As Jennifer Sees It

Going to Madonna for Guidance

2008-01-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yes it has come to this. I am not actually to go and seek out Madonna and ask her what I should do next. But as for most of my life the feeling of a song can greatly bring out emotions in me. I am at work and I am as always listening to my Ipod. (I love my Ipod, we are in a deep and meaningful relationship right now). And as I am in a period of what on earth should I do next. The shuffle functions comes on and here is what I hear coming out of my headphones.

“There is only so much you can learn in one place.
The more that I wait, the more time that I waste”
~ Jump, Madonna

Is this a sign?

She is also telling me to…

“Get Ready to Jump”

I think no matter what happens, stay or go. I need to Jump!

It’s a funny thing this thing we call change.

2007-10-25T07:19:00.000-06:00

I am a young person and at this time in my life it is understandable to be a bit unstable and a bit unsure of what is going on around me. Though due to the environment in which I work good-byes are inevitable and change will be just around the corner.

I have only worked here 14 months. Which is longer then I thought it would be, but I realized today that I am having problems adjusting to the changes going on around me because I think I have this desire to have my life be a bit more stable.

Though on the other hand I want to watch and see how this all works out.

It’s a funny thing, this thing we call change.

We need it but it is not that often that we embrace it.

Power in ...

2007-10-01T04:21:00.000-06:00

Lately as I try to really start to move away from feeling like I live in Temporary world. Because even though my state might be temporary, I know that I really need to start thinking long term.

I am starting to really look how where I want my life to go. What I want my life to be filled with no mater where I am. Instead of defining my life by where I am, defining me life by who I am and remembering that the place is only the setting.

One thing I am trying to do is try to bring Creativity back into my life.

Through Music, Words and Laughter.

In this world there is power in so many things.

These three are helping me find my internal power.

By reading more, I forgot how much joy I found in a good book.
Music, really listening to the message, and finding music that really means something to me.
Laughter, the more I laugh I find the more I live! It is who I am!

Current Book: The Kite Runner
Current Music: a mixture of old favorites and new loves
Laughter: Everyday with many specific moments

2007-07-15T09:13:00.000-06:00

Omigod its July. The Middle of July

I at times can not get over how fast my life seems to be passing me by. You think its May! I have over a Month till July comes. But then some how time passes and you can even be sure what you did. You just know it has happened and it is now July.
June for me what a month of challenge. I had the final month/new beginning of a completely stressful project at work. Which is done now can I get a woot woot. I also saw the end of an improve class I had been taken come to end with a final show which I think went off great but was a first for me and eye opening!
These were defiantly the two big things which happened to me in my life but the month also was filled with other little things.
But now in 4 days I will be going back to Canada for a very short time. Which is a bit great but also a bit booo so be only able to go back and visit for very short spaces of time. It funny because I miss parts of home everyday but I defiantly know that I am where I am suppose to be right now!

What Keeps me Moving!

2007-06-04T08:41:00.000-06:00

Music/Music/Music

Alright - Red Carpet

It's gonna be alright tonight, oh my
It's gonna be alright, oh yeah, come baby
The sun is gonna keep on shining
On brighter days, on the horizon
My love for you will always keep on rising

Everything is gonna be alright tonight, oh yeah,
My love for you is gonna keep on rising (for you)

[chorus]
The sun is gonna keep on shining
Brighter days on the horizon
My love for you will keep on rising
Everything's gonna be alright

The sun is gonna keep on shining
My love for you will keep on rising
Everything's gonna be alright [3x]

chorus [2x]

It's gonna be alright, tonight
It's gonna be alright, alright
It's gonna be alright, tonight

“Sometimes it is hard to live your dream.”

2007-05-28T02:51:00.000-06:00

I heard these words from a good friend of mine the other day. Thank you for speaking them because indeed sometimes it is hard to live your dream. Sometimes is hard to live your dream when part of that dream is figuring out what exactly your dream is.

What is it that you want your life to be?

Throughout living your dream, hard choices have to be made. Things have to be missed. Though a question has to be asked, when finding your dream who must one living for. Everyone would say yourself? But is that always the right choice?

Update!!!!!!

2007-05-08T06:15:00.000-06:00

I realized now it has been a very long time since I write a proper Update:

Ireland
France
Belgium
Seen lots of Flowers!
Queens Day

Is what I would have to talk about!

I’ve been kind of busy but it has been really good.

Ireland – For St. Patrick’s Day! Woot Woot a must do and highly recommended!

France – Random Easter Long Weekend Trip to Northern France!

Belgium – This past weekend hoped on a train and without any planning went to another country! Pictures still on my Camera.

Seen Lots of Flowers! - Well I do live in a country of Flowers so I went to see a garden in Holland called Kreukonhof (though I am sure I spelt that wrong).

Queens Day - I like to think of it as an entire day dedicated to the Color Orange. The Whole City becomes a Dance Floor with DJ’s at every turn and you can sell anything you want on the street.

So... Next Steps?

