driving me crazy on 18 wheels

Work, work, work, it never ends

2005-08-30T21:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, I always have something to do. The day before yesterday, I had to fix our air conditioner, as it had froze up. I opened it up, and cleaned it out good, and that seemed to help it. Gotta have our air conditioner here in hot Texas. But I think I got a little too much sun, as I had one hell-of-a-headache later that day. I had to fix under our bed, as it was full of books, and the pieces of wood holding up the plywood came apart. Then I installed a couple of wall outlets for the Directv coaxle cables. This way we don't have to run it up through our window. Then just today, part of our toilet broke, the part that puts water in the toilet. So, something else to fix. I also put a door knob on the kids door. One with a lock on it, of course. So it always seems there is something for me to do here. I guess a "To do list" just never ends.

I think I'll include a picture here of what I feel like when I have so much to do.

I guess it's because I don't have much of the following.

When my wife comes home, I think I'll take a lot of pictures of our 5th wheel and pick-up truck, so you can see how we live.

Right now we are keeping our friends little dog. His name is Dallas & he is a Jack Russell/Chiwawa.( Sorry, don't know how it's spelt.) He is a tiny little dog, scared of his own shadow. He is so jittery, the slightest little sound spooks him.

I suppose that's all I have to talk about right now. I don't know what the future holds for us here, but I know who holds the future. I just take one day at a time. It's going to be interesting how the next few months turn out for us.

I'm still here and alive and well

2005-08-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. I'm still here and doing well. It's hard to write everyday on my blog, as most days I guess I just don't have much to say. But I enjoy writing, and I know some of you enjoy reading some of the things I write.

Basically, I haven't been doing too much, that is, not much hard physical labor. But if you know me at all, you know I find it hard to sit still and do nothing.

Yesterday, my older brother and two of his friends came over to visit me. I haven't seen him in 34 years. Tony, (that's my older brother), is sick and might have cancer of the pancreas. If you can, please say a prayer or two for him. I know if it's the Lords' will, He can heal him.

After they left, I went and changed the pads and rotors on the little subaru car we have. So I do some physical work. But I have to watch myself. Whenever I get gunho about something, I start having these pains in my chest, so I have to stop and slow it down. I really pray that this piece of metal they put in my blood vessel won't give me any trouble.

I've been taking a lot of vitamins daily, and actually feel real good. I get out everyday and go for a 30 minute walk, and do a few weight lifting exercises.

Life here on earth is a challenge every day, and we just need to take it easy, not get too stressed out slaving for the god almighty dollar, and just rest a bit. For me, it is a whole new lifestyle I need to adapt. I know I have lot's of debts, and very little money coming in, but I'm not going to worry about it.

I wish I had something profound to say, but I don't. I'm just another human being trying to make it in this crazy world. But I know our attitudes towards things will help us a lot. In other words, we need to have a positive outlook. I still think I can win the lottery, or win some money from one of these scratch off games. And even if no one else does, I can still keep dreaming, and one day it will come true. So, if I keep a positive attitude, I know things will work out.

Starting over again

2005-08-05T17:58:00.000-05:00

Life is a little different for me now. I always feel I'm a heartbeat away from my eternal home. I've gotten some encouraging words from the Lord, so I think I'll be here for a while longer. At least I'd like to be here for a while longer. As most of you know, I'm usually a go getter, working hard, doing it all myself, etc. But now I have to go slower and get a routine down of things I do each day. One of the most important things I do is to make sure I take the vitamins my body needs so I can get healed, and to fight the drugs that I have to take for now. I don't want to stay on these perscription drugs, they do have side effects that aren't good. I also get out everyday and take a 30 minute walk. At first it was hard, and I would have pain in my chest which would go up the sides of my throat. But if I walked a little slower and took it a little easier, the pain would go away. The last few times I've walked, it's been ok.
I've been doing a lot of reading about the heart and how it works, and what causes heart attacks, etc. It's all very interesting. One thing I do know is that the pharmaceutical companies, the legal drug dealers, do not want you to get well. They don't want to find cures to diseases, they want you to stay sick. They are a trillion dollar industry, making tons of money on sick people. If there were cures to heart disease, stroke, and all the rest, they would be out of business and out of money. The doctor I went to see here in Houston told me I would have to take lipitor(for high cholesterol) for the rest of my life. (Cholesterol is not the cause of heart attacks, more on that later). A one weeks supply, which is 7 pills cost $23.99. This is $3.42 a pill. Multiply this by 52 weeks in a year, and it comes to $1,247.48. If I live another 20 years it comes to $24, 949.60. And this is just one of the pills they want me to take. They want me to take 2 other pills too. So you can see how without them doing anything but making a little pill, which doesn't cost them that much too make, they have money coming in for a long time. And I am just one of millions who have heart disease. But, it can be reversed and healed. I won't take the time here to tell you all about it, but there are some good books on the subject written by medical doctors who do not like the drug companies. These are honest doctors who want a cure for diseases, who truly want to help their fellow man, and not just make a fortune off of the sicknesses of others. I'm reading a book now called "Why animals don't get Heart Attacks....but people do!" This is written by Matthias Rath, M.D. (I finally took the time to insert a link the right way.)

I could go on and on, but I will stop here. Maybe tomorrow I'll write more about it. Just know this, that if you have been diagnosed with heart disease, you can be healed from it.

Be good everyone and enjoy life. Until tomorrow.

Peace and love to everyone

2005-08-03T15:23:00.000-05:00

Sorry for not blogging. I know it's a good thing to do, and I know some of you read what I say. I suppose I've been preoccupied with staying alive. Literally. I know I have to take it easy and not get too stressed out. It's bad for my heart and I don't want another heart attack. One reason I've not been blogging much is I've been reading a lot of web sites concerning the heart. I just don't relish having another heart attack. Even though mine was mild, it was still rather tramatic. But I don't want to bore anyone with that.

