WilkeWorld

A Note on the Camping Trip

2008-05-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

Yep. Peeing on trees represents the apex of the American camping experience according to my three-year-old son. I am not in a real strong position to argue with him. I, too, like to pee on trees. Oh, there is the fun of farting in the tent (which on this excursion consisted of the back seat of a Honda Odyssey), the joy of throwing sticks into a fire, and the jubilation of burying big bugs, but peeing on a tree trumps it all.

You see, he's only been potty-trained for about three or four months now and my wife is a big stickler for proper aim and hygiene, so the idea of unfettered urination is like Christmas and a Birthday all rolled into one. Here's how it all went down. He looked at me about an hour into the camping trip and indicated that he needed a trip to the facilities. I nodded, grabbed his little hand, and walked about four paces into the middle of the small stand of sagebrush before I declared that this little sagebrush bush would be the potty.

"Daddy, that's not a potty!"

"It is when you're camping, lil' bud."

His little eyes almost popped out of his little head. "I getta pee on the tree?"

"Yep, but ya can't tell Momma."

"Nope, I won't tell no one."

Yeah, that promise lasted about two minutes, 'cause when he got back to the fire he declared to all within shouting distance that he had peed on a tree.

I am a proud papa.

A List of Titles

2008-03-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

I have determined that I have a good long list of titles that I respond to or that are inherent since I am a father of children and married to a woman. Here are my favorites.

1. Daddy Dragon
2. Top Chef
3. Head Bug Squisher
4. Lead Light Bulb Changer
5. Garbage Taker-Outer
6. Fight Mediator (I share this in a joint roll with the Wife)
7. Preferred Poet (Yes, the Teenager has employed me at various times)
8. Bed Warmer (I lay on the Wife's side of the bed until such time that she gets in so the bed is toasty)
9. Reacher of High Places (a roll reserved for only the least height-challenged)
10. Official Blog Writer

A List of Being Almost Three

2008-03-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of Lil Indy. He cracks me up. I really think he has a tremendous life. It is a good time. So today I present a list of things that you can do at age three that you can't do at age 39.

1. You can refer to yourself as Baby Dragon without being a rapper or a martial artist.

2. You can take off all your clothes in front of very attractive women and they find it downright cute.

3. You can ride your wooden horse, Gallup, until you fall down in exhaustion.

4. You can give High-fives to everyone at church regardless of age, sex and social position.

5. You can spin yourself into oblivion without the spectre of vomiting hanging over you.

6. Finding out that you can snap your fingers is a big highlight in your day.

7. Grandpa gives you anything you want as long as you say "Thank you" and "Please".

8. Seeing the Moon in the sky is a cherished event.

9. Flirting with hot chicks will get you a sucker rather than a black eye.

10. You might get to pee on Cheerios.

A Note on Swimming Fever

2008-02-03T08:24:00.000-08:00

The teenager attended the State Swimming Championships this weekend in Provo and had a spectacular meet. She bettered her personal best time in the backstroke by nearly a second and finished 12th in the 4A competition (she would have had a podium finish in 3A). She also got listed by several of the swim team boys as "Hottest Chick on the Team" during the swim preference. A big honor for sure.

As for the Wife and the kids and me, we just tried to stay upright. We were all so sick with fevers and coughs and stuffy noses. The little ones were troopers, but they can only sit in a hot, steamy swimming complex so long before they just revolt. The revolution was ugly but relatively quick and ultimately painless. Needless to say, today we are sleeping in and trying not to puke on each other.

As for other noteworthy events in the Jones household...we owe a ton of taxes this year and are dreading having to write that check. All is well.

A Further Note on the Half-Marathon

2008-01-27T09:32:00.001-08:00

Yep, that is me at the 8 mile marker. Notice the excellent attire and sane look. Yep, I'm quite the athlete.

A Note on the Half-Marathon

2008-01-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

So I did a Half-Marathon. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I am a fat guy and I don't work out. I do walk quite a bit, though, so I thought I might be able to do it if all I had to do was walk. Well, I did it and I walked. Alot!

