The Thinking Mother

Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death Book Review by ChristineMM

2009-11-20T10:12:00.000-05:00

Title: Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death: What Children Need to Know
Author: Linda Goldman
Publication: Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2009
Genre: nonfiction
ISBN: 9781849058506 (paperback)
Full Retail Price: $14.95

Author Linda Goldman is a counselor that has years of experience in grief counseling. The author states this one book is to be used by both counselors with their clients as well as by parents with their own children. And therein is the biggest fault I have with this book. It tries to be too much to too many people in too few words. It works best as is for counselors. For parents, this book should be expanded.

I was interested in reading this book because I’m a mother of two children (now 12 and 9). I have found very little information available to help me with advice and ideas for how to help my children cope with the grief associated with long-term illness and death of loved ones. In the last four years, I’ve had to use my common sense in helping my children grieve with the loss of four close relatives and some others.

Another important thing to know about me relevant to my opinion of the book, is I’ve received training for counselors for past volunteer work I did in a technique called Active Listening. I recognize this technique is what the author uses although she never discusses it or teaches the basics to the layperson-parent reader. Something about this technique in general should have been included in the book.

This book is basically a question and answer list organized by chapters. A child asks a question and the author provided an answer. A person untrained in Active Listening may not ‘get’ why the author chose the responses the way she did. These responses seem perfect for counselors to use but some are too distant and cold or too short if said by a parent!

Two of the most glaring topics of concern to parents in the book are the questions about God and Heaven (each topic has one chapter). Some of the answers the author gives would go against some people’s religious views. Why the author did not just tell parents to insert their view on that topic rather than to say some of what is said surprised me.

The chapter on Heaven was troublesome. One question on page 31 involves the child saying they believe the dead person is with God in Heaven. The response is a bit condescending and doesn’t affirm what the child feels and believes, which actually goes against the Active Listening technique. She says “It might help to feel better if you think God is taking care of Sam.” First of all a parent should discuss their own worldview and present it as either their belief or as a fact they believe in a more direct manner.

Regarding God and prayer, I found it offensive that the reply to a question about blaming God for the death allowed the child to indeed blame God. Never in the main section of the book was solstice suggested to be found in prayer or trusting in God’s decision that it was time for the person to pass, that God must have a reason but we humans don’t know his reasons. Instead of using prayer to find peace, this therapist has various art and craft type projects that they suggest the child do. On page 103 in Appendix 1, it is suggested that the child “perform a ritual for your person. You can light a candle, plant a flower, blow bubbles, say a prayer, or send off a balloon”. That is the only time when prayer is mentioned in the book, which seems a shame.

An example of something that I found creepy and against the beliefs of many religions was the suggestion that the dead person may actually be a butterfly or a bird or a breeze that they encounter in nature (pg. 34 and 37-38). Why is it right for a counselor to suggest that a human is reincarnated into a force of nature, an insect or a bird but not to suggest that God and Heaven is good? If my child asked me the question about a butterfly being the dead person (reincarnated) I’d have a very different answer for my child, the same answer applies to my current Christian worldview and also applied to my former Atheist worldview.

Perhaps one thing I learned from this book is if I ever send my kids to a counselor I’ll be sure to pick one who shares the same religious worldview as our family!

As a Hospice nurse told me, grieving doesn’t start when the person dies. Grieving starts when we find out the person is dying. So to never touch upon the dying process seems ridiculous, another major fault I have with this book. There were several questions about sudden death (murder, car accidents, and pedestrian accidents). However there were NO questions applicable to a person who was sick and dying for a period of time.

I’ll tell you what’s scary for a child, that they know a relative is getting good medical care for a disease but they wind up dying anyway. Why was that not discussed in the book? How can a parent tell a child to trust their medical providers if they couldn’t heal their loved ones? Or if the therapies they get make them suffer in pain or cause them to be sick (chemotherapy).

Another missing topic was an elderly person who slowly becomes frail and dies ‘of old age’ (as two of our relatives did). The simplest and most easily accepted thing for a child to understand was not in the book: that death is actually peaceful for the person who was in pain and suffering in the end of their life due to their illness or due to being extremely frail from old age. How that question was absent is beyond my comprehension, especially when so many had scenarios of sudden death.

My favorite part of the book was the use of active listening, a technique I like and the urging to be honest with children and to tell them the facts, not to lie or try to hide things. The best information is in the ‘concluding thought’ which is just one paragraph at the end of each chapter—what a shame that the best nuggets of information are so limited.

The book is too short. It is 112 pages in total with only 73 pages of questions. The page size is small, the font is large and there is plenty of white space on the page.

More information would have been of use to parents such as the effects of grieving on children after the death occurs. This is contained on two pages of bullet points in Appendix 2 but honestly deserves one or multiple chapters not just a list.

I’m rating this book 3 stars = It’s Okay although I was close to rating it 2 stars = I Don’t Like It. I wanted to love the book due to the fact that this is a niche topic with not enough books or materials available for parents at this time. I just feel it falls short for parents; it is best for counselors.

Disclosure: I received an uncorrected proof galley edition of this book from the Amazon Vine product review program for the purpose of reviewing it on the Amazon.com website. I am not allowed to resell or give away this away. I have not received any payment to write that review or to publish it on my blog.

Note: This is a shortened version of my original book review. I had a hard time cutting the word count down!

Homeschool Challenges Change As Our Children Grow Older

2009-11-19T11:25:00.002-05:00

Today I got sidetracked from my plans and wound up surfing homeschool blogs that were new to me, blogs that were nominated for various categories of blog awards for the Homeschool Blog Awards.

There are so many blogs of families with little kids! Okay, okay, so when I started this blog I was one of them. Back then my kids were aged 4 and 7. These families seem so happy, almost gleeful over the smallest things.

In the local homeschool community it seems that homeschooling starts to taper off in middle school. I mean, formerly happy homeschooling families start enrolling their kids into school, for various reasons. Some enter their children in the upper elementary grades. Yes, people are always starting off schooling and then pull their children out, I know that. But things are just different homeschooling older kids. Some of these changes make families change their mind about homeschooling. It usually has to do with academics getting harder and kids not wanting to learn or strife between parent and child about doing the lessons or in some cases the kids begging for more social time with kids their age.

How is my life different than these families with much younger kids?

Here are a few ways in which we're different now than the way our family used to be:

1. There is more of an urgency to get certain academic work accomplished. I have less than six years until my older child starts college. In the beginning the road before college seemed so far away. In fifth grade the switch flipped from "we have tons of time to homeschool so enjoy the day, we'll get to it someday" to "there are X number of years left before we're done".

2. Some of the academic work that must be done if preparing for college admissions is not all fun and games to teach. Sometimes work just has to be done and even the most creative thinking does not provide me with a fun way to study the subject.

3. At some point in fifth and sixth grade the number of things that suddenly are not learned simply and easily increases. Learning starts to take more effort. Effort is not always met with joy and excitement. Thus the homeschool mom sometimes has to play the part of the strict school teacher.

4. Puberty begins and the hormones affect the homeschooling as well as the family relationships. Developmental changes occur. Kids are no longer in that stage of living to please mom. Kids become more independent minded. They start to question authority and push limits more. Homeschool lessons can be in the mix of what the child and parent battle over. Parents of schooled kids often struggle with kids over homework and other family life. Now imagine puberty combined with the entire education of the child not just homework completion deadlines.

5. The children have different social needs. They want more time with friends. In my area kids are very busy. Sports, especially travel sports for elementary and middle grade kids, can take up a lot of time. This makes friends unavailable sometimes. At times our schedule doesn't jive with their friend's schedules.

6. It gets hard to choose what to do and what not to do. My boys have so far chosen to do Scouting. This is a big commitment. The shift from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts in the middle of grade five is a big change. For example often there are two weekends a month with Scout activities including a 36 hour or so camping trip. Sometimes it is my kids who are too busy to see their friends.

7. My kids want more learning experiences with other kids. We try to do some of these with homeschooled friends of theirs. However often if behaving in the class and being quiet et cetera they don't get enough social time with those friends. Thus just doing classes together is often not enough time with them to cultivate the friendship. Homeschooling families often will not allow social time with friends on weekends, saying it is family time or time to see the father (who works days during the week). Only allowing social time for friends Monday-Friday afternoon is hard if the days are packed with homeschool academics, sports and/or Scouts.

8. My kids and other kids we know like to do sleep-over's. This seems to give enough social time with their (not homeschooled) friends (who allow social time on weekends and use summers for social time). However this interrupts the family's schedule. The weekend winds up conforming around the kids. For example if we are trying to get a house project done or do a bunch of errands but we have a guest for 36 hours or so this doesn't always work out unless the kids can play unsupervised while we do the house project. Another challenge is they usually stay up way too late, or even just talk in the dark, so then they are tired the next day. I don't have a simple solution other than try to only do sleepovers about once every eight weeks or so. If my kids had it their way they'd have a sleepover every week. (Starting in fifth grade I myself spend every single weekend with my best friend and sometimes also with our other friends as a bigger group.)

9. There are many good outside classes and events that my children can take now that they are older. Around here many classes don't start until age 6. It is hard to choose the best of the best. Often we overbook the kids as it is hard to say no to a great opportunity. Yet running around from appointment to appointment can make for a harried lifestyle. I thought homeschooling was supposed to prevent a frenzied family life just by default. Come to find out to have calm and open schedules requires a constant concerted effort.

Time is spent addressing learning disabilities. This can be visits to professionals or home therapies.

Time is spent dealing with medical things and most commonly, orthodontic braces on the kid's teeth! This can mean up to four visits a month for a family. This takes time and energy to fit in between everything else!

10. If too much is done to outsource classes or do field trips it is hard to get the other academic work done at home. Yet when outsourcing basic courses, I'm reminded of how inefficient it is. In other words we can do more work at home than if I pay for a course and drive the kids to take it with a teacher. I save money and time by teaching some course material at home. The kids have more custom tailored learning experiences with curriculums and books chosen to suit them best. Yet it sometimes is not easy to teach them at home OR sometimes I'm not as disciplined about actually doing the lessons so it can be tempting to just pay a teacher or join a homeschool co-op and say the child was taught that subject at the class by the teacher. Sometimes the amount of content covered in a class is not sufficient or doesn't result in as much learning as we hoped it would though.

For example one friend asked me to give feedback on her homeschool plans. There was nothing for the topic of science. She said, "I'm counting that nature class as our science." My reply was, "But that class you use is a total of eight hours of instruction for September to January 1. Eight hours of science instruction for half of the academic year is not really equivalent to what the public schools are teaching! And a nature class is not covering other topics like magnets and biology and chemistry and physics and many other things!". This mother had wanted her homeschool content to exceed the academics at public school, that was one of her main reasons to homeschool in the first place, yet the home education she was crafting seemed inferior for the subject of science.

11. The homeschooling community is a bit incestuous in my area. We see lots of the same people. Not everyone gets along (sometimes the kids and sometimes the mothers). We sometimes get on each other's nerves especially if we see a lot of each other and if any problems occurred. Some people are quick to forgive and some hold grudges for a long time (both kids and the mothers).

Since things we do are basically all optional I'm trying to keep my kids happy by avoiding activities with certain other kids such as keeping away from a kid with an impulse control problem who has been hitting and hurting other kids. Who would willingly put their child, the victim of a bully, with a bully?

Another example is avoiding kids who wreck a learning experience due to bad behavior. Why should I pay for a class that will be disrupted yet again by one or more certain kids who have stressed the teacher out in the past (that the teacher was not able to handle). My kids get frustrated having good behavior for themselves in a paid class when they'd like to tell off the other kid. If the kids were in school they'd have no choice but to deal with whomever was in their classes. But with options with homeschoolers it is sometimes better to just avoid certain people and have a happier life. This is a pain in the neck to deal with. It involves things like finding out that a certain class is available but keeping it a secret from certain families, or calling my friends to see if I can talk them into putting their good kids into the class with my kids. It can be time consuming and exhausting at the same time.

12. Homeschooling allows us to be close to our kids. This means for example, my kids tell me stories of what goes on. Sometimes this upsets me (but I have to just let it go or get over it) and other times the situation is unacceptable. Also due to homeschooling I'm often around the other kids and I have witnessed things firsthand. If my kids were in school or on a school bus I'd have no clue of these things if my kids didn't tell me of them. Some of my friends with kids in school hear stories long after they are over or from other people not their own kids, so it cannot be assumed that schooled kids tell their parents everything, even things like being bullied verbally or physically.

