NewYorke.org

Floppy Buns

2008-07-23T07:36:00.001-07:00

I had to share this one. In the summer, Ian generally just wears a onesie to bed. The other day, April got him up and changed his diaper, but didn't button up his onesie. So, he says, "Mama, my buns are floppy."

Girl's camp

2008-07-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Girl's Camp on Saturday. What a neat experience!!! I went a few years ago, but at that point in my life, I was still trembling from grad school and my first year working for the school district- so I don't remember much.

I love Girl's camp!!! We went to a camp in Louisiana called Camp Edgewood. It is one of the most well kept Boy Scout Camps I have ever seen. We had 16 girls, three leaders, and a lot of fun. The July heat can be fierce, but the camp had nice tree coverage for much of the camp which helped significantly.

It's amazing how much the girl's tell you about themselves, their lives, and their challenges when you are out having fun and just hanging out with them. These are amazing girls. Many of them are having experiences not too unlike my own growing up. At first glance, people think,what trials could people be experiencing here in Yuppyville? But it's just not true. 2/3rds of these beautiful and valiant young women were experiencing something similar to some portion of my experiences growing up. From detrimentally poor examples of family members, to watching and worrying about a sick parent, being alone either emotionally and/or spiritually, or facing fear and abandonment when things are bad enough that you need to find another place for yourself. Amazingly enough, these young women were still here! They were still holding on and struggling with all their energy to figure it all out. I felt myself doing my best to cheer them on, "You're doing great. Keep it up. I know it's easier to give up, but that way is the path to a miserable existence. Keep it up. You are doing the right thing. Don't give up. And whatever you do, Please, don't seek after bad choices-- desperate misery is ahead on that path. Ask the Lord to help you. He will help you every day. Read your scriptures. Pray. And Pray some more. You can't make it without his help." I know I couldn't make it without his help.

I found myself spiritually fed just being in their presence. Watching and learning. They put on quite an amazing presentation! I found myself in tears for almost half of the hour long presentation. I am grateful for their contribution to my spiritual development. I hope that I will have the opportunity again to be with them.

My grandma

2008-07-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

So a few posts ago- I mentioned my grandma's wedding. What I failed to mention was that I have seen her since then. In June, she happened to be in Bolivar (across the ferry from Galveston.. a total of about 2 hours away). My father, Dave, Ian, and I went out to see her for a few hours. (Bless Dave's heart- he was really busy that day, but I made him come anyway for protection.) She and my Uncle Ricky, his wife, and their grandkids were there. They had rented a cute little beach house on Bolivar. It was quite quaint. They were all very warm. (A marked difference from my last experience.) It was really a very positive experience. I even learned a thing or two about my mother. It was nice to see my grandmother so healthy. She's really doing well. She mentioned that she might throw a family reunion sometime. I told her to schedule it on a Friday and Saturday and we would do our best to be there. She lives in Arkansas.

When It all added up. I'm really glad I made the choice that I did (to not go to the wedding). Doing that would not have been commensurate with the relationship we had. But going two hours to see her- that was. And I'm glad we went. It was nice. We took some photos. I'm sure Dave will help me to attach them later.

My Buddy

2008-07-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Melissa Mathews gave this doll to Ian for Christmas. He has recently rediscovered it. It reminds me of the old My Buddy commercials. He carries the thing around and takes care of it. Yesterday he told me that the baby needed to go to bed. We came up to his room later and found that he had indeed put the baby to bed and tucked him in. He even insists that we buckle him in when we get in the car.

Kemah Boardwalk

2008-07-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

Last week we went to the Kemah Boardwalk. It's got all kinds of rides that were perfect for Ian. He had a great time. Of course, he rode the train three times.