I just want to say to my family and extended family that I love all of you, unconditionally. It doesn't matter what you did before or what you are doing now, you are loved. You sort of see things differently when you go through what I went through. I know I could have died, but the Lord had other reasons for keeping me here longer. I almost feel I'm living on borrowed time.

Just to mention a couple of things, Loxy, your bathroom looks fantasic, you do have a talent for being a "handywomen". You did a great job. I'd love to see it in person.

Spike, your second comment was the right one. Ha. I had to laugh over that one. Good job.

Charlock, I read your post that had the 22 comments on it. Wow! I wish I could get 22 comments on one of my post. It looks like you opened a can of worms, though. It was a thought provoking post. Perhaps one day I could tell you some of the "things" that happened to me. I read once on one of the exfamily sites, something that happened to this girl, and I had to agree with her, because some of the things she suffered, happened to me too. You should have tried to get a picture of that clown, though, the one who tried to run you over. Ha!

Roses are Blue, I read all of your comments on that 22 comment post. I'm not going to say you are right and they are wrong. I suppose it is a matter of perspective. But everyone has feeling for or against. You have conviction and you stand up for it, and that is good. Just follow your heart and do what you know in your heart to be right.

I hope I haven't offended anyone by anything I've said here. If I did, I didn't mean to.

Say a prayer for us, as I don't know how we are going to make it financially. No more big money. I will be reading a lot on real estate, so I can help Sandy. I know we can make good money investing in real estate. So far, no one has tried to reposes anything of ours. Oh, I'm sure everyone is curious on how much my hospital bill was. It came to $56,000.00. Hopefully I can get medicaid to cover it. If not, well, I could send them $20.00 a month for the rest of my life.

Be good everyone, and love one another.

I'm Home From the Hospital

2005-07-23T15:18:00.000-05:00

My release and escape from the hospital was accomplished yesterday in the late evening, around 10 pm. After they had taken so much blood out of me and they still didn't get any answers, they felt I wasn't worth keeping around. To my delight I was let go. Ha! Still gotta have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Actually, the people in the hospital were all very sweet. Sandy and Benjamin came to get me, and we drove back, arriving at our trailer around 3:30am. We went straight to bed. My dear sweet wife would not let me have sex with her. She was afraid I would have another heart attack. Bummers!! I gotta wait a while before engaging in my favorite pastime.

This morning we went to the store to get the drugs the doctor said I needed, and since there were 4 perscriptions, they would have cost me $420 for a one month supply. I told the lady, "Gee, you almost are giving me another heart attack". How can anyone afford these drugs. But you all know that is a whole big long story and a big racket for the drug companies. We ended up buying one week's supply, which still cost us $105.96. While we were waiting, we bought a couple of those scratch off games, and just won a couple of dollars, to help pay for the drugs. So as you can see, we are now into gambling and drugs.

On Monday, we will go and find a naturalpath doctor and take natural rememdies. We need to see if I can get any kind of disability pay, as I won't be driving for Landstar anymore. I can't drive for 6 months anyway after having a heart attack, so, the Lord must have something else for me to do. I guess now I will get into the Real Estate work with Sandy.

I do need to take it easy for at least the first 6 to 8 weeks, then slowly get back into a rhythm of doing work or whatever.

Thanks again for all your prayers and kind words. I suppose now I will need to find a new blog name for myself, since I won't be driving around the country any more. Any suggestions?

Prodded, Poked, Pricked, Sticking it in here and there

2005-07-22T11:46:00.000-05:00

Well, it's good to have a sense of humor at a time like this. Now for all of you guys with sex on your minds all the time, you'd probably think this is the title for an x-rated adult movie. Sorry to burst your balloons, but it is what happenes to me on a daily basis. The ever dreaded needles. I've told you how they keep giving me shots in the stomach area. When they gave me one last night, I told the nurse that I'd lost count of how many I'd had, to which he proceeded to count all the bruises on my stomach, and he came up with about the same number that I had. I think it's about 8 times. Now my stomach is only so big, and they are running out of fresh places to "PRICK" me. I pray none of you have to experiance a hospital stay.

So, we've learned that nurses, be they male or female, love to give shots. The next thing they love to do is take your blood. Hey, wait a minute, I need my blood in my body, quit taking it. They've used both my arms at the elbows for this, and now both of the backs of my hands. I've also noted that some nurses can do it better than others. (Drawing blood out of your body, that is, not the sexual thing you were thinking). The nurse that took blood the other day out of my hand I barely felt the pain, but this girl last night, Lord, did that ever hurt. I thought she was going to stick that needle right though my hand.

Once you've had a heart attack where one of your blood vessels have gotten clogged, you are put on blood thinners, and one drawback to this is that you bleed a lot more than normal. In other words, if I shave and cut my face, it will bleed for a day or so.

So, I'm not sure when I will be getting out of here, hopefully today, which is Friday, or maybe tomorrow. We will see. Again, thanks for everyone's prayers and thoughts. I appreciate them all.

I'm feeling fine, except everybody want's to poke me with needles

2005-07-21T13:33:00.000-05:00

Just to let everyone know, I'm feeling fine right now. I hope none of you have to have a long hospital stay, as it isn't fun sometimes. Yesterday, they transfered me out of the intensive care unit and took me a couple of floors up, to a private room with a shower. What a blessing it was to take a shower. They had to cover up all the needles in my arms with plastic bags so they wouldn't get wet, but other than that, it was a nice shower. But I didn't get much sleep, as someone would come in the room about every two hours to take my vital signs. And of course, the ever dreaded shot in my stomach. I had another one this morning. I think that is the 7th or 8th one. It's a blood thinning medicine. So now, whenever I cut myself, I bleed and it doesn't stop for a while. I shaved last night, and nicked myself, and if you can believe it, it is still bleeding this afternoon.