I was a little under the weather and I don't own a pair of tennis shoes, so I showed up to the event bundled up in several flannel shirts and a pair of hiking boots. I looked a little bit like Grizzly Adams at a health spa, but I wasn't there for a beauty contest. I was there to compete like the extreme athlete that I am. Yep, I finished 446th out of 451 male contestants and like 985th out of 999 contestants overall. I totally smoked the 350-lbs hispanic kid and the 85-yr-old grandma with the cigarette hanging out of her mouth. I rock.

Why did I do it?

I think it was just to be able to blog about it. I am sick and tired of all the little in-shape tarts out there in their spandex chatting up the fact that they did a 5k or ran a triathlon. Well, try strapping a 120-lbs washing machine to your back and walking 13.1 miles and you will have some idea of the pain that I experienced. Of course, I could not move for three days thereafter. The Wife is convinced I did it just to get out of some housework.

Well, I did it.

Next up....You tell me. I will pick one of the suggestions and do it.

A List of Living

2007-11-15T17:54:00.001-08:00

You know, maybe its my mid-life crisis. It must be that. I mean I don't want to go out and buy a Porsche to prove I'm still young or anything. Nor do I find the hot young girls overwhelmingly tantalizing (I love the Wife just fine). Lately, I just find myself thinking a lot about this little thing we call life. It is just speeding by so quickly. My little Touchdown is 5. 5!!!!! And the Teenager is dating and moody and will be out of our house in a year and a half! I am not ready for it. I'm not that old.

I think this has been brewing for a little bit mainly because of the crazy health issues in my family right now. My brother is recovering from a major knee reconstruction and just got news that it is way too loose and he will probably have to do it all over again. Or maybe its that my sister is having complications with a pregnancy. I don't know, but for whatever reason I've been thinking about my place here on the earth. My reason for being. I know that any day could be my day to leave and I'm just not ready to do it yet. I don't feel old. Heck, just the other day I made a fart joke. That should prove my immaturity, right? I love my kids and my wife. I know that I'm here for them. In the end, they are the ones I will keep with me even when I leave this life. I am extremely grateful for that blessing. I don't know that I could have ever imagined a blessing so great. For that reason, I am presenting here my list of "Things That Make Me Happy I'm Alive".

Here goes....

1. Hearing little Indy make up the word "threemorrow". FYI, its the day after "twomorrow".
2. Hearing word that Touchdown thinks Joseph Smith is the guy with the "scared leopard". FYI, Mormons generally refer to him as having recieved a "sacred record".
3. Watching the Teenager get "googly-eyed" over a boy and have to tromp into a cemetary on Halloween to recieve a Sadie Hawkins Dance acceptance.
4. Watching the Wife get excited about our upcoming trip to Savannah, Georgia.
5. Holding a skull in my hands on Halloween Day. Yep, I got to excavate a Native American burial on Halloween. One of the coolest things I have ever done.
6. Hearing the story of my buddy's little 3-year old girl doing a rousing rendition of Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" when her Primary (Sunday School) teacher asked for a song about Jesus.
7. Watching my little niece score a goal for the "Pink Roses" soccer team. She's 5 and is quite a bruiser/darling.
8. Knowing that I am conquering Adobe Illustrator CS3 (I set a goal to master it before Christmas).
9. Seeing my kids dressed up like a Cowboy and a Mermaid Princess (Ariel) for Halloween. Lil Indy galloped the entire time.
10. Watching my wife hug her kids.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

A Note on My Life in Kanab

2007-10-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm still here.

I am a little bit swamped with work as I am on location at a dig in Kanab, Utah, but I am still kicking.

Here are a few tidbits for you all to chew on.

The lights in Lil' Indy's room went out this week and he kept asking if his lights could get new batteries.

The Wife made about $250 on her garage sale this past weekend and she has already spent it.

The Teenager is totally whipped about a new boy friend from a neighboring high school. The castle is getting wilder and wilder.

Touchdown is now starting to read. Heaven help us all.

