The Mind of Ryan

A Stroll Down Memory Lane

2007-04-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

I attended a real estate education fair in Auburn last Tuesday and decided to hang around afterward and take a stroll down memory lane. Even though Auburn has changed a lot since the late eighties and early nineties when I was a student (ooh...that hurts) I was still able to drive around and see some memory-jogging sites. I actually made it to all of the places where I lived during my tenure at AU including Village Green, Lakewood Commons (B108), Crossland Downs, Ridgewood Village (the trailor where I witnessed a mushroom grow out of the carpet), Court Square (D201), and The Brookes. I also saw the Spectrum where I worked many late hours. It felt so good to see those places and enjoy the memories that are a part of them. Now I know how my dad probably felt when he took us to Auburn games when I was young and would point out places where he had class and lived while he was a student. Those are memories that you hold onto for a lifetime.

Something else I did was attend Devo at the Auburn Christian Student Center that night. It has been a long time since I participated in the weekly devo at the good ole ACSC. It was great to see the Brinkerhoffs and also see some college students from Vaughn Park who are very involved in the student center. Brink had a great lesson (more on that in the next post) and the singing was very enjoyable. However, I realized during devo that I was nearing information overload with these memories when I looked across the room and saw a girl that looked almost exactly like someone I dated in college. I was amazed at the resemblance and questioned whether or not I was losing my mind. After breaking into a cold sweat worrying about finding a date to Spring Banquet, I decided I had spent too much time in Auburn and needed to go home.

At this time twenty years ago, I was recovering from ankle surgery, finishing up my freshman year and deciding to change my major. It really seems like yesterday. Before I know it, I'll be 59 and thinking back 20 years on the day I posted this message on my blog and telling myself...you know, that seems like it was just yesterday. Please excuse me while I go sob uncontrollably.

A Close Call

2007-03-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

As I type the words of this post I continue to wipe the sweat from my brow. I had a real close call today. I came home for lunch which I have not done for months. That really makes no sense seeing how I live only 3 minutes from my office. Anyway, I was in the mood for a peanut butter/mayonnaise/banana sandwich and was going to watch some performances from American Idol again since Tuesday night was the best night of singing so far (Jordin and Blake rule!!). I put the mayonnaise on my bread, cut up the banana and situate the pieces just right, and then I got a big blob of peanut butter on my knife. Right before I spread it on my bread I am somehow reminded of the peanut butter recall. I'm sure it was an angel sent from God to trigger my memory. I look at the jar and see that it's Peter Pan. "Is that the one that was recalled?", I ask myself. I run to the computer and google Peter Pan to find the recall notices and get the number to check on the jar lid. BINGO! The number matches. I run back into the kitchen and quickly wipe the knife clean and throw the jar away.

I admit I have no memory at all. Isn't it neat that something just didn't seem right as I scooped out my peanut butter? If I had proceeded with the making of that beautiful sandwich, the results would definitely not have been beautiful. I can only imagine the colon explosion that could have taken place. I turn into a little baby with just the slightest upset stomach. If I had to experience the sharp stomach pains and rectal eruption from some sorry peanut butter, I'm sure my life would have come to an end.

If you haven't done it yet, check your peanut butter NOW! I must be doing something right to have been spared that harrowing experience. As I'm on my knees tonight, God will hear a strong "thank you" from me.

Facing the Giants

2007-03-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

My small group just finished studying 1-3 John and are now in transition trying to decide what to study next. Last night we decided to order pizza and watch a movie. What kind of bible study is that?...you may ask. Well, the movie was Facing the Giants . I had heard a little about it but didn't know much at all. I was very pleased with what I saw. The acting left a little to be desired but considering the movie was made by a Baptist church in Albany, GA and the actors were volunteers (including ministers and a minister's wife), I had to be impressed. The message was huge and really started my wheels turning in evaluating my life and where I am falling short.

You may find a lot of criticism of this movie because of the acting. Other criticisms include labeling it a "vending machine view of spirituality". Critics complain that the movie makes it seem so simple to put your faith in God and receive answers to all of your problems like bad grades, losing records, car problems, and infertility. The message of the movie is so simple. Put your faith in God and let Him take control. As long as you honor God in everything you do, nothing is impossible. Can it be? You mean if I increase my faith (which I really need to do) and turn everything over to God then I can be more successful at work, play better basketball, get a new car, and get pregnant? Well, I doubt I'll get pregnant...let's change that. I'll be able to impregnate somebody? Well, there's strike two. Being an unmarried man, I really don't need to do that. Ok...let's forget about pregnancy. You mean things in my life will get much better if I let go and let God as the old saying goes? Is faith that important and does it have that much of an effect on my life?

Ok, critics who think that this view of faith is too simple and too convenient...let's look at a few examples in scripture and see what God has told us long before the man who wrote this movie script was a thought in his mother's mind. Look at how individuals' faith was involved in their healing in Matthew 9 with the sick woman who had a bleeding problem and the two blind men. Jesus said they were healed according to their faith. Look at the refusal of Jesus to perform miracles in his hometown in Matthew 13 because of the people's lack of faith. Jesus then identifies the strength of a person's faith in Matthew 17 and 21 by using the same example. He said faith could move a mountain and nothing will be impossible. Faith without doubting can make a fig tree wither and cause a mountain to be thrown into the sea.

Alright, Ryan, you can't take everything that is said in the Bible literally. This is simply a use of hyperbole by Jesus in making a point. Maybe He is exaggerating a little, but that doesn't diminish the statement that nothing is impossible with Him if you have faith. Are we acting like the kicker in the movie and convincing ourselves that we can't make a field goal even before it's kicked. Do we doubt the very things we are praying for? What good is it to pray if you don't believe you will receive?!

Here's my challenge to you. First of all, watch the movie. It's entertaining, inspirational, and educational. Then look at your life like I'm looking at mine. How strong is your faith? Have you tied God's hands behind His back because of your doubt? Let God work in your life. Praise God in the defeats as well as the victories. Honor God and discover that nothing is impossible.