Around 4am this nurse, a black guy,( as a lot of the nurses here are males,) he came in and wanted to take some blood out of me. He proceeds to put a needle in my right arm, and I said, hey wait a minute, I already have a place in my left arm that they have been taking blood out of, what is wrong with that. He said he couldn't use that spot, so went ahead and stuck another needle in me. I'm just sore from all the needle poking that has been going on. So that morning I asked another nurse if she could take the needle out of my left arm, which was the original one the paramedics put in. She said sure, and as soon as she took it out, wow, all this blood came gushing out. It took about 5 minutes or so to stop the bleeding. I've been given a lot of blood thinning medicine, so I won't have a blood clot. The other drawback to this is I get super cold. I had two blankets on my bed, and I was shivering and my teeth were chattering, and I finally called a nurse in, and they put another 3 blankets on me to warm me up. I bet it was only about 73 degrees in my room, but it felt like it was 32 degrees below zero. Ha! Well, maybe now I'll be able to tolerate the hot Texas weather.

It looks like I might get released today, and if not, hopefully tomorrow. My advice to everyone is to exercise everyday without fail, at least 30 minutes of good hard cardio exercise. And watch what you eat. All of that stuff gets clogged up in your viens, and when it is in a major artery that goes to your heart, that is when you can suffer a heart attack, like I did. Thankfully for me, I only had one blood vessel that was blocked, and it did do some damage to my heart. But if I stay on the blood thinning medicine, and exercise and watch what I eat, I should last a little longer.

Again, thanks for everyones prayers. I appreciate them.

Sorry for not posting, I had a heart attack

2005-07-20T09:41:00.000-05:00

You never think it could happen to you, and when it does, it is surpising. But I did have pain in my chest about 2 or 3 months ago, espescially after I would do anything strenuous. I wasn't sure just what it was, I thought it was my heart, but I didn't want to admit it. I had high cholestoral, but ignored that. My advice to you, if you have pain in your chest, get in to see a doctor right away.

On monday morning, the 18th, I went to Kelly air force base in San Antonio, to unload the jet engine I had hauled from Travis AFB. After I took off the tarp and folded it up, I started noticing pain in my chest. Then when I was taking off the chains, it hurt even more. I thought I would just stop and rest and it would go away. Well, it didn't. I went and asked the crane operator if they had a hospital on the air base, as I was having chest pains, and that is when they called 911. In the meantime, I went inside where a nurse started to treat me before the paramedics arrived. When they got there, they tested me out, and gave me one nitroglycerine pill. It helped, and the pain went away. They said my heart was ok, but that I might have angina, a lack of oxygen going to the heart. They asked me what I wanted to do, and I said I feel ok, perhaps I will drive home and go see a doctor when I got home. Well, it wasn't two minutes later that the pain came back, and hurt even worse. I told them I better go with you guys. They took me to the hospital, gave me another nitro pill, which didn't help. When I got to the hospital, they gave me 2 more nitro pills, morphine, and other stuff. Nothing helped the pain and it got worse. Imust have waited about 3 or 4 hours before they took me to intensive care and said they were going to have to do an angioplast. What they do is right down at your groin, they shave you, then they stick a catheter into the large vien in your leg. They put dye in it so it will show up on the x-ray. They gave me some pills to kill the pain, and I didn't feel a thing when they did the procedure. I was able to watch the whole thing on the tv monitor as they were doing it. One of the major blood vessels going to the heart was clogged up, so no blood or oxygen was getting to the heart. Because of this, there was damage done to my heart. It is good they caught it when they did, else, I suppose I would have to be telling you this from the other side. I stayed in intensive care for that night, all day tuesday, and it is now wednesday morning, and they are saying they will keep me in here another day, just to watch me. I have three needles in my arms, have been hooked up to a lot of machines, and I think the thing that hurts the worse is when they give me a shot in the stomach. I've had 4 or 5 shots there, and it hurts. Last night, around 4 am, where they went in with the thing to clear open my blood vessel, down at the groin area, well it started to bleed a lot. I called the nurse in, where she immediatly started to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. I thought, Oh Lord, don't let me bleed to death, because they can't get this blood vessel to close up. There is always so much risk in this king thing.

I want to thank all you for praying for me, and to all the ones who came to see me in the hospital. Like I said, I more than likely won't be driving a truck again, at least not for a while. Landstar's policy is that if you've had a heart attack, you can't drive for at least 6 months. We will be praying about what we are going to have to do. This is going to be a big change in our livestye. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I'm sure the Lord has a plan for us. I will keep you all informed of my progress. I have to start on an exercise program right away, and eat super good foods. No more fast food joints.

Ok, I will talk with you all soon.

Another PS to the previous link

2005-07-17T15:48:00.000-05:00

When you go to the post with the picture in it and click on the title, scroll to the bottom of the page and it has a lot of pictures of the plane. In the bottom right hand corner there is a picture of a man getting ready to work on an engine. Here you will get an idea of how big the engine is that I'm hauling.

The previous post worked, somewhat

2005-07-17T15:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I got the picture I wanted, and if you click on the title, it will take you to a link all about the C-5A Transport plane. I'm not obsessed with this plane or anything like that, I just wanted you to see what it looks like. Enjoy the link.

PS. I did get some of my pictures put on cd's at wal-mart, so I hope to put some on here soon.

The Galaxy C-5A Transport plane.

2005-07-17T15:35:00.000-05:00

I'm testing some links and pictures for you. I hope this works. If not, please disregard my stupidity with computers.