It's been a while

2008-07-13T08:00:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I've written. Sorry about that. Ian's been keeping me quite busy. And I think I was going through a struggle or two for a while. You know, I try not to look back on my experiences growing up. It can be quite traumatizing to look back. I try to look back only enough to make me realize how much the Lord has done for me, but not enough to throw myself into crisis.
Fortunately/ unfortunately I've had a few experiences over the past little while that have forced me to look back and try to make sense of it all. In November and December, my blood sugar hit the dust again. My hypoglycemia is something I have struggled with since I was 19. (arguably since 13). I spend most of my life with my blood sugar in the 50-70 range. It creates for me very real and distinct physical limits. I've pretty much just learned to live with them and enjoy life anyway. It's tough for me when I hit the dust again however.
Our whole family got the flu the day after Christmas and it took all of us a couple of months to pull out of it (me -even longer).
Why is this a big deal? Well, to be honest. I'm 31. I have a disorder of the pancreas. My mother was 32 when she died. Her pancreas exploded. (She also had a significant prescription drug problem which factored in significantly.) Cognitively, I know that it's all ok. (I'm not going to die or anything.) But it does cause me to stop and ponder and occasionally worry just a little bit.

So- I pulled out of that in Feb sometime. Then at the end of February, I get a call from my Father. About the time I found out I had been dropped by my health insurance because of my hypoglycemia. Apparently my grandmother (my mother's mom) was getting married (for the 6th time) in the temple (for the first time). Since I am the only grandchild who is temple worthy. She wanted me to come he said.

Well. In order to understand my response, you will need to get some background info...
When my mother was alive, I had an entire network of people who cared about me. My mom had 5 siblings. I had 13 cousins, all who lived within 30 miles and got together quite a lot. My mom had 2 best friends and we spent a lot of time with them as well. All of my grandparents were an active part of my life. My mom was active in the PTA and I always got great parts because of her support. We had a lot of connections--- at school, at church, family connections. We spent every holiday at my grandma's house- all of us cousins. I loved it. We were your typical middle class family. (plus a drug addicted, but otherwise amazing mother).

Well, my mom died and within 2 years- everyone disappeared. My aunts, uncle, cousins, grandparents on both sides, my mom's best friends and everyone at church (we were largely shunned). We were no longer invited to Christmas at my grandmothers. My father had offended them all. At the time it didn't bother me. I was a pretty independent soul. That was 3rd to 5th grade.

But life moves on. When I was 18 (give or take), I drove down there from Abilene with my brother Chuckie. We were visiting my father and my aunts (who we hadn't seen in close to 10 years). We decided to go see my grandma. Well, when we got there they barely let us in the door. My Uncle Ricky yelled at us for 4-5 minutes before they let us in.

That's right, I hadn't seen her for almost 10 years and she barely let us in the door. And that was the ONLY interaction I had had with my grandmother since I was 10. So when my Father called and she wanted me to come to her wedding in Arkansas (which would have cost me up to $1000 for flights and hotel), my immediate reaction was some combination of feeling hurt (because they were so Rude), feeling betrayed (dumped, abandoned), feeling pissed that she would expect so much from me when she treated me so badly, and overall used that she only wanted me there because she just wanted to have a family member at her wedding and I was the only one. I immediately said "no". But it was pretty important to my father, which caused me to feel quite conflicted about the thing. She was a member of the church and should have someone at her wedding. And I was her granddaughter (supposedly).

It caused me to take a good hard look at why all of these people disappeared and what I could do to ensure that my son would NEVER be left alone like we were. WE were in serious poverty, basically inches from the streets for years before my father dumped us at my Aunt's house. Where my cousin smoked crack in my front yard. I had a friend who took me to church and mutual every week (Thank you Melissa Crockett). Simply going to church kept me protected from a lot of what was going on around there- kept me from being taken advantage of--- too badly at least. My brother wasn't so lucky.

The combination of these things and the pressure to have another kid. Ian's 2.5 now, so every other day someone asks me when we will have another. I think it's rude!!!!!!!!

Anyway- I think I've recently made peace with all of this. At least for now. But If I've been quiet, that might have something to do with it. Dave and I have been working hard to get our life in order. We're doing great! We've come a long way. In June, we conquered the last bit of our credit card debt- which was HUGE a year ago. (Roughly a mortage payment worth each month.) Now we are saving and using that mortgage payment worth to pay off our cars, student loans, and house. We'll get there. We're doing great! Life feels a lot more secure now.