It's Time

2007-03-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

I finally took the time this afternoon to check all of the blogs of my friends and see what has been going on. I was pleased to see that I was still in their lists of bloggers even though my last post was January 1. Therefore, I am proud to announce my reentry into the world of blogging. I'm sure the question "Where have you been?" has been haunting everyone who has been exposed to my blog. Well, my absence was due to several factors.

First, I had a lot going on in January and February. I started teaching a course at Faulkner University that I have taught before but they had just changed textbooks. Therefore, I had to read the entire text and redesign my course. That took a lot of time. I am also leading a small group on Sunday nights and had to prepare for that lesson each week. February was the busiest month I have ever had at work. It was good to be busy because time goes by quickly (even though I am now getting to the age where I would like for life to slow down a little bit). Another reason for not posting is a lot of things that have been occupying my mind recently are things I would rather not advertise to millions of people who may stumble across my blog site. There are some things that just need to be kept to myself.

However, I am now ready to emerge from my 2 1/2 month absence and once again share certain events and experiences in my life. Some of these may be humorous, some may be thought-provoking, and others may be just downright boring. However, I encourage all of my former readers to return and experience the Mind of Ryan.

Merry Sickness

2007-01-01T08:07:00.000-08:00

I normally wouldn't share with everyone what I got for Christmas, but 2006 was an unusual one. Here are my Christmas gifts in the correct order of reception.

1. A sore throat
2. A head ache
3. A loss of strength in my body
4. A swimmy head
5. Body aches
6. Body chills
7. Cold sores on my lips and in my mouth that made talking and eating very painful

Even though a few of my Christmas gifts were short lived, others decided to hold on for a while making my 2006 Christmas a very memorable one. I don't know what naughty thing I did last year to receive this proverbial "coal in my stocking" from Satan...I mean Santa, but I really would like to find out so I never do it again.

Here's to a wonderful and successful 2007 including a Christmas that more than makes up for this last one.

Procrastination

2006-12-19T18:23:00.000-08:00

What has prompted me to write about procrastination? It seems to be running rampant in my life right now. As I began thinking of things that I have started and never finished or never started at all, the list continued to grow. Let me share why I think I have become a procrastaholic.

1. My last post was dated September 12. That's over 3 months, people!

2. I created a MySpace account and have not done anything with it for several months. I'm in the process of cancelling it but, for some reason, I haven't finished yet.

3. I started swimming at the YMCA during the summer on a very consistent basis. I have not touched that pool water in months. I continue to take my bag with swimsuit, goggles, and towel to work intending to swim afterward, but I never get wet (today being a great example). I'll probably have to get an employee to give me directions to the pool once I decide to return.

4. A friend of mine has been going through a lot lately and I bought a card to send to her several weeks ago. Has it been sent yet? I think you know the answer.

5. My debit and credit cards were stolen back in late August. A sales rep named Hannah at Compass Bank was incredibly helpful and I had every intention of writing a letter to the branch manager to let him know how she went out of her way to assist me. So far...no letter.

6. I have had the same half finished drawing on my drawing table for many months. I would love to finish it, put it in the pictureless frame that is currently hanging on the wall, and begin a new drawing.

7. I began building a model of my house out of balsa wood probably over a year ago. It still sits unfinished.

Believe me, the list continues but I don't want to bore you. Am I alone in this condition? Why can't I complete these tasks? I have had a lot going on since September, but that's no excuse...especially for the things I started long before September.

New year's resolution #1: Finish things! I may have to go into seclusion and deny myself the light of day until I can close the book on some of these activities, but it will be done. You can count on it.

An Interesting Worship Experience

2006-09-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

I visited a former college roommate in Atlanta this past weekend and worshiped with his family Sunday morning. He had warned me prior to my arrival about what I should expect. I actually received several warnings of preparation and began to wonder if I would see snake handling or have both hairs on my head blown by a mighty rushing wind as everyone began speaking in tongues. My friends previously worshiped at the North Atlanta Church of Christ and then participated in a church planting conducted by North Atlanta. They stayed with that new congregation for little while and then made the move to the North Point Community Church in Alpharetta. Andy Stanley (Charles Stanley's son) is the minister and had a great message that morning to accomany two baptisms (husband and wife). The worship leader was an acoustical guitarist leading a full band in playing worship songs. I had never heard the first two songs, but they had great messages of musical praise. The third song was an oldie that they put to music but, because of senility setting in at the age of 38, I'm not able to tell you the name of it. Anyway, it was a very interesting experience. Communion takes place in small groups on Sunday night where it is a more personal and sharing experience.

I talked to my friend about his decision to worship there because I know some of the teachings there are not what he was raised to believe. There are a few things where he says he has to agree to disagree. Overall, he is very happy with the direction of that church. They currently have three services on Sunday morning and will be planting another congregation very soon so people can move to the new location and make room to grow. They already have two auditoriums where people worship simultaneously. Two separate worship bands play but Andy Stanley preaches in person in the East Auditorium and is broadcast on screens in the West Auditorium. When the next location is planted and established, Stanley will be broadcast there as well.

I enjoyed the time with my friends and being able to worship with them and see how excited they are about North Point. It was a good experience for me to be exposed to something different. I look forward to another different worship experience in the near future when I attend a conference in San Antonio. I plan on worshiping at the Oak Hills Church where Max Lucado preaches. I think that will be just as interesting as this past weekend and will once again open my eyes to various worship styles. I'll give you a report at the end of the month.

Creative Lawncare

2006-08-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

I want to take a poll. How many of you actually pay someone to cut your grass using those 2 ton dune buggies with the blades attached to the bottom? Can I see a raise of hands? Now don't get me wrong. I have friends who make a living through lawn care and use those impressive grass-cutting beasts. However, the one time I allowed one of those machines on my property resulted in deep tire tracks, bald spots in the grass, and a general mess of my yard. The grass had been cut but the beauty of the yard had been destroyed. I have sworn never to let that happen again...even if it means using my push mower with one arm in a sling and hobbling on a crutch as I push it with my waist. I still think the yard would look better.

