I think

Like a brick (...house)

2009-03-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

It has been kind of a first for me and my group this week. In my 4 years in NC this was the first time that a student suicide has hit so close to those that we regularly interact with at Uth.

I got the call Monday morning from a parent who's daughters found out via text message at midnight the night before. Actually, I have now come to find out that 90% of the students found out via text message that night...how crazy is that? Finding out about something like that in such an impersonal and emotionless avenue makes me cringe for this generation.

Anyways, the guy who died is someone that me and most of my high school students knew and that makes this really tough. Even those that weren't close to Him are still wandering about like zombies trying to make sense of the concept of the life's unpredictable, unfair, and un-answerable moments.

DEATH hits you like a brick no matter who you are. Those who grow cold to death have grown cold to a part of life.

The wake up call to many students has been to realize that life is not forever and, even tougher, wrestling with the questions of "why?" WHY would he want to end his own life? Why would anyone want to end their own life? Could I have done something to help? Did I do anything to NOT help? I tell you what...this guy was never a regular attendee but I sure do remember him and the times he did come and it makes me wonder if I did all that I could to "reach out" and love him.

DEATH hits you like a brick no matter who you are. It makes you think more about the parts of life that are ‘no fun to look at.’ It makes us look at ourselves.

Tonight a decent sized group of kids came to Uth directly from the wake and it couldn't have been more...oh, I don't know how to describe it. God got a lot of Glory tonight and I am glad that this could be a place for people to hug, cry, sit, listen, and BE. Nobody wanted to leave but I knew at one point that we needed to tactfully end in a way that kids who’s parents were waiting could leave but not make older driving students feel pushed out.

I got home 2 hours later. It was a good night.
Tomorrow is the funeral.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

MY LITTLE ANGELS. whew.

2009-01-14T19:17:00.001-08:00

Whew. I don't know why I am so tired...or am I. I'm at a place right now where I am clearly exhausted but to awake to sleep. So I am turning to an old friend...the blog. I guess I could mention that I haven't blogged in awhile but that isn't really a good use of time.

I am a youth pastor. There i said it. I spend countless hours listening to, talking to, talking at, high fiving, teaching, loving, programming for, worrying about, and stressing about people who are between the ages of pure innocence and pure adulthood. Yes, that’s my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Tonight was the “big night” of the week. It was Wednesday night where the main teaching occurs, all of us are together (middle school and high school), and we do a lot of outreach type stuff on this night to make it fun and kind of make it lighter for the students. Oh well, I will stop describing it because anything I write about usually is made to sound cheesier than it is and I like what we do on Wednesdays.

It’s a big night for me, for countless student leaders, and my adult leadership team. My night begins at 4 Pm when I unlock the doors, turn on the music, open up the game room, and get out the ball cage. Not a huge chore before I run home to welcome my wife home from work and take time to enjoy an hour to have dinner…as I mentally try to focus on anything other than my responsibilities at church. It usually ends up being a very quality conversation followed by a quick meal (which makes me feel terrible when she makes something amazing that I can’t be still and enjoy). I’m out the door at 6 PM to greet students, meet visitors, prep adult leaders, talk to parents, clean up messes, give side-hugs, and make sure the youth band has everything they need to get the sound check taken care of before we turn on the stage lights on go at 7 PM. Whew.

Tonight we were graced by God to have about 8-9 new middle school kids come that have never been to any type of church before. That is one of those things that I say is a blessing but feels more like a flu shot. It is always tough to welcome students into the group, make them feel welcome, love them, and be patient with them when they have never been taught mutual respect of any kind. I bonded with most of them before the rally began but it was all downhill after that…during the message a couple of them got up, picked up a basketball (out from where it was put away) and started dribbling it, and shooting it. That sounds pretty harmless (I probably sound like Hitler) but you should know that we meet in a gym and I teach from right below the basket…this kid was in another world completely. Whew.

Despite the wild night of my LITTLE ANGELS texting, making cell phone calls, and talking out loud to each other during the teaching and prayer…we had a great night. Great responses to the scripture, group time, and I had a parent meeting afterward that was well attended and I was prepared for it too! Whew.

I guess I just had a really long night and needed to write it out before I could really process it. Most of the detail has been omitted because I am just too lazy to try and remember it all…but the story ends great.

God gets the Glory for this. Our human-mess that we stress so much about.
God trusted this ministry with the souls of 60+ students tonight and, more appropriately, trusted us with 8-9 new unchurched students who need to know that there is hope and that they are worth someone’s time. Even if they are pretty annoying.

I had some adult leaders looking like they had already written their letters of resignation in their heads before they left tonight (including my wife).

God has trusted us with people. He brought them to us and I hope they come back. Even if it is just to play basketball during the message again. : )

crossword puzzles

2007-05-24T05:09:00.000-07:00

Now, Becky and I are one of those "cute couples" around where we live and the people we interact with. That is not a comparison thing..its just true. She's beautiful and I'm the funny one. We like to do the dumb looking stuff you see on those chick flicks like playing cards, sitting by the fireplace, playing guitar together, and I'm even ok with her picking out my clothes now...hey, I never did a great job anyway. I have no shame.

The thing we do together on planes is something I don't like so much. We do crossword puzzles. Now, we do not shell out the $3 for one of those puzzle books that you see by your grandfathers chair, we go for the free ones that share the seat pocket with the unused barf bags and then…we go to town. I hate it so much. She knows this though (I think).

My reasons for enduring the crossword puzzles are 1. to pass time, 2. spend time with her, and there is no #3 that I can think of. Those are my reasons. Sorry for those who love these random little brain stretching things (my wife, etc.) but I don't like stretching myself to do something I am not good at and nothing in me is convinced that I need to know any of the stuff to answer those questions.

I will sit down, look over and comb through the questions to find the easy ones (this is the only fun part for me). I will find the ones that I already know or can guess at and then...wham, I impress my wife with my knowledge of finding a 4 letter word for "baby horse." She calls me genius when I do that.

That moment usually lasts no longer than 47 seconds until my eyes begin grasping the embarrassingly empty boxes and seemingly unanswerable questions...and my mind starts thinking things like, "You are wasting your time," "who cares about this puzzle," and, of course, "Dude, the answers are in the back of the magazine."

So, I slither down from my 47 second throne of glory and find a place in boredom and the endless pursuit of either finding a shortcut or just giving up.