The King is really tired and this bed is really hard and uncomfortable.

A Note on Yet Another Cliche

2007-08-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

You've heard the saying, "You are acting like you've got ants in your pants." Well, I now know exactly what that saying means.

I was minding my own business, conducting an archaeological survey in the Beaver Dam Mountains, when I felt a distinct, sharp, bite on the inside of my thigh. Yeah, a bite. At first, I thought I had stumbled on a cactus and it had started to stab me in a delicate area. But then, the pricking sensation continued again and again and again. I couldn't make it stop. I started jumping up and down and rubbing myself in a not-so-flattering manner. I was with a female co-worker, so I couldn't just drop my pants and take care of things. Believe me, I wanted to. After a few minutes, though, I figured the avoidance of pain outweighed good taste. I ran behind the truck and stripped down. When I had finally exposed the area, I saw the little bounder with an evil little look on his face. I killed him...but not before he bit me again.

I think my co-worker is still laughing. I, in the meantime, am trying to control the swelling with a well-placed ice pack. Oh, the horror.

A Note on Notes

2007-07-31T14:29:00.000-07:00

Touchdown: "Whew, Mom, I am so tired. Whew!"
The Wife: "What's up, pumpkin? Why are you so tired?"
Touchdown: "I just finished and I am just soooooo tired."
The Wife: "What did you finish?"
Touchdown: "I just finished writing you an essay. I'll go get it for you, Mama....Here it is!"

Touchdown presents The Wife with a white sheet of paper with the letters, "S" and "A" written across it.

"Here's your essay, Mama."

A Note on Floam

2007-06-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

Here are a few random stories from the minds and actions of Touchdown and Lil Indy.

The other day Touchdown came into The Wife's office to hear her lamenting that she was in trouble 'cause she had to get an e-mail out before the end of the day. She felt bad for her mother and went out depressed. A few minutes later she came back in with a wide grin.

"Momma," she said, "you're so lucky."

"Why is that, Touchdown?"

"'Cause when you're in trouble, State Farm is there."

This revelation came on the heels of a complete meltdown earlier in the week. Touchdown just lost it. She came in to The Wife's office with "crying drips" flying in every direction and could not be consoled. Finally the Wife got her calmed down enough to find out the cause of the consternation.

"Momma, its just not fair. It's not fair! Why do you have to be 18 to buy floam?!?"

The last story comes from the mouth of Lil Indy. Yesterday, while riding home from lunch at Mickey D's, Lil Indy sunk back into his carseat and delivered an astute declaration.

"Daddy!"

"Yeah, bud."

"Daddy, I'm tired of the ladybugs."

Ummmmmm, who isn't?

A Note on Expired Diapers

2007-06-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

That's right. Diapers have an expiration date. I don't know exactly why they have an expiration date, but they do. I guess if you keep diapers too long you're too tempted to have more babies? It's the government's way to curb population growth.

Oh, and lifejackets also have an expiration date, as do condoms. I don't know how the government factors into it however. I am still mulling this one over.

Here are a few things I would put an expiration date on if I were in charge of things.

1. Reality TV shows.
2. Oscar acceptance speeches.
3. Celebrity renderings of the National Anthem.
4. My wife's memory of my wrongdoings.
5. Women's perfume (I swear I smelled some mothballs the other day in the Walmart)
6. Driver's licenses (60 years ought to be plenty)
7. Barney the Purple Dinosaur
8. Paris Hilton
9. Computers
10. Gumballs from a Gumball Machine.

A List of Concepts I Think I Understand But I Don't

2007-06-04T19:06:00.000-07:00

1. Anti-Oxidents...I think I need them and I know that some foods have all of them that I need, but I then get confused and I think this is something you don't want in your car. Or do you want them in your car? They sound like something that builds up in your car. I am anti-anti-oxidents. Or am I pro-anti-oxidents? Does Dr. Pepper have any? Cause then I'd know if I like them.