I am one of those lucky boys who cut grass for money even before I could drive. I hated to cut grass and would not have made near as much money as I did if my mom had not threatened me on many occasions to go mow a yard or else. There was one sweet lady from church who was very particular about how her grass was cut. Ms. Snell wanted me to use the grass catcher (extra work) and also cut the grass differently at times. She didn't want me to cut it the same way every time resulting in permanent tire tracks in her grass. Obviously, I did not enjoy cutting Ms. Snell's grass becaue of how particular she was and the little bit of money that I made.

Let's fast forward to today. I just cut my grass yesterday (for free) and thought about this post as I was pushing my mower. Mowing your yard can be good thinkin' time. I know a lot of guys consider time on the porcelain throne to be good for accomplishing some good thinkin', but I choose not to dwell there any longer than what's required. Ms. Snell popped into my mind as I cut my grass because of what I was doing. I cut my front yard diagonally and then framed it so the places where I turned the mower would not be so noticeable. I also cut the grass in the backyard in the opposite direction than I usually cut it in order to...guess why...prevent permanent marks in the grass from mowing the same way every time. I understand that I'm an anal-retentive individual and have to have things a certain way. My clothes in my closet are sorted and hung the same way, my shoes are placed in the same spot when taken off, my CDs are in alphabetical order as are my DVDs, my four remotes are always put back on the coffee table in the same place, etc, etc. But I think I have finally gone too far. The curse of Ms. Snell has taken full effect. Just drive by and take a look at my yard. It's impressive and sad at the same time. I'm proud of it and a little scared simultaneously. I'm not even halfway through my lifetime (hopefully) and I'm afraid this condition will worsen with age. Who knows...maybe I'll find an "Anal-Retentives Anonymous" group and be cured. Only time will tell.

A Trip Down Memory Lane, Part 2

2006-08-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, my 20 year high school reunion has come and gone. It's been so long since I have posted, it seems like my 30 year is right around the corner. The reunion went a lot better than I expected. There were a lot of people I had not seen since the 10 year reunion and others I had not seen since graduation. I desperately studied my yearbook in preparation for the event knowing that I would forget the names of many people. Friday night was a little social where everyone just stood around and talked. It was a good way to get my feet wet before the "big event" Saturday night. It was the typical reunion where you see many women who have lost weight since graduation, many who have gained weight since graduation, and all of them with different hairstyles (thank goodness since we graduated in the mid 80's). The guys pretty much fell in the same categories. Weight had been lost by some, gained by others, and the hairstyles ranged anywhere from more hair than in high school (Jimmy Deas), hair barely hanging on with bald spots trying to take over (yours truly), to no hair at all (Nover Bailey and Ernie Ferry).

Saturday night started slowly and I noticed the old high school cliques beginning to form. That was my cue to call it a night until I saw the dance floor open up. I have never been a dancer and many people will say that I'm still not a dancer. However, this was my high school reunion and I was going to enjoy it. Therefore, I stepped onto the dance floor with my friends and commenced to looking like an idiot attempting to dance. Of course, I don't think I looked any more foolish than the other 18 year old wanna-be's throwing their 38 year old bodies around trying to keep beat with the music that made me even more deaf than I already was. After letting all of my inhibitions go for a couple of hours, losing probably several pounds from sweating, and having a song dedicated to me because of the impressive way that I danced, it was time to head home. I said my goodbyes shaking hands with the guys and hugging the girls and hit the road.

Looking back on this reunion, it's so interesting how people who were too good for you back in high school all of a sudden treat you like a long lost friend. It was also interesting to see how some still consider themselves better than others. All in all, it was a good couple of nights. I had twice as much fun at my 20 year than I did at the 10 year. Maybe that means I'll have three times as much fun at my 30 year reunion in 2016. Whew...2016? Not only is that 30 years out of high school, it's also 12 years before I can retire. Now that's scary.

Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

2006-07-18T18:52:00.000-07:00

I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself. But I owe that feeling to some friends of mine. Gone are the days (or nights) when Ryan Adair does nothing but sit in front of the TV and desperately try to find something worth watching...many times not finding anything worth watching but watching it anyway. My friend Leigh was the first to nudge me in this direction. She watches very little TV and has one in a back room of her house only when she gets the fever to rent a movie. Talking with my friend Joe while we were in Las Vegas , he told me they no longer own a TV. Most recently, while talking to my new friend Heidi, she told me she watches very little TV because it's a waste of time. She will watch The Today Show and the news and I think that's all. I started thinking more and more about this and decided they make a good point. TV is a huge waste of time.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not about to toss my TVs (yes...that's plural) out the window and never watch anything again. Have mercy, I couldn't survive without my nightly routine of watching Seinfeld at 10 PM and the beginning of The Tonight Show before drifting off to sleep. Also, football season is just around the corner and I will have to cheer my Auburn Tigers and Pittsburgh Steelers to victory while watching their televised games. There are also a couple of sitcoms I enjoy watching as well as Survivor and American Idol . With that said, I can brag about severely reducing the amount of time I spend watching TV.

No longer do I come home for lunch just in time to watch Days of Our Lives at 12:30 on days I don't play basketball. On my trip back from Camp Wiregrass (see previous post) with Emily, Loren, and Leigh, a discussion of Romans was started and I realized I didn't know enough about the book to actively engage in the conversation. I was pretty embarrassed but enjoyed their discussion. Therefore, I am now studying my bible at lunch instead of watching a soap opera. Sounds like an easy choice, huh? Well, it can be pretty hard when you have watched this particular soap opera most of your life and allow it to be able to pull your strings just enough to keep you watching to see what will happen next. That's why I'm so proud of myself.

Thanks Joe, Leigh, Heidi, Loren, and Emily. This just proves that if you hang around with the right kind of people, your life can be positively influenced. Now maybe I can do the same for somebody else.

A Trip Down Memory Lane, Part 1

2006-07-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

I know, it's been a while since I have posted. All of my time has been spent trying to catch up on all of Supa Supreme's posts on her blog site. Now I'm ready to begin posting again.

