CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES

CONNECT TO MY NEW BLOG

2009-01-26T06:30:00.007-05:00

This blog is the story of Kristy Dykes and her writings.

On July 21, 2008, Kristy walked through the gates of heaven onto streets of gold. Kristy's blog will always be a reminder of the joy and blessing of serving God and the love God adds to marriage.

Please click on the address below to go to my new blog.

See you there.

Milton Dykes

http://mdykes.blogspot.com/

Kristy Roberts Dykes

August 2, 1951--July 21, 2008

"Pizzazz, Enthusiasm, High Energy"

THIS LADY HAD FAITH

2009-01-21T07:00:00.005-05:00

Today is the last post I will enter until Monday, January 26 when I will begin my new blog. I will enter a link on this blog address on Monday to connect you to the new site.

I look forward to your visiting the new site on Monday. Remember, check this site for the link to the new blog.

This post is the video of Kristy's final time to attend church when she shared her last words to our church we pastor and where she also grew up. She was so sick that morning before church that she couldn't remember how to put her makeup on or how to put on her jewelry. It was miraculous that she was able to attend church and even more amazing that she spoke.

Her words to the church will never be forgotten by those present. They were challenging, inspiring, and encouraging. I don't believe I have ever witnessed faith in anyone more than what I saw and heard that morning as Kristy spoke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT-QJr-BK-A

Double click above to watch video.

MY LETTER TO KRISTY

2009-01-20T07:00:00.004-05:00

Dear Kristy:

Before you had brain surgery, you asked me to journal entries on this blog to tell your story and our story. At first I couldn't see how I could write with all you were facing and I told you that I couldn't. But, at your insistence, I began to photo journal your story and have for almost fourteen months. I have attempted to tell your story to the best of my ability.

Your faith and determination to honor God has blessed untold numbers of people and lives as a legacy through your family and those you have touched.

I remember when you started this blog almost five years ago the enthusiasm and energy you had in developing it. Week after week and then month after month and now year after year you wrote, and now I have written daily for you for some fourteen months. This has been one amazing, incredible journey that one day our kids and grandkids will read, view, and watch with appreciation for your faithful and committed life and service to them and to the Lord.

Thirty-seven years is not long enough to be married when you share the sweet love that we enjoyed. We did so much and walked together with an honest and pure love. I still wipe tears over our blessed and wonderful years we lived as husband and wife.

You gave me the most beautiful daughters and stood faithfully at my side to help me serve as a pastor and church leader. Wow, did we ever live and have fun!

I have written daily about you and all you have meant to me. I could add more, but you know the christian romance we shared. We had fireworks, sparks, sweetness, and joy mixed and intertwined with eternal purpose. You made this Alabama boy a better man and a true romantic.

Your articles, books, and this blog have touched millions and heaven will record the full magnitude and impact of your romantic, sweet pen. I tried every way that I could to support and encourage your efforts and vision to write. Many years ago the Lord told us that we would write together and bless many people. You kept faithful to your calling to the very end and God truly blessed your hard work, and together we wrote and shared to encourage others.

Sweetheart, I love you dearly and thank you for all you did to bless me, our daughters and grands, our family, the churches we served, and many others we do not know. You did good and made life better for all of us.

We all miss you terribly. The girls and the grands hurt and hurt real bad, but we are going to make it. You showed us how to live with joy and die with dignity and peace. That cloud of peace and chair of strength are still with us. God is so good. He will not fail.

You told Julie and Norma the plans God had for me with Wanda before you passed. I am awed at your insight, love, and kindness to bless me and push me to move forward with my life. How did you know that Wanda was the one God had for me? You are one classy, spiritual lady. You knew my needs and loved me more than one could ever imagine as you released me to God's full plan for my life. I am grateful. Just moments before you went to heaven when I asked you to tell Jesus to send me help, I didn't know that you already knew who the help would be. You are amazing!

It won't be long and all of us will join you. Life here is brief, but eternity is forever. I will live for the day that we all see each other again in heaven. With God's help, I will be faithful and finish my life with commitment and determination to honor God and give Him glory just as you did.

Kristy, thank you for loving me and walking with me and blessing me.

Milton

***

Tomorrow will be the last post entry on this blog for some time to come. This blog will always be here for you to read, and on rare occasions in the future there will be updates.

Thank you for all your prayers and kindness to Kristy, me, my daughters, and our family.

May God bless you.

KRISTY'S LAST POST

2009-01-19T07:00:00.004-05:00

These are the last words Kristy wrote on Thursday April 24, 2008, just one week before she entered hospice and walked deep into the valley of the shadow of death . I wanted to share her last written words to you on these final days of entry on this blog. These words express so much of her heart.

***

Kristy, here:

Thanks, all, for your GLORIOUS comments. Appreciate you all. Just came in from a midweek prayer service. Lots of strength when you're surrounded by believers. Thanks, all, for your prayers. God is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooood to me! Even with brain cancer, I can say that. He's a good God.

GO BACK AND READ

2009-01-18T07:00:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

In three days I will enter the last post on this blog for some time to come. I will probably enter a new post or one of my daughters for unusually important milestone or occasions in the future. I will start a new blog that will be linked you from this blog to the new one. The new blog will start on Thursday, January 22.

There is so much I could write but today this post will be brief. Why not take the time to go back and read a few past posts. I have. They go back almost five years. You will read the heart of a passionate woman named Kristy who loved God, her husband and daughters, family and people in general, and you will read a christian love story that will change your life.

JULIE'S THOUGHTS ABOUT HER MOM

2009-01-17T07:00:00.001-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

I have asked Julie to write her thoughts about her Mom as I finalize the last posts on this blog. I am so very proud and thankful for Julie and Jennifer. They make their Dad proud.

***

My dad asked me the first of the week to write something about my mom. Well, I have had a very busy week. Report cards were due (I’m a teacher.) My boys had a lot of homework. It was difficult to find the time to sit down and gather my thoughts. I was finally able to sit down late last night after a long day of work, after I put the boys to bed, and I began to try to write something.

I thought and I thought, and my heart was so heavy. I went back and read old posts, wanting the Lord to impress something on my heart to write. And all I felt was heaviness. Dad finally called me again about 12:30, and was worried about me being up so late. He told me to go on to bed. I had to get up in about five hours.

When my family writes, they always write something so uplifting. Something that is inspiring. When I spoke at my mother’s funeral, God gave me those words. They came flowing from my heart. Right now, I want to write something inspiring. I mean, my mother was amazing. How hard this could be, you may wonder. When I go back and read all of the posts and look at all of the pictures, my mother was vibrant and faithful and full of joy every single day until the very end. How amazing is that? I wonder what it must have felt like to have been told, “You are going to die. And it will be painful at the end. You only have a few months left.” I can’t imagine what that REALLY, TRULY must have felt like.

I’m sitting here at my computer, and I know I have things I would like to share with you all. Things about my mother and my father. But right now, the ideas won’t come together. My heart is heavy and my eyes are filled with tears. So… I’ve decided to just be honest. To tell it like it really is. It hurts. It hurts to lose your mother. She was 56. In the prime of her life. I would like you all to please continue praying for me and for my family. I will make it. I’m built from stern stuff as my mother would say. But life has changed for me. It just doesn’t seem as bright as it used to be.

I remember the night I found out my mom had a brain tumor... She and Dad told me the day before that they had found out she had lost 25% of her peripheral vision. I knew that something had caused that, but never in a million years did I think she really would have a brain tumor. I remember the seriousness in my father's voice as I listened to him over the phone that Wednesday night. Our life was forever changed.

I remember the day of my mother's surgery. Our family and close friends all waited in the waiting room together. Janet, Dad's sister led us in the song, "How Great Is Our God, Sing with Me How Great Is Our God. How Great Is Our God. He's The Name Above All Names. Worthy to Be Praised. How Great is Our God!" I remember when the doctor came to talk to my dad, my sister and me. He told us they would let us know in a day or two if it was cancerous. I know he really knew then, but he wouldn't tell us anything. I remember telling him, as we walked in to see her, "She's a really special lady."

I remember a couple of days later when the doctor came in the hospital room to tell us her diagnosis. My dad, sister, I, and some of our family members were in the room with her. No one had really looked up much online about brain cancer. And I hadn't done much research, but I did read a little. I remember the moment the words "Glioblastoma Multiforme Stage 4" came out of his mouth. Everyone else in the room had to wait for him to explain what that meant, but as soon as he said those words I knew they were a death sentence. I had read that someone who has that only lives 6-9 months. Immediately tears began to stream down my face. I had to get out of that room. I quickly ran out to the waiting room bawling. I had to pull myself together before I could go back in there. But mom, she barely blinked an eye when they told her. Wow.

I remember going to Cheesecake Factory with her and my sister one day for lunch. I sat there in that restaurant, and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “My mother has a brain tumor! It won’t be long and she won’t be here to be able to have lunch here again with me!” It was the weirdest feeling sitting there with all of those people going on about their daily lives, and my mom was sitting there and she looked as normal as could be, but she was dying.

I remember visiting my mother throughout her illness. She was always giving to us, even though she was sick. She truly had a servant’s heart. On one of my visits from Tampa I had had a busy week so I brought my laundry with me when I came to Jacksonville. We had a busy day, going to the cancer center and then I think we went out to eat. When we got home we decided to take a nap which is something she never, ever did before she got sick. I told her I would do my laundry when I woke up and told her to please just leave it that I would take care of it. Well, as we lay on her bed, she insisted on scratching my back. (Our family likes to scratch backs and give each other massages.) Here she was the one who was sick, and she wouldn’t let me do anything for her, she still wanted to take care of and look out for me. Later when I woke up, I went into the laundry room to do my laundry and found she had already done it! She was dying of brain cancer and was still taking care of herself and looking out for and helping her family as well. I just couldn’t believe she had washed and folded my laundry. I did not want to put her out. She was so sweet….

Well, as I gathered my clothes off of the dryer, I realized… She had forgotten to wash them!! She was at the stage where she was getting a little confused and mixed up with some things. I discovered she had thrown my dirty clothes straight into the dryer without ever washing them and then folded my still dirty clothes! I never told her, but Dad and I sure did get a good laugh out of that one!

