mei vita...may god bless this mess...

the Sing-Pak footballer...

2009-07-10T14:58:00.005+08:00

He refuse to go in the walker nowadays... Once he got so angry cause he knew I was going to put him in there... He kicked it so hard it hit my feet... :(

He always tap on my hands to signal that he wants to walk... and also refused to held by both hands.. he will aggressively shake off any hands that try to hold him on his left hand... cause that is his "exploring" hand... am eagerly waiting for the day he lets go of my hands and walk on his own! :) sorry the video is in a format that I am not sure of... and I took using my hp hence the upside-down version of it...

He's 10 months! My big boy!

2009-07-06T22:46:00.006+08:00

Masyallah my boy is ten months now... I know this post is 6 days late... but still I needed to do this to reflect and remember the amazing achievements that my boy has done up to date!

He's going to be one soon... I've decided that there will be no party for him this year... I know its the first birthday and all...but it is the holy month of Ramadan and it will be nicer to know that people are performing ibadah and spending time with their family... Insyallah if his birthday falls on Syawal next year then I'll celebrate it....

A quick update on my baby's achievements and habits as he crawls his way towards the BIG ONE!

He is eager to start walking by himself nowadays and refuse to be held by both hands to walk... He has a good sense of direction and with me holding one hand, he will walk all around the house going to places he wants to go... Lol guess where is his favourite place in the house? The bathroom! He knows the way to the bathroom in just two days after getting back to Singapore.. oh.. he already knows his way to the one in the Pakistan house.. he practically crawls there every morning by himself though a week before leaving he always held my hand and walk towards there... he actually uses me just as a sort of walking aid... haha.. I feel so used!

His second favourite place... in Pakistan was the car porch and the laundry area...why? Cause these places he can find all the creepy crawlies he can play with.. In the car porch he will catch spiders and ants to kill.. yes kill... he practically fingers them to death.. :( and the black ants in Pakistan is honestly 30 - 40 times bigger than the ones in Singapore... he practically wrings their neck with his long fingers... poor ants really... and in reality they actually bites but somehow when he comes they all ran in terror... In the laundry area.... he plays with frogs!!!!!!!!!!! He laughs heartily when he tries to catch them and they jumped away... I got freaked out the first time.. and when I realise he enjoys it I just had to let him be... of course I dun let him put his hands in the mouth after that.... I washed him with diluted dettol too! Thank god I'm back in Singapore....

He has also started playing imaginarily which is quite amusing to watch... he can sit for a long time (in baby terms...lol) sitting by himself with some toys and he begins talking and moving them around... His explorative side has also expanded tremendously... every single thing makes him curious... and like what the FitPregnancy newsletter said... Diaper changing has become really really difficult as he kept on flipping and crawling away when I'm trying to put on the diaper for him...

Oh one more thing which I truly feel so touched about.. he is very defensive for his mommy! I guess cause he has become very attached to me nowadays... he can't see me getting bullied! :) Once my Bil was just playing around and teasing me and to avoid his tickles I screamed and cried saying No! And he saw it and yelled at my BIL when actually he's quite attached to him too.. He will only go to me or him readily with open arms... with other people he needs coaxing a little before he'll go to them... so we were all quite surprise when he first did that and I really felt so proud of him that he got such a defensive nature at such an age over me... usually he is only defensive over his own toys or space... but now he can't see me crying or getting bullied... he actually shout and threatens the person who makes me cry... :) but HE can make me cry... he enjoys pulling my hair... smacking my face... clawing me.... and smacking my spectacles out of my face and if I cry playfully when he bullies me... he will laugh! Naughty naughty!!!

His understanding of instructions has expanded too! He could say bye bye, ta ta, give things if being asked, socialise, etc. It is getting so hard to catch up with his achievements and habits nowadays and obvioulsy over the last 3 months he has grown so much and learn so many new things that I can't remember and take note of due to lack of internet access at that time... but I'll try to if I can... or else I feel as though I'm losing a part of his growth... hmm.. already I feel I am... time is passing too fast and I'm too slow in catching up!!! :)

Been ages since I blog... Summing up...

2009-07-06T22:18:00.004+08:00

Blogging was not something I could do anytime there...

Electricity is a luxury in Pakistan during the summers...

Once the lights went off for more than 24 hours and Siddiq ran a fever for three days... 41 degrees! He also fell ill a couple of times...

And I suffered from stomach problems more than 5 times throughout my stay of 3 months there... I could only eat home-cooked food and only a few other places... Yes super sensitive gastronomic system.. The family doctor really gotten to know me and my baby during our stay there...

Well that was the downside of it... The good side is I spend more time with my in-laws and bonded a lot more with them...I guess after their stay in Singapore and after spending the last three months with them we did become closer and understand each other better... And I also spend a lot of time with my baby so much so that he has became very attached to me... that he can't let me out of his side! Now...I'm beginning to worry how will I leave him with my auntie who has been taking care of him before... it has been over three months since he was taken care of by her...

