Atomic Librarian

Sex By The Numbers--Marie Donovan

2008-09-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal--while I cheerfully admit I read and like romance novels, I'm not a big fan of contemporary romance and even less a fan of category romance. That section of the genre exists in the same mental space I use for fashion magazines and home decorating blogs. Oh, so you mean there are women who are 5'10" and a size 4 and wear a $375 dollar dress while the tide rushes in and splashes their legs in an artistic manner? Okay, your fantasy, you do what you want! Hot sexy men who want a commitment falling for ordinary women ? Your fictions do not bear a resemblance to my life, whatevs!

I lack aspiration in so many ways.

But back to the book. Why is it so interesting and what makes it a good read? Yes, there's hot sex. It's a Harlequin Blaze title. But there's also accounting, and a female character with an interesting personal dilemma, some humor and a romance that you can believe in.

Dane Weiss and Keeley Davis don't know each other, but both get pulled into a secret, off-the-books investigation at Bingham Brothers. Dane is a protege of Charles "Binky" Bingham, a charming roue who should be in his oatmeal years, but is still a hands on manager of his family firm. Binky is also fond of strippers and targeted for retirement by his priggish grandson who cannot wait to get his hands on evidence that Binky's incompetent. Keeley has mad forensic accounting skills and is enticed to help by her friend Sugar, Binky's latest girlfriend. Oh, and how does Keely know Sugar? She used to dance at the same strip club under the name Cherry Tarte. Matter of fact, because of her dancing days Keeley is the go-to accountant for Chicago's exotic dancers (hey, you can deduct your makeup, but not your boobs, and keeping track of receipts is very important!)

Right, so the idea is Dane will go into Bingham Brothers as the new controller, and Keeley will pretend to be his secretary because no one would expect the female secretary to be able to examine the books in minute detail. Keeley knows this role will require her to play down her intelligence and competance, but it's her own perverse notion to play with people's expectations by donning Cherry's red wig and lucite sparkly heels, left over from her stripper days. Dane already fancied Keeley in her business suit and bun, and well, who wouldn't be attracted to a tall redhead in her stripper garb while she gives off a "I like you/No, not interested" vibe. Their relationship is believable and enjoyable, since they have a lot in common besides the sex and levels of extreme hotness--devotion to family, belief in hard work, sharp minds.

And seeing how Keeley manages to reconcile and integrate her past with the person she's become, who is indeed the woman she's always been-- a combination of sharp accountant and flashy dancer-- is a pleasure. I'm a sucker for an integration tale. I think it's my favorite theme of personal growth.

Another point of interest--her bio indicates Marie Donovan is a Chicago area librarian, so I have this "yes! kickass librarian" good vibe thing going for her work. She's definitely one to keep an eye on.

It's Like A Drive By, Only You Get Shot With Sarcasm

2008-09-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

Arizona Developers Welcome Spillover From Las Vegas Here's a water table, let's suck it dry!

So the housing market in Las Vegas is collapsing partly due to overdevelopment. Hmmm, so what should you do? Move onto the next section of virgin territory down the highway!

Sigh. This is why I think I'll never own property again--I just can't bring myself to trust the diffused responsibility of American capitalism and culture and blindly think it will work out in the end anymore.

The Don was right. Other people cannot be trusted, and anything that puts us in a metaphorical boat with them is a bad idea.

Time Warp Wives: Sometimes you meet a guy and really hit it off, he urges you to return to school and get a degree in biostatistics. Sometimes you meet a guy, and you find yourself submitting every bit of sense or morals to him, and you wind up helping him murder children. Or sometimes you just wind up with a guy who wants you stay home and not worry about a thing and pretend it's 1950 and you're so happy to be able to stay home and cook now that the war's over and you don't have to work in that nasty munitions factory anymore.

Notice none of these people have kids who might spoil the illusion time is passing.

Seriously, I think this is a kinky fetish thing. Somebody needs to call Dan Savage.

Caution: Driver May Be Surfing The Web: You know, when my grandparents were driving around with their 5 kids in the car, if you started acting up Grandma Jane brought out the rosary for enforced Hail Marys. When I was a child, we absorbed feminism from Helen Reddy's Greatest Hits and sang along to the Cats Broadway cast album. There has not been some weird genetic change in the American population in the past 20 years that now everyone has to be plugged intot he internet 24/7. Neuromancer is not here yet, even if I would be first in line to become a cyborg.