I write about this because I have been regularly teaching to students and adults for over a 1 1/2 years now and been involved in teaching environments for almost my entire life...and the looks in the eyes and the reactions they give (listeners) remind me so much of the my wife's husband as he goes through the motions of the wonderful crossword puzzle.

I have found that many church goers, attendees, ushers, and even hippy, emergeant Christians find themselves, on Sunday or whenever teaching is presented, going through these same motions.

THE "47 seconds"
It begins with the, "I'll give it a shot this time." Kind of a, "Ok, I'm here, don't complain" I mean, there is a lot to look forward to for some who may have no interest in any type of spiritual growth...most great teachers can hold any audience with an opening story of a childhood camping trip or about doing crossword puzzles with their wives on planes, etc. But, when the "47 seconds" of attention and laughter are up...

THE "Combing"
This is the part where I take a look at what is there when the easy part is over and realize that I will have to think and...Care if I am going to continue with this puzzle. This can be when the text of a well known bible story is being read aloud or when a deeper issue is being presented. This is the part that "listeners" must CHOOSE to listen. I don't think the devil has any problem with us hearing stories about the teacher's childhood camping trip…but for us to go deeper we must embrace the text. Be if we do not...

THE "Shortcuts"
I think this is the hardest to spot…unless you look into their eyes. Kind of like when my mom would get upset when I wouldn't look at her when she was talking to me. I would answer back, "why?" "Because you are not listening to me." She was right. I used to think that listening and hearing something were the same thing.

That voice goes off in our heads “isn’t there an easier way to learn this,” “do I really need to know this,” “I already know all this,” “uh….” Granted, some teachers are just plain terrible but, some listeners are just plain terrible as well.

The "Problem"
We get done with any type of worship gathering, service, small group, class, or whatever and maybe the response wasn't great. So we get together and get mad, pray a little, and talk about better songs to sing, better topics to preach about, a better time to meet, and a better way to arrange the chairs to ensure maximum listening capability...I mean, that's what we do. That's what I do.
As if the songs we sing, the stories we tell, the lighting we use, or the softness of our seats has any effect on the human heart.

I am one to strive for professionalism, be all things to all people, and even occasional go to Christian ideas conference for some “fill up.” But...has it become the only way that we know how to problem solve? Maybe the problem is being caused by how we are trying to solve the problem.

What can help? our churches, small groups...the Holy Spirit...not more funny stories, candles, food, movie clips, visual aids, that other church’s ideas, cooler worship song selection, or bleached hair on our pastors.

What can help? my marriage and the crossword puzzle drama...I'm buying her an ipod. : )

Another thing…when I zone out during these times with my wife I am not being purposeful with my time. I am not enjoying and being thankful for what I have. I am not loving...I am looking our for me and what I want to be, say, think, and do. That is not love. Love is sacrifice.

Maybe our prayers should not be for the band to come together this week, the message to be awesome (#1 used word by Christians today), but for us as a people to get over ourselves before getting out of bed that morning.

I rambled a bit. At least my mom will read this and maybe my wife too.

no other way.

2007-01-26T11:51:00.000-08:00

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Where do you want to be in 10 years?
What are your 10 year goals? etc.
I used to love to be asked this question or questions just like these ones.
I think I liked it so much because I felt like I always had the good sounding answers.
You know...like if my grandma asked I would say, with a wife and kids and a job and going to church somewhere (the younger cousins would all say things about pizza and Nintendo).
If my teacher asked I would say, with a wife and kids and a job and going to school.
(everyone else would say stuff about money and fame...I wanted money and fame too).
If my mom asked I would say, working to support my family and serving God.
(it was safe and made me stop asking me question so that I could get back to my life of eating pizza and playing Nintendo)
You know what I mean. You reach a point in your life whether it is something we grow out of or not...that you like to be asked certain questions because you feel like you have a good answer.
I mean...Girls love it when you ask them, "how are you doing"...if they are engaged and planning a wedding…but the other 70 years of their lives you will probably get the answer..."I'm ok."
I think it’s the same with guys and our football teams and money type stuff.

Back to THE QUESTION. I don't really have much of an answer anymore.
I hadn't thought of it in a long time and then when I was asked last month at, no other place but,
my ordination interview...it hit me like a 10 year old kid being asked about calculus (actually...it was just as if they asked me about calculus today).

It was one of those moments where I opened my mouth to answer the simple question that had always been so simple to 'cheese my way through'...but no words came out and all I could do was make obvious stalling movements and sounds like...stretching my arms, yawning (very small), looking at the ceiling and, of course, making the professional noises like..."well, um...ya know that's a good question. I was wondering when you would ask that."

But that only bought me six and a half seconds. So after my 6 and a half were up...I said, “I have no idea. I just hope I am still OBEDIENT."

I mean this in no cocky, prideful, arrogant, "look and listen to me" sorta way. But God spoke through me...to me that afternoon. Those dudes liked my answer but it wasn't mine and it has changed the way I live since that day.

Its what I have always believed...but it is not what I have always lived by.
Success = obedience to God.
That's it. plain and ridiculous. Against all logic that we can bring, all plans we can scheme, and all adventures we can dream. I believe that success in life is directly and solely connected to our level of obedience to God's voice. It calls for absolute trust and complete abandon. It calls for us to consistently ask ourselves..."am I living in obedience?"

When trouble comes along, when I am blamed for something, when another person is upset at me, when I am feeling good, bad, mad, glad or anything else you can feel (ending in 'd').
I must ask myself, “am I living my life and making choices that are directed by myself or by the God who knows, loves, created and cares about us all?

Because if I am! Than there is nothing to worry about!
I get chill thinking about that. Its simply amazing.

I think too many times a "new" option comes along that may be a good option.
It may look like an option that others who know and care about you say will be the best.
It may be an option that is what you have been praying for and seems to be the answer.
But is it an shiny new road or a place that God is clearly directing you down.

Friends, I have seen too many people singing, raising their hands, and loving others for God but making decisions for themselves. I have done this.

I wonder if we miss the point entirely when we think happiness or personal fulfillment have anything to do with God's definition of success? I wonder if we are missing something when we see every new option as a sure sign of God's path...what if we saw life as something that God knows best and obedience is the only way to survive?

Trust and obey
There is NO other way

It’s a radical trust but the peace surpasses all understanding.

JARED

fair

2006-10-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

I've been pondering/thinking/questioning the concept and validity of the word "fair."
Yeah...It doesn't seem very deep but its weighing on my mind a lot.