I guess it was after leaving him for 15 days to come back to Singapore that he was afraid I was going to leave him again... my poor baby!

He will play with others as long as I am within his sight... If I were to even walk away for a second he will start wailing! And also I must be there when he wakes up.. A couple of times he nearly fell off the bed cause he woke up and start crawling and crying towards the end of the bed cause I was not by his side when he wake up... :( People might think it is endearing...it could be at times but sometimes he does get on my nerves... especially when he start crying for my attention when he notice me around while he was actually happily playing by himself or playing with others! When I'm there suddenly he will start throwing a fit and will only quieten down when I picked him up... Sighs...

Nowadays he also starts to throw tantrums a lot.. and ONLY TO ME!!!! and when I'm trying to pacify him sometimes he start throwing himself backwards ... sigh.. its really getting harder to handle this boy of mine nowadays.... but I must admit that he still amazes me with every little thing despite his fussiness and tantrums... will do a post on his achievements next!

I'm back on sunny island... and a short complaint!

2009-07-06T11:35:00.005+08:00

Yeap arrived yesterday morning and never felt so tired! Didn't sleep much during the ten-hour journey...

Siddiq was a darling in the plane even the other passsengers said so. He was such a pleasant baby and super friendly. He even slept so comfortable in my arms even in the cramped up seat with no complaints. But the flight from Bangkok to Singapore, he started being cranky because just as we were about to take off he got super hungry (couldn't fed him before cause the previous flight was delayed and I had to rush to catch the next plane! We were dropped off on the runway and not the gate therefore took more time to reach the transit area!)

My poor baby cried so much and started heaving cause he wanted his milk.... Because of that for the first time I got seriously mad with a flight attendant and gave her a piece of my mind that she was so ashamed to serve me throughout the flight. Very good cause you deserved being embarrased by me.... and I'll never forget your name! I am considering writing a complaint letter because your service was utterly poor and you called yourself a senior attendant. Pfft! Your airline should be ashamed of staff such as yourself. I understand that they can't serve us till the flight has safely taken off and I called for their service through the call-button at our seats after the seat-belt lights were off. It took them 20 minutes to attend to me after I continuously called for their service.... After 5 minutes of waiting I yelled for one of the attendants to get me the warm water to make Siddiq's milk. While feeding Siddiq the senior one, the one that got on my nerve right from the beginning came to me and asked if I had called. That was when I blew up!

Flight attendant: You need any help madam?

Me: I called 20 minutes before and my baby is already halfway through his milk.

Flight attendant: I heard your call madam but we are currently all busy at the moment.

Me: Yeah ALL of you were busy doing all the SAME things. You refuse to hear the cries of the baby and fail to attend to me despite me calling for your help 20 minutes ago! One of you could asked me if I needed help but NO! None of you even offered any help! What is the function of this button when none of you care to attend to passengers' calls? What if it is truly an emergency are you going to wait till all of your mundane routine is done or whatever so called busy duties are done!? Now go back to whatever you're busy with!

Why I was pissed was because I was sitting very near to their working area and the farking busy thing she was busy with was placing food for the passengers in the tray... Despite this she didn't even apologised and I could see she was purposely avoiding me... ashamed or whatever it was she felt...

I was also super angry with this same attendant because she was clearly annoyed at the presence of an infant in her cabin. The passenger sitting beside me was a nice gentleman and was okay with having me and Siddiq as his co-passenger. To prove some kind of point of something, she kept asking him if he would like to move to another seat. Though it benefitted me to have the seat next to me free but honestly she didn't do it for my benefit.. It was as though she was trying to please that gentleman rather than helping me out... Stupid ugly old bitch! Really the airline could do without people like her. Poor service. Poor attitude. Choosy nature.

Anyways I got that out of my system. Will blog more later!!! :)

Can't wait for this Sunday!!!

2009-06-17T15:46:00.006+08:00

We have finished the over 80 invitation cards (but mind you its more than 200 people!!!) (self-made by the younger SIL and me!!!) and spent two days giving them out! Phew!

Well this is rather large scale since its two function at the same time...

It's going to be my niece's first birthday as well as Siddiq's aqiqa (as well as sorta advance b'day thingy for the Pakistani side of the family)... It's this Sunday and lots of preparations are underway...
Will update soon about that...

With all these preparations I really can't wait to start preparing for Siddiq's actual 1st Birthday Bash in Singapore!!!! Hehehe... But I'm still contemplating as it falls on the fasting month of Ramadhan... so how?? Do I have it for like after breaking fast? Will people come? Sigh....

In the meantime... I'm trying to upload a video of Siddiq doing his usual counting routine before he goes to bed but can't seem to do it... Pakistan's internet is really getting to me these days... but I'm thankful that at least the electricity problem is so much better now! Not much of loadshedding!!! Yeay for that! Anyways at least manage to upload the invitation cards made for this coming 21st June function... And friends in Singapore.. insyallah I'll be sending your cards soon too if it falls through yah? :)

Siddiq is SIDDIQ!

