Andrew's Random Thoughts

Getting Handier by the Day

2009-06-06T23:36:00.002-04:00

I have blogged previously about how moving to NC has made me handier, both out of necessity and increased interest. I have started taking on more projects as my skills and collection of tools grow.

For my birthday recently, my wife got me a few woodworking books. I guess she figured they'd a be a good gift after I made 2 raised bed vegetable gardens in April. I had always been interested in woodworking, but never had the tools / space / skills to really tackle it. I saw the books as a good opportunity to pursue this interest.

I choose 2 projects for immediate work - a sandbox for the kids and a workbench. These are really closer to carpentry than fine woodwork, but seem to be a good place to start and quite practical.

So I ordered the lumber and even found a decent table saw on Craigslist. The saw seemed good enough, but actually ended up needing a few things. I had to actually fabricate a small part for the table from junk I had lying around. This was major accomplishment #1 for me, and I was quite proud of solving a real problem with tools and skills.

In cutting some 4x4s for the sandbox yesterday, I had another problem with the saw. I will spare you the details, but suffice to say that by the time I had fixed the broken crank mechanism this evening I felt like an invincible handyman. I'm sure this feeling will pass once I break something beyond repair in what is sure to be the near future.

So project #1 is the sandbox. I first created some cool plans using Google Sketchup, which I also had to learn to use. I did a good bit of the work today (despite starting my morning in a childrens' museum and not having my table saw). After doing all the measuring, cutting, dry fitting, drilling, sanding, and putting the kids to bed, I fixed the table saw.

Man, it feels good to get stuff like that done! Bragging about it here is almost as good. Just wait and see how I brag about it once the thing is actually built!

Cinco de Mayo Lunch

2009-05-05T12:59:00.003-04:00

Did I ever mention that I am the king of leftovers? Well, in the spirit of the holiday, here is what I improvised for lunch, almost entirely from leftovers:

Vegetarian Soft Tacos

1/2 fresh avocado (recent leftover)
lemon juice
hot sauce
fresh cilantro leaves (1/4 of a plastic box, leftover)
1 or 2 oz diced mozzarella cheese (leftover from last week's chicken parm)
1/2 cup (leftover) cooked brown rice
2 (leftover) whole wheat tortillas

Mash and mix avocado, lemon juice and hot sauce to a faux-guac paste. Heat up the rice. Spread faux-guac on warmed tortilla, add rice, good helping of cilantro, and half the diced cheese. Fold, eat, and repeat.

Please Stop Talking About Swine Flu!!

2009-05-01T16:14:00.008-04:00

Can we please - PLEASE - apply some common sense here. Swine flu is less like to kill you than almost anything. Take a look at this from the CDC:

Causes of Death in US Last Year:

Heart disease: 652,091
Cancer: 559,312
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 143,579
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 130,933
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 117,809
Diabetes: 75,119
Alzheimer's disease: 71,599
Influenza/Pneumonia: 63,001
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 43,901
Septicemia: 34,136

Now, here's the latest stats on Swine Flu, also from the CDC: 141 cases in the US, 1 death.

Did you notice that Influenza/Pneumonia (that is the good, old fashioned human kind) killed 63,001 people last year? Are you afraid of it? How about Septicemia? Do you even know what that is? Yet is has killed 34,135 more people last year than Swine Flu has killed this year. While you're at it, better not do anything that gives you cancer (i.e. everything). Might also want to drop that hamburger too, as it is likely to cause one of the top 3 causes of death.

I have read that Swine Flu is actually milder in its symptoms than regular flu. Milder than a plain old flu... and yet all we hear on the news day and night is that Swine Flu is on the verge of turning this planet into a scene from of a Mad Max movie. I believe Joe Biden actually said something like, "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!! RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!"

Can I tell you how much I hate the mainstream media? I already hated them a whole lot, but this Swine Flu thing is pushing me into a borderline violent frenzy of hatred. In fact, I think "Media-Induced Frenzy Related Death" will probably exceed Swine Flu in the body count for 2009.