I seem to have heard all my life about this word (fair) and how life, competition, and even the prices of food can be described that way. You just have to find the fair deal or something.

I looked it up and is basically defined as "playing by the rules." hmmm...I guess I wanted a little more out of my dictionary. moving on I guess...

I see, interact, and connect with these people out here and find that life is not fair at all and saying that 'it is' seems to only put those who 'have' in a safe bubble of denial (am I wrong?). I wonder if the idea of fair is not only relative but is actually impossible.

I wonder if the only way that life can be seen as anything fair would be if the 'haves' were to realize that life is not fair and start making up for it by giving to the 'have nots.'

If the ones with families would be family to those without it. If those who are loved would love those who are without love. If those without hope would have people bring it to them. I wonder...I wonder if life is so unfair not because of sin and moral failure and the 'have nots' deserving what they got but primarily due to selfishness (or ignorance if I want to be nice) from the 'haves.'

I'm only critical because I am a have in almost every area. I have job, a college education, a wonderful home, wife, dog, computer, friends, mentors, church, income, family, truck...but I still not only have a hard time giving but tend to allow myself to see myself as a 'have not' who is waiting for those selfish 'haves' to pass me a slice of cake.

Questions:
Are all we literally "haves" and "have nots?"
Do we all have needs that another can and should fill?
But some of us just have more needs than others?
While others have more that they are able to give than others do?

With all that I have...I realize there are probably more people without it.
I wonder if the answer continues to be "love in action?"

This blog will not do a thing for anyones needs.
I have no answers. Just questions.

The Next Generation

2006-08-04T06:35:00.000-07:00

ff

Yes. There they are in all their glory. Their non-flashy uniforms, lack of special abilities or powers and none of them are even in "super hero" physical shape either. Just a couple of people/aliens/droids who once travelled the galaxy because it was their job and it made good 80's television.

The sad fact is, me and my dad would always watch this show. We never taped it off tv, bought the movies, or even considered attending one of the notorious star trek conventions. But, we would watch it as if something terrible would happen to the world if we missed as episode toegther. We knew all the main character's names (I can still name them all), all their signature phrases, and we loved it. My favorite character was Leuteniet Riker (the one with neck beard in the front row). I would sit on the brown chair (yeah, totally early 90's) and root for Riker to get the girl or figure out a way to get his team off the alien planet and save the galaxy. My dad didn't really have a favorite character...I thought that was so lame. Me and dad. "We were a bunch of nerds...or were we?"

I don't think me or my dad were ever critisized for watching star trek. One reason could have been that it was a newer show then and not everyone who watched it could tell that the spaceship was a toy being held up by fishing wire, but I wonder if we never knew were nerds for watching it because no one told us we were (stay with me here).

I feel like there is not a thing I do to this day that there is not a 100% chance that someone, friend or enemy, will let me know what they think abot me in some manner of humor or sarcasm. I do it too. Its like we are waiting for our moment to shine and someone's life is our diving board. This creates a tension.

I wonder if this has anything to do with life? I wonder how my relationship with my dad would have been if any of our friends made fun of us for being "trekkies?" I wonder, because I can't really know for sure, if my dad and I made it through life together because we didn't have people in our lives who made us feel like we need to defend who we are. Life wasn't and isn't perfect. But it makes me think that negative words, thoughts, critisisms, sarcastic remarks and joking at any level has adamaging effect on life. That maybe this wasn't what God created us to laugh about.

I don't believe that we were created with the inate ability to have to defend who we are.
I wonder if any of my "uneeded comments" have affected friendships or family ties?
I wonder if my words and actions are bigger that I am?

I'm not trying to sound like a childless parent here. We all know inately that "tearing someone else down to make ourselves feel better" is wrong. blah blah blah.
But I had never really thought about how great it can be when that works. I think back to a time in my life when I did not have to defend who I am or what I do? Life was simpler, life was good.

I don't think we are able to do anything anymore without thinking about what others will say, think, or do in reaction to us. That makes me sad.

I'm sorry to anyone who I have hurt by my words, stares, whispers, writing or selfish joking.

Jared

romans

2006-05-18T20:36:00.001-07:00

Its been so long since I used this blog that I forgot my login info. that sad.

Well...I've been reading in Romans as of late but haven't gotten much out of it. I mean, the truth is there and I feel it, but I don't think I'm letting it impact my life. So, here's what I've really been thinking about lately...

What needs to happen for someone to let something become personal? I get really frustrated, ok...not that frustrated, by people who don't understand why I recycle. I haven't met many people who understand or realize the importance in preserving our earth...etc. But, I know that they are quite aware that landfills full of trash are not good things. They know that recycling is a proven internationally recognized good for all people and for future generations. Stop me if I'm sounding like a politician, but I wonder if these people don't recycle because they don't have to live in the world that their/our polution will create. They send their trash off and don't have to see it in their dog's food dish the next week. Its gone, we still have places to dump our...lets move on.

And there it is. I wonder about issues like abortion. Yeah, abortion. If someone who is all anti-abortion, "its murder, mad mad mad" were to have a daughter get pregnant a few months before she was to start college on a full ride athletic scholarship to 'their dream school." Even thought hey may not change their opinion...they may change their thinking. Maybe abortion was a bad example. I think evangelism is a good one. I don't think i care enough sometimes about people who are heading to "hell in hand basket" (to borrow the phrase).

I've just been thinking about how individual thinking/acting I can be...or we can be. I do a great job of covering my own back and fulfilling my own needs but so often I ignore the way I live might affect others. Kind of like the way I change the channel when the commercial with the grey haired guy holding an african kid come on asking for money. I just mute it or turn the TV off. Its easier to do nothing than it is to do something. I don't have a plan on the side to change the world. I just wake up everyday hoping God will send me the map...or soemthing like that. Maybe thats wrong? I think it probably is or maybe there's a purpose in where I am and what I'm doing. Maybe there's a reason I don't blog anymore? maybe I'm thinking too much.

I'm not spending time proof reading ro spell checking my posts anymore. This is for me again.
I've been youth pastor for 8 months and they still haven't found this site.

Picking up the Pieces

2006-04-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

It is my belief that every time one goes to a new place they must re-find themselves there and that is what I have been doing over the past 6 months. My life changed when I married Becky, my life changed when I graduated from a university and the university lifestyle, my life changed when I accepted my current ministry position. My life has changed. But...

