FindingAvalon

world austim awareness day

2009-04-02T09:54:00.001-05:00

peace y'all

the 10th anniversary of my 29th birthday

2009-03-31T09:36:00.002-05:00

well, it has finally happened... i turned 39. since the numbers 3 and 9 are my favorites i am expecting this year to be fantastic. (i can dream can't i?)

i planned on a simple ordinary day, but now the silent prince is coming home from school. he has another ear infection that just won't go away and he just doesn't want to be at school. hubby suprised me with flowers and if the prince is up to it maybe we'll go out to lunch later. otherwise i expect it to be a low-key day. the big bday dinner was on sunday with my parental units and my uncle who was visiting from boston.

about the new digs:

i think i have the nicest neighbors i've ever had since becomming an adult and living on my own. this is a plus. gardener, who lives next door loves to well, garden and just informed me that she has wildflower seeds for me and will be out this afternoon to rake my little hill and toss the seeds. i'm invited to participate if i'm available. music mom and cop dad who live on the other side of our place have been enjoying having the princess kitty come over to play with their one-year old. now if only gardener's dog and 'ohana would decide to get along we'd be fine.

and that's about it for today. i need to finish getting ready for hubby and the prince to come home.

peace y'all and happy birthday to me!

in the 60's

2009-03-28T16:44:00.002-05:00

the weather is finally starting to warm and i'm joting this down just before going to sit out on my porch before starting dinner.

little is happening. the princess kitty is playing with the 1yr old next door and the silent prince is napping. i have to take him to the doctor tomorrow morning rather than going to church because he is literally bleeding from the ears. (poor guy and those rotten ear infections.)

i've been vaccumming... wait, let me add a few more letters to that word: vvacccuuummming with our new toy (perhaps more about that later) and hubby is at work and will hopfully stop at the store on his way home.

and that's all.

i have thoughts on obama's special olympics faux pas, but i will save that for another day.

in the meantime... peace y'all

it's time

2009-03-27T09:32:00.002-05:00

it's time to start writing again. so much has happened since july 2008. i no longer work at the church where i was a pastor. we've moved to a new home. and i turn 39 on tuesday.

i've gone on disability. it's not that i had a mental breakdown, but i had a mental breakdown. i wasn't being effective at anything and it was time to let go of one of my stressors. since i couldn't give up my family it had to be work.

so now i am a stay-at-home-mom with a sink full of dishes and laundry that needs to be put away. but that's ok.

i live in a beautiful new home and was just able to go sit out on my deck and listen to the birds which are braving the still cold spring.

and i need to start writing again. so here i am.

peace y'all

today's word is moron

2008-07-22T18:00:00.003-05:00

and that is all i have to say about that guy, well i could actually say more, but i try not to use words like that here and because my brother said some of them for me already.

God's peace y'all and perhaps a little understanding for kids with asthma and autism

thank you for the inconvenience

2008-07-17T09:49:00.002-05:00

years ago, right after hubby and i got married, we moved to newark, nj for the year to do our internships. the year we moved there newark unseated detroit or washington dc (whichever it was then) as the most violent city in america. we never had any problems and actually loved living there. perhaps only the way newly weds can love a tiny apartment with crazy landlords and car alarms going off throughout the night.

i would travel to montclair, nj for my internship. montclair is the complete opposite of newark. it was affluent and well-to-do. the people who lived in montclair were highly educated and worked in corner offices in new york city.

hubby stayed in newark and split his time between a new mission and a church which had been around forever. the new mission was tri-lingual: english, spanish, and portuguese. the neighborhood we lived in was made up of mostly portuguese and brazilian people (many of whom weren't here legally.) the other church was in the hood and the stories the people there could tell would break your heart.

i loved all three communities.

one day we were out looking for something to eat at one of the local eating establishments in the hood. i can't remember which one we tried first, but when we pulled up to it there was a sign on the door explaining that they were closed for one reason or another. it then said, "Thank You for the Inconvenience."

strangely enough the word inconvenience was spelled correctly.

it has become a catch-phrase with hubby and me. one of those in-jokes that couples have. he knows exactly what i mean when i say it and vice-versa.

i had the opportunity to use it last night to describe my experience picking up prescriptions at our local cvs. i have been having terrible luck with them the last few times that i have had to deal with the pharmacy. we keep talking about switching to rite-aid, but cvs is closer and right next to several other stores we frequent.

i had 3 scripts to pick up and it took them so long to wait on customers in line ahead of me that i also had to buy the gummy worms inconveniently located right in the sight of the silent prince who i intended to get dinner for immediately following picking up our scripts.

by the time we got out of there and bought our dinner and took it home the prince was no longer interested in eating because he had consumed too many gummy worms.

he was a sticky mess and i decided to feed him the several different meds that he has to take (including the stool softener that i had to get for him and the antibiotics that he has to take for his up-teenth ear infection since having the tubes put in.)