The Score

2009-04-30T09:13:00.002-04:00

Yard sales are great. Sure, there are always going to be lame ones, but overall a morning spent hunting through local yard sales will yield lots of good stuff. You should also expect one really great deal - the score.

So last Saturday I took the family around to a few community yard sales in the area. We got lots of kids books, a few shirts (tags still on them), DVDs, a couple of toys and games, etc. There was nothing, however, that constituted "the score" until one of the last houses we hit. It was there that we came upon a 1.5 Qt Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker. The no-haggle price for this very lightly used ("just 2 times") piece of gear - $10. SCORE!!! And yes, that includes all the parts, the instruction manual, and even the box.

So yesterday I made my first batch of simple vanilla ice cream. It is delicious! It's just 4 ingredients (heavy cream, milk, sugar, and vanilla extract) and requires to cooking, but it is so very good. You can bet we will be experimenting with flavors and getting fatter throughout the summer.

Liberty and Pipe Smoking

2009-03-24T14:26:00.001-04:00

I was inspired by one of my forums to create this flag for pipe smokers. All I did was add the pipe, but still I'm pretty proud of it.

Why I Don't Use Facebook

2009-03-23T10:44:00.000-04:00

It sure seems like I am the last person without a Facebook account. My wife and her friends are addicted to it, and even my mother-in-law has given in to the peer pressure and setup a Facebook account. So why I do continue to hold out? Here's some thoughts on that:

- If I haven't spoken to you since junior high, there's probably a reason.
- Did you just finish making breakfast for your kids? Yeah, so what? I'm not that interested in your status.
- I have 3 phone numbers, 4 email addresses, and 5 instant messaging accounts. If we have something to say to each other, there are already plenty of good ways to do it.
- I don't want to take any more personality quizzes, play trivia games, or participate in other nonsense.
- I once saw my wife feeding a virtual puppy in a Facebook app that a "friend" had sent her. I promised myself that I ever did anything like that I would have to kill myself.

Look, I use LinkedIn now and then. There is value to social networking when it has an actual purpose - i.e. staying in contact with former business associates in case I need another job. But Facebook takes it too far. I proudly remain the last holdout.

Things I Saw Julie Do Today

2009-03-15T18:09:00.002-04:00

My 1 year old daughter did 2 funny things today:

1) While going through an age-appropriate pictorial board book about animals, she saw a picture of bunny. To show me what sound the bunny makes, she felt it was appropriate to growl like a fierce beast.

2) After dinner she pulled her hair, then exclaimed, "Ow!!" Then did it again. Repeatedly.

See a trend here?

My Addiction

2009-03-13T09:54:00.002-04:00

My name is Andrew and I am addicted to buying batteries. (Hi Andrew.) It started innocently enough... I needed batteries for my new camera. eBay, Meritline, Buy.com, ... they were all so willing to accomodate. Next thing I knew I was at Costco buying bulk AA batteries. I even got my wife to buy batteries for me.

Then I started trolling the discount sites.... cheapstingybargains.com, dealnews.com, etc. Pretty soon I moved on from alkalines to the hard stuff - rechargables. It was all downhill from there. Before I knew it I had multiple chargers going at the same time! Yes, I even bought a dedicated battery tester from eBay Canada so I could check the quality of my stuff. [Uncontrollable sobbing]

Now I'm 1 week clean of battery and battery-related purchases. It's a first step down a long road of recovery. I just need to remind myself that I have enough batteries to last a long, long time. And I need to steer clear of the enablers, especially those daily deal listings. Just a few minutes ago I was tempted to buy a great deal on ready to use recharables complete with a compact charger for 80% off. But I trusted in my Higher Power for strength, and I made it through it that dark forest.

Spring is Coming!

2009-03-05T09:04:00.002-05:00

After a fairly brutal few days of Winter weather, today will see nearly 60 degree temps and sunny skies here in NC. And after that, we're looking at 70's for the foreseeable future. Oh yeah - Spring is just about here and I, for one, and ready for it.

