" "Greed?" "Status and ego?" "Religious righteousness?" And so, so many more. False gods, the whole lot!).

I have friends much like Hosea. Those men and women are heroes to me. They aren't known on earth, but they will be known in heaven.

Andy Stanley is probably a good guy. John Maxwell? Good people, I say. But they've been Americanized in their faith and are now adding to the problem as they add money and followers to their names. Since when is money, status, career or any other cultural accomplishment the biblical standard for success?

Last time I checked, only one thing counted: faithfulness. Through falls, failures, screw-ups and human sin. It's not how many times you fall. It's how many times you get back up and walk with Jesus. It's not what others think of you. It's what God sees in you as you continue on the path by his grace, empowered by his Spirit. Did you catch that? Even the power to continue in faith comes from his Spirit, not your rugged individualism!

How many of us are charting a path to our dreams and ignoring God's call? No one sets out to fail. But not nearly enough of us set out to be faithful. And that...sucks. If I do fail, I want it to be...spectacular!

Quick provisos:
- This isn't an excuse for a mediocre life or a lack of work ethic. There are no excuses for that.
- Moral failure cannot be excused nor diminished in magnitude and certainly not celebrated.
- There's nothing wrong with having success as culturally-defined- as long as that's not the goal nor the Christian standard for measuring success.
- Faith was never meant to be a business. If people spent as much time in the scriptures as they did reading books supposedly based on the scriptures...well, one can only dream such a spectacular dream.
- I Pastor a very small church. I'm good with it. Numbers aren't a goal. But I wouldn't kick increased discipleship and attendance out of the room.
- Yes, naysayer, the church in Acts was a megachurch from the git. But...read Corinthians (either one). And all the other letters. The racism of Acts and the rejection of grace in Galatians. Mega means "big," not necessarily good. Small means "not big," but not necessarily good or faithful. Size, it appears, doesn't matter as much as we thought!

Gratuitus Layman Info...

2009-07-25T21:08:00.001-04:00

Gratuitous info to follow:

The church website is: www.LaymanChurch.com

- Casual Dress (Jeans and T's-even for the pastor)

- Coffee- bring it in with you to the service

- Contemporary Band (yes: drums, guitars, keyboard, etc.)

- Nursery and Children's Church during the worship service

- 11 AM Sundays

- 5207 Old Mountain Road, Roanoke

- Not really denominational these days- just into following Christ

Need more info? Just leave a comment on the blog with an email address or use the form at the church website.

Randomness...

2009-07-21T01:03:00.002-04:00

OK, so I woke up this morning and now it's 1 AM. Where did the day go? Like, a moment ago I was deciding to ride to the gym, run, ride back. Then I realized I'm tired and typing on a blog. Seriously, the day is gone in a heartbeat. And I traded it in for some alone/recharge time and some time with friends.

What I got
- time with God and with podcasts.
- workout
- time with friends
- some Facebook time

What I missed
- time with my wife and son (did Madlibs in the car with them, but that's about it)
- resting on the couch, chillin'
- strategizing and planning for a busy week
- the easy slowness of a day of "downtime"

Every day is an opportunity. To serve. To love. To grow, encourage, trust, believe, become, help others become. To redeem, trade-in something that has no value in and of itself (minutes and hours) for something of great value- changed lives, Christ's glory, encouraged hearts, closer relationships.

Today, I recharged. Tomorrow, I take that into the world. What I do with it will be the indicator of whether or not I redeemed my time wisely today.

I need to counsel, teach, meet with, help my dad, update the church website, make a number of calls and arrange a trip. That's all tomorrow (technically today). I'll get calls where people want to meet last-minute. I don't know if I can. Really, if I should. Maybe it's good to support people and maybe sometimes they need to know they don't need me at all.

I'm a pastor. My goal is to serve according to their needs, not their wants. To serve Jesus by loving people well. To glorify Christ with my life. It's the saying, "no" that's tough for me.

OK, enough randomness. Marriages have been saved recently. Addicts have become sober. Destructive behaviors re-routed into constructive and helpful patterns of behavior. I'm incredibly blessed to do what I do.

Peace!

Don't Experience God...

2009-07-18T10:53:00.001-04:00

From Joe Thorn's blog:

Last night I finally started reading Paul E. Miller’s A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World. After finishing chapter 2 I put the book down and realized that something Miller just said to me was going to change things. Here’s the paragraph.