The hardest is not the newness; the hardest part seems to be trying to find the old me with its new skin. I have no doubt that God has led me to where I am and what I’m doing, but I tend to get real impatient about finding myself and the attributes about em that I worked so hard to gain before my life changed.

In the best words I can think of, I have been finding pieces of myself here in Kernersville, NC. The man who was once so disciplined, so on time, so everything (but not really everything) has become this new guy who had to ask directions to Wal-Mart or the post office. He has no gym membership and since he got one has seemed to find a great excuse every morning to convince me to let him go back to sleep. This guy has little time to keep in touch with his out of town relationships and this guy is me.
But I love my life and each day has its challenges. I feel like its easy to look back and think my life was easy and that I was awesome before I moved and got everything thrown out of whack-but...I am learning that I struggled to find myself at IWU 4 years ago and became a new me, I struggled to find myself at each of the summer jobs I took over the past decade, and who I am now is because of the pieces of myself that I found in each of those places.

I love change but I need help finding myself. Things are different...the places I eat, the conversations and dates I share with Becky, the people I call, the time I spend with God-its all different but its still me. It is still part of who I am.

I wish it was all easier.

Jared Bell

Was it the holy spirit or the giant sub-woofer?

2006-02-28T07:36:00.000-08:00

Hey, winter jam was a cool concert. The Christian bands were not bad and the even the fanatical old school Christian guys who couldn't go two seconds without asking for money and donations to help spread the love were bearable tonight. My group 0f 30 kids loved it. But…here's my thought.

The total attendance was nearly 17,000 people jammed into the Greensboro Coliseum going crazy for 4 hours. But then, at the perfect time there was a speaker on the stage, delivering a message of hope and love. He was definitely a youth speaker. He was funny, could handle a crowd, confident in his skill and kept the attention of people who were screaming and jumping around 5 minutes before he got up there. He was good and defintely called.

At the end of his message he gave a call and some 300 people came forward and made commitments for God. Out of the 300 people who went forward 118 of them made first time commitments to receive Christ. Pretty cool.

But I wonder if that is the only way to reach a kid these days? Is it all about the glitz and glamour of the experience or can we still say that people are really looking for something real and fulfilling that is only found in Christ? Can we say that without depending on these types of experiences? I hope so. I want to say that these experiences are nothing without the Holy Spirit working in the hearts and minds of those kids...but, when was the last time a meeting, worship service, Christian concert, and/or experience was planned and the Holy Spirit was the main event. What does it look like when an evangelistic event or lifestyle is really, really dependant on the healing and working power of the Holy Spirit?

I am not knocking on the hearts and intentions of the Winter Jam ministry.
I loved it and the experience was unforgettable.

But are we missing something in our youth ministries today. The theme of the Wesleyan youth conference in 2003 was consumed, called, convinced.

Has it now become entertained, impressed, consumed?
Are we training kids to become fully devoted followers of Christ or American idol judges?
Just some thoughts from a new youth pastor trying to make a difference for the kingdom.

Jared Bell

more.

2005-11-28T07:29:00.000-08:00

I'm at a place in life where I realize what is ahead of me and what i must do. but...I don't feel like I'm not making much progress at all. Am I depressed? no. Do i like my life? Yeah, I do. But there is a thirst for change. A wanting for my vision to become reality today. is it a patience problem. Possibly.
I feel that I'm not wasting my time preparing sermons, calling students, or programming events...but, I'm at a place of needing one of those moments where you can lok back and say, "wow, that's why God had me doing that!"

But now, its all work sometimes. It seems like the majority of his people are just not getting it. It seems like conflict is easier to find than conversion and nobody cares.

This all seems so depressing as i type this. It's really not, the church (local) is making progress and I am part of it. The kingdom in this area of NC is moving, but I want more! I want people to wake up to their potentials. I want to see people wake up to the reality of the gospel and Christ's love for them. I want to look and see us receive prodigals into our homes.

I get frustrated by people who call themselves christians, serve in the church, but really don't believe in the power of the gospel to change lives. They think God intended for us to sit on pews, listen to Chris Tomlin CDs, and stuff oursleves at the annual potluck. Didn't Christ die for more than that?

I read a book recently about the bankruptcy of ENRON corp. Talking about greed and our tendency as humans to believe one thing and do another. Geesh, we are so messed up some times.

Writing was good for me today. Kind of a wrant. ya know?

foosball & whopper BO

2005-10-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

There is a guy named Jeremy who attends my new church in NC. He just turned 27 last month and comes to church whenever he's not at work. He works at wal mart as a cart collector and, from what I've heard, a dang good one. Jeremy is special; he has a passion for Christ that can only be articulated by the scripture that talks of 'childlikeness' in the presence of God. I'm not sure of the technical wording but, Jeremy has a learning disability that keeps him at the mental capacity of someone 10 years younger than he is.

Today we spent a half hour playing foosball and talking about bowling, wal mart, and how "all Christian music is just awesome." I tell ya, he wanted to be here. But I, honestly, had a lot of other things I could have been doing. In fact, we sat down in my office at 8:58 AM and I had already looked at my watch by 9:05...I felt terrible.

After I realized he didn't want to just sit and talk I asked him if he wanted to walk around the church with me and explore...he got pretty excited about that. So we headed off tot eh Sunday school rooms and played some foosball in the Sr high room for awhile.

During that game I realized how screwed up I really am. I seriously did not want to lose to him. I pride myself as being a noncompetitive guy, but I realize now that I'm the same as everyone else...I just front that way when I'm around others who are more competitive than I am. I realized this after the first 5 minutes of foosball with my friend.

We started to play and I took off to an early lead of 6-2. Memories of 'never winning' and 'not caring about it' back in college came rushing through my mind. It's like I thought, by winning now, I'm showing those guys who beat me before that I'm somebody when it comes to this avenue of life. I was proving myself by beating a guy who just wanted to spend some time with me.

It never really hit me until about8:40 AM when we were in my office again I was saying goodbye and explaining that I have some work I need to get to now, that he grabbed my hand and said, "I'll pray for you and you pray for me." Then, without me having a chance to properly react to his proposal, he began to pray for me. To thank God for his pastor 'who cares about him' and 'whom he doesn't know what he'd do without.'

God broke me as Jeremy left today. His hygiene is not something to brag about. He can't sit still or carry an adult conversation for more than 3 minutes. But Jeremy is loved by God and he lives it. The truth is, he probably wouldn't understand what he did for me today but I'm going to thank him anyway.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

living on.