While this Winter was much worse than last Winter, overall it's still a lot milder than NY Winters. Oh, and did I mention I don't ever have to stand outside waiting for a bus here? Yeah, that helps a lot too.

Chess for Girls

2009-03-01T22:20:00.002-05:00

My 4 year old daughter likes to play around with my chess pieces now and then to "play chess." Today I let her do just that. After a few minutes of illegal, random moves and nonsensical captures, she decided the pieces needed to "get married." So there was pairing up of like shaped pieces. Soon the larger pieces were even having babies (the pawns, of course). They were living on the chess board in little family units. Thoroughly adorable.

Many years ago Saturday Night Live feature a "commercial" for a product called "Chess for Girls." My wife and I are fond of quoting this sketch whenever our daughter decides to "play chess." For your viewing pleasure, the original "Chess for Girls":

http://www.videosift.com/video/SNL-ad-Chess-for-Girls

"She smells like Strawberries!"

We are sure that the writer of this fine bit of comedy must have been inspired by similar circumstances with his own daughter.

Book Recommendation

2009-01-27T20:41:00.004-05:00

To the vast readership of this dynamic "web log" or "blog," as the kids call it - I would like to draw your attention to this amazing book. I highly recommend picking up a copy. If you can wait, you may want to hold off until the highly anticipated second edition comes out to ensure the very latest information. Please read the reviews as they speak for themselves.

Oddly, I almost did my senior thesis on this very subject, however my adviser claimed that the topic had already been too broadly covered in academic publications to allow much room for groundbreaking new research. Sadly, as Mr. Parker has proved, that was not the case at all. I, therefore, wasted my senior year in college writing about the evolution of medical licensing laws in New York State from 1665 to 1907.

What kind of pipe does Santa smoke?

2008-12-12T16:52:00.002-05:00

This question was recently posed as a contest on a pipe smoking forum I frequent. Here is my response:

As per the North Pole Elves Protection Act of 2004, smoking tobacco products of any kind is strictly prohibited in any working environment. This is for the safety of the workers, as the dangers of second hand smoke are a widely known established fact.

Furthermore, because Elvus Articus, commonly known as the "North Pole Elf" is on the United Nations list of Endangered and Threatened Species, additional care and precaution must be taken in preserving their habit. Therefore tobacco products of any kind are strictly prohibited anywhere in the elves natural habit. This includes but is not limited to Santa's Workshop, Elves Quarters, Santa's Home (he employees a staff of "domestic elves" for light household duties), the entire region located north of the 89th parallel in the Northern Hemisphere, and certain construction routes in Iceland (see http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/13/in...e/13elves.html).

Some have inquired as to the legality of smoking on Santa's sleigh, particularly while it is not located at the North Pole during flight around the world on Christmas Eve. Here, of course, we need to consider aviation guidelines. Airspace around the world includes a mixture of countries that still barbarically allow smoking on aircraft, and the vast majority that do not. And there is also international airspace to consider. In light of the fact that Santa's flight path crosses into airspace that prohibits smoking during any flight, the entire flight plan must be considered as occurring through smoke-free airspace. Smoking during Santa's flight is, therefore, prohibited.

In addition, even if Santa decides to alter his flight plan and only deliver presents to locations where in-flight smoking is permitted (i.e. to uncivilized paleolithic nations), smoking would still be strictly prohibited as the second hand smoke would possess a grave danger to the rarest and most vulnerable of Santa's employees - the flying reindeer.

Special note: Beginning in 2009, Santa will no longer be able to produce or deliver any tobacco-related gift items, including but not limited to pipe tobacco, cigars, cigarettes, pipes, cigarette holders, ashtrays, pipe cleaners, tampers, clippers, and of course lighters. These changes are going into effect for everyone's safety and well being.

Why Do We Still Have Remote Controls?

2008-10-22T14:16:00.002-04:00

I was thinking today about growing old, calling my wife by my new pet name for her ("mother"), and asking her, in our old age, to "Pass me the remote, mother." And then I got thinking - we won't have those barbaric things in the future. We'll just tell the TV what we want it to do and it will do it.