Another military load

2005-07-17T14:34:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't been posting lately, I haven't been able to get on line. For my latest adventure, I went to Travis AFB which is just outside of Sacramento, Ca. I'm learning that almost every Air Force Base specializes in something. Travis is no exception. They have the big C5A Galaxy Transport Planes. They are hugh. I'm sure you've all seen a 747 Jumbo jet. This Air Force plane makes the jumbo jet look like a shrimp. There was a 747 parked there, and the C5A taxied right by it. It sure made the 747 look small. If you've never seen one of these big jets take off, you should. It is just amazing to me how they ever get airborne. They transport tanks inside of these planes. The guys at the base were saying what a headache it is for the engineers to load the planes, because all the weight has to be placed just right in the plane, or it won't be able to lift off correctly, and then of course it will crash, and nobody want's that. At Travis, they practice landings and takeoffs, which is what they were doing when I got there.

Anyway, I picked up one of the engines that go on this jet. It has four engines. This was an oversize load, that is how big the engine is. One thing I noticed was when people drove by me in their cars, I saw a lot of heads turn to look at just what it was that I was hauling. Being a jet engine, it had to have a tarp over it to help protect it from the elements, so folks weren't too sure what it was. The back of the engine, which was facing forward on my trailer comes to a point, so maybe folks thought I was hauling some sort of rocket or something. They would look at the engine, then look at me. Don't know why they wanted to look at me? I didn't do anything wrong. Ha!

I'm heading to Kelly AFB in San Antonio, Texas, which is where I am right now writting this. I'm dropping it off in the morning, then I'll head to Houston with or without a load. That way I can spend the night with Sandy and the kids. Then Tuesday off again with another load.

Amazing, but true

2005-07-12T10:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my wife Sandy did a brave thing. She told me she was going to go and see my mom. As you remember my mom changed her mind at the last minute and said she didn't want me to come to the memorial service for my dad. So I gave Sandy the street address of where my mom lived, as she won't let me have her phone number. Off she went with high hopes of explaning to my mom just what kind of person I am now. She rang the doorbell, and my mom opened the door. Sandy said a few things, then my mom asked her who she was, and she said I'm Joe's wife. My mom said, "I don't want anything to do with him!" and proceeded to shut and lock the door.
What do I think about what happened? Well, I thought that's what she would do, but I also thought people change. Can someone really hold a grudge that long? Think of all she is missing out on. She (my mom) has lot's of grandkids she has never even meant. I just don't know what to say or think about this anymore. It seems to me that she is just a bitter women who just doesn't have it in her to forgive. Just to let everyone know, over the years I sent my mom numerous letters explaning my situation and asked her to forgive me for anything I might have done to hurt her, ect. She never once wrote me back. Cathy, my sister-in-law told me that my mom has all the letters I sent her. I don't know if she ever read them though.
I could go on about what I think about this situation, but I'll stop here. Just say a prayer for my mom that she will have a change of heart.

On my way to California

2005-07-10T22:35:00.000-05:00

I guess I have a sort of love/hate relationship with California. Loads pay good to go there, the weather is unually sunny, but I hate the speed limit for 18 wheelers, (55mph), which no one ever does. I've gotten away with 62 and had a CHP (California Highway Patrol) drive right by me and not stop me. Plus there is always tons of traffic at all hours of the day or night. But I guess it's still worth it to come out here.
Before I left Houston I picked up a load right next to the Intercontinental Airport. It was 2 sissor lifts and a small fork lift. The first one goes to Los Angeles International Airport, the fork lift goes to Fresno Airport, and the last lift goes to San Francisco International Airport. I've hauled lots of this type of load. Easy load, not much work involved. But was it ever hot in Arizonia and going across I-10 in California. About 110%. You see, in Los Angeles the weather is usually a little cooler.
You know, once I told you that I would write down the things I think about when I'm driving. I do a lot of thinking. I'm driving for about 10 hours a day, so you can see I have a lot of time to think and to day-dream as well. Not to the point that I would get so spaced out that I would have an accident. Anyway, on the way out here, I couldn't help but think about my life, what I have done, and also about my childhood. I thought about my mom and why she just doesn't want to see me or have anything to do with me. I thought of writing her another letter, but this time sending the letter to all my family, kids and all. I mean, she hasn't even seen any of her grandkids from me. They just couldn't believe she wouldn't let me,( or I guess I should say she didn't want me) to come to the memorial service.
You know, I'm happy with what I have done with my life, although some things could have been done better. I've had lot's of good times and quite a few bad times. But its been fun. I'm happy I have the kids I have. I'm happy we have such an extended family too. By this I mean the kids from my first wife, Gloria; the kids from Sandy's first husband, and my kids from Sandy. Plus all the new husbands and wifes too. We should have a big family reunion soon. I'm thankful for all of you guys. Life is just too short to fill it up with bitterness and mistakes of the past. I feel sorry for my mom, and I often wonder if there was more I could have done. Maybe so. But why didn't I do anything to help resolve the situation. I did write lots of letters, but maybe there was more I could have done. I think I was just too scared to do anything. I have always been afaid of rejection, you know, being rejected by people. If I get into a sticky situation, I don't like to have to face people if I even think they might want to reject me.
Anyway, you might say it's all in my head, I just think the worse, or I'm too negative, or whatever. Perhaps I am a little bit, but I guess I just can't dwell on what "could have been".

Now this might sound crazy to you, but I think alot about dying. (I'm not getting any younger you know, Ha!)Not the actuall act of dying, but what it is going to be like when we pass over to the other side. If you have never read the book "Embraced by the Light" by Betty J. Eadie, I highly suggest you do. Her web site is www.embraced by the light.com. ( Sorry, too lazy to try to put in the link, maybe next time.) This is such a beautiful site. Read the section on "Heavenly Encounters". I have known a lot of people in my time who have passed over to the other side, and I often wonder what they are doing. They have gotten a head start on us. I guess I could go on, but this is getting too long. Ok, until tomorrow, or until I get a good signal for a connection with the web.