13. Lastly we can custom create group classes and field trips for homeschoolers. Yet I have learned the hard way that this can be very stressful. It is not as simple as setting a date and time. This can wind up being political and some problems with people can cause so much stress that sleep is lost or friendships are fractured and may end altogether. In other cases, homeschooling parents used to customized things for their kids can be very demanding of the organizer in an attempt to customize it best for their child or even for other family members. It is impossible to customize a class for ten different kids, for example but sometimes every family wants things changed to do this and not do that and to change the time to suit the nap of their younger child, so forth and so on. They make demands like change the time to earlier or later or better for their preference for a lunch time or shorter class or longer class or longer schedule or shorter or want it cheaper or study things more deeply and on and on.

I have seen this happen so many times I hardly ever state an opinion to the organizers, I'm just happy they are doing the work, not me! I'll take sub-optimal things just out of gratitude that I'm not the one dealing with it.

Blogging About Homeschooling

The last thing is that on this homeschooling journey I have had some crazy things happen to me. Some make good stories but I can't share them. Even though some of you may benefit from learning from my mistakes or from issues I've seen happen, I can't share them or I'd risk alienating myself from everyone. Some things are passing issues, something really upset me but we're over it, we've moved on, and to make it permanent by blogging it would possibly do more harm than good.

So homeschooling older kids is sometimes not all peaches and cream. Sometimes things are a bit rougher around the edges or the days have more problems and worries than we want. I'm sometimes just trying to get through the real life situations and have no time or energy to put to writing about them let alone publishing them on this blog. I'm too busy having moved on to the next challenge to think about or write about last week's issue, even though it would have made for interesting reading.

So even I am winding up to be one of those homeschool moms of older kids who suddenly become quieter and retreat a bit back from being a super enthusiastic cheerleader for homeschooling to being more focused on my family's daily life. Yes, even I'm starting to keep my mouth shut except when making desperate calls to my closest homeschool mom confidants to vent or ask them for sage advice.

The Thinking Mother Nominated for a Blog Award

2009-11-19T10:12:00.002-05:00

Today I stumbled across the fact that my blog, The Thinking Mother, has been nominated for a blog award:

Homeschool Blog Awards
Category: Best Current Events, Opinions or Political Blog

There are 13 blogs nominated for this category.

Voting is open, here is the category I'm nominated for.

If you feel mine is the best on the list take a couple of second to vote. It’s anonymous, requires no registration and voting is very simple to do. Just click and vote.

Carnival of Homeschooling Week 203 Published

2009-11-19T10:01:00.002-05:00

The Carnival of Homeschooling week 203 was published this week at A Pondering Heart.

This Carnival provides a lot of homeschool-related reading. Take a look!

If you have a blog or a website and write about homeschooling I encourage you to consider submitting an entry to this weekly blog Carnival. For information on how to make a submission, see here.

Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: Carnival of Homeschooling, homeschooling, homeschooling information, blog carnival, homeschooling support.

Carnival of Homeschooling Week 202 Published

2009-11-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

The Carnival of Homeschooling week 202 was published this week at Janice Campbell’s blog.

This Carnival provides a lot of homeschool-related reading. Take a look!

If you have a blog or a website and write about homeschooling I encourage you to consider submitting an entry to this weekly blog Carnival. For information on how to make a submission, see here.

Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: Carnival of Homeschooling, homeschooling, homeschooling information, blog carnival, homeschooling support.

Carnival of Homeschooling Week 201 Published

2009-11-19T09:57:00.002-05:00

The Carnival of Homeschooling week 201 was published this week at The Informed Parent.

This Carnival provides a lot of homeschool-related reading. Take a look!

If you have a blog or a website and write about homeschooling I encourage you to consider submitting an entry to this weekly blog Carnival. For information on how to make a submission, see here.

Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: Carnival of Homeschooling, homeschooling, homeschooling information, blog carnival, homeschooling support.

Blustery

2009-11-18T16:40:00.000-05:00

It was cold and blustery!

Photo taken 11/22/2008 by ChristineMM at Rock Harbor, Orleans, Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

Great Movie Teachers About Racial Inequality and American Medicine

2009-11-16T21:44:00.001-05:00

The other day while my son and I were sick I decided we'd watch "Something the Lord Made", a movie which I stumbled across on our DVR's list of free movies. I recall hearing about the movie but honestly didn't know much about it.

The long story short is my nine year old was busy doing something so he missed the first half, overhearing it only. My twelve year old and I were engrossed in the movie. I had to pause it a few times to discuss the topics as this topic of Civil Rights and racial inequality in America has not yet been in my children's homeschool lesson plans. The topic has been discussed here and there as it pertained to our real lives and current events. However it was clear to me that my twelve year old hadn't previously "gotten it".

The movie is absolutely fantastic. It starts in the 1930s. An African-American man has graduated from high school and has worked with his father for seven years as a carpenter in order to save money to attend college and hopefully, medical school. The bank crashes and he lost all his money. He had been hired as a janitor for a doctor doing research and winds up being his lab assistant. They work together to develop the first open heart surgery. He never does make it to medical school. His learning is all self-taught and under an apprenticeship. Despite the laws he is basically practicing medicine (in a lab on animals) without a license. He struggled financially to make ends meet on his meager salary limited partially due to the fact that he is black and is classified as janitor level staff despite doing the same and more work than the white doctor. Later the Civil Rights Act is passed. Not to be missed is the fact that this man did what he loved despite not becoming rich and even making less money than if he had some higher paying day job to pay the bills.

We discussed a lot about this movie. Animal rights, experimenting on animals, and medical ethics and experimental surgeries. We discussed working at one's passion even when it is not making a person rich. We of course talked about racial inequality in America and the Civil Rights Act. We also discussed the priest's objection to the idea of heart surgery and the medical profession's first fear of attempting it. We talked about college education in America, barriers to accessing it, and how learning can take place outside of formal schooling but real work experience doesn't always allow a person to do a job legitimately (for full pay). We discussed people taking credit for the work of others and also about working as partners and as a team.

My twelve year old begged to watch the movie again but with the whole family. He wants my husband to see it and to talk about it as a family. As a family we gathered tonight to watch it with my husband. This time I'm making my nine year old see the whole thing.

In future homeschool history lessons we will study this time period and we'll explore these topics more deeply.

I think this movie is a great introduction for kids to the topic, so long as they can handle the topics. There are some very mild surgical scenes which are nothing compared to medical reality shows seen on cable TV today. There are a few profanities here and there, one or two times the F word is used. There is a dramtic scene when we are not sure if the baby girl will survive the first open heart surgery performed on a human.

I think this is a great example of a fine movie that can be used for educational purposes as a homeschooling lesson as well as an excellent conversation starter.

Lovely but Problematic

2009-11-15T17:35:00.000-05:00

Japanese Barberry, Berberis thunbergii. Invasive plant in Connecticut, many planted as ornamental shrubs in yards and they've spread to the woods. More information here. The foliage turns orange and red in autumn and even in November some still retain their foliage.

Today our family took a nature walk for some fresh air. I had fun also taking photos.

Photo taken 11/15/09 by ChristineMM in Fairfield County, Connecticut.

Free-Range Kids Book Review by ChristineMM

2009-11-14T20:07:00.001-05:00

Title: Free-Range Kids: Giving our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry

Author: Lenore Skenazy

Genre: Nonfiction, parenting

Publication: Jossey-Bass, a Wiley Imprint, 2009

ISBN: 9780470471944 (hardcover)

Full retail price: $24.95

My Rating: 5 stars out of 5: “I Love It”

Summary Statement: Humor, Facts and Common Sense Combined

When I began my parenting journey I wanted to do all the right things, to keep my child safe and healthy. It wasn’t until a few years down the road that I started realizing that by following all that advice my children’s lives were very different than my own childhood. I started recalling how I spent my youth, with much unstructured and unsupervised play outdoors with neighbor kids and realized my kids were missing out. I also realized that I’d not be the person I am today if my mother supervised all my play time, followed me around and monitored all my conversations with my friends. When asking around to friends and even neighbors, everyone echoed back the same advice and recommendations. They weren’t ready to go “free-range” yet. The neighbors wouldn’t allow their kids to play outdoors unsupervised, even with a group of kids. I was back at square one.

Yet kids growing up indoors with constant parental or adult supervision and more screen time than “outside in the real world” time seemed just wrong. I didn’t want my boys to be helpless wimps into their preteen and teen years. I wasn’t interested in raising children, I wanted to raise adults. I started looking for someone who said these things, and had a hard time finding any. Well, Lenore Skenazy is that voice.

Skenazy is a journalist and a syndicated columnist but she became famous around the globe when her story hit the mainstream news. She was the mother who let her nine year old son ride a New York City subway alone and was labeled the “world’s worst mother”. Internet discussion boards were afire with the debate about “would you let your child do this” and asking if this was neglectful or dangerous.

This book is a wonderful summary of some parenting commandments that Skenazy hopes will help today’s parents give their children a childhood like the one we had. Fourteen chapters outline fourteen commandments. A humorous discussion of the topics and some common sense advice is given. The fact is the danger of what may go wrong is not usually what does happen. The media, parenting experts and other well meaning people hype up the fear and scare parents stiff.

What saves this book from being condescending, patronizing or boring is the humor throughout the book. Parents are not made to be stupid for having followed the expert’s advice, for example. Skenazy compares what is typical in America to how parenting is in other countries and it seems we Americans must be crazy with fear and worry. In fact, we may be out of our minds. Skenazy urges us to stop trying to control everything, because the fact is, we just can’t. In fact, failure and making mistakes is good for children.

There are 33 pages in the “Safe or Not” chapter that examine a topic with studies to prove that the thing is not as dangerous as we think it is. Statistics are given. is research and information to back up Skenazy’s encouragement to lighten up, loosen up and to relax.

The conclusion chapter is excellent. This chapter I’ve written notes in the margins and circled quotes. This is the section that made me feel like I was sitting down with a wise mom-friend.

“Childhood is supposed to be about discovering the world, not being held captive. It’s not about having the world pointed out to you by a DVD or a video game or by your mom as you drive by. “See, honey? That’s called a ‘forest’. Can you spell forest?”

We want our children to have a childhood that’s magical and enriched, but I’ll be that your best childhood memories involve something you were thrilled to do by yourself. These are childhood’s magic words: “I did it myself!” (page 193)

To my knowledge this is the only book on the market discussing this topic. There are books that talk about the problems that over-indulgence creates and some about raising boys that asks parents to give their boys more responsibility and more freedom. But Lenore Skenazy is the only one talking about how both genders, starting at birth. She says what we’re told to do just goes too far and how the media over-exaggerates the dangers. If you don’t believe the validity of what she says, there are thirteen pages of source material used to back up the information. There are three pages of books, movies and websites in support of the free-range parenting lifestyle.

This book should be read by all parents of young children. The focus starts in the baby years so the sooner a new parent can read it, the better. The book seems to cover kids through about twelve years old. The book does not focus on raising teenagers and issues regarding independence and freedom in the tumultuous teen years when the stakes and the situations are a bit different (i.e. looser apron strings when kids may start experimenting with tobacco, drugs, and alcohol).

I found this book enjoyable to read. It is an easy, fast read filled with humor.

I highly recommend reading it for a breath of fresh air.

This would make a great gift for the overly-worried mother you know. If not as a baby shower gift, how about presenting it as a gift at a child’s first birthday?

I rate this book 5 stars = “I Love It”.

Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the publisher and agreed to write a review of it for publication on my blog. I received no money to write this review.

The Grapevine Won

2009-11-14T15:21:00.001-05:00

Photo taken by ChristineMM on 11/14/09 in my yard, in Faifield County, Connecticut. Not digitally altered. copyright ChristineMM, 2009

Some Thoughts About Homeschooling, Unschooling and Gaps

2009-11-14T13:13:00.000-05:00

I have some thoughts that have been swirling around in my head for years that I want to write into a cohesive essay that wraps it all up nicely and makes sense. Since I keep procrastinating writing it, it hasn't happened yet. So today I decided to post something short and just state my ponderings. I fear if I don't just write this in a rough form and publish it, it will be one of those ever-being-edited pieces.

I used to fear that saying some of this might offend some people, may anger them or may bring criticism and stress to me. However, I'm not certain that is the case.

I invite your thoughts about this topic. I await your feedback in the comments.