so i give him his abilify (which is working great) and the laxative (which still hasn't worked yet) and then i go to get out the antibiotics from the little white bag and the only thing in the bag are two liquid medicine dispensers. i look at the bag again and notice that the word "fridge" is written on the bag, meaning that the antibiotics need to be refrigerated and were most likely still in the fridge at the cvs.

i look at the sticky silent prince who is so ready to take a bath and go to bed and say, "thank you for the inconvenience."

we go back to the cvs which is conveniently located two doors down from the liquor store and decided to make a pit-stop. smirnoff now makes cosmos, mojitos, and pomegranate martinis already conveniently mixed in bottles... thank you very much.

back inside the cvs we again waited in line, but this time i didn't put the prince in a cart so instead we stood there turning in circles while 5 employees slowly waited on one customer at a time.

sure enough the meds were in the fridge.

at least i got a pretty good cosmo out of the deal.

God's peace y'all

abilify

2008-07-14T18:12:00.003-05:00

did you know that there are words that are copyrighted? i don't mean strings of words put together into sentences and paragraphs and stories. i mean individual words. i'm guessing the word ability is one of them otherwise the medication we have just started giving the silent prince would have been called: abiliTy rather than abiliFy.

we went to see the kids' doctor (fiscus) the other day. i periodically schedule these appointments because we never just get him when we go for sick visits or other little issues. he is an incredible guy and we knew from the moment we first met him that we wanted him to be our children's doctor. he spent about a 1/2 hour with us starting when he came out into the waiting room to call us back. i've never had a doctor do that before (with the exception of my chiropractor who really needs an receptionist.)

i had a list of things i wanted to go over with him including getting a prescription for pull-ups. (still don't know if the insurance will cover it or not.) one of the things that we wanted to talk about was putting the prince on meds which would help him focus and calm him down. the developmental pediatrician we had seen back in march had sugested doing this and we had finally gotten up the nerve to talk to fiscus about it.

he suggested that using something like riddlin would be counter-productive. meds like riddlin would help the prince concentrate more, but according to fiscus chances are he would start to concentrate on the behaviors we don't want him to do. autistic kids can become a bit ocd on things like riddlin and focus all their attention on things like banging their heads against a wall, or spinning, or flicking things, or any other stimming behavior that they do. (the prince doesn't bang his head... but he does bite and i'd rather he not concentrate all his energy on that behavior.)

so instead fiscus suggested that we try an anti-psychotic called abilify.

so far we are on day 3 and have had 2 side effects. the first side effect is that he has been a bit constipated. which means he has pooped once in 2 1/2 days. this from a kid who i have considered sticking a cork in his butt (only jokingly, don't call any hotlines on me) to keep him from going 5- 10 times a day. i think i have mentioned that poop is a major part of my life and i'd like to undergo a real life-change in this regard.

the other side effect is that every day so far he has taken a nap at about 4pm. he's sleeping right now. as i talked to the grandmom today about it she mentioned that he's really not too young to take naps. the fact of the matter is that he hasn't napped regularly since he was a baby. all this time... maybe he's been so hyper that he hasn't been able to nap when he has really needed to.

i'm really positive about this however. the fact of the matter is that i spent some time yesterday reading stories about people who put their autistic children on abilify and have seen unbelievable results. non-verbal children have even become verbal. and while i don't need my son to talk in order to love him or know that he loves me if this medicine is going to help him learn how to communicate better i will deal with the fact that he is napping in the afternoons and seems a little sluggish as his body adjusts to the meds.

he also has two loose teeth. i'm trying to figure out how i explain to the tooth fairy what to do with his teeth (whih hopefully will come out when i'm around and not when he's asleep.)

God's peace y'all

radio edit

2008-07-01T07:34:00.005-05:00

in high school i was in the drama club. my freshman year we did a play with a lot of profanity in it. (though i can't remember the name of the play i remember the entire story) the art teacher who also doubled as our set designer was a born again christian and insisted that we change most of the words to something else. basically we had to step down every word to another curse word. the f word was changed to "screw" the s word was changed to "damn."

it was actually pretty comical how many times we had to relearn lines for the sake of his sensitive ears.

panic at the disco is one of my favorite bands. they have a song called, "i write sins not tragedies" which uses the phrase God-damn.

i love words even words that can be very ugly and feel that there is an appropriate place for all of them, especially in art. i can also curse like a sailor, but there are certain phrases that i would prefer not be played on the radio and this is one of them mostly because my kids are exposed to the same music i listen to.

so the other day i turned on my car radio because i forgot to bring along my ipod and this song came on. i expected an edit. what i didn't expect was which word they would edit. at first i thought i heard it wrong. sometimes when they bleep out a word you can still sort-of hear it, but then it happened again.

apparently "God" is the more offensive piece of that phrase because that's the word that was edited out.

it was like stepping down the phrase... we did the same exact thing in our highschool play with this particular profanity. but if the purpose of a radio edit is to clean up the language of a song then why choose "God" to be the word they clean up?

ah well...