Want A Face-Lift? First, Better Stop Smoking: I like how this article never mentions that huh, maybe if you'd never smoked at all you wouldn't have needed a facelift.

The Next Hot 'Hood

2008-09-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

I was driving in East Mesa today when I passed a shopping center with a trifecta of Ohioness: Firestone Tires, JoAnn Fabrics and a Cici's Pizza. I got slightly excited and thought "Santa Fe Plaza, my ass! Maybe this is the fabled neighborhood of 'Little Akron!'"

Lakewood Public Library

2008-08-31T07:33:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned my disappointments with the new Lakewood Public Library before, but hey, I don't live there anymore! SuperC sent me the PD's architecture critic's take on the finished building. "Emotionally cool to a fault" is an excellent phrase to encompass its tone and failures. If libraries are moving more and more towards becoming community gathering spaces, between new policies aimed at treating patrons like criminals and an uninviting environment, one has to wonder if LPL will continue to enjoy the support of the community.

Although I do think Litt lets LPL off the hook for at least one important point--it's not design rocket science to realize that if you make a majority of the collection reachable by a backdoor that leads directly out to a parking lot and not past a cop or circulation desk, your collection is going to get ripped off. Form follows function, people!

The Highland Trillionaire's Feminist Princess

2008-08-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

Go play with The Random Romance Novel Title Generator. It's a fun time-killer, I promise.

My plot for this romance novel, starring me--so I get hired by a chain of inauthentic Scottish tea rooms coming to the Phoenix area as a server, quickly rising to the challenges of a managerial position. Faolan MacMonney,**the head of the company comes to check on things and is as impressed by my ability to upsell* his family's cherished scones and analytical business sense as he is transfixed by my large breasts. I am awfully attracted to his height, dun coloring and distinctive nose.*** We clash on the offensiveness of the nickname "Princess" and the question of whether women can have it all and if so, isn't that kind of a pain, as his jealous sister prepares to alter the quick dining market with the launch of a string of curry and vindaloo takeout carts.

*It's a pun--this is fantasy.
**As my friends at Rainbow Connection can attest, I am very good at the upsell. It combines my talents in flirting and sales.
***What can I say, I have a type, even in my fantasies.

You Know It's Fall When...

2008-08-29T20:06:00.000-07:00

Kerry is sitting outside watching the weather with a Salty Dog and a serving of Belgian chocolate mousse and and strongly wishing for a cigarette. Indulging multiple vices at once is my efficient use of resources.

'Tis depression season, people.

More Girl Chat

2008-08-28T12:02:00.000-07:00

Bright Young Things: Look at what I bought for $2.50 at the Goodwill! Granted it's vinyl, not leather, but I like it. It was the pink that attracted me. I also realized in the car that it reminds me of my pink tourmaline cocktail ring. For a woman who tries to look very sober and adult and who has worked mostly in conservative industries, I buy a lot of pink. It's my favorite color to wear, and possibly the most stereotypically feminine thing about me.

There was a stink inside the purse and some purple smutz outside, but used dryer sheets and a kitchen sponge took care of that. I am pleased.

Inadvertently Benefiting Society, One Comment At A Time

2008-08-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

Web Security Words Help Digitize Old Books: Dusie gave me a head's up about this story. If you missed it on NPR, go give it a look.

I found it interesting because back around 1992-1993 I was part of Princeton's digitization of its catalog, which digitized the actual cards. This was one of the first digitization projects (and you can see the results here), and they were doing it on a tight schedule and budget. They pulled all the summer workers from Firestone Libraries that summer for 2 hours of quality control a day, and we hated the tedium, and there were a fair amount of quality control issues due to the age of the cards, handwritten notations, the fading of ink.

The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks--E. Lockwood

2008-08-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

Let me explain: last Saturday I read half the review of this book in The New York Times, stopped myself as so not to quash my enjoyment, and immediately went to the library unbathed and in dirty clothes to check it out. Sartorial crimes aside, I am glad I did so, as this was one of the best books I've read this year. YA fiction is very hot right now, deservedly so because the quality is there. This book has a more engaging plot, better characters and intellectually involving themes that most adult fiction, even so called 'literary fiction," doesn't bother to touch.