“…don’t hunt for a feeling in prayer. Deep in our psyches we want an experience with God or an experience in prayer. Once we make that our quest, we lose God. You don’t experience God; you get to know him. You submit to him, you enjoy him. He is, after all, a person.
(pg, 21)

I’m not sure that I hunt for a feeling in prayer, but the thought that I shouldn’t seek to experience God, but experience life with God is the kind of precise exhortation I need. God isn’t a feeling, but a person I was made to know. It’s like with my wife, Jen. I don’t set out to experience her, I seek to know her more fully and experience life with her.

He also likens prayer to a family meal – a beautiful picture I can appreciate. As he unpacks this idea he points out that we often think of prayer solely in terms of the words we are using. We so focus on the conversation that we miss out on the person with whom we are talking. At his family meals (what he considers his family’s “best times”) no one is working on the conversation – it flows out of their love for one another. Miller says,

Oddly enough, many people struggle to learn how to pray because they are focusing on praying, not on God. Making prayer the center is like making conversation the center of a family mealtime. In prayer, focusing on the conversatin is like trying to drive while looking at the windshield instead of through it. It freezes us, making us unsure of where to go.
(pg. 20)

State Constitution Preambles...

2009-07-04T00:13:00.004-04:00

NOTE: No one is forced to worship God in any of these- nor should they be. But...God is mentioned as the basis for liberty and invoked for the continued blessings of these States.

Alabama 1901, Preamble We the people of the State of Alabama, invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution...
Alaska 1956, Preamble We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.
Arizona 1911, Preamble We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution...
Arkansas 1874, Preamble We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government...
California 1879, Preamble We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom...
Colorado 1876, Preamble We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe...
Connecticut 1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy.
Delaware 1897, Preamble through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences...
Florida 1885, Preamble We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution...
Georgia 1777, Preamble We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution...
Hawaii 1959, Preamble We, the people of Hawaii, Grateful for Divine Guidance ... Establish this Constitution.
Idaho 1889, Preamble We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings.
Illinois 1870, Preamble We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil , political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
Indiana 1851, Preamble We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government.
Iowa 1857, Preamble We, the People of the St ate of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings, establish this Constitution.
Kansas 1859, Preamble We, the people of Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establishes this Constitution.
Kentucky 1891, Preamble... We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties...
Louisiana 1921, Preamble We, the people of the State of Louisiana, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy.
Maine 1820, Preamble We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity... And imploring His aid and direction.
Maryland 1776, Preamble We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty...
Massachusetts 1780, Preamble We...the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction
Michigan 1908, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom, establish this Constitution.
Minnesota, 1857, Preamble We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings:
Mississippi 1890, Preamble We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work.
Missouri 1845, Preamble We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness. Establish this Constitution...
Montana 1889, Preamble. We, the people of Montana, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution...
Nebraska 1875, Preamble We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom. Establish this Constitution.
Nevada 1864, Preamble We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, establish this Constitution...
New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience.
New Jersey 1844, Preamble We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
New Mexico 1911, Preamble We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty...
New York 1846, Preamble We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings.
North Carolina 1868, Preamble We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those...
North Dakota 1889, Preamble We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain...
Ohio 1852, Preamble We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common.
Oklahoma 1907, Preamble Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty, establish this Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I Section 2. All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences
Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance....
Rhode Island 1842, Preamble. We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing...
South Carolina, 1778, Preamble We, the people of he State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution.
South Dakota 1889, Preamble We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties ...
Tennessee 1796, Art. XI...III. That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience...
Texas 1845, Preamble We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God.
Utah 1896, Preamble Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution.
Vermont 1777, Preamble Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man ..
Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other
Washington 1889, Preamble We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution
West Virginia 1872, Preamble Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God ...
Wisconsin 1848, Preamble We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility...
Wyoming 1890, Preamble We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution...

Centered...

2009-05-31T17:03:00.002-04:00

Self-centered and self-involved vs. others-centered and God-centered. Self-centeredness leads to credit and excuses. When things go well, the self-centered dude takes the credit. "Well, I planned well and worked hard and..." When they go poorly, it becomes about the excuses. "If I could just catch a break..." "Getting a job there is about who you know...I'm more qualified than everyone else. They just won't let me have the job..."

Others-centered and God-centered means giving God his due when things go well. It means understanding that even our gifts, talents and abilities come from him- though we may hone them and grow in them. It means that failures become opportunities to take responsibility and learn from them instead of excusing them and repeating them over and over.

I just heard about another local pastor trying his best to take someone from a home church to grow his particular church. God, I'm so tired of this crap. I got no respect for that nonsense. NOWHERE in the Bible does it say the ultimate goal is to become entrepreneurial and grow big. The goal is to help people follow Jesus (discipleship) so they can reach others who want to know this amazing Christ we follow. It's an issue of centeredness.