2. Electrolytes...Gatorade has lots of them but I get a little constipated when I drink a lot of Gatorade so...

3. Estrogen...Well, this needs no explanation.

4. Ethernet...I think you plug it in to a USB port, whatever a USB port is.

5. Attention Deficit Disorder...I apologize now to all of you that have this disorder, but it sounds to me like boredom. The average attention span of an average adult is 22 minutes. I have spent 8 hours straight playing Runescape on the internet so I have no concept of this disorder.

6. Trans-Fat...I don't like it, whatever it is.

7. MSG...Chinese places don't use it, but it is in Doritos? How bad can it be?

8. Oprah...Yeah, Oprah is a concept. One I really don't understand.

9. Deal or No Deal...Ummmmmmmmmm, they pick briefcases and then they open them and then Howie goes to commercial.

10. The Chicago Cubs...

A Note for a Good Friend

2007-05-24T20:00:00.001-07:00

The Wife and I are often fond of calling our children nicknames. Touchdown is famously known as "Pumpkin Pie" since her birthday is in October. Lil Indy is often called "Bubba", "Tato Head", or "Mr. Magooby" for various reasons and The Teenager is known as "Sister" or Sweet Pie" because she is both sweet and the sister of the other two (even though we called her "Sister" well before the other two were even born). Any way, this morning The Wife asked Lil Indy if he was her "Bubba". He looked momentarily confused before he responded with his customary eloquence, "No, Mama. I Mr. Magooby."

We will be buying him spectacles and a cane in no time.

In other news, my job is going spectacularly well. I am finding arrowheads and pottery sherds in huge quantities and I think I am getting more confident in my abilities. The only real problem is that, since the temperature here in Southern Utah is now creeping towards 100 degrees, the powers that be at my work have instituted a 6:00 A. M. starting time for the excavation. Arrrrrgggggghhhhh! I am a night owl, not a morning person in the least. It has been a little trying of late. Not to mention that the wife is not really thrilled when I get up at 5:15 (she values her precious sleep).

Well, yesterday morning my alarm went off during a particularly good dream in which I was accepting the Nobel Prize for Archaeology or some such thing and I was literally jarred out of bed. Fearing that I would wake the Wife up, I pounced on the alarm and tiptoed gingerly into the closet where I dressed like a sneaky jaguar in the night. I listened for any movements from the area of the bed and (thankfully) the Wife slumbered, oblivious to my panther-like movements. I felt so proud of myself for not awakening her (usually I am an overgrown kangaroo in a bounce house). I then sneaked out of the room and went and fixed my lunch. So far, so good.

After a particularly unfortunate battle with the ice machine on the freezer door, however, I must have awakened her, cause she stumbled out into the family room to give me a kiss just before I left for work.

"Sorry about the ice maker, Hon," I lamented when she stumbled into the room.

"It wasn't you," she replied. "Its that wind. It blew that tree into the storm drain all night long."

Phew! It wasn't me that awakened her. I am just that good.

Fast-forward to later on that night.

"I hope it isn't as windy as it was last night," says the Wife as she jumps into bed and snuggles up next to me. "I really don't like sleeping with the Kicker (aka Touchdown)."

"You spent the night with Touchdown?"

"Yeah, you didn't notice that I wasn't in the bed when you woke up?"

"Ummmmmm..........."

Insert the Wife's disgusted look here.

"You didn't even look to see if I was there? In the bed?"

"Ummmmmm.........I love you?

"What if I had been kidnapped? Or in dire need of your help? You didn't even venture a glance at the bed?"

"Honey, you've lost so much weight lately that I must have thought you were under the covers even though you weren't."

I still have the reflexes of a cat.

A Note on Palm Springs

2007-04-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

I am so overwhelmed.

I have work, which is absolutely exhausting. I have a terrible sinus/allergy/flu/fever/dehydration thing that is going on three months. I have three very involved children with exceptional demands. I have a wife that is equally swamped with work. And I have a blog.

The blog gets the short end of the stick when all else overwhelms. Sorry....

To catch up a bit.