2009-05-19T11:18:00.004+08:00

Parents being parents... and grandparents being grandparents are proud of their children or grandchildren and of course they love to show and talk about how much their little ones have achieved and excelled.... that is acceptable... but what gets to me is that when they start to COMPARE.... I hate it when they do that... Even as a teacher.. I hate it when teachers start comparing their students without really understanding each of the kids ability and potential or their true talent.

Being a mother of a 8 month old baby doesn't stop me from hearing comments made in comparison... and its worse when THESE FOLKS are talking about my baby. MY SON. I use to get hurt a lot when they started making silly comments. Especially during one of those gatherings where we bring all the kids together and make them play together.

Then I realise these people will always continue to make comments regardless of whatever! As long as you are a young first time mother and considered inexperienced or have a baby that is considered "SLOW" in milestones you are supposedly to take their advice in raising your own kids!

First it started with Siddiq's jaundice... I had to stop taking my herbs back then cause I was told it will affect his jaundice and it will remain high. Then it was his broncholiotis... I had to mix feed him with formula. Then it was his weight problem that I was given advice to stop breastfeeding. And being a paranoid mother I listened to all this blabbing about how to take care of my son for his own good. I was NAIVE. I should have known better.

Now it has come to his development. Siddiq has not started crawling at 8 months going on to 9 months... and its causing others to worry or be a busy body and started giving out their advice. Yes I admit I was worried too that he might be slower than the other babies at his age. Then I come to realise that this boy has gone through a lot and so much, which nobody else witnessed but me, my husband and my mother for at least two months after his birth. For the amount of shit he went through then, he has done lots of catching up and by my own standard and his, he's done well.

They failed to see the achievements that he has done but only concentrate on those he doesn't...

1. He doesn't lift up himself and get on all fours to crawl... but he gets to what or where he wants in other ways... He army crawls or even rolls to the places. That's not a bad thing. At least he moves. Only not in the "normal" way or enough to the liking of those who makes the insensitive comments. They assumed that I didn't put him on the floor enough... I didn't make him crawl towards things he likes..yada yada... truth is... I'VE DONE that.. but I didn't say it cause I know it will just make them say another thing... which is definitely going to hurt more... cause they assume they know better and they are right...

2. He sometimes cries when a kid disturbs him or get a bit more violent with him but often he doesn't retaliates. CAUSE he's not like one of those kids. He's my baby. He's being brought up to be a gentleman not a bully! He's ONE OF A KIND. He don't hit to get his toys. He's happy to just play with another toy and he don't get jealous over toys or parent's attention. He win people hearts with his smiles.

3. When he sits he doesn't move, very inactive. Just play by himself. SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT? Just because he doesn't crawl around and jump around like some kind of monkey 24 hours...doesn't mean there's something wrong with him or his development skills. He might be slower or he's just taking things at his own pace. And defintely he prefers the walker to having to crawl by himself. Cause he can be up to more mischief and move around much faster. What I don't understand is why rush babies in their development? What do they have got to do?

4. Where is his teeth? Why are they not growing? Just so YOU KNOW... the faster the teeth grow... the faster it will fall out... So what is the big deal of him having to have his teeth grown as soon as possible? I'm fine with him chomping around the house without teeth for the moment. Fact is the teeth are growing out... it's just not going to be an overnight thing isn it?!

Instead of looking at his slowness of development and at doing things cause he's always a month or so behind, look at his achievements of what he can do... after all he's just a baby.

These people won't see anything or won't see it through my eyes... But I do see my baby...

Do you notice how he is already grabbing at things to pull himself up to standing position?

Do you notice how fast he imitates something that he sees? Like smacking of lips, vibrating his lips, sticking out tongue, clapping of hands, using the spoon to feed himself etc.

Do you notice how he bang whatever things with rythm rather than just random banging?

Do you notice how he actually understands whatever you are saying and actually responds to you? Do you notice how well a conversationalist he is? All you need is time to take notice of his achievements....

And I'm not talking just about my son... I'm sure there are lot of other parents who are in the same shoes as me... whereas there are others who are so eager to show off their baby's fast development. Whichever you are... you have every right to feel how you feel.. but just don't be unfair and start comparing your child with another. One party is bound to get hurt and for those parents with slower babies, don't give up hope or get demoralised and don't condemn your babies as slow. Give them your full support. Somewhere along the lines all the babies will grow up and be whoever they were meant to be... :) As long as you have been a great parent... the results will show...

I am the BENT RIB and I'm fully aware of it...

2009-05-18T13:43:00.004+08:00

Been reading a few books on the expectations of a Muslim wife...

I came across a saying made by our Prophet (s.a.w) where he describe women as a bent rib...

"Treat women well and with kindness, for woman was created from the rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its upper part. And if you were to go and straighten it, you would break it; and if you were to leave it, it would remain crooked. So treat women well and with kindness"

I did some research just as I suspected there has been uproars on this phrase that he has made saying its oppression and insult to women...

