FR33DOM

Of Days Gone Past

2007-01-10T14:55:00.000+08:00

The luxury of time
Gives luxury of thought
To remember days
we have forgot

Reflections on Thai mission trip Dec 2006

2007-01-05T14:45:00.000+08:00

Pre-trip: Felt a sense of spiritual dryness because of some wrong choices I made. A sense of inadequacy too.

During trip:
Felt more comfortable and myself this year with my team as compared to last year. Last year I was kind of acting up a bit, to get attention and stuff. God dealt with my fear of rejection then. This year, God taught me lessons on faith and love.

On faith:
I realised on the morning I was leaving for the Land of Smiles that my passport expiry date was less than 6 months away from my date of departure. Immediately, I realised this was God’s first test of faith for me. I prayed very hard and just believed that God will take care of things. He did! Praise God.

Once again, I learned that constant prayer is very important. Thank God that even though there were hiccups here and there in our mime, the main message was carried across.

Pastor Wirat encouraged me a lot with his persevering faith amidst trials in building the church in Song Dao. Though he feels discouraged at times, I believe this will continue to teach him to depend on God all the time.

On love:
Really thank God for 5 wonderful, amazing brothers and sisters in Christ. And I find it fit to share with you guys how each one of you taught me to love God and others.

Katherine – Thank you for speaking the truth in love. Your calm and measured manner of speaking helps bring calm into conversations. I remember how you helped handle the small conflict crisis in the hotel room on the last night. And at age 26, I mean 36, I forget, your youthfulness also shines through in your hilarious guffaws and gung ho-ness, i.e carrying so many bags at the airport. It felt really good to hear your encouragement that I have matured from last year. Thank you very much. Even though I feel our personalities are quite different, you being the no nonsense teacher and I being the trigger-happy, sometimes unconventional young dude, I thank God that despite some tension I felt with you even till the last days of the trip, He has worked out our differences and helped us focus on our similarity, that we are brother and sister in Christ. I really want to honour you for your maturity and wisdom. My prayer for you is that as you step into ETC next year, God will mould you into a woman after His own heart, abiding in his word at all times, in all circumstances.

Rui Hao – I may call you uncle at times, but it’s not because you are old, but because you’re like my spiritual uncle. You’ve really been a blessing to me with your idiosyncrasies and words of wisdom and advice. I liked what you said when I asked you what book should I read, and you said the bible. How true indeed! Your gentleness and humility really shines through and I praise God for giving you such a broken and contrite spirit. In you I can really see love in action, sweeping the floor almost every morning while I snoozed away. Not just that, I also admire your effective handling of tasks (i.e ability to see the big picture) and tact in speaking to the team. I feel you really model servant leadership. Thanks brother and uncle, for all of these. I will continue to pray for you against distraction, distress, depression and destruction from the evil one, as well as for the salvation and discipleship of your parents and grandmother.

Shawna – In you I can see a heart that truly desires to please the Lord. And I am very encouraged by that. Your faithful service behind the scenes I have observed and I would like to honour you for your sincerity and humility in service, not asking for anything in return. That’s the spirit I feel in you. The spirit to honour the Lord, love Him and love the body of Christ. On a lighter note, your bullet train pace of speaking really cracks me up sometimes, especially when you answer your own questions. And your ‘bai pose’ somehow will always stick as your caption for me. Thank you for acting so convincingly with me, even though it may have been disturbing for you to keep looking at my ji gou pek face during the mime times. My verse of encouragement to you is Galations 5:22-23. I am encouraged by your effort to reach out to the Thai people by talking to them and praying for them. I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to ripen His fruit in your live and that you will be matured and complete, not lacking anything.

Ruby – First things first. Thank you for putting up with my goofy antics in and out of the mime. I know sometimes I pushed things too far, so sorry about that. I was really blessed by the worship you led during devotion. Loved the song you chose: I Thank You Lord, because it’s about going through trials and tribulations I am encouraged by how you value relationships and how you reached out to the Thai people in words, smiles and prayer with Shawna. Just seeing you interact so warmly with the lady at the place I met joy brought warmth into my heart. I pray that God will continue to do His work in you to draw you into a relationship so intimate with Him that it casts out all fear. And may the joy of the Lord always be your strength.