I took an interesting trip last Sunday. I received a call from my friend Emily Sunday afternoon asking if I wanted to ride down to the booming metropolis of Enterprise, AL with her and a couple of others to visit Camp Wiregrass . Her brother was serving as the director that week and her sister, Ginger, was the nurse. I was in a funky mood that day and knew that a trip with Emily, Leigh, and Loren would definitely cheer me up. So I climbed into the van with them and headed down south.

I had not stepped foot on the grass of Camp Wiregrass for 23 years. I spent several weeks during my youthful summers at Wiregrass and the memories began to flood as I returned. The singing was kind of dry that evening at chapel and the kids didn't seem to really be into the time of worship. However, I realized that I was the exact same way when I was their age sitting on those benches. To be honest, my main reasons for going to camp were to make new friends and meet some pretty girls as opposed to growing closer to God. I now realize that the counselors had more of the spiritual purpose in mind and that's why they were there to lead and counsel. I remember having counselors such as Ross Mitchell, Matt Elliott , and Joy (McFarlin) Boreland when I was a camper. It's so weird seeing who they are now and realizing they were not that much older than I was at that time...but I sure did look up to them (not that I don't look up to them now).

Sitting in chapel that Sunday night, I saw the exact spot on the side wall where I passed out on skit night. It was the last night of camp and I was the star of our skit (at least in my own eyes). My parents were there and I was ready to put on a show. I was feeling a little sick right before I went on stage, even to the point of having to squat down and hold my stomach in a hot sweat. I completely forgot about it during the skit. We pulled it off without a hitch and received deafening laughter at the end. I went around and sat on the wall to watch the other skits and began to feel a little dizzy. The next thing I know, I'm lying on the ground and hear people calling my name but I can't see anyone. I very slowly regain my vision and they rush me to the hospital in Enterprise. Evidently, I had hit my head pretty hard b/c my pupils were dilated. The doctor recommended I be transported to Montgomery. I never had a chance to go back to camp to say my goodbyes. And this was the one year when I went to the banquet with the girl that I had my eyes on the entire week. Jamie Thomas was awesome and I didn't even get a chance to hug her, much less steal a sweet kiss to end the week. Anyway, that's life.

We left between 8:30 and 9:00 and headed home. It was a nice trip down memory lane. It was also an enjoyable time with some good friends. I feel blessed to have gone on this trip. Thanks for the "invite", Emily. Another trip down memory lane will take place next weekend at my 20 year high school reunion. Wow...I'm starting to get depressed so I'll sign off. I'll let you know how the reunion goes.

Back Home for a While

2006-06-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

This has been a crazy month for me. I feel like I've been on the road more than I've been at home...even though I know that's not true. I was in Vegas the 9th through the 14th, Gulf Shores the 22nd and 23rd, and Destin the 25th through the 27th. Now I know what you're saying to yourself. First, you're saying "Ryan, that's only 11 days out of the month." I know, but it seems like a lot more when you have to prepare to leave on these trips and then try to catch up after returning. You're also saying "Give me a break...Las Vegas, Gulf Shores, and Destin?! It must be rough." Well, when all of these were business trips and there was little time to actually enjoy the locations (maybe with the exception of Las Vegas), the trips don't seem so "vacationy". For example, I never saw the beach when I was in Gulf Shores. I was at a beautiful resort in Destin, FL but had little time to enjoy it. However, if you ever get rich and would like to spend some time at a very nice location, try Baytowne Wharf in Destin. Impressive place. But now I am back home and glad to be here for a while. I will now spend the next couple of days trying to catch up on things and get back to my norm. I didn't have my camera in Destin but I promise I will share a few pictures of my Vegas trip very soon. I'm just too tired to do it tonight.

Top 8 Observations From My Trip to Las Vegas

2006-06-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

I chose 8 observations because this will already be a long post and the Top 10 would have made it longer. It was a very interesting trip and this post will explain why. These are my top 8 observations in no particular order:

1. Minimum Hip Width for Flight Attendants

Ok...an airplane is cramped as it is. The seats are too small, the overhead compartments are too small, if you put your carry-on under the seat in front of you it takes away leg room, etc., etc. For these reasons I have made a decision to reserve aisle seats to possibly allow me to stretch my legs at times and lean toward the aisle to avoid personal contact with whoever is sitting next to me. My well-thought-out plan is destroyed when airlines employ flight attendants with a hip width that doesn't allow them to walk down the aisle. I can't count the number of times my shoulder was pummeled by an "out of control" hip. My right shoulder was bruised on the trip from Atlanta to Vegas. A new rule for airlines: no flight attendants with hips that exceed 18" in width. This is necessary for passenger safety.

2. Airplane Movie Privacy

This was the first trip where I saw the screens on the back of seats that allow you to watch TV, a movie, or play trivia. I chose not to watch a movie because of the requirement to swipe your card and pay a fee that I'm sure was much too high. Anyway, a nice lady sitting on the aisle seat one row in front of me on the opposite side decided to watch a movie and chose "Failure to Launch". This is the movie that is infamous for the scene of Terry Bradshaw in the nude. Please feel free to pause here to settle your upset stomach and clear your mind of the very disturbing image I just created). I had a very clear view of her screen and could see what was showing although I couldn't hear. You might know that as I was reading my book, I looked up just in time to see Bradshaw turn and walk away from the camera revealing his bare tush. Great timing, Ryan! I've never had a problem with airsickness but I think I came as close as I ever have to using the barf bag. Being the Pittsburgh Steeler fan that I am and have been since the late '70s, I have always love Bradshaw. However, I seem to have lost a lot of respect and admiration for the man after being exposed to his "crease". A word of warning if you decide to see that movie.

3. Bush Urination

Is this legal in Nevada or did I just see several immature guys on the Strip? I'm leaning toward the latter. The first time I emerged from my hotel to experience the sights and sounds of Vegas, I walked by a guy who had quickly stepped to the side of the entrance to the hotel and began to wizz in the shrubbery as cars drove by. I witnessed someone else do the same thing on another night farther down the Strip. Of course, now that I think about it, everything else is legal in Vegas so why not public urination?