Its strange how educated people can be but when it comes to judging the religion they have completely lost their senses and the ability to view something from another view..

Just as there have been uproars and anger there have been others who have provided sound reasoning to the phrase which I personally agree with...

Our prophet (s.a.w) said that women are like the bent rib because of how our personality are like... We are the sensitive, emotional, sometime the more irrational gender... yes I might be generalizing here but when it comes to feelings and emotions we are all guilty of being easily acting upon them. I rather see this phrase as advice for the men... as a form of making them understand that we are indeed complicated forms and are easily ruled by emotions and by forcefully making us change or making us do things that we don't want to do, we will break just like the bent rib! Treat us nicely and pamper us...take good care as well treat us with kindness... the bent rib will not hurt you right? Rather then trying to "straighten" us up, it will lead to unpleasantness... it's easier to accept us the way we are and if we are flawed... all we need is your patience... treat us well with kindness and especially LOVE... we are the more brittle creatures when it comes to emotions. Hence we are the bent rib, the one that was taken from you to be created for you....

daddy's going crazy!

2009-05-16T11:44:00.006+08:00

Since he turned 7 month old the previous month... Siddiq has become very very and I seriously mean VERY naughty...

That sometimes I wonder where has the innocent sweet little thing gone to? I mean he is still the sweet little thing MOST of the time... its just that he has gained another personality since then...his naughty side which I know from which side of the family he's gotten from ;)

Siddiq has this fascination with all sorts of thing that has lables, wires, dangling stuff and stands... YES stands! What do I mean... hmm.. shoe stand, standing fan, vegetable stand (this was in the Pakistani house's kitchen) yeah we have a three tier vegetable stand which he has numerously pull and crash the whole thing down. Strangely he has never gotten hurt, alhamdullilah he has not and I do not want that to happen too but HE has seriously been so lucky! And the one cheeky thing he does when we catch him when he's just about to pull something down... he'll smile! Yes especially when we are trying to stop him by saying "NO! Siddiq.. noooooo!" He will flash his cheeky smile and with one swift pull, everything comes crumbling down! It is as though he is challenging us that he'll do it no matter what... He does all this while he's in his walker. The only thing we can do to save anything from his clutches is to quickly rush to him and prevent the incidences from happening..even then... he is usually a step faster than us sometimes.. Just as we approach him... HE WILL PULL OR PUSH whatever things he has his hands on... We will save something from being falling down.. he's off somewhere else looking for something else to pull push or throw... We're constantly on a cat and mouse game with him when he's awake and in the walker...The very mischievious thing about it is that he'll laugh and be amused at these adults running after him and chasing him to prevent him from breaking or pulling things! How naughty! We have started calling him the cheeky monkey... You think we didn't child proof the house right? The thing is we did! I don't know how he'll always manage to do something that causes us adults to go on panic frenzies! Its constantly "Siddiq what's that in ur hands?" "Siddiq what's that in ur mouth?" Siddiq No dun do that!" "Siddiq that's not a toy!" "Siddiq don't throw that!" "Siddiq ... Siddiq... " Lol it gets tiring... but it sure keep ur time filled!

Hahaha but the thing is... nowadays... he is driving his daddy up the wall with all his naughtines!!!! Haha... I'm kinda secretly enjoying that fact that Siddiq is making his daddy go crazy! After all its payback time! Since he was never that participative when I was there to take care of Siddiq... and well now... he is having the full time job of taking care of Siddiq... hehe.. and in addition Siddiq has discovered that daddy has a forest of hair on his body and head and loves pulling his daddy glorious forest of hairs out! haha and trust me Siddiq has such a strong grip it really really hurts... Haha I manage to catch him in action pulling his daddy's hair on one of our webcam sessions. :) Ahhhh.... I miss my baby! I know I've been blogging about nothing but him.. but that's all I can think about the whole day! I am here to finish off some errands and the MOE seminar.. but on other days I'm pretty free... and all I wanna do is be with my baby... still counting on the days...

"you naughty daddy! I wanna talk to mummy too ok!" Let me talk to her!!!

missing my little man....

2009-05-14T21:30:00.003+08:00

for my baby who's far away from me...

Godspeed - Dixie Chicks

Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "amen" wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

this is not easy....

2009-05-14T21:06:00.004+08:00

first separation from my baby... i can't blog about anything else but each day as the day ends... I just miss him so much.. miss his laughter miss his cheeky smiles... miss his cries... miss his manja ways... sigh.....

He's already 8 1/2 months... Time sure fly by... Can't wait till 23rd when I'll be with my baby again... I was so paranoid that he won't remember me... but daddy has been bringing him on webcam at night and he saw me on cam too... he smiles so widely when he saw me on the laptop! Awww... it's so awful being apart from him for this long! Counting down really...