Yong Liang – Hey brother. I just want to say you especially have taught me a lesson in humility and servanthood. I just kept wondering throughout the trip: man, this guy is so others centred. I want to learn from him. It’s those little questions you ask and things you do that impacted me. The spirit with which you speak is full of meekness. And I want to say you’re not far from inheriting the earth as Jesus said of the meek. And that moment of forgiveness during Ruby’s worship time just blessed my heart because it was a time of true love. Really hope to get to know you better man.

And now to all of you: Thank you so much for teaching me the spirit of true love, a lesson which prior to this trip I knew more in my head and struggled to practice in my heart. I think now I am able to love more from my heart than my head, and more of actions rather than just words. I am convinced that this love among the body is a major key to opening the hearts of many to Christ. As the bible says in John 13:35: ‘Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.’

Post trip
As usual, it was so easy to slip back into old bad habits after coming down from such a high spiritual altitude. I realised that on the trip it was so easy to focus on God because He was our agenda. Also, there were hardly any distractions. Back here in Singapore, the intensity of missions immediately dissipates because there are so many other distractions, events, thoughts, people thrown in my face that threaten to take away this missions mindset. I pray that God will help me to live each day with the purpose of getting to know Christ and to make Him known. I desire to live each day seeking God for divine appointments for me to share the gospel fearlessly as I should, just like we did as a group in Thailand. Coming back also poses the challenge of standing firm without the physically present support of a mission team. It really challenges me in the area of letting God’s word be the ultimate anchor and not peer support. Yet at the same time, it highlights to me the importance of surrounding myself with good godly friends and not to be an isolated individual.

Attending dawn prayer has been awesome. It reminds me to put God first at the start of the day. During the dawn prayer week, He gave me one word for this year : faith. Indeed, I will definitely need to build up my faith in Him during the army, where all of us know it is so easy to slip away from God. I will definitely need all the prayers to counter the schemes of the devil. Also, before the trip, I had vision concerning how God will use me to point people to Him in the army. In the vision, I saw myself standing in the middle of an MRT platform with a few others. We were dressed in army uniform. As other army men were coming up the escalator, we were pointing them to the MRT train on one side. Some were persuaded by us, but there were others who went to the other side of the platform. God impressed upon me that He will use me and other Christian brothers to point people in the right direction, to Him, Even though not all will listen, I must carry out my duty as His soldier. So prayers are also needed in the area of evangelism in the army, that God will help us to spread the gospel accurately, sensitively and boldly.

I really hope to finish 2007 well, growing in the area of endurance and doing everything with zest unto the Lord. To God be the eternal glory, he who was, is and is to come!

Trained through Trials

2006-12-30T13:38:00.000+08:00

Thank You Lord for the trials that come my way
in that way I can grow each day as I let You lead
and thank you lord for the patience those trials bring
in the process of growing i can learn to care

chorus
but it goes against the way i am to put my human nature down
and let the spirit take control of all i do
cause when those trials come
my human nature
shouts the things to do
and god's soft prompting
can be easily ignored

i thank you lord with each trial i feel inside
that your're there to help lead and guide
me away from wrong
cause you promised lord
that with ev'ry testing
that your way of escaping is easier to bear

chorus

i thank you lord for the vict'ry that growing brings
in surrender of ev'rything life is so worthwhile
and i thank you lord that when ev'rthing's put in place
out in front i can see your face and it's there you belong