Last minute sad? bad? news???

2005-07-07T00:34:00.000-05:00

I've been home for over a week now, enjoying not being out driving. On saturday we all went to see my brother. That is the younger one. My wife had never met him or his wife. We took all of our kids, including Ricky and Rosie. They were impressed with Rosie, and I thought see might end up saying something she shouldn't, but she was a good girl. Oh yea, we went to Rosie's graduation. Fun. We enjoyed fireworks here at the trailer park.

Now, all this time home was for the express purpose of going to see my brother's family & my dad's memorial service, which is suppose to be tomorrow at 11am, on the 7th. Today, the 6th we all went out with the kids and went bowling and then we went to dinner. I was suppose to call my sister-in-law, Cathy, to find out if she still needed a ride to the memorial service, as one of their cars had broke down. Since I didn't have her number on me, I was going to wait until I got home to call her. When we got home, literally when we pulled up to our trailer, Cathy called me. "Hi Cathy, do you still need a ride to the memorial service?" She said "No, we got the car fixed." I said, "Great, so I guess we will see you there tomorrow?" "Well Joey, (that's what she calls me, as that was my name as a kid), your mom told me today she doesn't want you to come." Cathy said "I'm so sorry." "That's ok Cathy, it's not your fault." We talked for a while and I'll go and see her and David tomorrow after the memorial. She will tell me how it went and will have some pictures too.

You have to understand, my mom is 80 years old. She had told Cathy just one week ago that it would be ok if I wanted to go with my family. Now she changes her mind. She told Cathy something like 'Why would he come back now, after almost 40 years'. Well, it's only been 34 years since I last saw her. It's a very long, sad, horrible story, & if you guys ever want to hear it, I could tell you someday when we are all together sipping a few drinks. I suppose I could go anyway, as it is my father who passed away, but I guess when your not wanted, what can I say. I can't get too bumed out about it. This is the way it's been for the last 34 years. At least Cathy told me she has all the letters I ever sent her. I don't know if she ever read them, but I do know she never ever wrote back.

I suppose I could say that the reason why I've had so many problems and troubles all my life stems from my upbringing, well, it wouldn't be an understatement. I won't blame it all on that, as I'm to blame for a lot of my actions.

The two biggest words that always comes to my mind about me is "rejected", and "failure."
But I know someone who has never rejected me and has always said I was a success.

Ok, enough bad news about me. Loxy, I enjoyed your blog about your trip to Boston. Great photo's too. And yes Spike, you sure are a handsome guy. Jamie, I think I'll bring your birthday gift when we come to your wedding. You guessed boots. Sorry, not boots. But you did get the first letter right. Ha!

We need to move to the other trailer park tomorrow, and then I need to get back out on the road to make more money to..................you know the routine. Hey guys, please don't feel bad for me because of this thing with my mom, I'm sure there is a reason for the whole thing.

Nevada, the desolate state

2005-06-26T20:23:00.000-05:00

Sorry for not posting for a few days. I wasn't able to get online. I had just typed up a post when all of a sudden my computer said it wanted to shut off. This thing has a mind of its own. So I lost the post I'd written, and now I'm starting over.

Anyway, I'm in Oklahoma City with a load of two compressors which I will drop off here in the morning. After this I'm heading to Houston with or without a load. I need to get home. It's been almost 2 months that I've been out here on the road.

I drove though the back roads of Nevada, and it is very desolate. There is a road here, highway 50, and it is called "the loneliest road". I've been on it and they were not kidding. One thing Nevada has lots of, and that is military bases. I passed an army ammo depot. Hugh place. And another air base, which is just right outside of Las Vegas. When I got to Las Vegas the other day, there was a lot of smoke from a big forest fire that is burning in California and Nevada. When you have to drive though this, it is hard to get the smoke out of your truck. Also there are wildfires burning in Arizona, and southern Utah. All started by lightning.

Not much has been happening with me. I'm trying to get home. I learned back on the 18th that my dad had gone to a hospic and wasn't expected to live much longer. He had congestive heart failure. On the 21st I found out he had passed away that night. I guess it was early in the morning of the 21st. I never had much of a relationship with my dad, and I don't think me two brothers did either. I hadn't seen him since I left home when I was 16. There will be a service for him, a memorial service on the 7th of July, and I found out that it was ok that I come. Ever since I've been here in Texas, my parents knew I was here, but they never made any indication that they ever wanted to see me or my wife and kids. This will be hard for me to go to this service, as my mom will be there, and I have not seen her since I left home at 16 years old. It will be strange. God bless my sister-in-law, she has been my go between with my mother. She let's her know what I'm doing, ect. So, pray for me, I'll need it.

Until tomorrow.

I'm still In California

2005-06-23T09:36:00.000-05:00

I noticed no one commented on my last two blogs. Guess no one has an extra dog house. But that is ok, I won't be needing one. I have made amends with my wife, and she has agreed to let me sleep in our bed together again. :)! We do get along quite well together.

Well, back to my travels. I took a load of rail road ties to a city just south of San Francisco. It's called San Bruno. I went across the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge. Hugh bridge. Wish I could have taken pictures. This is the same bridge that had a portion of it fall down in an earthquake a few years ago. Yikes. I prayed all the way across it. But as you cross it, downtown San Francisco is to your right, and you can see Alcatraz Island, and the Golden Gate Bridge. One day I will cross that bridge too. It cost me $10.25 to cross the one I went on, I don't know how much it would be to cross the Golden Gate. Remember, they always charge big trucks more money on tolls.