*bleep* peace y'all

some welcome

2008-06-30T07:30:00.002-05:00

i've been wicked busy since the princess kitty's birthday party and almost all of it was blog-worthy (especially the silent prince taking a hunk out of my friend's wedding cake before the pictures were taken.)

last week we spent in new hampshire at a place called camp calumet. we were all there (including the kids and mel our babysitter extraordinaire) for confirmation camp. which meant that we were there with a bunch of 12-14 year olds from all over new england. it was a great week and while there were some mishaps it went much better than i expected it to.

7 churches joined forces to teach all the kids about prayer and the kids really responded to what we were teaching. i talked about it in my sermon yesterday.

when we got to camp we were welcomed with songs, cheers, games, and an ice cream social. the next day when we gathered for our learning time we told the kids about a group of 16 year old boys who were travelling to calumet this week. there were supposed to be 10 of them from our companion synod the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Jordan and the Holy Land. they were going to be at camp for a week then visit with some families and go see new york city before retuning to their homes in palestine.

except that only 5 boys were granted permission from the israeli government to leave their homes and travel here. there was no reason for them not to be allowed to come except that they are palestinian.

the kids we were teaching made them prayer beads, enough to give to the boys left behind and more to others living in that choas. we wanted them to know that we were praying for them.

the next day we were given an update. the 5 boys and their male adult leader had safely landed at JFK to make their connecting flight further north but had missed the flight.

because they were detained, questioned, and strip searched.

and to make matters worse there wasn't another flight for them to take until the next day, nor was their a hotel for them to stay in so they spent the night at JFK airport.

let me just contrast these welcomes one more time...

ice cream social --- strip search

sleeping in a cabin out in the woods --- sleeping on a chair in an airport

the kids at camp didn't understand at first why these boys were detained until i jumped up and got on my soap box.

it's because they were from... palestine
and most people from palestine are... muslim
and most people believe muslims are... terrorists

we could see it begin to sink in. 12-14 year olds get it. at 12-14 years of age they understand what it feels like to be judged based on how you look or how you act or where you are from or what you believe. they get it and they were as horrified and angry as i was.

and i hope they remember.

God's peace y'all

everybody was kung fu fighting - panda style

2008-06-14T18:01:00.002-05:00

or... prepare for awesomeness!

even though the princess kitty turned 9 at the end of may we didn't have her birthday party until today. usually we do a joint party for both kids because they are about 1 1/2 months apart. this means that the princess kitty hasn't had her own birthday party since she was 2. (her brother was about 1 1/2 months old for her 3rd birthday).

she's asked for a theme party for years now and hubby and i have avoided it up until this year. i don't have any recollection of how i came up with the idea of a movie party, but that's what we did. she had 9 of her friends (though i was expecting 11) go to the movie theatre with her to see kung fu panda.

i've been stressing about this for weeks now. first of all... it's expensive. far more expensive than putting hot dogs and burgers on the grill and asking grandmom to bring a salad while the kids run around the back yard until it is time for cake.

at first we were going to see narnia; prince caspian, but wound up deciding that kung fu panda was a better choice. this is fine except that kung fu panda just came out and i wasn't sure of the exact showing time until yesterday. i put a deposit down weeks ago and was told that i could use the party room... no problem. i even stopped by the mall yesterday to make certain that we were all set since everytime i called or went by no one seemed very on top of things.

when i arrived there today with 10 minutes to set up there was another party going on in the party room. i was livid. i had been planning this for weeks and no one did more than write my name down on a scrap of paper and assure me that they would be ready for me when we arrived.

at 1:00pm, when the party was supposed to start, they were roping off a corner of the lobby next to the bathrooms and the video games for us to use and were setting up tables for us. i wanted to be mad, but the manager was so flustered because the other party was supposed to be there the week before and changed their plans and no one informed him that we were also coming. when i asked what my discount would be he told me he wouldn't charge me for the party room to which i responded, "that's good because i wouldn't pay you for the party room."

strangely enough after that everything was great. one mom stayed and they refunded her her money for the ticket she bought and moments before we were supposed to go in to see the movie they invited us to see a 3:00 showing and took us on a tour of the projection room where the manager showed us how movies are loaded onto these enormous projectors and then cut pieces of film and gave each girl a piece.

they then ate up $30+ (i lost track) of quarters playing video games and went in to see the movie each with a box of popcorn, drink, and skittles.

the movie was great except for the 1/3 of the middle that i missed taking girls to the bathroom. and best of all the princess kitty had a blast and said her day was, "AWESOME!" which fits perfectly with the tagline of the movie: prepare for awesomeness.

all the girls had a great time. and this just makes me so happy since the kitty has been having trouble with friendships in school. there weren't any spats or fights or tears. she even had 3 girls who she desperately wanted to come say they could come at the last minute. (one family had trouble with their answering machine and called us this morning hoping they could still come.)

and now one friend who she doesn't ever get to see is spending the night.

and i feel like a good mom who was able to make her daughter's day really special.