Being conscious of God throughout the day 10/12/06

2006-12-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 9.05am today
Sermon was on the meaning of Christmas to me:
1. Releasing your fears
2. Returning to God
3. Receving His forgivness
Pastor Tony preached. His repeated alot of words. I prayed that God would help him to deliver his message with more power and more of the anointing of the Holy Spirit. All the same, the substance was there. Indeed, as he said, forgiveneness is the greatest need of man. If man's greatest need was money, God would have sent an economist. But He sent a Saviour, to forgive and restore man to Him. I have to release my fears to God. Surrendur them to Him. My fear of stepping into adulthood, how others perceive me. Not anthropocentric but theocentric. I raised my hands when Pastor Tony called for people to return to God. At first, I felt that I was quite close to God and this call was more for people who have strayed far from God. But suddenly I was hit with the thought that I have to return to God daily, because everytime I sin, I move further away from Him. It is so easy to sin, that's obvious. After second service, I went with mum to Bukit Panjang Plaza to have lunch and cut my hair. Met Siyi and family there. They shared about their Japan trip. They went to Disneyland and Mount Fuji inter alia. The exchange rate of the Japanese Yen is 1Yen = S$1.35. Goods there are very much more expensive than in Singapore. Pastor Tony told a joke about Singapore being a 'sin' city. When tourists pick up their luggage at the Singapore airport, the first word they encounter on their luggage tags is SIN. Haha. My hair now is nice. Comfortable. Very soon it will be even more comfortable and cooling up there. Went back to church at 2 for missions sharing and praying. It was good. Prayed for the Sukop, Thai and East Timor and team that just came back and the Bintan and second Thai team (my team) that are leaving soon. Overall, God was faithful and gracious to the teams that just came back. Yi Ren's team mangaged to get their ferry tickets at the last minute. God's grace. Prayed for Siang Hon, his family and friends who are in North West China that they will be able to balance sharing the Gospel and taking care of their security by not being too overt. I thank God for sending Siang Hon into Kazakhstan and I pray that God will continue to open doors for the gospel to made known to the people there. After the meeting, which ended about 4.30, Yi Ren and I made our way to West Mall to catch 'Casino Royale'. Before that, I taught him quadratic equations A maths. Could'nt do one of his questions myself. Anyway, Dad just showed me how to do it. When I do maths, I must have confidence that I am not making any careless mistake and after checking for that once, I should move on to try other methods. So that I won't waste time. 'Casino Royale' was smart, occasionally interspersed with witty one liners. I closed my eyes at the sex scenes. After watching the show though, it made me realise that people love Bond because he represents brains and brauns, ideal attributes that help make one successful in this world. I admit that I couldn't catch all the plot machinations because I was not mentally fast enough. Eerily, the show immediately affected my conversations with Yi Ren after the 2 hour 30 minutes or so thriller. Our conversation tended to be more cryptic, trying to guess the intention and hidden meanings of what the other was saying. At least on my part. Felt unnatural and egoistic. People desire to outsmart one another, even in conversations, by using shared experiences or facts about the other person when talking to show their ability to connect the past and present, and hence imply their intellectual aptititude. Sigh. I just want to surrendur to God all these things, and as 1 Timothy says to love Him with a pure heart, clear conscience and sincere faith. No trying to do things to please the self but to glorify Him, and Him alone. What is life on earth compared to eternity after all? Came back home quite late and paoed my jiao. Read about the 6th victim in Singapore of sudden death. Jasmine says it's supernatural. Who knows. The end time is here. God will come like a thief in the night. Must be prepared all the time, surrenduring my life to Him daily. It is 12.26 right now. Going to watch a bit of chelsea-arsenal match. Tomorrow gym with Yi Ren at 10am.

Oh today I did day 11 of Purpose Driven Life: Becoming Best Friends with God. Constant conversation with God and meditation upon His words is what I want. Haven't finished reading 'A Potrait of the Artist as a Young Man' yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Rating for today: 4 stars.

HOLIDAY SCHEDULE!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-30T12:11:00.000+08:00

1-8: China trip. Read books on bus. Play with Kai Kai. Journal. Buy christmas presents for people. (Mr Lee Wei Qi Set)
9-15: RSAF talk, Watch movie with Yi Ren, Go out with Jac, Run, Swim, Gym, Read books,
16-24: Thai Trip
25 Dec-12 Jan: Run, Swim, Gym. Christmas carolling, Spend time with family, Go out with friends.

Hidden with Christ

2006-11-27T11:34:00.000+08:00

'Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God's right hand in the place of honour and power. Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth. For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.' (Colossians 3:1-4)

I am dead.

Fearful animosties, self-expectations, prideful striving, desire to be well-liked to boost my ego, greed, lust, laziness - all dead.

It's all about Him.

Clothe me with your power from on high that I may do all things, in posture and purpose, for your Glory.

Amen

Let There Be Light

2006-11-25T22:27:00.000+08:00

Tonight the moon was smiling at me and the rest of the people in Singapore; a flourescent glow of white shine, twinkling in the dark, dark sky.

The moon and the sun - such faithful givers of light. No matter how the earth moves, or how many clouds cover the sky, they will always be there for us, faithfully helping us to see this wonderful world God created for we.