The family has been on a full blown spring break vacation to Palm Springs in the last month and the wedding of the Wife's eldest nephew in Santa Clarita, California as well. To say the least, the kids are champions when it comes to sitting in the van for long periods of time.

I am not.

In Palm Springs we accomplished the following...

1. We swam around in circles interminably in the resort's "Lazy River".
2. The King went golfing at a very ritzy golf course in Indio and got lousy service.
3. The whole family again jumped in the van and made a trip to SeaWorld and saw Shamu. Lil Indy patted one of the Budweiser Clydesdales, Touchdown got splashed by a stingray, and the Teenager spent innumerable hours in the bathroom straightening her hair (which is what I could say most any day).
4. We sweated our tushes off at the Living Desert Animal Sanctuary and Gardens.
5. We got on a tram and went to the top of an extremely high mountain for no apparent good reason (have I explained that I am terrified of heights).
6. The Wife and I cruised through Joshua Tree National Monument one morning and I loved it immensely.
7. We ate a lot of food that isn't good for us.
8. The King got his finger smashed in a restaurant door trying to prevent Lil Indy from running into traffic in the middle of Palm Springs.
9. We went around in circles a lot in the "Lazy River".
10. We travelled in circles in the...well, you get the picture.

A good time was had by all.

A Note on Crying Drips

2007-02-25T14:20:00.000-08:00

Every so often you just have to write down things that your kids do so that you will remember them forever and you will be able to tease them about it when they are teenagers. This week was one of those weeks. My little Touchdown was a total treasure trove of one-liners this week and I've got to relate the sheer madness of her little personality. She is really a pill.

It all began last Saturday when she was to go to her cousin's "Princess" b-day party. The Wife was sick so I got saddled with the chauffeur duty. As I got Touchdown buckled into the minivan and made my way around the front of the van, I may have let a little gas escape me in the form of a little toot. She laughed hysterically and we left to go to the party. I thought all had been forgotten of the toot, but about a mile into our sojourn I look back at her and she is just about to cry. She is holding the folds of her lavender chiffon "Princess" dress in her little hands with a look of total despair and disgust.

"Daddy," she said with her nose all scrunched up, "your toot made my dress all foggy. Look! It's all foggy."

I looked but I must say it didn't look foggy at all. Nevertheless, perception is 95% reality so I'll take her word for it.

In a related story, this past Monday on a similar drive (albeit tootless), Touchdown started sobbing in the back seat because she didn't want me to die. Its a long story, but one in which the Primary in our local congregation was teaching the children about God's Plan and mentioned that in God's Plan every one of us will eventually die but that we can live with our families forever if we're not naughty. Well, Touchdown has been naughty lately and so she was sure that when I died and she died we couldn't live together and she was not happy about it. She was a total mess. Tears were flying in every direction and little Touchdown was really quite amazed that so many tears were flying out of her. She stopped her crying for a brief second amidst all of this blubbering and asked...

"Daddy, does everyone get them like me?"

"Get what, honey?"

"The crying drips. Does everyone get the crying drips like me?"

Sometimes its good to be the daddy.

A Note on February

2007-02-12T07:56:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been awhile since I have written and I have to catch up. Here is a quick list of events in our family.

1. The Wife and I went to see Howard Jones in an acoustic concert. He was phenomenal. Really! I haven't had so much fun in a long time. It was quite comical that every 30-something in Southern Utah was at the concert. We must have exhausted the babysitter pool in three counties.

2. Speaking of pools...the Teenager again made the State Swimming Meet in the 200 IM and the 100 Back. She went to Provo and swam beautifully getting 13th and 14th respectively. We are very pleased.

3. Kid Indy is a total terror. The Queen has now bungee-corded all of the kitchen chairs to the table to prevent him from total destruction.

4. Touchdown is doing fine. She is still a little manipulator of nearly everyone and is (as I speak) stealing colored paper for a project.

5. I am busy with my job. Just this past week I went to the Arizona Strip south of Fredonia and found a Bajada and a San Jose projectile point. Cool stuff for sure.