God's peace y'all!

HE DID IT!!!

2008-06-10T14:42:00.004-05:00

one of the worst parts about having a child who is non-verbal is knowing how to potty train them. how do you teach a child how to go to the bathroom if they can't tell you they have to go?

this means that potty training is trip training. you just take them over and over again and hope they catch on. the bad part is trying to catch on as a parent to when they have to go so that no big messes are made.

we regularly have to clean up poop. it is G0d-awful. he doesn't understand that he shouldn't play with it and if we are in another room when he goes...

... well, like today. i was sitting in the kitchen reading jenny mccarthy's book about her son evan. someone had just given it to me yesterday and i am almost done it. the silent prince is home early because it is so horribly hot out that they had to dismiss school early.

he was fine one moment and by the time i read the next chapter i realized he was covered in what should be in his diaper. i took him upstairs, pulled his clothes off and stuck him in the tub then sat down on the toilet to read and keep my eye on him.

and don't you know that little bugger was pooping again. in the tub!!!

i pulled him out and put him on the potty. i want him to somehow get the connection between the toilet and what comes out of his butt.

and he started to pee. well, he's done that before, but then he pooped.

it's hard to understand the magnitude of something like this unless you've been there, but at 6 years old that was the first time he has ever gone #2 in the potty for me.

i know that potty training stories are typically in the realm of things you shouldn't discuss in mixed company and so be it. but this is a triumph for me, a landmark, a beacon that eventually things will get better and i had to share that.

God's peace y'all

too hot

2008-06-09T13:38:00.003-05:00

it is currently 90 degrees out and gas prices down the street are over $4.35/gallon.

i woke up this morning with every intention of going to the Y to walk on a treadmill in an air conditioned room. it is now 2:39 and i am still in the clothes i slept in and taking a brief interlude from work to write this.

i have a visit this evening at 7:30 and i don't think i'm going to get showered and dressed until right before i have to leave otherwise i will certainly be sweaty and stinky by the time i go for the visit.

meanwhile my brain is slowly melting and the knowledge that i still have computer work to do, that i have to go to the grocery store, do laundry, and return a way overdue movie is beginning to drain out of my ears into little puddles on my shoulders.

hubby is going to have to put the ac units in the windows tonight. at least the one in the silent prince's room. we can only crack his windows for safety issues so it is ungodly hot in his room. the princess kitty has been sleeping on his trundle bed for the last week or so. (she goes through phases i don't understand) which means that she is adding to the body heat in the room.

you know... maybe i will go jump in the shower and cool off. maybe that will help me think straight.

God's peace y'all

the next best thing

2008-06-02T20:37:00.003-05:00

i guess the next best thing to losing weight is having people believe that you have lost weight. twice now i've had people tell me that i look as though i have lost weight. of course my weight continues to fluxuate within 5 pounds. my scale also does body fat percentages and those seem to be going down. i take this as a good sign because it means that i'm turning fat into muscle. and the bottom line for me is that i want to be healthy no matter what weight i am.

we recently joined the YMCA. they give clergy discounts! (who said there are no more perks to this profession.) my fantastic uncle gave the kids and us a 3 month membership to try it out. and so far we've been taking advantage of it. going to the pool on a regular basis is wonderful, but they also have treadmills and other exercise equipment i can use when it's raining. but today was too nice of a day not to walk outside. and i am proud to say that i did 3 miles in 50 minutes, which is only 5 minutes over my goal of 15 minutes per mile.

i also bought some new exercise clothes today. 4 pairs of capri length sweats. i want to wear shorts, but i hate how i look in them. it's the baby belly and the j-lo butt that ruin the experience of shopping for any clothes that cover from the waist down. i just can't bring myself to even think aout trying on any shorts that are "in" currently since none of them pass the fingertip test. (meaning that if you put your hands to your side the bottom of the shorts falls below your fingertips.) i was thrilled when i found the capris. they're comfy, light, and look great on me. i got two pairs in 2 styles for under $60 at fashion bug. funny how i never shop there, but everytime i do i find a favorite article of clothing to add to my closet. i still have a shirt that i bought there 2 years ago that i love and wish i had gotten in 4 different colors!

hubby made fun of the pants, asking me where the flood was. he thinks he's hip and with it (editor's note: i understand that using terms like "hip" and "with it" place me in a similar category as i've just placed hubby in, but so-be-it), but capri pants throw him off completely even though the stores are now full of them. of course being that i am 5'2" most capris look like full length pants on me anyway.

well, it is now time to go make lunches and dig through the piles of clean laundry for the kids' outfits for tomorrow.

