Snark Patrol

Nanotubes on the loose!

2009-11-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

A workable display using carbon nanotube transistor arrays. (via the Blogfather) Your Humble Snarkatron once attempted to build a prototype nanotube display years ago, when nanotubes were still the wild frontier. It even worked, for a few seconds. It is nice to see some commercial applications finally coming forward. Nanotubes are very cool.

News Flash from the White House: Too much debt is bad, mkay?

2009-11-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

No, really, the President is issuing a Stern Warning™ that if we don't get this pesky deficit under control, the recession could just auger in. It's like he finally started reading the reports the CBO has been sending him. Not only do we not have any more money, we don't have any checks left either. Something has to give.

So why, Dear Leader, are you forcing so much debt on us? You do remember you aren't a Senator any more, right? You have a veto. You don't HAVE to allow this flabbergasting debt increase on your watch. And really, your warning is unnecessary since we (meaning people who know how to balance their checkbooks) have been trying to tell YOU this for months now.

Sunday Funnies

2009-11-15T05:21:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary The Credomar infosphere has some holes.
-TwoLumps Know the symptoms of flue.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius The Castle does not approve of Agatha's shortcut.
-No Need For BushidoGeneral Astsumori isn't dumb. (back to biweekly updates, sigh ...)
-Digger The troll chieftainess has a message for Digger.

UPDATE AND ALERT! Somnolent, much prodded artist produces amazing fantasy-based comic (with snark sauce ...)

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave
~~-Arrgghonauts Filing missing comic report ...~~

Veteran's Day

2009-11-11T09:56:00.000-08:00

via Ace of Spades and Uncle Jimbo, I think I'll let the dogs speak for me. These guys *have* to be wonderful. A dog can't lie.

Thank you.

Senile Dodderer outwits Obama Administration

2009-11-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

He used facts, the clever fellow! Former IG Walpin cleared of wrongdoing. And he's filed suit in DC for wrongful dismissal.

Oh look, a flock of eumenides on the wing! What a glorious sight ...

Issues with Islam

2009-11-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

As the mordant joke goes, the media warns against a backlash against Muslims and everyone says, "how many did they kill this time?" Just like those safety lectures on airplanes--most people can recite them verbatim (just FYI, the flight attendants hate that when you do, never mind how I know). Most-Muslims-Are-Peaceful. Put-Metal-Tab-Into-Buckle. Don't-Jump-To-Conclusions. The-Nearest-Exit-May-Be-Behind-You. Islam-Isn't-The-Problem. Everyone-Get-Out-And-Push-For-Takeoff. Yeah, I hear that most terrorist attempts were stopped by fellow Muslims dropping a dime. So, why aren't the Methodists having this problem? How many Amish bombings have been stopped by a quiet word to the FBI from a man in a beard and a hat?

This is important. We don't have a backlash against Muslims -- yet. We didn't have one after 9/11 and I know this because I worked with three devout Muslims on that very day. Believe me, I would have known if anyone was harassing them. But as long as the media, the administration, and good jeebus the MILITARY COMMANDERS keep saying things everyone knows aren't true about the Ft. Hood murderer, people ARE going to go overboard and say incendiary things about deporting all Muslims and worse. They are doing this from a sense of fright and frustration to force the people in charge to acknowledge reality.

If you do not like this rhetoric, tell the truth. The whole truth.

Snarkatron's personal observations: The Muslims I am acquainted with are polite, quiet, and non-confrontational. They do not get their knickers in a twist because women are allowed to sit next to them on a bus, or touch things on their desks, or talk to them. They follow the laws of this country, and show consideration - not deference- to others around them and expect the same in return. I believe they want to live peacefully with their neighbors, regardless of religious belief.

It only takes one rabid rat to cause a problem, however, and because the vast majority of Muslims seem non-confrontational that one rat has a disproportionate impact. The cultural and religious custom of sticking up for a fellow Muslim is doing the good guys terrible harm. It isn't fair, but they are going to have to find a way to say "That boy ain't right", LOUDLY, if they want to live in peace with the rest of us.

Islam is not the cause of the pathological behavior of these murderous nutbars. It does, however, act as an accelerant to any anti-social tendencies and neuroses Muslim adherants might have. Islam does not encourage believers to correct violent behavior against non-believers. There needs to be a way for mentally damaged individuals to be caught *before* they harm anyone, and their co-religionists would be the ideal first line of defense.