2005-10-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Since I graduated from college and parked my truck in the adult world it has been tougher to find something to write about. All the things that were so profound to me before... seem distant and beyond me now. I used to enjoy writing about junk that only I care about but now that I'm doing something with my life that is different from those who might read me...I feel this pressure to write something that others may care about too.

I like to read but I haven't read anything that interested me in a long time. I'm married and its not too bad reading the marriage/sex books every once in awhile but its not about knowledge...its all about practice. So they get kinda old.

You'de never know you're a northener until you move to the south. It seems like everything that we (my wife & I) do different makes us stick out as big fat yankees. They have their special soda that does taste pretty good, but I think most sodas taste about the same. They have their own way of talking... and, of course, way of cooking (BBQ).

I really like them better than midwestern gawkers though. for one thing, I never fealt like I could meet one person in Indiana/Illinois who loved where they live (even if its where they were born and grew up). They speak of other places as vacations they don't need. Their is no idolization of california or city lifestyle. They're not hicks, they just like it here and aren't whiners either. Everyone I met at IWU fealt like they had to give me their "reasons why I should not live in the midwest" speech or, the ever popular "why did you come out to Indiana" speech. (this paragraph is a rash generalization).

oh well. I finally blogged again.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

i like different.

2005-09-10T21:24:00.000-07:00

I was desencitized to my over abundance of resources when I started living in the mid west. I grew up my entire life in a west coast city, then moved to go to school in Indiana and forgot some things.

First off, there are more than just white people in the world. Can I say this without it sounding bad? probably not. I love being around mexicans again. Cubans...and in most cases being the only one of the two whites in an area (usually am with my wife). I think back to experiences with race at my christain liberal arts school and remember how the 100 minorites (out of 2k students) were so unique that they often used their minority status to be clever and funny. Stuff that I laughed at every time. You know...making jokes about their culture that we whites people laugh at without understanding. I'll stop before someone reads this that doesn't know me and thinks I'm a some kind of multi racial clan member or something. But seriously, my favorite part of yesterday was going down to balboa park and eating at my fav mexican place (El Fandango). The place is awesome...good food, seating outside, gas lamps, and a live mariachi band that came over and played for our table a couple times.

Secondly, there are a lot of bums here. The weather is livable outside the entire year, its too dry for misquitoes, and with all the fairs and festivals people without homes flock to this part of the country. Well, seeing is realizing what I have (things I've earned and been given). I think about the food that wasn't eaten in my college cafeteria every day and wonder how many people are hungry every night outside on the street. The slpop that I complained about paying 7 dollars for would have been eaten without complaints by the woman I saw outside of walgreens. I don't wish to say that I'm thankful for street peole...but I wish every american had to wake up in the morning and see someone sleeping in the alley behind their house or walk out of the grocery store and see two people going through the trash to find cans. its reality. I gave a guy a twix bar yesterday that I bought to sneek into a movie later, but seeing him made me feel like not going to a movie anymore.

Priceless

2005-08-05T17:54:00.000-07:00

Getting married: August 20th
Moving to NC: August 28th
Starting my new job: September 1st
as they say it where I'm going: "hat sit ya'll!"

Not much time to think lately.
Well..not much time to think and remember it enough to type it.

baseball

2005-07-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately Not too much but this more than I had been able to do before. It’s tough to make time to sit down and reflect these days. I’m still in the midst of the ever-busy job search, wedding planning, and getting Nelson to stop calling me about his car.

But I had a thought about what it means to be a Christian. What does it take. I guess Donald Miller would tell us it is all about relationship and my fiancé’s church’s bulletin has a great 5 step program to find him. But what is a simple or even complex way of understanding and communicating the depth and lines of Christian vs. Non-Christian?

My mind sort of wandered to the game of baseball. Not because I like the sport or even illegal steroids, but because it’s a simple game that every man woman, and child can relate to in one way or another. That should be the way Christianity is looked at. Its not a different language like cricket or monopoly but simple and beautiful.

Baseball is also full of all kinds of different, yet true followers. You got old men who talk about the old days and swear that their grandsons are gonna go pro some day. You see the face painted, beer bonged, twenty-somethings who seem to always have the seats right where the foul balls land. There are the innocent kids who bring their gloves to every game no matter where they’re sitting and even the couples who bring a sense of newness or disgust to those around them.

You got all kinds of people that love every bit of the game.

So…what does it take to be considered a true baseball lover? You need a glove? Maybe. But that’s obviously not all.
You need to be on a team? No. it helps though.
Be good at it. Nope. Go to a lot of games? Nah.
Be able to hit home runs? Catch fly balls? Or chew tobacco? No.

I thought about this for awhile. There are plenty of ways to be a true baseball fan or player without any of those things listed above. So what does it take?

Here’s what I came up with. If a true baseball lover was forced to transfer to a new High School and that High school did not have a baseball team…he/she would start one. They would teach people how to play and together make it happen. An older fan would not let his kids grow up without knowing how great the game is and how much it has meant to him/her. These people would have passion. They’re love for the game would make them not want to live without it. Not want its flame to extinguish. Not want people important to them to go through life without the chance of knowing about it.

Is this semi cheesy trying to compare it to what it takes to be a Christian? I believe God is calling his people to devote themselves to him and to love him enough to be proud of him in dark places.

God wants me to miss and yearn for him when I haven’t been around in awhile. He desires a pure and holy passion. A real passion.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

Weeds

2005-06-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

This summer has been one of church visits (I'm trying to find a job), reading, weddings (yeah, it’s really sick), and landscaping parts of my parents property.

The other day I was weed eating an area, right beside the house, where my mom had planted flowers only a year before. You see, my mom's dad is an expert gardener in his old age and my mom and dad had the grand scheme of buying and plating flowers when my grandpa came to visit. It also made the yard look pretty nice.

But, truth is, a year later there is no sign of any flowers and I am weed whacking over the area. My mind begins to wander as I'm doing this and think about how one never has to be any good at gardening to grow weeds. In fact, you don't have to do anything to get them. If some guy were to try and be all prideful about his beautiful garden of weeds I think we would all have to hit him with his hoe and laugh at him. Then after he wakes up we could tell him about how it takes no talent to grow weeds and say we're sorry for hitting him with hs hoe. Anyways, it seems that weeds just spring up without any help from us, whether we're in want of them or not.