And God said, 'Let bright lights appear in the sky to separate the day from the night. They wears will be signs to mark off the seasons, the days, and the years. Let their light shine down upon the earth.' And so it was. For God made two great lights, the sun and the moon, to shine down upon the earth. The greater one, the sun, presides during the day; the lesser one, the moon, presides through the night. He also made the stars. God set those lights in the heavens to light the earth, to govern the day and night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. This all happened on the fourth day. (Genesis 1:14-19)

When I think about the heavens,
the moon and all the stars,
I wonder what you ever saw in me.
But you took me and you loved me ,
And you've given me a smile,
And now I praise your name eternally.

I smile back at the moon. Thank you for the sun, moon and stars oh Lord. Not only do they mark off the seasons, they remind me of the reasons why I love you. You are the light that shines into my darkness. You are the fire that warms my cold heart. You are the faithful one who governs all the days of my life.

(A few seconds back, I looked out into the sky and found that the moon had vanished. It's ok. It will be back again tomorrow, with a smile).

I want to be the lamp on the lampstand. I want to be the lampost under the moon. I want to reflect your glory.

Dear God,
You are faithful; you bring the morning light and raise the moon at night everyday; you take my sins away; you fill me with joy and peace in your prescence; my future is safely secured in your hands; you will never leave me nor forsake me, even though I do sometimes. My lamp may fuse, but your light continues to shine, and relights my lamp each time. Brighter and brighter, deeper and deeper, I want to grow in You. I find no other thing a worthy substitute for you. Only you bring meaning and purpose, and after that life, to the empty soul that craves for alms of light. Though my life on earth has only spanned some 18 years, and experience I do not have much; I know in my spirit, beyond human reasoning, HOW GREAT THOU ART. And through these words typed out to be preserved, may you receive this love that you have deposited in me.

From your child that cries with joy,
I believe

Proverbs on the Wrong Way to Speak

2006-11-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

Here are six things God hates, and one more that he loathes with a passion: eyes that are arrogant, a tongue that lies, hands that murder the innocent, a heart that hatches evil plots, feet that race down a wicked track, a mouth that lies under oath, a troublemaker in the family. (6:16-19)
The loose tongue of the godless spreads destruction; the common sense of the godly preserves them. (11:9)
Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense. A gadabout gossip can't be trusted with a secret, but someone of integrity won't violate a confidence. (11:12-13)
Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise. (12:18)
Careful words make for a careful life; careless talk may ruin everything. (13:3)
Mean people spread mean gossip; their words smart and burn. Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships. (16:27-28)
Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly? (18:8)
Answering before listening is both stupid and rude. (18:13)
Smooth talk from an evil heart is like glaze on cracked pottery. Your enemy shakes hands and greets you like an old friend, all the while conniving against you.When he speaks warmly to you, don't believe him for a minute; he's just waiting for the chance to rip you off.No matter how cunningly he conceals his malice, eventually his evil will be exposed in public. Malice backfires; spite boomerangs. Liars hate their victims; flatterers sabotage trust. (26:23-28)
A flattering neighbor is up to no good; he's probably planning to take advantage of you. (29:5)

Courtesy of the Message and Biblegatway.com

Ha ha he!

2006-11-23T13:47:00.000+08:00

I like how the way
When I smile at you
Your face jumps into alert
Wondering what I’m smiling at
Slightly unnerved by my spirit
A harmless smile
Evokes yet another
As our faces speak to each other

I like how you give me that quizzical smile
A smile half-ripe on your face
Waiting till I give you a reason
For the bemused smile on my face
Oh that taste of joy
That unspoken connection
Oh how lovely to feel that indeed
When words and thoughts fail to convey
The true emotions within

Wordsworth

2006-11-23T12:03:00.000+08:00

My friend
What can taste as sweet as honey
Straight from the honeycomb?
What can make you warm and fuzzy
To break the bitter spell of cold?
Or what can make you stand in awe
And shed a mirthful tear?
What can force a smile
Even from the saddest child?

Words my friend
Words are what they are

But what can cause
Big firms to fold
Stike heart with fear
Blood to spill all over the place
Angry brawls
Darkened face?