Co-writing

2008-07-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long.
I guess I've gone through a quiet phase here. Largely due to the fact that--- well, I have a very active 2.5 year old who insists that I keep up with him. :) He's amazing. We really enjoy him. We've been co-writing alot lately.... I do the drawing and the physical writing of the words, and he tells me what to draw and write. It frees him of all of the physical and linguistic difficulties of writing so he can just create. He loves it. It's been amazing what this kid has created. This kid has some great stories to tell! Of course most of them are about Thomas and his friends. "Thomas is pulling Annie and Clarabell all over the Island of Sodor". "Thomas has a funnel and a big separate coal tender at the back." Not too shabby for a 2.5 year old. I'll try to get Dave to help me attach some of his pictures.

Sea World

2008-07-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

It occurs to me that we haven't posted in a long time :). We went to Sea World (San Antonio) in May. Here are the photos. Cheers.

Two- In all its glory!

2008-02-16T15:58:00.000-08:00

You know. Ian is amazing. He really is just a delightful little munchkin. He is 2 (and 4 months). And with the age comes a vocabulary that is pack full of "my", "mine", and "no." He even says "no" to things that he wants. He truly is TWO in all it's glory! Thank goodness- he balances out the "my" and "no"s with a sincere, overwhelming gratitude. You need to know, that Please was literally the first word we taught him, but I had NO idea at the time, how valuable the word would be. People adore the kid- even with the "my/no"s because he is just happy and grateful. Almost as frequently as he says the above stated indicators of age, he produces, "Please" and the brightest, warmest most grateful "Thank you". He also has a nice, sincere "Sorry" when necessary. As a two year old, he's just learning the nicest way to say/do things. But he certainly knows how to show others love and gratitude. I am grateful. It sure makes the two year old developmental characteristics more palatable.

He is doing all he can to assert his independence while still keep his mama close at hand. Yesterday we took him to Battleship Texas. We wanted him to get on the boat- so he wanted to get off. Later, we wanted him to get off the boat- so he wanted to stay on. I LOVE IT! I get it man. :) You see, what he doesn't know is that his mama is just as determined/independent/ rebellious as him. When I watch him assert his independence, I just smile (and of course, re-direct him back). When I look back at my life, I realize that it is that fiercely independent streak that helped me to survive and to stand up and do what was right for me no matter what. (To this day, my father still spites me for that characteristic ;) When I see it in Ian, I just smile. I'm glad to know my kid's got a little "umph" to him. That "umph" will help that kid through a lot of disappointment in life. We all have to face our share of it. I'd rather my kid press forward through it and find solutions when things are tough. It's truly beautiful to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still in charge, but I don't mind the temporary difference of opinion.

They always tell you how tough it is to have a 2 year old. It's got its challenges, but I love it! I can't imagine that little boy being any more wonderful or fun!

Ian's inner voice

2007-11-03T05:20:00.000-07:00

Like most small children, Ian has no "inner voice" whatever he thinks comes out his mouth. For him this results in an endless stream of chatter that I find to be even slightly musical. I love to listen to him. It provides valuable information about what he's thinking about, what's important to him, and what he is actively trying to learn about.

Now days I hear more and more of my own voice and the voice of the adults in his world in his chatter. "Yea!", "Good job", "Hi Baby!", "No, no, no", "Oh my goodness", "Trash", "No way", "Thank you", "Excuse me", "Wifey", "Heavenly Father, Amen", "At home, at school, at play", "going to church. See momma may", "Mommy's ok?", "Going to Nini's house. See the kids" "Happy, Happy".

A well known Psychologist (erikson, I think, but I'm not sure) said that when a child is small, they don't have an inner voice. They use their outer voice to think through and understand the world, as they grow older, their outer voice shifts inward. It recently occured to me, if his outer voice echos me. So will his inner voice. That's right. The words I say. The words Dave says. The words the other adults in his world say to him will ultimately become his inner voice. The voice he will use to guide him through his life. Thus far I hear a happy kid who knows he's loved and know's how to love others and really likes trains and cars, likes church, and is really interested in Heavenly Father.

I still remember my mother's voice, "You are my pride and joy." She also believed I was smart and kind and really pretty. She reminded me to be modest, obey the word of wisdom of wisdom, and warned me against people that might try to put their hands where they don't belong. She taught me to find joy in service. Her words protected me against alot of pain in life.

