Automatic Vaudeville Studios

Coming Soon.

2008-10-13T10:48:00.002-04:00

That's Novel: A New Podcast from Automatic Vaudeville

2008-08-25T02:21:00.005-04:00

The first episode of a new series adapting the great works of literature.

Recorded live at The Olde Hotel in Montreal. With Seth Owen, Mark Slutsky, Lanan Adcock, Matt Silver and Juliet Lammers. Music by Nadia Moss. Written and hosted by Daniel Perlmutter.

“I had this idea to do radio adaptations of big, famous books. I decided to call the show That’s Novel. Like that’s a novel idea. I think it’s a pretty good name, I don’t know what everyone’s complaining about. Sometimes you try to do something special, something that’ll bring a little magic into people’s lives, and you don’t get the support from say, your girlfriend or your parents or business associates that, ah, that maybe you should be getting. But I don’t want to get into a whole big thing here…”

Here's a link to the iTunes podcast.

(this will launch iTunes)

And here's a link to the podcast online.

Enjoy!

Hello, world!

2008-08-15T12:01:00.003-04:00

Automatic Vaudeville Studios comin' atcha with a long-delayed update. Welcome old friends and new friends alike!

You may be here because you heard us on Square Quotes, Montreal's pre-eminent podcast, in which case, welcome. If not, we invite you to head over there and subscribe to their always witty and well-curated (heck, we're in it) exploration of modern culture and societal mores. Recommended! We're at the 42-minute mark or thereabouts. But we encourage you to listen to it all!

So what have we been up to? Well, we've definitely been underground for a while, but don't let that make you think we haven't got anything up our sleeves. In fact, our sleeves ARE bulging with exciting projects and soon-to-be-released news. Suffice to say we have been working on something much bigger than AVS has ever produced before and we are very excited about it.

Okay, what the hell, it's Peepers, our new feature-length comedy about Peeping Toms, and we're hoping to go into production really darn soon. More updates to come!

For now, why not take a little stroll around the site, or entertain yourselves at our YouTube Channel. See you soon!

New Beware of Dog Trailer!

2008-06-25T14:19:00.001-04:00

Merry F**king Christmas!

2007-12-03T14:47:00.000-05:00

This holiday season, AVS is delighted to give what is perhaps the greatest gift of all... no, it's not peace on earth, it's the long awaited internet release of the timeless holiday classic Merry F**king Christmas!

Almost universally derided and "pooh-poohed" upon its initial release several years ago, Merry F**king Christmas! has now earned a hallowed place in the pantheon, alongside such seasonal gems as Christmas with the Kranks and Deck the Halls.

This yuletide powerhouse follows the lovable Cooper clan as they learn the true meaning of Christmas... with an all-star cast including Matt Silver, Thea Metcalfe, "Li'l" Mark Slutsky, Count Dracula and introducing that "other" beloved feline... Gerfield!

Warm some egg nog and gather the whole family around the old 'puter, folks - a delightful new holiday tradition is born!

UPDATE: Gone until next year!

Autumnal Endeavours

2007-10-23T12:54:00.000-04:00

The fall has always been a season dear to our hearts here at Automatic Vaudeville Studios, a season that often finds us in a heightened state of filmic frenzy, preparing High Class Picture Shows and Halloween parties, prepping our latest masterworks, jumping into piles of leaves... And while, alas, our absence from the live arena continues indefinitely, and the annual halloween bash seems undone by the very in-construction state of our new studio at the Old Hotel, we are indeed hard at work on a number of smashing new entertainments....

Daniel Perlmutter's HD-riffic Beware of Dog (pictured above) is currently in post-production and eagerly anticipated; we are hard at work on our magnum opus Peepers; and general YouTubery abounds: Our Montreal Story (in parts One and Two) is currently on view... Seth Owen's 10 New Films for 10 Old Years has kicked off with the teen-angst mini-epic Get Off My Back!... and a newly rediscovered curio entitled The Amazing Party has just emerged from the Automatic Archive for all to see....

Enjoy!