Words
That’s what they are

Yet what can wound a heart yet heal
Bring the sunshine after rain
Perhaps a rainbow too?
Or what can taste like bitter herbs
But cause the hottest heart to cool?
What can prune a sickly tree
Yet let fresh new leaves grow free?

Words my friend
Yes, words are what they are.

Proverbs on the Right Way to Speak

2006-11-23T11:01:00.000+08:00

Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up. (12:25)
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. (15:1)
Congenial conversation—what a pleasure! The right word at the right time—beautiful! (15:23)
Prayerful answers come from God-loyal people; the wicked are sewers of abuse. (15:28)
Good leaders cultivate honest speech; they love advisors who tell them the truth. (16:13)
They make a lot of sense, these wise folks; whenever they speak, their reputation increases. Gracious speech is like clover honey— good taste to the soul, quick energy for the body. (16:23-24)
The one who knows much says little; an understanding person remains calm. Even dunces who keep quiet are thought to be wise; as long as they keep their mouths shut, they're smart. (17:27-28)
The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry,And a wise friend's timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger. (25:12)
Patient persistence pierces through indifference; gentle speech breaks down rigid defenses.
(25:15)
A spoken reprimand is better than approval that's never expressed. 6 The wounds from a lover are worth it; kisses from an enemy do you in. (27:5-6)
In the end, serious reprimand is appreciated far more than bootlicking flattery. (28:23)

Courtesy of The Message

Aphorism

2006-11-22T12:46:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we mean more than what we say when we say more than what we mean.

Proverbs on the importance of words

2006-11-21T09:19:00.001+08:00

The mouth of a good person is a deep, life-giving well, but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse.(10:11)
The speech of a good person is worth waiting for; the blabber of the wicked is worthless. (10:20)
Well-spoken words bring satisfaction; well-done work has its own reward. (12:14)
Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim. (15:4)
A quiet rebuke to a person of good sense does more than a whack on the head of a fool. (17:10)
Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose (18:21)
The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry (25:11)

From The Message

Proverbs on foolishness

2006-11-20T12:42:00.000+08:00

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. (1:7)
The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. (10:8)
The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. (12:15-16)
A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly. (12:23)
The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception. Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. (14:8-9)
A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless. (14:16)
The wealth of the wise is their crown, but the folly of fools yields folly. (14:24)
The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. (15:14)
A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a fool. (17:10)
Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool in his folly. (17:12)
Of what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no desire to get wisdom? (17:16)
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. (18:2)
A fool’s lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating. (18:6)
It is to a man’s honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (20:3)
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fools repeats his folly. (26:11)
Though you grind a fool in a mortar, grinding him like grain with a pestle, you will not remove his folly from him. (27:22)
He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe. (28:26)
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (29:11)

From the New International Version

2006-11-17T02:08:00.000+08:00

Two times today I erased my words away

I see what you say

2006-11-17T01:37:00.000+08:00

I met a friend today
He had quite alot to say
I listened quite impatiently
He was going so slowly

'But you must understand'
He said, before he rattled on
I pricked my ears up still
to understand and feel

The light was resting on his skin
like morning cold mildew
I understand I feel-
the voice like clinical steel

The mouth made all kinds of Os
long, thin even diagonal
'The truth is that', go on -
The eyes are thinly oval

You clasp your hands
finish your last sentence-
I lift my brows slowly
A pause and then I say
"I see what you are saying"

An Honest Opinion

2006-11-17T01:31:00.000+08:00

Is this what they call it -
Sinister duplicity?
The lying tongue
Contorted face
A prevaricating trace?

Like a piece of abstract art
You frame a picture for me to see
let him derive the meaning
that cuts carefully

I ate the fruit from the poison tree
Now I think I see clearly
Way too clearly

The weight of this sad time we must obey
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.

And here we go again....

2006-11-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

I have decided to start blogging again... though no one knows yet! Shhh....
Looking back on past entries, I'm glad to feel the same old me. Nothing's changed much; I'm still that trigger happy, peacefully pious boy. Yes, I am a boy, not yet a man. I wonder if things would change after army. Been facing lots of paper the past few weeks, and writing my name and index number countless times.