And then my thoughts began to shift to the idea of how easy it is to sin. Like we are soil that is naturally seeded to sin and grow weeds. Hmmm. At this moment I stopped to think that I was pretty profound that that if I was sitting in a restaurant with a famous evangelical preacher he/she would think I was profound too. But that was a childish moment because it is a very simple concept and not all that profound.

The human race (man) is a broken society because of sin and our depravity seems to make it real easy for us to not want to get rid of it. Our depravity also makes us want to point out our neighbor’s overgrown weed piles to make ours look more pleasant.

Whatever. That was all I thought. I continued to work and my thoughts strayed back to star wars and candy apples. You know...normal stuff.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

live and learn

2005-06-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

Over time I have come to learn and realize that the bible is pretty dang true. Many can find, create, and/or point out holes that would make it seem irrational or stupid to believe but...I'm fine with that (to an extent). I don't think it matters or should matter to me if anyone believes the bible is false or 'a load of crap.' The bible is truth and I live by it, how can I expect anyone who does not believce the bible as truth to live by it?

Now, I do care about those who don't believe, but not to the extent of having it damage my own faith. Is this an issue many of us deal with? Shunning others for the sake of building our own belief system...instead of caring deeply about people who are lost as we once were? I'm glad my family and a close friend cared about me when I was lost and not believing in God.

We really need to care about the world full of people who are going to hell. We are all wretches saved by grace. Stop building ministries that are only geared towards people who watch TBN and calling it discipleship...call it what it really is...non caring and scared christians who don't care if the rest of the world goes to hell as long as they are safe in their own belief sytem.

Stop being safe and start caring. I never said I was any good at it but I'm trying.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

Elimichurch

2005-04-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

I must begin by saying that I do not look down on anyone who is not familiar with late night dating show Elimidate. It’s one of the last dating shows left from the boom that occurred three years ago that brought us such wonderfully televised reality shows, dating games, and live ‘cat fights.” It is, in my opinion, the sleaziest one out there, but that’s all up to the show’s editors, etc. The gist of the show is one guy or girl is single (obviously) and is set up on one long and unrealistic date in order to find his “true love” or just someone he can be on TV with for a day. But here’s the catch, he/she begins the date with 4 dates and after each round is supposed to eliminate the one he/she is less pleased with. The results are the epitome of why Dr. Dobson warns us of Satan living in our TV sets (or something like that) and why most church kids were only aloud to watch McGee & me tapes and PG movies until they were driving. The contestants, right from the start, begin tearing each other down in order to win the prize. Ladies attack the others’ looks, guys nit pick everything the other guys do, and the cameras capture it all. Every word, every tear…every rejection. All this is done so that in the end…that one lucky contestant can narrow down the field to find their “true date.”

Here’s what is going on my head. What if that was how we picked what church we went to or our pastor? What if the show was called Elimichurch/Elimipastor? Maybe something like this...?

Show Commentator:
Johnny seeker has been looking for a church home ever since he graduated college 2 years ago. He’s had a pretty steady church for awhile but got bored and realized their weren’t enough ministries for his age going on and left in search of one that fit him better. Today he hopes to find that lucky church and boy does he have options.

Pastor #1 is Phil the funny guy pastor
He has all the cool college talk down and knows the how to “get down with Jesus style.” He pastors a growing church plant outside of Santa Cruz, CA and playing sports, watching sports, and bleaching his hair as a sport. Love and acceptance are big parts of his ‘postmodern ministry.’

Pastor #2 is Harry the hymn thumper pastor (a.k.a. The Reverand)
He pastors a church in Bibleland, Connecticut and this guy knows church. His dad was a pastor, his mom a missionary, and his brother used to work at the local Christian bookstore. Harry likes to be called Reverend and can usually be found writing his ‘altar filling’ sermons or reprimanding a youth pastor that keeps letting kids throw water balloons in the sanctuary. He often brags about how he has his denomination’s entire handbook/discipline memorized just in case all the copies are lost in a fire or natural disaster.

Pastor #3 is Laurie the liberal everything pastor
If you were a sinner at that church, she’s got a way of reading the bible here that will make you ok again. Whether you live gay/straight, drink Pepsi or coke, drive Ford or Chevy, or have an abortion right before coming into church…you’re ok by her. She leads a large church in NY that pattern their core values after ‘God’s love for all his creation.’ She says that you can know God and can find community within the body of Christ…at her church. Laurie spends her free time writing negative, yet insightful responses to every article on Keithdrury.com.

Then the show begins and the contestant (Johnny the seeker) asks them questions, complains about how other churches/pastors have ripped him off in the past, and proceeds to listen as each one of the pastors/churches tell how they are different and better. Then the pastors/churches would begin to fight. One would point out the other’s ways of leaving true orthodoxy. Another would get hounded for misinterpreting scripture and leading people to hell or something in those words. Maybe another would claim they are the only true church and the others are not biblical at all. One of them would probably get attacked for being a boring preacher or for not being aware of the cool new ways to minister to our emerging culture.

What if this was how it was?
What if finding a church was like narrowing down a couple ‘under-qualified dates?’
What if churches all fought over people?

What if we were honest with ourselves?
Does the church need daters or lovers?

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

tolerating sin

2005-04-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about what it means to be loving of a sinner or of someone who holds a belief or lifestyle contrary to your own. In this case, as a devoted follower of Christ, I can easily use the issue of homosexuality but I won't...its too easy to get off course when involving a hot topic like that.

Let's say you meet a girl who lives a pretty loose social life. Hmmm. Nice girl, very friendly, has made some mistakes, doesn't dress or act like "church people," but is at church and you befriend her. You've read the scriptures about loving thy neighbor and evangelism. You've grown up hearing about how we love the sinner but hate the sin, etc. All that crap aside...

How do you make clear that you disagree with her lifestyle while also saying, "I love you for what God created you to be, his child." Because the more I think about it, I realize it seems to be this ‘big trump card answer’ that only would works or makes sense to other Christians. Tell me if this sounds right:

Suzy Sinner: Hey Johnny I went out and…blah blah blah…last night. It was cool. You should come along sometime.

Johnny Christian: Um, I’m busy with bible study. Sorry.

Suzy Sinner: You go to bible study every night. How come you never hang out with me outside of church? We are friends right?

Johnny Christian: Yeah. We’re friends all right.

Suzy Sinner: What’s the matter? I don’t understand. Am I not cool enough for ya (sarcasm)?!?