So, the plot: Frankie Landau-Banks is 15 and headed into her second year at Alabaster Preparatory Academy, an upper tier Northeastern boarding school. To her family she is "Bunny," and while they are very happy she's grown into her looks, it worries them that she'll be all alone at school without her big sister. To the outside world she's an attractive, intelligent, slightly geeky, but ordinary, girl who like clothes, books and debate. And to most of Alabaster, she's just the girlfriend of gorgeous, wealthy Matthew Livingston.

And that is really all anyone expects from or imagines of her, until Frankie seizes control of The Loyal Order of Basset Hounds, Alabaster's all-male secret society, and launches a series of clever and pointed pranks highlighting the absurdities of privilege and forcing change. That she does this without anyone knowing she's behind it, including the Order, how and why--well, that's the story.

Here's the part where I go into rapturous glee about the book, and if you think you might read it, stop reading the review now because some things are best when you don't know. Drwende, you are warned--this book directly takes up some of the questions you were pondering about Emily when you were wrestling with motivation and the format of the quest while planning out her story.

Things I love about this book:

1) E. Lockwood has obviously spent some time in the East Coast upper crust prep school milieu. And so have Dusie and I (although our school was a little third rate and we were day students), so this book causes flashbacks. "Chapel is non-denominational despite the fact it's held in a Christian chapel in front of a cross, so suck it up, Jews!"--that happened in my school.

But other aspects are right on too: the odd formula by which status is conveyed by money, excellence in academics and certain sports, general coolness and exoticism, the speed and depth at which relationships develop without scrutiny by adults, the relative absence of adults, unspoken rules and class lines, the grant of limitless independence and self-determination in an atmosphere where you have no actual power. (Another hilarious aside from my school days--so one of the English teachers went to teach somewhere else for a year, came back and made a chapel speech about how he realized they were selling us a false bill of goods by telling us we could achieve anything but giving us no real power to affect change. So EVERY SINGLE PERSON running for school office made "get us some power" part of their platform. Did anything change? Of course not. But it looked great on college applications.)

2) Frankie herself--she's an intelligent, perceptive heroine with flair. Her pranks are awesome, and the way her mind works is elegant. Oh, and she's logical and argumentative and likes herself. This is not a girl who we as readers is told is "smart" but couldn't find her shoes if they were strapped on her feet. How rare is that?

3) The feminism: Kate Chopin, eat dust. This is the best novel of a feminist awakening I've read in a long time, partly because of the modern intelligence of Frankie, and also because it's realistic and not polarizing--what she wants, what drives her is a desire for respect, a desire to point out inequity and agitate for change, and a desire to belong on her own merits to a group of interesting guys who have the power inherent in their maleness to think big and go out and do things. This is a desire that's intrinsic to almost everyone regardless of sex. Frankie's not just a victim of men; the book also explored the boxes women put themselves in and the behaviors they enforce upon each other.

Additionally, Lockwood has a lovely writing style, detailed, amusing and perceptive but grounded in character. This is a good book for reading aloud. Someone please, please, please read it besides me and want to talk about it. I booktalked Dusie into giving it a try, but she's not a big reader.

So if you're looking for readalikes--Booklist has this list of other modern boarding school stories,, The P.L.A.I.N. Janes touches on the pranking, but what I'm really hoping for is this comic Genius to get picked up.

I About Start To Cry

2008-08-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Highlands, NJ--this isn't where I grew up, but it's very close. My dad took the ferry from there to NY my junior/senior years of high school. If I stayed in NJ, my dream place to live would be in Highlands or Atlantic Highlands for the old houses and to be near the water. Of course, now that I'm older and slightly wiser, I realize that would be a mistake.

You Know, This Attitude Problem Is An Inherited Trait

2008-08-22T19:29:00.000-07:00

If you're Slovak or intimate with some sort of Eastern Europeans, check out this. It's funny because it's spot on.