2 days down.... 13 days more to go

2009-05-10T18:01:00.004+08:00

Back in Singapore

Lots of errands to do

15 days without my little one...

I miss him like mad... even though daddy put him on the webcam every day and night... I still wanna hug him and kiss him...

Wish the damn 15 days just breeze through...

Either I'm not there or daddy not there... sucks...

Missing my babies...

It's been 3 weeks!

2009-04-28T13:30:00.002+08:00

Yeap been here for about 3 weeks now!

Can't blog cause of the power outages that occur nearly an average of 8 hours per day!

It's so super hot! Tempers are flying too but we are keeping it in check...

Enjoying the night bike and car rides with hubby! ;)

Lots to blog but feeling super lazy...

Caught the cold...

Oh yes! I met Wana!!!! It was nice! Finally conversing in malay in Pakistan hahaha... didn't get to take good pictures though and when she came over to my place... Completely forgotten about taking picture! Sigh... will write more if I can catch some time!

a load off!

2009-03-30T20:25:00.002+08:00

yeap all the major assignments and projects are over!

Yeay!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I can breathe...

Hmm though I think this semester's results won't be that great... but I'll be glad to at least get it through!

Yeay now can fly off to Pakistan liao!!! :) Meet my hubby dubby!

He's gone to Pak... :(

2009-03-21T18:58:00.004+08:00

Despite doing this all the time at the airport... It always pains me to see him walk away from me... walk away from us into the immigration check and going off to take the plane... And he'll always try to stay out as long as he can... Partings are never easy... those who said they get use to it must be in denial... cause it always hurt to leave your loved ones... it always does... cause the minute the glass separates him from me and my son... I already begin to miss him like hell... miss him so bad... wishing that I can turn back time and make him stay with us till all of us leave for Pakistan together... I know like all the other times we had to part there's always this reason... this "have to" reason and I hate these reasons... and somehow again we are going to be in Pakistan at different times and leave at different times... I just hope the Almighty knows that we need to spend more time together and somehow let us be together for a longer time this time around in Pakistan...

He just called from Bangkok, during the transit there. They are about to fly out to Karachi soon. Waiting for his call tonight. Will wait even though it'll probably be at 2 am Singapore time when he reached there. Then I'll know he's there safe and sound. I miss him. His son miss him. I just hope the sacrifices the 3 of us made as a family is appreciated by those we are doing it for.

For the next 20 days, I'll be missing that middle of the sleep kiss that he gives me... those kisses he thought I didn't know about cause he thought I was sleeping....

Baby counting down the days till we'll meet in Pakistan...

Love you loads and missing you just so much....

Some getting used to...

2009-03-08T20:04:00.002+08:00

It's the thing between the kiddo and the daddy...

The thing is they get along well... very very well in fact...

So much so that now he wants to go to daddy whenever he's around at my place.. (he's staying with the bro)

And daddy spoiled him rotten by rocking him to sleep on his shoulders while walking around.. so much so that now he won't go to sleep unless he's put to sleep that way... I've got a bad temper when the baby starts throwing tantrums just before going to sleep... And of course daddy will come to save the day and he'll go happily in daddy's arms... yeah yeah mummy's jealous... and guess that's something I really need to get used to... I know women are funny creatures.. I was hoping so much for daddy to be around to help me with the baby.. and now when he is... I'm getting jealous.. what to do.. we're are made that way I guess (of course I'm not speaking for all the women out there DUH! Just the some of us! :P )

Arghhhhhhhhh today we attended my secondary school friend's wedding! Gosh it was really nice to see some old friends.. All look so different and grown up.. Lol I was mentally picturing each of us there in our BVSS school uniforms...hehehe... And yeah I got really some surprise looks cause of my marital status and mommy status... well I haven't seen some of them since over 5 years ago... Lots change in that period of time... :)

OK now I got to go back to my assignments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn these assignments ... some times I really rather just sit for exams.... honestly...

Hubby's in Town!

2009-02-27T21:43:00.004+08:00

Yeap he came late last night! :) Yeays!
He stayed over last night and it felt really nice snuggling up to him to sleep again after so long... Though work and Siddiq kept my mind busy from missing the hubby... fact is I do miss him....and having him back around now is just so nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was afraid that Siddiq might not be friendly with him... BUT I was wrong... :) Father and son got on perfectly well... Siddiq laughs at all his daddy's funny faces and antics when usually he's pretty choosy at who get his precious laughs... He loves being held by daddy and playing with him... And both daddy and son together loves and basks attention from the opposite sex happily!

We went out today, did some errands, bought some gifts ...then we were at the HDB Hub today which is for another thing... and mind you today is just the first day he's back and we ran into a friend of his already! Hmm.. yeap opposite sex :P hahaha...

Now he's staying with BIL till we go back to Pakistan... yeah plans change again if you know what I mean.. :P Okay got to get my work done for datelines... or is it deadlines? Which do we really use? Hmm....

My baby 1st fall!