Then I really started thinking - why they heck don't we have voice controlled TV now? Why, for the love of Pete, can't I just say, "Change channel to History Channel... raise volume... show guide..." etc. Well, I suppose I can say that to my TV. It just won't do anything.

Man, I just feel like the future is suppose to be here already. I mean, we already have voice recognition technology for computers and such. Where is it on my TV? For that matter, where are my moving sidewalks (besides the airport), flying cars, and mandatory state-issued unitards? Gotta keep waiting, I guess...

You May Call Me Sanjay Patel

2008-10-11T18:02:00.003-04:00

That's my new Indian name. I just made my own chicken tikka masala for dinner. It was a so money. I've decided that I've earned my own Indian name: Sanjay Patel.

Veal and Hotel Room Smoking

2008-10-07T18:15:00.001-04:00

Today I went to a business lunch with my female co-worker and 3 other folks from a customer's office. One of the customer's was also a woman and a vegetarian (with allowances for fish). We were in a nice Italian restaurant.

My co-worker asked me what I going to order, to which I replied, "the veal lunch special." She then proceeded to tell us that eating veal and other baby animals makes her sad. My reply was, "I get sad when I don't eat veal."

I thought that sentence should tell you everything you need to know about me.

On a completely unrelated note, I am currently staying in a hotel. I was "stuck with" a smoking room for the 2nd time in as many months. Fortunately, I have my pipe stuff with me. I have decided that I am going to change my travel profile room preferences from "non-smoking" to "smoking." Smoking a pipe indoors rocks. It's a pity that more hotels these days are moving to all non-smoking. Might as well enjoy it while I can.

Ice Tea

2008-09-19T16:28:00.002-04:00

Here's another thing that is just better in North Carolina - ice tea. Nobody here serves crappy ice tea. It's all good, fresh stuff, brewed in house for the most part. Up in NY, it's mostly soda fountain junk or Snapple-like products.

Sweet tea in particular is great here. Of course there's a lot of sugar. We've taken to mixing sweet and unsweet together 50/50. Fantastic. For non-alcoholic beverages on a warm summer day it can't be beat.

First Home Haircut

2008-09-15T09:46:00.002-04:00

I had been toying with the idea of do-it-yourself home haircuts for a while. My hair is very simple. It's basically a crew cut or, at most, a crew cut with a slight taper from the really, really short sides to the really short top. How much effort is it really? Was it worth my spending $15-25 per month? Of course when I lived next door to my barber, and she only charged $10, the decision was much simpler.

So a friend recently inspired me to try it, as he cuts his own (very, very short) hair. When we were at Costco ("The Cost Company," as like to call it) as few weeks ago, they had a Conair home haircut kit, complete with electric razor, clips, instructional video, scissors, and even a beard trimmer. And it was fairly cheap (like $25). We bought it.

Yesterday I decided it was time. I made the Mrs watch the instructional video and set up outside for my hair cut. She put the #2 clip on the razor and started cutting away. It was going really well for a while. Then she took the clip off and started using the bare electric razor to trim up the line around the ear and back of the neck.

While she was doing this, Jessica (my 3 year old) came around and was showing me something. Ilissa stopped for a moment to talk to Jessica as I handled whatever it is she was showing us. And then, quite carelessly, Ilissa ran the razor into the side of my temple, shearing a 2 inch line almost to the scalp.

After some heated exchange of words we both calmed down, ultimately agreeing that it was only hair, after all. She finally admitted that she should have been paying more attention, especially with a buzzing razor near my head. Oh well.

In the end, we put a #1 clip on and just shaved the whole thing as short as it has ever been. I kind of like the way it looks and feels at this very, very short length. You can hardly see the razor slash on my temple with the hair this low. And I actually ended up doing most of the shearing the with #1 clip, with Ilissa only doing the edging.

So in the end I'll call it a success. Home haircuts are possible, if your style is simple enough. Maybe in the future we'll venture into fancy things like tapering, but for now a very short crew cut will be my very thrifty style.