I have a pet theory about Cleveland--it's not just that the weather and the economy are bad. Face it, Cleveland's best days are in the past, and not even the upcoming global drought and the Great Lakes Water Compact will be able to save it. Cleveland has an congenital case of depression born from its immigrant/migrant past as a stopping point for Eastern Europeans. We're not the happiest of people, we like security, and we don't challenge the status quo. Hard workers though.

Librarianship Is My Bad Boyfriend

2008-08-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

So maybe that dream about the job interview in Prescott was prophetic, as I got a postcard in the mail today informing me "other applicant's more closely meeting the needs of the city" were chosen for interviews. The grammar mistake was theirs.

As for the rest of my job hunt: I applied for the academic job up the mountain, but they did not even require a cover letter or any background information other than answers to the questions "Do you have a MLS?" "Do you have reference experience?" and "What is your desired salary?" I have little hope. I have an application out for a part time librarian position out where I interviewed unsuccessfully in April, but who knows. I was turned down for an interview at the unaccredited law school, but really, as it was an unaccredited law school I do not feel particularly bad about that. I had a second interview this week with the state and certainly hope for that, but do not know. I am still on the certification list for a couple of other jobs I applied to in The Large Library System That Is Still Hiring (as opposed to The Large Library System That Has No Money To Hire) but I don't have much luck with that system.

I just wanted to give a little background to my job hunt--I have been applying for any job out here that I am suited for since November. I apply mostly at public libraries because that's where I'm most effective and I do have experience in that area, and that's what's open. But I've also applied at special libraries, the community colleges, and ASU. I have 10 years of special libraries experience in varied industries which I think gets me the boot--I am an odd combination of overqualified, yet not qualified. And it doesn't help that when I started the degree 5 years ago, all the jobs that interested me required it and now--not so much. Thanks, deprofessionalization!

Yes, I also applied for a couple of jobs back in Ohio, but they were pretty special jobs, ones that made sense financially or emotionally/professionally. And I just as deliberately did not pursue other opportunities that would have trapped me.

I am at the point where I'm applying for library jobs that don't even require a MLS, but are also not paraprofessional--just deprofessionalized. I am also applying for any business analyst jobs that seem to fit my background, and admining up my resume. But I honestly am beginning to think that the whole Master's degree was the equivalent of shooting myself in the foot employment-wise.

So please, for the love of Mike, do not tell me any crap about how I haven't been looking that long, that you have to apply for hundreds of jobs before you get one, that to expect that my skills and degree should be applicable and saleable is an "entitled" attitude, that it should be so easy for me to get a job, or stay hopeful.

Just don't say anything. I don't want to hear it, and I may kick you in the shins.

In short, I am beginning to feel about librarianship the way I do about men sometimes--that what is wonderful about me is apparently not what is wanted, that only the younger, stupider and cuter need apply, and nothing good is ever going to happen again.

My "Style" Is Things I Buy Used, Or Pick Up Off The Treelawn

2008-08-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

So I am holding the Ikea 2009 catalog and looking through it (because they will send you a print catalog unasked if you live in a city near an Ikea, but not if you are willing to drive 2.5-3.5 hours to reach one if you request a catalog), and I am unenthused. Yes, I'd like to move out into my own place, get Cain back and his new brother, retrieve my belongings from Ohio (okay, mostly I want my winter clothes), but I just don't want new house stuff. That way lies trouble. And it's all pretty and cheap, but truthfully I just can't bring myself to take the bait. I don't want a home--I want the ability to cut and run at 2 weeks notice.

And this is my idea of hell: if it's all so important, why is it in such disarray? Why didn't Dr. Lattimer catalog the items himself? Clutter and unintended damage, people!

Do You Believe In Magic? Or Sunscreen?

2008-08-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

I used to think it was me. Why is it so easy for others to move through the world, trusting experts, accepting things? Well, it looks like the medical industry is again selling us a lie. Sigh.

But still, let's review more sunscreens! They're all equally effective on my pearly skin, and while the slight tan I've accumulated on my right arm highlights the scars, I do think the regular application of sunscreen has benefits. Proof will be if I ever need Mohs surgery.