----

A fallacy of American public education is that the students get a thorough (and deep) education of what they need to know before adulthood. It seems that just about everyone realizes that there are gaps or that some material jumps from here to there, covers things too shallowly or fails to connect the dots. However the same people who know this tell themselves and others that the education system is a very good one. Not many parents think their school system is sub-par. Everyone thinks their schools are "one of the best". Yet when I ask some parents what their schools have taught their kids that year, they usually don't know, or can list just a couple of topics.

The same people who think the public school has gaps fear that homeschoolers will have gaps. The most troubling are the teachers, school administrators and the legislators and others with government jobs. I think they want to hold homeschoolers to a higher standard then the public schools. Most would be happier if homeschooled kids were enrolled into public school so they could "ensure" that a high quality education was being given, while out of the other side of their mouth they state the inadequacies of that same system. They are happy to accept gaps, shallow teaching "a mile wide and an inch deep" and "teaching to the test" yet don't want this to happen to homeschoolers. I find this double-standard odd.

The only sense I can make of it is that more trust is put in the "expert" professional teachers who have training to teach, so if gaps or an imperfect education occurs at their hands, it is acceptable to them. This makes no sense to me. Some of them consider it dangerous to risk that a homeschool parent-teacher has full control of the child's home education and that the child may have gaps. Often their concerns are based on imagined outcomes of imagined homeschooled students that exist "out there" rather than looking at real information about individual children.

I saw examples of proof of this mindset at a public hearing in Connecticut. Legislators heard stories from homeschooled students and their parents about what their home education consisted of and they grilled them about their experiences. Some replied that while that person's individual story is wonderful, surely they are the exception not the norm. Even when hearing story after story, some people still clung to a fear about vague homeschoolers that must exist "out there". I've come to believe this is in their imagination only. I bet that the few cases of real educational neglect are rare. And the 'just average' or failing students in public school are real statistics known to the schools and the government.

Few homeschoolers want to have gaps in their children's education. Gaps may occur due to pure oversight, ignorance on the parent's part. Sometimes a gap may occur because the parent didn't place much stock in teaching that topic. Or maybe they just run out of time. Or they think they have covered a topic deeply enough but someone else begs to differ.

Most homeschoolers and unschoolers say they want their children to learn how to learn. Some say they want their children to enjoy learning. Some say they want their children to have a curious mind. Most probably want their children to know how to research things they want and need to know about (extending this practice into adulthood ideally).

Some homeschoolers and unschoolers know the joy that can happen with deep learning on a topic. If this is in line with the child's own curiosity and if this is learner-driven then it seems like seventh heaven. This is the stuff that unschoolers dream about. Some homeschoolers pull their children back a bit. A parent recently shared a story about wanting to do Ancient History in one year but the entire year could have been only about Ancient Egypt due to her child's passion. After spending many months on it she pulled the child back and moved on with the homeschool lessons to other topics in history, leaving additional Egypt studies to the spare time. I had a very similar experience with my older son in his Kindergarten and First Grade year.

I have heard stories from unschoolers about some odd or obscure topics their children wanted to learn about and were allowed to spend tons of time doing. These have been things like teaching themselves Japanese and fully researching anime and manga at first but sometimes winding up more interested in Japanese culture and history in the end (way more than any public high school teaches). A teen I know has studied Japanese and is now learning Chinese and Hindi. Some of these homeschooled or unschooled kids may not be learning other topics that are typical for kids of that grade level compared to public school's scope and sequence. I have repeatedly heard a story of a local unschooled boy who spent years making origami and turned out just fine. Yet some who did this have gone on to attend good colleges and have good productive adult lives. How?

My latest theory is that a child with intense interests and deep curiosities does "learn how to learn". By being allowed to study what they want, to almost obsess on a topic, when this is internally driven, they teach themselves how to learn or have a little guidance from the parent on how to research or access information or opportunities. Sometimes in pursuit of this information or by seeking to do real work in the community these children and teenagers interact with subject matter experts in niche fields. In this way they interact with adults on a level that most middle school or high school students do not do at that age. If able to mentor or apprentice under adults, they learn specialized information as well as important social skills and indeed learn "how the real world works" as it relates to that field. A child who loves history and works at a living history museum with the public will learn a lot about mainstream Americans in their interactions with the visitors, for example!

Taking it to the next level, my theory about unschoolers in particular is that while they may have begun learning about topic X at a later age (reading, math, writing composition or something else typically taught in public school), but they do learn some of it, however much must be learned to get them to the place they want to be. That could be college or it could be some other life path. Some of what they may have struggled to learn in their homeschool or unschooling experience if the parent forced it on them was avoided. All negativity surrounding coercion to learn that topic was avoided. This allowed a more positive 'mental state' (for lack of a better descriptor) which may help the child's continued pursuit of learning in a positive way.

Unschoolers and homeschoolers who have a gap in a certain topic may never need that information. Depending on what the gap is, some things are good to know, some might be helpful to know, but some things may never be used in a practical way in one's adult life. Some topics may help a person better understand something else but are not always recognized as being problematic. For example if a student is weak on history or parts of history they may not realize that something happening in the US Government today is a violation of the US Constitution so they may not question the government's authority to do this new thing that some people oppose. Lacking information about the Crusades, a person may not realize that some people in today's world are still fighting that war, and that they themselves are seen as the enemy just for residing in a Christian nation.

Again I don't think any parents set out to have gaps intentionally.

In order to have time and energy to learn deeply and intensely about subjects, whether they are a more mainstream topic or something obscure, strange, or just go so deep as to be accused of being a 'nerd' or 'geek' by some people, it is a fair bet that the person will have gaps in some other area. There is only so much time in the day. When trying to live a normal life with family, extended family, having friends, doing Scouts and/or sports, and just living life, there is just so much time. So the thing is, I think gaps are inevitable.

The only way to try to avoid gaps is to force everything to be learned in a shallow manner. This brings us to the discussion about who decided what should be taught, how deeply and at what age or grade? There are many opinions of this. The more rigorous academic plans almost seem impossible to do comprehensively. Classical home education comes to mind.

Homeschooling parents sometimes find their children don't fit the mold of the ideal homeschooling method they chose for their children. Is it fair for me to push a classical home education focusing on a liberal arts education, heavy literature and an in-depth study of history on a son with a knack for science who desires to be an engineer? I have found that making time for special things like the FIRST LEGO League and the Science Olympiad with its bridge engineering competition got in the way of 'the basics". So what gives? Which thing should be focused on? Should we not build on our children's strengths, nurture their talents and use our homeschooling freedom to do such great educational experiences?

This brings me to unschoolers. The question of who is unschooling is problematic for me. An unschooler I know who wears the label proudly is doing heavy academics with curriculums, online classes and community college courses because the teen wants to work in computer science. Why does she get to use that label? Why is she welcomed with open arms into the unschooling community?

With my engineer wanna-be son, when I put a course in place for him to get him on track for college admissions for that major I have been told by others that I'm a "school at-homer" and a "traditional homeschooler" and that I'm doing "classical homeschooling". If we are going to be so strict with labels I don't think I'm living up to the classical homeschooling model enough and would have to hide for cover as an eclectic homeschooler.

When my three year old was teaching himself to read and wanted help at age four and begged for me to use "Alpha Phonics". An unschooler told me that because I was helping my child to read we were not unschooling. She also said that the age was too young for a child to read and that I may damage my son by letting him read, harming his eyes, specifically. What she must not understand is it is nearly impossible to stop a child from learning when they are learning things they want to learn.

I think what I'm doing is straddling the fence between unschooling and traditional schooling. I'm trying to give my kids a decent home education so they can function in society, such as being able to read, analyze what they read, have logical and critical thinking. I want a firm foundation in the three R's. Yet I want my kids to love learning, learn how to learn, and to have time to pursue their own interests (no matter how obscure or weird).

I want my kids to be able to pursue the path of their desire and if that includes college I need to explain to them the pathways, some take years. Rather than wait for my child at age 16 to teach himself what the path to an engineering degree is, I found out and told him. I'm structuring his home education in a way to pace out this learning to a reasonable and do-able, easier pace rather than a frantic scramble at the end. I'm trying to craft a unique education for my kids yet still meet the expectations of outside parties (colleges). I live in a state lenient about homeschool government monitoring--if it was tighter I'd have to deal with all that too.

If I am helping my son pursue his dream, am I not aiding him in unschooling? Only one of my friends said to me that she thinks I'm really an unschooler. Indeed that is the path I started out on when my kids were younger. I had read about unschooling and was greatly inspired to begin homeschooling by the most radical of unschoolers.

Some of the unschoolers I know are the most judgmental people I know in the homeschooling community. They like to pigeon-hole and label others, especially those they have decided are not in their circle. Some have told me they feel that certain other people in my local community are judgmental about them being unschoolers and they say they hate feeling judged. They say they want tolerance. Yet they judge the others and they are intolerant of the others. I honestly don't think they realize their hypocrisy.

This labeling and pigeon holing and casting out, excluding and including is all negative in my eyes. I wish it could all end. This is why I usually speak about homeschooling in a general way. When I say the word homeschool I mean everyone who is home educating, no matter what the method. I don’t' care how others homeschool, but would like their children to be functioning members of society as adults, not a burden on society. So whatever path they take, whatever they teach and why is up to them so long as they can function and so long as the children are not being neglected or harmed in any way in the process.

I like educational freedom. I want people to have choices. Yet those working toward a goal like college admissions for a certain degree have to straddle the fence between custom designing a life that includes taking full responsibility for the child's education with its myriad of options for different learning experiences and also fulfilling the expectations of others in the real world.

I find trying to straddle the fence very difficult. I have just two children with very different goals and learning abilities, different strengths and weaknesses. To have a customized experience for both is time consuming and takes a lot of energy. Past attempts to do the same work for both kids has not been good for either child so I don't know how larger families manage this to be honest. I believe in identifying weak areas and trying to boost them up. I believe in finding the strengths and talents and nurturing those too. I want my children to have their own interests and have time to pursue those. I want to cover the basics. I want my kids to do some unique things that schooled kids cannot do due to the limitations of the institutional schooling they attend.

It is hard to do all the basics in a thorough way plus have time for a child's own interests and then to do great extra stuff like have my children attend filmmaking classes, script and film a short movie with a team of kids. I want a harmonious home life with a laid back atmosphere, where home is a sanctuary from the nutty world outside our door. Yet trying to do all that I want lends itself to a more hectic, crazed life that I'm trying to avoid.

There is a lot of give and take with homeschooling. If we do this, we can't do that. This takes time, we don't have time for that. This thing costs a lot of money, we don't have money then to do that. Must this thing be done now, or can it wait until next year? But if the program doesn't have good attendance this year, maybe it won't be available next year. If we don't get in with the new FIRST LEGO League team now we will be shut out of that team next year. Is it necessary to do four things now or is choosing just two more reasonable? The poetry writing class is unique, but now we lost time on practicing writing a basic book report which seems to be the public school's obsession for years. My child practices drawing and is a master with collage but his spelling stinks, and the poetry writer teacher may be horrified to see my homeschooled child's spelling and wonder if that is a reflection on an overall sub-par homeschooling experience.

And that last thing is the kicker: the judgment. The judgment of outsiders that we have to contend with all the time. We are being judged by other homeschoolers in our local area, judged by our relative and neighbors, or the teachers we pay to teach some of our kid’s unique topics. We need encouragement while on this path so we'd all help the homeschooling cause if we stopped judging each other. And the biggest and most important judges are the ones who hold the gates to more important things in our children's future: the colleges and the employers. What they will think of our kids when judgment day comes is something that is on our mind for years beforehand, for some, even in the preschool-at-home years.

I'm not sure if I'll ever find the balance while straddling the fence. What's even harder is trying to find the balance when I know I'm being watched. Some days it feels like I'm under a magnifying glass. Every move my children and I make is being evaluated and judged by many people. Others often hold my kids to a higher standard for academics and also for their behavior. The judgment can be on a minute to minute basis, not based on a once a week test score, or a quarterly report card. Judgment can be on something years into the future, such as wondering which colleges wind up admitting our children.

To handle all the judgment, we homeschoolers need support and encourage each other. One way homeschooling parents can help other homeschooling parents is to reduce judgment and increase tolerance for the ways we choose to use our educational freedoms within our unique home-schools. If I promise to not assume that your child didn't know the answer to the question of which years the Renaissance was because they didn't raise their hand in the homeschool field trip to a museum will you promise not to think my twelve year old child is stupid due to his sloppy penmanship? Can we make that deal?