God's peace y'all!

Memorial Day

2008-05-27T15:13:00.002-05:00

yesterday was the first time i have gone to the local memorial day parade. for as small as a town as i live in the parade is huge and draws people from all over the state. the princess kitty and hubby marched with her soccer team and the silent prince and i met up with two members of my church who were watching in order to see their vietnam vet march.

i was asked to to the invocation at the ceremony afterwards. (i almost did the invocation and the benediction, but the other pastor was there.)

i always find this task somewhat daunting, not because i'm out in public, but because i really want what i say to be meaningful.

this was my prayer:

Let us pray.
Oh God as we gather to celebrate this beautiful day, to enjoy a parade, and spend time with family and friends may we also pause to remember...

As we gather to remember all those we have died serving this country let us also be reminded of your steadfast love, your wondrous spirit, and your abundant gifts of grace and freedom.

As we gather to remember let us also gather in gratitude for all those who have fallen and in gratitude of the promise that you do not leave any of us behind, but collect us up into your arms.

As we gather to remember their sacrifice let us also remember your sacrifice so that we are encouraged to be generous towards others with our gifts.

As we gather to remember let us also gather to forget war and look to you for true and lasting peace.

We pray this in your holy name. Amen.

God's peace y'all and many thanks to all those who have served in the military and those who are serving now.

am i really that warped?

2008-05-21T17:56:00.002-05:00

every year when we go to the obx (outer banks, nc for those of you who don't know) for vacation i buy hubby a t-shirt to memorialize the trip. )i usually make him buy me jewelry).

last year i bought him a t-shirt he has yet to wear. i had forgotten all about it until today when i was looking for a nice big baggy t-shirt to walk in and opened his closet to steal one and there it was. (i can also say that later on when he saw me in it he didn't even accuse me of stealing like he usually does.)

pirates are a big theme at the obx. i have one of those oval shaped bumper stickers with a jolly rogers and the statement that "Women who behave rarely make history." on my car. and i have a baseball hat with the jolly roger on it too which i usually wear to walk in as well.

the t-shirt has a pirate/jolly roger theme. i think it's hysterical. in fact when i was shopping with my sister-in-law, slick, she and i were in hysterics when we saw it.

on the back it has a skull and crossbone and it saws: "Hi. I'm Roger. I'll be flogging you today."

hubby didn't get it neither did the people i work with. i think they are pretty smart people with good senses of humor. in fact when i married hubby i told my mother-in-law that i was going to laugh for the rest of my life because hubby is that funny.

the only conclusion i can come to is that slick and i just have terribly warped senses of humor.

ah well, at least i am in good company.

God's peace y'all

of mexican food, coffee, chocolate, and bullet-proof glass

2008-05-13T14:15:00.011-05:00

it's been too long since i have blogged. i finished my detox, what seems like weeks ago. in fact it was only a little over a week ago. hubby rewarded me by taking me out to lunch for mexican food. i had chicken with pipian sauce, refried beans and spanish rice with a mango margarita. i walked an extra mile that day and tried to eat sensibly the rest of the day. but i also got to have a cup of coffee again and chocolate... oh how i missed coffee and chocolate!

of course the next day i attended a special lunch at the highschool where i was served pasta, salad with lots of dressing on it (i'm now used to having my salads naked), and a homemade chocolate chip ice cream sandwich.

the lunch was given by the special ed department at the highschool because we have kids from one of their programs come to the church to work 3 times a week to give them experience in order to transition into the workforce after they graduate. the food was all made by them and i didn't want to offend anyone by not eating. i especially didn't want to offend any of them by not eating the chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwich.

then that night we had a dinner at church for the kids that are being confirmed this coming sunday. i made lasagna and since i haven't had any of my lasagna in years i decided i would eat a nice piece of it and walk it off the next day.

friday hubby and i drove to philly for what is called a "beef and beer." had i blogged about the end of the detox previously and then our trip this post would have been titled: "of beef and beer and bullet-proof glass."

first of all the trip was horrendous. it should have taken 3 1/2 hours to get there, but 3 1/2 hours into the trip and we were about half-way there from the bumper to bumper traffic that kept us going an average of 30 miles per hour. i felt like kissing the ground when we finally arrived.

the purpose of the trip was to go to a fund raiser for my future godchild who is going to be adopted by friends of ours (and also the silent prince's godparents). since it costs an incredible amount of money to adopt they decided to have a beef and beer which is basically a party where you buy tickets to eat pasta (though they do sometimes have some sort of beef) and drink beer. you also have autions and raffles and dancing.