God-centered leaders aren't in competition with anyone. They simply want to serve God and his people. "Sheep-stealing" is an indication that the heart is not right. That something has gone terribly wrong. That cultural values have taken precedence over God's values.

Layman may never become a big church. I'm pretty OK with that. I'm def. not jealous of big churches. I'm a co-worker in the faith, regardless. But I do want us to do all things with integrity and love. If we can do that, trusting God all the while, we're successful. Regardless....

OK, vent-mode }OFF{

Sabbathing...

2009-04-25T11:44:00.002-04:00

My voicemail this week said that I was "sabbathing" with my family. At first glance, it might appear that I'm simply trying to spiritualize my vacation.

After all, I was in Orlando. I mean, c'mon, it's the friggin' capital of tourism and theme parks. And we stayed 5 nights at the Nickolodean hotel in a Jimmy Neutron=themed room.

We enjoyed Universal and Universal's Islands of Adventure. We went to Aquatica and Sea World. We spent time in the arcade at our hotel's mall. We saw 4-D mini movies. And I'm saying I'm "sabbathing?" Crazy, no?

I DID sabbath. It was incredible. I read from life-changing scriptures. I prayed. I read "Edge of Eternity" by Randy Alcorn. (Amazing book!). I asked God to protect my heart and keep me pure as I walked through parks and pools in which women were dressed in provocative ways.

I kept my phone off so as to disallow the busyness of work and the weight of ministry to lay heavy on my time with my family and my God. And...sad to say, it usually does when I'm on vacation. People call. Well-meaning.

But they want me to know about this or that. As if I'm the one who can solve the problem. I know the One who can. But I'm not him. And I trust our leadership to deal with issues. So I turned the phone on once or twice a day to see if anyone just HAD to leave a message- even after hearing that I was sabbathing and unavailable.

A woman at the hotel lost a young child. The hotel was dealing with it, so we took time as a family to pray. My son got upset at my wife, so I took the time to explain the theology of sin against one another and how sin always demands a sacrifice- even sin against one another. And how Christ paid for all our sin, so we can nail to the cross what other people do to us. He forgave and realized he wasn't justified in his anger to begin with.

I was sick all week (and for almost 2 weeks before). It got bad on Wednesday afternoon. The sinus infection caused my left eye area to swell. I was in pain. But God was good. We had a great vacation anyway. And I- without all the distractions of life and full-time ministry-was able to appreciate my God and my family. And grow closer to both.

I don't want any more vacations. I want Sabbaths. I've tasted the good stuff. Sabbaths- time apart from so as to draw near to- rock!

Florida...

2009-04-24T11:43:00.002-04:00

Just got back from Orlando. Had a week of vacation. I've been sick for several weeks now, but it turned into a bad sinus infection on Wednesday. Put me right down in the bed with half my face swollen and hurting. I'll be seeing the doc today!

Learned some things... Like, for instance, when it comes to taxes, it's never enough for the government. I kept rolling up to tolls that said ".50" and then, a little further down said ".75" and then actually become "1.00". I spend 4 bucks just getting from the airport to my hotel! Those guys are nuts- the roads certainly weren't any better than they are around here...

I learned that the desire for money without the guiding force of morality always ruins the endeavor. Universal and Sea World have versions of a "Fast Pass" you can buy for mega-bucks that allows you to skip lines. So...we waited and waited while the privileged few rode coasters and rides over and over again. Once, the ride operator didn't even make them get off the coaster and walk back around, so my wife, my son and I just stood there waiting and waiting to ride.

I learned that vacations are better with a looser schedule. We spend all day Friday and Saturday at the 2 Universal parks. We were spent. My 45-yr-old body doesn't handle that well. Not anymore. We spent all day Sunday at Aquatica (water park). But...towards the end of the week, we got smart. We did half-days at the parks and half-days at the hotel.

And I was reminded that I care much more about the time with family than where it's spent. We had a great time and got jaw-dropping deals on everything we did, but nonetheless, my best times were just being with my wife and son.

Oh- and God was so gracious to me. I read scripture and it was living and real. I asked the Lord for help with "every man's struggle" and found it almost embarrassingly easy to keep my mind pure. I hate living in a society that objectifies women and I hate that my past has been so heavily influenced by it. But I rejoice that God is continually working on me to daily overcome that struggle.

And really, being head-over-heels in love with my wife doesn't hurt...

Peace!

Easter's Aftermath...

2009-04-15T11:18:00.003-04:00

Friday

Six Hours on a Friday Afternoon...blood dripped freely...