4. Women Available 24 Hours

I was reminded of this every time I wandered outside the hotel. I saw it on the sides of trucks driving the streets for the sole purpose of advertising. It would have a picture of a beautiful woman (scantily clad, of course), a phone number, and wording telling us that she is available 24 hours a day. There were men (and women) along the sidewalks of the Strip desperately trying to give a little magazine or card to every male who walked by. These also contained half-naked women and phone numbers. Some of the peddlers were even wearing bright red t-shirts advertising women available 24 hours a day. What a great career.
"So what does your son do, Mr. Jones?"
"Oh, he tries to lure men walking the streets of Vegas into a one-night stand that could lead to the destruction of their families!"
"I'm sure you wish he was more successful."
"Well, what does your daughter do?"
"Oh, she publicly displays her body on the sides of trucks advertising her availability. Yes, we're so proud of her."

5. Airline Gas

No, I'm not referring to the volatile mixture of flammable liquid hydrocarbons derived chiefly from crude petrol. This gas is more lethal, especially when it's coming from the man buckled in the seat next to you. Now I have to admit, there were times after a Vegas buffet when I would release amidst a crowd of people. But everyone was moving and could quickly flee the general area. However, there is NO excuse for staying in your airplane seat between two other people when a perfectly good restroom is available on the plane. I try to avoid public restrooms whenever possible, but I would never subject two nice people to that kind of punishment when I could easily get rid of the source.

6. Slow Walking + Bad Spacing

I still don't understand it. I'm walking along the Strip trying desperately to get from point A to point B and everybody thinks that it's their duty to prevent me from doing that in a timely manner. Vegas is SO crowded. It got to the point where I began developing a dislike for people just because they were in front of me. And here's what makes it worse. I would see two people who obviously were together. There's a man and a woman who are either boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. Yet they insist on walking with space in between them. So not only are they walking much too slowly, they are also spaced just far enough apart that I can't walk between them. They are taking up way too much of the sidwalk and making it difficult for me to pass them with oncoming traffic. It reminded me of driving on Highway 82 between Prattville and Tuscaloosa when you get behind someone refusing to drive the speed limit, so you need to pass them. Yet it's difficult to do so because they leave just enough space between them and the car in front of them so that you are forced to pass both cars at the same time. And you never know when a log truck is going to come barreling around one of those curves and take you out. I know that's a weird thought to have on the streets of Vegas but you have to admit, it's a perfect parallel.

7. A Lack of Dress

This was everywhere. I guess all females who go to Vegas think any kind of modest dress code can be thrown out the window. I saw girls in some of the smallest and tightest outfits. I think they even had the showgirls beat. And here's the kicker. Some even seemed concerned that something might show. For example, I was walking behind a girl in a VERY short skirt who was part of a slow walking/bad spacing group (and she really didn't belong in that skirt to begin with). Every 3 or 4 steps she would reach behind her and pull the bottom of her skirt to make sure no undies were showing. Ok, explain this to me. If you are so concerned about your underwear showing, why wear such a short skirt to begin with? It makes no sense! There were obviously girls who didn't care what you saw and walked proudly. But for those who were hanging on to at least a little bit of decency, why flirt with a revealing skirt to begin with. Ease your mind and wear something that actually comes down below your butt cheeks.

8. Amazing Grace on the Strip

Last, but certainly not least, is the most ironic experience I had in Vegas. I was walking up the Strip past signs and advertisements with half naked women all over them, people were losing their life savings inside every casino, others were getting drunk out of their minds and not sure what else was going to happen that night, and who knows what else was taking place behind closed doors. As I made my way up the sidewalk, I heard some music playing. As I got closer I recognized the tune. It was actually "Amazing Grace" blaring on the Strip of Las Vegas late at night! Is this a ploy to make everyone feel better about all of the improprieties they were involved in while in Sin City? Do whatever you want to because God doesn't care...His grace will cover you. Let's see...what was it Paul said in Romans 6? Oh yeah, that's right! "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?" And what was his response to this rhetorical question? Oh yeah, that's right! "Certainly not!" Maybe they should have been playing the Bible on tape so everyone could hear the words of Paul. Would it have made a difference? For some reason I think not.

A Choice of Mission Fields

2006-06-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I leave for Las Vegas in the morning and a group of people that I would usually be with leaves for Mexico in the morning. I'm missing my annual mission trip to Mexico because of a conference in Las Vegas. I have to admit that I'm pretty excited about Vegas even though I'm sacrificing Mexico in order to go. My dad was supposed to take me with him when I was a senior in high school and I got seriously sick the morning we were supposed to leave. I was determined to go so I still made the trip to the Birmingham airport but, as soon as I stepped out of the car, I painted the sidewalk. It was disgusting. Mom had to drive to Bham to take me back home. I was cheated out of a trip to Vegas! But my time has now come. Nothing will prevent me from stepping foot on the strip. If I have to fly the entire trip with my face in a barf bag, I'm gonna do it.

I still hate to be missing Mexico. I always feel so good when I come back after helping so many people. However, Vegas can be a mission field as well. The challenge will be finding a way to minister amid the slot machines and girlie shows. They say actions speak louder than words so maybe that's how I can do it. I'll let you know. They also say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but if something good enough happens, I'll be sure to share it with you.

5 Simple Rules to be Happy

2006-06-05T19:28:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine shared these 5 simple rules with me a while back and I have kept them on my desk at home ever since so I can see them every time I sit at my computer. I identified these on my MySpace site but would like to go into more detail here. Maybe some of you who read this will have some advice in the areas where I'm struggling.