It makes me realize how important it is to make sure the things I say are loving, kind, productive, and instructive. I've always believed that children become what you believe they are. Now I understand why.

My financial learning

2007-10-28T19:17:00.000-07:00

So recently (over the past 6 months), I have some to realize my own financial cluelessness. (Don't worry, obviously not in the same ball park as my father.) It's amazing. I went to school for 6 years and had only a single 45 min lecture on personal/ family finance. Back in June, we got a copy of our credit report. I was absolutely shocked. We were paying mass quantities of our income in debt, not including student loans or our home. Our payments were equal to our mortgage payment. It didn't really even know how it happened. (I have since slowly come to understand. Ironically- Most of it came out of simple ignorance and not knowing how to plan.) Fortunately, we had a copy of "Transforming Debt into Wealth" by John Cummuta. I had listened to it before, and we had made modifications accordingly, but I guess this time, we were ready. Basically, he presents a plan similar to "One for the money" that the church publishes. Only this program provides a lot more education in the process. Well, 6 months later, we have recovered much of those resources, and by April, we will have recovered the remainder. And in the process of our learning, we have discovered something amazing.... the path to financial security and freedom. I think there's some hope for us.

Even better, if we stay on target and don't loose our way, Ian will have something I don't have... Parents to are comfortable in their retirement- and can take care of his college- so he can focus on doing great things with his life.

Maybe, in the distant future, we will even be stable enough to make a real difference for my father. In the meantime, I'm satisfied with learning to manage finances myself. It's already made a huge difference.

Financial learning- my father

2007-10-28T18:52:00.001-07:00

My dad said something once that hit me. He said, "I made good money at times, I just never saved for a rainy day." It's true. He really was doing well at times, but it did him no good. He refused to learn about finances. He NEVER managed his own finances. He always delegated them to someone else and refused to learn. He has paid the price.

But the problem is, so have his children. He dropped us off at my aunts door when I was 13 and just never made it back. It was a sess pool. Both my brother and I were seriously taken advantage of. My brother far more than me. Now that my father is older, he wants those years back- both the one's when he was an absent workaholic and when he abdicated those responsibilities. Well, their gone.

Wow. I sure am venting here. There really is a point to all of this. Financial responsibility is important. Without it, a person can loose everything.

What sucks most of all, is that I know that I will be supporting that guy in his retirement years. What a huge, scarey burden it is to know that I will need to not only save for my own childrens' college and my retirement, but also for my father's in 15 years. That's right. The same jerk that hasn't supported me since I was 13. If he had his way, I would also be supporting him through his early retirement years (now.)

Honestly, it's selfish. You mismanage your finances your whole life and I get to feel bad about myself for not being able to fix your problems in the present, and get to carry your financial burden and rob from my children's security in the future. Thanks Dad.

All right, just a couple of months ago, I would have given him ample merit for his contributions to my life- giving me the gospel. But honestly, recently he has burned me deeply. Sorry for the venting session.

Financial learning- my father

2007-10-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

Over the past 6 months or so, I have spent a lot of time learning about finances. I've come to understand that I, like most people have been completely clueless on the subject. It's amazing that a person can go through 6 years of school and only have a single lecture about personal/family financial management.

I look at my father. the man has worked hard all of his life. 12 hour days. He truly is and has always been a workaholic. Yet, he still lives in abject poverty. Truly abject poverty. It's terrible. I feel bad about myself every time I go to visit him. He lives in an old broken down trailor in a row of trailors out in the middle of no where. I lived there when I was 15. There was plywood to keep us from falling through the floor, and ripped plastic to fight the cold wind from getting through the broken window. It was colder inside in the winter than outside. We had to boil water to take a bath. My step sister later became bald because of the water we were drinking.

Well, now he's moved next door, to a slightly nicer trailor, only for his situation to become far worse. He got really hurt at work several years ago. Since then, he's only been able to get spotty work - from a guy that usually doesn't pay him. He's survived only off of the church. Most of my step-mom's 5 kids, their kids, and their kids are all living there and mooching off of my mostly unemployed father. None with jobs and several doing drugs. It's a mess. It's a virtual sess pool, where everyone meets the minimum of their potential.