Now Playing: Montreal Story

2007-09-11T11:35:00.000-04:00

Conceived in mere minutes.... shot in a single day... and now a cinematic classic for all time: it's Montreal Story* - a spirited homage to Ozu and The Out-of Towners, wherein a young American couple finds their summer vacation to la belle province commandeered by a gypsy-cab driver with a dubious agenda. Starring New York's premiere celeb couple - PBN's Stu Jenkins and Sharon "Nurse Mindy" Eisman - as well as a handful of AVS brass, Montreal Story is yours to enjoy in the comfort of your own home. Now playing on our You Tube Channel in two parts:

Part One is here.
Part Two is here.
And it's also showing in its entirety at our Facebook group, here.
A higher quality version will be available right here in the near future.

Enjoy!
Love, Automatic Vaudeville

*not to be confused with Vanya Rose's epic film series Montreal Stories. Vanya is a good friend of Automatic Vaudeville, and we direct you all to seek out her fine work, starting here.

Coming soon!

2007-07-20T00:40:00.000-04:00

A new comedy from Automatic Vaudeville Studios, starring Sharon Eisman, Stu Jenkins and Daniel Perlmutter.

The Power of Me Episode II, and Clarkshaw Galore!

2007-06-22T13:12:00.000-04:00

Dr. Kenneth Clarkshaw has an exciting new virtual home! To learn how to make the most of your summer and enjoy the "delicious" second episode of The Power of Me, pay a visit to ClarkshawOnline.com. It might be the most important mouse-click you'll ever make.

Get Caaned.

2007-06-22T12:43:00.000-04:00

Automatic Vaudeville's heartwarming (wrenching?) classic Young Cons is now officially You Tubable. Enjoy this hi-larious tale of con man brothers Mark and Daniel Caan, played by AVS moguls Mark Slutksy and Dan Perlmutter in their adorable infancy.

Part One is here.
Part Two is here.

Test

2007-06-08T17:27:00.000-04:00

Testing the new server...

The power of... The Power of Me!

2007-05-21T14:46:00.000-04:00

Automatic Vaudeville recently teamed with Toronto "super-producer" Geoffrey Siskind and the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation to produce two pilots for a potentially "huge" radio show. The Power of Me was intended to provide a wealth of insight and information about self-improvement in the modern age, and was inspired in large part by the psycho-sexuo-spiritual teachings of its host, Dr. Kenneth Clarkshaw. The CBC didn't go for it. Apparently they thought it "wouldn't play in Peoria*," so to speak. Available now for the first time are those two "lost pilots," which we will be releasing one at a time... Enjoy, and look forward to more exciting Power of Me projects in the future!

And now, an Important Message from Dr. Kenneth Clarkshaw:

Friends,

The Power of Me may have failed to spread its wings and soar through the miracle of radio waves and satellite rays, or what have you, but the potency -- and importance -- of its message is still very much "up in the air." Which is not to say "undecided" but rather "airborne," and very much alive.
The Power of Me may have proved too "controversial" for a mainstream institution like the CBC, but it's that very same controversial spirit that makes it absolutely necessary for you and yours to incorporate my Power of Me mental technologies into your life. Happily, the book that started it all -- The Power of Me -- is set to become available in North America in the near future, after years of problems with the publishing "establishment." This is all thanks, of course, to the miracle of the Interweb, and various foreign backers. The foreign backers have proved especially gracious, and have proven time and time again that "terrorist" really is just another label. Bottom line is they really seem to "get it." And now you'll get it, too: exactly what is coming to you... ENLIGHTENMENT.
Plus, a wonderful line of Power of Me products, including audio, video, kitchen ware and (fingers crossed) an exclusive selection of e-greeting cards.
Enjoy these never-before-heard episodes of what might be the most important radio broadcast you'll ever hear. Open your ears, your heart, and your mind. Also, maybe you want to take off your pants.

All my love,
Dr. Kenneth Clarkshaw

Click here to download the first Power of Me lost pilot episode.

* Regina, actually.

A New Way to Watch (Our) Movies

2007-01-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

If you're a longtime friend of Automatic Vaudeville Studios you may know The Recommendations, our short-feature comedy about jealousy and revenge in the literary milieu. We finished the film in 2005, showed it in a couple of festivals, got some favourable press attention (Jason Anderson of Toronto's EYE weekly gave it 3 and 1/2 stars) and put it on our second DVD, Your Hi-Class DVD Vol.2.

