Desperation Unlimited

EGO

2007-10-05T00:42:00.000-07:00

Ego is the main reason for all ma worries and loneliness. it generates an incapability in me which restricts me from being happy and active. i tend to take simple things very seriously and tats the root cause of all the problems.
i guess its hard time i realize that life is not winning or stayin on the top always its enjoying the things u do and taking it sporty.

Devilish Red

2007-02-07T02:13:00.000-08:00

Red....i used to love you...
Red you used to smoothen my eyes
You used to bring me hope
You brought joy....

Red i am afraid...
Afraid of you...
I see you as blood..
Blood from my bleeding soul...

Purity of Love

2007-01-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

This is a debateable topic still i have all the rights to express my views on it.....
In a standard framework it is generally considered that a gal is supposed to remain loyal to her boy friend and vice versa. But my experiences tell me that this may not be true in many of the cases.

There are instances when we can see that a girl takes a share of the Hard Earned money of her boyfriend who is swetting abroad and spends it for her lover.

Again a girls speaks all sweet to her bf when she is hugging her lover

Can any one tell me where is PURITY in this

The same gal covers up everything and sets all ready "Clean" when her boy friend is in town for vaccation

WHERE IS PURITY IN THIS
or
HAVE SOMEONE REDEFINED PURITY ?????

Devil Dance

2007-01-09T09:45:00.000-08:00

She is beautiful
Her eyes full of love
Her words had magic
Thatv took me for a ride

She showed me dreams
She gave me hopes
She showed me new meanings
To my life i used to hate

She blindfolded me in love
I drowned in her love
She kissed me
She hugged me

Now when i wake up from the dream
Breaking her spells
I see the devil in her
Laughing at me...

She killed my soul
She oozed my love
She is happy
When she saw me dying

I cried for my life
She acted deaf
I ran for my life
She pulled me back

Now she is dancing
Dancing on my grave
Its her wedding dance
Right above my grave

My soul weeps
Weeps in hurt
Weeps in insult
Laughing at me....

Coming Back To Life

2007-01-07T21:52:00.000-08:00

I'm on blog after a long time....the break was a rather conscious one which was basically intended to keep me in the search of my most stable state...even though not much enjoyed throughout love can be called one of my stable states but the state is an extremely short lived
This Vacation was highly interesting and gave me lot of insights into the usual topic "Love" i realized a lot of things.

The first of all will be that Love binds hearts and is Devinne (Maybe) but the strong hold on any relation is social taboos and cultural bindings. Caste creed and all sort of bullshit still play an active role in love.
Loneliness can sprout love between two individuals (Provided they are in a similar state of mind) But the most important factor for this love to sustain is not love it is the external factors.
There can be an ideal person in love but this is a near approximation there is never a perfect match and also in terming an individual as Perfect or Ideal Match you should also take into consideration the social and economic situation you and the person are currently in
Love Comes like a breeze and smoothness your life and leaves like a hurricane...
Never ever lose yourself in love tat it uproots you and throws you into nowhere

Platonic Love

2007-01-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes
At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love, which from its origin was that of a chaste but passionate love, based not on uninterest but virtuous restraint of sexual desire. In its original Platonic form, this love was meant to bring the lovers closer to wisdom and the Platonic Form of Beauty. It is described in depth in Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife; in the Symposium, the method by which love takes one to the form of beauty and wisdom is detailed.

Boredom- Clinical

2006-08-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

Boredom is an unpleasant state of mind in which one interprets one's environment as dull, tedious, and lacking stimuli. There is an inherent hopelessness in boredom; people will expend considerable effort to prevent or remedy it, yet in many circumstances it is accepted as an inevitable suffering to be endured. A common way to escape boredom is through creative thoughts or daydreaming.

Time often seems to move more slowly to someone who experiences boredom; this results from the way in which the human mind measures the passage of time, combined with the infrequency of events perceived as notable.

A typical teenager's complaint is that there is 'nothing to do'; this statement can have a number of economic and social causes. Younger teens cannot drive, but in many communities are unable to get anywhere without a car possibly due to lack of public transportation. It may also mean that their desired sources of entertainment are too expensive. It could also be a symptom of learned helplessness, possibly related to boredom experienced at school.

Far from being a minor annoyance, boredom can have major negative impacts on people. Perhaps more importantly, boredom is often a symptom of deeper problems, such as depression, ineffective teaching, or ineffective management in a workplace

Absurd is not enough to define this....