Where I had to deliver the load was in a real tight area. Cars were parked on both sides of the steet, and it took a lot of manuvering just to miss them.

Oh yes, when I was crossing the bridge, it was about 9 pm local time, and the moon was just coming up over the mountains. It was a full moon. It looked gigantic! Anyway, I couldn't find the place I needed to go to, which was a lumber yard, as it was just being used as a storage facility. I drove up to another one of the freeways, and spent the night on the side of the road. I didn't sleep much, as the traffic went by all night long. I don't usually do this, sleeping on the side of the road. Anyway, I got the load off the next morning.

Today, I got a load out of the National Guard Airbase here in Sunnyvale, Ca. And it is just going to Stockton, Ca. a little over 75 miles away. It pays $1,000 gross pay. That comes out to $13.33 a mile. My actual cut on the load is $792.00 .That is the amount I get. That is good pay for about 4 hours of work. All I'm getting is a trailer. Easy load. Wish they could all be like this. So, I do get some breaks once in a while. Now don't anybody think that I'm rolling in the doe, because I'm not. Most of my loads only average out to be about $1.80 to $2.00 a mile.

After I drop this load off today, I'm trying to get something that will take me back home. Ok, that is all for now. Later folks.

Does anyone have an extra dog house I could use.

2005-06-21T00:09:00.000-05:00

Opps, I blew it big time. I'm going to be in the dog house for a while. If you read my wifes comment under my last blog, you'd know what I'm talking about. I'm sorry, honey, I shouldn't of said that. You know me well enough to know I won't go picking up a girl. I said it jokingly, sorry. Gotta watch what I say. I do love you too. :)!

Also, for anyone who read my blog, "Just north of Seattle", I asked a trivia question. The answer to the question is--the reason they check our tires for rocks before we go driving on the flight line, is becasue they could get sucked up into the jet engines and cause them to crash.
They do the same thing on aircraft carriers. Any little tiny piece of metal or something that could get sucked up into the jet engine could destroy the engine. Once a military plane with lots of soldiers on it crashed after take off because they ran into a flock of geese and some of the geese were sucked into the engines and destroyed the fan blades. It does happen. I've even seen a guy get sucked into the engine on a jet on an aircraft carrier once. Thankfully, he lived to tell about it, but some have not been so lucky. If you remember recently when the concord took off from Paris, right after another jet had taken off, it is shown taking off with it's engines on fire. There is a long streak of flames shooting out of the engines. Shortly after that it crashed and killed everyone on board. The resulting investigation said it was from a piece of metal that was sucked into the engines that came from the other jet that had just taken off. So, that is why they look for rocks in our tires when we go on an airbase.

I picked up a load of railroad ties in Seattle and it is going down to San Francisco. I should be home this week, I hope.

Well, gotta go to bed. I've got a real bad headache and there is a full moon in a couple of days. I think the full moon has something to do with my headaches, because they become real sever whenever there is a full moon. If the moon can affect the tides, I guess it could constrict the blood vessels in a persons head too.

Alone Again In Seattle

2005-06-19T21:26:00.000-05:00

Just think, it was one year ago that my wife came with me on the road and we enjoyed a weekend here in Seattle. I love Seattle because it reminds me so much of Europe. A sort of mix between France and Switzerland. It's like anything goes here. Almost all the young people have tatoos and tons of body jewely, wild hair doos, clothes, ect. ect. But unfortunately I had to spend it alone. You know, it really isn't any fun to spend your life alone. You really do need to have someone to spend it with. Someone you love. I suppose I could have tried to pick up a girl, but I don't think it would have worked out. It was a beautiful day here, sunny, and in the low '70's.

Thanks to all who wished me a happy fathers Dad. Thank you so much. I love all of you!

I'm going to try to get home sometime this week. I've got some business that needs to be taken care of. Sometimes I wish life was one big vacation for everyone to enjoy. There is just so much to do to enjoy life. As the saying goes, "Things to do, people to see, places to go."

Until tomorrow. Enjoy life, be good, love one another.

Just north of Seattle, Wa.

2005-06-18T20:06:00.000-05:00

Forgive me, everyone, but it's hard to start this blog because I have such a busting splitting headache. This is indeed my curse in life. I have nothing but sympathy(and lot's of BC powders) for anyone who gets headaches. I just hate with everything in me when people tell me, "Oh, it really doesn't hurt that much." How in the hell would they know, it's not their head that's hurting, but mine.

Ok, enough about my head. Now, where were we? Oh yes, loading in Las Vegas on wednesday. I went to the air force base, and what a scene that was. I waited about 2 & 1/2 hours before they took me to get loaded. They took me right to the flight line. I was no more than 300 feet from all these million dollar fighter jets, including the latest one, the F-21 Raptor. I know it's the raptor, but I'm not too sure of the F-21, I could be wrong. This is the latest stealth fighter jet. It is just wild to be there and watch all of these jets taking off and landing. And loud, well, that's not even the word for it. More like ear busting. The Lord know's I'd love to fly one of 'em. I asked one of the soldiers what is the average age of the pilots, and he said anywhere from 25 to 40. Most are around 28 years old. I also asked him what would happen if I tried to get close to one of the jets. He said, "Well, there is an invisible red line around them, and if you cross it, within minutes you would be surrounded, with the muzzle of a rifle on your neck." He said it's not a good feeling.