The Common Era

2008-09-09T13:12:00.003-04:00

Can writers, academics, and other nitwits please stop using the abbreviations "C.E" (for common era) and the even dumber "B.C.E" (before the common era)? You think you sound more intelligent or enlightened for using these terms instead of A.D. (Anno Domini, "the year of our Lord") or B.C. (before Christ), respectively, but it's actually quite childish.

I realize that acknowledging the importance of the birth of Christ hurts your multicultural soul or scientific mind. Or, for that matter, even acknowledging the importance of Christianity in western culture is like receiving a 3 lb splinter in your neck. So do you think that basing your dating system on the Incarnation of the Lord but pretending it's not based on said event is any better?

Look, if you hate Christ, Christians, and western culture so much, then just stop using His birth (or whatever approximation of it we base our system on) as a dating reference point. Maybe you'd prefer to base your dates off the publishing of The Origin of Species, or Das Kapital. I say, go for it. You'll be happier and I'll be happier. I won't know what year you are referring to, but at least we'll all be happy.

Or you can grow up and use the system the rest of the world uses, while acknowledging its basis. It's OK - No one will believe you are a closet Christian, or that you don't hate capitalism or religious people or America or whatever.

And, yes, I know the system is actually off by a few years on the actual event (or so historians currently believe). And yet somehow I still manage to get by and use it, and still properly refer the to eras as B.C. and A.D.

Steak and Eggs

2008-09-03T09:34:00.002-04:00

Is there a manlier breakfast than steak and eggs? Probably not, unless it's steak and eggs prepared by for you by your wife.

Well, by golly, then I just had the second manliest breakfast there is. And man, do I like steak and eggs.

The steak, of course, must be rare. Really rare. And the eggs must be fried, over easy. You get that nice runny yolk all over the steak with a bit of the eggs on the same fork... aghhhhh.... [drowning on my drool]....

Southern Friendliness

2008-08-05T10:18:00.003-04:00

OK, so back to my comparisons of life up North with life here in NC. I know it's a cliche, but people are friendlier here.

People wave to you when you drive by their house. In fact, I've taken to waving to everyone who drives by and saying hello to everyone who walks by. Contrast this with me yelling at and generally hating the kids in front of my townhouse in Staten Island.

Another place you notice the friendliness difference is when dealing with employees of restaurants and retail stores. And I don't mean waiters /waitresses - they appear friendly everywhere because their tips depend on it. No, here in NC even the fast food people are super-friendly and helpful. When you buy something from someone, you don't get the vibe that you are interrupting their chat or personal time. In NYC you get attitude 80% of the time. Here, almost never.

Another interesting thing - many people I meet here are not native to the area. Most of my neighbors, in fact, have relocated from the North or elsewhere, as I have. Still, it seems the Northerners who come down here quickly assimilate. Or perhaps they just never fit into the nasty attitude up North in the first place, and moved down here to escape it.

Some would argue that Southerners appear more friendly, but in reality they might hate you or be spiteful or whatever. This may be true to some extent. With Northerners, you know where you stand. If I hate you, I make no secret about it, nor do I sugar coat my words as I plot to back stab you. On the other hand:

- I don't care if the girl at Chick-Fil-A secretly hates me or not, as long as she's friendly when she serves my chicken.

- I also don't care if my casual acquaintances (neighbors and such) hate me. Really, I'm not that sensitive.

- For good friends, I should know whether or not they are sincere, so there's no concern there.

So I'll have to give a big advantage to the South on this point.

I Love This Sport

2008-07-07T14:46:00.001-04:00

Chess boxing has a new champ. Long live Chess boxing.

New Photos

2008-07-05T15:14:00.001-04:00

OK, I've obviously been real lax about all my hobbies over the last few months. Anyway, if you want about a year's worth of photos (not much actually this year) go over to my photos page or check out the new galleries directly here and here. Also, Ilissa always has the her latest photos on her Flickr page. Enjoy.