2006-07-29T04:29:00.000-07:00

This absurd scene of a Coca Cola bottel chiller is from (inside) an educational institution which is just 3 hrs away from Palakkad....

Some Grave Mistakes Committed by me

2006-06-06T06:18:00.000-07:00

Joined Engineering in spite of my liking for Life Sciences, in pursuit of a lucrative career.
Wasted my life in the engineering college doing nothing worthwhile
My desire to grow, without knowing where to
Lack of focus on the kind of job that will fit me or satisfy me
Joined MBA, without knowing what it is and what I want out of it
Even here not being able to choose a career path I chose the one which is most money-spinning, without even knowing whether I will survive there or not.

The list is end less and I can’t see any way out….

Job Satisfaction ?

To be able to sleep peacefully after coming from office

How do I enjoy ?

Most difficult question to answer coz I couldn’t figure that out till date

PS: I do not expect comments like " It will be allright " this is a very much objective post and this is not to drive any sentiments to me......

Can someone tell me where I will fit in ? What kinda job should I take ?

SOLITUDE

2006-06-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

This solitude is creeping inside my soul. This loneliness of a sailor in his fleet going nowhere is inexplicable. These few days of loneliness has forced me to think about myself. Loneliness is not alien to me neither was it hostile but I have lost the capability of taming that beast. She was my most trusted companion but the rather busy life has taken away the skill and replaced it with dependency. I had only few friends and I was happy with that because of the depths of these friendships, but to be faithful I always had a leniency towards the opposite sex. This predilection for the opp sex was not predominant during the Pre-degree day’s coz I was happy with the kind of friends I had and I had kept myself busy with preparation for Entrance test.

This fondness has contributed a lot to my life both as boon and bane. Some of my best friends were from the other side and lot of femme fatale has put me in trouble. But I forgot to add friends to the roll coz I couldn’t get people of my wavelength and I never bothered to change mine or accommodate slight variations. This attitude of mine left me with just a hand full of friends. Life moves really fast and they also had to move, girls got married! Guys left town! I do not regret this restriction on entry but I feel it was not adequate.

Other companions were tobacco and alcohol but as the medical test proves me unfit to keep the companionship alive I had to ditch them, they never complained and were always at my beck and call. The lonely days in the busy life of Bangalore were enriched by the smoke filled pubs and bars which kept me engaged. Now even they are not there in my life…..

This Loneliness is embracing me…..
She is fleeting through my nerves….

The Most Outspoken Enlightened Man of the centuary

2006-06-04T09:58:00.000-07:00

Constrained Optimisation

2006-06-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

Every individual prefers to live a happy and peaceful life. We expect our days to be bright ! Does this happen often ? Any way for me i do not think so. Human beings can never maximise happiness, human life is completely constrained. Man is born in chains and will die in chains ! The process of human life is just a change in chains, addition or deletion of the same.
Any activity a person intending to do will go through a lot of screening process within his mind and the predominent factor affecting the above is the openion of others ! So how much weightage is given for these ? Like wise millions of constraints

Is Love a constraint ???? Just this quiestion would have attracted lot of frowns i am aware of that. But i feel this way.Love is a constraint....and it continues to be one throughout his life. This chain is so strong that its number increases with age of the individual. This is the same constraint which prevents or inhibits the thoughts of a person's pursuit for eternal freedome. So isn't love a constraint ??

Love comes as Parents, Sibblings, Girl/Boy friends, Wife/Husband, Children, Grandchildren...

when is man free ?? when does he do things of his own wish ?? Being the most evolved species is he ever free to do things he wish ? Is maximisation of happiness possible ? No its optimisation , Constrained Optimisation

Tips to Screw Your Life....

2006-05-10T01:13:00.000-07:00

1. Fight for the Supressed society (Where the supressed will back stab you)
2. Trying to understand and help the HELPLESS (Where the helpless will gain things being in the shaddow and u get screwed)
3. Try to point out the mistakes of the system
4. Pair up with wrong ppl (who will dich u later)
5. Try to correct the director of a self financing college
6.Try to make things better when u r not asked to do so
7. Fight against unfair treatment in a self financing college
8. Be with a person who is least understanding and sensible
9. Over estimate yourself
10. Expect selfless help from your friends

Chains

2006-05-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

MAN Born in chains

Will Live in Chains

Will Die in chains

The Marriage

2006-05-03T02:52:00.000-07:00

Normally i talk about my experience or the outbreaks of my little heart . This time i am getting into an area where i have no practical experience This is an anticipatory bail for those who will ask me how can u say these how du u know?