Other rants on the web:

Blackfive: Really General Casey?
Ace of Spades: CNN struggles more but the damn facts keep coming out
Dorothy Rabinowitz: Dr. Phil and the Ft. Hood Killer

Pelosi infests Seattle

2009-11-09T17:56:00.001-08:00

Strangely, nobody notified the press until *after* she was all done having a press conference at a local hospital. However, the local Tea Party protesting network was on the job. With less than five (5) hours notice, we were able to produce over 40 protesters. And we even got photographers and press types! Dunno if any of it will be shown on the networks, since we were all reasonable and polite. My hastily scribbled sign referenced death panels, and one bemused photographer asked if I *really* worried about Death Panels??? I said yes, and explained why. So, if I don't post after this you will know I snagged one of the good bunks at the re-education camp.

Sunday Funnies

2009-11-08T05:29:00.000-08:00

-Lackadaisy THREE new pages! Poor Wick has a hard life.
-Schlock Mercenary King Lota was not deleted. Remember to back up your files, folks.
-TwoLumps Snooch writes a novel.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius Ooops. Somebody has the polychromatic flu.
-No Need For Bushido Ina is surprisingly calm, considering the impending disaster.
-Digger Grim Eyes and Digger have different taste in males.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave
-Arrgghonauts Filing missing comic report ...

My Tax Dollars At Work

2009-11-03T12:36:00.000-08:00

via Ace, a wonderful list of what your stimulus dollars hath wrought. Some of my favorites:

$300,000 for a GPS-equipped helicopter to hunt for radioactive rabbit droppings at the Hanford nuclear reservation in Washington state.

I used to live around there. It is bare and flat. No trees. A $200 GPS handheld and some minimum-wage teenagers with Geiger counters would do the trick, and how often do you need to do a lagomorph-generated alpha particle count? (To be fair, if these are *giant* radioactive rabbits the helicopter might be prudent.)

$11 million for Microsoft to build a bridge connecting its two headquarter campuses in Redmond, Wash., which are separated by a highway.

Because Microsoft is famous for not having any money.

$219,000 for Syracuse University to study the sex lives of freshmen women.

They have sex lives, you don't. Gimmee the money.

$6 million for a snow-making facility in Duluth, Minn.

You have GOT to be kidding me. Is this for all the poor urban kids of Duluth who would otherwise never experience the joy of throwing a snowball?

$380,000 to spay and neuter pets in Wichita, Kan.

Why don't they just spay and neuter the students at Syracuse University?

$462,000 to purchase 22 concrete toilets for use in the Mark Twain National Forest in Missouri

Oh how I wish Mark Twain hisself could comment on this chuckleheaded notion. He'd probably offer to dig the latrines for half the price. Complete with whitewashed "privacy fence".

Proxmire's Golden Fleece awards ride again ...

Sunday Funnies

2009-11-01T05:07:00.000-08:00

-Schlock Mercenary An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks EVERYBODY.
-TwoLumps The limits of learning by osmosis.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius Agatha has a kick-ass basement.
-No Need For Bushido Okay, so arrows won't work this time.
-Digger Digger had a bit of a con-related hiatus, should be back Tuesday.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy And they *promised* new pages in October!
-Dresden Codak
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave
-Arrgghonauts Must be cheesy bean burrito night at the DFAC....

I'm not dead

2009-10-30T07:57:00.000-07:00

Just really, really busy. I still have snark that needs outing, never fear.

On a more important topic, it's Valor-IT time! And in memory of Dear Old Dad, and because I root for the underdog, I am backing the Air Force team. I expect all loyal members of the SnarkaTribe to at least *consider* donating. It's easy! It builds massive amounts of karma points! It involves computers that understand voice commands just like in Star Trek! (Sexy female response voice not included).

Seriously, hospitals are no fun-- a constant round of pain and boredom. When you have suddenly gone from being active, physical, and in command to not even being able to send an email on your own, it's even worse. Give these guys and gals the means to connect back to their buddies, their lives, their families while they heal up.

Sunday Funnies

2009-10-25T05:12:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary The hazards of cute reporters.
-TwoLumps The evil kittens have been recalled.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius Descent to the basement of the Castle! What could possibly go wrong?
-No Need For Bushido The weekly updates continue! Atsumori has a plan, we think.
-Digger Something is making Digger and friends hurry back, and they don't know what.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave
-Arrgghonauts Number 10 is a myth.

Sunday Funnies

2009-10-11T05:18:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Remedial explosives.
-TwoLumps Smartass kittens.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius The little clank leaders can't decide who is boss.
-No Need For Bushido Weekly updates! Oh, and farmers rock. Just wanted to mention that.
-Digger The adventurers emerge into sunlight.

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-Dresden Codak
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave
-Arrgghonauts Number 10, where are yoooou? ...