Now, we're still very proud of The Recommendations. But, frankly, the cost in money and manpower required to produce a large run of DVDs and distribute them in stores across the continent is a little beyond us, as we all have various commitments that demand our time, not to mention work on our new feature, Peepers, which you should hear more about soon.

So we had an idea. It seems that in recent years it's been increasingly common for people to download their favourite TV shows and movies via BitTorrent, instead of going the more traditional route of video rentals or cable TV. It's common enough that BitTorrent has become a pretty standard method of distribution for entertainment. In fact, everybody and their brother has been telling us that downloading is the next step in video distro; look at the new AppleTV, movies on iTunes, etc.

So we figured we'd get our foot in the door. BitTorrent may be most commonly associated with piracy, but we think it has lots of non-illegal uses as well, as it's a really efficient way of distributing big files. We think it's a worthwhile vehicle for getting The Recommendations out there. (And if people download it thinking they're getting a pirated movie, all the better!)

We've compressed our film into a 500MB AVI file that you should be able to play with the free, easy-to-use program VLC (or any XviD/DivX-compatible player of your choice). We've slapped a Creative Commons license on it that says you can pass it along to anyone you want, providing you don't profit from the endeavour. And, incidentally, you're free to watch The Recommendations any way you like. Turn that sucker into an MP4 and stick it on your iPod. Burn it to a DVD or VCD and watch it on your TV. Drop a few dozen thousand dollars and blow it up to 35mm and project it on the side of an office building. As long as you're watching it, it's all gravy.

We consider this an experiment in indie film distribution. Getting our movie out this way, at practically not cost to ourselves and maximum convenience to you, will, we hope, enable more people to see our movie than they would via any other conventional method. We only ask that if you like The Recommendations you drop us a line, or tell a friend, or both.

And now, here's how to get our movie. We're going to assume a bit of familiarity with BitTorrent, which looks kinda complicated on the surface but is actually very easy to use. If you don't know from it, here is a very informative FAQ that should give you all the details you need.

UPDATE!: We've added The Recommendations to archive.org, where you can download it easily by right-clicking (on a PC) or control-clicking here and choosing "Save Target As..." or "Save Linked File As..." or whatever floats your boat. This is an easier way to download, provided you're not familiar with BitTorrent, but it won't be as fast (or as thrillingly cutting-edge) as going the BT route.

But back to the torrents: We've put our movie up on three trackers. Two require registration but will give you, most likely, better transfer speeds, and the other is open to anybody with an internet connection and a heart. They are:

MININOVA (no reg):
http://www.mininova.org/tor/558382

DEMONOID (reg):
http://www.demonoid.com/files/details/821441/509377/

KARAGARGA (reg):
http://karagarga.net/details.php?id=21920
Registration for Karagarga is not currently open but we expect it will be soon.

We hope you enjoy The Recommendations!

What They Ate: A Tale of Two Tubes

2007-01-25T15:44:00.000-05:00

The first tube is YouTube, where you can now watch this disturbing little movie made with artist extraordinaire (and head of our Monster Department) Nadia Moss.
The second tube is... well, watch the movie, if you haven't already: it's right here.

On The Lot

2006-12-10T02:20:00.000-05:00

"The Clock Strikes Doom" is now playing at the On The Lot website. Check it out here.

Broadcast Ourselves

2006-10-05T12:14:00.000-04:00

We've finally joined the You Tube revolution - you can now check out our latest previews, teasers and short shorts online. Look for the brand new Schandfilm Vier teaser, a new trailer for the smash hit Who Killed Dracula? and some classics like The Clock Strikes Doom, Dancing With Myself and Approach To The Castle. Find it all right here!

MySpace, the final frontier

2006-06-19T23:04:00.000-04:00

Yes, we've gone ahead and done it. Automatic Vaudeville now has a MySpace account. Join us there for movie previews, news, and more. Don't worry, the mothership site will still be updated (and, soon, completely overhauled). But, as so many long-in-the-tooth johnny-come-latelys have wearily explained... all the kids were doing it.

A Change Is Gonna Come

2006-03-23T12:52:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy couple of months here at Automatic Vaudeville Studios and a lot of changes are in the works, not the least of which is a total redesign of the web-site - I'm talking new layout, original artwork, fresh attitude - you can't beat that. We plan to re-launch some time this spring. Until then, here's a shot from our latest movie: What They Ate. Made in association with Bravo!FACT, this short film was conceived and created by Nadia Moss and directed by Seth W. Owen. Check back here for more updates.