Johnny Christian: Well, in your case. I love the sinner, but hate the sin. I think you do a lot of things that are wrong…blah blah blah.

Back to reality. This may have been the right thing for Johnny Christian to say at this time, but was it the best thing to do? Should he have done this:

Suzy Sinner: Hey Johnny I went out and…blah blah blah…last night. It was cool. You should come along sometime.

Johnny Christian: Ya know Suzy…I’m not really into that stuff. I know you are, but its not my thing and I’d rather hang out with you somewhere else. You’re cool, that’s not my stye though (said really smooth, maybe with a little wink afterwards).

Suzy Sinner: That’s cool. See ya at church on Sunday.

Johnny Christian: Bye Suzy.

It seems to me that we run the risk of either (1) condoning the sin by not speaking up and ignore it in the name of love or (2) we condemn the sinner in hopes that they will, all of the sudden, choose us over the sin because it makes so much sense to us. Are there solutions to this? Yes. Are there formulas? I would say no.

But Jesus sure had it figured out. He ate with prostitutes and even let one touch his feet. But many have likened the image of God to the cheap picture of a longhaired hippie looking guy with a big smile and a thumbs up T-shirt that says, “Jesus is my Homeboy.” What a load of crap I say. Jesus is our Savior who died to bring life and relationship. He was a revolutionary, not a cheap icon for Christian pop culture to make money off of.

Ok. I went off subject a bit.

How do you love the sinner without condoning the sin?
How do you hate the sin while loving the sinner?
Is there an answer besides: JESUS.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

Three decisions

2005-04-04T14:34:00.001-07:00

I had a long and meaningful conversation with a guy today. One of the things he told was some advice he received from his dad. See what you think…

“There are three important decisions you will make in your life. And it’s best to only have to make them once…whom will you serve? God or Satan? Who will you marry? And lastly, what calling will you answer?"

I agree, but wonder if we can answer several callings in life. That it is part of one’s journey to pursue one thing now, in preparation for a higher calling later. But that makes life seem so confusing and gives all the college age slackers another way to justify their “not doing anything with their lives.” Not to be too blunt or anything.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

XXX

2005-04-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

I was wondering something. An issue that makes little Sunday-Schoolers and even most freshman here at school shivers and make little "ooh" sounds. It’s the issue of sex before marriage and the whole virginity/purity battle. Even now the mention of sex has probably intrigued those who are used to reading my blog about social issues, love, value and other softy stuff. Well. This one's about SEX. I want opinions and attempts at answers.

As my best friend has said to some of her fellow health majors, "sex is real, why fear it."

Here's what I'm sitting on the tracks about...
I'm a 23-year-old man. I am about to graduate from a four-year university in 3 weeks, get a job in less than a month, and be married in August. More importantly, I love my fiancé and she loves me. We are committed to each other forever and that's no joke. In fact, if something happened to not allow us get married and only date. We would be content dating each other for the rest of our lives. In fact, I am in contact with many engaged guys who are in the same situation.

That said. There is a lot of temptation and "emotional pull" towards having sex when a relation enters a time of real love and commitment. Speaking bluntly...it is so much of a struggle that most couples have to change their schedules around so that they won’t risk being alone together and have any opportunity to “slip.”

Now before you think I’m an idiot…let me get to the point. Me and my wonderful fiancé’ are not, in any way, considering stealing each other’s virginity until we are married…so stop penciling us into you prayer list. We both grew up in the church and will remain in the church until we die…we understand and are willing to hold to what we have been taught about sex before marriage. I trust the motives of the old dead church fathers who first began enforcing this rule, even if I never met them, I can understand the principle behind it.

What reasons can you give me for us to not ‘go all the way,’ besides social rejection?” Besides the fact that the church would shun us, what reasons can you give us or others in our situations, for not having sex? We’re in love; we’re committed to each other until death (I can’t prove that in writing but let’s pretend that you believe me), and are at a point in our relationship that all couples get to when they are drawn to move onto the next level of intimacy. We’ve grown over the last two years emotionally, spiritually, and now it seems so natural to grow in physical intimacy.

So you’ve got the facts, the question, and some pretty personal thoughts and, dare I say, ‘borderline gossip.’ What do you got for me? Any opinions? Thoughts? 5-point Calvinist proof texts?

For those of you going into ministry…what are you going to tell a couple of kids who come to you in the same situation? Do you think a couple of people who didn’t grow up in the church are really going to listen to you tell them, “There’s no verses on that subject, but church tradition has saved sex for the marriage bed.” If I were them, I would laugh at you. And you would be offended.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

What else matters?

2005-03-20T23:22:00.000-08:00

I was recently very annoyed by an acquaintance of mine. You see, I am Armenian. To those who don't know what that means...I envy you. All it is, the side of the theological fence opposite Calvinism. For reasons I choose and I believe, I choose Armenianism. That said...I was annoyed by this acquaintance.

I enjoy the rich and artful words and music of Derek Webb. He's an open Calvinist and what my not-so-friendly acquaintance would like to call a 5-point Calvinist. Now, many might think the reasons I was upset are due to our difference in theological beliefs. I admit, I was taking back a bit because of pure indifference. However, the catalyst at which set me off was due to this untactful boy’s way of thinking that because a recording artist and fellow brother in Christ’s theology differed from mine of five pints that I would recant my favor and respect of his music and disregard all that Derek Webb has ever said and done.

Here’s my thing. Whether you are Calvinist, Armenian, catholic of confused. Do you stand up for truth? Do you believe that Jesus Christ’s blood is has the power to wash away all sin?
This is a short blog and one to comment or question. I hold to my Armenian beliefs and love them. But I d not condemn those who differ from me as long as they hold to the core truths of scriptures and Christian living. For all I care…you can take my denomination and my church discipline. But I will still hold to loving God and neighbor. Tell me what else matters more? I'm fishing for comments here. Inform me and point me in the "right" direction if you can.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

its all about value

2005-03-09T22:34:00.000-08:00

If you know me or have ever talked to me you've probably heard me say something to the equivalent of, "it's all about value." I don't know how long ago it was that I realized the power we, as living, breathing, talking, walking human beings have...to bring or take value away from other people who are just like us. When, you see, in reality, we have nothing better or worse than anyone else.