2009-02-25T17:46:00.005+08:00

Well it bound to happen sooner or later... :(

I left him in my sister's care while I needed to go get ready to go out... and she left him on the sofa couch to clean up after my niece. We all thought he didn't really like to flip over maybe that's why she left him there.. but I think he fell by sliding down the couch instead of flipping over... well anyways... I can't blame my sis... it already happened and I really couldn't be bothered to get mad...

And that day before we know it, we heard a thud and he started wailing! I really got a shock and I wanted to scream out when I saw him turning red somehow I managed to remain calm and soothe him and rub his head and sayang sayang him... He quiten after a bit...Luckily it wasn't anything serious... Thank god really. Honestly a thousand thoughts came across my head but I know that babies' heads are still quite soft and don't easily suffer from serious injuries due to falls cause God just made them that way... knowing the numbers of accidents they are prone to I guess...

It has been two days since the fall and he looks totally fine... so alhamdullilah...

Brought him to the barber's cause I wanted the baby to have a first proper boy cut...but that irritating pakcik... I think he accidentally razored off more hair than he should and conveniently suggested that I should get Siddiq a total head shave off instead of a stylish "mullet" haircut which I wanted him to have! He said the weather is too hot anyways and will be better for hte baby...Esssh! So irritating thinking of saving a few bucks I lost my baby's hair... Guess next time I'll go to my normal hairstylist for the baby as well.. Told hubby about it and he got pissed that I shaved off the baby's hair.. LOL what can I do right? Just told him la the weather too hot for the baby so had to shave off his hair... :P

Oh btw it's my 300th post! lol I didn't know I wrote so little!

A load off my shoulders!

2009-02-20T19:00:00.001+08:00

Yeay two modules down! Yippee! And its friday! And I've got some allowance! This is a good day!

Only 4 more to go (with tons of assignments still...but for now I DON'T CARE!)

Muahahahaha! I'm gonna kick my shoes and chillex with my baby!

part of a song i use to listen to everyday... how apt...

2009-02-10T20:15:00.001+08:00

Well I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove
I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath a disguise of a smile
Gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Like what the fark...

2009-02-09T18:14:00.003+08:00

Yes life sure fark us up sometimes... And sometimes the circumstances are just as that... The expletives are due to my bad mood over the past few days... I'm in foul mood because of so many things... One I'm really tired... It's inevitable but I do feel like a single parent sometimes.. Yes I know I need to be understanding and independent. Well I am! I think I am one of the most overly understanding and superbly independent person around... So? Still needn't stop me from feeling that way right? I'm pissed over the mounting assignments that I just can't seem to complete.. I get side-track at home.. I can't leave my baby alone, not when he's awake.. Sometimes I do get mom to help but its still different... Then there's over the fact that the hubby just said that he won't be able to stay long if he does get sign off... He'll just probably go back to Pak first then wait till I join him there... Why? Because? Just some stupid reasons that I can't even bring myself to write here. Now just when I was waiting for him to be with us... He wants to go back. Just when I thought I could now relax a bit with him around to help out. He wants to go back. Or that's what he says! Well I'm not going to Pak if he's not coming with us from here. I will live by that!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What?! No.. not yet...

2009-02-08T19:34:00.003+08:00

Siddiq has this habit of putting his foot or feet in his mouth.

Old folks claim that it is a sign that he wants siblings.

No. We are not ready for another one just yet.

Siddiq, I want time now for just you me and daddy k. No siblings now. Not at least for another 3 years k.

In the mean time, just enjoy the feet. And I need to get into the habit of cleaning your feet after you walk around in the walker now. Cause you get them dirty when you're walking around the house and I don't wanna you taking all the dirt in when you eat your feet :P

Where are you baby?! I want that room!

2009-02-05T16:08:00.004+08:00

It's been 5 days since he called... at other times it wouldn't really matter... cause I know it takes about 7 days for him get to Malaysia from Vietnam... But I really hope he'll call soon..cause I need him to confirm that he is coming here as soon as he signed off... And I need to let the nice lady know that I want that room in Tampines!! It's like a freaking good place to be in! Thanks Fara for the lobang! :P hehe...

First of all it's opposite Afghanistan! I know for sure my hubby will like that. Then I have like a gazillion friends living in that neighbourhood! Really not kidding :P And so many other facilities la! I want that room!!!! But I would only know when to confirm if he let me know when he's coming back exactly and of course I need him to pass me some "Yusoffs'" or "Benjamins'" lol for that matter so that I can place the deposit to "chop" the room... So baby wherever you give me a call! Waiting anxiously here...

Getting the hang of it...

2009-01-29T21:11:00.003+08:00

Well at least I'm trying... It was kinda exhausting in the beginning... Waking up at 5.30 am everyday...get ready for school get the baby ready and then off to the nanny's and making my way to school... and hours later drop by at the nanny's pick up the baby and off back to home...