Saturday

The tomb...death...despair...disciples disillusioned...was it all just a lie?

Sunday, Pt. 1

Could it be? The women are breathless with astonishment! Peter and John go running. Flat-out sprinting in the cool of the morning, anticipation mixed with trepidation. What if??? What if... What would it mean for now? After all that has transpired. Peter's hands sweat. His stomach is in knots. What would it mean for the rest of their lives?

Sunday, Pt. 2

He IS alive. But Peter...Peter failed. He denied even knowing Jesus. And Christ saw him in that moment of failure. Locked eyes with him. Jesus knows. Jesus is alive, but Peter is a failure and it's over for him. Ashamed, shoulders forward, crestfallen, he lumbers away from the tomb. Time to go back to fishing...

Soon Thereafter..., Pt. 1

He's alive. But not for Peter. There's no joy. The days were a grand dream with a horrible ending. It's time to go back. The smell of the salt air, the familiarity of the task, the rhythmic rocking of the boat. Home. Yet, no longer enough. Who's that on the shore?

Soon Thereafter, Pt. 2

Jesus? On the shore? Could it be? Caution to the wind, protocol forgotten, Peter shed his tunic and dived headfirst into the salty cold. No walking this time. Not even an attempt. Just a headlong burst of unrestrained hope into the icy murky flow.

Part 3

A morning breakfast of fish and bread, a warm fire, awkward small-talk. The elephant is still in the room. Then he just ups and asks- "You love me?" Heart sinks, pulse quickens, eyes averted. Defensive, wishing to hide the shame. "Of course I have affection for you!" "Then start serving me again. Quit hiding. Feed those who are mine." It's a rebuke, but a gentle one. It's...restoration...

Part 4

The warmth of the fire on Peter's face turned to hot shame. Jesus kept asking that question. Finally, the third time, "Do you at least have affection for me?" Exasperated, Peter's voice rose. "Lord, you know all things. You know I have affection for you!" "Then get your eyes off your failure, Peter. Serve me well by serving those who are mine." And with that, it was over. A weight was lifted. Peter was...free...

St...st...st...stutterrr...ing...

2009-03-11T11:00:00.003-04:00

He was totally unqualified for the job. In every way.

He was compromised- he'd grown-up in a royal household as an adopted son, yet betrayed the very people he was supposed to now confront with God's message.
He'd already tried and been rejected by the people he was now being sent to save
He was a murderer and an outlaw
He was supposed to be God's spokesman, but he had a stuttering problem
He was supposed to lead people to freedom, yet he was living in exile, enslaved by his past and keenly aware of his own inadequacies

So, naturally, God picked him to be a prophet, a spokesman, a mouthpiece who would go before Pharaoh, the ruler of the most powerful nation on the earth- Egypt- and give the message that God wanted his people set free from slavery.

Moses demurred. "But I stttt...stt...stt..sttutttter, Lord! I am ssssslow of ssspeech and tttt-tt-ttongue."

It was like he was telling God something God didn't already know. Can't you just imagine God slapping his forehead in amazement and saying, "Thank you so much! I didn't realize you had a speech impediment! Wow, we really dodged a bullet there. I'll go find someone else and you go back to being shepherd."

God answered, instead, "Yo- who do you think made you?? Yeah, I know you have speech problems. That's the point! You're gonna do what you could never do on your own. And through that, you will know me and my power in a way you'd never have known me otherwise. And everyone who hears you will understand- sooner or later- what a great God you serve."

I wish the narrative ended there and we saw God use Moses in all Moses' weaknesses. Because following God always demands faith. It's never comfortable. But, that's kinda the point.

Spiritual comfort is akin to laying on the couch every night eating bags of greasy potato chips and then hoping to live a long life and be healthy and fit. We grow as we trust, pray, exercise faith. As we seek and find.

I talked to a guy yesterday who's a skeptic. I kept smiling because I'M a skeptic! And my skepticism led me away from my new-agey beliefs in "universal consciousness" and so many other things. And the only reason I'm a Christian is that I've questioned every aspect of it. No laziness there- I've checked this thing out. I reject much of the TV preachers. The slain in the Spirit/"gimme money and God will make you rich" garbage. I reject holier-than-thou attitudes. But I follow Jesus hard. With all my heart. Because I've checked him out and he checks out well.

Again, I wish the narrative ended there. But Moses couldn't quite bring himself to trust God. Instead, he argued for his own limitations and they became his. Moses said, "Please, Lord- just send some other sucker."

God answered back, "I sending your brother Aaron to you. He'll help you speak."