by the time we finally got there all that was left to eat of dinner was some lukewarm stuffed shells and lots of dessert. i had a stuffed shell and a piece of cheesecake and something that tasted like a peanut butter kandy kake made by tastykake (another philly tradition).

still we had a great time and i even danced the twist with the mother of the mother-to-be. i was disappointed though not to be given my jack rabbit flash trophy after wards.

we hung out with the parents of our godchild after the party for a bit before sending them on their way home and us driving to our hotel. this is the part of the post that deals with the bullet-proof glass, which is what the people working at the hotel were standing behind when we went to check in.

now i grew up in philly and still love it despite the fact that this time last year it had the highest murder rate in the country. i lived in newark, nj the year it was rated the most violent city in america... but the fact that i had to hand my driver's license to a guy behind bullet-proof glass in order to check in to a hotel kinda freaked me out a little.

it got worse from there. the only ammenity in the hotel room was the tv remote unless you count the bottle opener that was crewed on to the back of the bathroom door and, ok, the shampoo and soaps they left for us in the bathroom.

it was midnight by the time we got there and we wound up staying up much too late. since there was no alarm clock hubby set his phone to go off at 7am. at 9am when we both woke up hubby said he was going to pull on his clothes and grab some coffee from the continential breakfast in the lobby.

he walked out of the room at 9:08 and returned at 9:09 to say that breakfast was over and the only thing left were crumbs on the counter. i told him to throw his things in the suitcase so that we could get the hell out of there and find a wawa for coffee and donuts.

the trip home was far better than the trip there even with the 30 minute wait over the george washington bridge. and of course i gained back all the weight i had lost, but that's ok. i'm still eating healthy, walking almost every day, and i feel great!

keep happy thoughts going for the wonderful parents of my soon-to-be godchild.

God's peace y'all

is it still a detox if...

2008-05-03T20:14:00.002-05:00

i am doped up on allergy meds and cough drops?

the coughing started friday and hasn't stopped. when i checked the pollen forecast for my area it looked more like the government's warning system telling us that terrorists had attacked and we were all going to die horrible deaths.

i'm sure my throat looks as though terrorists have already been there. it now hurts to talk and has felt this way all day. this doesn't bode well for me since sundays are the one day i have to talk and the fact that i have been sucking on ricola drops like my life depended on them doesn't help.

i only have 2 days left on the detox. when i woke up yesterday i decided not to walk even though i had gotten up to 3 miles a day. i was exhausted and misreable from not really sleeping the night before. last night was worse though. in between waking myself up from coughing the princess kitty couldn't sleep and made sure i knew that twice during the night and the silent prince chimed in at least once that he wasn't happy.

i want to feel better by tuesday when hubby says he will take me out for mexican food to celebrate the end of the detox. but as i said before... am i still detoxing if i've replaced my daily salad and 8 glasses of water with benedryl, robitussin, and nyQuil just to get me through my day? and if i am really no longer detoxing because of all the crap i am taking... can't i just go have a bowl of ice cream to numb my throat?

guess i'll just suck on another ricola.

God's peace y'all

just walkin' in the rain

2008-04-29T10:22:00.002-05:00

i hadn't walked since friday morning. i was too tired on saturday after the day we had on friday and sunday just didn't work. yesterday i got up and got dressed, headed downstairs and opened the back door to see what it was like outside and saw a duck float by. well, not really, but it was pouring. this is good since we needed the rain, but i had hoped that it would wait to fall until later in the day.

this morning i wanted to stay in bed, but decided that i had to get up and walk. the only thing that would keep me from it would be the same kind of rain as yesterday. it was drizzling out, but that was it. i asked hubby if he thought i would get sick if i walked and he told me no, according to scientists, but yes, according to everyone else. so i went.

there was only one person fishing and two people walking. it wasn't raining at first, but it was definitely damp out and thankfully the water level of the pnd had drastically increased. it stared to rain when i hit 2 miles, but today i kept going. i walked 3 miles!!! and though i expected 2 miles to be hard since i hadn't walked since friday it wasn't hard at all to go 3 miles!

now if i could just get over the sugar cravings...

God's peace y'all

my own private cheering section

2008-04-26T10:04:00.002-05:00

the princess kitty had her tonsils and adenoids out yesterday, but surgery wasn't until 1pm so she and hubby decided to come with me for my walk. i made certain that they understood that what i was doing was not a leisurely stroll and that they had to take it seriously. so we got in the car and drove to the pond where there is also a playground and tennis courts.

hubby had never been there before though the kitty often goes there on field trips with day care during the summer. i put on my ipod and headed out for my walk while the two of them leisurely walked around and stopped to observe nature. as i passed them on my first of 6 laps they stood to the side and started to cheer me on. i laughed and kept moving. each time i passed them they did something a little different. the kitty held out her hand like she was holding a microphone to interview me and hubby did a one person wave.