Podcast news

2006-02-03T17:05:00.000-05:00

Just a quick announcement that episodes 1 through 6 of Automatic Podville are available for download! As always, you can subscribe for free via iTunes by clicking here!

Or, if you don't use iTunes and want to download the MP3s straight-up, you can via these links:

Episode 1 - New Academy Awards! DVD Roundup!
Episode 2 - The year in movies! DVD Roundup!
Episode 3 - Historical figures in the movies! "Have the Movies Gone Too Far?"! More DVDs rounded up!
Episode 4 - What can we learn from this year's Best Picture Nominees? "What's Wrong With the Movies?"! MORE DVDs, rounded up even more!
Episode 5 - Valentine's Day Special! Our top three romantic movies! New ideas for onscreen couples! "Do Movies Still Matter?"! And yet even more DVDs rounded up!
NEW! Episode 6 - Passion Lives Here: The Olympics Edition. Movies inspired by sports! Sports inspired by movies! Our new segment, "Especially Featuring"! DVDs! Rounded! Up!

And, of course, you can always contact Automatic Podville by emailing us: podcast at autovaud dot com (change at to @ and dot to .)

Automatic Podville!

2006-01-17T23:38:00.000-05:00

UPDATE: We've been added to the iTunes Music Store! If you use iTunes 4.9+ and would like to subscribe to Automatic Podville, just click here and wait for iTunes to open, then click the "subscribe" button on the page it loads.

Automatic Vaudeville is proud to introduce Automatic Podville, our latest endeavour. Automatic Podville is one of those newfangled podcast thingies, which basically means it's a short radio program produced by us which you can download and listen to on your computer or portable music device, like an iPod. Each week we'll deliver movie-flavoured hilarity straight to your virtual "door"!

Here's how it works: if you use a recent version of iTunes (that'd be iTunes 4.9 and up, or any other music program that supports podcasts, or just an RSS reader), you can simply subscribe to Automatic Podville and each week iTunes will automatically download the latest episode, which you can listen to right then and there, or transfer to your magical music machine.

If you don't use a recent version of iTunes or other compatible player, you can simply download an MP3 straight from our server with the provided link, and add the file to whatever music library you happen to be using.

So why not get right down to it? Our inaguaral podcast deals with the excitement and glamour of "Awards Season," from the recent Golden Globe Awards to the upcoming Oscars.

If you use iTunes 4.9+ and/or have an iPod click-wheel or up (like an iPod nano, an iPod photo, or iPod video), you'll want to subscribe to the Enhanced Podcast, with pictures and chapter markings and stuff. Select and copy this link:

http://www.autovaud.com/podcasts/podcastAAC.xml

Head on over to iTunes and click on the "Podcasts" thingy on the left-hand sidebar thingy. Then go up to the "Advanced" menu at the top of the screen and click on "Subscribe to Podcast..." Now, copy the link you just copied into the window that pops up. It's that easy!

If your music player doesn't support Enhanced Podcasts but you still want to subscribe, select and copy this link:

http://www.autovaud.com/podcasts/podcastMP3.xml

Now, if you're using iTunes 4.9+, head on over there and click on the "Podcasts" thingy on the left-hand sidebar thingy. Then go up to the "Advanced" menu at the top of the screen and click on "Subscribe to Podcast..." Now, copy the link you just copied into the window that pops up. It's that easy!

If you're not using iTunes, you'll have to consult your music program's documentation. And if you're using an earlier version, see below.

And if all of this makes no sense to you whatsoever...

Right-click (or control-click if you're using a Mac) on this link and choose "Save Target As..." or "Save Link As..." or "Download Link to Disk" to download our first episode. There you go!

We hope you enjoy Automatic Podville and we'd love your feedback. Write us at autovaud at gmail dot com (sorry, we have to spell it out to avoid spam), and if you enjoy the podcast, hey, why not pass it along to your dear friends?

We'll be seeing you... in cyberspace.

WHAT A YEAR!