1. Free your heart from hatred

This sounds like an easy thing to do, doesn't it? I mean, c'mon, we're Christians! We don't hate anybody! Well, I can honestly say that I don't hate anyone. However, I do have a very strong dislike toward some people because of things that have happened in the past. I have forgiven them, but I have trouble forgetting. That "forgive and forget" crap just doesn't work. Bad memories are brought up too easily. It's very hard not to be taken back to the incident(s) that started the feelings of ill will to begin with when you hear the person's name or see some kind of reminder. It's especially hard when you actually come in contact with one of these people and have to struggle through that very awkward feeling...especially when they talk to you like you are best friends who have not seen each other in ages. I can think of three individuals who fall into this category and I continue to struggle with my feelings. I know that God forgives me when I hurt Him and forgets as a result of His grace that wipes my slate clean until I trip again, which sometimes is on the next step. I continue to pray about my feelings in an effort to reach the point of one day being able to let these feelings go forever.

2. Free your mind from worries

Are you kidding? Don't worry about anything? You have to post a comment if you are able to live with no worries at all. I want to hear from you. Believe me, I'm very familiar with Matthew 6:25-34. I have read it many times but have not been able to eliminate worry from my life. I know that part of it is my "anal" personality wanting everything I do to be perfect and realizing that it won't be. Therefore, I worry about what will go wrong and how bad it will be. Another contributing factor is my lack of patience. I'm not the kind of person who has to have everything right now, but I am the kind of person who doesn't like to wait forever to get it. I know that God is in control and He knows what my concerns, strengths, weaknesses, and fears are. I should be able to rest comfortably with the assurance that He will take care of me. So why can't I?

3. Live simply

I don't have a problem with this one. I'm a fairly simple person. I don't like to have too much going on at once. I want to have a few things that I can concentrate on and make sure they are done correctly. If I get involved in too many things at once, I begin to freak out and panic. Unlike other members of my family, you will not see me volunteering for multiple committees, task forces, clubs, groups, etc. I'm happy with the simple life. That is, MY simple life...not The Simple Life .

4. Give more

Believe it or not, giving does feel good. I am in a position in life right now that allows me to give freely and I am enjoying doing that. There are so many people and worthy causes that need financial help and it feels good to be able to provide that assistance. I read an article about the death of Bill Daniels who is known in business circles as the father of cable television. His firm is credited with developing more than 50 of the biggest cable companies in the U.S. The article contrasts his "good boy" image with his life of multiple marriages, alcohol abuse, and rampant profanity. Even though he was viewed as a very demanding employer, he countered that with kind acts such as leaving unmarked envelopes full of cash at the doors of employees who were having financial problems and driving off (his stepdaughter called it "drive-by giving"), giving airline tickets to employees to visit sick family members, giving rent money during hard times, and even going so far as to pay for plastic surgery for a receptionist who was very self-conscious because of an eye disorder. Bill Daniels had the money to do whatever he wanted...and he chose to share it with others.

5. Expect less

If we actually give more to other people and expect less (or nothing) in return, we can enjoy true happiness. If we don't expect anything from anyone, how can we be disappointed if nothing is received? I agree that can be difficult at times. It only seems fair that if we give to someone else, they should do something in return for us...right? That is part of our nature that we need to shake and direct our time and attention to making others happy.

A New Record!

2006-05-31T16:24:00.000-07:00

12 laps today at the Y! That's 24 "ryan laps" and 1/3 of a mile! And nothing floating on the surface that actually belongs in the human body. What a great day at the pool!

A Wonderful Day at the Pool

2006-05-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in a previous post, I am now swimming at the YMCA three days a week after work. I claimed to have swam 12 laps in the post and, in a way, I did. However, those are "ryan laps". A "ryan lap" is from one end of the pool to the other as opposed to the technical lap consisting of swimming to the opposite end and back. So technically, I only swam 6 laps...but 12 makes me feel better so I have designated them "ryan laps".

That little 7 year old joker who swam from Alcatraz to San Francisco has inspired me. If he can accomplish that, I can swim laps three times a week and I'm dedicated to doing it. However, there are some things that can get in the way of my dedication and one of those things happened today. I had gotten into the pool and completed 2 laps (4 ryan laps) and stopped to rest. The gentleman in the lane next to mine was resting at the same time so I struck up a conversation. I'm trying to talk to more strange people nowadays to prove to myself that I can do it. You see, I consider myself "socially challenged". I'm not the greatest conversationalist and usually keep to myself for the most part. Well, now I'm trying to break out of my cone of silence and talk to more people so I started talking to my new friend in the next lane. I then swam one more lap to make it a total of 3. In the process of swimming that lap, I heard a lifeguard blow his whistle. I knew I had done nothing wrong so I ignored it and continued swimming. By the time I completed that lap the lifeguard was waiting on me and told me that a kid threw up in the pool and an evacuation had been declared. They needed to take care of the problem with chemicals. When he told me that chunks had been blown in the pool where I was swimming, I almost "ralphed" myself. My day of swimming was cut short.

I went to the locker room to gather my stuff and began talking to somebody else. He had heard of the incident himself and was hoping the pool would reopen in the next 40 minutes because he had a swim class. I told him I probably couldn't get back in the pool knowing what had just happened. He said he didn't care because when he was a member of another sports club, he had actually seen excrement floating in the water and would just pick it up and put it in the skimmer. I almost threw up again when he said that! I immediately thought of the classic scene from Caddyshack when Bill Murray (a.k.a. Carl Spackler) drained the pool and found the Baby Ruth that had been mistaken for something else, sniffed it, and took a bite. I would not put that past this man I was talking to. What kind of a person is this?! Who willingly touches someone else's poo? I have to admit that I am emotionally scarred from today's events. Hopefully, I can recover in time to continue my swimming tomorrow. Needless to say, I will scan that pool like a hawk for any foreign objects that might be afloat. Oh the joy of a public pool.

The Results Are In!

2006-05-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

A week and a half ago, I published a post regarding another setup that had been arranged for me. I was supposed to meet her at a birthday party but she never showed up. It turns out she was sick that day. I finally ended up getting her number and calling her to ask her to have lunch. Well, that took place last Friday and the results are in. This is almost as exciting as seeing who will be voted off of American Idol . Or maybe if you're interested in The Bachelor , you may be wondering if she received a rose. Sorry...no rose was given. No fireworks, sparks, or clickage took place. Now she wasn't ugly and I'm sure there are many guys who would love to go out with her. However, I don't fall into that category.