I know this post is a little different from the normal posts on this blog. But I just felt like being real today. I miss my mother so much. God has placed some things on my heart that I do want to share. I’ll have to ask Dad when he would like me to do this. I have thoughts swirling around in my mind. Thoughts on my mother’s faithfulness, and on the depth of her love for us ( I mean, what kind of love is that, how sweet, how deep, how real, and how selfless- that she told me she knew who would be good for my father. I’ll have to share that story with you all soon. It happened when we were getting ready to go to lunch one day, as we were putting our makeup on in her bathroom. She told me about Wanda with a sparkle in her eye! That came from her, and from God- that was the farthest thing on our minds! None of us ever thought anything like that about Dad after she would be gone. We wanted her here. We wanted her to get healed.)

I also want to write about her amazing sense of peace and of her deep joy that she had through the great times and that she exuded all the way through death’s valley.

And finally, I want to write about my dad and about Wanda. Both of them have experienced heartache- that comes with life…. But this is truly the most beautiful, special, sweet- oh so sweet christian love story that has ever been. CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES… my mother couldn’t have chosen a more fitting title for her blog.

That is what I think EVERY SINGLE time I open her blog and read her words… CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES.

WANDA'S TRIBUTE TO KRISTY

2009-01-16T07:00:00.002-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

I asked Wanda if she would like to write her thoughts as I finish these last few days of entres on this blog. Wanda has so graciously written a tribute to Kristy. This is amazingly incredible.

***

It is with honor that I write a tribute to Kristy.

I first met Kristy when Jim and I started attending Bartow First Assembly in 1980. It seemed like from the very beginning Kristy and I connected and became good friends. Our children where the same ages, Kristy and I were the same age, we had been married the same about of time and just had a lot of things in common .

I believe, because we were their first converts in the church in Bartow and her love for people, she had a great burden to help disciple and mentor me as she knew I was going to need guidance and direction in my new walk with the Lord. With her kind, gentle spirit that is what she did.

My family enjoyed many times of fellowship with Kristy, Milton and the girls, going to different homes, to McDonalds and Burger King almost every Sunday night after church. We had only been in the church for about six months and Kristy and Milton wanted to go on a trip to the mountains with the youth but could not take Julie and Jennifer. Having no parents here to help them out, Jim and I offered to keep the girls for the week. Kristy entrusted me with the girls even though we had only known each other for a few months. Through this, we became family to each other. When they returned from the trip, her gift of appreciation to me was a devotional book by CorrieTen Boom. Again, there was her gentle, kind, spirit mentoring and helping me to grow in the Lord.

Kristy and I remained friends during their eight years as Pastor in Bartow. She encouraged me to become involved in the church by teaching and being a leader in the ladies ministries . She was my teacher, as I taught others.

As church secretary she treated me very well always making sure I had what I needed to get the job done. As of today, I have a plant in my back yard that she sent to me on Secretary’s Day to show her and Milton’s appreciation to me. She was always thinking of others.

After they left Bartow we continued to stay in touch, seeing them at District Councils and other events. Every time she spoke in the area I always made it a point to try to attend. After she began writing, she always sent to me autographed copies of her books, which I still have and cherish.

Little did I know that years later, when she knew that the Lord was calling her home, that she would feel that I was the one that the Lord would call to be the help that Milton had asked for the night that she went to be with Jesus. I know that the Lord is the one that has put Milton and me together, but I do feel that because of the way Kristy mentored me, she helped prepare me for what the Lord now has for me.

She left a great legacy of love.

A WORN TRAVEL TRAIN CASE

2009-01-15T07:00:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Traveling light is the best way to go. Heavy luggage and too much stuff slows everyone. Kristy knew how to travel and she also lived in a clutter free manner that made efficiency and excellence easier to achieve. I am more of the pack rat but I have learned from her that to keep something beyond its time of usage didn't help present life. Too much stuff is hard to handle and deal with.

Kristy told me to make changes in my house that would allow for new to come alive. She didn't want things to be stuck in time and not have use or value for today. She didn't want her house decor to cover my future and restrict new life from budding. So Norma and Ron have been helping with changes here in my home that Kristy wanted to take place and that I now realize are important too.

As they gathered items that needed to be packed, saved, or stored for my kids and then other items that needed to be given away, nostalgia filled this house and my heart.

I noticed her travel train case that we had made hundreds and hundreds of trips over the years. For almost twelve years we spoke in one to three different church across Florida, the South, the Caribbean, our Nation, and other parts of the world. Trip after trip we packed and unpacked. She kept that travel case ready to go at a moments notice. We both knew how to get things ready in a hurry and when we returned home we both knew how to unpacked quickly.

I have reflected about some of those trips and packing and unpacking over and over again. I can remember only a couple of times or so that we left something at home that we needed on the trip and only a time or so that we felled to get it all back home.

Once I forgot to take a belt that I needed and maybe we left something somewhere that I have forgotten, but pretty much that was it. We just knew how to get going and get back and do it quickly, efficiently, and in the manner to have just what we needed for the events we would participate on each trip.

That took planning and diligence over and over and over and we partnered to make it happen. We traveled and spoke at conferences, seminars, revivals, men and ladies events, and attended all kinds of seminars that we weren't the speakers and learned and gleaned to sharpen our ministry work saws to best help others.

Norma took a couple of items out of that train case that the girls might desire to have, but then she and Ron put it with items to go to bless others. That is what Kristy would want done. She wouldn't keep anything just to keep it. She kept life clutter free. To her, that was the most efficient way to live.

That is how Kristy lived--efficient, effective, with excellence.

That travel train case was worn from use and now it was time to pass it on for others to use. That is what Kristy would want too.

TENDER TEARS OF CHANGE

2009-01-14T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Working through transition is hard, but I promise you that after 37 years with Kristy that she never beat around the bush or waited on anything. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go! That was Kristy all the way. She would not stand for me to be lagging or overly pining away or wilting in life. I know grief is a process that is healed over time by God's grace and I am gradually moving forward in that process.

The day after Kristy's funeral I gave jewelry and clothing of Kristy's to daughters and family members. Changes have been made periodically and gradually all those these last weeks and months.

But change is hard and I have cried tears and then more tears as necessary transition is taking place.

Today I went to pick out a marker for her grave. As mentioned in an earlier post, my daughters and I chose to put on her marker "Pizzazz! Enthusiasm! High Energy!

Those words described Kristy very clearly. I had called the marker company and found that the type of marker for the area Kristy is buried allows only four words on the marker. As I talked on the phone I counted the words on my fingers. Yes, there were exactly four words that we had chosen for Kristy. Amazing! What if they allowed on three words? Or, what if we had chosen ten words? Well, all things work together for good....

Norma has been helping work through some changes here in my house while they are here and Ron is preaching for me. They were present Sunday when Wanda greeted my church and Ron spoke and helped make the introduction easier for Wanda and me.

These changes slowly and smoothly but yet with some hurt have been taking place. It is the right time and is happening in the right way.

I was excited to have Wanda in church on Sunday. She was calm, collected, cool, and cute! It was good to have her with me and it was the first time for us to be in my church together. My congregation could not have been kinder or more gracious. That is just their manner. They are great!

But it was different to have Wanda there and not Kristy. It felt different. It looked different. It was different. That is the obvious.

But that is OK. I know Kristy and I know that she was pleased. She probably wondered why it had taken so long and why everyone took so long to know what she had know first of all as God had shown her God's plan for us to be together. I am blessed and so grateful for God's goodness and faithfulness to me. God know what I need and is here to meet my needs now.

I wept more tears today when I arrived home with the changes. The changes are right. They are good and they are at the right time. But the changes of pictures and some changes of certain decor in the house speak of the obvious again. Kristy is gone. That still hurts.

But the hurt is being comforted and the future is before me and that is what Kristy wanted for me. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go!

This blog is in the process of changing and winding down with a new blog being developed. My daughters and writing some final thought for this blog as Jennifer as already posted her thoughts. I will be sharing final thoughts on this blog over the weekend.

Change is happening. There are tears and there is hurt and there is expectation of new joy and new things and new plans and new dreams and Kristy would want that sooner rather than later.

That was Kristy's way. It is right way for me right now.

JENNIFER: UNIQUE PATHS

2009-01-13T07:00:00.006-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

Jennifer, my youngest daughter, is sharing on today's blog thoughts about her mother and this blog. Jennifer is a great writer and has a marvelous style of writing. I love to read her thoughts.

***

Unique Paths

My dad has asked me to write something for the closing of mom’s blog. I’m not sure my heart is up to the task but I promised I would… please bare with me as my heart is heavy and my eyes brimming with tears. I might jump around but I’ll try my best to make sense.

The last time I visited my mom, before she got really sick and entered hospice, we had an amazing last time together. We went to lunch at Cheesecake Factory and ate dessert together, we had coffee at Starbucks, we went to church for last time together.

Oh the sweet memories… Mom, You where such a good mother…

The most memorable moment was the last time we sat at her kitchen table together. It was late at night, the kids were asleep and it was just us talking about life. She was giving me advice and telling me not to settle in life but to know God had much in store for me and to reach higher.

Oh the memories around that table… Mom, You took such good care of us, you fed our bodies and our souls as well…

At the end of the conversation she said she had a word from the Lord for me. We left the cozy kitchen table for her always well supplied office so I could write down what she had to say. She couldn‘t write anymore. My mom, the woman with unending energy and talent, was now the author who couldn’t write…it was too much of a struggle for her. So I pulled a freshly sharpened pencil from the coffee can turned into a homemade pencil holder one of us had made for her as a kid.

Oh the memories of sweet childhood… Mom, I’ll never forget how you were always home, pouring your heart and soul into your family.

It was late at night and we were both tired (even with terminal brain cancer, the woman was still amazing! ) but we both wanted to get this message written down. Here is what she said to me that late night.

“God has a walk for you. Don’t be surprised but walk as I have in trust. My walk is requiring trust and your walk will too. Don’t be afraid. God has His plan. The steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord. Just as He has had me walk this unique path, a unique path will befall you. Just keep living for the Lord and He will reveal it. Trust is the important word in unique paths and as we trust He will work out Romans 8:28”

Oh the memories of her alive talking… Mom, I’ll never forget that even though you were the one dying, you wanted us to be ok!

By now most who are reading know my mom’s unique path led her into the waiting arms of Jesus. She won! She won on July 21^st when she left this world and entered heaven.