2006-01-10T17:07:00.000-05:00

As we boldly step forward into 2006 let us take a moment to reflect upon the year that was. For Automatic Vaudeville Studios 2005 saw many exciting developments: A new DVD (Hi-Class DVD Vol. II, on sale now,) a new slate of pictures (Who Killed Dracula, The Clock Strikes Doom, Schandfilm Drei,) and many wild adventures. But perhaps the best way to chart the year is by taking a look at Automatic Vaudeville's Idea Book.

The Idea Book, introduced in 1998, is an collection of ideas for movies to which all are welcome to contribute. Maybe you just have a great name for a movie or an idea for a scene. Whatever the case, send it along and we'll include it in the big book.

Below are some of the best Idea's from Automatic Vaudeville Studios' IDEA BOOK 2005:

DANCING MACHINE
A down on her luck dance teacher gets a once in a lifetime chance when she's chosen to compete in a national dance competition. What she doesn't know, though, is that an evil real estate mogul has developed the perfect Dancing Machine. Can our young hero dance her way out of this one or will the robot be doing the mambo in the winner's circle.

PIN PALS
Two children who enjoy poking people with pins befriend each other and escape to a magical world ruled by balloons.

DINNER. SET. MATCH.
Two top chefs - a dude and a babe - face off in an iron chef style showdown. Later they fuck.

BOOZEHOUND DOG
An animated musical about a dog who is also a wino.

"BIRKRON"
A robot jeweler solves crimes. Action packed. Think Lovejoy meets Blade Runner.

BROMANCING THE BONE
Male romance/adventure.

TEEN TINY TOE (alternate title: Tony Toe Teen)
A teenager with a tiny "toe" faces a number of humiliations.

DREAM BOATS
Every night a young man dreams of sailing a beautiful yacht to a mystical land. One night he dreams of a beautiful woman with an even more magnificent boat. He is determined to find her in his waking life. But she is not who he thinks...

HAND WORK
Behind the scenes in Vegas as aspiring poker champs try to make it big. The "Gross Anatomy" of poker movies.

UNTITLED COMEDY
A high-strung man on vacation is mistaken for a war correspondent and taken by a Fixer into all sorts of Hot Zones and tricky situations.

THE IVORY GHOST
An African ghost trapped in a bar of soap fights for gender equality in the bloody diamond trade.

THAT GHOST IS A SPY!
A secret government agency recruits the dead to do their dirty work overseas. It seems like the perfect plan until one of the ghosts falls in love with a Muslim extremist.

And that's the year that was. Remember to send in your ideas to be included in the 2006 edition of Automatic Vaudeville Studios Idea Book!

Have A Happy New Year!

Idiot Boy Returns, Several Rejoice!

2005-11-18T12:44:00.000-05:00

Yes folks, it's true - after a long battle with dehydration, Idiot Boy Neal Anderson has returned just in time to provide you with an extensive holiday movie preview, over at Screen Test. While you catch up on the latest blockbusters, we here at Automatic Vaudeville Studios will be busily tinkering away on a number of exciting projects... keep your eyes peeled!

Bat's Entertainment!

2005-11-02T15:13:00.000-05:00

Fangs to everybody brave enough to attend our Hi-Class Halloween Screeming! And a very special fangs to Big Gold Hoops & Kosher Dill Spears, The Donkeys, and Halloween 2005 MVP Nadia Moss for making it all happen.

Some images from the night:

Fangs for all your support!

2005-10-23T20:06:00.000-04:00

YOUR HI-CLASS HALLOWEEN SCREEMING

2005-10-20T14:51:00.000-04:00

A Captivating Kick-Off to the Season of Scares In that Glorious & Glamorous Automatic Vaudeville Tradition!

One Nite Only!

THURSDAY OCTOBER 27th 2005.
Doors 9:30pm - Show Starts 10pm
La Sala Rossa (4848 St. Laurent) Admission: $10 ($8 with costume.)

Featuring our LATEST & BEST Motion Picture Entertainments:

SCHANDFILM VIER
THE CLOCK STRIKES DOOM
&
The Sophisticated Detectives in
WHO KILLED DRACULA?

with musical guests
THE DONKEYS
and entertainers extraordinaire
BIG GOLD HOOPS & KOSHER DILL SPEARS

Plus
GHOSTS! GOBLINS! GHOULS!
A SCOURGE of SCARIFYING SURPRISES & A GRAND GUIGNOL of MORAL DEBASEMENT!

Don't miss it!