This is What A Real Nobel looks like

2009-10-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

The Nobel Physics award this year is for fiberoptics and CCD detectors, otherwise known as the guts of digital cameras. I worked with CCD detectors more directly when I did my research with photoelectron spectroscopy. They are extremely clever little gizmos and they make possible photos that range from the sublime (Hubble space telescope) to the ridiculous (countless drunken cell phone pictures) to the heartbreaking(pictures of Buddhist monks killed by the regime in Burma, basiji thugs beating peaceful protesters in Iran). Real science that has affected the lives of millions for the better (yes, getting the word out about horrific abuse is better than letting violent regimes keep it a secret.) The Nobel Science prizes are truly an honor and reflect the best humanity can offer.

And then we have the Nobel Peace Prize. Awarded to a weapons-grade narcissist who had been in office a mere three weeks when the committee made its decision, and who now joins the likes of Yasser Arafat, Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and Kofi Annan, who also received this ... accolade. (You know, it *does* seem appropriate now that I think about it. A terrorist, a wimp, a blowhard, and a corruptocrat...)

African Teen helps himself, UN feels useless

2009-10-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

(via the Blogfather)
Young William Kamkwamba just wanted to read after it got dark. Problem being, he lived in one of the poorest areas of the poor country of Malawi, and he had no electricity. Fortunately for him, he *did* have access to a small library, and that small library had two very interesting books: Explaining Physics and Using Energy. Now his village has electric lights, a well with a pump for irrigation, power to charge cellphones with, and also radios and a TV. All because one kid knew how to read, had access to books with information, and knew how to scrounge junkyards. He built three useful windmills, all because he wanted to stay up late reading.

Outstanding job, Mr. Kamkwamba. I wish you all success in your dream of attending college in the USA. May I recommend MIT? I think it would be a good fit for your inventiveness.

Note: absolutely no sanctimonious, patronizing Lady Bountiful UN bozos were involved in this happy scenario.

igNobels 2009

2009-10-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

For research that cannot or should not be reproduced:

the 2009 winners!

Featuring a gas-mask bra, the biological richness of panda poop, and anonymity as a factor in milk production for cows.

Sunday Funnies

2009-10-04T05:35:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Do not ask crazy people for moral judgments.
-TwoLumps The trouble with RPGs. The games, not the explosives.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius Agatha's little clanks have found their mistress.
-No Need For Bushido I hear rumors we might be going back to weekly updates. Stay tuned ...
-Digger Stairs. Lots of stairs.
-Lackadaisy A art preview update, and strong hints of multiple pages forthcoming.
-Dresden Codak Caveman Science Fiction.

Not Updated, fie!

-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave
-Arrgghonauts Promises, promises ...

The Hockey-Stick Crumbles

2009-09-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. Looks like someone has been cooking the books with climate change data, and now we have proof. Cherry-picking data is a big scientific no-no. Maybe that's why they were so reluctant to release their data, since it could then be used to prove the complete opposite of what they were claiming. If you include all the data, instead of just the bits you like, there is no evidence of global warming. Ooops.

Steve McIntyre of Climate Audit was tireless for TEN YEARS trying to get this data. He may possibly be an honorary Mountie, for he never gave up and he got his Mann. (oooo, science joke ...)

As CA readers also know, until recently, CRU staunchly refused to provide the measurement data used in Briffa’s Yamal reconstruction. Science(mag) acquiesced in this refusal in connection with Osborn and Briffa 2006. While the Yamal chronology was used in a Science article, it originated with Briffa 2000 and Science(mag) took the position that the previous journal (which had a different data policy) had jurisdiction. Briffa used the chronology Briffa et al (Phil Trans B, 2008) and the Phil Trans editors finally seized the nettle, requiring Briffa to archive the data. As noted before, Briffa asked for an extension and, when I checked earlier this year, the Yamal measurement data remained unarchived. A few days ago, I noticed that the Yamal data was finally placed online. With the information finally available, this analysis has only taken a few days.

(Translation: real scientists can't hide their data when they publish the results. Journal Philosophical Transactions B enforced this rule, and Mr. McIntyre went to town.) And looky what it shows (black line is all data, red is, um, "highly selective"). No Hockey Stick. Sorry Al, give back the Nobel.

William Safire: The Last Word

2009-09-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

William Safire, apparently the only intelligent writer at the New York Times, has died. I thought for sure he was older than time and immortal. He loved the English language and wrote "On Language", a column that would delve into some of the more peculiar usages or interesting origins of words and phrases. He was the first columnist I can remember "following", purely for that column. Bill Clinton wanted to punch him in the nose for describing Hillary as a "congenital liar". That's pretty much proof Safire was a good guy, right there.