I have no empirical evidence to this post but this is conclusions of my observations and third party experiences.

Marriage is an institutional arrangement of this society. The basic insticts of human beings were made to focus on one individual and then the individual was forced to confine himself to that focused object and this setup was termed Family. This family is responsible for everything human beings do and the way he behave.

Individuals will have personal goals and aspired achievements which is supposed to have a synergic confluence with the partner's after marriage. Does this happen in real life ? We humans have brain and memmory which forces us to recall think and compare . Those aspects of life which was better before marriage will be compared to those after marriage and individual starts rating the partner based on these. The system of family will sustain only in the ancient environment where the girl doesn't have any dreams or any known standards to compare. The human race has advanced like mad did this family set up change ? Did it get updated ? No so this system is handicaped when it comes to handling the fast and furious lifestyle of the 21st centuary.

Still present day girls falls into the sytem forgoe their dreams and burries their memories and succeeds in living as the OBEDIENT AND FAITHFUL WIVES. who are pure in the body and dream about the next life where she get to live the life she dreamed of.

The Guys part will follow in my next posting...

Heights of Customer Service

2006-04-08T08:37:00.000-07:00

For the first time in my life i visited a treassuary yesterday and i saw the heights of customer service. If the full form of PSC is Public Service Commission and if thats how ppl get into this office the name should be changed to Public Screwing Commission coz.

The systems there are obsolete. The Cash reciept was on one corner and then from there the challan was taken to other corner of the office which took 5 min for the peon to carry. I was instructed to wait for the callan counter foil to come. I waited for 53 mins and after utter frustration i approached the peon and he said the challan has not reached this section. I informed him tat the person who was standing behind me in the queue left 45 mins back. He went and checked again ( Another 10 mis) he came back and replied the challan was not there. Then i went back to the cash counter and he checked the floor "my challan for 75,000 Rs was lying on the floor" the peon was happy to see that it was not his mistake and he gave me the counter foil after 5 mins.

World Class service at your FOOT STEPS !!!!!

India SHINE !!! and this kerala is again set for an ellection !!!!

Things which i could never do to be happy

2006-03-24T05:19:00.000-08:00

1) Endeavor to change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. The mind may drag you to think about negativity and difficulties. Don't let it. Look at the good and positive side of every situation.

2) Think of solutions, not problems.

3) Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.

4) Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.

5) Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.

6) Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things.

7) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't.
Sometimes you may begin the day with the desire to accomplish several objectives. At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven't been able to do all of those things.

Look at what you have done, not at what you have not been able to do. You may have accomplished a lot during the day, and yet you let yourself become frustrated, because of some small things that you did not accomplish. You have spent all day successfully carrying out many plans, and instead of feeling happy and satisfied, you look at what was not accomplished and feel unhappy. It is unfair toward yourself.

8) Each day do something good for yourself. It can be something small, such buying a book, eating something you love, watching you favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just having a stroll on the beach.

9) Each day do at least one act to make others happy. This can be a kind word, helping your colleagues, stopping your car at the crossroad to let people cross, giving your seat in a bus to someone else, or giving a small present to someone you love. The possibilities are infinite. When you make someone happy, you become happy, and then people try to make you happy.

10) Always expect happiness.

11) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.

12) Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember, happiness is contagious.

13) Do your best to stay detached, when things do not proceed as intended and desired. Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions. Detachment is not indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad and staying balanced. Detachment has much to do with inner peace, and inner peace is conductive to happiness.

14) Smile more often.

The Health Concern

2006-03-22T07:08:00.000-08:00

Casabianca

2006-03-15T14:35:00.000-08:00

The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled;
The flame that lit the battle's wreck
Shone round him o'er the dead.

Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
As born to rule the storm;
A creature of heroic blood,
A proud, though child-like form.

The flames rolled on–he would not go
Without his Father's word;
That father, faint in death below,
His voice no longer heard.

He called aloud–'say, Father, say
If yet my task is done?
'He knew not that the chieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.

'Speak, father!' once again he cried,
'If I may yet be gone!
'And but the booming shots replied,
And fast the flames rolled on.

Upon his brow he felt their breath,
And in his waving hair,
And looked from that lone post of death
In still yet brave despair.