Now I've Got H1N1

2009-11-12T16:56:00.001-05:00

Am resting up. So cold I took a hot bath to get the chill out of my bones.

Went to the doctor. Am on an anti-viral Relenza.

Had a ridiculous encounter at the drug store when they told me they were out of stock and could I wait 26 hours before picking it up? I said no, sorry I need it right away so I'd take my prescription to another store to get it filled now. The clerk (through drive-through window as I didn't want to expose anyone else to it), then said, "Did you know you have a $50 co-payment if you buy this?". I replied, "The amount of the co-payment is irrelevent if I need the medication I have no choice but to pay whatever the amount is. Please give me my prescription back. Thank you."

We are doomed to get this virus. It is so contagious. The doctor told me children can be contagious up to seven days before the first treatment and 7-10 days after the last day of fever. Adults are contagious usually one day before first symptom and about 5 days after last fever day. All people taking anti-viral prescription medications remain contagious during the course of therapy. Few families will keep children home in quarantine for 14 days or so. Parents usually cannot live in quarantine that longer either, especially if multiple children get sick and the period of illness spans over time.

We must empower ourselves with information in order to get the best care and the right treatment.

If I'd done what that clerk said and waited another 26 hours to pick up my medication I would have missed the important window of treatment as outlined by the CDC and as explained to my by the doctor: that the best outcome is when anti-viral treatment is started as soon as possible and especially in the first 48 hours after the first symptom appeared.

I don't know whether the clerk was ignorant or pushing some corporate sales policy to request that the customers not take their prescription elsewhere. My point is if I'd not held my own and done what she said my health could have been further compromised. It is not her place to get in the way of what the doctor has prescribed. This same thing happened to me with an antibiotic I tried to obtain there a few months ago. Another medication for a wart, I was told, would require a special order and many day's wait.

I went to the nearest pharmacy which was the same chain. Even as I did so I was kicking myself as I should have given the sale to a competitor pharmacy.

I'm working on getting well.

My older son is improving greatly now that he is on Tamiflu.

I'm crossing my fingers that my nine year old son doesn't get it next although I'm starting to think it'll be a miracle if he doesn't.

For links to treatment plans recommended by the CDC refer to my post a few days ago about Homeschoolers and H1N1.

Stay well readers!

One Son Has H1N1

2009-11-11T10:26:00.000-05:00

In case you didn't see my tweet in my blog's sidebar yesterday my 12 year old son was diagnosed with H1N1, verified by culture. He's on Tamiflu plus the over-the-counter meds for cough and fever reducers.

I'm busy tending to him so my blogging may be light.

His first symptom was at bedtime on Sunday, sick all day Monday getting worse with each hour. Diagnosed Tuesday morning and Tamiflu began at noon. By evening it was apparent his symptoms were already subsiding. He woke up today fever-free. A wonderful sign.

I also taught myself canning this week and made one batch of jam. I have ripe fresh fruit that I'd like to preserve this week. Another reason that blogging may be light...

I'm hoping I also don't contract H1N1, and that my 9 year old doesn't get it either.

We're on quarantine here.

So that's what's happening in my family this week.

Learning About Eating Foraged Wild Edible Foods

2009-11-10T09:15:00.001-05:00

I've been teaching myself about foraging edible food from wild plants growing naturally in my area. I'm getting flack from almost everyone that I share this with. The concept is so bizarre to some people, even my husband. Too many people think the same exact food grown commercially and sold in a store is superior to one growing wild. What is bizarre is not the fact that I'm doing this but that they think that way.

Here is a great quote from Wildman Steve Brill that sums up my thoughts completely:

"You go to the supermarket and buy raspberries and you know the ones in the bottom of the carton are going to be moldy and rotten and the others will be big and beautiful looking but have almost no flavor,” Brill said. “They're grown on depleted soil and sprayed with insecticides, and the only reason they grow at all is because of all the artificial fertilizers that are used. Pick raspberries in the park and you're getting exercise, sunshine, contact with nature and much better-tasting fruit, and by picking the berries, you're stimulating the bush to grow. It's very bad for the bush to have the fruit just sitting there rotting on the branch. Mushrooms you buy in the store are grown on manure and sprayed with more chemicals to kill flies than all the other vegetables in the supermarket, and they taste like it.”

This tells a little about his own diet:

“Half my food comes from the wild,” Brill said. “It takes years to learn this on your own and there are only a handful of people in the whole country who have this kind of knowledge. It's just about only me for this area. It's not easy making a living at this, but it's getting better and better every year. People are becoming more ecologically aware. I get by between writing articles, selling sculptures and giving lectures and nutritional and herbal consultations.”

(The above quotes are from an article on Wildman Steve Brill's website that does not have a direct URL. The article is "Wild Man" from Chicago Tribune September 23, 1985 By Kenneth Clark linked from the 'my arrest' sidebar link of Steve Brill's website.)

The root of my interest in this was my maternal grandmother. Into her 90s she was still foraging wild edibles from the woods around her home in northern Maine. She kept the location of her fiddlehead source and her high bush cranberries a secret. In the last year of her life, at age 98, she passed this secret on to my mother who was going to miss her annual gift of canned fiddleheads. My grandmother's canned preserves and foods, some from her garden and others purchased from local farmers, were a staple in every family member's kitchen. She loved to supply us with her canned foods and preserves so when she became too frail to do all the work herself she paid her caregiver to do the canning while she watched and directed her every move.

My grandmother's High Bush Cranberry jelly (above)

I knew I had wild raspberries (wineberries) and wild blackberries right in my own yard and have been eating them for years, just fresh off the plant. I knew those were superior in taste to any that I'd ever purchased in a store.

The second impetus was that the homeschool group class that my sons take about nature and wilderness survival was teaching them to eat or use foraged (wildcrafted) materials. My boys began teaching me things they learned in class and I grew interested. Last fall my boys begged to make a dye out of pokeberries, a weed growing on the edge of our woods. We did make it and we dyed wool roving to use in felting craft projects. I felt a gateway was being opened.

You can't learn this quickly. It takes time because the plants have seasons and sometimes what I'm learning is out of sync with the Earth's cycle. Reading about a plant with a certain leaf does no good in November when the plant has lost its leaves and I have only bark or bare vines to observe. I'm learning about plants and trees then I look around for them, making mental notes about where they are so when they are in season next year I can forage them. Other times I'll see something that seems to be in season now and I go and research it immediately.

I'm finding this really fun to learn about. I really should be keeping a journal and possibly also making maps or detailed notes about where these plants and trees are located. My main focus is to forage from my own yard and woods and then my neighborhood.

One thing about this though is this is seasonal. Just like cultivated gardens, sometimes the harvest must be done in a short window, such as after one or two hard frosts but not too much later lest the berries spoil. Other things are in high demand by birds and squirrels. One source stated if one does not get to the hickory nuts quickly an entire tree's crop can be taken by the squirrels in one day! Timing is very important in some cases.

A fair amount of my information is from books. I am finding the Internet very helpful also. Sometimes a book will have good information about finding and using the food but the Internet can give more and better photos of what to look for. Other times a book will mention a plant's use but generous people on the Internet share numerous recipes. By reading blogs, I'm hearing detailed stories about foraging, tips, tricks and what to avoid that goes beyond the information in published books, such as the week that a certain berry is at its peak in coastal Massachusetts.

At this time my main focus is edible wild plants, eating for either pleasure (a jam that tastes good) or eating the food because it is superior in nutrition to similar store bought foods (i.e. a wild plant that is eaten in place of lettuce in a salad). I also love the frugal nature of getting food for free. Store bought nuts are very expensive, so why not eat the nuts from my own yard that are either rotting or are being consumed by the squirrels or deer? Hickory nuts are delicious, as are black walnuts, and the only reason they are not sold in stores more is that their harvest is more labor intensive than other nut varieties. So we have people who have never in their life tasted a black walnut or a hickory nut even though they are native to the very area we live in. Now that seems odd to me!

Above: Hickory nut found laying on the side of the road.

Maybe if more people foraged (responsibly, not over-consuming), there would be positive repercussion on the environment. Perhaps limiting the deer's food source will help reduce their numbers. Humans choice to avoid foraging from wild plants and trees may have upset the food chain, allowing in part for the overpopulation of deer in my area! The deer here are harming the forests that then affect the reservoir’s water quality. It's true that development took some of the deer's woodlands away but by us not competing for the food they eat we are unwittingly helping them prosper. Another benefit is to forage from wild plants, shrubs and trees that have been labeled invasive in my state helps prevent their further spread. That is taking something negative and making something positive from it. It's a win/win situation!

above and below: Native to Asia, the Autumn Olive was brought to America as an ornamental shrub. It is now considered an invasive species in my state of Connecticut. It's berry has 15% higher lycopene than a tomato. Lycopene has been shown in studies to help prevent Prostate Cancer. It is rich in vitamin C.

If you think the best foods come from grocery stores or factories, think about this topic for a minute, maybe you'll have a paradigm shift. I hope you do!

In future posts I plan to share photos of wild edible plants, tell stories of my foraging and review some of the books I’ve been reading. If you are curious to learn more, start by reading the website of Steve Brill, or google the key words “forage wild plants” and “wildcrafting”.

Homeschoolers and H1N1 Swine Flu

2009-11-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

Some homeschooled children in our area have symptoms of H1N1.

One of my sons has some symptoms right now but not a high fever so I’m honestly not sure if this is a regular old sickness or H1N1 or just a sore throat with fluid in the ear and a possible ear infection and a two degree higher than normal temperature. I’m playing it safe by keeping him away from others.

Per the federal government we should quarantine our children once they have symptoms so we do not infect others. It is contagious before the first symptom but we can’t do anything about prior exposures when our children have NO symptoms. The CDC says communities should make guildelines for their own groups, I take this to mean for example, a homeschool co-op would inform their members of the guidelines that they wish their participants to follow.

We homeschoolers are used to doing our own thing and making decisions that are best for our family. We are not in the same situation as parents of schooled kids who have school boards making decisions on when a child should leave school and when they are healthy enough to return. However when homeschoolers take part in group activities or attend paid classes the organizers of the event (co-op boards, professional art schools, music schools, etc.) should do their part to know the CDC recommendations and figure out policies to use for their participants.

Here is the CDC quote from this URL about quarantine in one's own home:

“Sick individuals should stay at home until the end of the exclusion period, to the extent possible, except when necessary to seek required medical care. Sick individuals should avoid contact with others. Keeping people with a fever at home may reduce the number of people who get infected, since elevated temperature is associated with increased shedding of influenza virus. CDC recommends this exclusion period regardless of whether or not antiviral medications are used. People on antiviral treatment may shed influenza viruses that are resistant to antiviral medications.

Many people with influenza illness will continue shedding influenza virus 24 hours after their fevers go away, but at lower levels than during their fever. Shedding of influenza virus, as detected by RT-PCR, can be detected for 10 days or more in some cases. Therefore, when people who have had influenza-like illness return to work, school, or other community settings they should continue to practice good respiratory etiquette and hand hygiene and avoid close contact with people they know to be at increased risk of influenza-related complications. Because some people may shed influenza virus before they feel ill, and because some people with influenza will not have a fever, it is important that all people cover their cough and wash hands often. To lessen the chance of spreading influenza viruses that are resistant to antiviral medications, adherence to good respiratory etiquette and hand hygiene is as important for people taking antiviral medications as it is for others.”

Since President Obama declared a national state of emergency for swine flu on October 24, 2009, every citizen should be adhering to the guidelines our government recommends.

It’s unfair for parents to intentionally expose healthy people to the virus just because we’re trying to be faithful to attend our homeschool co-op’s, homeschool group field trips, Scout events, or sport practice or a game. This all goes for parents of schooled kids too. That’s my two cents and I’m backed up by the President and the CDC so I'm not a lone voice in the wilderness!

An additional issue for our homeschool community is sometimes we interact as families and children under age 5, babies and pregnant women are in our company, those populations are at increased risk for worse outcomes if they get H1N1. If we parents are sick or our kids are we should stay home and not risk spreading the infection to others who may fare worse than us if they become ill.