But what of us? What of us, those she left behind? I’m still discovering what unique paths God has for me. So far there have been lots of twists and turns that I didn’t expect but her words from that night ring in my ears. Trust. I will trust as I follow Him on whatever unique path he has in store. I will remember back to the truths my mom helped put in my heart. I will pull from the strength her wonderful example gives.

Mom, I will never forget you. Part of you is inside of me. All you taught me, all you wanted me to be is inside…thank you mom… I will carry you in my heart forever.

THOUGHTS AND MORE THOUGHTS

2009-01-12T07:00:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I am winding down my thoughts to be posted on this blog. It is a great blog started by a great, classy lady. Stroll back through Kristy's past writings and you will read a love story that will continue forever.

Kristy oozed romance and she made me a romantic. I assure you that Wanda is and will be a recipient of love cultivated in me that will show and share romantic expressions in both word and deed.

I will write more. Wanda and I have agreed that I will write more but it obviously will have a new and different view.

Today as I talked with me sister Norma she offered a book title that I may well use as I write the love stories of my heart. I will tell you the suggested title at a later time. This will be a connecting story linking the past love with the new love. I believe it will make a great book. Hopefully one day you will see it in print.

New love, after sharing love as Kristy and I did , takes some adjustment and time and the ability to let the new cultivate and grow. I am so very thankful that God brought Wanda into my life now rather than a year or two from now. Every person who loses a spouse deals with it in different ways, but for me it would have been unbearable to face without the love and comfort that Wanda has been able to share. She has been kind, gracious, and amazingly secure through all this process.

Today Wanda went to church with me where I pastor for the first time. My parents were there along with sis Norma and Ron, her husband. I briefly introduced her to the church and she greeted the people with grace, humility, dignity, and class. Her sweetness and love reached out to people who still hurt over Kristy's passing. Wanda told the church that she loved Kristy and understood their hurts. She said that she loved Kristy too. She said that Kristy was her mentor and they were friends. Wanda made an amazing speech that really touched my heart and I believe touched all who were present.

The new blog is coming, but for the next couple of days or so my girls and I will write reflective conclusions for this part of this blog's life.

I hope that many of you will post your thoughts in the comments section about Kristy and her impact on your life. It would bless my girls and me if you did. I will include some of the comments in the main body of a future post. Thank you for your love and prayers for my family and me. I am grateful.

This christian love story will continue and will always be here on this blog. It will be a testimony to Kristy's heart and love.

LOOK WHAT IS IN MY CHURCH OFFICE

2009-01-11T07:00:00.006-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I have received many bits of advice and wisdom as I have walked through these last weeks and months dealing first with Kristy's illness, then death, grief, and now a new love coming into my life. It has not been an easy journey and there has been more than one surprise along the way.

But God remains faithful to me through it all.

Wanda and I have talked at length about my grief, our love, and the future. She is a God send to me and has been just what I need. Truly God provided a new friend and love to help me and bring comfort to me. She has become my very best friend.

But is still has some rough spots. I will admit it. We both loved our spouses and my loss is still up front, fresh, and with some very raw edges. I am moving through this a the pace that God is leading and setting for me, and thankfully each day I have felt His wonderful, comforting presence.

Wanda is in Jacksonville this weekend as my parents are acting as our chaperons. We went on a double date for dinner with mom and dad sitting in the back seat as I drove. Dad told me to use both hands, but I told him I had to drive with one. HA! It is Biblical, according to dad, to take your parents on your dates. He said that Samson took his parents on his dates.

Before Wanda arrived for this visit, I changed a few things at my church office. I moved a few pictures and rearranged some pictures and remembrances of the past. It was hard to do, but it was the right thing to do and it was the right time to do it.

I took Wanda to my church office, again with my parents, and showed her around. I pointed to a beautiful framed picture of Christ hands extended hanging in my office and asked if she remembered it?

She said, "No."

I asked her to look closer and she read the engraved inscription noting it as a gift from the Bartow Church, her church, where I pastored many year ago. It was a gift from the church to Kristy and me for our one year anniversary at the church in 1981. That brought back some memories for both of us. Wanda was there the night they gave it to us.

Then Wanda pointed below the picture to a very finely stitched picture of "praying hands."

Wanda asked, "Do you remember this?"

I looked closely and said, "No."

I looked closer and then it came to me. This was a cross stitched picture Wanda made for Kristy and me almost twenty-five years ago. There were her stitched initials on the bottom.

It was incredible.

I had totally forgotten this picture and who and where it came from and amazingly this stitched framed picture remained with me for all those years. Through these 38 years of ministry untold gifts like this one have so kindly been shared with Kristy and me, but this one remained with me and was in my office. It was a precious gift from Wanda to Kristy and me.

I cannot believe that I still had it and that it was displayed in my office.

It was as if God was confirming again His will for my life and our lives. On the first day that Wanda arrived which was the day after I had re-arranged pictures and remembrances, all of a sudden there was something from Wanda that just happened to be placed in the room. She saw it and it spoke to me and to us. It was if God was saying I am making a change and now is the time for Wanda to move into the picture.

God is neat. He does things special. He confirms His will in amazing ways.

God is good.

A FOUR WHEELER STOPS WITH A BIG THUD!

2009-01-10T07:00:00.007-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Fast forward to this past New Year's Day.

Wanda and I just arrived in Tallahassee, FL, for a brief visit for me to meet her mother and siblings. Her daughter, Jennifer, lives there with her husband, Paul, and son, Alexander. Yes, we both have a Jennifer and an Alexander.

We had been at Jennifer's home less than 5 minutes when we watched Paul and Alexander ride past the front of their house on a four wheeler. They have a beautiful home on acreage out in the country. Paul raced by the house on the dirt road as he and Alex were enjoying riding.

Just as they raced past my eyesight as I looked out the front windows of their house, I heard a hard thud sound and the four wheeler engine noised stopped. It happened suddenly leaving a very eery feeling.

"That didn't sound good," Jennifer said. And we opened the front door to check on Paul and Alex.

My heart stopped as I saw a horrible sight. The four wheeler was upside down on top of Paul and ten year old Alexander was screaming and running around begging for help.

Jennifer dashed toward them and I was right behind her with Wanda trailing me. Jennifer said, "Call 911."

I turned and yelled to Wanda to go back into the house and call 911, and I chased after Jennifer as we both ran to check on Paul. I could see a puddle of blood and Paul was face down into that blood and he wasn't moving and the big, heavy four wheeler was on top of him.

It looked bad, real bad. He looked dead at a distance. Images raced through my mind with all kinds of fears. I had comforted many families through the years whose loved ones had broken necks, died, or had life altering injuries from less accidents than this one appeared to be. This looked horrible.

Alex was screaming and running around in shock. He was scared silly. His dad was hurt and we didn't know how severe. As I got closer the image of the blood under his face and the four wheeler on top of him got bigger and more serious looking.

Is he paralyzed? Or brain damaged? Or have broken bones? Or hemorrhaging?

Will he rupture with internal bleeding if I can manage to get the four wheeler off him? Is he hemorrhaging now and will he die and will I have a wife, son, and mother-in--law in shock in a few moments. All kinds of thought were running through my minds as I raced to help.

Jennifer was screaming now, "We got to get it off him."

I am quickly looking the scene over to see if pulling it off quickly will do more arm than not. Blood and more blood was under his face. He was laying face down in that blood with the huge four wheeler on top of him.

Paul begins to moan and cry out and Jennifer is screaming and begging God and I am praying hard for mercy and trusting their are no internal hemorrhages or brain damage.

Before I could say anything to Jennifer about the wisdom of pulling the four wheeler off or not, she begins to try to get it off Paul. This was a very big four wheeler and she can't budge it. I reach up and try to pick it off and can't move it and she says we have to get it off. It seems too much, but I can't stop and I heaved again with one more huge try and we lift it off.

Paul is writhing now. I can see by his movement there is no paralysis, but the blood is puddling and I look to see if there were signs of internal injury. He begins to cry out and move around and is coming out from being knocked out. . But the possibility internal injury is looming.

We were way out in the country and it will take a while for 911 to respond. Paul began to writhe more and I tried to keep him still and quiet, but he moved more and more. He tried to sit up and I tried to keep him still as I was fearful of internal injuries.

His face was a bloody pulp with gashes all over the back of his head and side and front of his face. He looked like someone had wrapped his face in a bloody towel. It was puffy and swollen and dirt was all over into the blood and the gashes and puncture wounds were looking horrible.

He began to come out of a daze and Jennifer asked him a question and he is confused but finally answers partially. He looks terrible and I am wondering if internal injuries are going to get him. Finally first responder county fire fighters arrive and begin to try to treat Paul and Alex who is now complaining of his head hurting and is really upset. Later ambulances arrived and prepared them for transport to the ER.

I prayed with Alex and Paul and Jennifer. I had been praying under my breathe and out loud some.

They kept Paul several days in the hospital. God was merciful and Alex had bruises and minor scratches so he didn't have to stay in the hospital. Paul had a broken collar bone, three cracked ribs, and a punctured lung, and bad puncture wounds on his face.

Paul was fortunate and blessed in spite of those injuries. It could have been much, much, worse.

That morning before all this happened, Wanda and I had prayed for Paul, Jennifer, and Alexander as well as other family members. God had heard our prayers. He kept them for severe, serious physical harm. They both could have been killed.

Later I remembered what God spoke to me ten days after Kristy's funeral service when He woke me up early in the morning and told me, "Wanda is the one of I have for you. She will bless you and bless your children, and you will bless her and bless her children."

Those words were coming true. That day I had blessed her children. I had helped save Paul's life from worse harm and had blessed them by being there in a serious time of need. Yes, God was blessing me through Wanda, and I was blessing her and her children.

Wanda and I worked together well in a very urgent and severe test. We did good, and I was able to bless her and her children.

A SPIRITUALLY HOT DATE....

2009-01-09T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Driving back from Winter Park to Jacksonville my cell phone rang and it was Jennifer calling from San Juan, Puerto Rico.

"How did the date go, Dad," Jennifer asked?

She and Julie wanted to know what was going on and how my first date with Wanda had gone. Can you believe that I am even writing such a thing--date? I had just gone on a date? What is that?

"We had fun. We had a ball. Everything was fine," I said back to her.

"Well, I have two questions to ask you," Jennifer said. "First, were you attracted to her?"

