Tao 1776

Disappointment

2009-11-12T11:33:00.007-05:00

People look at you and me to see

what they are supposed to be.

And, if we don't disappoint them,

maybe,

just maybe,

they won't

disappoint us.

Walt Disney

There really was a time when I could most sincerely agree with Will Rogers when he said, "I never met a man I didn't like." Keeping this quote within the context of which it was said, I seem to remember that he met people on an even playing field. It was only later, when they proved themselves to be asses, that he left them to their own ass-like devices; perhaps believing that their actions spoke for themselves. So, to a degree I guess that not much has changed. I still welcome everyone with that Howdy-Doody innocence, sincerely warm and friendly.

These days the problem lies with me having the "disappointments" and the "do not likes" outweighing the "inspiring" and the "likes" category of people.

Of course, in this situation, I'm trying to take full responsibility for the sometimes troubling unbalance. Hence the above Walt Disney quote...

Much of this began I believe, when I worked within the field of "mental health". The bureaucracy of it all and the high degree of mental health disturbances among those that were employed within the field left me scratching my head. Later, as the technical plant manager of a water based printing ink manufacturing company, the Machiavellian antics made many of my peers act like the runts of the litter scrambling for a place at the tit even when it was not at all necessary.

There was a time when it seemed that I could empathize with people in most any given situation because I knew in my heart that most people are really doing the best that they can. Within each of us is the likable and the ass; the runt and the benevolent. I knew it well within myself and recognized its existence in others. And somehow, at some time, I have become less approving of itself in me and within others.

Everyone is really pissing me off! And that includes me...

Friends and family. My job. The management and my fellow employees. Freemasons. Christians. Politics. Government. (The Lady is exempt. She is good company) America.

It seems that there are no good manners anymore. No common courtesy. The love of money and hypocrisy prevails. There are no leaders, only moronic followers. But as Hesse said,"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us."

Hmmmm.

Barnaby "Barney" Barnabas R.I.P.

2009-11-06T18:38:00.005-05:00

Born June 7th, 1997

Died November 6th, 2009

Barnaby B. Barnabas was today laid to rest. He was buried in the family pet cemetery along with several other family pets from days gone by. There were no services and no calling hours. He leaves behind many friends and family and his two cat friends, Noble and Butters.

Barney survived many obstacles and lived a full and healthy life.

His big heart will be missed.

Halloween Party!!!

2009-11-02T19:20:00.020-05:00

What a Dolt

2009-11-01T16:08:00.003-05:00

WTF?

A New England Tradition

2009-10-29T11:25:00.008-04:00

Hey Listen!!!

2009-10-24T11:01:00.001-04:00

You know all that stuff I was saying???

:>)

Where the rubber hits the road

2009-10-22T15:51:00.006-04:00

A chimpanzee who goes to the library everyday
is not intelligent,
he is just a chimpanzee
in a library.

I've been sick for the last week. No fever. Just lungs full of phlegm and the feeling that there's a cinder block on my chest. You can surely bet that any cold I manage to catch will readily convert to pneumonia. I guess that the point that I am trying to make here is that the above quote is meant to apply to me.
I have known some level of pain and illness and disability for much of the last twenty plus years. I have known pain as a teacher and as a friend. It taught me well; and compassionately. There comes a moment in time when the student is able to share from that of which he has learned. There is wisdom, and experience; self knowledge and a deep compassion because of it.
I am becoming more aware of how little I have to offer. I am empty.
In the story of Kwai Chang Caine his life's direction was abruptly altered in a moment of anger and revenge. It is incredulous to me how so much work and concentration and transcendence can be lost in a moment.
I too experienced that moment. The last decade has shown highs and lows but little of my emptiness. But I know. And I know why.
I think that the teacher is reminding me that he has never really been gone too far from me. I must return to him before he decides to return to me.
I don't think that I could bear that lesson again.

Shadow Gazing

2009-10-14T18:05:00.005-04:00

The Veil

2009-10-13T07:37:00.002-04:00

There's something about walking the trails at night during the darkness of an autumn journey as opposed to a journey of a mid-summer hike. Although I know that it is only a shift in my perception due to changes in the depth of the darkness, the crinkle of leaves, the sound of the wind in the semi shorn trees, my eyes see the shifting shapes comes out of the sky and stand there.
I'm fuckin scared man!

Heading out for the last long cruise of the season

2009-10-10T22:28:00.001-04:00

2009-10-10T22:27:00.000-04:00

2009-10-10T22:26:00.001-04:00

Buddhist peace pagoda in Leverett

2009-10-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

2009-10-10T22:21:00.001-04:00

2009-10-10T22:21:00.000-04:00

2009-10-10T22:20:00.002-04:00

2009-10-10T22:20:00.001-04:00

Zen pond

2009-10-10T22:20:00.000-04:00

Mustang's got a glow on

2009-10-10T22:15:00.000-04:00

2009-10-10T22:11:00.000-04:00

2009-10-10T22:10:00.000-04:00

Angela strikes a pose

2009-10-10T22:09:00.000-04:00

2009-10-10T22:07:00.000-04:00

The clock at Northampton

2009-10-10T22:06:00.000-04:00

The Lady waits

2009-10-10T22:03:00.000-04:00