Once again, a setup that involves me has fallen through. Maybe that's what I get for advertising it in a public forum. It seems like I can find something wrong with anybody these days and I have a short list involving my lunch date. When I first mentioned this possibility to a friend of mine, she immediately said, "Now Ryan, she's not gonna be perfect." I understand that and I'm not looking for Ms. Perfect. However, I am looking for someone who has that certain "something" that results in the previously mentioned clickage. The search continues. However, I will not be advertising any other possibilities until something actually works. So sit back and enjoy the suspense. The next time you read a post about a female in my life, it will probably be when I'm buying the ring.

No More Mr. Niceguy

2006-05-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

Ok...I'm through giving away money! No more Mr. Niceguy for me. I have very graciously been contributing money to the YMCA for the past several months. I joined early in the year and made two trips to use the pool. These were early morning trips and it was so crowded! I actually had to share a swim lane with someone! As if it's not disturbing enough thinking about the various bodily fluids that are released in a public pool, I was also having to share a lane and be a lot closer to a complete stranger than comfort would allow. I am now beginning to go after work and it is much less crowded...especially since most of the swimmers are outside now.

Today's swim consisted of a valiant effort on my part. I ended my exercise having completed 12 laps (with many stops at each end of the pool). What a sad display of swimming! Needless to say, I am far from being my childhood Superfriend hero Aquaman. What made matters worse was the lady swimming in the lane next to me. She didn't stop for a single moment of rest until she was ready to go! And then when I saw her climb out of the pool, I noticed that she was much older than I thought. I asked how long she had been swimming and she said 10 years. Maybe in 10 years I'll be able to swim non-stop and hardly break a sweat. I was having trouble forming words when talking to her because my heart was beating so quickly after only 8 laps. What a sad display of swimming! Anyway, I must say that I'm proud of myself for making the decision to begin again. My money is not being wasted and I'm actually getting some good exercise after work. If I can keep this up, I'll be working out Mondays and Fridays and swimming Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. This old body will be whipped into shape eventually.

By the way, for those of you who are wondering what happened with the setup described in the previous post, it didn't happen. She had a virus and we never met. However, I have contacted her by phone and a lunch has been planned. Updates will come.

Another Setup

2006-05-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

I can't count the number of times I've heard the statement "Y'all would be great together. Why haven't I thought of this sooner?!" Well, here we go again. One of my chiropractors (that sounds sad) and my masseuse both thought of me the other day when discussing a friend of theirs. "Ryan would be great for her!" So I spoke with chiropractor/masseuse Keely when setting up a massage with foo-foo masseuse Teresa (it's a rough life) and the presentation was made. I informed Keely that I am strictly opposed to blind dates because they have been SO unfruitful in the past. Even though it might seem shallow, I had to at least see a picture before any action was taken. Keely then invited me to her daughter's 2nd birthday party so I could see this incredible person up close. While talking to both Keely and Teresa this past Tuesday after an incredible 90 minute foo-foo massage, they were both excited about the opportunity. Here is the description of my soon-to-be new friend:

31 years old (not too old or too young)
Never married (red flag or not?)
5'-4" - 5'-5" (not too tall or too short)
115 - 120 pounds (sounds like a good weight for her height)
Master's degree in Psychology (pretty AND smart)
In good shape (in the words of Keely, "I know...I've massaged her...she's firm!")
Fair skin (there go the beach trips)
Shoulder length blonde hair (nice)
Blue eyes (even nicer)
Looking for a good Christian man (Present!)
Soft spoken (hopefully still a good conversationalist)
Motherly (don't worry, Mom...she can't replace you)
Good cook (yeah...but can she cook Spam correctly?)
Country girl ("Yee-haw!")

Saturday has been declared the "Day of Meeting". I feel like my life is turning into a soap opera. I grew up watching "Days of Our Lives" (and still do occasionally) and you may remember "Ryan's Hope" as well. I think I'll combine the two. Stay tuned to the new hit "Ryan's Hope That Something Exciting Will Soon Happen in the Days of His Life" and I'll let you know what future episodes might bring.

To All Single Parents

2006-05-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

After watching American Idol and getting two doses of Scrubs , I'm finally taking time tonight to post. What's on my mind? Not a lot right now because I'm trying to recover from a sickness. But there is one thing I've been thinking about for the past 4 days. When I first brought Lainey home (see the previous post "My New Roommate") I new I had a lot of work ahead of me. This was a puppy that had no training at all and it was totally up to me to begin housetraining her. What a formidable task! The constant soiling of my carpet was enough to make me scream and I had to keep my eyes on her constantly. As a result, I was not able to do the things that I loved to do such as cranking up some great music and spending hours sitting at my drawing board or sitting at my keyboard trying to teach myself how to play once again. All of my time was dedicated to Lainey and I was sacrificing pretty much everything. The times when I was actually away from the house doing something fun, I was also feeling guilty while Lainey was left outside in the backyard. Sacrificing hobbies, cleaning carpet, and feeling guilty was my life.

I would tell people that I felt like the single parent of an infant child. I know you're saying "Come on, Ryan...it's a dog!" I know she's a dog but it was my responsibility to take care of her because no one else was here. Well, I have recently returned Lainey to the Humane Society because I didn't feel like I was able to take care of her the way that I should. I'm hoping she will find a better home with children who have more time to play with her. It was a painful decision because I miss her cute little face and seeing her run as fast as she can from the back of the yard to me when I would get home from work. However, I am now able to enjoy my hobbies and do the things that I was not able to do earlier. Selfish? Maybe so. But as you said, "Come on, Ryan...it's a dog!"

This experience has caused me to think about single parents who have it far worse than I did. I know these people have to sacrifice everything to take care of their children. That is a HUGE responsibility, especially when the children are very young. I know of individuals who are in this situation and they have my utmost respect. To totally forget about your own needs and direct all of your energy toward taking care of someone else is an admirable accomplishment. To all single parents...my hat's off to you!