And Moses, not fully trusting God, talking himself out of blessing and into trouble. Once the Israelites had left Egypt, Aaron made false gods of gold for the people to worship while Moses was away.

Here are my thoughts:

I refuse to be spiritual lazy while expecting to be spiritually healthy.
I will seek God. I will be skeptical but willing to ask questions and really seek
I won't argue for my limitations, nor will I allow those areas of weakness to keep me from being usable by a God who knows the limitations better that I do
I won't allow my past to control my present. Even when I've had times of messing everything up and I've been a total failure. God is bigger than my past and stronger than my failures
Humility will be my companion as I seek to point the way and allow God to live large through my life
Everyone is broken, flawed, sinful. No exceptions. God is the beginning of the healing. Those who refuse to allow God to do his work in their lives are arguing for their own limitations. I'll love them anyway, but continue to point towards God for healing, hope, life
Finally, I'll praise God for the areas of weakness and limitation. Because they force me to trust him. And that's that point

Watchmen...

2009-03-09T23:18:00.002-04:00

So I decided to see a movie on my only day off. Watchmen. Read a bit about the premise before going. Heard it was violent. Little did I know... I have no problem with guns and fights and shoot'em ups. But this...well, this was just ridiculous. A little girl had been taken and chopped up by a guy who fed her to his dogs. We see the leg being eaten, shoe still on it. Grisly, bone and flesh. Too much.

Overall premise is this: humankind is fatally flawed and bent on self-destruction.

Overall thesis: it is OK to perpetrate great evil in order to prevent an even greater evil and/or bring about a good outcome.

Underlying philosophy: pragmatism. The concept of "the ends justify the means."

Analysis of pragmatism: viscerally appealing, yet rotten at its core.

Hitlerian atrocities arose from pragmatism. Eugenics was a popular concept at the time. The idea was that, in order to move the human race forward, certain "unwanted" and "weak" elements within the race needed to be purged from the gene pool. Thus, blacks, homosexuals, mentally ill, Jews, the poor, the blind, etc, were marked for purging. Lest you cluck your tongue and shake your head in American superiority, please understand that the eugenics movement had adherents such as Woodrow Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt.

Would you sanction the killing of thousands of "inferior" human beings if it meant a greater quality of life for the "superior, pure" human race?

When televangelist and supposed healer Peter Popov was caught using radio communications to supposedly call people's names from the audience and announce their illnesses so he could heal them, he talked about how he was just helping God. And that, in the end, God was glorified. Pragmatism at work.

Moral relativism is the engine of pragmatism. It says that morals are situational and individual. It may not be wrong to steal, depending on the circumstances. Or to kill.

Right now, our country is throwing billions and billions at financial institutions and earmarked pork in order to dig us out of the financial mess that we all got into by overspending to begin with. We're told that it's not something we want to do, but it will bring us the desired outcome. That's like getting a fat man to eat extra food so he can lose weight. Pragmatism often has good goals, but when you compromise the means, you lose the objective.

How many politicians (both parties) have cheated, lied and made deals with the devil so that they could go to Washington and make a real difference, only to find that by they time they got there, they were so corrupted that they could do no great good? Instead, they actually did harm to the country.

Pragmatism put Jesus on a cross. The Jewish religious leaders were worried that Jesus would stir up trouble, make the Romans think that an insurrection was about to occur and cause the Romans to send in the military and massacre the Jews. Thus, "it is better to have one man die for the people than to have the whole nation destroyed." In the end, Israel was destroyed, along with their temple (A.D. 70).

Pragmatism offered by Watchmen is no different (except in scope) from the philosophy of the suicide bombers of radical Islam. It's a lie. A beautifully tragic one. It promises what it can't deliver. Doing what's wrong never leads to an outcome that is right. Not long-term.

Truth...Contentment...Life...

2009-03-06T11:42:00.002-05:00

I was a Rhythm last night (collegiate/20's-30's worship and Word time). We packed the house- standing room only. I lead a group from Rhythm that meets midweek.

Anyway, I was saying "hi" to a guy who also leads a group. He asked how things were going. Me- "good!" Him- "are you happy with where you are at your church?" Me- "I love it!" Him- "Really??" I was a bit dumbfounded. Didn't know what to say. I made some wisecrack about how I get half the take on Sunday mornings and I'm dating 2 of the choir members. In other words, that I'm a televangelist. (Not even close to true...but I didn't know what to say)

I've had time to think about his question. I believe it reveals that very American mindset that defines success as bigger, better, more. And then says anyone with any sense will chase it. Higher up in the workplace, more money, lots of material possessions. In church, bigger buildings, more people, lots of influence in the particular denomination. And I don't chase that particular rabbit.