one my 5 th lap another woman walking noticed them and mentioned to me that i had a nice cheering section. i told her i should bring them with me every time i walked. when we finished, hubby the kitty, and i cheered her on when she passed us by the parking lot.

the poor kitty was pretty hungry when we got home. all she could have was water and apple juice before 11am. she got very angry at me when she walked into the kitchen and found me eating breakfast, but she was a trooper.

she had agreed to be part of a study at the teaching hospital where she had her tonsils out. the study measured stress factors in children having surgery. the good news was that this meant that i could go into the OR with her.

typically they give kids a liquid med that makes them very sleepy and relaxes them before they take them (sans parents) to the OR. instead i got to don a paper gown and surgical hair net and walk the princess kitty into the OR with the resident who is working on the study and the anesthesiologist. the kitty was amazing. she didn't even walk with me but skipped ahead to walk with the doctor. she got into the OR, hopped up onto the table, and took the mask from the dr all by herself.

they were amazed by her bravery and she and i have probably thrown off the study results.

unfortunately she threw up from the anesthesia after the surgery while they were still in the OR, the again several times in recovery. this blew all our chances of leaving by 4pm, which was a possibility. a little before 5pm we thought we would be going home and we had slowly started to make arrangements to that effect when she said she need to go to the bathroom. she made it there and back just fine, but then suddenly all the color in her face drained and the anesthesiologist came in and said she couldn't leave until she had eaten a popsicle and kept it down. they put her on more meds for the nausea and i left to go pick up the silent prince from grandmom and grandpop's house.

by 7pm they released her and i picked her and daddy up from the hospital and took them home.

poor thing needs some pain killers now.

God's peace y'all

day 8

2008-04-21T18:59:00.003-05:00

yesterday ended my first week on the detox which means today begins my second week. i'm feeling very good except that i haven't lost one ounce yet. in fact when i got on the scale yesterday i had gained 2 pounds! if someone could explain that one to me i would appreciate it.

i found a really nice place to walk yesterday about a 2 minute drive from the house. i would walk there, but i live on a very large bump on a serious hill. if i walked at this point in the game i would wind up calling someone to come pick me up after i arrived there. there's a little pond where people can fish with a track around it. every lap is 1/3 of a mile. half-way through my 5th lap i was really excited with myself that i only had one more lap and i would have walked 2 miles. i hit the point where i could take a step forward on the track and do that last lap or take a step to the right and go to the parking lot and get back in my car when i suddenly felt very dizzy. i knew if i tried to do that last lap i would wind up passing out and one of the fishers would call an ambulance that i didn't need.

so i went back to the car, drank the rest of my water and headed home to eat the rest of the breakfast i guess i should have eaten before walking.

today i purposefully woke up at 8am so that i could get a walk in before other things had to happen. for those of you who know me personally: no, there are no pods in the basement. i haven't been taken over by aliens. i really did get up at 8am to go exercise.

at about the same point on lap 5 i thought the same exact thing as yesterday: 1 more lap to go and i've walked 2 miles. then at the same point in lap 5 as yesterday i started to feel dizzy and light-headed. i walked back to the car and had a big drink of water and the rest of my morning shake then walked that last lap!!!

as i finished i had the strange desire to do the rocky dance on top of the art museum steps. i didn't though, figuring the fishers would find it way too odd and wonder what was wrong with me. instead i got in the car and called my brother, lrns. the voice mail picked up right away and i chastized him for not waiting by the phone in case i might call at 9:30am for the first time ever in our lives.

then i called idad on his iphone and had to talk to his phone as well. feeling deflated that i couldn't share my accomplishment with anyone i ran into hubby on the road a block and 1/2 away from home. we pulled up to one another and i rolled down my window thinking, he loves me, he'll listen and be proud of me when he pointed to his ear to signal that he was on the phone with someone else. i made the sign for i love you with my hand, which was nicer than that other sign i could have made with my hand and drove around the corner.

i then stopped in church, the head teacher, mag, is also on a fitness kick and so i told her my news and she very nicely supported my ego, which was all i really wanted.

happy sigh, now i think i will go shower and get moving on with my day.

God's peace y'all

rhymes with witch

2008-04-19T19:12:00.002-05:00

i couldn't have been in a worse mood yesterday. no one could do anything that was pleasing to me and everything they did do just really made me mad as anything.

i know that it is the detox that's making me crazy, but i'm beginning to feel bipolar with the mood swings from the cravings that my body is having. today wasn't much better except that i had to be at a conference which meant that i had to wear my game face anyway. usually that isn't too difficult of a problem except that i was certainly pushed to my limit when i realized that there were hershey's kisses spread on the tables we sat in for lunch.

i thought i could handle it, but i was already hungry and we had to listen to people talk before i could pull out my non-dressed salad for lunch. the only thing that saved me from scooping up every kiss and eating them wrapper and all was that there were people at the table who knew i was detoxing and therefore couldn't have any chocolate.