Jennifer knew that we hadn't seen each other and she knew that God wanted Wanda and me to be together, but she also knew that we would need to be attracted to each other. So that was her question. Did you like being with her? Are you attracted to her?

"Yes, Jennifer," I said. I really liked being with her and she is a beautiful lady and I was attracted t her."

"Good," she said.

"OK here is the second question," Jennifer laughing as she spoke. "Julie and I made a bet between each other and we want to know who wins the bet?"

"What was your bet," I asked?

"We bet whether or not you kissed her."

"You bet what," I asked as I laughed over the cell phone driving up I-95? "Who bet which way?"

"Julie bet you kissed her. I bet you would not kiss her," she cackled over the phone.

We were both breaking up laughing and laughing.

"Well, you won, Jennifer," I said. "We didn't kiss."

I told Jennifer that I had told Wanda that Mama said that I couldn't kiss on the first date. We both are dying laughing now. I am trying to keep it together driving up I-95. I did have a ear phone for safe driving, but it was so funny to hear my daughter tell about their bet.

I don't know what they bet or how much they wagered, but I do know they were having some fun with their Dad.

"Jennifer, I told Wanda that I probably wouldn't ever kiss another woman until I marry her. So we have made a vow and we're going to keep it."

She says, "Wow, Dad, that is something."

My 84 year old minister father told me that I was dumb for having such vow and so did my mother so I guess it would be OK to kiss, but we didn't and haven't yet.

I laughed and laughed with Jennifer as I drove up I-95 towards Jacksonville after my spiritual but "hot date" with Wanda. Can preachers go on hot dates? My answer--yes, if it is a spiritual date too.

Our date was spiritual.

***

It looks as if my potential blog name needs a little work--even my daughter Julie thought it needed helped. Jennifer liked the title, but I had a few moments to talk with her and explain my reason for considering it.

I will pray about it and brainstorm more. We'll see what rises to the top of the best ideas and most of all what it seems God's suggestion might be.

WANDA BROUGHT HER BIBLE

2009-01-08T07:00:00.007-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Wanda brought he Bible on our first date. I had asked her if there was something that God had shown her about God's plan for her and for us. After lunch while we sat in Starbucks and had coffee, she took her Bible and shared a few Scriptures with me. She read from the Old Testament and we talked about how God had been speaking to her, to me, and to us. We had been praying nightly together over the phone and God was confirming His will to us.

Christian romance was what this was all about. It was about two very committed believers walking with God and God leading their lives and good things coming out of holy and good relationship. Christ was at the center of this new love and relationship.

Can you have fun and take your Bible on your first date?

Yes, we were having fun. I like to laugh and tell jokes and poke fun and tease some and see if I can get a stir out of someone. And Wanda likes to laugh too and Lord knows both of us needed some laughing.

But this relationship was also spiritual. You learn after going through what both of us had with losing spouses that we each dearly loved that life is short, things changed quickly, and we have no assurance of tomorrow. So, we have to make things count and the best way to make things count is to make sure that God is at the top of the list and that you are following Him.

That is what Wanda and I were doing. We were trying with all of our hearts to follow Him and make sure He was at the top of our list.

It is really amazingly, incredible how God connected us so quickly with our children's blessings and that we connected and had so much fun and yet it was spiritual, and good, and clean, and pure and we knew that it felt right. There would be no regrets because God was at the top of the list.

This relationship is right. It is spiritual. It is fun. He has the peace of God in it.

We left Winter Park that afternoon and we had a very good date.

***

Tomorrow I will write about a bet that my daughters made between each other about our first date. I am going to quickly wrap of this phase of telling about my first love in the next day or so and then write some concluding thoughts on this blog.

My thoughts will then be written on a new blog that will be linked from this blog to the new site for readers to follow. That will happen in a week or so.

My idea for the new blog title is:

Plea -- an appeal to the higher good--

How does that sound?

I haven't finalized that yet, but I have been praying over it and that is a focused description of a what a major part of my calling and personal purpose is all about. My life and calling to a great degree has been a "Plea" for people to live for the higher good that is found in serving the Lord. I am called to preach and part of preaching is to plea for the higher good.

The new blog will not be a preachy blog, but it will be an inspirational, funny, romantic, encouraging, motivational, personal, and with a wide ranging style of writings that will push couples, individuals, young and old, believers, and unbelievers to the higher good.

I still have to write about Carrabelle, FL and Barney's cousin and funny church stuff and small towns and life and death and falling down and getting up and trying over and over and a lot of good that always overcomes the bad.

Good is better than bad.

Tell me what you thing--the good, the bad, the ugly about this potential blog name.

Plea--an appeal to the higher good

If I can't handle it, then the filter will wipe it away.

Ha!

MAMA SAID, "DON'T KISS....."

2009-01-07T07:00:00.011-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

So Wanda and I were falling in love.

Yes, it is a new, blossoming love. It is not the full mature love that it will be as we commit our lives to each other and learn each other and help each other and grow together and fulfill God's plan and destiny for this new love. It will grow and it will grow solid with maturity and grace and kindness and joy and excitement and blessing and ministry and forbearance and long-suffering kindness.

This love will grow and it will be wonderful.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity we were able to arrange to see each other. We had our children's blessings and we had accountability partner's blessings and we were ready and excited to see each other.

So, where does a preacher take a lady friend, a new love, on a first date? We had limited time and a distance to drive and we wanted to be discreet and under the public radar.

So where should we go? What do we do?

Well, preachers go to church. That is where preachers go. I'll take her to church.

Actually we met at Calvary Assembly in Winter Park, Fl in their parking lot at noon on a Friday and left Wanda's car and I took her to a nice restaurant for lunch in Winter Park.

You cannot imagine the awkwardness that I felt as I drove to the parking lot to meet Wanda. I had not dated anyone but Kristy for almost 40 years. I had already told this lady that I loved her even though we had not been together or seen each other yet. And, there were all of those affirmations that she was the one that were looming in my mind.

But we had not seen each other, and we had fallen in love.

What do I do if we are not attracted to each other? What if she doesn't really like me after being with me? I had not looked at Wanda real close. I told her over the phone that I liked black hair also besides red hair, and she told me that she didn't have red hair or black hair. I thought she had black hair. I knew her hair wasn't red, but I thought it was black. She said it wasn't black and then I wondered as we talked over the phone what she really looked like. I really hadn't paid close attention to details in the past about Wanda, but now the details were beginning to get really important.

Isaac and Rebecca had an arranged marriage by God. Eliezer, Abraham's servant, found Rebecca for Isaac through God's guidance without them ever having seen each other. As the events worked out, later Isaac did fall in love with Rebecca as she was the chosen one for him, but the Bible says that Rebecca was "very fair to look upon." She wasn't ugly. That would not have been as nice of a story if Rebecca had been ugly as a mud fence!

Well, I was beginning to think about the "pretty" aspect of this relationship. Yes, we had fallen in love. We fell in love over the phone. No, I didn't think I would change my mind once I saw her regardless of how she looked. I wondered if she would change her mind once she saw me?

Also, I had kidded Wanda in one of our phone conversations and told her that my mother said that I couldn't kiss on the first date. She laughed. I laughed. We laughed. She said something like I wouldn't have to worry about that anyway.

And then I added.

"Wanda, you may think that I am crazy, but I will probably not ever kiss another woman until she is my wife."

Silence, again for a few moments.

"I am OK with that," she said.

And we haven't kissed. We have made a vow to each other and to God. We will kiss only after we are married.

So some of the ground rules for dating had been set. We would have lunch. We would spend the afternoon in Winter Park and then head back to our separate homes before it got dark or too late.

As I drove into the parking lot I was nervous--very nervous. I had preached at that mega-church several times in the past with its rising escalator going up into the sanctuary and its orchestra pit behind the pulpit and its 6,000 or so seats, but I was much more nervous driving to see Wanda than when I had preached in that big church.

How will this go? Will I say the right things? Will we have fun? What color is her hair?

I arrived and she was already there and I went up to her door to greet her. We said something but I don't know what and then we drove into Winter Park to have lunch. I got lost for a moment or so and then I got my bearings and found the restaurant.

We were seated and talked about how things were and how nice it was to see each other and not have to talk on the phone. The server brought some bread and we talked,

but I was looking. I was staring.

I was looking deep into her eyes and noticing hair color. It is brunette. And I was looking at her skin and, and, and, I was just looking and looking and looking. Of course, in a godly sort of way. Yes, men can look and not lust. I just wanted to see what this lady looked like.

Here is the short answer.

Yes, I liked what I saw.

I liked how she was poised. I liked that she wasn't timid, or shy, or loud, or too quiet, or intimidated or taken back by this fellow who was looking this lady over. I looked into those pretty brown eyes and I saw sweetness, and kindness, and maturity, and trust, and compassion. I could see wisdom and faithfulness and generosity and trustworthiness. And she is tiny. She is dainty and tiny. I saw more in a few moments than I had ever noticed about Wanda Dunsford.

I could tell that she knew that I was looking at her. I told her that I was staring at her, and she said that she knew that I was. But she wasn't bothered by my staring. It didn't seem to upset her. She sat there as we talked and I stared.

And we were having a great time. The lunch went fast and the awkwardness melted. We laughed and we talked about Kristy and Jim and Julie, and two Jennifer's, and Mark, and Tara, and seven grandchildren and son-in-laws, and we talked about life and future and likes and dislikes and told some funny stories and remembered successes and disappointments, and good times and tough times. And I wiped some tears and she had compassion and empathy and I felt better.

And we walked up and down the shopping area of Winter Park and in a small park there and got Starbucks and sat and talked and talked some more and looked in some stores and got some ice cream and laughed and forgot some deep troubles and had fun.

We were having fun. The relationship and friendship were growing. It was happening fast. Jennifer, my Jennifer, said it would happen fast and I didn't hear her. Jennifer was right.

Our commonalities were becoming evident. I could see how we were different and would complete each other and I could see a sweet, beautiful lady who I was falling in love with and who was falling in love with me.

READ WHAT WANDA WRITES.....

2009-01-06T07:00:00.007-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Today Wanda has written her thoughts on our new love and how God confirmed it in her heart and mind. She is a very committed believer and is diligent about her walk with God. It has amazed me how patient, mature, thoughtful, and kind she has been in this whole process of developing a friendship and a loving relationship--all while I write on this blog and the blogworld comments.