I understand believing that the Christian faith is worthwhile and that it can change lives for the better. And wanting others to experience it. But- and maybe this is just me- I tend to notice that some of the big, growing churches in the Valley are really doing nothing more than transferring in people from other churches. And that's not success- it's cannibalism. And when it's intentional, it's wrong. We're on the same team.

We are believers together, not in competition. I swear, if one more person tries to convince me to leave Layman (I NEVER introduce myself as a pastor!) and come to that big church in Salem because of all the programs for children, the women's bible studies and the men's groups, I'm gonna finally just plain go ape! I always make it clear that I'm in a church I consider "home." Yet the members at this church, like Stepford Christians, want me to leave the place I believe God specifically led me and come to their church. Without regards for God's desire in it ("God sets each member in the body as he desires"- 1 Corinthians 12).

Anyway, I'm happy. No, I'm content. But more- I'm settled on the idea that I am exactly where I should be. And because of that, I'm overjoyed at the prospect of laboring in the Layman field. I see real Christianity. Authentic, transparent, struggling with addictions and brokenness and flaws and sins. And no one puts on the "Happy Jesus Face" because their in some stupid building that people call a church. They are real. The struggle. They are not perfect. And because they are very aware of their own flaws and failures, they don't put on those "holier-than-thou" attitudes. They don't look down on anyone. Instead, they have the overwhelming feeling that "we're all in this together."

A couple of our mottos are: "No perfect people" and "No one walks alone." We believe that. And if really religious people happen to come to the church, I'm just gonna piss 'em off anyway. No, I don't want to leave. I'm happy. I'm psyched. God has been so good to me in my middle-age. I get to work with the college-aged crowd. And I get to pastor a small church in which faith is real and people honestly care for one another. We feed, clothe, house those in need. We don't give money because we don't have it. But we care for one another. And we sincerely seek to let Jesus change how we live. We are growing deeper in Christ each day. Could I honestly ask for anything more?

God, Sex and D.L. Hughley...

2009-02-27T20:58:00.001-05:00

This is why Driscoll is my pastor...

BToL...

2009-02-04T11:54:00.002-05:00

BToL's are part of how I live my life. They are (based on observation, learning and experience)
Basic Truth's of Life.

For instance, if two partners approach a relationship each looking to get their own needs met, the relationship will suffer and neither will get needs met. If, however, they approach it looking for what they can give, both will have their needs met and the relationship will flourish. Thus, the

BToL: Healthy relationships involve an attitude of giving, not getting.

BToL: Intolerance is a part of human condition. Those who claim tolerance tend to be intolerant of the people they deem intolerant.

BToL: Jesus was not a "good teacher."

And, yet another BToL I experienced yesterday: I can run hills, I can run distance or speed, but not all three.

I wanted to go to Explore Park for an easy 6-er in the remnants of the snow. I got all the way into Vinton and found out the Parkway was closed. WTFrig???

Headed to Carvin's Cove. Didn't want to run pavement at the beginning, so I took 4 Gorges, which is climbing/descending/climbing/desc...well, you get the idea. Lots of half-frozen mucky mud in all the lower areas. Made it tough. I kept running fast and I'm not sure why. Had to stop to catch my breath several times.

Finished 4 Gorges, headed down the hill, now thoroughly warmed from the run. It was breezy and cold, but I was feeling OK. Knees giving me some probs, but I wanted to tough it out. Should have turned towards the parking lot, but my feet directed me to Comet.

Comet was almost un-run-able. Lots of mud, standing water and fat tire tracks cut deep into the soil. I was slip-sliding away. Ran on the sides of the trails quite a bit. Finished it, took the stream (wet feet at 33 or so degrees!) over to Forest and ran the first half of that. Forest was good!

By now, I wasn't hurting as much, but I should have headed back via the Happy Valley road. SHOULD have...

Instead, I ran Songbird back towards the gate. More hills, lots of turns, fairly cambered trail. But...it did become effortless as I sunk into the quasi-hypnotic state of distance running. I slowed pace quite a bit and just enjoyed, listening to Driscoll spout Jesus into my auditory receptors.

Happy Valley quickly to the pavement, then the car. Did 7.6 miles. Not a long run unless you haven't been doing much. Add the speed at the front end and the hills that bookmarked my run and I'm sore today.

Quick shower at the gym, Panera for laptop work and coffee, then dinner with the Wise Men and over to the Barnes and Noble 20/30's group for bible study. All-in-all, good day.