Aveeno Active Naturals Continuous Protection Sunblock Spray SPF 45: There's a lot to like about spray on sunscreen. The smell is minimal, and it absorbs quicker and leaves less residue than other sunscreens. You also don't need to rub it in. The problem is you wind up overspraying yourself when the can is fresh, and wandering around naked until you dry off.It's easier to apply when the can is half empty. The other thing is that you get fewer applications out of a $9 can--it only lasts me about a week.

Murad Oil-Free Sunblock SPF 30: This was a Christmas gift from Genevieve. Dr. Murad has a whole line of skincare (ah, the things you learn reading Elle!), and this is an excellent daily wear sunscreen. The texture is very fine, like moisturizer, and absorption rate is about medium. It sits on your skin, but disappears at a reasonable rate. A slight powdery feeling remains on the skin but it's not unpleasant.

The lotion smells faintly of lemon, which might set up a craving. I recommend the Whole Foods lemon tart.

Zia Age Defying Solar Care Body SPF 30: I was so please to find this stashed under the sink. I thought I had lost it back in April, but no, my sister just moved it out of sight so I couldn't find it.

This is expensive crunchy granola sunscreen, but it is amazing. I first used it driving to NJ, when I noticed I was getting burned. One quick application and I was no longer burning. It takes effect very quickly. and I swear I cannot tell that I have it on at all.

Terribly expensive though--a 4 oz tube was about $13. This was originally a gift from Genevieve, but I had to sacrifice my original tube to the TSA ogres at Newark. It's worth it for its effectiveness. Points off for having no expiration date on the tube. The smell is the best, a little like pie crust. Oh, and the only place I've seen it is Wild Oats. Like I said, crunchy.

Yes, Genevieve is my sunscreen source. Along with beauty world connections, she also has Celtic/Slav skin. It takes one to know one.

Sometimes It Pays To Procrastinate

2008-08-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

August 29th, sing-a-long "Mamma Mia!" launches. Please, the only reason to see the movie was the infectious singing of ABBA songs. This will just make it better. At the Marlboro Mesa, we have a lot of problems getting out of the house to see movies. Don't ask about the whole Pineapple Express near debacle. Aces and I have been thinking about going to see Mamma Mia! since it came out, but were at the point where she decided she might wait for video. And unfortunately Dusie hates musicals but loves Christine Baranski, so she was on board with that.

Now I'll have to go alone. I love to sing.

Show Report: The Octopus Project, The Diagonals & Treasure Mammal

2008-08-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

Monday night I drove over to The Rhythm Room in Phoenix, which is this dingy retro kinda club over by some Phoenix grit. Yes, Phoenix has grit, quite a lot. It was a nice surprise. The Rhythm Room bears a striking resemblance to the basement of Leutner Hall at college, of which I have some fond memories. Not as pretty as The Beachland Ballroom, but it does have a regular BBQ schedule and a shaded patio.

So, the music. Starting us off was Treasure Mammal (warning, these links goes to myspace).

Oh, Treasure Mammal. How can I describe you? It was like watching my pompous ex-neighbor play his "music" which is more like sound collages of screechy electronic sounds and rapid-fire beats. However, Treasure Mammal performed clad in a black lycra bodysuit with a small, strategically placed, florescent green oval. And sometimes a mask.

He had to take the mask off sometimes to see what he was doing and to perform the singing/spoken word part of his show, which consisted of a lot of ranting, howling, and saying "motherfucker" in praise of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes.

And sometimes yipping like a small dog being kicked.

I sat dumbfounded and worried. Thankfully, things got better.

The Diagonals are good--the lead singer has annoying patter, but the music is quite good. Garagey rock beats and quirky lyrics, although what is up with the image stream that has nothing to do with anything? They remind me of Cake without a trumpet.

The Octopus Project though--they have the whole package. Excellent pounding punky but tuneful instrumentals that had everyone in the club headbanging and dancing. The energy was amazing. It's a show experience that's like having sex in a good exhausting, happy fun way. They play along with the image show behind them in excellent timing. They have a cohesive visual image, the guitarist mc keeps great control, and everyone is having fun. The music flows over you and plays with different parts of your brain and forces you to pay attention--it's like a brain stimulation machine that makes you smarter. After the set, you will do calculus! If I were in Austin, I'd have a party just to book them to play. Highly recommended.