Now this load I was getting was for the Navy. They were there on training with the air force. These navy guys told us how weird the air force is. Way too strict they said. They go by the letter of the law. Anyway, if you know anything about the air force or the navy and their jets; they are always trying to outdo the other, or out compete them. The navy has the "Blue Angels", which perform at air shows all over the world. I think, in my opinion, they are the best. But the air force has the "Thunderbirds", and Nellis Air Force Base is their home. And there they were sitting there nice and pretty all lined up in a row, waiting to perform. I guess you can tell I'm a little fascinated with jets. Ever since I was a little kid. My dad was an airplane mechanic, and he took us to the airport a lot, and even to the air force base there in Houston, Ellington AFB. Oh, and a little more info on the "Thunderbirds"; I read today on CNN news that they will be getting the first female fighter pilot to fly on their team. Not even the "Blue Angels" have that. It's always been all men. So there you are ladies, go for it. You can do anything a man can do. And why not, if she is qualified, let her do it.

After we finally got loaded and were on our way out, the stupid air force locked us in on base. So the navy guy that was with us, called them, and it took them 2 hours to come and unlock the frigging gate to let us out. There was 2 other trucks with me. And even this navy guy, and he had a high rank and all, even he didn't have any sway with the air force while he was on "THEIR" base. It's always one thing or the other when I go on these military bases. And was it hot. 105 degrees, like being in a blast furnace. Dry heat.

Ok, the next day we left and since they loaded us so late, they said we would unload you on saturday at the Navel Air Station on Whedbey Island, Wa. It's right outside of Oak Harbor, Wa. If you have a map, look and see where it is. It is beautiful here. I've always loved the Seattle area, and Washington state. I lived here back in the early '80's; in Seattle and in Vancouver, Canada. And guess what Rosie Posie? I found a place for you here. It is called "Posey Island State Park" right on your very own island called "Posey Island"! Ha! How do you like that?

So today, Saturday, we all got unloaded together at the NAS(Navel Air Station). There were 4 of us all together. The same guys who loaded us, unloaded us. They flew here, of course. And the temperature here, a balmy 56 degrees with clouds. What a change in temperature!! Right when we were getting unloaded, all of these navy jets take off. About 5or 6 of them. You couldn't even hear yourself think, as again, we were right on the flight line.

Now, a little trivia question for you. When they took us out to the flight line, which is very close to the runway, they stopped all of us, and checked our tires for rocks. Do you know why? Let's see who knows something about airplanes. Another hint. On an aircraft carrier, about once a week or so, they will take a couple hundred guys and they will walk the entire length of the aircraft carrier and pick up any tiny little objects they find(Like rocks). Why do they do that?

I could tell you more stories these navy guys told us, but I'll save them for later. I took lot's more pictures and will put them on a disk at Wal-Mart so I can put them online for all to see.
Ok, bye for now. More later.

Ps. I'm going to Seattle tomorrow for my day off. Wish you all were here.

Las Vegas, NV. Sin City, USA

2005-06-15T01:26:00.000-05:00

Well,I'm here in Las Vegas. Is it hot here? Well, I sweated so much, they put out a flash flood warning. Ha! But before I got here, I had to go first to Ft. Mohave, Az. That was on monday, and when I got to the job site, they couldn't unload me, so I had to go to Vegas, unload, then drive back to Ft. Mohave to get unloaded tuesday morning. It's about 100 miles out side of Vegas. I took lot's of pictures, so when I get the film developed, I'll put it on a disk, so I can put it on the computer for all to see. ( I still need to get that digital camera).
Now if you have never been to Las Vegas, you need to go, at least once. But another place you can go to which a lot of people don't know about is where I went to. Just north of Ft. Mohave, Az is a town called Bullhead City. It is right on the colorado river, and just across the river is Laughlin, Nv. Now if Las Vegas has a sister, this is it. They have these huge biker rallies there. One year, about 4 or 5 "Hells Angles" were killed in a shootout with another rival bike gang, or something like that. Needless to say, when the bikers come to town, security is tight. This place is down in the valley, at 0 elevation, and you go down about 3 or 4 thousand feet down these steep mountains. It takes me a lot of time climbing back out of there, as I do about 25 miles an hour climbing the steep grades.
So, there is your geography leason for today. If you want a vacation spot, go to Laughlin, Nv. I'm sure you can check it out on the web.
Ok, I got back here in Las Vegas today, tuesday, and tomorrow I'm loading out of Nellis Air Force Base, with a load going up to Oak Harbor, Wa. That is about 50 miles north of Seattle, WA. Nellis AFB is home to a lot of fighter jets. I forget just what air wing it is, ( I could look it up) but here at the truck stop we are only about 5 miles from the base, and in the evening you see all these fighter jets coming home after a day of bombing the crap out of the bombing and gunnery range. Look on your map of Nevada and you will see it about 80 miles or so northwest of Las Vegas. It's also the area where they tested the first nuclear bomb. If I was younger, I'd love to be able to fly one of those fighter jets. But that is where your tax dollars go to, to pay for the jet fuel so these guys can fly around all day. Crazy huh?
I took a lot of pictures of Las Vegas. I hope they turn out. One thing you notice out here, besides the heat, and the barran mountains, is the lack of trees. I mean all these mountains here do not have one single tree on them. Totally barran, nothing but rocks. Blue sky in the daytime, hardly any clouds. I forget how many days the sun shines here during the year. Almost every day.
I didn't do any gambling, but there will be another time.
Oh yea, they are having a big truck show here for three days. I saw some of the show trucks here at the truck stop. Nice, real nice. Lot's of money in them.
Ok, that's it, 'till tomorrow.

Why, Oh why do I do it?