Home for Fringe (recorded) with wife, then bed by 1 AM or so. No sleep, but I'm good for now. Waiting on an addicted guy to call and hang out.

Peace,
Brian

Frailty...

2009-01-28T14:36:00.002-05:00

I didn't want to go out yesterday. Figured it would be icing out and I would stay home and work. But one of our band members went to the hospital with heart problems (he has ongoing heart issues). So I drove out to Lewis-Gale and spent a good hour talking to him.

I went into the hospital via the entrance to the left of the ER, found the appropriate elevator and took it up the floor with the Keurig coffee machine and the variety of coffees/hot chocolates for free. Grabbed a cup of butter toffee coffee and then walked the full length of the winding halls to the opposite end of the hospital to see my friend.

After the visit, I made some calls, did some work and made tracks for the gym. I debated a bit about going. Kinda wanted to go home and work there. I was grumpy for trying Ambien once again. Post-pill haziness and overall groggyness had a pretty good hold on me.

I hit the gym and started my normal superset weight workout. I do opposing muscle groups with no rest in-between. So I do a push/pull working. Bench press followed by lat pulldown, then back to bench press, etc. Then more chest and back supersets. Finally, shoulders (no supersets there!).

I had pulled something in my upper back last week (Saturday) and could still feel the pull, just a bit. I knew I needed to take the biceps curl sitting down- probably at a machine. Instead, I did tricep extensions supersets with bicep curls on a cable with straight bar attached- the greatest stress I could have put on that muscle in my back. I could feel it pulling. But...

I was admiring my arms in the mirror and feeling superhuman. So...I finished my third tricep extension and moved the pin to an even heavier weight for my curls. I felt it immediately- pain in my left upper back muscle.

I finished with a set of curls on the machine and then ran 4 miles, feeling in my back each step for the first mile.

After the run, I felt fine. Then...I got home and it began to hurt more. I debated cancelling B & N Tanglewood small group. But I hate doing that. Went, hurt, left early. Last night, almost no sleep. There were no good positions to sit, stand or lay.

I'm a bit better today- 2 muscle relaxers and double-shots of Aleve have helped.

But, I guess I'm not superhuman. I'm...frail. Subject to injury and pain. Always have been, but didn't acknowledge it until I hit more 40's. James would call yesterday OLS. I wasn't showing off for anyone but me, but OLS does have variants, doesn't it?

And Again...Gratuitus Info...

2009-01-24T11:03:00.000-05:00

Gratuitous info to follow:

The church website is: www.LaymanChurch.com

- Casual Dress (Jeans and T's-even for the pastor)

- Coffee- bring it in with you to the service

- Contemporary Band (yes: drums, guitars, keyboard, etc. Though right now it's mostly Christmas music)

- Nursery and Children's Church during the worship service

- 11 AM Sundays

- 5207 Old Mountain Road, Roanoke

- Not really denominational these days- just into following Christ

Need more info? Just leave a comment on the blog with an email address or use the form at the church website.

The difference...is huge

2009-01-24T10:58:00.000-05:00

"Confidence and arrogance are very different...Arrogance is when your confidence is rooted in yourself"- Driscoll

Circuit City? Brahahahahahahaha!!!

2009-01-23T14:35:00.002-05:00

First, a disclaimer. Sorry for those who worked at the CC. I know you are losing your jobs. I'm sorry. Truly.

But...I have had more bad experiences in CC than good ones over the years. I remember back when CC was at Crossroads Mall. I needed to return something. It was an MP3 player that wouldn't work- DOA out of the package. So I took it back. Waited at the desk for someone to help me. Finally, a little guy came and began to process the return. Then he said, "I'll need my manager's approval." And he stood there. I waited. He just stood there. I said, "Can you go get him." Little guy: "He's on break right now."

"Well," I asked, thinking about customer service and caring about repeat purchases, "Is there someone else you could get to approve the return?"

"Yes." Long pause, still standing there unmoved. "But they aren't here right now."

"When will your manager be back?"

"Soon."

So I waited. And waited. Then...I waited some more. It was a full 20 minutes before he came back. He was paged to the Returns Desk and looked annoyed. Never made eye contact with me. Asked his employee, "Are you sure it's not working?" The employee nodded in the affirmative.

The manager grumbled something about people not knowing how to work MP3 players. I said directly and in a very low voice (because I was more upset than I usually get and didn't want to blow my stack), "I've been waiting 20 minutes for you to approve this return. If you have any questions, I'm right here." He simply looked up, looked back down and continued to process the return. Then he walked off. No apologies, nothing.