I wonder what others think about most of the time. I certainly would like to borrow some thoughts. The mind feels dull and numb when you're not thinking; your eyes seem to have relocated themselves in your cranium. The brain... how wonderful to grasp its mechanism! How mysterious to explore a thought with a thought. How desirous to manipulate the mind. My mind. I'm not that evil. Are we but a sum of neuroconnections, living at the mercy of cognitive knots being tied and loosened? As I type this right now, what is going on in my mind? This was: why am I writing all this? Microsoft has spellcheck, I think our brains have thoughtchecks. Right now, my mind is checking what I right now in terms of making sure my writing is elegant. Is this written right? It continually asks.

The subconscious mind must be brought into realm of consciousness. Important information and clues to our past are trapped there. Facts from my history texts are wrapped neatly in my subconscious compartment. How I wish to squeeze them out. But they're buried so deep and I wonder if they are even packed neatly together. They are probably mixed with random thoughts like 'Shit! I can't remember this! I'm going to be so screwed for tomorrow's exam!' which as I have just shown, is a thought that exists in my conscious mind too.

Let me try squeezing out some information from the infinite depths of my mind. Here I go:
Political History of SEA: Why Siam retained it's independence: King Mongkut and Chulalongkorn's economic concessions given to Western imperialists - Bowring Treaty - ensure equal trade opportunities to different Western imperialists - Buffer between British Burma and French Indochina - good treatment of merchants - not forced to fall prostrate before king -

ok... that's about all I can squeeze out from my memory. The rest are stored deep inside my subconscious mind. Dang. There must be a better way to memorize things. I hope pmemory will help.

A letter to memory:
Dear memory,
why are you always so unaccesible? I keep trying to contact you, but you don't reply very often. And when you do, your replies are always short and made up of disjointed words. Sometimes I can't even decipher what you're trying to say. I press you for answers, but you're always prevaricating, giving me instead bits and pieces of irrelavant information. I really wish you could be with me 24/7. Though I don't see you often, I'll always remember you, if you'll allow me to.

Yours sincerely,
your present mind

Ahh... there are so many things I want to remember... clearly. My careless childhood, primary school experiences, and more presently pertinent, my SEAsian history texts.

I'm thankful that this entry is safe. I hope memory scrutinizes this well...

tata

England photos

2005-07-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

hey peeps
for those who wanna see my england pictures go to www.snapfish.com
Username: foodball@gmail.com
password: drewkoh

THANK YOU LORD

2005-07-07T19:08:00.000+08:00

Thank you Lord for helping me do better than i expected for my econs and maths block test!
Thank you Lord for opening the heart of my friend to want to seek after you!
Thank you Lord for drawing me nearer to you through his 40 day fast!
Thank you Lord for blessing me with good and godly friends in school and in church!
Thank you Lord for blessing me with a comfortable home to live in, delicious home-cooked food to eat and water to drink!
Thank you Lord for letting me live in safe and sunny Singapore!
Thank you Lord for dying upon the cross!
Thank you Lord for wonderful music that fills my ears!
Thank you Lord for my chrisitian band!
Thank you Lord for my teachers!
Thank you Lord for letting me study in Hwa Chong Humanities scheme!
Thank you Lord for the peace and joy that you have deposited into my heart.
Thank you Lord for my WONDERFUL family!
Thank you Lord for good health and for blessing me with the interest and skill in sports!

Thank you Lord for giving me so many things to be thankful for!

I am contented

2005-06-28T13:56:00.000+08:00

i am contented cos' your grace set me free
removed the shackles of my misery
i am contented cos' you're everything i need
i live by the laws of your Holy Creed

i could ask for more i could strive to achieve
secular satisfactions i perceive
but all i have i count but loss
for the sake of the way of the cross

he who gives up the temporal is wise indeed
for the unperishable eternal seed
so i choose to pick up my cross daily
follow the footsteps of the Lord Almighty

Give up that penny give up your greed
it is better to lose your life than your soul forfeit
For what lies ahead is a glorious place
where happy peace sees no end of days

Until then i will fight the good fight
run my best to win The Race
When trials and tribulations threaten to bite
i will press on the narrow path towards eternal grace

Let this be my prayer.