The word of the day is "apotheosis".

apo·the·o·sis

Pronunciation: \ə-ˌpä-thē-ˈō-səs, ˌa-pə-ˈthē-ə-səs\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural apo·the·o·ses

Etymology: Late Latin, from Greek apotheōsis, from apotheoun to deify, from apo- + theos god

Date: circa 1580

1 : elevation to divine status : deification
2 : the perfect example : quintessence

Sunday Funnies

2009-09-27T04:42:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary It is very important to test emergency explosives.
-TwoLumps Snooch generates greenhouse gases.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius Time to fix the generator. In the basement. Where Von Pinn is probably lurking ...
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday! Plus, the Ken non-canon comic has been updated.
-Digger It would have been nice to know about the tunnel before falling into the cravasse...
-SHOCK! Antidiluvian comedian produces new Arrgggh!onauts comic! Faster than a speeding Cenozoic glacier, he is...

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-Lackadaisy
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave

AVAST! Ye Scurvy Dogs, the lot o' ye!

2009-09-19T06:23:00.000-07:00

It's Talk Like A Pirate Day! Further proof of the great superiority pirates have over ninjas, since you can't talk like a ninja, CAN YOU? You can't.

Ooo, and Cap'n Slappy and co. have a book out, too! And what's this Pirate News Network thingy?

UPDATE: Also! Man kan auf Deutsch Piratikal sprechen!

Sunday Funnies

2009-09-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Evil? Not Evil? Lota is the robot with the gun!
-TwoLumps Deep questions about water dishes.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius Are Gil's secrets about to be revealed? Or are the Foglios just being big teases again?
-No Need For Bushido New comic Monday, or I'll tell Ken they hid the sake.
-Digger Ghostly wombat relatives.
-Dresden Codak Big honking new comic, now with (cough)fanservice (cough).

Not Updated, fie!

-Lackadaisy
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave

I censure Joe Wilson

2009-09-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

He didn't go far enough.

He should have done something like this:

I got yer Day of Service right here, pal

2009-09-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

Do they really think they can paper over the memory of 9/11 with this nonsense? Cover over blood and fire and death by cleaning up a park or serving soup to the homeless? I have great faith in New Yorkers, who can carry a grudge to the moon and back. Who probably still have particles of their carbonized friends in their lungs. They won't forget what this day really is.

And why couldn't the "service" be appropriate to the day? Why not make this a day to go to fire and police departments and volunteer, or even bring them cookies and thank-you cards? Why not set aside the day to learn first aid? Learn hand-to-hand fighting techniques? Something USEFUL?

I, Snarkatron, hereby declare this day, in addition to 9/11 Remembrance Day, to be "I Am Not a Goddam Helpless Target Day". If you work in a tall office building, like I do, learn your surroundings.

- "The nearest exit may be behind you" is not just for airplanes. Do you know where *all* the stairwells are, and where they exit? How about the freight elevator?
- Do you know where the fire extinguishers are, and the first aid kit? Is that kit stocked, or have successive paper cut incidents emptied it?
- If you have to get out of Dodge, what are the best routes and where do you want to regroup? If there are crowds/falling debris/flame outside on the street, is there any way to get around this? (The building I work in has several clever tunnels that connect to neighboring buildings. Plus, the Seattle Metro has a handy, quite deep transit tunnel that can get a large number of people away from the city center.)
- Are there people in your office with mobility issues? Our fire and safety training covers how to carry such people down stairs in a chair, for example.
-If stairs are damaged, do you know where the strong points are? (Hint: Where the stairs connect to the wall is usually the strongest point.)
-If you are a Slave to Fashion and wear wobbly high heels, do you have some cheap fold-up slippers in a desk drawer you could wear just in case you have to run for your life at top speed?

It isn't comfortable to think about these things. Most people would rather not. But thinking about them NOW, when you aren't on fire, will make it easier when you have no choice but to think about them. Or die.

Sunday Funnies

2009-09-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

-Schlock Mercenary Meanwhile, back in orbit around Mars...
-TwoLumps Kitty dentures.
-xkcd
-Girl Genius What do you mean, you're out of lightning?
-No Need For Bushido Ina and Yori get interrupted. Blushes abound.
-Lackadaisy Even MORE pages!
-DiggerThe pet baby demon has moved away from home. Warriors don't know how to comfort sad wombats.

Not Updated, fie!

-Dresden Codak
-My Ninja Family
-Gone with the Blastwave