My Mom mentioned to us last week that Wanda is a very special lady. Mom said, "Few people have the ability to walk through the last few weeks as Wanda with grace and dignity as Wanda has."

I called Wanda. She did not call me. God put it into my heart to call her probably much sooner after Kristy's passing than I would recommend to others as a pastor, but God led that way and it was confirmed by family and godly counsel.

But Wanda also faithfully listened to the Lord and followed His leading for her life. I admire her and am grateful that God brought her to me.

***

Here is what Wanda has to share:

After my husband passed away, I really had no desire for another mate. Because of my great love for Jim, I had no desire to remarry as I felt that I would never be able to find anyone else that would be as great a husband and a father to our children like Jim was. People told me that I would find someone else, and my comment was always that if it happened God would have to send him to me as I would not be out looking. During this time in my life I just remained still as the Lord had told me, and prayed for the Lords guidance and direction in my life. I had become comfortable with single life and felt that if this is what God had that it was okay with me.

Four years after my husband’s passing, I took a trip to New York with our current Pastor and his wife and the Lord used them to minister to me and help me realize that it was okay to move on with my life. Sometimes the Lord just has to get you away to speak to you. After I returned from this trip I finally realized that I had fulfilled my vows to my husband – till death do us part and that it was Okay to move on in life. At this time I did change my prayer and began to pray that if the Lord did have someone for me that I was open, but that He would have to send him to me as I had said before , I would not go out looking.

When Milton called me the first time I was surprised. He told me that He felt that I had a need and he felt led to call me to see if he could help me.

In my mind my first response was, "Yeah, right!"

As we continued to talk during the next several weeks I realized that maybe I did have a need. I actually had someone to talk to at night and I was beginning to enjoy that. I knew that God was beginning to do something in my life. Milton had not shared with me any of the other stories, only what Kristy had said about us.

I began to really seek God in prayer as I did not want this to go any further if it was not His plan. I went to church on a Wednesday night and our Children’s Pastor spoke that night on “I Surrender All.” The scripture she used was the same one that God had been speaking to me right after Jim’s home-going, “Be Still and Know that I am God.” I knew at that moment that God was fixing to do something special in my life and He prompted me again to Be still and listen!

That is exactly what I did and the Lord began to give me scripture after scripture to let me know that Milton was the one that He was sending into my life. One scripture was Jeremiah 29:11 – "For I know the plans I have for you and through this scripture he let me know that through my pain, suffering and hardship that he was about to see me through to a glorious conclusion."

The morning after Jim’s passing the Lord gave me the scripture Philippians 1:12 “Now I want you to know brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advanced the gospel.” This was such a peace to me as I knew that the Lord was going to use his death to further the Kingdom. I have already seen this scripture come about in my family, within co-workers that worked with Jim, and personal friends. They saw the life that Jim lived and realized that it could be taken away at any time and they wanted their life to count as Jim’s had.

After talking with Milton and realizing that I was falling in love with him, the Lord brought this scripture back to me and let me know that through us, Milton and I, that this scripture was going to be fulfilled even further.

Another confirmation that all was going to be OK was I had gone to church on a Sunday morning and during worship I had strong urgency to go forward and get on my face to pray concerning all that was transpiring between Milton and I. The Lord spoke to me and told me that this relationship was like a puzzle and that He was putting it together piece by piece and that when he completed it was going to be one beautiful picture. That was what I needed to let me know that Milton was the one that the Lord was sending into my life.

After we had been seeing each other for several weeks I shared with my children about what all the Lord had told Milton, Jennifer, Julie and Norma. My daughter then began to weep and told me that she had felt for some time that Milton and I would be together. There were many more affirmations that the Lord gave me. My pastor told me that the Lord had to give me this many to let me know that it was okay to move on with my life.

And that is exactly what I am doing.

STILL FEELING VERY AWKWARD.....

2009-01-05T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

So how does talk on the phone turn into love?

We talked and talked. Life alone at home without anyone around after 8 PM or so is very boring, lonely, and difficult. Now I had someone who understood my hurts and cared. Wanda is a very caring, tender, loving person. She has worked in the same church office for almost 27 years and is loved and respected by everyone because she is a kind, sweet lady. She is a gifted lady and she is a very respected lady.

All of amazing talents and spiritual virtues began to come alive over that phone. I am not one who likes to talk at length over the phone, but things had changed. We got past my shocking announcement about Kristy and even moved forward into talk that definitely was laying ground work for a longer term relationship.

We prayed at the end of every conversation. I prayed for her family and for healing yet present in Wanda's life over losing Jim five years ago, and she prayed for me, my children, and many other matters in my life. God was in the relationship. Christ had a front row seat. He was leading and guiding in clear and specific ways.

Weeks pasted with talk and more talk and then one night I mentioned that I would like to see her. Her first response was, "What will your daughters think about this?"

I knew what Jennifer thought because she had already blurted out that Wanda was the one that God had for me, but I didn't tell Wanda even then what Jennifer had said.

I did say that I knew that Jennifer would be OK with us meeting and I felt that Julie would be OK too. We agreed to talk individually with our children about their feelings about us seeing each other and I told Wanda that I wanted to also talk to my accountability partners about us seeing each other. She said she would talk to her children and we would make our decision on whether we would see each other and when based on the responses from everyone.

In the meantime, we kept talking and talking some more. We found that everyone was in agreement that us seeing each other was OK and we began to talk about how to make that happen.

Bartow is three and a half hours south of Jacksonville. She has a job. I pastor a church. Where and when and how could we meet.

A date?

I was going to have a date?

The preacher was going on a date?

I haven't dated anyone but Kristy in 37 years. Wanda hadn't dated anyone but Jim in almost 37 years. How do you go on a date? What do you do on a date? Well, Kristy and I still had dates all of our married lives so I wasn't dead in the water on how to have a date, but now I am dating someone else.

We kept talking and the conversations were getting interesting. We had connected by phone. The phone lines were tied up every night. There was a definite connection going on here. There were feelings of more than "gratitude" or "respect" or "admiration" or what were some of those other words I used to describe our relationship.

The conversations were ending nightly but we growing awkwardness. "Goodbye" or "good night" or "we'll talk later" seemed a little hallow to end the conversations.

But do I dare tell her that I......,

that I........,

that I......, oh it is coming back--that awkwardness.

How do you tell someone that you love them and it isn't a brotherly or sisterly or general or casual or spiritual or christian or any other word you would like to describe......kind of love.

How do I tell this woman that I love her?

It won't come out of my mouth, but I feel it in my heart. For several nights I could sense that she wanted to say I......, I........, I......., but she was the lady and she wouldn't say it.

She loved me. I could feel it over the phone.

She wouldn't say it and I couldn't say it.

I had concrete in my mouth. The syllables wouldn't form. They words wouldn't come out. There was love in the air and love on the phone but the words I love......, I love......., I love.....

Oh, shucks..... The words I love you, Wanda, wouldn't come out of my mouth. They were stuck in concrete. What could I do to free those words? How could I get them out of my mouth?

So, we are talking, and talking, and talking, and praying, and praying, and praying, and saying goodnight, goodbye, see you tomorrow and those words wouldn't come out of my mouth.

Finally, at the end of one of the conversations this dumb preacher got an idea. Preachers preach. That is what we do. I preach. I know I Corinthians 13. I have memorized that chapter years and years ago. I know about love. I have preached about love. I have diagrammed love and explained love and I have counseled about love and so here was my idea.

I would preach her a sermon.

So I got my best ideas about love together as we ended of one of the conversations and I preached about love.

"Now, Wanda," I said, "Love has many aspects. We love God and we love mankind and we love our children and we love our brothers and sisters in Christ and we know that love is more than an emotion or mere happiness or or joy or the gratification of the flesh. God is love and when He comes into our hearts and fills us with His love then we know how to love......blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, boring, boring, and more and more boring."

"Now, Wanda," (Isn't this lady special. She didn't hang up or go to sleep on my sermon. No I didn't take up an offering, but I should have had a poem.)

"Now, Wanda," I continued, "God has given us the ability to express our love in many ways. More, blah, blah, blah....."

"Now, Wanda, I said, "I......I.....I.....I love.....I love.... I love you."

I got it out. Finally the concrete had been broken up and I had gotten those words out.

So I waited.

Silence.

More silence.

Was she going to preach a sermon to me? Did my sermon put her to sleep and she missed by important closing?

"And I love you...." she sweetly whispered without a poem, offering, or long winded message.

"I love you," she said.

***

As some of you may have read in the comments sections yesterday, I will be starting another blog in a week or so. This blog will always be here with occasional posts from time to time by family. I have written in Kristy's absence and have written for the last months to tell the story of my new love that Kristy felt God had for me and that God has shown my daughters, me,my family, and Wanda, and her family.

Now it is time to move toward other writing as I finish telling the new love story of my life. There will be a link from this blog to my new blog when the change occurs. Thanks for your continued prayers for me, my family, and now for Wanda and me and her family as we follow God's plan and will for our lives.

LIKING TURNS INTO .....

2009-01-04T07:00:00.010-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Is it possible to know that someone is right for you and that God is in it and to yet know that you have not yet have fallen in love with them? Does God speak His mind and heart before feelings, emotions, romance, attraction, fun, sparks, dating, or any other "normal" dimensions of relationship building takes place?

Does God speak to us in the manner that He spoke to me in my inner man saying that "Wanda is the one that I have for you....." Is it possible that I just had an emotional moment and got caught up into something that I felt or think is God and really it is just a spiritually, emotional meltdown?

I know the answers to these questions in my heart. There were becoming too many affirmations from too many sources that were not connected and had no reason to push this new love. Kristy felt this new love before her death. A voice came to me in the night that said Wanda was the one God had for me. Jennifer, my youngest daughter, blurted out that she knew who God had for me and later told me that it was Wanda. And there were others to come who were totally separate from each other.

How could all this happen? Had they seen something that would point to this relationship? Had they all talked and collaberated? Was this a grand scheme?

My mind went to the story of Abraham sending his servant, Eliezer, to get a bride for Isaac. This was a prearranged marriage that began in the heart of God. Eliezer prayed for guidance as he went to Abraham's home land to seek a bride. The story notes divine direction, diving order, divine obedience, diving faith, and divine excitement. I am sure that Isaac prayed over this matter but he wasn't specifically involved in the procuring process. (Now doens't that sound just like a man--"procuring process".) We do not have a Biblical record that Rebecca was praying before Eliezer got there or that she prayed after she gave him and his camel's water to drink, but I am sure she must have prayed, and we know that Isaac was meditating in the field when Rebeccca arrived on the very camels she had watered for Eliezer.