And shouted but once more aloud,
'My father! must I stay?
'While o'er him fast, through sail and shroud,
The wreathing fires made way.

They wrapt the ship in splendour wild,
They caught the flag on high,
And streamed above the gallant child,
Like banners in the sky.

There came a burst of thunder sound–
The boy–oh! where was he?
Ask of the winds that far around
With fragments strewed the sea!–

With mast, and helm, and pennon fair,
That well had borne their part–
But the noblest thing which perished there
Was that young faithful heart.

Felicia Hemans (1793 - 1835)

Road Not Taken

2006-03-15T14:31:00.000-08:00

I kinda love this poem

The Road LOST

2006-03-15T14:19:00.000-08:00

The Choices hard to make......
The mistakes never will forget....

The road splitted.....
I took the wrong one.....

Oh mylord....gimme a chance....
Gimme a chance to take the other one....

I'm not greedy...
I just realised how stupid i was....
To have taken this road....

It was dark
It was forest
Forest so deep
That light was scarce

I had to make the choice
I had to make it in dark

I made a mistake !!!
I regret makin it !!!

Che

2006-03-15T14:11:00.000-08:00

The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall.

Che Guevara

Frustration

2006-03-15T13:54:00.000-08:00

Boredome of life and the confusions of making choices are frustrating my soul to the core. The educational system kills creativity and promotes slavery. From kindergarten the child is taught how to be a slave but earlier the Post Graduate Courses were an excemption but with the introduction of the so called B-Schools in Kerala this is also now teaching slavery.

Freedome is just like moon now, u know its there and u feel like having it but u will never get it. The system supports only those who are ready to lick the" SO CALLED PROFESSOR'S ASS" but the dignity and self respect is not letting me do that. Bad virtues in this centuary. You revolt u die. The cost of the system is so high (In Lakhs) that u can not dump the system any time u want even if u see Cocroach in the Canteen food, or u get food poisoning 2 times in a week system demands Discipline. And discipline means "SILENCE"

My dear movie makers this INDIA is never gona make it . U make inspiring movies like rang de basanthi and make money , ppl will watch it and say kewl man we need to react thats all no body will react. Even if u react u will be the only person to do so. Coz u r not taught to react thee educational sytem taught u to be Disciplined.

Life ?????

2006-02-28T04:31:00.000-08:00

1. Define Life ?
A) Life is a big piece of BULL SHIT the more u take it seriously and put ur soul into it the more it will stink

2. Define Love ?
A) The process invented by god to keep guys under control. very little of it means u will crave for more too much of it means u get bugged but it never comes in the perfect mix. so the defenition can be Love is that which comes to your life like a breeze of drizzle and leave ur life like a cyclone or thunderstorm destroying your whole life

3) Define Happiness ?
A) A state of mind u can acheve only when u break all the bonds attached to u

Internal Marks the Curse

2006-02-24T08:25:00.000-08:00

From a student’s point of view internal marks are a curse, a tool used by the professors to gain control and put undue influence on students. This may be a good concept but many a times this concept is misused.

For this we have the typical Cochin University example. But the story doesn’t end there this is just a tip of the iceberg. I can tell you a couple of incidents which I personally know.

The CUSAT incident came into light and it became an issue only because there was a political union to support the students there is a sense of unity. But what is the case of other hundreds of institutions where there is no union? Where there is not even a PTA? yes, I am talking about Kerala the GOD’S OWN COUNTRY. This issue is most prominent in Management institutes or the so called B-schools.

I will share some truth about a B-School in Malabar, here the educational system is still under experimentation. This was started last year by a group of busy people. This essentially makes the Director the supreme authority. The internal marks are awarded based on “presentation skills” which means it is a subjective evaluation, with absolutely zero transparency. But the worst part is that the selection for presentation is only by picking of lots if u r a bit unlucky u will end up with just one presentation and others with 3 or 4 and good grades. This was pointed out to the director and the reply meant "BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT". Another incident is that there was a trip organized this was a big drama done just to take few snaps of the so called trip to be published in the add to canvas students here also participation was not voluntary it was forced upon students by threats of internal marks story is not over but I have to save myself.

But no student will raise his hand no student will complain because there is no unity. There is no student body to support the students. There is terror! They will suffer but they will never complain even when the facilities promised by taking more than 2.5 Lakhs are not given, because they need internal marks. Students are stressed to the core, one test one interview two assignments and one presentation in one day. This whole system will create only mentally handicapped new generation. But still nobody will protest