6. The Queen is busy planning our Spring Break trip to Palm Springs and seems all too happy about it. She is just anxious to be off for a full week and I can hardly blame her.

7. We are very blessed.

8. Grandpa Jones went to the hospital again because of his blood clot and they put him back on blood thinners. He is doing better.

A Memory of My Mother

2007-01-18T20:16:00.000-08:00

I can't remember if I told this story on this blog before, but I will do it again cause it is so like my mother.

I was single and living by myself in Las Vegas several years ago and eating out nearly every day. That guy on "Supersize Me" had nothing on me. Anyway, my mom caught wind of the situation and was apparently appalled. She couldn't bear to think that her little boy was eating junk food for every meal. So what did she do. She drove to Las Vegas and took me to a supermarket and we bought a bunch of fruits and vegetables.

I was so humiliated. A grown man in a grocery store with his mommy. I have such a great mom.

A List from the Holidays

2007-01-05T20:24:00.000-08:00

The following is a list of holiday happenings here in WilkeWorld. Enjoy.

1. My niece, Dora, and little Touchdown asked my nephew, Marty, what color the orange sign was. He replied that it was orange. They informed him that he was wrong. The real color of the sign was "Selma". At 3, he was mightily confused and much crying ensued. Dora and Touchdown still insist it was "Selma".

2. My mother recieved a digital camera and a memory card for Christmas from us, her children. Upon seeing the memory card she asked my sister, "What is this? The film?" Welcome to the 21st Century, Mom.

3. My niece, Dora, recieved Baby Alive from Santa and it proceeded to poop and pee all day long. There was much crying when she discovered that a baby was a lot of work and not at all like it said on the commercials. I remember that feeling.

4. The Wizard, my brother, Jedora, my brother-in-law, Bernie (I think that name is funny so I'll use it here) and I all lost our hearing when we went to the shooting range and fired off a series of rounds using an assault rifle called an M-4 (or an AR-15). Yeah, the King is now more than equipped to defend his kingdom.

5. The King didn't blog and I'm very sorry.

6. The King and the Queen got Howard Jones tickets for Christmas. The 80s rock!!

7. The King went undefeated at Canasta and winless at Acquire.

8. Lil Indy can destroy Christmas in a heartbeat.

9. The Court Jester (AKA the Brother-in-Law) took my Father-in-Law to the Rose Bowl. Kudos to him. I, too, like football by the way.

10. The New Year was rung in with a big kiss for the Queen. (BTW-Marty, my little nephew, was quite distraught when he got no toast at midnight. He was told there would be toast at midnight and all he got was sparkling cider.)

A Memory of Normalcy

2006-12-23T12:23:00.000-08:00

It is about time I write again on this blog, right?

The birthday getaway to Las Vegas was supremely worthwhile as the Wife and I slept in and had a wonderful evening walking around the shops of the Green Valley Resort. Every now and again, one needs to treat oneself.

As for the Christmas plans, it looks like the wife has drained the pocketbook once again. Ask the Wizard if he agrees that the Wife has a real Christmas fetish. The place looks like Santa exploded in here. Oh, well. At least she isn't Miss Bah Humbug. I guess I should be happy.

The Teenager is equally as committed to the holiday spirit as evidenced by the amount of time and energy devoted to wrapping and prettifying every package. She is so addicted.

A Note on Being a Dud

2006-12-05T20:28:00.000-08:00

"You gotta blog tonight, honey. Your blog is such a dud."

Soooooo..........

What to say....what to say....

Oh, I know. I will talk about the fact that my wife's razor sharp toenails sliced my knee and I actually started bleeding in bed at 5:00 in the morning. She claims that Touchdown invaded our bed and forced her to snuggle up with me on my side. I don't know if I buy the explanation. All I know is that the shock of being cut in the middle of the night is quite disturbing.