Here is the kicker about Isaac and Rebecca's love story. God directed this relationship and ordered their steps and before they fell in love. Eliezer told Rebecca's family about his servant Abraham and Abraham's son Isaac's need for a wife. Both Isaac and Rebecca had to "buy into" this miraculous romance. They had not dated, or written, or spent nights on long phone calls, or spent any time together, but they accepted what God was doing and we read that they fell in love later. I will write more about Isaac and Rebecca and Eliezer in future posts.

That is what had to happen in the new relationship between Wanda and me. I didn't fall in love with Wanda to prove the affirmations, but when I did fall in love I already knew God had ordered this relationship. God had spoken very clearly to me and I had to walk it out and still am to see and let God affirm all of what I had been told.

And, Wanda had to work out all this in her mind and heart before God. She is a lady of prayer and God had some answers to her questions that would give her peace of heart and mind.

God is faithful.

This may seem like I am in an eternal circle in describing what happened, but I am just trying to make a couple of points. First, God was definitely speaking in this matter, and second we had to connect or develop a deeper friendship and fall in love or none of those voices or words mattered and it all had to happen naturally without pressure.

Wanda is well respected by all that know her. My family all have affirmed my life and walk. Wanda loved Jim deeply and I respected him and Wanda. I loved Kristy with all my heart and Wanda respected Kristy and me. All of our relationships had been honorable and pure.

When these unusual happening began to occur, I didn't tell anyone. I kept them in my heart. I waited to see if things would turn toward Wanda. I am writing this story reflecting back and now have a greater confidence it what happened and those "words" and "voices" that all pointed toward Wanda.

But we still hadn't fallen in love. Our relationship was one of mutual respect. Years ago we had a work relationship with honor and no attraction. There was no reason for attraction.

Admiration? Yes.

Respect? Yes.

Attraction? No.

We were both very happy with our marriages and had worked hard to have great marriages and worked hard to honor God in our marriages.

So how did respect, honor, admiration turn into love?

The more we talked on the phone nightly the more common interests, purpose, goals, and future began to collide in a good and peaceful way. We liked talking. We like talking to each other. We have commonality. There just was an amazing connection taking place.

To be honest about it I really didn't know that Wanda could talk that much. She had always been so quiet around me.

She always was, "Yes sir to me." or "No sir."

Could I get that to continue? That is a little joke....very little. That certainly wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted now. I did not want a boss" relationship as we had years earlier.

I didn't want to hear "Yes sir" from her. I wanted something dear, sweet, loving, and filled with kindness from her.

I know we must have had conversations of some length in the past, but I can't ever remember a one of them. We talked but we didn't talk so much. She was quiet. Respectful. Dutiful. Efficient. Kind. Thoughtful.

But she wasn't a talker.

At least that is what I thought.

Now we couldn't get off the phone. We had clear, good, common communication. I was liking what I was hearing. The common interests were connecting, clicking, and coming at a very fast pace. The more we talked the more I liked and the more I liked the more I.....

Was this turning into love?

Quiet. Respect. Dutiful. Efficient. Kind. Thoughtful.

Was all that now turning into a new love?

All those words and voices were standing behind me. They were helping affirm and solidify that this was a godly, good thing. It was feeling right not because I felt that I had to fall in love because I had no choice in the matter. I wasn't about to make a relationship "happen" to fulfill a wish by Kristy or a voice the came to me in the night or to make Jennifer's blurted out word come true.

If we couldn't love each other because we love each other then all those experiences would just become unusual happenings that I would look back on one day with more humor than anything else.

So how did Wanda process me telling her that Kristy said she was the one for me? It took her several days to work through what I had shared. She is mature and not gullible or easily shaken, but this was a fairly bold move on my part.

Or was it?

Did God have me to blurt that out or no? Looking back I think that God was in that to move the relationship in a more serious, faster moving manner.

Wanda did process it and she did by waiting on God and letting Him prove himself. She told me later that I was moving too fast. What I had told her about Kristy knowing who God wanted me to marry caused her to take pause and go to God in prayer. She could have easily been totally turned off by all this, but she did respect Kristy and admired Kristy as a mentor. She know the life that Kristy lived and had respect for me even though this was one surprising jolt.

Somehow and I am not sure how but we worked through that and now it seems to both of us that somehow it was amazingly providential that I said that to her. There may have been subconscious pychological ramifications to all of this, but it wasn't planned or contrived or made up. This is a real story told with real honesty with real hearts to honor God.

After a few days the calls continued and liking began to turn into .....

WANDA: "I AM PROCESSING..."

2009-01-03T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I waited to get an email back to me from Wanda after my first and only snail mail letter to her but several days passed with no response. She had sent me a brief text message wishing me happy birthday and I sent a brief response back to her, I was headed into a counseling session when I received that text and sent one back to thank her and said that I had a counseling session and couldn’t talk or text or something like that. I guess the awkwardness was still there for me.

After a couple more days or so I had not received a letter or email so I called Wanda and asked if she would send me her email address and she said she would but didn’t say when she would. I asked if she could send it soon. She said she would and did and I emailed her and asked if I could call her again. She said that would be OK and in another day or so I called her.

We talked nightly for a number of days and you cannot imagine how much comfort that brought me in the evenings after returning home from a day of ministry and work. Everything seems to go fine during the day but when you pull into a driveway into a garage and walk into a house that used to be a home you can only imagine the hurt, loneliness, and pain that follows.

Wanda became a friend to help blunt the pain. She was a voice to hear my hurt. She took time and with a caring ear and heart helped me. She was a God send. She was a God sent help to me. There was an immediate connect, comfort, and consoling deep within me that was on a very high spiritual level and reached deep to the lowest pains of my mind, spirit, and body.

Our conversations from the very first always ended in prayer. She prayed for me for healing for me and for my children. I prayed for her and her children and for God's healing in her life. She still had some hurt and questions even thought Jim had been in heaven for over five years. A spiritual friendship was blooming. A partnership of faith and trust in God was developing. We laughed and cried and I wept. She understood and comforted.

But it was more than grief comfort or counsel. God was releasing healing and tenderness and we both were feeling it. And God was in the center of it. We prayed and God was in the relationship from the very beginning.

Night after night after work the conversations continued. Finally, after a number of late evening conversations I told Wanda that I had something to say that was going to shock her. I think I said I didn’t know why I am telling you this but I feel like I need to tell you something.

I said to Wanda, “I have something to tell you and it is probably going to shock you.”

I said, “Kristy thought you were the one God has for me. That is what she told my sister Norma.”

The phone line turns to silence.

Cold.

No I didn’t hear at click sound, but I wasn’t sure anyone was still there.

Moments seems like hours or longer. Oh no, I thought. I have made a terrible mistake. I did feel like I was supposed to tell her that. Why I don’t know. We had only been talking a couple of weeks or so. We had not seen each other and had no plans to see each other. But now it was too late to pull those words back into my mouth. They had been said.

“Kristy said you were the one God has for me.”

Finally I said, “Hello, hello. Are you still there?”

There was no answer. No response.

Now there was more concern.

Fear?

Concern?

Mistake?

Is she gone?

Did I scare her away?

Why did I have to say that now? What is she thinking? Will this end it?

I thought in split second timing that surely she will remember that I am not a crackpot or spiritual screwball. Surely she want withdraw over this?

But there was still no answer. I didn’t hear a breathe. A word.

What is happening on the other end of the phone line?

Is she gone?

“Wanda? Are you there?”

No answer.

"Wanda?"

“Are you OK?”

With a soft answer I heard her say, “I am processing.”

Nothing more was said,

"What?"

“I am processing.”

I quickly sputtered something like, “I am not saying Kristy was right. I am not saying that I believe this.”

More words sputtered out of my mouth.

Wanda was processing.

She didn’t overreact. She didn’t giggle. She didn’t say, “Wonderful.”

She didn’t say, “Go jump in the lake. You are a goofball.”

She processed. She waited. She didn’t talk or do anything. It was quite on the other end of the line.

The other end of the line stayed quite for several days. That phone conversation ended somehow. I am not sure how it ended, but it ended.

And she didn’t talk to me for several days.

Thank God I didn’t tell her about the voice that came in the night or what Jennifer had said. That would have been a lot of processing.

I hadn’t told anyone about that voice. I certainly couldn’t tell her about that--at least not now.

MY FIRST SNAIL MAIL LETTER

2009-01-02T07:00:00.017-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

That first phone conversation with Wanda was very awkward and didn’t last long at least as long as phone calls that came later. I will admit I didn’t feel very comfortable talking to you her. I wasn’t really sure why I called her then except I couldn’t get her out of my mind and I had to make sure she was OK. I know that doesn’t sound right in light of all that had happened to me with that voice, and Jennifer’s blurting out about Wanda, and Norma’s brief slip telling me about Kristy’s wishes. But that is what happened and how I felt.

The conversation lasted forty-five minutes or so and centered around my loss of Kristy and some talk about our children. Finally I thanked her for listening to me and for her prayers. I think I ended by saying that maybe we could talk again sometime and finally said good bye or something like that, and our first phone conversation ended.

Several days pasted and I decided to write Wanda a letter. I didn’t have an email address or I would have emailed her, but I looked up her house address and wrote her a letter. It was an awkward letter kind of like the first phone conversation we had. I typed it rather than write it long hand for the reason listed in the letter.

Here is my first letter to her:

Dear Wanda:

Thank you for taking time to talk to me Saturday night. It was obvious that you truly understand how I feel and the hurt that I am dealing with in losing Kristy. I felt awkward in calling you though I don’t know exactly why. As I shared, you had been on my mind for several days and it seemed that I was just supposed to call you. I wondered if the Lord had put you on my heart to help you in some way, but your understanding heart helped me.

I have a long way to go to fully deal with Kristy’s death. You knew her and she thought so very much of you. Kristy and I both were hurt and shocked at Jim’s passing and I will never forget getting the news from my secretary by phone while we were driving away from St. Pete beach returning home from a few days vacation. I had to pull the car over to the side of the road because I was so shaken by the news of Jim’s death.