2007-04-23T05:48:00.000-06:00

Today I got up and I went to work just like every other day. But today I also learnt that the indeed ABN AMRO as I work for it may not exist, I am pretty sure, in the near future.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/6582507.stm
Which means jobs will be cut so what are the chances for me. Far less. So I will work as hard as I can while I finish here but I do not even now have an idea of what I might want my next steps to be.

Could it be London? How about New York? Should we try to stay in Amsterdam? What about back to Edmonton? Move south to Calgary? There is T.O.? Or maybe Vancouver? Seattle (this is where Starbucks started)?

A world of possibilities and no idea where to go!

Song in my head right now!

Heartbreak Town – Dixie Chicks

“Hugged your friends
Kissed your mama goodbye”
…
“Square people in a world thats round
And they watch you dancin
Without the sound”

I'm a New person

2007-04-17T02:40:00.000-06:00

This weekend I not only did not complain about the strong jump in heat. from 12 to 27 but I actually spent most of my weekend loving it :)

Woot Woot

See you soon!

2007-04-04T10:03:00.000-06:00

This is a little good-bye for three great people who I had the opportunity to work and play with here in Amsterdam

Heather - who has alas moved on me to London. I will miss you but I will see you soon!

And Agne who is just temporally going home. I know she will be back and back working for the bank!!

I don't usually post goodbyes as they are not my favourite time when two leave in one day it has an impact!

Can you believe it is April!

2007-04-02T07:00:00.000-06:00

Well anyways it is but can i just say that I am a little upset because well Starbucks had finally decided to open itself up in The Netherlands and well they are doing it at the airport after you go through Customs. WTF. Thats right! What is up with that!!

I am upset!

OK It obvious to me I'm avoiding doing something!

2007-03-23T07:40:00.000-06:00

The A to Z Survey

1. A is for age:24

2. B is for beer of choice: Well because I live in Amsterdam Hieniken seems to be my only choice

3. C is for career right now: Global Business Continuity Officer or as I like to think The SLAVE

D is for your dog's name? Eddie the man!

5. E is for essential item you use everyday: Metro Pass

6. F is for favorite TV show at the moment: Lost and Heroes I am addicted to both

7. G is for favorite game: Card Games!

8. H is for Home town:Edmonton, AB

9. I is for instruments you play:Flute and Piano And Sexaphone

10. J is for favorite juice: Pommegrante - its really good you should try it

11. K is for whose butt you'd like to kick: I don't want him to know

12. L is for last place you ate:Canteen at work

13. M is for marriage: Or is M for Music really m could be for so many things wiat M could be for Many

14. N is for your full name:Jennifer Amy L'Heureux

15. O is for overnight hospital stays: When I was like 6

16. P is for people you were with today: Oh there has been a few and I'm lazy

17. Q is for quote: Look to the right

18. R is for Biggest Regret: If you are happy where you are no regrets cause every choice got you there

19. S is for status: Status on what people status on what

20. T is for time you woke up today: 7:42

21. U is for underwear you have on now: Well ...

22. V is for vegetable you love:cucumber

23. W is for worst habit:smoking

24. X is for x-rays you've had: Oh I think my whole bdy at some point has been

25. Y is for yummy food you ate today: Fruit with Yogert and chocolate

26. Z is for the zodiac sign: s is for Scorpio

Maybe it is right?

2007-03-23T07:37:00.000-06:00

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy.You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

What's" Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Random!

2007-03-20T06:17:00.001-06:00

Is all I can say right now about my weekend!

RANDOM

Is This Me?

2007-03-15T06:22:00.001-06:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

### of Words for Emotion

2007-03-10T03:13:00.000-07:00

Its Saturday morning and I am sitting in my room in Amsterdam. On Monday it will be my 6 month mark of being here in Amsterdam. Lately I have felt cornered or challenged to just be happy. Which I can say I am. Though along with that happiness there are millions of other things to describe about the emotion I am going through. I will immediately go to the standard words for emotion like beyond happy I am

Confused
Excited
Sad
Apprehensive
Thrilled
Disconnected

The list can go on and on. There are so many words for emotion and sometimes it is very hard to describe this strange hybrid of emotion in which we live. It would great to live without the hybrid. Wouldn’t it be great to just be Happy. To just live in this constant state of happy. Though call me a masochist I am at times ok with not being at the 100% of happy and living in a hybrid, it makes me feel more human.

It allows me to challenge myself in a stronger way.

My life is filled with contradictions and conundrums, such as I love to travel but hate to fly, I have found a balance within myself that allows me to go through life with a smile on my face.   And that balance comes from emotion on ever point of the spectrum.

After living most of my life believing that I would be planted in one place, I found the courage to pack my bags, and I do mean bags light packing is not my specialty, and head to South Africa. Now I realize that the world is so much bigger then I could have ever imagined and a lifetime is not enough time to see it all. So now I am one again living away from the conforts of the people who know me well and the place I know at everyturn. But you have to do as much as you can in the time you have. Taking it all in, the big and small, the good and bad, going down the smooth paths and a few bumpy roads (which seems like mountainous terrain at times).  Sometimes because of that the happiness is not always there. But sometimes it is there in a much bigger and better way.