Regarding the question of “to test or not” or “to treat with Tamiflu immediately or not at all”or “give Tamiflu only after the test comes back positive” the CDC says this from this source:

“When a decision is made to use antiviral treatment for influenza, treatment should be initiated as soon as possible without waiting for influenza test results. Antiviral treatment is most effective when administered as early as possible in the course of illness.”

Perhaps if someone in your family gets symptoms of H1N1, you should read & print off the CDC guidelines & take it in hand to discuss treatment with your doctor so you can have a discussion of options & to make an informed decision. I say this because two doctors I'm friends with that I spoke to yesterday do not know of these new guidelines, and neither did my friend’s child’s covering doctor, so maybe your Dr. doesn’t know them either. Specifically I am speaking about whether to prescribe the antiviral Tamiflu or not, if only certain people should ever get it, testing and so forth.

Below is a coorespondence another homeschooling mother sent me:

This is an official
CDC Health Advisory

Distributed via Health Alert Network
November 6, 2009, 13:51 EST (01:51 PM EST)
CDCHAN-00300-09-11-06-ADV-N

Key Issues for Clinicians Concerning Antiviral Treatments for 2009 H1N1

Although use of influenza antiviral drugs in the United States has increased during the 2009-2010 flu season, not all people recommended for antiviral treatment are getting treated. Listed below are important facts to consider when deciding whether a patient needs to be treated with antiviral medication.

It is critical to remember that it is not too late to treat, even if symptoms began more than 48 hours ago. Although antiviral treatment is most effective when begun within 48 hours of influenza illness onset, studies have shown that hospitalized patients still benefit when treatment with oseltamivir is started more than 48 hours after illness onset. Outpatients, particularly those with risk factors for severe illness who are not improving, might also benefit from treatment initiated more than 48 hours after illness onset.

Recommendations for Clinicians:

Many 2009 H1N1 patients can benefit from antiviral treatment, and all hospitalized patients with suspected or confirmed 2009 H1N1 should receive antiviral treatment with a neuraminidase inhibitor – either oseltamivir or zanamivir – as early as possible after illness onset. Moderately ill patients, especially those with risk factors for severe illness, and those who appear to be getting worse, can also benefit from treatment with neuraminidase inhibitors. A full listing of risk factors for severe influenza is available at: http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/highrisk.htm

Although antiviral medications are recommended for treatment of 2009 H1N1 in patients with risk factors for severe disease, some people without risk factors may also benefit from antivirals. To date, 40% of children and 20% of adults hospitalized with complications of 2009 H1N1 did not have risk factors. Clinical judgment is always an essential part of treatment decisions.

When treatment of persons with suspected 2009 H1N1 influenza is indicated, it should be started empirically. If a decision is made to test for influenza, treatment should not be delayed while waiting for laboratory confirmation. The earlier antiviral treatment is given, the more effective it is for the patient. Also, rapid influenza tests often can give false negative results. If you suspect flu and feel antiviral treatment is warranted, treat even if the results of a rapid test are negative. Obtaining more accurate testing results can take more than one day, so treatment should not be delayed while waiting for these test results. For more information on influenza testing, please see: http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/guidance/diagnostic_tests.htm.

Although commercially produced pediatric oseltamivir suspension is in short supply, there are ample supplies of children's oseltamivir capsules, which can be mixed with syrup at home. In addition, pharmacies can compound adult oseltamivir capsules into a suspension for treatment of ill infants and children. Additional information on compounding can be found at: http://www.cdc.gov/H1N1flu/pharmacist/.

Book Thoughts I Had While Planning Homeschool History Lessons

2009-11-08T10:57:00.000-05:00

We are following the cycle of studying history chronologically as outlined in the book "The Well Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home". The plan is laid out to study all of history in four years starting in first grade and cycling through a total of three times before college admissions.

Our materials have consisted so far of a spine of "Story of the World" (SOTW) (four volumes total, one per year ideally) then using other "real" children's books as supplements to flesh out the topics beyond what is covered in SOTW. SOTW is not intended as an all-encompassing textbook so for example it does not contain a ton of information about the Revolutionary War, or individual, important people. This is because SOTW was intended to be a spine with the users branching out to read other "regular" children's books for the common topics with many materials available.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at this point. This is why.

My husband's job had ended and we were homeschooling. I was an at-home mom making no income. I had a panic about how we could afford to homeschool, how we could get access to high quality materials (books, curriculum). I was using living books a la the Charlotte Mason method. I wanted great books. I was getting book recommendations from people who praised more highly, the older books, many which are now out of print and can even be hard to find to borrow from public libraries.

For a couple of years I went to many library book sales (fundraiser sales of used books) and grabbed up books ranging from free to $1. I was not always discriminating on what I bought. One old book looked great for the text content, a newer book looked best for its full color photographs or illustrations. Another had great maps and a broad overview but the text was boring. I bought them all. I also purchased things for the future years.

My sons are about three years apart in age. I was buying both for now and the future, and for each reading level of each child. So even when one son was done with a book I had to save it to use with my younger son in future years. Because we were not studying those topics at that moment I think I overbought. This is not a crisis since I paid so little for the books. The issue is I'm spending my time and energy sorting through them, making decisions on which to use and so forth. The thing is I think I'm feeling more obligated to use all the materials I purchases, where the same mindset is not held with materials borrowed from a library. I guess I need to let go of that notion.

Another issue is that some books highly praised by other parents are just not a good fit for my kids. They don't like the books even though other homeschool kids loved them. So now I have bunches of books here that will not be used by my kids. All that time spend looking for them (the rare, out of print books) and collecting them for future use was sometimes for naught.

In 20/20 hindsight I let fear rule my purchases. I was worried of not having enough material so was grabbing up what I could get and packing them away for future use sometimes without much thought or having a real plan in place. I was a bit of a pack rat about the books but don't think I've met the clinical diagnosis of a hoarder. The books have not endangered our health or impeded our living arrangements but they have taken over some closets and nooks and crannies. Also while stressed out about a too-tight budget, the shopping for used cheap books was an activity that was not harmful for my health, physically or mentally. If used book hunting got me through the tough times that is surely better than turning to over consumption of food for comfort, alcohol or drug abuse, is it not? A book buying addiction is not a dangerous addiction to have, right?

To give you a gist of what I'm contending with we definitely have over 8000 books here. I have not counted them all. Over 8000 are in an Excel spreadsheet that I began keeping in 2003 to help me remember what I owned and what I didn't. That was especially important when trying to collect out of print rare books for future use. I didn't want to buy duplicates and found that without a book list I was indeed buying two or even three copies of the same books. Fewer books are in my Library Thing account which I started two or three years ago. It doesn't take long to enter a book into Excel or Library Thing so it is not like keeping the list is robbing me of time.

Purging Books Project

I have been working diligently over the last six or eight months to let go of books not to cling on to books we are done using. I've got at this point perhaps 20 boxes in my basement ready to resell or give away, that's another whole project. I could just donate the whole lot to a library used book sale and take the tax write off for a charity donation but some of these materials that are in high demand of other homeschoolers could be sold for something (giving them a bargain in the process and giving me a few dollars) so I figure I should try to resell at least some of them.

I have not enjoyed much of the process. Unlike what some psychologist say about pack rats and hoarders, they say they enjoy all their stuff and somehow like to spend their time arranging and rearranging it. I don't feel that way. A little looking through books and making homeschool plans is fun and exciting but doing it for hours and hours every week when I'd rather be doing something else or interacting with my kids is preferred by me.

The Public Library?

If only we had excellent public libraries with enough materials on hand so we could just borrow the books at the exact moment we need it, all would be solved. I'd not have to buy these books; we could just visit the library weekly. Too often a book on a certain topic is checked out by a local patron or it is out on interlibrary loan (probably to some other homeschooler half way across the state). I have tried relying only or mostly on the library in the past and found I was having to travel to three different libraries in a 40 minute range and was spending hours each week going to and fro burning gas in the process. Managing the due dates and which library had an online renewal system was another annoying matter.

I am so sick of organizing and dealing with books in my house that I'm nearly ready to just use the libraries and deal with the inconvenience and imperfection of it. At least it would be a different kind of nuisance to deal with than my constant shuffling of books stored in my home. A change of pace would be welcome at this point.

I was good about putting all the books of one topic in labeled boxes because I didn't have enough bookcases to put them all out.

Today I am going through the US History books and sorting them. We have not done a full sweep of US History yet, just did units on various times based on trips we've taken. The Boy Scout Troop family trip to Gettysburg warranted a study of the Civil War. A trip with a group to Putnam Memorial Park in Connecticut piqued curiosity about the Revolutionary War. Past short units on Columbus (Columbus Day) and the Pilgrims meant my kids learned a bit about that at other times.

This is how I'm sorting them:

1. books for my grade 4 son to read

2. books for my grade 7 son to read

3. books that are to be read by both kids: a little below grade 7 material but are so fantastic that they warrant a fast and easy read for my grade 7 son (plus to be read by my grade 4 son). Example: a long text picture book with great illustrations such as those by Cheryl Harness.

4. books that will be used to show some photos only, on high school or adult reading level

5. teacher manuals, teaching idea books for me to possibly use

What I'm Realizing

It seems that there are TOO many books on the topic of US History. This includes a number of mediocre books but also many very good books. Certain topics have too many books written on the topic. How many different biographies about Benjamin Franklin should a fourth grader read? Is not one good enough? Yet I have multiple books here. I know, I should pick the best of the best and leave the rest behind. I have not read all of them, just skimmed some. It is hard to make the decision of which is the best. Another way to decide is to realize that one is way too skimpy and the other is perhaps too long to dedicate that much time to reading (one biography may take my grade 7 son 12 hours to read, is it worth that time?).

I will share too that when I realized I owned too many books I did stop attending the library sales like I was. I usually now only go to one or two that my town holds per year. They are small sales that I can go through in under an hour and there are low prices. I usually also attend one of the gigantic library sales. Those are so big (over 100K books) that a full day could be spent shopping there. Even when I attend the sales I have not been allowing myself to purchase ANY US History books! Lately I've been looking for books on knitting, art instruction and art history mainly.

In the sorting process I am sorting pre-1850 and post-1850 to correlate with the SOTW cycle. I hope to finish SOTW volume 3 this year and do SOTW volume 4 next year.

Where We Put the Books to Read This Year

I lack bookcase space at the moment. I have decided to use clear plastic boxes (Sterlite or Rubbermaid). Each child will have one "to be read" box. They will pick books from this box to read to themselves silently.

I have a box in the closet for books we are done with that we will never use again (to give away, swap or resell). As soon as a book is done being read I'm forcing myself to make the decision and if we're going to ditch the book to put it in that box. If we will save the book for the next child to read I'm putting it in another box in the closet (labeled as such). This way the house will not be a cluttered mess of books already done using this year.

Books for reference and teacher's guides not being used right now but that may be used this year will be in the bookcase in the family library.

Books that are being used all year long such as the SOTW book will be kept in my kitchen hutch where all our current homeschooling materials being used on a daily or weekly basis are kept within easy reach.

I shared in this former blog post about the organization system for our homeschool paperwork and materials. We've been using this for six months and it is still proving to be a good system for us.

Other Resources We Use

I use the SOTW Activity Book. My kids do the mapwork for geography in that.

We also use the Usborne History of the World book at present.

I own the out of print Kingfisher volume and I may start to use that as well for my grade 7 son.

In the last six months my sons have tapered off from doing a lot of coloring of coloring pages while they listen to me reading aloud.

We also have been relying on the audio book of SOTW read aloud by Jim Weiss (we are huge fans of his). We have been listening to SOTW in the car while on long commutes to homeschool classes.

I am not doing much reading aloud lately to be honest. My boys are doing silent reading of history material on their own.

Too Much or Too Little?

One more thing I'll share is I feel that SOTW sometimes spends too little time on a topic. One week for Haiti and one week for pivotal events in US History seems a bit unequal.

We also slow down to study topics of interest to my kids.

I have also found in the last year that my kid's silent reading has sometimes been out of order from SOTW a bit. For example we move forward with content in SOTW but they are still reading a longer book about Columbus. If I stopped doing SOTW's next lesson while they finished up the good book on some other topic we'd never move forward with SOTW. Doing that in the past is what got us off track and behind with SOTW.

All of this explains why we are not making the four year history sweep in four years.

Does Anyone Make It in Four Years?

I heard a recorded lecture given by Susan Wise Bauer. She said if you get behind just skip SOTW forward and move on, don't do it all or you will get off track. I've not followed her advice.

At a homeschool support group meeting last month I could tell two moms with young kids were getting a bit stressed over doing all this history. I then urged each parent of older kids to 'fess up about their schedule. Not a single one has been able to complete the four year history sweep in four years. Most complete it in SIX years. All the families think highly of history and want it studied thoroughly. They all said if they get through two comprehensive cycles before college begins they'd be thrilled.

So teaching history has been on my mind this weekend with all this planning and book organization that I've been working on!

A Savage Thunder Book Review by ChristineMM

2009-11-07T09:01:00.005-05:00

Title: A Savage Thunder: Antietam and the Bloody Road to Freedom
Author: Jim Murphy
Genre: Juvenile nonfiction, United States history, ages 9-12 (Civil War, Antietam)
Publication: Margaret K. McElderry (July 7, 2009)
ISBN: 978-0689876332
Full retail price: $27.99 (hardcover)

My Rating: 5 stars out of 5 = I Love It

Summary Statement: Detailed Narrative Nonfiction for Kids Filled with Eyewitness Accounts, Photos & Illustrations

I’m no stranger to the excellent writing of children’s book author Jim Murphy. Homeschooling parents and teachers are already familiar with his work which has a reputation for having been well researched, not containing dumbed down content, his exciting storytelling and a tone that does not talk down to kids. I was excited to learn that Murphy authored this new book which focuses on the battle of Antietam, the bloodiest day of the Civil War.

A SAVAGE THUNDER contains 90 pages of writing marketed to children aged 9-12 but to be honest older children, teenagers and even adults interested in this topic would enjoy for this book which will teach them more than any school textbook ever will and indeed taught me more than I ever learned in public school.

This book is a narrative nonfiction, meaning it presents factual information in a story format. Unfortunately this is a style of writing which was much more common fifty to one hundred years ago but is not common enough in new modern children’s books in my opinion. As a homeschooling mother who tries to use narrative nonfiction whenever possible I know the benefit of the storytelling format. Children usually are instantly engrossed in the story and well-written stories can instantly forge an emotional connection with the reader. When children read books in narrative format they often surprise adults by being interested in the topic and easily learning information that presented in other formats goes in one ear and out the other. The emotional connection with the material helps cement it into a person’s long term memory as well. This style of book is the antithesis to dry textbooks too filled with facts that bore children to death.

Each two page spread contains at least one illustration, map or photograph which is nice to break up the text and keeps the reader engaged. I found Murphy’s choice to include captions for the photographs with details about the person such as their age and some personal information that the reader can identify a great idea to make this old battle seem real. Hearing of how the person met their death or some details of their involvement in that part of the battle added some additional emotional punch to this nonfiction story.

I appreciated the obviously thorough research and the inclusion of eyewitness accounts throughout the story. Murphy did a great job weaving real details into the story. It reads more like an action adventure story than what we usually think of when we think “history book”. The pace is steady and moves us forward, never getting boring along the way.

The Preface sets the stage, explaining briefly the reasons for the Civil War. The book explains the viewpoints of the Union and the Confederate Army. An interesting point about the actions and choices of General McClellan made me realize how the actions of one person can greatly affect events. Murphy asks if McClellan had made other choices would the Civil War have ended sooner? The issue of the funding of the Confederate Army by Europe is discussed and how without adequate funds the Confederate Army wound up at a disadvantage. Slavery and the role of African-Americans in the Civil War is discussed throughout the book. How the Confederate Army relied so heavily on slaves for forced labor making battle easier for them, while the African-Americans who fought with the Union Army enlisted of their own choosing and were paid for their work yet having no slave labor made daily living harder for the Union Army.

After the story of Antietam, the last chapter discusses Emancipation, saying what started out as a battle to “maintain the United States turned into a war to free the country’s most helpless individuals…slaves”. Yet the fact that freeing the slaves was done by Lincoln to handicap the Confederate Army was made clear. This book is clearly not just about Antietam because it was the bloodiest day of battle – its importance is that it was a pivotal battle that changed the outcome of the Civil War.

If only more books like this existed for our children, teenagers and even adults to read, our nation would be more open to learning about history. A lot can be learned from this 90 page story full of action. This book makes this battle seem so real. Issues of the errors of humans and the opinions and stories of those in the battle makes us think that these people are not very different than those we know today.

Reading this book will result in real learning happening. I do not feel this book is good only for (the stereotypical) boy who loves war stories. This is a great book for all children who want to learn about history or who are studying history in school. This book has issues that are broader than bloody battle action stories. Reading it can be a platform for discussion of these other topics such as state’s rights, the role of federal government and of course, slavery. The only reader who won’t feel engaged by this book is one is closed-minded and has convinced themselves that nothing they ever read about history could be interesting. What a pity for those who choose that mindset.

Homeschoolers and Charlotte Mason method home educators, this book definitely qualifies as a “living book”. I consider it mandatory reading during a study of the Civil War. I can only hope that some public schools will use this book in their Civil War lessons.

Thank you, Jim Murphy for your research and your wonderful crafting of fact and eyewitness accounts into a story that somehow gives nitty gritty details of the battle in each moment as well as a macro view looking back at history 150 years later. Only a very good writer can pull all of this off. Bravo!

Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the Amazon Vine product review program, part of Amazon.com. I am prohibited from giving away or reselling this book per my Amazon Vine agreement. The book's full retail value is $17.99. I received no payment for mentioning or reviewing this book on my blog or anywhere else.

Technorati Tags: A Savage Thunder, A Savage Thunder book review, Antietam, Civil War, slavery.

Lio's Astonishing Tales: Book Review by ChristineMM

2009-11-07T07:46:00.000-05:00

Title: Lio's Astonishing Tales: From the Haunted Crypt of Unknown Horrors
Author/Artist: Mark Tatulli
Genre: Comic Strip collection with artist notes
Publication: Andrews McMeel Publishing (August 18, 2009)
ISBN-13: 978-0740785412 (paperback)
Full Retail Price: $16.99

My Rating: 5 stars out of 5 = I Love It

Summary Statement: Hilarious Adventures of an Imaginative Little Boy

Reading this book was my first exposure to the Lio comic strip created by Mark Tatulli. Sadly for readers in my area, our city newspaper does not print this comic. As a mother of two young boys I was curious what this strip had to offer. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Lio.

Lio is an independent elementary grade aged boy, an only child, who gets into all kinds of funny situations because what he imagines often comes true, or because his explorations of things he is curious about present him with fantastic adventures.

Tatulli clearly know the mind of boys as so many things that Lio does, my boys either have done or wish they could do. Lio makes things happen. Robots he imagines, he builds and uses, such as those who do household chores. Often his endeavors have unintended consequences, such as finding metal bolts in his school lunch that was prepared independently by a robot. Lio often gets himself into trouble at home or in school as a result of what he’s done. Lio loves to explore things, like a little mad scientist, taking it a bit farther than real life boys I know regarding dissection and attempts a la Dr. Frankenstein. A true autodidact, Lio is always reading books to teach himself to do things that neither his parents or his school is teaching him, stuff that never appears on school curriculums but resides in the imaginations of a young boy.

Some other topics in his strips focus either on his fear of monsters under the bed or befriending the monsters under the bed, a strange dichotomy. Lio isn’t seen with many human friends, instead he makes friends with aliens, monsters and zombies. He loves wild creatures no matter how creepy or slimy, and his pet is an octopus! Lio sides with the underdog, hating all schoolyard bullies and often helping the victims (such as the ants that some mean kids try to burn up using a magnifying glass and sunlight).

Occasionally there is a strip that makes a statement about issues such as the environment, like cutting down forest land for development. Lio also is against hunting (loving wild creatures so much) and so I took the hunting strips as statement strips too. I didn’t enjoy those as much.

The pages are large sized and contain three strips per page. These are reprints of strips printed in the newspapers. The daily strips are in black ink and Sunday’s strips are in color.

A number of the comics have the artist’s notes below them. These comment on his development of the Lio character over time and tell some stories of what his editors and readers thought of the strips (sometimes wrongly interpreting the content to be worse than it really is, in a sick-o kind of way). Tatulli also criticizes himself by pointing out mistakes he thinks he made in either graphic layout of the strip or poorly communicated content (looking back in 20/20 hindsight). We hear some of his thoughts and creative process along the way. If you don’t care about those notes you can ignore them. I personally enjoyed reading those as I especially enjoy hearing about the creative process (even when I think they are being too hard on themselves).

I really enjoyed this strip and reading this book. My boys aged 12 and 9 grabbed the book from me and they’ve each read it through twice, absolutely loving it. Both my boys and I also enjoy THE FAR SIDE and CALVIN AND HOBBES (and we all wish that the Calvin strip was still being produced). They described Lio as: “funny, understandable, and imaginative” Perhaps my appreciation for the strip lies in the fact that I know how the minds of little boys work and I appreciate their imagination and curiosity. As a homeschooling mother who likes to see children satisfy their curiosities by learning through reading I liked seeing books and self-education in a positive light as well.

I love Lio!

Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the Amazon Vine product review program, part of Amazon.com. I am prohibited from giving away or reselling this book per my Amazon Vine agreement. The book's full retail value is $16.99. I received no payment for mentioning or reviewing this book on my blog or anywhere else.

Technorati Tags: Lio, Lio’s Astonishing Tales, Lio’s Astonishing Tales book review.

Libation a Bitter Alchemy Book Review by ChristineMM

2009-11-07T07:02:00.000-05:00

Title: Libation: A Bitter Alchemy
Author: Deirdre Heekin
Publication: Chelsea Green Publishing; 1 edition (June 2, 2009)
ISBN: 978-1603580861
Full retail price: $25.00 (hardcover)

My Rating: 5 stars out of 5 = I Love It

Summary Statement: Lovely Writing, Rich Language, Almost Poetic; Should Be Savored Just Like Excellent Food and Drink

This is a memoir, not a nonfiction book. This is my first exposure to Deirdre Heekin and her writing and I feel that I’ve discovered a treasure. This is masterful storytelling with rich language. Heekin’s writing deserves to be savored just like the drink and foods she tells stories about in this book.

After getting married Heekin and her new groom went to Italy to research Italian cooking, baking, and wine. That trip began a journey of discovery about wine and alcoholic drinks. To say they enjoy good food is an understatement. Later they opened a bakery in Vermont and later, a full service restaurant serving local and seasonal foods with a focus on quality ingredients. Their latest endeavor is growing their own grapes and making small batches of wine.

The chapters are an interesting blend of an essay telling about one topic, a certain wine or a liquor.

She tells her experience learning about it (which educates the reader in the process) and usually how that topic relates to their current restaurant business. After that there is a story about the journey diving into grape growing and winemaking.

I find this book to be a read that I don't want to rush through. Like good wine and great food, it deserves to be savored. Heekin is brilliant with her prose. To fly through her writing would be a shame, a loss for the reader. I enjoyed reading it one chapter at a time before bed after my sons were asleep and after my husband had shut the television off. I wanted to read this book slowly and really pay attention to the story and the prose, to savor it.

Heekin reminds me a bit of Martha Stewart in that she seeks the best and then learns all about it, enjoying the learning process all the while. She wants quality not quantity. Heekin does not come off as a know-it-all but rather a person with deep curiosities who goes on to satisfy them in the spirit of a true autodidact. I enjoyed hearing how she put what she learned into practice in her real life.

I am not a big wine drinker but I enjoy slow food and can relate to wanting food and drink that is wholesome, real and fresh. I see this as a book about slow food (and drink) and that is why I was interested in reading this book. I also have an appreciation for the art and skilled craft of winemaking having visited some wineries in Napa and Sonoma Valley while on my honeymoon. I had somehow wrongly assumed this book was more about information, more of a nonfiction book. The pleasant surprise for me with this book was Heekin’s excellent writing and her almost poetic writing style. This seems perfect for reading under a blanket by a roaring fire with a cup of your favorite hot beverage in the winter.

I see that Heekin has co-authored a book with her husband Caleb Barber about Italian slow food, "In Late Winter We Ate Pears: A Year of Hunger and Love". I’m putting that on my “to be read” list.

Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the Amazon Vine product review program, part of Amazon.com. I am prohibited from giving away or reselling this book per my Amazon Vine agreement. The book's full retail value is $25.00. I received no payment for mentioning or reviewing this book on my blog or anywhere else.

Technorati Tags: Libation a Bitter Alchemy, Libation a Bitter Alchemy book review, memoir, Deirdre Heekin, slow food.

Semicolon's Saturday Review of Books Published Today

2009-11-07T06:32:00.002-05:00

Any blogger who posts about a book they have been reading this week can post a link to it on the Semicolon Saturday Review of Books. Submitting is simple.

Consider submitting!

And take a look at what bloggers are reading and what they think at:

Semicolon Saturday Review of Books November 7, 2009 edition

Part 11 Series My Experience With and Theories about Learning Styles

2009-11-06T13:11:00.000-05:00

More Learning about Brain Dominance

In the last post in this series I shared that hearing the lectures of Dianne Craft opened my eyes to brain dominance, about how to teach right-brained learners and some ideas about helping “struggling learners” with “blocked learning gates”. My head was swimming with information after that April 2008 conference.

Since I felt my older son needed help I read a lot about right-brained learners after hearing Dianne Craft speak in the spring of 2008. I changed some of his homeschooling and immediately improvement and easier learning happened. I realized I wanted more ideas to start implementing them in the fall of 2008.

I spent that summer reading writings by other people about right-brained learners. One thing I learned was that some experts feel that ADD and ADHD kids as well as highly creative children and dyslexic labeled people often have the traits associated with the right-brained learner. This does not mean that all ‘visual learners’ have any learning disability or any condition. However in seeking to read about right-brained learners, writers often cross into discussions of dyslexia and ADD. I found this tricky at first and was almost tempted to throw the baby out with the bathwater, since my child has neither a dyslexia nor ADD label, I thought that maybe what was being said about helping those struggling learners (using right-brained teaching methods) may not work. However I did find that right-brained teaching methods did work with my son even though some writers refer to these as tactics to help “ADD kids”.

It can be messy work dealing with labels. Sometimes picking apart the teaching method from the label and using the method on a child with a different label or without that label does work. I try not to get hung up on labels. This is why I don’t like debating semantics.

I am not pleased with the limited books published with right-brained teaching strategies. I’d like to see more books published on this topic. Some that are in print are not easy to find. Most cannot be found in public libraries so involve making a purchase to access the information. Ideally I’d like a very well written book about homeschooling right-brained children. The homeschooling parent has many concerns that parents of schooled children do not deal with. School parents are concerned with reacting and adapting what their children are forced to deal with at school, or they are fighting the schools to make accommodations for their child while the child is in school. Homeschooled parents have more freedom. We can change educational methods or styles. We can use custom tailored teaching methods. We can choose to avoid certain experiences. We need some help finding the best match of packaged curriculum or books. It would be nice to know which things to look for in outside paid classes and experiential learning. Lastly some guidelines about how much time teaching certain subjects is reasonable so we either do not over-teach and burn out kids out or under-teach and wind up with the educational standard bar set too low.

A very helpful list of traits of the left brained (concrete sequential) and right brained (visual spatial) learner can be found on Linda Silverman’s site:
Article Title: Visual Spatial Learners

Please do not get hung up on the fact that the site if for gifted children. The entire label of gifted and the related debate is another can of worms which I will not get into right now and have so far avoided blogging about.

Books about Left-Brained Learner Children

I have not read books about left-brained children and learning. I think this is because so many of our teaching methods and materials are for left-brained kids. Books that tell how to teach often are what I’d call “left brain” methods. The old textbook, read it and answer questions at the back is probably a left brained method, it certainly is NOT a right brained method. The method of giving a lecture starting with small tidbits of information that builds up over time to finally in the end give a big picture overview is the opposite way than a right brainer’s mind works, they want the big confusing picture of the unknown thing first then to learn what made it that way.

If you pick up teacher’s manuals most of the work in them is suited to the left-brained learner. Exceptions would be unit studies or “multidiscipline studies”. Anything with hands-on activities mixed in with academic content is not a left-brain learning method.

Attending a museum and being confronted with many exhibits is not the nice slowly metered out presentation of information that left brainers like. It can be overload for left brainers but be easy and ‘just right’ for right brainers.

I don’t have lists of books to share about left brained teaching methods because I feel that by default the American public education system and traditional schooling of private schools has been set up by left brainers, taught by left brainers and biased toward easy learning by left brained kids. Left brainers are the default “normal” in America and the right brainers are considered different, abnormal or to be suffering from a disorder. I don’t like that paradigm but it is what I think exists.

Books about Right-Brained Learner Children

The book that was the most helpful was “Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World” by Jeffrey Freed M.A.T.. This book has a subtitle that mentions ADD. Freed states that he feels that 95% of ADD diagnosed people are right-brained learners but not all right-brained learners have ADD. This 256 page book is geared toward mainstream parents of schooled kids who are struggling to learn in school and was published by Simon & Schuster. The book teaches parents some learning strategies to help a child with their homework or to re-teach what was taught with left-brained methods inside the classroom. I have taken some of these methods to adapt them for homeschooling. Parents of non-ADD children may tire of all the discussion about the ADD label and ADD treatment. I would say if you want a book to read on this topic to read this book. You can read sample pages of this book on Google Books. It is also not expensive when bought at discount from Amazon.com. Eleven dollars seems to me to be a small investment of money compared to educational testing, tutoring, and psychological consults. It’s about the cost of three cups of Starbucks coffee.

Another book that I own that was less helpful to me was “Unicorns Are Real: A Right-Brained Approach to Learning” by Barbara Meister Vitale. This is a 118 page book with very large font and lots of white space on its pages. It has ideas for teaching strategies. This seems geared toward elementary grade children and younger. I’m not as impressed by this book but if you feel you need more information and ideas for young kids especially go for it.

Another book I don’t own as it is not easy to come by is Linda Kreger Silverman’s book “Upside-Down Brilliance: The Visual Spatial Learner” . I have never found this in a library. As of today it is still not available new on Amazon.com. See this page at the Gifted Development Center where copies of the book may be able to be purchased.

I have not yet read a book that is not easy to come by, called “Raising Topsy Turvy Kids: Successfully Parenting Your Visual Spatial Child” by Alexandra Shires Golon, published in 2004. One mother told me this book is more about parenting than teaching strategies or helping the child learn.

Golen published a second book in April 2008 which I didn’t know existed until I was researching this topic today. It is published by Prufrock Press and is titled: “Visual-Spatial Learners”. I probably will wind up buying this soon.

In April 2009 I attended the MassHope Christian Homeschool convention as I do almost every year. I was surprised to find a speaker talking again about brain dominance and teaching children with learning disabilities. This speaker’s name was Linda Kane and she has certification as a neurodevelopmental therapist. Her company is called Hope and a Future. They work in consultation with parents to design a neurodevelopmental approach to help the child’s weak areas. She runs a company that can consult with homeschooling parents (or any parents) to formulate a customized teaching and therapy plan.

Kane spoke of neurological disorganization. She spoke of kids who were mixed-dominant as struggling to learn and usually having troubles in other areas (being overly emotional for one thing). One take away impression I had was the desire to get the child’s neurological system functioning more in alignment the way it should be then learning comes easier and things fall into place. She says they can “lose the label” by having symptoms of a disorder or even medical conditions disappear forever.

I attended all of the sessions given by Linda Kane and purchased the audio recordings of the lectures to listen to at home since I again was on information overload.

One thing struck me that was said by both Dianne Craft and Linda Kane. They both feel that children with an LD or who are right-brained learners can and do learn with different presentations of the information. Both feel the child needs certain kinds of teaching. I was listening to one of Kane’s lectures on CD yesterday and she accused some parents of not teaching in their homeschool. She said math worksheets are not teaching, worksheets are practice. Kids working in isolation are not teaching, and that parents should be doing active teaching. Ouch. I recall Craft saying the good news about homeschooling right brainers is there is currently no curriculum they can buy that is the magic bullet that is good news as there is no money to spend on expensive materials. What the homeschool parent-teacher must do is adapt left-brained curriculum with homemade inexpensive materials (paper and colored markers) and one’s imagination. That means time and energy on the part of the parent and time put into educating oneself about teaching with different methods.

Our Progress

I’ve been implementing various right-brained teaching techniques over this last year and half with very good results. My mind is always open to new ideas and teaching methods. I want my right brained child to be successful at learning.

In the next installment I will talk a bit about my younger son the very left-brained learner. I’ll also soon discuss blocked learning gates and what our behavioral optometrist told me about his theories about children’s weaknesses, strengths and neural pathways. This series is almost finished!

Part 10 Series My Experience With and Theories about Learning Styles

2009-11-06T10:55:00.001-05:00

In former installments in this series I discussed my older son’s diagnosis of an eye tracking problem, convergence insufficiency, which limited his ability to read and learn from written text. During the time before the diagnosis and before the treatment began he learned a lot from hearing me read aloud or by listening to audio books for both our academic homeschooling lessons and for fiction pleasure reading.

Honestly I’d never thought about it before but looking back with 20/20 hindsight, there was a mismatch between his learning styles test (primary visual-images, secondary kinesthetic) because most of his learning was favored to be from auditory channels. He did learn a lot by watching documentaries or having real life experiences. He would learn a lot by doing nothing but passively watching good video programs. I found it impossible to arrange a full academic curriculum out of documentaries and traveling to museums and historic sites. The idea of a video based education also cannot be accomplished for things like spelling, grammar, writing composition, and math. Watching Schoolhouse Rock videos only gets a person so far with learning language arts, for example.

My Eyes Open to Brain Dominance

This story begins in April 2008. This is the same month that my older son got his official diagnosis of convergence insufficiency. I was feeling overwhelmed and worried about that and I did not want to attend the big homeschool convention that I’d attended year after year. I was fried. A friend of mine was jazzed up about hearing a certain speaker talk because a learning styles certified person had told her one of her children was ‘very right brained’ and she would benefit from learning more about right-brained learners in lectures at that convention to be given by someone I’d never heard of before, Dianne Craft. This friend is persuasive and she talked me into going to the conference and going to hear Craft speak. I had no desire to hear her talk as I knew nothing about this and felt then the information would be of no use to me and that my “brain was full” of enough worry, stress, and self-education about my son’s new LD diagnosis.

So I was surprised and happy that I did attend a session by Dianne Craft. The first one I heard was titled “Smart Kids Who Hate to Write”. My kids hate to do writing composition and penmanship so I figured it sounded like my kids, let me hear what she has to say. In the talk she mentioned right-brained learners and her list of traits was my older son exactly. Dianne Craft was hopeful (not doomsday in her outlook) and she seemed excited to teach some learning techniques for right-brained learners. That talk actually mentions dysgraphia also.

Craft also in other talks discussed some LDs and what she calls “learning gates”. She discussed that people have a ‘reading gate’, a ‘writing gate’ and a ‘hearing gate’ and that if one is blocked learning is hindered. Various issues with different LD or neurological or medical diagnoses can block one or more gates. If the gate is blocked the learner has to learn using other methods. I intimated that they adapt themselves; I don’t recall her making that statement exactly. So in my older son’s case one could say that with his neurological processing disorder (eye tracking problem, convergence insufficiency) his ‘reading gate’ was blocked, leaving the other gates open to learning.

Many teachers, homeschoolers and even the most radical unschoolers believe that children cannot be stopped from learning and indeed they want to learn. Kids find a way to learn. Very young children want to learn (even babies) and they can be determined to learn by the various methods available to them. They pick up and learn things we don’t even want them to learn if they observe it (think of something bad or even dangerous they watched in a movie or that some kid did in their presence that they repeat or try to do themselves). If you accept this idea then you can see how a learner who has trouble learning from reading would find it easier to learn by auditory or kinesthetic methods. This has been the experience that I saw with my son. He was very open to learning by watching visual images in documentaries (or on any TV show) and he was happy to listen to audio books and to be read aloud to, so he did learn in those ways as those ‘gates’ were not blocked.

One thing I learned about Dianne Craft is she has a dedication to help children learn. If a child is weak in their ability to learn with a certain method of delivery ideally the teacher would tailor learning so that the content can indeed be learned. At the same time the weaknesses are being tended to, to try to fix or improve the weak areas to get things in more of a balance. One example is the use of occupational therapy exercises and techniques to help the child. Craft teaches parents to do these things rather than referring the child to an occupational therapist for regular therapy sessions. By doing exercises at home the family can save hundreds of dollars EACH WEEK and they can be done more frequently. Who has $500 a WEEK to pay for visits of that frequency? She sells a book that teaches parents OT exercises so they can do them at home.

Children with other diagnoses such as ADD/ADHD, Autism, a label of gifted and labels can have blocked learning gates or LDs. I feel that the things that Craft discusses can be of use to some kids with or without a label or these conditions. It is important to know that if a child has one or more labels they may be helped with some of these methods. Please don’t take the label as a reason to stop trying to help a child learn. What I’m saying is, if your child has one or more diagnoses, you might learn something from Craft that can help your child. Also children without an LD who may be strong visual learners (right brained) may benefit from using some of these methods too.

Dianne Craft also has some arrangement with HSLDA, as another special needs specialist does. HSLDA members can phone HSLDA and ask to speak to a special needs consultant about homeschooling a special needs child. If you do this, Dianne Craft may be the one to help you with a free phone consult.

Dianne Craft also runs a practice where she can evaluate your child for a fee, and recommend a plan for your unique child.

At present other than her Brain Integration manual Dianne Craft has not published a book that you can learn from. However on her website you can purchase audio lectures or DVD video lectures to listen to. You may hear her speak at a homeschooling conference and/or you may purchase past audio lecture recordings if they are available. (Some can be purchased by accessing host homeschool organization websites and ordering online.)

Craft also feels there are some biological links to these learning challenges usually due to the child’s nutritional intake or reacting to certain foods eaten. For example she feels that some children are suffering from Candida, an overgrowth of yeast with one side effect being making learning difficult. In other cases intake of sugar or being too low on essential fatty acids can hurt learning. Some parents who have no interest in those things or who deny the role of food and nutrition in a person’s health, mood or thinking and learning ability might have issues with those topics that Dianne Craft speaks about. I wish those doubting parents who are at wit’s end about their child’s struggles to learn would just open their minds and listen and give it a try. For example there are published medical studies about the benefits of supplementing with essential fatty acids (fish oils) with certain struggling learners, so some of this has been proven in the scientific sense. If dietary changes work then wouldn’t that be wonderful? Some parents are desperate to try anything. Is it really a big deal to consider trying a few changes? I don’t think it is. If you still are closed-minded to the role of nutrition some of the other things that Dianne Craft has to say may be of use to you. Take what you like and leave the rest behind. (Her series about this refers to these topics as “biology of learning”.)

Anyhow my biggest take-away from hearing Dianne Craft speak was that I realized my older son is a “very right-brained learner” (or call it visual-spatial learner or whatever you want to call it).

I realized my younger son, a fast learner who was precocious, is a “very left-brained learner”. I learned some things about left-brained learners that explained my son’s attraction to and desire to have certain things certain ways with his homeschooling, especially why he seems lost when I give allow him autonomy and to direct his own time. He wants clear assignments, schedules, to do lists and thrives on checking off completed work, being graded and seeing a list of work accomplished. He wants to compare himself to others and wants high scores and to feel he achieved something. Some of my younger son’s disappointments and disharmony have been caused by me using methods and daily routines that seemed great to me (left to my own devices and not having to work for an employer I’m much more to the ‘right-brained’ way of living).

In trying to teach both kids the same way with the same daily routines, in an attempt to make homeschooling easier and to do everything together, my younger son has sometimes felt out of sorts and lost. He loves workbook learning with pages to complete, being graded and feels a great sense of accomplishment from that kinds of learning (which has horrified me as my ideal vision of homeschooling included none of that kind of stuff).

I’ll share also that I fall more in the middle. I’m able to flex back and forth. If I have to sit still in a lecture, take notes and study for a test I can do that. I have learned study methods that allow me to memorize content even if I have no interest in it at all. If a job requires me to do things in a very left-brained manner to comply with corporate procedure, I can do it easily. I may not like it, it may not feel natural, but I adapt and Just Do It. However left to my own devices when I can live in freedom I am much more of a very right brained person. Some of these tests to determine right or left brained dominance are hard for me to answer accurately as I’m flexible. I loved a neat desk at my former job and I filed everything away neatly in case I needed access to it quickly so I could perform my job responsibly. But at home my desk is a mess and I prefer piles and stacks and rarely file things in vertical file folders. Yet the test question of “what is you desk like” is not a clear cut answer for me.

Another question sometimes asked is about planning things or being spontaneous. I’ve figured out for myself only recently that I love being spontaneous yet when others have expectations of me I prefer to plan things out. For example when I had a Cub Scout Co-Leader I felt to work cooperatively with her we should have clear communication about the next meeting’s date and time and we should have some agreement about what would be done. Without that we might each show up for the meeting planning to do all the work ourselves or have completely different ideas about what was to be done. I struggled with her because she wanted no pre-planning. She would say she’d lead the meeting then show up with no plan and no materials. She’d flip through the book and wing the teaching based on what could be done right then just by talking (because we had no rope to teach a knot or no art supplies to paint with). I would have been happy to teach the art projects and in fact had all the materials at home we could have used if only I’d known she wanted to do that project.

After working with my kids and some other people in learning environments including my former work as a corporate trainer, teaching new hires, I know people are different. They are different not just in their personal preferences but sometimes learning can really be hindered based on certain circumstances. Some people cannot learn if there is a certain amount of noise, or visual distraction in the area. Those who experience this or have witnessed this in real life with a child or other people they know do not deny that this is real. Yet some people think all of this is baloney and that if a person “just tried harder” they’d get past it and would learn.

I have a theory that some people who deny the existence of brain dominance or learning styles are either flexible themselves, like I am, or they have never experienced working with children or adults who are very much to one side of the pendulum or the other. When working with someone who is all the way to the left or the right, it is easy to see how that can be problematic especially when there is no choice but to try to learn using rigid materials or methods that conflict with the person’s ability.

In no way am I saying that children should be coddled. I am not advocating for creating bratty children who demand to have all their learning experiences fun and exciting. I am not looking for labels to make an excuse for a child. My concern is about realizing a child’s unique nature and trying to teach in ways that make learning stick. I don’t want to accept going through the motions to teach things a certain way even with a well-respected brand of curriculum and to force the learner to do the work and have no real mastery or no real learning happen.

I have written in the past about the fact that at a certain point, usually in the middle grades, not all learning is fun anymore. Some things take practice and effort, which is not always fun or exciting. Having to work hard to do something is not easy and it can be downright frustrating at times. As the child tries to do more things (writing composition) and as the school or homeschool parent hold a child to a higher standard than in former early education years, sometimes not everything comes fast or easy. Speaking for myself, I’m unwilling to lower the standard for my children. I don’t want to only focus on their strengths or work to develop their strengths and to ignore the weak areas. For example I don’t want to just feel happy that one of my children is very good at verbal communication and do nothing about his undeveloped writing composition skills, his poor spelling and absent punctuation. I’d like a certain level of basic skills, a strong foundation, and if certain other content areas wind up being superior also, then so be it (i.e. a history buff, a talented painter, a fantastic musician etc.).

I guess what I’m striving for regarding our homeschooling journey is some middle ground where what can be easy to learn is taught in a way that allows easy learning that allows the child to still have the energy and the drive to apply themselves to learn the things that don’t come as easily to them. I don’t want to tap my child out of all his energy or bore him to tears on things that can be taught or learned using a different METHOD or different materials. I believe in situations such as the freedoms we have with homeschooling, that I’d like to make some of learning experiences easier for my children. Again I am not recommending lowering academic standards or dumbing down their education.

In the next installment I’ll share about a few other sources of information that helped me learn about brain dominance and learning and how some of the strategies that we tried worked out for us.

My children and I have been helped by what I've learned from attending lectures by Dianne Craft. If one person is helped in some way by reading this blog post my time to write it will have been worth it.

External Links

Dianne Craft’s website

Dianne Craft’s DVD about Right-Brained Children

Dianne Craft’s speaking topics to see what she lectures about

Dianne Craft’s speaking handouts (maybe you can glean something from these that may tempt you to hear her whole lectures)

Articles by Dianne Craft online for free reading

The HSLDA site has a section on struggling learners that has some information written by Dianne Craft. See this main page for many links from here for more information. This area of the site is open to the public; it is not locked for members only.

HSLDA members have phone access to “special needs coordinators”. See this page.

Disclosure: I received no pay for mentioning any of these resources or organizations.

Part 9 Series My Experience With and Theories about Learning Styles

2009-11-06T09:39:00.000-05:00

Semantics and Debates of Validity of Reality of Brain Dominance

This next part of the story and my ideas has to do with what some call brain dominance. Before I go further I want to state that there is debate over the issue of brain dominance due to it being called brain dominance. Some people, laypeople as well as some scientists, like to discuss their disbelief in this idea due to the terms used. Frankly I don’t care what anyone calls it but some label must be used to term this thing which describes certain teaching methods and the learner’s learning strategies. (Later I will discuss some of these things, I hope my general statements are not confusing you.)

I know these things are real for my both of sons. I don’t understand the science behind it, I don’t know a lot about neurology and the brain. I only have so my time and energy to think about my children, home educating and teaching. To be honest I don’t care to know more about the brain’s white mater or gray matter or the corpus colossum or the other brain anatomy that scientists are still trying to understand with their relation to a person’s learning abilities and to their potentiality.

I care about my children and I choose to homeschool them. I want to know information to help me homeschool my children. If my children were in school these issues would still apply as they affect their learning, so this is not just a homeschool issue for me, it’s more of a parenting issue affecting every child and parent. My main concern is my own children. I need to concentrate on finding home teaching methods that work. Ideally I’d like my kids to learn and to master content. I would like the learning to be the fastest possible with the least amount of effort. If choosing certain materials or using certain teaching methods helps make those things happen for my children then I want to learn more about them and make it happen.

I had heard the terms “left brained” and “right brained” and “brain dominance” tossed about before but had not cared anything about it so didn’t know much about it. Some other terms debated but that need to be used in order to have a discussion that makes sense are:

Right-brained learner (right brained learner) also called Visual-spatial learner (visual spatial learner)

Left-brained learner (left brained learner) also called Concrete-Sequential learner (concrete sequential learner)

Some of the debates that people have about brain dominance are with the terms right and left brained. They pick apart the term and say “no person ever thinks on one side of their brain”. I acknowledge that it has been proven by MRI that both sides of the brain are used for different processes and no one has a shut off side of the brain unless they’ve had some terrible brain injury possibly.

I don’t care about the ‘why’ of these things. For example I just heard Dr. Temple Grandin, a highly-functioning person with Autism say that she feels her strong visual thinking is due to certain wide “cables” that are wider than normal. So it is being claimed that the brain’s physical characteristics affect thinking and learning and the potential and real life experiences of a person.

I am glad that scientists are exploring the brain. I am happy that new technology such as MRI is helping this exploration. However I am not waiting for conclusive scientific evidence before applying learning strategies to my child because my kids are here now and they need to learn right now.

Sometimes teachers know things about children for many years, they know what will work and what won't work or at what age it is futile to try to teach a child to do a certain thing. Then years later a scientist gives some biological explanation for it, such as the brain is focused on developing this thing at that age and it is not until a few years later that a child's mind is ready to do that thing, such as at what age is it reasonable to teach a child to write by hand neatly and in a small font. I don't care about the brain biology behind the ability to do that fine motor skill but I do have an awareness that if I knew nothing about that, if I tried to force my 12 month old to hold a pencil and write their name in small font it would be futile. I am trying to avoid similar missteps in higher level teaching in our homeschool.

If the scientists want to explore brain biology and try to match it to a person’s real life experiences with learning and working a job as an adult, that is fine. My concern is with my own kids in the here and now regarding their homeschooling. I am interested in theories and learning strategies as they are interesting to me and because I can apply them in practical ways to help my children learn.

Treating Normal Boy Behavior as a Disorder to Medicate?

2009-11-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

I'm reading a new book by a pyschologist with twenty years of experience treating young boys who someone thought might have a behavioral disorder or a condition that needs medication (ADD, ADHD, etc.).

I'm still at the beginning of the book so I can't say much about it. So far Dr. Rao is saying things that many parents have been saying for years but so far had only been the opinion of laypeople.

Here are a couple of videos that describe the book and his theories.

When I'm done with the book I'll be blogging a review of it.

So far I like it and the things he says are things I've been parenting my kids with since they were born, such as trying to figure out the reason behind the actions of a young child and addressing the actual problem and then the problem behavior disappears immediately.

Disclosure: I received a review copy of the book through the Amazon Vine reviewer program. I did not get paid any money to write and publish any blog posts or to review the book on my blog, on Amazon's site or anywhere else.