It amazed me and helped me to hear your insight in the recovering process from losing a spouse. I never thought I would face such a time ever in my life in that Kristy’s a family all lived so long. I just figured she would survive me by fifteen years or more. It is funny how life’s journey can have such unexpected turns.

Sunday the Lord helped me preach and minister to my church. They have all been so kind to me and help me. I have been very blessed to have had the privilege to work with some very wonderful people and know that somehow by His grace that I have more to offer and do for God. The Scripture I chose to preach was taken from II Corinthians 4. You probably don’t remember this, but one day you put those verses on my desk when I was the pastor in Bartow. That is very encouraging portion of Scripture. I preached on the topic, “Don’t Lose Heart.”

Amazingly I am excited about some of the wonderful things God has put in my heart to do. I plan on writing more and traveling and speaking in churches for men and women’s groups. I am going to take a motorcycle course since so many of my friends have them. They have all been after me for some time to get one so I thought I would see if I could pass a motorcycle course. Then, if I feel like I won’t bust my hide, I will see about buying one. Don’t tell my parents about this as they would not like their son getting a motorcycle.

Kristy and I actually went on a three day get a way to Amelia Island a couple years back and stayed at a B&B where they had mopeds, which is a small scooter. She squealed and begged me to slow down, but I told her that if I went any slower we would fall over. She enjoyed it once she got use to riding with me and then wanted to do it more.

I am typing this because my hand writing still stinks. I try to write only my signature as I hate my penmanship so bad. It just doesn’t get better. When I was in Bartow, I found out that Delores Culverhouse would get Cindy to come to the church and try to figure out what I had written for the church bulletin. That’s when I got a dictaphone to use. She was so meek that she would not tell me she couldn’t read what I was scribbling. You probably remember how bad my handwriting was, though I don’t recall you’re ever saying anything about it.

I am going to be very busy these next weeks with all kinds of projects we are doing in the church. Because of Kristy’s illness and death, I have not been close on hand with so many of the church ministries. They all need attention. We are finishing a total remodeling of our church facilities and are on the home stretch to get it done. I have good help, but there is so much that needs attention and oversight.

Well, I bet you were surprised to get this rambling letter. I just felt a need to write and share from my heart more clearly what was going on in me.

Thanks for listening. My email address is -------------. Please email me so I can have your email address on my file. I have a long way to go to get through this and would appreciate your prayers for me and my girls.

Gratefully,

Milton Dykes

***

Well, that doesn’t sound so romantic does it?

And how about the ending? “Gratefully? What was that?

I spent a few moments trying to determine how to end that letter. Sincerely? With Prayers? Hurting? Scared? Respectfully? Your Former Boss? or Your Former Pastor? Or love? No, I am kidding about several of those possible conclusions, but I could not write the word love. I loved her as I would any parishioner or person but I didn’t love her in the manner I would in a matter of a few weeks.

And what about asking for an email address to put in "my file?"

Does that sound like business or bashfulness?

It was an awkward letter from a hurting guy who God had spoken some very clear words but wasn’t sure what to do about it. I actually wrote the letter and kept it several days before I mailed it. I am not real sure why I did that either, but that is what happened.

She received the letter and sent a text back to me as my cell phone number was on the letter. She wished me a happy birthday as she knew my birthday because I had been her pastor and boss and the church had celebrated my birthday many times while I was her pastor.

But she didn’t send me her email address. I was waiting but she didn’t send it.

HOW DID WE FALL IN LOVE?

2009-01-01T07:00:00.012-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

How do you fall in love with someone over the phone?

That is how it happened. We fell in love on the phone.

I had known Wanda Dunsford for almost thirty years. I led her and her husband to the Lord and baptized them in water. As their pastor, I mentored them and disci-pled and trained them. They became great church leaders while I served as their pastor. My children played with their children.

When we needed a new church secretary, I finally talked Wanda into leaving a great job as a legal secretary and she took a pay cute to work for the church. She worked for me for almost 7 years and then now another 20 years for three other pastors.

All through the years even after I left the church where I had led them to the Lord we had kept in touch. I saw them at church meetings and would be a guest minister at the Bartow Assembly from time to time as those years.

Wanda and Jim had a great marriage and so did Kristy and me. We were friends and enjoying many church life while I was their pastor. They were good, godly people with a high passion to honor God with their lives. My work relationship with Wanda was professional and godly with no attraction. There was no reason as I was totally in love with Kristy and Wanda and Jim were totally in love too.

Before Kristy passed, she told my sister and my daughter Julie that Wanda was the one God had for me. Kristy didn’t tell me, but 10 days after her funeral I was awakened in the night by a surprising, yet comforting voice that came from the corner of the bedroom that said that Wanda was the one God had for me. I was told that she would bless me and my children, and that I would bless her and her children. Then, almost two months later while visiting my other daughter Jennifer, she blurts out that she knew who God had for me and told me that Wanda was the one God had for me.

So, how did we connect? What brought us together? How did we fall in love? Did God speak anything like I have just described to her or any of her family? Why would she ever believe such a story? Should I ever tell her about these events? Should I believe these events were real or had any real value to me? What should I do about any of this?

There are even more questions than those in the previous paragraph. Should I try to make all the prophetic words turn into reality? Does God even work in such a fashion? Was this just a emotional fixation that all of us had?

Well, I can tell you right off that I wouldn’t try to fulfill Kristy’s wish just to do what she might have wanted. The obvious is that Wanda had and has a will and say in all this. She couldn’t and wouldn’t fall into a prophetic, emotional dream by anyone and neither would I. She is a woman in her own right with a great life and she wasn’t looking for all this to happen.

The relationship we had as two couples was godly and good. Wanda was and is a professional and our relationship was in a professional and godly way when she worked for me. She and Kristy were good friends and Jim and I were good friends. That was how it was and continued all of these years. I had and have the highest respect for her family and their christian walk and witness.

So what happened? How did all this come about? How did we fall in love? How did this happen so quickly?

I am trying my best to tell this story in the clearest and most honest and transparent manner that I can. I don’t have to write this, but I feel in another way compelled to write our love story. I do not think that I can conclude my writing on this blog until I share this story. I believe that there are those whom God will use this story to encourage and bless and build their faith so I am trying to write to honor His call on my life.

***

After leaving Jennifer in Puerto Rico when she told me that Wanda was the one God had for me, then something happened in me. I do not believe that I would have ever contacted Wanda without something happening in me to “push” me into some action or consideration of pursuing her, but when Jennifer spoke to me about Wanda there was an unexpected confirmation in my spirit about God had told me earlier about Wanda. I could not or would not have contacted Wanda without Jennifer blurting out what she did.

Jennifer’s words triggered something in me. I couldn’t get Wanda off my mind. Yes, I had known her for almost thirty years, but it had been years since I had any conversation of any consequence with her. I obviously spoke with her when Kristy and I went to see her at Jim’s death. I helped preach Jim’s funeral and I talked with her then.

Wanda did come to Kristy’s funeral and she spoke to me briefly to me She gave me a verse of Scripture that had been a comfort to her after Jim’s death. She told me that God kept speaking to her to be still and know that I am God. She said she was so sorry and that she had been praying for the girls and me and had prayed for Kristy. She told me she daily had read Kristy’s blog and followed her story.

Other than a couple of speaking engagements where Kristy spoke to ladies groups in Central Florida and I had driven her to them and Wanda attended with other ladies from her church, what I have just written is fairly close to the sum total of our contacts and conversation.

But when I left Jennifer’s house, things changed. I couldn’t get Wanda out of my mind. I wasn’t thinking so much at all about the voice that spoke to me in the night or what Jennifer had said to me. My thoughts just kept turning to Wanda. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I began to wonder if something was wrong with her? I felt I needed to talk to her, but what could I say to her? Would she even talk to me? I was single. She was single. Talking to her would be awkward at best since we were both single now. It was too soon to talk to her anyhow. Would would people think? What would be talk about? Would she even talk to me?

Finally I called my sis Norma, and told her what was going on in my mind. I told Norma that there was this woman who kept coming to my mind and that for days I couldn’t keep her off my mind. I told Norma that I didn’t know why this was happening or and that I didn’t know what to do about it. I certainly didn’t tell her about the voice that came to me in the night or even what Jennifer had told me in my recent visit with her.

Norma told me about a family member of Ron’s who lost his spouse and that after a brief period of time that he began to see someone. Seeing Wanda wasn’t what was on my mind at that point. I just didn’t know what to do about her being constantly in my mind.

Finally Norma asked me who this lady was and I told her that it was Wanda Dunsford? Who is Wanda Dunsford, Norma asked?

She is a lady that I led to the Lord years ago in Bartow when we pastored there. I led Wanda and her husband Jim to the Lord and later she worked for me as the church secretary.

“Oh,” Norma responded. “She is the lady that Kristy said.....” and then Norma stopped and said, “I want go there right now.”

Norma kind of changed her train of talk and said that there was nothing wrong with me contacting Wanda and talking to her. Maybe she can help you, she said. Maybe after you talk with her that you’ll know why you should call her. Norma assured me that there wasn’t anything wrong or out of the way about me calling Wanda.

Well, that made me feel better so I called and called and called and couldn’t reach her. I found out later that she was on a ladies retreat. For some crazy reason, I didn’t leave a message for her to get and return my call. So there were a number of calls that showed up on her phone from me.

Finally, later on the next day often my phone conversation with Norma and my numerous calls to Wanda, she actually called me back. I think she was concerned about me in that I had called several times without leaving a message.

I don’t know why I didn’t leave a message. I just didn’t. I was nervous? Scared? Unsure? I don’t know why I didn’t leave a message, but I just didn’t.

When Wanda called back she asked, “Are you OK?”

I told her that she had been on my mind for several days and I couldn’t get her off my mind and that I wondered if everything was OK with her?

She said, “I’m OK, but how are you doing?”

“I’m hurting. This has been a very tough time. God is helping me , but this is very hard.”

“I know,” she said. “Losing Jim was terrible. I know what you’re facing. God will help you and you will make it, but it isn’t easy.

She asked about the girls. Wanda had known them since they were little, and she had kept them in her home. Her children had played with mine. They loved each other though it had been years since they had any contact.

***

I will write more each day and tell how we came to a point of loving each other just by phone conversations. Obviously, love grows in many ways, but this is how it started for us.