On a daily basis I need to smile, laugh, learn, read and most of all continue to ask question and challenge myself.

I need accept the emotion. Learn from it. And try to get to a place where the balance allows me to be a good as I can. Do the most that I can. And be who I know I can be.

I need to be and see. I need to improve. I need to Challenge

"If you don't like my attitude then you can F off/Just go to Texas isn't that where they golf"

2007-03-08T04:09:00.000-07:00

A New Love - Madonna

Now I have always kind of liked her! BUT NOW I LOVE HER AND I AM NOT ASSAMED TO ADMIT IT

“I'm gonna tell you about love
Let's forget your life
forget your problems
Administration, bills and loans
Come with me”
~Future Lover

There is just so much to love!

Why has it taken so long for this love to form!

....

2007-03-06T03:50:00.000-07:00

i beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. do not search fo rthe answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

-rilke

La Bayadère

2007-03-05T03:07:00.000-07:00

On February 23rd, five of us decided to get a little culture and attend the Ballet.

I have heard the Dutch National Ballet company was amazing and good old Patty discovered La Bayadere was currently being performed. It was stunning.

I highly recommend it!

LELE

2007-03-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

Well hello everyone. Shall we have another musical post. I think the answer is yes

Current Song

LELE – Loredana

As I do not understand the lyrics we are just not going to have any down here at the moment.

Well I am sitting in the room of my new house which I have to say since being to ikea yesterday has become a lot more Jen Esk! Woot woot and I love it more now.

I believe it has been 3 weeks since the move happened over to Mezland and I am loving it a lot.

Le Le

There has been more time at home just hanging out which on couch which has been great.

I hosted a dinner party last weekend and that was great. I love cooking for people although I am not very good at it. Though no one died and was told the chicken was yummy yummy. And I had patty at my side helping me cook the rice dish as I don’t know how to cook rice. Sad I know!

Anyways there is no point here. Just a fast hello

Think Different

2007-02-25T04:12:00.000-07:00

Thank you Mazzy for reminding me of this!

Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,
disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing that you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent. They imagine. They heal.
They explore. They create. They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
We make tools for these kinds of people.
While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think that they can
change the world, are the ones who do

A Musical Post!!!!

2007-02-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

In order to fully appreciate this post I believe you should turn yourself on to what I am listening to while I write.

Lets start with Counting Crows – Colour Blind

I am ready I am Fine

I am sitting here looking out over the Netherlands! Figuring out what is happening in the entirety of my life. A week and ½ ago I moved and I still have yet to unpack my bags. Which is not good. This weekend though it will happen.

Two weeks ago I requested my extended contract, I do now have it, therefore I have not signed it. The fact that I am staying will feel more real once I sign it.

I am ready I am fine

New Song – 9 Crimes – Damien Rice

I find this song oddly soothing – It’s the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you

I don’t feel like myself lately. Quiet, and reserved. I know it will pass – there are many things on my mind. Many people on my mind! Many things to think about!

And I got no excuse

New Song – Everybody’s Changing – Keane

Everbody’s changing and I don’t feel the same

New Song – Forca – Nelly Furtado

It is the passion flowing right on through your veins

Now this is more like it. With every turn I find there are things to dwell on. Things that I can consistently think about and bring me down. BUT!!! Loving life and where I am is such a natural part of this experience. The people, the job, the new house, the city are all things which are a force in my life to pick me up.

It’s the moment you remember your alive!

The Housemates

2007-02-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

I keep having questions about the new roomies. So here they are.

In no particular order we have

Patty and no this is not her real hair colour! But I think she looks smashing!!!!!

Vija! Ohh Vija!! Wonderful Vija!

Masha! is up next! Sweetheart Mash!

Mazzy is who we have here. How hot are we!!!

Lets Make it two fold!

2007-02-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

This weekend a group of us headed down south to Maastricht to celebrate Carnival Dutch Style!!!! It was great. Tons of colours and costumes everywhere. I could wear both my feather boas a tiara and butterfly face mask and felt completely normal. But lets be honest shall we folks I kinda like being the only one in my favorite accessories. WOOT WOOT Anyways it was a crazy weekend of good people, lots of laughs and memories. Here are a couple pictures for Your liking!!!

Another List

2007-02-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why but lately I have been thinking about the things I miss from home a lot more. I am sure it will pass but things I miss for now are!

1 – Starbucks! And sitting there for hours talking about nothing important but in my eyes the most important conversations of my life!!!! :D
2 – Great big Canadian Hugs! Ok maybe I miss the people who I used to get them from
3 – Ellen – I love her – I would watch it Sunday morning
4 – Tim Hortons – Large Double Double please
5 – Whyte Ave – Walking up and down and being cold and going into a shop to warm up.
6 – Chapters – My home away from home.
7 – Driving – I miss it what can say. Highway driving too!
8 – Big Trucks – Being up high
9 – Peanut Butter Candy – Thanks mom and dad for the one in the Valentines Day gift. The new Rieces eanut Butter Crunch is suppppppper yummy
10 – A Nice honey Brown yummy – I need to go to Belgium to help me through this.