Now, I'd like to have crossed CC off my list of places to shop right then and there. But...I like good deals. I like saving money. So when CC has the best deal, that's where I go. My wife's laptop came from CC at the Valley View location. An exchange was needed several days afterwards. We spent 2 hours in the store. 2 hours! In the daytime on a Monday with almost no one else there.

My second-to-last CC buying experience was this: my wife found a great deal on 2 Nintendo DS games for my son for Christmas. I told her before I left, "They'll mess it up. I just know it."

So- I looked for someone to help me find the right games. Took me awhile. Found a guy who worked in games and showed him the ad and asked for the games pictured in the ad. The young guy was helpful and friendly. Once procured, I took them to the front. The register rang up a much higher price. I calmly showed the ad to the woman at the checkout. She couldn't figure it out, so she called...a manager. About 5 minutes later, he was trying to figure it out. Finally, they called a guy from the back. He looked at the ad, looked at my games and told me I had picked up one of the wrong games. Mine was similar but not the same as in the ad.

I told him I was given the games by one the employees. His answer, "Yeah, you should've checked them before bringing them up front." He went to the back, got the correct item and brought it back up. It rang up just fine. Total time at the checkout? Close to 20 minutes.

I'm glad they are going out of business. There, I said it! I don't believe Best Buy will have a monopoly. Not with Walmart, Sears and the internet as competition.

By the way, DON'T, I repeat DON'T go to CC for any deals right now during the so-called liquidation sale- there aren't any. None. Zip. Zero. Nada. Zilch.

http://consumerist.com/tag/circuit-city/

Prices are higher. Think you have a good deal at CC? Write down model number, price, etc- take it to Best Buy. Don't ask for a price match- just look. I bet the price is lower at BB- even on non-sale stuff.

Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-a, good bye!

"Because We're Clueless and Care More About Numbers than about People"

2009-01-22T23:38:00.003-05:00

Visiting with someone today. Told me about her friends who badger her to leave Layman and come join their church. Even tried to emotionally blackmail a friend's daughter to leave Layman. I hate that. I NEVER, repeat NEVER, try to get people to leave their churches for Layman. It's a compromise of integrity, a slap in the face of Jesus, a spitting upon the cross. We aren't in competition, but on the same team. Why do they do it? Like the title says...

A Big "Oooooppppsss!"

2009-01-19T12:32:00.004-05:00

The Seeker Model of Church takes a hit from its own...

Bill Hybels and the leadership of Willow Creek Community Church has admitted that what they have taught millions of pastors, church leaders and converts to “do” is “not producing solid disciples of Jesus Christ“. Hybels confessed, “We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and became Christians, we should have started telling people that they have to take responsibility to become ’self feeders.’ We should have gotten people (and) taught people, how to read their Bible between services (and) how to do spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own.”

Jesus' Commission was to make disciples by "teaching them to observe" what he commanded. Not to shout Jesus at people, to force their views on others, to make a religion out of politics. But to simply...live it. Humbly, authentically, live it real.

Instead, we got churches offering multitudes of programs in exchange for the promise of butts in the seats on Sunday mornings instead of teaching truth in love and being involved in spiritual formation. And the result? Shallow, shopper Christians who sacrifice nothing but demand the best "deal" they can get in church choices. Sad...And wrong...

Past Week...

2009-01-18T23:38:00.002-05:00

Tried Ambien- heart beat fast and I was awake most of the night.

Tried a double shot the next night (10 mg instead of 5 mg)- slept like a log, but was spacey the next day.

Next night, nothing- no sleep. Not a wink. Tough night, not a great day the next day. Even missed an appointment to do premarital counseling. I never miss appts. Felt terrible- I stood them up.

Saw Doc- got X-rays of the knees. I'm feeling some pain- bad at times. But I can still run right now according to him. He suggests 2 days running and the rest doing cross-training. OH- and an anti-inflam. I hate those. Might take it. Not sure yet. Sister had a bleeding gut from NSAIDS.

Church cool- great people, busy day. Met for premarital today to make up for this week. Was too shot from church to do real well, but that's OK. Came home, wrote a paper that was due today. Didn't finish till 9 PM. All-in-all, about a 14 hour day. Tomorrow comes early with a hospital visit.

'Sall good, man. I'm blessed.

Quickly...

2009-01-16T19:44:00.001-05:00

Insomnia last night- no even a wink of sleep till 7:30 AM this morning. And then only 2.5 hours off and on. Just a bit tired right now...

Windows 7 is way cool. It's what Vista should have been. Very fast, sleek, good. I'm beta-testing it and loving the way it works.

'Nuff for now.

Later!