I have, of course, given him money from time to time to help out , but it hasn't made a lick of difference. I could hand the man 50k tomorrow (if I had it) and it still wouldn't improve their circumstances. They might pay off the trailor, but the money saved would just get sucked away by the sess pool.

Having grown up partially in that environment, I know how much they despise "rich" people (aka- even folks who are in lower middle class ranks are "rich" to them.). I know that I now qualify as "rich". I feel miserable about myself every time I think about my father.... I'm comfortable. Maybe if I shared, we would both be ok. But the truth is, it doesn't work that way. (see the previous paragraph).

Ian's Second Birthday

2007-10-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

Here's the video from Ian's birthday party.

locating the volume control

2007-09-10T17:51:00.000-07:00

Wow. Our little boy has developed quite a set of lungs. It doesn't matter if he's happy or sad, his voice volume is WAY up. He hasn't quite located his volume control knob, much less learned how to use it. He's got two volumes- loud and screaming. Our ears are about to fall into shreds. We are working diligently on it, but in the mean time- WOW! Eich. I'm sure over time and with diligent effort, this too will be managed, but the process required to get there is quite head ache inducing.

Unfortunately, if he is my child, he will still be having volume control issues at 30. We might be in for the long haul on this one. Who knows. But we love our boy. He's truly a great kid.

Houston Downtown Aquarium

2007-08-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

Houston Downtown Aquarium

One of my favorite things about having a little boy is that he forces me to get out and enjoy life. Fortunately Houston has quite lot to enjoy. We have a great downtown aquarium. They have a fully functioning coral reaf, another exhibit with fish that are twice the size of Ian, white tigers, and a whole maze full of underwater delights. They have this great train ride to see the sharks. Ian didn't care about the sharks so much (he was pretty disappointed when the train stopped so that the passengers could see them), but he sure loved that train!

Dave and I laughed. It was just a dumb train. The adult me would have laughed at the cheesy little thing. But for Ian, that 5 minute train ride was the most exciting thing in the world. Life really is more fun with a munchkin to enjoy it with.

Bayou Wildlife Park

2007-08-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

We've got a great wildlife park here. The animals are just free to roam about. They've got quite a selection.

Ian Christmas 2006

2007-08-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

Some New Videos

2007-08-12T18:49:00.001-07:00

Well, with the advent of iLife '08, I've finally gotten around to encoding some of our home videos. The first two are actually from the same time, shortly before Christmas last year. Ian loved to just sit in the middle of the train track and watch it go around. When he was finished, he decided he needed a bit of a wrestle.

The last video is of him walking shortly after learning how. It was like a new art for the little guy, it's all he wanted to do.

In the next couple of days I'll post the video from Christmas morning. Cheers!

Boat Ride

2007-07-15T19:21:00.001-07:00

Ian loves any and all conveyances. We regularly make trips to NASA to look at the rockets. His favorite toys are his cars, trucks, & trains. A few weeks ago we went to Galveston and rented a boat for a couple of hours. Ian absolutely loved it. We all had a lot of fun. Clickie for biggie.

Ian Talking

2007-07-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

Ian talks a lot. He clearly talks a lot more than most kids his age. In the nursery, he's the youngest child, but he's also by far the most vocal.

It's a bit frustrating because he's one of the best behaved kids I know, but you couldn't tell from Sacrament Meeting. We have to remind ourselves that most kids his age aren't talking much, and the older ones that do talk seem to have learned a bit more control. Even so, it's a bit embarrassing when the sacrament starts and your little boy is yelling, "Bread, bread! Found bread!"

iPhone

2007-06-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well. I feel like I'm becoming a part of technological history. I am officially the 11th person in the iPhone line. I hate to say it, but it's kinda fun. Dave's been here since 8am. It's now 11:30. I figured he needed a break so I came to relieve him. He's been excited about this since the day they announced the thing (literally- he kept me up for forever to watch the video.) He's so excited. It's like Christmas. Only better for him.