The Handyman Vibe

2008-07-01T15:20:00.002-04:00

In NY, I never had any desire to do anything handy. Nothing. My house was a small, simple townhouse with almost no outside to maintain save 14 linear feet of frontage and 14 linear feet of, uh, backage (?). I could hang a picture and that was about it.

I kind of felt that I might go that way down here in NC too. But something has gradually changed in me since we moved down here. I actually want to learn how to maintain, fix, or upgrade my home. Here, I have a lot of house to play with, and a lot of yard to enjoy. Part of it may be that I am tired of paying people to do things I can learn to do. Part of it may be that I feel this home is more permanent than my last one.

Whatever the reason, I now find myself lustily reading through tool catalogs. I have ideas for using space. I mow my own lawn and maintain the equipment. I laid out a gravel bed for a shed and built it myself from a kit. Heck, I even made my own pipe tampers from a tree I pruned.

Of course there are still things I'd rather pay experts for, or teams of people. Why do something that I will likely screw up, or take on an incredibly labor-intensive task when it isn't too expensive to have a team of guys do it? But more and more I find that I want to be handy and do things myself. Maybe it's part of the spirit of this place.

A Time to Kill

2008-06-30T18:45:00.002-04:00

Another aspect of life in NC that I am still getting used to is the eternal struggle between man and nature. Thunderstorms are just one part of that. Another part - the one I will write about today - is my effort in killing things.

I was taken aback the other day by the fact that I keep starting my sentences to my wife with, "I am going out to kill ..." Sometimes the rest of that sentence is fairly benign, like, "weeds" or "grass growing in the mulch beds." On a few occasions, however, I've ended the sentence with "that nest of wasps," "the mouse in the fireplace," "the black window in the access pipe," or "the snake near the shed." And my wife knows what is implied when I come in from the yard and say, "I need my big shovel."

Living in the concrete jungle of NYC, I had been so isolated from nature that I assumed man's struggle for survival in the elements was over. What remained were trivial things like avoiding pigeon poop or whacking a silverfish with a shoe. Now, living out here in the country (or at least the outskirts of the burbs) I realize that the struggle continues.

I am getting over my fears of wild creatures and my reluctance to kill living things. It's not that I no longer respect God's creation - far from it! I just have a better perspective on my place within that creation and am better able to justify my need to survive and protect my family.

I'm Back... Again... Really This Time

2008-06-29T22:06:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I know. I'm lazy about keeping my blog up. Well, I've been living in NC since October (that makes over 8 months now), and I finally have some perspective on it. I figure I can at least share my feeling on NC, moving, life here vs. life there, etc. So let's get started, shall we.

As I sit here typing this, It is thundering outside (don't worry, I'm unplugged). In NYC, thunderstorms almost never concerned me. The power generally stayed on through everything. I never feared that something might blow over and destroy my house. And though summer in NYC sees its share of storms, it was by no means a near-everyday occurrence.

Thunderstorms here in NC are a different story, as are many weather-related phenomena. For starters, we get lots more thunderstorms this time of year than I am used to. In fact, at least so far (and we are barely into summer) I feel like we are averaging late afternoon / early evening thunderstorms 3-5 times per week. Sometimes they pass and are nothing. As often as not, however, they are big, violent things, bringing lots of wind, water, and sometimes hail (haven't seen that here yet, but other parts of the Triangle have gotten some). If there were trees near my house, I'd be concerned that they'd topple (where I live is mostly open fields, with most of the trees at the edge of the community, beyond my back fence).

We haven't had a major power outage yet, which actually surprises me. With all of this lighting I feel it's just a matter of time, but still the lights stay on. Hooray for the power company!

And there is an aspect of the thunderstorms that is welcome - water. We are still in a bit of a drought here, so this helps a lot. It also means I can put off understand and programming my sprinkler system for a few more days.

So, in summary, while the thunderstorms in NC seem more threatening than those in NYC in several ways, it has not really been a terrible or dramatic change. Certainly the difference is enough to notice, but has not yet risen above a minor nuisance.