the worst part is that it is the silent prince's birthday (no, not a bad thing that he turned 6 today) but it was very hard to watch him and his sister eat cupcakes after eating brown rice and unseasoned and un-fried flounder. (at least it was something other than chicken.) and here i am complaining aboout detoxing rather than talking about his turning 6! some mom i am!

but day 5 is almost over. there were moments today when i felt good about what i was doing like at the grocery store when i looked into my basket and saw all the healthy, lovely fruits and veggies (of course i forgot the baby carrots) and earlier when i realized that i do want to continue to eat well after day 21 is over.

i'm also realizing that i need to find replacements for all the bad things i put into my system for comfort. a banana just isn't as good as a bag of m&m's and carrot sticks just aren't as good as a bag of doritos. and i gotta do that before day 21 or i'm just going to go back to eating the way i did a week ago. mmm doritoes and m&m's.

i am planning to go out for mexican once i'm done. i am fantasizing about that meal like a politician fantasizes about call girls.

and on that note...

God's peace y'all

happily-ever-after-life

2008-04-17T12:14:00.002-05:00

cinderella the cat is dead. she must have died sometime last night on my closet floor. which was a pleasant suprise for me this morning when i went to pick out clothes before i took my shower.

"cindy..." nudge nudge... "oh, $#@&."

luckily hubby was in the backyard already and could go dig a hole. she was completely stretched out and wouldn't fit in a box so i had to wrap her up in a cut up paper bag. hubby has also volunteered to break the bad news to the princess kitty later tonight. i wonder if i shouldn't go get ice cream to help the news go down.

sigh

God's peace y'all

i want a cookie

2008-04-15T20:11:00.003-05:00

today was my official start date for the detox. i used yesterday as a transition day. by 3pm i had a migraine from lack of caffeine and made myself a cup of tea (i wasn't going to brew a whole pot of coffee.)

i picked up all the stuff this morning and met with the nutritionist, c'marie. it took me 20 minutes to organize all the supplements that i have to take in a day: 48 to be exact. thank God for the pill case she gave me or i would be a mess trying to remember it all. it's kinda cool with a sticky pad inside so i can remember what's what.

i can drink all the green tea i want even the kind with caffeine! whoopie! i can even have salt so long as it is sea salt! whoo-hoo! i can even use organic unsalted butter! the grocery store doesn't sell unsalted organic butter, just the salted. boo-hoo!

i actually feel really good today except for all the cravings i am experiencing... like my deep deep desire for a cookie. i'm thinking that by the end of this sugar will still be the one thing i want on a daily basis.

all well, think i'll go much on some grapes and pack lunch for the princess kitty.

God's peace y'all

driving observations

2008-04-12T15:06:00.003-05:00

i had a road trip yesterday to pennsylvania. i stopped and visited the parents of my soon-to-be-adopted godchild and then went to visit a college friend and her intended to do a pre-marital visit with them.

there were a few things i noticed on the trip there and back.

1. i am not a timid or slow driver. if you really feel you need to pass me, you are driving too fast. slow the you-know-what down and get off my butt.

2. the left lane is for passing. if you are steadily going the speed limit or slightly under it, get out of the left lane.

3. north jersey smells. especially around exits 13&14 of the new jersey turnpike. yesterday it smelled like someone had made a salad of rotten eggs and old socks then dressed it with petrol.

4. the north jersey smell can penetrate into your car even if you have all the windows shut and no fans blowing. breathing through your mouth helps, but only enough to keep you from gagging.

5. the sign over the george washington bridge that said i wasn't allowed to take pictures while driving across the bridge is missing (either that or i missed it.) this might mean the end of my dream to get a picture of that sign someday.

6. new york needs to turn off their street lights during the day. they are useless during the daytime, even when it is overcast.

7. i hate, with a passion, driving at night in the rain. this might not have been so bad in new york if perhaps the street lights that were on during the day were also on at night.

8. spending almost $100 on gas just to see a few friends for a short time is still worth it.

God's peace y'all

toxic

2008-04-08T15:16:00.002-05:00

the bursitis is back. i was at the chiropractor today and we are certain that, while it isn't as bad as the first time that's exactly what it is.

the question is why do i have it again.

the obvious answer is stress.

it started during holy week, which, let's be honest, is a stressful time. but if i am completely honest then i also have to admit that i don't take very good care of my body. i don't eat or sleep well and i never get any exercise...

so, her suggestion: go through a detox.

i've seen the nutritionist and we have agreed that i should start a 3 week program of cleaning out my system.

i don't know when i will start, but clearly i'd better do it soon before i lose my nerve. 3 weeks without caffeine or sugar is going to take some willpower.

so wish me luck. i'm sure there will be plenty to write about during this.

God's peace y'all