At home, I'll rest for a while and my parents or siblings will play with the baby and then I'll feed the baby and play with him or talk to him or tell him stories and probably feed him again before putting him to sleep and then I'll do some school work before heading to bed myself at about 12 plus or 1 in the morning... Yeah sometimes up till 2 am because with the baby awake I can't seem to do work... don't ask me why not....I just can't...

And the baby is getting use to the routine as well... He used to get cranky when I had to wake him up at 6am to get him ready and stuff.. Nowadays he gets up around that time himself... so easy for me to feed and get going for the nanny's. He will be awake throughout the journey in the bus. And its a plus point that he is such a social and smiley baby... well at least to everyone else :P lol my family and I will know what a cranky and angry fellow he can be when he don't get what he wants especially his milk! So yeah he will smile and baby talk to passengers on the bus and thankfully people are kind to give me seat every morning as it is very crowded at that time... It will be very bad if I had to stand because most of the bus in the mornings are the new ones that accomodate for those needy in wheelchair, but I personally feel those buses are hazardous for the other passengers... these new buses are so not passenger-friendly! With little standing space especially at the top part where you have to climb on steps to get to the seats (I usually sit on the four seats that is on the lower part of the bus, you know which one I'm talking about...its a single deck bus but it has two parts la... very irritating bus in my opinion I seriously think they could have come up with a better design...hey actually the double decker version that is handicapped friendly is pretty good... its the new single deck one that is very unfriendly for passengers I feel) And it also doesn't help with all the bus captains (as they are so called nowadays) driving like they are retired F1 drivers reliving their moments!

Anyways..so yeah back to where I was... so yeah thankfully I've manage to get a seat every morning despite the existence of the new super irritating single deck buses that comes in the morning... and it's also a good thing that Siddiq is so social and happy every morning. It really starts off my day in such a positive and upbeat mood you see... :) And also kinda make me proud mah... baby making conversations and smiling with people.. as they will always have somethings nice to say... being a mother of course I'm smiling and beaming with pride when folks say nice things about my son.. (but of course I know that all this is from HIM... so I'll always be reminded to say my thanks to him and Masyallah. :) )

Being so lacked of sleep, I catch an hour nap or so if and only I can get a seat in the train, now don't have baby you see... so can't expect sympathy... and especially if the train is so full of certain group of people who simply don't care and so thick skinned, they can run and grab and place their butts on the seat EVEN if you are right infront of a seat which someone is getting up from and YOU are just about to take that seat, naturally right you are infront of that seat somebody gets up you sit down la.. But these folks... sheesh! They can shove you so hard from behind and push you away and sit on that same seat and very IMMEDIATELY fall asleep! Magic isn't it?! And I realise it is a common and prominent attitude of a certain group of people and I am bold enough to say that these group of people are definitely not Singaporeans, I won't generalise and say that all Singaporean are perfect.. but it's just a very durational observation... These group of people takes up about 30 - 40 percent occupation in the train at about 6 -7 am in the morning... every day...

So that's it if I get a seat I'll nap... I seem to side track a lot.. maybe just feel like blogging a lot eh? Where was I? Yeah it'll be school for hours and then off back to home!This is usually about 3 or 4 in the afternoon..meaning I reach Eunos where I'm picking my baby up at about 5 or 6 in teh evening...

So I'll head to nanny before home! It's so great that she will bathe him, clean him, change him, read to him, play with him the way I'll do it for him... :) and no matter how dead tired I am at that time and sleepy and so so moody... When I see him smiling and reaching out for me as I enter her house... all the tiredness just melt out of my body.. I swear... My baby has that much tremendous effect on me... Every day from Monday to Thursday (I don't have classes on Fridays... lol yeah envy me! :P ) He never fails to greet me with such a beautiful smile and his arms reaching out for me when he sees me coming into the house.. Masyallah he is really getting smarter day by day and growing at such an amazing speed... Just five months ago, this little baby was so little that I was so afraid to let him out of my sight... Now, he's fighting with his might to squirm out of our hands and trying his might to get up and move about... Oh how he will pull himself up and hold my fingers tight when I put them out for him! And I don't know if he's just a lazy baby or he hates the lower perspective....He hates being put on his tummy and when he wants to play he doesn't want to play while lying down...He wants to sit and play with you...He's not even trying to roll over also... no matter how I tried.. Actually he was learning how to roll over before he got circumcised but I think after that he didn't dare to roll over and when he recovered he just plain forgot I guess..LOL

So now he doesn't want to roll over... but he wants to sit up or pull himself up to a sitting and standing position! And when we hold him up standing he wants to start walking! He moves his legs and step forwards! Hmm... somehow it doesn't sit with me...I feel that its not systematic that he is not doing things in order... see that is how OCD I can be sometimes... but my mom says its normal for some kids to do that... but isn't it dangerous if he doesn't learn to roll over and crawl first... instead of standing and trying to walk??

Then there's this grabbing habit that he has gotten into... And his favourite subject....my glasses.