Jesus is so cool and witty

2005-06-15T17:35:00.000+08:00

What do you do when you don't know where to start reading from the Bible? What better than to begin with Jesus' words? This week I am revisiting the gospel of Mark, and boy was it interesting. If reading it alone is interesting, I'm sure Jesus' disciples' experience was unfathomable, surreal even. Seeing Jesus healing the lame, deaf and mute, raising the dead, busting demons out of the possessed and telling profound parables, the scenario of that time definitely far surpasses any action packed movie of today. I can just imagine how fresh the air of anticipation of meeting Jesus was, the hope the Hero injected into the peoples lives, the sense of purpose instilled into lost and wandering souls. Jesus was an icon and people were thronging the streets just to catch a glimpse of his face and touch even the end of his cloak so that they may be healed. What a breath-taking sight that would have been.
Many things which I did not understand before in the gospel, now I do by the discerning spirit of God. And I'm more than eager to learn more and more from God's word. God forbid that I should ever lose the hunger for his Word.

A Lamp on a Stand
"He said to them, "do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed? Instead, don't you put it on its stand? For whatever is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear."

"Consider carefully what you hear," he continued. "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you - and even more. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."" - Mark 4:21-25

I have always been wondering whether both parts of this portion of the gospel were connected. Now I know they do, because of the phrase 'he continued' and because Jesus said "If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear." and then continued by saying "Consider carefully what you hear". So they must be connected for Jesus uses the same word twice in to adjacent sentences, showing the link between both parts.
Jesus was presenting a rhetoric question when he gave the parable of the lamp, conveying the message that those who give their heart, gifts and talents to God will not be afraid to put their lives 'on a stand' for all to see. But whatever sin there is in our lives should be disclosed and brought out into the open so that we will not be afraid to present our lives wholly to God and men, and serve our purpose as the light that shines in the darkness. This is a message of repentance and confession. And then Jesus continues "With the measure you use, it will be measured to you - and even more. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him." I believe Jesus is talking about our God-given GIFTS (God Invites Followers To Serve). I praise God for he just revealed that acronymn to me. Therefore the message is plain. With the measure of gifts you use to serve God, God will multiply your gifts. Whoever has the faith to use his gifts for God will be given more faith to believe, and whoever does not have faith to use his gifts for God's purposes, even what he has left of his spiritual life will be taken from him. This is a message of giving to God.

ENGLAND!

2005-06-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

The day i left for england, Mum and Dad were constantly reminding me to be careful and alert and blah blah blah all the way up to changi airport. Vexed by they're wearisome words at first, I now truly appreciate their sound advice for it has trained me to be very vigilant indeed (ma and pa, im now ultra super conscious that my bag, wallet and handphone are ALWAYS with me). On the plane, I made a pen-pal! A Welsh called Tim Howe, and he's a farmer! How cool is that! I always wanted to know what a farmer's life is like. So it was good to feel that my england trip was starting out nice.
So far I have gone to London, Bath and Coventry. London was the most eventful. LONDON- The sense of adventure was overwhelming. Getting lost in itself was fun. haha. My sis and I went to Hyde park (played some soccer there), the British Museum (boringly British), the Natural Museum (to fill the void the British musuem left me with - DINOSAURS! LIFE SIZE MOVING TREX!), London Dungeon (not for the faint of heart, really), Tate Modern (modern art musuem, interesting subversive content - there was this very disturbing film of human beings which underlines that 'We are deranged') and finally the Globe Theatre where we watched Winter's Tale - A comical play that tells of a paranoid king, who fears that his wife is adulterous- I must say it was interesting enough to keep me standing for 3 hours.
In Bath, my primitive soccer instincts shaped the experience there, for after having tea at sally lunn's (incidentally the oldest house in bath) and trying out the unforgettably tasty sally lunn's bun, upon passing by a lush green field which was bustling with sporting activities of which soccer was amongst them, I couldn't help but join in the euphorious party. I kicked footy for the entire duration allowed us. One thing I learnt is that sports (soccer actually) is the greatest unifier of people. Actually, Jesus is the greatest unifier.
COVENTRY- so far so good, played someore soccer with jie's friends. and going to play tennis today with her friends again. I must beat daphne. haha.
Something just hit me. Next time if I got girlfriend, I must bring her to London Dungeon. heheh. Then can be her protector.
And another thing I observed is that British toilets mostly have two doors before you can actually enter the toilet. I guess it's to prevent people from accidentally stepping inside the toilet of the opposite sex. haha.
To all my friends and family in singapore, I'm bringing back some goodies for ya! Must say this then you will miss me rite? haha