Comments are being filtered and will be posted several times each day. I hope that you will continue to comment expressing your thoughts.

I am not offended or taken back by questions of how this happened so quickly or even questions of the validity of some of the affirmations of God's will in this matter. I feel that it is right and Biblically proper to weigh and even judge what had been spoken by others and even what I feel God spoke to me just ten days after Kristy's funeral. I have questioned each of these events and have asked those who are my accountability partners.

Wanda and I are not engaged and will go through pre-engagement counseling as well as I am getting grief counseling. I am very thankful that God has sent Wanda to me at this time. She has shown huge maturity as I write this story. She is one very unusual, special lady. That is what all of my family thinks. That is what I think. That is what God thinks.

WHAT FAMILY THINKS REALLY MATTERS

2008-12-31T07:00:00.008-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Here are family posts that I would like for you to read before I write further about my new love. They have each expressed, along with other family members, their confidence and love for me and this new relationship. I know that some have wondered how this came about so quickly and I have given the best answer I know. God did it and He did it in His time and His way.

Please read these comments from my daughter Jennifer, Kristy's sister Rebecca, and her brother Terry. I think their comments speak to many of the issues and questions some might still have.

***

My daughter Jennifer wrote:

Jennifer said...
Dad, I believe you are doing the right thing sharing this story. It's too wonderful not to. I believe the love developing between you and Wanda is God given.The fact some can't understand that is the exact reason it needs to be told! Without Christ love is distorted, people need to know of the amazing, unique love God offers!

***

Rebecca (Kristy's sister)I read yesterday's blog early in the morning; I just now read the comments from yesterday.

Milton,

Don and I attended Bartow First Assembly when you pastored there. I know Wanda (and Jim) and their children very, very well. Don and I still attend Bartow 1st and so does Wanda. I see her all of the time. I can attest to the fact that there was no "attraction" of that sort; only a desire on your part and Kristy's to mentor Wanda and Jim in their walk with the Lord.And it paid off. They serve(d) the Lord faithfully; they became very involved in the affairs of the church and especially missions.

Their children are grown, married, have children, and best of all love the Lord with all of their hearts and are faithful and committed to their churches.Julie and Jennifer played with Wanda's children while y'all were at Bartow 1st.

We all fellowshipped together. And after you and Kristy left our church, Don and I continued to fellowship with Jim and Wanda.If anyone went into our church right now and asked anyone there what they thought of Wanda, every response would be positive - seriously, there would not be one unkind or negative comment about Wanda.

Just yesterday, our pastor gave an opportunity for people with needs to go and pray. I saw Wanda go down and pray with another couple. She loves God; she does not just sit back; she has a heart for the things of God.I know that you loved Kristy; there is no doubt about how strong and pure your love for each other was.

Kristy knew you were a young man; she did not want you to live alone. Truthfully, I'm glad that the Lord led you to Wanda (and her to you). We have all known her, her character, her family.

I pray God's blessings on you and Wanda and your children and grandchildren.

You are my "brother"; Wanda will be my sister-in-law.

***

Terry Roberts (Kristy's brother) said...

Milton,

I knew you before Kristy did. As one of your college buddies, I was impressed with your devotion to God, yet you were also "real" -- and a lot of fun.

I was glad when you asked my sister for a date and thrilled when you asked her to marry you. I was glad that you would be not only my friend, but family. Over the years I've observed you in all kinds of circumstances -- highs and lows, victories and disappointments. I've always been impressed with the wise and measured way you've handled whatever life served up -- always determined to trust God, no matter what.

You have distinguished yourself among your peers as a solid and gifted man of God. I'm glad you're still "real"-- and still a lot of fun. You're still my friend and you will always be part of my family.

I haven't had the privilege of knowing Wanda as well as others in our family have known her, but from everything I hear from them, I am impressed. I truly rejoice that God has graciously brought someone into your life whose solid reputation as a godly woman is known far and wide.

I don't mean to presume, but if you and Wanda decide to marry, I will welcome her into our family, too.Your brother, Terry

***

Thank you for taking the time to read what these family members have written. Other family members have written of the own initiative and desire without my asking any of them to write. They have all shared their respect for me and trust in my walk and service to God. That really matters to me.

I have written today's post so hopefully most of you will see my sincere and true honest walk to honor Christ and do His will. Serving Him and following His leading is the most important thing and love of my life. That is all I am trying to do now. I am not perfect and have a long way to go, but I am striving to please Him each day of my life.

To continue to write this blog is a labor of love and service to the Lord. I don't have to do this except I honestly feel that it has and will be an encouragement to others and to obey what God has put in my heart to do. It might be easier to let this story unfold without ever being written on the pages of this blog--especially with some comments that have been written without any factual or christian fairness on the commentors part. However, I feel this story should be told so by the help of the Lord I will write it.

I will not write any further to explain or defend what I am doing. My family supports this and that is what really matters. I do fully understand anyone having honest questions as to how this could happen so quickly. I have asked that question too. It is a fair question.

The short answer is that God has brought this about in His time and in His way with the full and complete blessing of my children, Wanda's children, our parents, siblings, and accountability partners. I will follow Him and the godly counsel He has given me.

Tomorrow I will begin telling the story of my new love. You will wipe a tear, smile, and know there is a God who love us and cares about us and is faithful in all His ways.

WHO IS MILTON DYKES? PART II

2008-12-30T07:00:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Figuring out who you are at this stage of life isn't the easiest thing in the world. Can you believe that I left "Twinkies" off the what I love list? Actually I have found deliverance from them as I have had so much other holiday sweets that have filled the void. I don't guess that really counts as deliverance if you have gone on to hard stuff. Anyhow, I am not eating Twinkies so I left them of the love list.

I also left off tennis, Scrabble, domino's, and a myriad of other things that I will not go to right now. It is an interesting proposition to review who you are at this stage of life though all of us should keep learning, growing, and reevaluating who we are and refocusing on the goals and dreams of our lives.

That is part of this exercise. What are my goals and dreams at this stage? What do I want to accomplish? Where am I headed?

Your comments have been very kind as a number have written who and what you see when you look at Milton Dykes. I wondered after I posted that question if I really should have done that in light of some of the comments in the last week or so, but you have been very kind. In fact your words have been so kind that I think I have got to take it up a bunch of notches just to get close to what you have written about me.

I am regathering myself after the holidays and focusing on 2009. Julie and Jennifer told me that their Mom wrote on this blog after her recovery from brain surgery that she was happy as a lark. They said that if Mom felt happy as a lark while knowing she was dying then we can be happy while we are living.

That is a great revelation. As a family, that is what we choose to do. We are going to live and be happy as a lark. That is what Kristy wanted for all of us.

Why not!

***

Dear Lord:

I pray for Anonymous 8:10 PM yesterday who is battling in a life and death struggle with cancer. I pray for faith, courage, joy, and peace. I pray for healing and strength. I pray for her family and especially her husband. Give them good days of love and laughter. Give her long life. Give her assurance you are with her. You are the mighty, faithful healer.

Amen

WHO IS MILTON DYKES?

2008-12-29T07:00:00.013-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Singleness after 37 years of marriage brings one back to full circle. I am no longer two, but one. For 37 years I was joined in heart, spirit, faith, and flesh to a godly woman who partnered with me in life and ministry.

Now through death, two has become one again.

So who is the one now left here?

Who is Milton Dykes?

Before 7/21/08 I was a composite with a pretty redhead who made the picture more beautiful. We were truly one but that has all changed and I am wondering again just who is Milton Dykes?

I have not changed in purpose and life calling. I still feel called to preach and to pastor. I still have a great burden to see the lost saved and brought into the Kingdom. I want to see families grow in faith. I still want to make my life count by using my best energies, passion, creativity, sacrifice and commitment for Christ. I was called to preach before I met Kristy and that hasn't changed. My passion to preach has grown more intense and forceful.

My parents would say I was a good boy and teenager growing up and they are still alive and very connected to my life. I think they would say I am a good son and they are very proud of me. My daughters love me and have expressed their confidence and respect for me. I have many wonderful friends all over the world that I cherish and have who shown unusual kindness to me.

Who is Milton Dykes and what do I love?

I love God, my Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, my daughters, my grandchildren, my parents, my family, friends, Church, unsaved people, Country, apple pie, football, Alabama football, Jaguar football, church work, momma's fried chicken and pound cake, walking, bike riding, jogging, all sports, all food, mediam rare steaks, peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter, Sunday afternoon naps and football, travel, history, American history, church history, sports history, world history, writing, finishing writing, neatness, cleanliness, nice smelling perfume and cologne, HD TV, Southern Gospel music, contemporary christian music, classical music, big band music, country music, blue grass music, any kind of good music one can understand, preacher jokes, church jokes, lawyer jokes, funny real life stories, laughter, smiles, funny and clean pranks, family gatherings, family dinners, good friends, being with my closest friends, good movies, old movies, funny movies, clean movies, heart warming movies, clean Seinfeld programs, Bob Newhart shows, Andy Griffith Shows, and lots more.

I like to read the Bible, pray, prepare sermons, teach, mentor, learn, grow, strive for excellence, help others, live by the Golden Rule, help make life easier, get task completed, set goals, dream, brain storm, learn new and more efficient ways to accomplish tasks.

What do I dislike or hate?

I dislike fat on my body, sleeplessness, cooking, cleaning, gossip, cruel acts, ugly looks, spankings, rude people, Alabama Football losses, Jaguar loses, things that need repairing, computers that act cranky, poor losers, overly proud winners, sin, the results of sin, high mindedness, abortion, immorality, divorce, crime, stealing. lying, unfair taxation, communism, socialism, lying political parties, unrighteousness, unjust laws, close mindedness and unwilling to follow God in positive change, dirty cars, dirty house, dirty clothes, dirt, germs, cold, sickness, cancer, all health infirmities, faithlessness, disobedience to God, disrespect for things of God, godless laws, bad smell, stink in any form, bad jokes, and anything that opposes God, disloyalty, and unfairness in any form.

***

Oh, I will write about Wanda again in a few days. So more is coming about my new love. This is a godly new love that will amaze you and even those who are unsure about timing, how, and why. It is a pure love story that began with a voice from heaven. That is how it began for me. I will tell you more soon.

***

If you have something constructive and helpful to write, then I ask you, "Who and what do you see when you see Milton Dykes?"