For the record, the ONLY reason that Dave is getting one is because he programs for PDAs for his job. He writes this scheduling software, it sends techs out in the field their schedule and allows them to complete their transactions (like the UPS guys, only it does a LOT more), then it syncs with QuickBooks. Anyway, It's his job to be an innovator. Already 6 months ago, people were asking if he could program for the iPhone. They will be asking for it within no time, so Dave's gotta get it and get going.

But, I dunno. I'm certainly not a techno-geek (just a speech geek), but it is fun to be part of history.

Prancing about the nation

2007-05-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

Wow. So my Dave has become quite the traveler in recent months. Since the beginning of Feb he has been to Utah, New York City, Dallas (x2), Utah, Dallas, Las Vegas, and now Denver. He'll be back again this evening. It's good. We miss him. He's doing well. The trips are hard on him. He loves his family and really just wants to be home. But we are grateful because the traveling is a sign that things are going well with his work. He works hard and does incredible work, I'm always grateful when others realize it too.

Out and about

2007-05-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

Our little one has reached toddlerhood in full bloom. He has an agenda of his own and that agenda involves Outside (or "side", as he calls it- his word for both outside and inside) and "car". It's really a lot of fun! Now days he doesn't nap until 1:30, so we have a pretty decent chunk of time to take him out and about. He loves to go to the zoo, the park, Space Center Houston, and The Downtown Aquarium, the library, yoga, the children's museum and anywhere else that involves "side" or "car" (but not too long in the car). We can't wait for the towne's pool to open in another week or so.

We have the greatest backyard ever! Ok, so it's really nothing fancy, just an old deck with a muddy patch along the fence. But our house is somewhat older (1985 ish). We have the most wonderful trees in our back yard. They lightly sprinkle shade across the yard, creating this breezy back yard haven. Their shade is perfect, so as to protect the grass from the fierce Texas sun, but not kill the grass due to lack of light. As a result the grass is full and green with only minimal effort. I have even ventured, ever-so-slightly into gardening, planting 6-7 potted plants worth of petunias and other inexpensive flowers (I figure, if I kill them, then at least I'm only down $20 total.) The weather has been perfect (for the most part) for a month or two now. I'm loving it. Ian loves to be out there and so do I!

I am an outside girl. I LIVE to be outside in nature. Dave, however, is much more of a home-body/ movie buff. However, Dave clearly realizes Ian's need to get out in nature, prompting Dave to take us all out for the fun. I've been dying to go out and pick fruit. (Any kind of fruit would do) for a while now, but have been waiting for the fruit harvest and our schedule to collide. The two finally decided to cooperate last weekend. We took Ian out strawbery and peach picking. We had the best time! Ian knew JUST what to do. The strawberry plants were just the right height for him to see under the plants and find all of the yummy strawberries. The lowest branches of the peach trees were the perfect height as well, just a little reach for him. He had a great time and so did we. My Dad and step-mom Linda met us out there. It was great to spend time with them. They seemed to really enjoy the picking and watching Ian run about.

My little bird

2007-05-18T13:53:00.000-07:00

Every morning I wake up to the sweetest little bird in my baby monitor. First the I hear an almost imperceptible attempt at a whine. As if to say, "awe-no. It's morning, but I'm still tired." Then silence as the little one resumes his almost sleeping position (butt up in the air). Then another stir and whine, this time a little stronger a few minutes later, "But I don't wanta wake up". Then the tiny creature crosses over into a still reluctant, but more awake state, talking to himself, still laying there, enjoying his last moments of rest. Followed by a joyful oration celebrating each of his favorite words. "Papa, Mama, Cars, train, kix." or whatever words he's practicing that day.

I find myself laying in my own comfortable nest, echoing the exact same message. First, "Awe. no. It's morning, but I'm still tired. Maybe he'll sleep for a few more minutes. " Then, "Ahh. My little boy's waking up. But I don't want to wake up." Then, "Ahhh. He's singing again. I'd better get up." Then, "What a cute little boy." What's hard to explain is the almost chemical/ emotional reaction I feel in response to the little one's chirp. Many times, I'm still exhausted when I hear his call (and lots of times, Dave answers it for me), but what a joyful noise to wake up to each morning! How delightful to have such a wonderful little boy wandering about all over our home and our lives.