Finding Pleasure in Pain

2006-04-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

Is it really possible to find pleasure in pain? I'm the kind of guy who likes to look for good in everything but I'll be honest with you, I have failed miserably this week. Let me take you through the last several days. Sunday night I played basketball with a group of guys. I was the second oldest person on the court. We ended up putting the old guys on one team and the youngsters on the other. We played two games of full court basketball (each game played to 30 by one's and two's). I'm proud to say that the old geezers won both games but if the rest of my teammates are anything like me, the price of victory is steep. I woke up the next morning with two sore knees and a tired body. I spent the day in Auburn at an Education Fair and immediately went to work out with Baron upon my return to Montgomery. I was off work on Tuesday and ended up cleaning house during the morning, playing half-court basketball at lunch, and mowing my yard right after we finished basketball.

Now I enjoyed many of the previously mentioned activities with a few exceptions. However, my body ached so bad Tuesday night I was miserable. Why would I run up and down a basketball court with a bunch of teenagers? Why would I do an insane number of pushups, squats, bootstrappers, striders, and situps that result in my muscles and joints screaming at me? Why would I insist on playing basketball for an hour and jumping behind my lawnmower right after that? All of this was done in an attempt to stay in shape. The pain involved in all of these activities is supposed to be overshadowed by the pleasure of having a fairly fit body for a 38 year old.

But is it really worth it? That question ran through my mind on multiple occasions Monday night and Tuesday night. My answer then was "no". However, I'm strong and I will not give up. Baron will just have to continue listening to me complain about the exercises we attempt to conquer so that I may one day experience the pleasure of being able to outplay and outrun other men my age and maybe younger while singing Carly Simon's hit "Haven't Got Time for the Pain". Thanks for the motivation Carly.

Who Wants to Get Married?

2006-04-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

No...I haven't reached the point of desperation where I post an open invitation for anyone who might be interested in wedded bliss. In fact, this isn't a wedding proposal at all. I came to a realization not too long ago and, being the servant that I am, I thought I would share it in an effort to help others. Looking back at recent years, I have discovered that almost all of the ladies I have dated are either married now or engaged to be married. I can think of only two who are not engaged...at least to my knowledge. But don't be surprised if you see engagement announcements in the Montgomery paper for a certain tall CVS pharmacist and a north Alabama paper with a picture of a curly-haired bride-to-be. That would keep my streak alive.

It seems like everyone that I date ends up finding the "right man" after dating me. Therefore, if you are ready for marriage just let me know and I'll ask you out. I'm 99.9% sure that you will be engaged within the next couple of years. More than likely, you will not be engaged to me but I'm pretty sure someone will come along and pop the question. Now, we will have to go on a minimum of two dates for this to count. The maximum period of time to date is four months. Somewhere between two dates and a four month serious relationship with me can result in a ring being placed on your finger...by another man.

Go ahead. Give it a try. I'm here to serve.

My New Roommate

2006-04-05T15:45:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce the newest member of the Adair family. This is Hannah Elaine Adair. Curious about the name? Hannah is the name she had at the Humane Society where I adopted her. In keeping with tradition, I had to give her a "Seinfeld" name since my last dog was named Kramer...therefore, Elaine. I call her Lainey since that was Jerry's nickname for Elaine.

I'm having a blast house-training her (he says sarcastically). I feel like a single parent with an infant child. Lainey is an Australian Shepherd and is supposed to be very intelligent. Unfortunately, she hasn't shown any signs of that intelligence as of yet. She's only 2 months old so maybe I should give her a little more time...ya think? Meanwhile, I'll continue avoiding piles and puddles as I walk through my house and look forward to the day of rejoicing when she remembers that all activity regarding the expellation of waste MUST take place outside. Your prayers are welcome.

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

2006-03-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

No...I'm not going to post anything about the Rolling Stones. In fact, I'm not a fan of the Stones in any form or fashion. The title of this post comes more from a struggle that I'm having to deal with right now. It's easy for me to look at my life and see how much God has blessed me. I have a great family who loves me, friends who love me, a nice house, a nice car, a good job, and many other things. However, there is one area of my life that is not complete. It feels like there is a hole that needs to be filled. And I know I'm not alone. I think everybody has a hole that they wish they could fill. These holes can be in different areas of our lives and come in different sizes. Some holes are much larger than others and it seems like it takes forever to shovel enough dirt in there to top it off where satisfaction is finally reached.

Wouldn't it be great if all of our holes could be filled to the point that we desired nothing else? If we could finally satisfy the last need of our life. Everyone is probably at least a little familiar with the Hierarchy of Needs as presented by Abraham Maslow. The need located at the top of his hierarchy is self-actualization. Satisfying this need means you have reached the point in your life where you are doing what you feel you were created to do. You have satisfied all of the basic needs of life including safety, self esteem, love and affection in your relationships, etc. and now you are where you desire to be. Wouldn't that be great? Please let me know if you have reached this point in your life because I would love to talk to you and find out how you were able to accomplish that formidable task.

In our small group this past Sunday night, a good friend of mine helped me realize that I can reach self-actualization a lot easier and quicker than I thought was possible. We were studying 1 Thessalonians 5 and we read verses 16-18.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

I have had the question "what is God's will for me?" floating around in my head for a while. My friend made an excellent observation (as she always does) that God's will for us is perfectly stated in those three verses. God's will for me is to always pray and be joyful thanking Him for what He has done for me regardless of what is going on in my life. I have read these verses many, many times before, but that was the first time they actually made sense as far as what I need to do. That is how I can get my satisfaction. That is how my holes can be filled. Sure, things that I don't like or understand are going to happen in my life, but my reaction should be as Paul wrote to the Thessalonian people:

Always be joyful

Pray continually

Thank God in all circumstances

That is God's will for all of us. So, my friends, throw down your shovels and stop breaking your back trying to fill these holes on your own. Thank God for the holes in your life and leave them to Him to be filled. Who knows, an empty hole may be the one thing that all of us need.