The "Stupidest Librarian 2008" Award Goes To...

2008-08-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

So let me get this straight: you write a book showing contempt for your patrons, self-publish it ($18 for a 153 page story?), use a pen name that is traceable back to your identity, include a picture of the library you are mocking on the cover, ask the local newspaper for a review, and then you are shocked when this gets back to your bosses in your small town and you are fired? Really? No, seriously?

Sally Stern-Hamilton has a lot of problems aside from losing her job--possibly being unsuited for public work, a severe lack of judgement, not understanding that along with a right to free speech comes responsibility for your words--but I admire a bit that she managed to torpedo her life so thoroughly while denying that even subconsciously that was what she wanted to do.

BTW, that link above goes to Annoyed Librarian's comments where someone violated copyright and posted the whole story, as the newspaper website wants you register to see stories older than 7 days.

Don't Piss Off Miss Bridge And Tunnel

2008-08-14T22:31:00.000-07:00

Chunky Pam's Dirrrty Jerzy video.

Special thanks to Aces and her boss for that video. We've got a little expatriate colony here on the Marlboro Mesa, and everyone misses different things. My sisters' long for decent Italian food and bagels. My list has jughandles, naked aggression, bagels, decent thin crust pizza and subs with vinegar.

I Love August, The Month Of Spectacle

2008-08-14T15:08:00.000-07:00

The heat, job interviews and the hope of a monsoon aside, why I am I so excited?

The Olympics--Busby Berkeley spun in his grave with jealousy that he had never got his hands on 15,000 Chinese and a nearly limitless budget. I was impressed with the opening ceremonies both times I watched them, once woozy with sleep dep and the next day with a cocktail. I don't follow sports, but I enjoy the reminder that interesting weird sports exist like the competitive weightlifting and handball, and who can resist scandals about lip-synching, faked artwork, and draconian physical standards for hostesses? Plus that nasty censorship and suppression of democratic movements and human rights, and sweatshop slavery! Whoo hoo, China!

The Democratic and Republican Conventions--I don't belong to either party, and frankly when I was a wee little one was corrected by someone who said that no, we didn't live in a true democracy because and that was so much better Kerry, because we'd have to be voting all the time otherwise. And I distinctly remember thinking that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard, trusting people to vote in your interests. Let's not even talk about my issues with compromise between two factions.

And I spent the last 2 Presidential races in Ohio. Ahem.

The best is yet to come. I'm talking about Burning Man: What! Kerry is a fan of Burning Man?

Oh, no. Burning Man is pretty much my idea of hell. I lack the planning ability to even begin to come up with a supply list for heading to this thing. Camping in the desert? Charges for leaving the area? Bartering? Drugs, alcohol and hookups galore? Art (I use the term loosely)?

Yeah, if you have issues trusting strangers, tend to be reserved, don't alter your consciousness, read fast, and like your art structured, Burning Man is not your scene.

But man, the news from last year really propped up my prejudice, what with the suicide and the Face Tattoes burning down the Man early, and Violet Blue's hilarious columns covering the phenomena.

I loves the crazy, even secondhand. There's one person who gets a free pass from me on attendance, but it is such a ridiculous situation overall I cannot begin to discuss it. My neighbors the performance artists went to Burning Man every year until 2007, when they hosted their own knockoff in rural Ohio. It was so sweet, the 3 weeks they'd be gone.

It's good times to be a newshound.

Kerry Leaves The House For..The Octopus Project

2008-08-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

I feel so busy. Tonight I plan to hit The Octopus Project's show at The Rhythm Room. No smoking at shows in AZ makes it safe for Kerry to go out, plus no need to drink and get caught by the fuzz.

I have never actually heard more than one of their songs, but MFA Jane both vouches for their excellence and knows one of the members from elementary school. And it's $10, and I need to expand my horizons beyond the grocery store.

Technical Difficulties And Stuff

2008-08-06T18:47:00.000-07:00

I'm having technical difficulties with my connection at the Marlboro Mesa, hence limited posts.

I also have a job interview on Friday morning. Any good vibes are appreciated.