An abject lesson on perseverance

2005-06-02T01:55:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning at 8 and after da bianing and reading the newspapers, decided to go for a run. I left the house at 8.30, and on my way out passed by the baby girl who would always turn her head away from me. Wonder why. Anyway, I digress. I'm supposed to be talking about peserverance. I jogged continuously at a steady pace all the way to Bukit Batok Nature Reserve, spent some time there praying, and then decided to take a leisure walk out of the reserve. To all the runners out there, you should know that the hardest part in running is getting yourself to run again after you've switched back to walking mode. haha! It was no exception for me! So I just kept walking and even though my flesh was capable of running, my mind was weak. Although my walk was interspersed with short burst of strides, It was way out of my ideal jogging routine. Finally, after one last effort at striding, I bui tahan and sat down at a bus stop. It just so happened that there was a kind looking uncle at the bus stop too and guess wat?! The mind-was-weak me decided to borrow 55 cents from him to take a bus back home! The kind looking uncle was naturally generous. So I boarded the bus 170 all the while thinking about the glass of ice water waiting for me at home. Maybe I was too lost in my thoughts for when I pressed the bell, I realised I had overshot my stop by two stops! Argh. So then began the long and arduous journey back home. I eventually made it back home at 9.30 after picking up my pace at the last part, which just so happened to consist of vertically-inclined slopes.

Ok. I'm sure you get the lesson of perseverance on a physical perspective. But sp-li-tually (as pastor Edmund likes to pronounce), this morning walk-a-jog has taught me a thing or two about my own christian walk. When I try to take the easy way out by not going down the road of suffering, which is part and parcel of the christian life, it takes me further away from God rather than nearer to Him, and the journey back to intimacy with God would be more difficult. So it definitely pays to persevere whenever I feel that my faith is not helping me, when the world's not all as it should be, when I feel left out because I don't gossip, when I have to respect and submit my ah pa no matter how irritated I get with him. For at the end of the road is a reward far greater and more glorious than anything you can imagine here on earth. So I sing:

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Where there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

FR33DOM

2005-05-31T13:45:00.000+08:00

Since the title of my blog is FR33DOM, I thought I might as well explain what this freedom is to me. Talk about freedom and the first thing that pops into my mind is a picture of charged up protesters parading the streets with banners that read "We Want Freedom!". Also, a simulacra of the American President giving his speech on the four freedoms is conjoured in my mind.
But to me, personally and most importantly, true freedom is one that is in Christ Jesus, where freedom is not merely defined by worldly circumstances, but that which transcends the mind, soul and spirit - one that gives you inner peace. This freedom has been purchased by the blood of Christ who died upon the cross for our sins. Truly, it is a freedom that has been granted, not a freedom that can be sought by myself. Thank you God for this privilege you have given to me. Indeed, I can I have all the riches in the world and access to many luxurious places at the snap of my fingers and yet I know I do not have true freedom. For what I gain on earth is merely temporary and will be lost at death. True freedom defies physical death and extends into spiritual existence. It is better to feed the soul than to feed the stomache. Indeed, God's word has it well said, "What benefit will it be to you if you gain the whole world, but lose your sould?" I say none. It is better to place my bet on eternity rather than on the temporal.
Secondly, I talk about the freedom of choice. It can be a very powerful tool to us and at the very same time can lead us on the road to peredition. I just read a speech by the ex CEO of Hewlett Packard, the woman who stepped down publicly not too long ago, and boy did she deliver it in an inspirational style. One of her well put quotes reads " What you are is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God." And in a way I feel that this quote neatly sums up the two freedoms I point out - freedom in christ and your freedom of choice. Since God has given me spiritual freedom in his Son, I want to committ myself to exercising the freedom of choice I have in a manner that is pleasing and delightful to Him. I choose to make use of all my God-given gifts to equip myself and do something extraordinary for Him, not matter what field I'm in. Bound by stereotypes of what is deemed successful, I will not be. I will not let what other people think of me come against my personal beliefs. And I believe in God and doing my best with prayer and supplication to maintain a clear conscience before Him as well as being someone extraordinary.