He will gleefully grabs it from my eyes and puts it in his mouth. Well he got into the habit sometime back to taste everything but nowadays he is getting cunning at grabbing things... He will flash you such an innocent smile and when ur making funny faces to get his reaction he'll grab the glasses off and have a smile of triumph on his face as he slobers and wets my glasses with his saliva... :( I think might have to get new glasses soon... Cause now I have only one pair of glasses which I use for home and school. Luckily it's a plastic one.. more durable. Oh gosh what the heck have I been writing?? So much! And honestly I've forgotten what I was writing about... well till next time...

This Used to Be My Playground...

2009-01-24T22:41:00.004+08:00

Was looking at some of the photos posted by a classmate in the Bedok View Alumni (facebook-non-official group) and it got me reminded of so many sweet memories in the secondary school... Many a times when I spoke to an ex-classmate or a friend whom I got to know from those ages we speak so fondly of it and have such a good laugh... It was where I met some really good friends... and learn a lot about life... I wish I could hold on to those happy past... but without that chapter in my life I would never be who I am now... Four years teaches you a lot... Four years experience with people who made such a difference in your life... and I'm not even talking about studies... I'll remember the late Miss Peh who never gave up on me and my classmates... One of the very reason why I took a turn and love teaching... I now know why she dedicated her whole life to teaching... the love she gave towards it... honestly I've never knew anyone like her... I could never thank her enough for making me study hard... I also remember Miss Tan too... She was also the other teacher who made me fall in love with the English Language so hard... :) Other than that... BVSS was really like a playground for me... I thoroughly enjoy going to school just to have fun even if I wasn't interested in studies back then... this song from Madonna just came up to my head (it was also the OST for League of Their Own)I miss my secondary school days...

This used to be my playground (used to be)
This used to be my childhood dream
This used to be the place I ran to
Whenever I was in need
Of a friend
Why did it have to end
And why do they always say

Don't look back
Keep your head held high
Don't ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You're feeling old
And your heart is breaking
Don't hold on to the past
Well that's too much to ask

Live and learn
Well the years they flew
And we never knew
We were foolish then
We would never tire
And that little fire
Is still alive in me
It will never go away
Can't say goodbye to yesterday (can't say goodbye)

This used to be my playground (used to be)
This used to be my childhood dream
This used to be the place I ran to
Whenever I was in need
Of a friend
Why did it have to end
And why do they always say

No regrets
But I wish that you
Were here with me
Well then there's hope yet
I can see your face
In our secret place
You're not just a memory
Say goodbye to yesterday (the dream)
Those are words I'll never say (I'll never say)

This used to be my playground (used to be)
This used to be our pride and joy
This used to be the place we ran to
That no one in the world could dare destroy

This used to be our playground (used to be)
This used to be our childhood dream
This used to be the place we ran to
I wish you were standing here with me

This used to be our playground (used to be)
This used to be our great escape
This used to be the place we ran to
This used to be our secret hiding place

This used to be our playground (used to be)
This used to be our childhood dream
This used to be the place we ran to
The best things in life are always free
Wishing you were here with me

It's a long weekend but...

2009-01-23T21:05:00.006+08:00

Yeah the but is there because I don't think I'll be able to enjoy the long weekend as much as I thought I will be...

Well the thought of spending five long days with my baby is of course the best part...

But my mind is swirling with all the things I have to do... Like a couple of super long essay... Think of an art piece I wanna work on that deals with interdisciplinary like wtf? (this is such a curse word when it comes to art!) and of all the topics... I chose to work with a theme... "PHOBIA" now I might be getting a phobia I think soon... There is this analysing of children's art and their development...

Then the bulk of the lot... there is this unit plan for english that I have to come up with and I still can't decide on which "young adult" fiction book I wanna work on... I wanted something by Elizabeth Laird cause she's a good author for adolescent books but... I can't think of which one... I was thinking "Red Sky in The Morning" that book made me cry when I was 13 for heaven's sake... 13 was such an emotional time when it comes to reading books....

lol I also remember crying for Clay Marble by Mingfong Ho.. yeah the one that wrote Sing to the Dawn too.. read Clay Marble I'm sure it will get a tear out of you... I cried when I read Red Sky in the Morning... I also cried reading Emily of Emerald Hill, well I am not ashamed to admit that I was kinda "a matured reader" back then.. that was also the age I read Leap of Love by Catherine Lim.. yeah that same book that got into a movie.. I can't remember what title it was... but yeah..lots of tear-jerkers books...

So yeah this is the major headache I have to deal with during this awfully and painfully long weekend...to come up with a unit plan of 14 hours... Can't decide what book to do on how to do a 14 hour unit plan??!!! I'm freaking and panicking but that is NOT good cause my brain will go into hibernation if I panic... sometimes... either that or in my panic state I produce awfully A+ work... hmm.. so I don't know should I panic? ArGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Then I feel like not bothered with all my school stuff and just enjoy the function tomorrow..then there's this family beach outing on Monday...