No, I did not get the other job. I figured I didn't get it when the next week passed and I hadn't heard anything, and when my email to the HR contact was ignored. However, when the HR person says specifically that you will hear from her either way, it's pretty freaking tacky to get the final big "NO" when you log into the recruiting website.

My language would be much bluer if you did not read this blog, Aunt Mary Jane.

Happy Birthday, Andy!

2008-08-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

Today is the 80th anniversary of Andy Warhol's birth. Check out his art here.

If this poem intrigues, take a listen to Lou Reed and John Cale's tribute album Songs for Drella, or a look at A Visit With Uncle Andy his nephew James Warhola's children's book about the down to earth weirdness of Uncle Andy, who wasn't that odd when considered the whole family. Slovaks, you know.

I like Warhol. A first class weirdo, a star pimp, and the conceptual stuff was quite out there, but at the very least you have to admit the man could draw, and his ideas were amazing. I find his cynicism refreshing, and I think he was amazingly, depressingly prescient about quite a bit of American culture.

And the whole Slovak connection. He's the only famous Slovak-American I know of.

Better Check The Lakewood Housing Code

2008-08-03T18:11:00.000-07:00

Aces sent this story to me with the question "Worse than the performance artists??"

And the answer is no. Let me explain. Only the person who has actually done so would think that buying a portapotty and installing it in the front yard is an acceptable solution to problem of large parties, not wanting family members in the house and dogs in the backyard. Perfectly logical, right? Gosh, I don't know how the Mesa housing code people overlooked this possibility and didn't write code against it.

The performance artists were masters of walking the fine line and making you wonder if it was really that bad and worth confronting them. Band practice? Okay, it was tuneless, but it was also early in the evening. Dead baby garden? Bad art, but free expression. Recycled Rainbow? Beyond stupid, but if it's not disrupting my life in my house, go on. Talking on the front porch? Even if you're an idiot, that's what it's for. The pot? It's Lakewood.

Setting off fireworks at 1am? That I called the cops about. And I was pissed and went over when they were showing a film against their garage with the soundtrack blaring. And I'm glad that one of the other neighbors busted them for the fires. Friends parking on my side of the drive? Yeah, no--park on the street, get out and hike, sugar.

I kinda miss the constant irritation though.

Opinions Wanted--Shoe Edition

2008-08-03T16:55:00.000-07:00

Should I keep these shoes or not? They were an implulse purchase when I went into Fabu Footwear looking for nude sandals as per Sal's advice at Already Pretty.

Pros: Very cute. Black. I love the gray stitching that makes them look like they've been basted. The heel is just perfect in terms of making my legs look sexy, and being stable enough so that I won't trip and injure my arm.

Cons: Closed toe, and suede. On one hand, one can actually wear suede shoes here and have them last longer than the first ill-timed snow or rainshower. On the other hand, I also have a tendency to rub heels together, leading to scuffs or bald patches. Is it worth $60 to get pretty shoes in my size that are attractive and comfy, but won't be wearable for another 2-3 months? Waiting isn't really practical, as I wear a very popular size (8.5).

September 2008 Bon Appetit--The Issue Of Kerry Enterprises

2008-08-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

Feel free to grab the September issue of Bon Appetit and turn to page 28 for the R.S.V.P. recipe request letters. That first letter is mine--I wrote it 5 years ago. You now have the ammo to stalk and defame as you wish!

There is a funny twist to that story: the wonderfully talented and much loved Genevieve whom we were feting was graduating from the Cleveland Institute of Art with a degree in digital design. Within 3 years she and Patrick had decamped to New York where the folks at CondeNet were lucky enough to hire her. And in 2008 she spearheaded the redesign of the Bon Appetit website!

There are other very funny intersections with my life in this issue--the featured cocktail recipe is The Widow's Touch, which calls for Laird's Applejack, a Monmouth County, NJ-based company. I grew up 15 miles away from their homestead headquarters. By the way, applejack rocks. Despite that I doubt we'll be making The Widow's Touch--it calls for too many expensive ingredients.

Plus, Sweet Pea Bakery and Catering has their recipe for Brownie-Chunk Cookies featured in the article "Best of the Bakeshops." I knew Dusie and Aces were big fans of Danielle's goods (and they are excellent), but I didn't know that she's also got NJ ties.