As for the wife, she thinks she is pretty funny. I teach Sunday School to the adults in my congregation and this past Sunday I used myself as an object lesson. I had some static cling and I asked if anyone could tell what was wrong with me. Well, it was like the Wife was on a pogo stick. She was like Horshack on Welcome Back, Kotter. "Oh, oh, oh. I know. I know. Where do I begin?" Oh, she got her laughs. She was pretty proud of her quick wit.

As for Lil Indy, he is a total destructo-boy. He can shred a roll of toilet paper like no other. And he talks. Oh, he talks. He is 19 months old and knows his ABC's and his numbers (more or less). He also knows that he can get chocolate anytime he wants if he just sweettalks his mama or his biggest sister. Needless to say, the Christmas decorations are scaled-back this year. All we need around here is a glass ball ornament in a million pieces on the floor.

My birthday is Sunday. Happy Birthday to me.

A List of Giving Thanks

2006-11-25T22:59:00.000-08:00

I am thankful that I have never been arrested.
I am thankful that no one noticed when I went to work with my zipper undone a few years ago.
I am thankful that my brothers and sisters rarely read my blog.
I am thankful that I had a dog named Sally when I grew up.
I am thankful that someone finally married me.
I am thankful that my children seem to like me.
I am thankful that my mother is a killer cook (Thanksgiving Dinner rocked).
I am thankful that someone actually pays me to dig in the dirt and find cool Indian stuff.
I am thankful that I don't have a ridiculous nickname.
I am thankful that my immediate family seems relatively sane.
I am thankful.

A Note from the Test Pit

2006-11-19T07:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I haven't been posting very often. That type of thing happens when you are on a dig. To give you all an update, I have been having a great time excavating Anasazi ruins in the middle of the sand. I have excavated a small firepit/hearth and we are in the process of unearthing a possible pithouse in one of the test trenches. I know that sounds boring to the Wife, but it is a lot of fun for me.

As for the Wife, I have an annoying story to tell. The Wife took the Teenager, the Teenager's best friend, Touchdown and Indy all to Salt Lake this weekend so the Teenager could see her high school football team play in the State Championship (they lost). The trip was uneventful but wholly exhausting, and, yesterday when the whole crew arrived back in town, I could see that the Wife was worn down and needed my help. Well, we went to a church luau without the kids and then went to the grocery store to load up on essentials for next few days. The Wife stayed in the car while I went in and I decided that I would give her a little surprise. She loves the author, Janet Evanovich, so I thought I would get her Janet's new book called "Thanksgiving" for a special gift. I figured she could read it in the tub as she was soaking (she likes that kind of thing). I was looking forward to her reaction to my little gift when I plopped the grocery bag on her lap. I told her I got her a little surprise and awaited my coronation as "Husband of the Year".

The response: "Oh, that is so thoughtful, but I read this book this weekend on my trip."

A guy just can't win.

A Note on Tu-tus

2006-11-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

So, the life and times here at the castle have been hectic to say the least.

The Teenager is completely boy crazy and is fixated on her appearance and hygiene to the Nth degree. To wit, I was driving her to school the other day when her mascara clumped on her eyelash. Instead of dealing with the situation with any kind of normal logic, she shuffled through her 18-lbs handbag and found a safety pin. She then opened the safety pin (making it infinitely less safe) and used the sharp end to break up the clump. I look over at her (while I'm driving) to see a needle millimeters from her eyeball. Good thing I didn't slam on the breaks. What was she thinking?

And then we go and let the Teenager drive!?!?

Yeah, we do.

Well, whenever I make a bold move or a dangerous move in the minivan, the Wife yells, "Hold on to your tu-tus, girls."

With that in mind, you will understand the following story.

The Teenager is constantly needling us (no pun intended) to allow her to drive now that she has her learner's permit, so the other day, the Wife relented and gave her the chance to drive. Knowing that her sister is no Mario Andretti just yet, little Touchdown curled up into a little ball in her car seat and said the following:

"Go ahead, Sis, and do your traffic thing, my tu-tus are all holded on to!"

Out of the mouths of babes.

A Note from the Field

2006-11-02T08:49:00.000-08:00

I wonder what it all means.