2005-06-11T00:19:00.000-05:00

This load that is going to Las Vegas, (for all of those who were not smart like Ben, and guessed where I was going), it is a tarped load. I almost NEVER TAKE TARPED LOADS! I haven't hauled one since 50 loads ago. WHY? They are one huge pain in the butt. So, why did I take it. It wasn't just because it was going to Las Vegas. Everytime I go there I'm usually broke, so I can't play the slot machines. But maybe this time I will.
Anyway, I took the load because it paid good. In other words, I'm a slave to money. I'm beginning to hate having to make all my decisions based on how much money it pays. But let me elaborate on this load. I get there at 2pm and get out of there at 9pm cst. That is 7 hours at the shippers. I had to wait in line about4 hours, as there were 3 trucks ahead of me. This is what you would call a shit load. Excuse my colorfull language, but that is just what it is. My load has 4 drops and a final. So there is a lot of stuff to go on the load. And these mexicans who are loading the trucks, God bless their souls, well, they are SLOWWWWWWW!!! When they finally got to me, and began to load my truck, I went back to talk to the guy on my trailer, and I see all this blood on my trailer. He had cut his finger on the material they were loading. I'm hauling sheets of roofing material. Plus, I got two machines on the upper deck of my trailer.
Now if you know nothing about a step-deck trailer, which is what I have, none of this makes sense to you. Anyway, I'll post a picture or two of some of the loads I've hauled, so you can see.
Remember, all this stuff has sharp edges, so I have to pad it with carpet and such things. That way I don't put a hole in my tarps. The tarps I have weigh more than Ben, they are about 80 or 90 lbs each. They use the fork lift to put them on the load for me. Then I have to open them up and get them situated, Lord, this takes so much time, you get real dirty, it's 90 degress out in the hot Texas sun, and I stop to wonder, "WHY, LORD, DID I EVER AGREE TO TAKE THIS LOAD?" I must of been crazy. It took me about 3 hours to strap and tarp it all down.
This place was only 25 miles from the TA truck stop I was at, so after all was done, I drove back to the TA, took a shower, ate, and came to my AIR CONDITIONED TRUCK to write you this little story. Yes, tarping loads is for the company drivers, not us owner operators. We can do better. I won't be taking any tarped loads any time soon.

I gotta go to bed, I am beat. Dead tired.

Why I'm always broke

2005-06-10T11:56:00.001-05:00

Here I sit broken hearted,
Had some money that is now departed.
Off I go on the road again,
A slave I am to the god of the Almighty dollar.
Doesn't it just make you want to hollar,
That this little green piece of paper,
Could have it's claws so tight about our collar.

Well, I never said I was a poet, but I suppose if I sat here long enough, I could come up with a good rhyme. I'm sitting here in San Antonio, and in just a couple of hours I will be going to pick up a load going to "SIN CITY, USA." I won't tell you where that is, I will let you post a comment, to see if you know where it is. Let's see how many of you know your American trivia. And geography on top of that. And just like hell, it's very hot there. Ok, enough hints. Where am I going??

Now,back to why I'm broke. I've been sitting here at the T.A. truck stop in San Antonio, Texas getting my air conditioner fixed again for the upmtennth time. Thank God some of the parts were still covered under the warrenty with T.A. But it still ended up costing me $455.32. Yes, truck drivers make a lot of money, but we also have big expenses. I still need to change all my brakes on my drive tires, another $500.00, & I also have to buy 6 tires for my trailer, and that will cost me around $1,200.00. And that is with the discount I get with Landstar.

So, you can see why I'm always broke, and why it seems to take us forever to get out of debt. Perhaps in "SIN CITY" I can strike it rich. (Another hint ) :)!

But when the day comes that we do strike it rich, we will have such a party that you have never seen. All our friends and family will be invited and we will party for days.

I guess that's all for now, let me know where I'm taking this load to. Sorry, but I don't have any money to give to the winner.

In the shop again

2005-06-08T12:24:00.000-05:00

It seems like my truck lives in the shop. I had it in the shop about a month ago for AC work, and you will never guess what it's back in the shop for. If you guessed AC work, well, you sure are smart. Ever since I bought this truck, I've had nothing but trouble out of my air conditioner. I'm hoping this is going to be covered under the waranty, but if not, there goes a bunch more money invested in this money hog. But I've got to have AC if I'm going to be living here in the hot state of Texas. Right now I'm in San Antonio, as I drove here empty yesterday from El Paso. No loads out there. More loads here and in Houston.
It seems like we never get ahead. One step forward, 4 backward. I guess I need to stop complaining about it and learn to live with it. It seems my lot in life to have nothing but problems all the time. If I could just learn what I need to learn, then maybe I can move on to the next level of this game called life.
More later.

The Land of Enchantment

2005-06-05T17:39:00.000-05:00

The Land of Enchantment. That is what they call New Mexico. I don't see much enchantment here, other than the beautiful sunrises and sunsets. It's hot and dry and very arid here. Only up in the mountains it is somewhat beautiful.

Driving south on I-25 today, heading down to Las Cruces, where I'm spending the night, (before I drop off this load in the morning to the military base) , I noticed something on the side of the highway about every mile or so. I know you've seen them too, as they are all over the US on the highways. It's the cross and flowers and things people leave at the site of an accident. I've seen them many times myself, but what amazed me today, was that I saw them about every mile or so. I think this is the most I've ever seen on a highway before. It seems to me that this could be called the Highway of Death. The speed limit here in New Mexico is 75, and of course people go about 85 to 90, so no wonder they end up dead. I can't wait to live in a world where we don't need trucks or "trains, planes, & automobles" to get us around from place to place. It's so sad to think about all the people who have died in needless car wreaks.

"Well, I guess that's all I've got to say about that." One of Forest Gumps famous sayings. I enjoyed that movie.

You know, when you are driving a truck all around this country, you get a lot of time to think about things. Maybe soon I'll put down on paper, (or in this blog), all the things I think about. It might be interesting, I don't know. Some might enjoy it. Anyway, until tomorrow, or until the next place I can get an internet signal, whichever comes first.