I love the artists who actually get it (to some extent). Metallica has a great song called, King Nothing. It depicts our nothingness and pursuit of becoming, what we define as, greater. I love William Golding's book, Lord of the Flies, where a plane crash leaves a group of boys stranded on a deserted island with shelter, food, water, and no parents. Without adult supervision the bigger of the boys begins to boss the others around and build up power through fear and build their own government until they have become like ruthless killers and fear no one and rule everyone. But then, the book ends with a grand picture of the bigger boys chasing down the last of those who stand in their way of complete domination, onto the beach. But then they see them, several very non-little-boyish United States naval officers standing in sheer confusion at how the boys are carrying on. The boys then retreat back to their state of dependence and weakness as the little boys they truly are and always have been.

You see, I believe that is how it is for all of us who sit on this earth and pursue to live life. Many of us live in a nation that boasts "all men are equal," but is it possible to ever really live with that belief? I’m not speaking of ‘race’ right now, although it could be associated, if you want. I look at us as little children whose daddy left us at home while he and mom went on a trip or to work or whatever. They left us some money for pizza, a list of chores, and another reminder from mom to brush our teeth and not watch TV until all of our math homework is done.

At first it seems to be no problem, we help each other with homework, share the money, and regularly call mom just so she knows that things are going fine and that we miss her. But sooner or later little brother starts crying and nobody wants to help him. "Let him get his own food and bath," says the older sister. Soon older brother realizes that he doesn't have to share the money for pizza anymore and, "nobody can do anything about it," he says with the surest confidence. Soon older brother and sister have taken over the house and rewritten the code of "what is to be done." Little brother and sister are to do big bro and sis's homework for them, along with their own chores. Nothing is decided without big brother’s approval.

Now, if I were to go it too much detail I would have to choke myself because I’m totally ripping off Golding's analogy with modern household dynamics. One day...the parents are going to return home and big brother and sister, all high and mighty, will realize their child-ness and their need for their parents. They will know the wrong in what they have done and be restored to their true value and stature. Now, the little ones, those who were reduced to slaves, will be rewarded for their diligence and restored to the same level of true value of childlike need. And that's it. In the parent's eyes there are no (or there are not supposed to be!) favorites, or even different levels of love. Due to the scarcity of parents of who truly love and value their children, these days, I must now completely ditch this illustrious story and bring it back to real life.

As human beings, we so often look for value in the world and the affairs of men. How high can I jump? How far can he throw? How much money can I make? How beautiful is she? How much better can I be than them?

You know what I’m talking about…The pursuit of success and power…Justification by comparison. We’ve been doing this since grammar school; if I am stronger I will put down the weaker in order to show them how strong I am. If I have money, I put down the poor; if I’m pretty I will let the ugly know just how pretty I am.

How much of what you do is because it was your idea? And…
How much of what you do is to please or impress others?

Ready for what I believe? I believe there are no such things as fashionable and unfashionable, rich and poor, pretty and ugly, smart and dumb…there is only one side! Grace.

I believe that all people were created equal, by God and were created with the same amount of value and potential as everyone else.

I believe that we live in a world where ‘what he says, she says’ has become detrimental to who I am and…that’s not right.

I believe that the only line in the sand that could ever separate me from Marilyn Manson, Michael Jackson, or even you is the decision to follow Christ and pursue a life turned over to him.

Hmmm. That’s sort of it. Our value comes from up above.
God does not love us more because we are pretty, American, republican, or listen to Christian radio stations. God loves us all equal and that is all that matters.

I'm done writing now... Jared Bell

2005-03-02T21:24:00.000-08:00

Spring break is here.
It’s only a week, but its going to be great.
Don’t expect me to write much.
Going to Elmira, NY with my best friend Pete.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

Going the wrong way dummy!

2005-02-28T14:45:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I went and saw half of my immediate family and a few extras who had gathered about an hour away from my school. I was excited to go because I hadn't seen most of them since Christmas or before. So I gathered my CDs, filled up the tank, go directions-twice and started out on the open road of Indiana.

Upon arrival I was greeted by my wonderful grandparents, mysteriously joyful aunt, my crazy mom, and, sitting over by the TV, I managed to get an unanticipated thumbs up from my, younger by 2 years, brother. He's on spring break this week and had my mom pick him up at school on her way down. We don't get along very well, but love each other all the same. Can anybody relate?!? We love like brothers but fight like guests on the "Jerry Springer show." He knows it; I know it. My mom hates it. My dad laughs and usually lets us handle it ourselves.

Anyways, we watched a movie, talked about life, played some piano, blah blah, blah…I'm on the open road again at 9 PM. I love my family but it’s not much to write about now is it?

I'm cruising, about 9:30 PM, through this small town where the highway, I'm using, turns and of course, I miss it. Maybe it was the Burlap song I was listing to or that I'm not fit to drive at night or whatever, but I missed the turn and immediately pulled into the nearest lot and turned back on the road to hunt after my highway turn lane. As I neared the turn, I noticed that there were no signs facing towards me to show that this was my turn, in fact the street light didn't even face my direction? I slowed down and eased through the intersection and then it hit me, "this is a one-way street!" Oops, i put on my flashers and went to the side of the road and waited for the right time to jump out so no one would notice me, but it was way too late for that. It seems that the whole town had been watching me and as soon as I pulled over, with my flashers still on, 5 little girls, who were not those little cute girls that go to your church, started banging on my truck and yelling, "you're going the wrong way." I looked back to see all the little girls' parents staring at them with pride at what they were doing. I wasn't embarrassed but thought this was kind of silly and didn’t think they were helping, but I wanted to allow them the satisfaction of knowing that, I now am quite sure ‘I am going the wrong way.’

Just as I rolled down the window to say this a man in an old-school Honda minivan drove by and yelled, "You're going the wrong way dummy!" In my head all I could think was, "what a crazy old man who probably has no where to go."

But after I managed to crawl out of that town without getting my picture in the paper I realized something. Nothing to profound to you, I wouldn't think. But its what i needed to hear. God loves that guy who shouted at me. He may not go to church or volunteer with underprivileged kids or anything...but God loves him and wants him to know that. I didn't have any "real" interaction with the guy, but I sure could use a better view of him and that value that he holds. He isn't valuable because of how smart his random comments are, what town he lives in, or even how often he goes to church or keeps from sinning. I have people in my life that i cast off as only a “crazy old man who probably has nowhere to go," just like I did tonight.

Our value is found in the grace and potential that Christ created us with.
Christ does not see us for what we do, say, or love but by the beauty that we were created to have.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell