Forensics & Faith

It's Photo Friday!

2009-07-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Here we go with another crazy picture. This one was submitted by Winnie Hines.

Write your most clever caption. Or two, or three. Come back some time over the weekend to vote on your favorite. (Yes, you can vote for yourself if you truly are the cleverest.) I'll announce the winner next Tuesday (reminding you to vote on Monday). The winner receives his/her choice of one of my novels.

Do you have a wacky picture you think is worthy of Photo Friday? I'd love to see it. Email to: brandilyn (at) brandilyncollins (dot) com. If I use it, I'll send you a book of your choice.

Discussion Questions for Exposure

2009-07-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

For my last eight or so books I've been writing discussion questions for my novels, which are then posted on my Web site. A recent e-mail alerted me to the fact that I've not yet posted questions for Exposure. Oops. Too much going on, with two books releasing at once. And this story has the potential for some great questions on fear and how it affects our lives.

Anyone out there who's read Exposure want to take a crack at writing a list of discussion questions? If I use your list there's a free book in it for you (any novel of mine--your choice). And I'll include your name and Web site link on the page.

Here are questions for Dark Pursuit (adult suspense) and Always Watching (young adult suspense). Note that the lists include insightful questions about the story and characters as well as questions that apply the underlying themes to readers' lives. Also, I try as much as possible to write the questions so they don't give away major plot points in the story, in case someone reads them first.

If you'd like to submit a list, please do so by the end of this weekend. E-mail the list to: brandilyn (at) brandilyncollins (dot) com.

Pirate Hunter

2009-07-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
Pirate Hunter
Bethany House (July 1, 2009)
by
Tom Morrisey

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Tom Morrisey is a mountaineer, aviator, shipwreck diver, and explorer, who holds a Full Cave certification from the National Speleological Society - Cave Diving Section.

He has launched, edited or contributed to numerous national publications and is an award-winning adventure-travel writer. A popular speaker, he is also active in both evangelism and the arts. Morrisey earned an MFA in creative writing from Bowling Green State University, and his fiction has been featured in numerous anthologies and magazines.

His first novel, Yucatan Deep (Zondervan, 2002) was a finalist for the Christy award, and he is the author of six novels, including Wind River and In High Places. In addition Tom has also written two nonfiction books: 20 American Peaks & Crags (Contemporary Books, 1978) and Wild by Nature (Baker Books, 2001). He and his family live in Orlando, Florida.

ABOUT THE BOOK

High Seas Adventure Meets a High-Tech Quest for Pirate Gold. West Indies, 18th century: Young Ted Bascombe is rescued by notorious pirate Captain Henry Thatch, finding himself caught up in a world of crime, adventure, and a daily fight for freedom.... Key West, 21st century: Marine archaeologist Greg Rhode embarks on a treasure-hunting expedition in the turquoise waters of the Florida Keys, but he's as beguiled by a beautiful diver with different-colored eyes as by the lure of pirate gold...The Hunt Is On! Interweaving these two stories, pro deep-sea diver Tom Morrisey spins a multilayered tale of two young men's quests to escape their past by losing themselves to adventure on the high seas. Romantic and thrilling, this unique novel explores the timeless truth that "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

If you would like to read the first chapter of Pirate Hunter, go HERE.

Dark Pursuit Sells Movie Option

2009-07-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm pleased to announce that a contract has been signed for the movie option of Dark Pursuit, my stand-alone novel released in the fall of 2008.

Maggie Field of Maggie Field Literary Consulting discovered Dark Pursuit while searching for new novels with film potential. She alerted producer Harry Gittes, who liked the book very much. Gittes has teamed up with screenwriter Chuck Pogue to purchase the option.

Before the contract was negotiated, Gittes and Pogue spent about an hour on the phone with me and my agent, Lee Hough of Alive Communications, talking about their vision for the film. It was a good conversation, and I appreciated the time they took to fill me in on their thoughts. After that conversation, all parties decided to proceed with negotiations.

If you're unfamiliar with the term "movie option," think of it as a rental of film rights for a book. For the specified time of the option, the purchasers tie up the film rights while they create a screenplay and see if they can gain interest in funding the film. If they do, the film rights are then bought outright. If not, when the option runs out the rights revert to the author, who can then option or sell the film rights to someone else.

About Dark Pursuit

Novelist Darell Brooke lived for his title as King of Suspense—until an auto accident left him unable to concentrate. Two years later, recluse and bitter, he wants one thing: to plot a new novel and regain his reputation.

Kaitlan Sering, his twenty-two-year-old granddaughter, once lived for drugs. After she stole from Darell, he cut her off. Now she’s rebuilding her life.

But in Kaitlan’s town two women have been murdered, and she’s about to discover a third. She’s even more shocked to realize the culprit—her boyfriend, Craig, the police chief’s son.

Desperate, Kaitlan flees to her estranged grandfather. For over forty years, Darell Brooke has lived suspense. Surely he’ll devise a plan to trap the cunning Craig.

But can Darell’s muddled mind do it? And—if he tries—with what motivation? For Kaitlan’s plight maybe the stunning answer to the elusive plot he seeks...

Read the first chapter.

ICRS Signing

2009-07-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I will be flying out of Denver back home. Daughter Amberly will be heading out at the same time. Yesterday we had a very successful signing on the ICRS convention floor, with a long line that had to be cut off in order to start the signing right after us. (Which also had a long line waiting--for Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy Graham.)

The ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers), plus members of The Writers' View got together for dinner at Bubba Gumps' Shrimp. Amberly and I had a great time talking to different folks, including Kimberly Woodhouse, who's a lot of fun. (See Kimberly's Web site for her book Welcome Home, Our Family's Journey to Extreme Joy, about her family being on Extreme Makeover, Home Edition.)

It's been a terrific six days, but I'm ready to get home. I have a book waiting to be finished, plus another retreat and our family reunion, all this month.

Kimberly Woodhouse and Amberly

Signing pics from ICRS floor

Novelist's Retreat in Denver--2

2009-07-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

The novelists' retreat, starting Thursday night and ending Sunday morning, was wonderful as usual. All day Friday we were taught by screenwriting consultant Michael Hauge. He gave us terrific insights into story, breaking down the different stages of story (including books and movies) both for the outer plot and the inner journey of the character. Fabulous stuff.

Saturday we had sessions on the business of writing--finances, taxes, contracts, etc. Saturday evening was the Christy banquet. Winners of the awards:

Contemporary Romance: Beyond the Night, Marlo Schalesky (Waterbrook Multnomah)

Contemporary Series, Sequels and Novellas: You Had Me At Goodbye, Tracey Bateman (FaithWords)

Contemporary Stand-Alone: Dogwood, Chris Fabry (Tyndale House)

First Novel: Blue Hole Back Home, Joy Jordan-Lake (David C. Cook)

Historical: Until We Reach Home, Lynn Austin (Bethany House)

Historical Romance: From a Distance, Tamera Alexander (Bethany House)

Suspense: The Rook, Steven James (Revell)

Visionary: Vanish, Tom Pawlik (Tyndale House)

Young Adult: I Have Seem Him in the Watchfires, Cathy Gohlke (Moody)

Tamera Alexander (Christy winner) and my daughter, Amberly

Jerry Jenkins and Amberly at Christy reception

Christy reception: Me, Robin Jones Gunn (Christy nominee), Amberly

Josh Singer, Randy Singer (Christy nominee), me,

Sue Brower (Zondervan editor), Amberly, Lee Hough (our agent)

Kim Sawyer, winner of this years Rotten Review award

at our retreat, being handed the medal from

last year's winner, Tamera Alexander

Homicide detective and novelist Mark Mynheir
teaching us about the cop world for our novels

Two Christy nominees for suspense category:

Athol Dickson and Randy Singer

Novelist's Retreat in Denver

2009-07-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Pics of a few attendees at the retreat. Last night we were just gathering, eating and hanging out. Meetings begin today. (All names are hyperlinked to author's web site.)

Mindy Clark

Lori Copeland

Colleen Coble, Randy Ingermanson

Angela Hunt, Harry Kraus

Mark Mynheir, Brad Whittington

Tamera Alexander, Sunni Jeffers

June Bestseller Lists

2009-07-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

Both the ECPA and CBA bestseller lists are now in, reflecting sales in the month of June. The ECPA list is always titled one month later than the sales month, so it's called the July list. The CBA list is always titled two months later, so this is its August list. (Confusing, I know.) The data are crunched a little differently, hence you'll see some differences on the two lists. Those books appearing on one list only are highlighted in blue.

Both CBA and ECPA also have their own Top Fifty lists, which include both nonfiction and fiction sold within the Christian market.

CBA (Numbers in parentheses reflect placement on the CBA Top Fifty list)
　
1. (2) The Shack, William P. Young, Windblown Media
2. (5) Take Two, Karen Kingsbury, Zondervan
3. (8) Take One, Karen Kingsbury, Zondervan
4. (23) A Bride in the Bargain, Deeanne Gist, Bethany House (Baker)
5. (25) Double Minds,Terri Blackstock, Zondervan
6. (29) The Secret, Beverly Lewis, Bethany House (Baker)
7. (31) Fireproof, Eric Wilson & Alex Kendrick, Thomas Nelson
8. (32) A Dream to Call My Own, Tracie Peterson, Bethany House (Baker)
9. (34) BoneMan’s Daughters, Ted Dekker, Center Street (Hachette)
10. (37) Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers, Multnomah (WaterBrook)
11. (46) Circle Trilogy, Ted Dekker, Thomas Nelson
12. Higher Hope, Robert Whitlow, Thomas Nelson
13. Kiss, Ted Dekker, Thomas Nelson
14. A Gift of Grace, Amy Clipston, Zondervan
15. Deeper Water, Robert Whitlow, Thomas Nelson
16. Exposure, Brandilyn Collins, Zondervan
17. A Love to Last Forever, Tracie Peterson, Bethany House (Baker)
18. A Cousin’s Promise, Wanda Brunstetter, Barbour
19. The Inheritance, Tamera Alexander, Thomas Nelson
20. A Widow’s Hope, Mary Ellis, Harvest House

ECPA (Numbers in parentheses reflect placement on ECPA's Top Fifty list)

1. (2) The Shack, William P. Young, Windblown Media
2. (5) Take One, Karen Kingsbury, Zondervan
3. (16) The Secret, Beverly Lewis, Bethany House (Baker)
4. (17) Fireproof, Eric Wilson & Alex Kendrick, Thomas
5. (19) A Bride in the Bargain, Deeanne Gist, Bethany House (Baker)
6. (21) Higher Hope, Robert Whitlow, Thomas Nelson
7. (24) Circle Trilogy, Ted Dekker, Thomas Nelson
8. (25) BoneMan’s Daughters, Ted Dekker, Center Street (Hachette)
9. (27) A Dream to Call My Own, Tracie Peterson, Bethany House (Baker)
10. (30) Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers, Multnomah (WaterBrook)
11. (33) Plain Pursuit, Beth Wiseman, Thomas Nelson
12. (34) Double Minds,Terri Blackstock, Zondervan
13. (36) Lunatic, Ted Dekker, Thomas Nelson
14. (37) By Reason of Insanity, Randy Singer, Tyndale
15. (45) Exposure, Brandilyn Collins, Zondervan
16. (47) A Gift of Grace, Amy Clipston
17. (49) Elyon, Ted Dekker/Kaci Hill, Thomas Nelson
18. (50) A Widow’s Hope, Mary Ellis, Harvest House
19. Plain Perfect, Beth Wiseman, Thomas Nelson
20. A Cousin's Promise, Wanda Brunstetter, Barbour

Wretched Writers Welcome--Bulwer-Lytton 2009 Winners

2009-07-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

The Bulwer-Lytton contest--"where www means wretched writers welcome."

Haven't heard about this contest to write the worst first line of a novel? Read about it here. As for the 2009 winners, here's an example in all its glory:

Runner-Up

The wind dry-shaved the cracked earth like a dull razor--the double edge kind from the plastic bag that you shouldn't use more than twice, but you do; but Trevor Earp had to face it as he started the second morning of his hopeless search for Drover, the Irish Wolfhound he had found as a pup near death from a fight with a prairie dog and nursed back to health, stolen by a traveling circus so that the monkey would have something to ride.

-- Warren Blair Ashburn, VA

Read the complete list of horribly awful winners here.

ICRS Coming Up

2009-07-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

The time has rolled around again. On Thursday I will be flying to Denver for the ChiLibris novelists' retreat, followed by the International Christian Retail Show (ICRS), starting Monday the 13th. In the middle of these two events is the Christy Awards reception on Saturday night. (Go here to see Christy nominees for this year.)

ICRS--and therefore the Christy reception and ChiLibris retreat--is being held in Denver this year. Daughter Amberly and I will be signing copies of Always Watching on the convention floor on Monday at 9:30 a.m. I'll also be signing Exposure at that time. Hey, there's a bargain for the bookstore folks. Stand in one line--get two books.

ICRS has been less and less attended in the past number of years. Of course, in this present economy, everyone's cutting back. I don't know the future of the convention. One large publisher (Thomas Nelson) has stopped attending, and others seem to be putting up smaller booths on the floor than in the past. However my publisher, Zondervan, is hanging in there with gusto. A look at the convention floor map shows Zondervan with the largest booth among publishers.

My blogging will be intermittent during all the travel and meetings. However I'll post as much as I can. Look for pictures from the ChiLibris retreat and the Christy banquet. And the convention floor, too, if I can manage it.

Meanwhile I am happy to say that Exposure has placed at #15 on the ECPA fiction bestseller list for book sales in June, and at #45 for ECPA's Top Fifty list, which includes both fiction and nonfiction within the Christian market. When the CBA list for June releases in a couple weeks, I'll post my usual comparison of the two lists.

For those going to ICRS--hope to see you on the convention floor.

What a Fourth

2009-07-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

Two social kids is all you need. They'll invite a bunch of friends--and you've got a hoppin' fourth of July. And of course, they forget to tell you about inviting half of them.

Our Idaho home is a great place to hang out, especially in the glorious summers. The kids (I call them kids--they ranged from 19 to thirties) took over our deck and the kitchen, eating. And eating. And then they all went out on the lake in numerous boats for Saturday and Sunday afternoon.

Saturday night we went down to the water to watch the town fireworks set off from the lake in front of the Coeur d'Alene Resort. And we set off a few of our own.

We had about 27 throughout Saturday. I thought most of them were going home that night. Nope. Twenty-three decided to stay the night. I handed out all the blankets and pillows we had, and blew up air mattresses. Then Mark and I went to bed, saying, "Okay, folks, you figure it out." Sunday morning I went downstairs to find bodies everywhere. All bedrooms had already been taken. That morning every couch, arm chair, deck chair and blow-up mattress was full.

I hadn't counted on 23 for breakfast.

I pulled out all the food we had left. Eggs, sausage, fruit, bread, steaks. Stayed in the kitchen most of the morning feeding people as they staggered up. (They'd had a late night.)

In the middle of all that, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday I managed to sneak in a good bit of writing as the kids went out on the lake.

By Sunday night I was very tired. But happy. Fun weekend.

We'll do it again next year, as always. And next time I'll remember to buy breakfast fixings for a couple dozen people.

Sunday morning: bodies and more bodies

Amberly's Yorkie, Bear, dressed for the occasion

Happy Upcoming Fourth

2009-07-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

I took this photo yesterday of our new fawn. Every afternoon he races back and forth across the backyard, driving his poor mama crazy. She just can't keep up with him.

In the background view across the water on the right lies the Coeur d'Alene Resort. The town's fireworks are set off from barges parked a short distance from the resort docks. We have a great built-in view of the fireworks from our deck.

So far I hear about 25 are coming for the BBQ here on the fourth. Which means probably more like 35. I never know, really. The kids invite kids who invite kids. Our house has become the hang-out place for July fourth. Quite a few overnight guests too. All five bedrooms full, blow-up beds full, and perhaps a tent to boot. Lots of fun. And I need the break. I've been writing without a day off for quite a few weeks now.

I'll be taking a break from blogging also and will return next week.

Blessings, all, on this holiday weekend. Thank God for your freedom!

June '09 List of Today's Word

2009-06-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

Who's gonna tackle using at least six of these in a sentence? The highly creative will use at least eight...

EPIGONE (EP-uh-gohn) noon--an inferior imitator of a distinguished writer, philosopher, musician, or artist.

CHIMERICAL (ki-MER-uh-cul) adj.--unreal, existing only as the product of wild, unrestrained imagination.

SIMULACRUM (sim-uh-LAKE-rum) adj:--a representation of something, an image; a superficial likeness.

PECKSNIFFIAN (PEK-SNIFF-ee-un) adj.--marked by unctuous hypocrisy; selfish & corrupt behind seeming benevolence.

CONTUMELIOUS (kon-tuh-MEE-li-us) adj--insolently abusive and humiliating.

BOMBINATE (BOM-buh-nate) verb--to buzz or drone.

PERENDINATE (puh-REN-din-ate) verb--to put off until the day after tomorrow.

DELITESCENT (de-li-TES-unt) adj.--lying hidden.

GADARENE (GAD-uh-REEN) adj.--rushing precipitously forward; engaged in headlong flight.

POLYSEMOUS (puh-LI-suh-mus) adj.--having many meanings.

CELERITY (su-LARE-i-tee) adj.--rapidity of motion or action; swiftness, speed.

DARKLING (DARK-ling) adj.--uncannily or threateningly dark or obscure.

CONCINNITY (kun-SIN-ni-tee) noun--a studied elegance and ease in style of expression.

ACARPOUS (AY-car-pus) adj.--not producing fruit; sterile.

MOIROLOGIST (moy-ROL-uh-jist) noun--a hired mourner.

PELLUCID (puh-LOO-sid) adj.--permitting maximum light so one can see without distortion; very easy to understand.

LUCUBRATE (LOO-kyoo-brate) verb--to work, write, or study laboriously, esp. at night; to write learnedly.

OVERSLAUGH (O-vur-slaw) verb--to pass someone over in favor of another, as in a promotion.

SUBINTELLIGITUR (sub-in-tull-IDG-i-tur) noun--something implicitly understood but not stated.

COEVAL (koh-EE-vul) adj.--of the same age or duration; occuring at the same time/era.

VERTIGINOUS (ver-TIDGE-i-nus) adj.--afflicted with dizziness; tending to cause dizziness.

LACHRYMOSE (LOCK-ruh-mose) adj.--fit to bring tears or induce sadness.

DERACINATE (duh-RASS-un-ate) verb--to pull out by the roots; to remove from one's environment.

BORBORYGMUS (BOR-buh-RIG-mus) noun--intestinal gurgling.

CHTHONIC (THAWN-ick) adj:--dwelling in or relating to the underworld; relating to hellish spirits.

THROTTLEBOTTOM (THROT-tul-BOT-tum) noun--an innocuously inept and futile person in public office.

ACULEATE (uh-KYU-lee-ut) adj.--marked by incisiveness; pointed, stinging.

CADUCITY (kuh-DYU-si-tee) noun--perishableness, transitoriness; a feebleness from age, such as senility.

IMPUDICITY (im-pyu-DISS-i-tee) noun--shameless, immodest.

SACCADIC (suh-KAH-dic) adj.--characterized by sudden movement; jerky.

Ending Throes

2009-06-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

I am in the throes of trying to finish a book. At this point in a manuscript I drive myself and everyone around me crazy. I'm glaze-eyed, I stare out windows. I forget things.

It becomes particularly bad (as in for the past three days) when I get stuck. I have no time to get stuck, understand, but I do it just the same. Plot points I expected to come together aren't quite making it. Or I can't figure out how to make them happen. Or happen at their best. I wouldn't have this problem if I didn't have Character A doing this, Character B doing that, and Character C doing something else, all going around each other, all with their own motivations, which mess up someone else's plot line. A can't do what I thought she'd be doing right now, because she's with B, and B wouldn't let her, and C ...

Aayyo, as my grandmother would say.

The thing that really gets me is--when it's all finally, somehow, who-knows-how-I-managed-it written, and I read it over, the story all looks so natural. Of course it had to happen that way. Everything just dovetails and works, and why in the world was it so hard? Why didn't the writing just flow from my fingers?

My wonderful husband's patience really gets a work-out during these times. He tries to be supportive and stay out of my way. But good husbands require a certain amount of care and feeding, and he's certainly lacking for my attention of late. Oh, I feed him. My mind's just ... not all there.

I have a few days this week to try to get unstuck and hammer out pages--before the hordes descend for the fourth. I still don't know where we're going to sleep everyone, and what I'm going to feed everyone, and right now I don't have time to think about it. These things have a way of working themselves out.

This post is now done, and I can only hope I've made half a lick of sense.

In my next life I'm a secretary.

Tomorrow is Not Promised to You

2009-06-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a sobering week.

First 26-year-old Neda Agha Soltan's fatal shooting in Iran last Saturday. The video of her final moment on earth has etched itself into the memories of millions around the world. (If you haven't yet seen this short clip, please be advised it's a graphic depiction of death.) Neda's tragic murder, now a symbol of the Iranian revolution, is a grim testament to humanity's thirst for freedom. This nineteen-minute interview with the doctor who tried to save her life shows the emotion that surrounded the scene. By speaking out, he now knows he will pay a price.

Then on Tuesday came the death of Ed McMahon at 86. And on Thursday, two more. Farah Fawcett, losing her battle with cancer at 62. And the sudden death of pop icon Michael Jackson at age 50.

Neda's and Michael's deaths are stunning because they were young, and their passing so unexpected. As our pastor often says, "Tomorrow is not promised to you."

As I mourn for these people and their families, I can't help but turn inward and remind myself that tomorrow is not promised to me. The thought leads me to Psalm 90:12. It's a prayer we should all be praying, one by which we should live our lives. A prayer most appropriate after this week's events.

So teach us to number our days,
That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

How to Stab Someone at a Dinner Party and Get Away With It

2009-06-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

You can dress up a suspense author, but you really shouldn't take her out.

I have burning questions. And they need answers. Now.

I know I come across as strange. I know a certain hot tub repair man (young, cute guy) from years ago will never forget my animated questions about dead bodies and bubbles from the jets in their lungs ...

This time it was a dinner party. Five couples and I. (Hubby couldn't attend due to a meeting.) Everyone having a good time, eating appetizers before the main course and talking in small groups.

I hone in on the retired doc. "Have a medical question for you."

He gives me a look. This guy knows what "medical question" means in my dictionary. "Shoot."

"Actually I'm not shooting, I'm stabbing. I want to kill this woman by getting to her heart. But I'm coming at her from the back. With a long carving knife. How do I do that?"

Doc doesn't even flinch. What a great guy. "Hm. I'm used to seeing messed up patients in the ER and fixing them. Don't usually think about the other side of things..." He ponders a bit. "Well, you'd have to miss shoulder blades and ribs. If you ..." He launches into where to stick the knife and at what angle. A lengthy discussion ensues. He calls his wife over (a nurse). She gets to play victim as he demonstrates.

By this time our other friends are looking up from their conversations and caviar and Alaskan crab. "Sorry." I draw up my shoulders. "I'm just ..."

They're used to me. Some of them watch the enactment. Others go back to eating. Some do both. Imported cheese and a stabbing. Double the entertainment.

Our fatal conversation finally winds down. I've got my scene. Doc stares off into the distance as if not quite satisfied. He clearly enjoys this stuff as much as I do. "But she's not going to die right away," he says.

"Yikes." Hadn't planned on that. "How long will it take?"

We discuss how long it needs to take for the scene to work. Which is ... not long.

He comes up with a brilliant idea, a twist on the stabbing technique. It's not the knife going in that kills her. It's the knife coming out--from some not so medically savvy folks who are trying to help after the stabbing.

Love the ironic touch.

We launch into a new discussion of how this would work. By the time we're done our hostess is calling us to the table. Doc's wife--the victim--has long since managed to wander off.

"By the way," Doc says. "Does this person deserve to die?"

"Nope."

He winces. "I just killed an innocent person."

I grin. "You're the best, Doc."

Later hubby asked if I'd had a good time at the dinner party. "Oh, yeah. It was quite the killer event."

He knew better than to ask me for an explanation.

Tangled in the Eyes of a Mixed Metaphor

2009-06-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

I am a great fan of the mixed metaphor. Especially when I'm on a crunch to finish a manuscript and need some serious distraction (like now). There’s something so fresh, so invigorating about blending two wildly disparate bits of description. Oh, the visions that arise. The provocative new understandings of our world.

“You’ve buttered your bread; now lie in it!” (Jiminy Cricket.)

Sometimes such phrases slip from one’s mouth unintentionally, craftily created by the subconscious. (You’ve got to wonder about the subconscious. Methinks they’re sleeping giants ready to explode.) One of my faves blurted from a friend of mine during a discussion of a decision she faced: “But that would be putting the cart before the egg.”

How profound. Can you envision the scene? The little red cart, the bridle lines, the dragged egg, now worn and cracked? 'Tis the ultimate picture of poor planning.

Then there’s this one: “I’m going to stick my neck out on a limb.”

Ouch.

And others:

“If that were true, why are such sanguine voices shrugging it off?”

“This job is a real albatross around my neck.”

“Yeah, yeah, but an open mind can be a double-edged sword.”

“That’s a lot of baggage for a sitting duck.”

Other times mixed metaphors slip into writing—and unfortunately, past the editor’s eye.

In the chasm between them, his belated apology made not a single dent.

The bonfire of his desire could not quench the fear in her heart.

In the sea of life, there are many crossroads.

Hey, even Shakespeare managed a mixed metaphor: "... take arms against a sea of troubles."

When I need some serious procrastination, I’ve been known to make up a few mixed metaphors of my own. In fact, such pursuits can entertain me for hours. (Somewhere along the way the budding wires of my emotional development must have knitted when they should have purled.)

The tracks of her empathetic tears cemented their friendship.

That politician is too lame-duck to take this hot-button bull by the horns.

Her cheeks blossomed with color, erasing the fire in her eyes.

He’ll take you down a rosy path, then turn it on its head!

That white elephant in the family living room is the ball and chain of his existence.

The stain of his guilt sank talons into his soul.

The sputtering engine of his wild choices hung him on the wrong side of the fence.

A diamond in the rough can’t afford to spit into the wind.

Okay, enough already. I’d better cut this off or I’ll be at it all day. The call of my manuscript gestures for my attention. And the weight of my responsibilities smoke-signal me back to work.

Oh, no, too late. A caravan of mixed metaphors now sails through my head, lifting me to greater nonsensical heights. I ride the wind of their Siren song, drift their ocean of tempting word morsels. Their magnetizing power pulls the rug out from under me. I am awash in their blazing hypnotism, captive to the tide of their fiery darts, crushed beneath the heat of their—

Agh! Fingers of panic scream at me to stop.

Somebody. Please. Help.

Does Twitter Link Authors With New Readers?

2009-06-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Winner of Photo Friday: Karen Barnett. Her caption read, "I thought the scripture said the lion will lay down with the lamb, not the moose will sleep with tiger!" Congrats, Karen. Please email me with your address and choice of one of my books.
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On an author's e-mail loop we've recently been discussing the pros and cons of Twitter/Facebook for authors. Is the time you put into such social media worth it in terms of return on investment (ROI)? I have certainly connected with new readers through T/F. I think the investment will pay off even more down the road. Although I'm on Twitter and Facebook every day, it really takes very little time. The same tweet on Twitter feeds to my Facebook page. I'll jump on one site or the other for a minute or two at a time throughout the day just for a fast break from writing. I spent more time on T/F in the early stages, setting up my account and profile, building followers/friends. Now that's behind me, and my account numbers grow on their own.

I posed this question on T/F: "Readers--have you discovered a new author on Twitter/Facebook? Writers, have you found new readers through T/F? Tell me!" Here are some responses:
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I have discovered a number of great emerging & established authors through Twitter (not so much Facebook), including your work.

I bought Coral Moon because of your tweets. Too scary for me, but still an awesome read. :-) Passed it on to mom who's not as easily freaked out.

I have bought: Moriah Jovan, Carolyn Jewel, Tessa Dare, "Moira Rogers", Anne Frasier, Nalini Singh because of Twitter.

Yes, on both accounts. I've sold books because of tweeting and facebooking.

Yes, I discovered Mary DeMuth and Megan Dimaria, and bought a book by each of them. Have also bought bks. recommended on Twitter.

I've found lots of new writers through Twitter. FB not so much.

Not FB as much, but I have discovered new authors and books on Shelfari- lots of librarians on that site. I joined some similar interest groups, and they suggest and discuss books...did hear about Francine Rivers there.

YES! I've discovered many authors on FB and Shelfari. I was following Robin Lee Hatcher's blog for years before I finally read her books. Silly me! Better late than never!

Oh yes, thanks to all the book bloggers on Twitter i've found tons of new authors outside of the genres I've normally read. For example, I had never heard of Suzanne Collins before Twitter, now i can't wait to read The Hunger Games or Catching Fire.

Yep..that's how I 'discovered' you :)

Yes, I have discovered authors by seeing who other people follow or retweet.

I've gained readers through Facebook.

The best FB aspect I've found as it relates to other authors is to keep track of what they're working on and get to know them a little better.

I did find the terrific Steven Clark Bradley on FB.

I enjoy seeing new blog post with a teaser to read on twitter, interaction with authors on both T and FB. I have added some new authors to my list of reading. And its fun to get to know the author behind the story. I really enjoy your tweets and interaction on facebook.

Wendy Lawton twittered about Tosca Lee's Havah: The Story of Eve when she was reading it. Love Wendy, so I followed the link. Bought the book, loved it, bought her other book, & met Tosca at Mount Hermon.

Karen Kingsbury really got me hooked on reading. She sent me a message saying she was on facebook. I like tolook her up see where she is going and I was fortunate to be able to meet her at an Extrodinary Womens Conference. Since then if a book catches my interest I like to look up the author on facebook. Yes I will buy their books, not on facebook, but at at a local book store. It gives me a better idea of what I like to read.

I have found many Christian authors here on twitter and then after ward on facebook, including yourself. Others include @cjDarlington @adamblumer @CathyBryant @TriciaGoyer just to name a very few.

Yes - actually author @travisthrasher & @jasonpinter thru Twitter!

I had known Keith Snyder as a cyclist but learned of his novels after I friended him on Facebook.

I'm losing track, quite honestly. There are writers now on my TBR list because of Twitter/FB. Essential ingredient: interaction.

Well, sure. I'd never heard of you! Or Adam Blumer! Or Sam Batterman!

I "discovered" Kathleen Poppa due to a Tweet by Tricia Goyer ... and I'm not even on Twitter!

Yep, First I found Stephen Bly and after that I started searching for my favorite authors. It has been a lot of fun.

Yes on both.

Yup, you. And Andy Andrews, Rachel Hauck, Lisa Samson, and Colleen Coble.
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What about you? Have you found new writers (new to you) or readers through Twitter and Facebook? If you're an author, are you finding your time investment worth the effort?

Related posts: Ten-point Twittequette; A Day on Twitter

The Firstborn

2009-06-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

This week, the
Christian Fiction Blog Alliance
is introducing
The Firstborn
Realms (May 5, 2009)
by
Conlan Brown

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Born in 1984, Conlan Brown was functionally illiterate until the fifth grade, when he learned how to read and write, as well as a love of story, from his grandmother. Conlan went on to start college at the age of sixteen, and now holds a Master's degree in Communication, which taught him the academic principles needed to write Firstborn.

Conlan lives on Colorado's Front Range where he is working on his next book. He enjoys video editing, film scores, and developing high octane, thought provoking fiction that turns pages and excites the senses.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Three supernatural gifts. Two thousand years of division. One moment of truth.

Hannah's head hung, long brown hair in her eyes. Her face felt pasty with cold and fatigue and pain. Arms behind her back, she sat in a chair, wrists and ankles tied to the wooden frame, chair legs bolted to the floor. A cold car. A gun. Horror. Pain. Grief. Screaming. A windshield blistering with holes. Darkness.

It all came over her like a flood. A pouring out of pictures in her mind. But then there was one more thing. Not an image, but a feeling--that half a continent away someone else had felt it all happening too.

The Firstborn, those gifted with Foresight, Hindsight, and Insight at the time of Christ's death are divided between themselves. And when an Islamic holy man is murdered outside of his mosque it becomes apparent that one of the Firstborn was to blame. Now, with the threat of a terrorist attack on an unspeakable target the Firstborn are spiraling out of control. Leaders are dying, members are being kidnapped, and unity is being forced. Three heroes, differently gifted and divided must work together to thwart those who would go too far.

Their breakneck race against time plunges them into a world of danger and through a gauntlet across the United States. From the Riverwalk of San Antonio, where Devin Bathurst, John Temple, and Hannah Rice must protect one another from assassination, to the gritty streets of Washington DC, a paramilitary compound in Pennsylvania, and ultimately back to our nation's capital, the Firstborn must unite to prevent an impending atrocity from becoming reality.

Watch The Trailer

If you would like to read the first chapter excerpt of The Firstborn, go HERE.

Path to a Villain

2009-06-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

Recently on an author's e-mail loop, Jeff Gerke, editor at Marcher Lord Press, wrote this (used with permission):
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I have been struck lately by the things people will do to not lose something they feel they need.

Whether it's power or freedom or wealth or an addiction, when the flow of goodness they've come to rely on is threatened, even the most moral people are capable of crossing any boundary.
Perhaps it's a political leader in Iran or elsewhere willing to go to any extreme to hold on to power.

Perhaps it's a sex addict who could lose his family over his addiction and can't allow that to happen.

Perhaps it's a man so afraid of losing his driver's license and going to jail that he's willing to murder a young boy.

In our fiction, we can use this dynamic to our advantage. People who would normally never even jaywalk, much less commit a felony, can be moved to embezzlement, fraud, or even murder if something vital to them is threatened.

I love studying the path a good person might take to become a villain.
-----------------

Me too, Jeff. The psychology of crime fascinates me, whether I'm watching true crime shows on TV or creating plots for my novels. People you'd never believe could murder--do. What drives them to it? How does the murderous passion grow so large that it blankets their rational thinking, especially when it comes to the possibility of getting caught?

The great thing about writing suspense is that I get to portray humanity in all its range of colors. And that is a vast spectrum, indeed.

Photo Friday!

2009-06-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, we're off again. Give the picture your best shot at a clever caption. Or two, or three. The photo will be up all weekend, so do come back at some point and vote on your favorite. The winner gets his/her choice of one of my books free.

The Amy Awards--for Article Writing

2009-06-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received the following information from Jim Barrett, Executive VP of The Amy Foundation. If you are an article writer, keep this worthwhile award in mind as you submit your work in 2009. You just might win a nice cash prize next year.
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The Amy Writing Awards is celebrating our 25th year of the program. Last year more than 600 articles were submitted. Cash prizes totaling $34,000 were presented to fifteen authors in May for articles published in 2008. These include the $10,000 first prize award, $5,000 second prize, $4,000 third prize, $3,000 fourth prize, $2,000 fifth prize, as well as ten $1,000 awards of Outstanding Merit. For articles published during 2009, prizes will be awarded in May, 2010.

The Amy Foundation Writing Awards program is designed to recognize creative, skillful writing that applies in a sensitive, thought-provoking manner the biblical principles to issues affecting the world today, with an emphasis on discipling.

To be eligible, submitted articles must be published in a secular, non-religious publication (either printed or online) and must be reinforced with at least one passage of scripture. Each author may submit up to ten entries.

There is no entry fee. A submission form is available on The Amy Foundation website. Past Amy Writing Award winning articles are posted on our website as well as printed in our annual booklet of prize-winning entries.

Entries must be postmarked on or before January 31, 2010 to qualify for the 2009 Amy Writing Awards. Please note that January 31, 2010 is a Sunday. Entries must be postmarked by that date.

May Bestseller Lists

2009-06-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

The CBA bestseller's list for May was just posted online, so we can now look at our monthly comparison between the CBA and ECPA lists for Christian fiction. For you new readers, a recap: The lists are titled differently. The CBA list title is always two months ahead of the month it's representing. Therefore its "July" list shows bestsellers in the month of May. The ECPA list title is one month ahead, so its "June" list reflects sales in May. (Although sometimes the ECPA list cuts off a little early in the month.)

Titles appearing on one list and not the other are highlighted in blue.

ECPA

1. The Shack, William P. Young, Windblown Media
2. The Secret, Beverly Lewis, Bethany House/Baker
3. Take One, Karen Kingsbury, Zondervan
4. BoneMan's Daughters, Ted Dekker, Center Street
5. Fireproof, Eric Wilson, Thomas Nelson
6. A Love to Last Forever, Tracie Peterson, Bethany House/Baker
7. Beyond This Moment, Tamera Alexander, Bethany House/Baker
8. This Side of Heaven, Karen Kingsbury, Center Street
9. Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers, Waterbrook/Multnomah
10. Double Minds, Terri Blackstock, Zondervan
11. A Claim of Her Own, Stephanie Grace Whitson, Bethany House/Baker
12. Higher Hope, Robert Whitlow, Thomas Nelson
13. Gift of Grace, Amy Clipston, Zondervan
14. A Cousin's Promise, Wanda E. Brunstetter, Barbour
15. Plain Pursuit, Beth Wiseman, Thomas Nelson
16. Showdown, Ted Dekker, Thomas Nelson
17. Real Enemy, Kathy Herman, David C. Cook
18. Every Now and Then, Karen Kingsbury, Zondervan
19. Kiss, Ted Dekker/Erin Healy, Thomas Nelson
20. Yesterday's Embers, Deborah Raney, Howard Books

CBA (Numbers in parentheses reflect placement on Top Fifty list, which includes nonfiction and fiction)

1. (2) The Shack, William P. Young, Windblown Media
2. (8) Take One, Karen Kingsbury, Zondervan
3. (15) The Secret, Beverly Lewis, Bethany House/Baker)
4. (19) BoneMan’s Daughters, Ted Dekker, Center Street
5. (39) Fireproof, Eric Wilson & Alex Kendrick, Thomas Nelson
6. (43) Redeeming Love, Francine Rivers, Multnomah/WaterBrook
7. (47) A Widow’s Hope, Mary Ellis, Harvest House
8. Higher Hope, Robert Whitlow, Thomas Nelson
9. Double Minds, Terri Blackstock, Zondervan
10. The Centurion’s Wife, Davis Bunn & Janette Oke, Bethany HouseBaker
11. A Bride in the Bargain, Deeanne Gist, Bethany House/Baker
12. A Dream to Call My Own, Tracie Peterson, Bethany House/Baker
13. A Love to Last Forever, Tracie Peterson, Bethany House/Baker
14. Cry in the Night, Colleen Coble, Thomas Nelson
15. A Gift of Grace, Amy Clipston, Zondervan
16. (tie) Sweetwater Gap, Denise Hunter, Thomas Nelson
16 (tie) Plain Pursuit, Beth Wiseman, Thomas Nelson
18. This Side of Heaven, Karen Kingsbury, Center Street
19. The Apothecary’s Daughter, Julie Klassen, Bethany House/Baker
20. A Promise to Believe In, Tracie Peterson, Bethany House/Baker

Lying to the Reader

2009-06-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

Last week when readers responded to the question, "What annoys you most when reading a novel?" one answer caught my attention. The reader said this:

When you get to the end, and the author has lied to the reader. It's one thing to pull the wool over my eyes (ala Murder of Roger Ackroyd), it's another thing to make me feel betrayed by the writer.

I agree. Surprising the reader without lying to her is a fine line that writers should not cross. The more twists you put into your stories, the more you need to toe that line. Since my Seatbelt Suspense® is all about twists, this is an issue I'm very aware of when I'm writing. A good twist fools by causing commotion elsewhere--sort of like one actor upstaging another. Once the twist is revealed the reader should be able to go back, see the foreshadowing, and say, "Ah, yes. I should have known."

So--when exactly does a writer lie to/betray the reader?

When he tells the reader something in an author narrative passage that later is revealed not to be true.

Author narrative are the key words. This is when the author is speaking directly to the reader, as in describing a character:

He stood six-four and muscular, a solid wall of a man. Women loved his masculinity;men were intimidated, many jealous. His face looked hard and worn, lines around his mouth, etching his forehead. But his eyes were gentle, true windows to his soul. This was a man who would hurt no one, lie to no one.

However, anything outside of author narrative is fair game for misleading the reader--because it's in the POV (point of view) of a character. And characters' perceptions can be inaccurate, no matter how right they think they are. This is a true protrayal of life. We can believe something or someone very sincerely, and turn out to be very wrong.

Let's say we're in the POV of the protagonist, a woman who's known the described man for ten years. They're having a conversation. She's thinking things as they talk. In the middle of their conversation, runs a similar passage.

He stood six-four and muscular, a solid wall of a man. Women loved his masculinity;men were intimidated, many jealous. His face looked hard and worn, lines around his mouth, etching his forehead. But his eyes were gentle, true windows to his soul. Stacy knew this was a man who would hurt no one, lie to no one.

Stacy may "know" it. And she may be very wrong. Of course the story would need to include foreshadowing as to the truth about this man. And when the truth is revealed the protagonist should be reeling.

But it gets a little more tricky. If an author writes in deep POV--that is, a point of view so deeply inside the character's head that everything is described as that character would perceive the world--there obviously will be no passages of description in which the author pulls back into his own narrative voice. All description will be as the character sees, feels, believes it. My books these days are always in deep POV. In the deep POV of my protagonist, in the middle of the conversation between these two characters, I could run the passage above just as it was first written:

He stood six-four and muscular, a solid wall of a man. Women loved his masculinity;men were intimidated, many jealous. His face looked hard and worn, lines around his mouth, etching his forehead. But his eyes were gentle, true windows to his soul. This was a man who would hurt no one, lie to no one.

If it turns out the man is a liar, I wouldn't be lying to my reader. I didn't tell the reader that. The character believed it. And characters can be wrong.

Readers need to understand deep POV--how to spot it, and how it works. It's easy to spot. In deep POV, when there are multiple points of view, every one will sound different, according to how that character perceives the world. The same scene would be described in very different ways, using different metaphors, depending on whose POV you're in.

Deep POV works well because it helps characterize--you hear a different voice for each character. It also gives the writer great lattitude to present thoughts to the reader that may or may not be true. This is the heart of the fun for suspense readers--trying to figure out who's right and who isn't.

Writers' Rants

2009-06-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I posted readers' rants as they answered the question, "What annoys you most when reading a novel?" Plenty of readers responded. The list, although obviously representing personal opinions, is helpful to writers as we see what readers are thinking. Over the weekend I decided to flip the question and posed this one to writers: "What annoys you most about reader feedback (via e-mail or review)? I posted this on Twitter/Facebook and through an e-mail loop of published novelists.

Writers weren't so quick to respond. After all, we love our readers and find constructive criticism and insightful reviews helpful. And we certainly understand that no book is going to be liked by everyone. No author wanted to sound ungrateful or defensive. However, given a chance to answer anonymously, quite a few authors ended up responding. As writers learned from the readers' rants, I hope you readers will find something helpful in this list, even if you don't agree with all the comments.

"What annoys you most about reader feedback?"

E-mails that criticize without spelling anything right or showing grace.

As long as it's thoughtful and well-reasoned, nothing people say bothers me much. People have their own opinions. The only time I was ever really annoyed was when a reader classified me as pacifist because one of the main characters struggled with using violence, even when it seemed the only upright answer. That reviewer was not thoughtful about the character's motivations, which were fairly complex. And clearly he had no business making assumptions about the author based on that one character.

When they get more upset about animals being hurt than people (esp. children).

I'd have to say it's the ones who seem to have nothing better to do than rip apart an author or a book. They nitpick and insult then say they'll never recommend you to another living soul. If you hated it that much, why tell the author? Then, there are the ones who didn't really read the book but they were somehow involved in a tour of it and post to say the author didn't stand a chance with them because they don't read "those types of books." Again, why are people so quick to spell out the negative and hesitate when sharing something positive or constructive? Readers, we LOVE getting feedback, even if you disagree. Just please be respectful. We're people too and having feelings.

When [the book] isn't "Christian" enough.

If everyone likes my books not enough people are reading them. Still, it seems if someone loves my work then they send a private note, and if they don't like it, they post it online somewhere. So more sharing the good stuff publicly wouldn't hurt ;)

Comments directed at my character's allegedly wrong motivations. I do try to see if I can find something worthwhile when a reader makes a negative comment, but in the case of character motivation, since I created her, I think I understand her motivation better than anyone else.

When reviewers read outside their preferred genre, then don't "get" it.

When school kids are doing their school reports on me, and expect me to do their homework. They'll say, "I'm doing my class project on your books. Please tell me about yourself, how you became a writer, how you write your books, and what your books are about. My project's due next week." All of that is available on the internet or in my books, and I don't have time to write their report for them. I have deadlines of my own!

I find it frustrating that some readers seem to expect all books to be written for them. They either don't understand preference in genre and style or they don't care. Is it a slow plot line or simply a slower paced genre? Is it too much internal monologue or a genre that is given to this style of writing? I agree that flat characters are abhorrent, but an action adventure is more plot than character, and a wise reader understands this. A wise reader selects her books carefully and is saved much of the frustration mentioned in the comments.

When they write very long emails that tell me things about their lives that have no relevance to the reason they're writing me. Short and concise gets answered most quickly.

I think what cuts the most are the reviews from so-called fellow writers. Whether they are self-pubbed, e-pubbed, pubbed with traditional publishers or not pubbed at all, just the fact that a fellow writer would say awful things and discourage readers from picking up a book. I don't expect everyone to say pretty things all the time about my stuff, but gee whiz use a little tact. I read a twitter update the other day from a reviewer who touts herself as "edgy" and she absolutely hated a book by [a certain writer] because of the edginess of the book. She trashed it and she admittedly wasn't even finished with the book. That bothers me so much. If I don't care for another writer's book I might not glow about it, but I would find something good to say. We reap what we sow whether we want to believe it or not.

I think we can't possibly understand the baggage our readers come to books with -- I remember in high school the venom I felt reading The Bell Jar. I HATED the author and being immersed in that dark place for so long. Over time I've come to see I can't be in dark places, it's against my nature, so I don't like anything about the Holocaust (haven't seen Schlinder's List), etc. But I really did blame Sylvia Plath for taking me to that place I didn't want to go. (Understanding now she committed suicide, I still wonder why we have to read the book of a madwoman in high school.) I've been accused of being anti-adoption, not understanding the plight of infertility or the pain of losing a pregnancy (been there, done that) and that opened up my eyes that people are angry. And if you touch that nerve, you will suffer the wrath. It has nothing to do with you usually. It's the emotion you stirred. Feel proud. : )

When reviewers criticize some element of the story without thinking through how changing that element would change so many other elements in the book. Sometimes it seems reviewers just go from the gut--"I didn't like that"--without any real insight as to how many other plot points, character motivations, etc. (that they did like) intertwine with that element and would fall apart without it. I suggest they go through an exercise: if they don't like a part or some technique of the book, how specifically would they have changed it? Would that change indeed make the book better, or would it unravel other necessary parts? So many reviews just seem to skim the surface. Reviewers don't like it when they think we're writing shallowly. Yet often their critical reviews are just that--shallow.

When they report errors on a fifteen-year-old book. If the book is newly released, I'm always happy to get those reports so we can fix them. But if they got an old copy of a first-printing book with an error that was fixed in later printings (a decade and a half ago), I get a little irritated. It's frustrating having to answer those same questions over and over again.

When a person writes to me asking a favor (will you read/endorse my manuscript, will you recommend me to your agent, will you write me a treatise on how to get published), when they've never read one of my books. Why do they expect me to do all that for them, when they haven't even taken the time to familiarize themselves with what I do?

When the reader takes an issue with something in the book, and it was something the editor made me write that way. GRRRR.

When people leave snarky, they-know-better comments. If they know better, why didn't THEY write the article?!?

Reviews that border on insulting.

People who dis a book based on a title or cover in the name of piousness—without even checking into the message or what the book is about or the reputation of the CBA (Christian publisher) imprint that put it out.

Those who are really looking for sermons or Bible studies rather than a novel. And then admonishing readers of even Christian fiction to use great discernment in choosing books, as even Christian fiction may not be truly Christian. I wish readers like that would simply examine whether or not they are suited for fiction—some people aren’t.

Reviewers who critique the cover and/or back cover copy--which many times I have no say in. One review was absolutely scathing about an alleged mistake in my nonfiction book, saying I'd made an outlandish claim that couldn't possibly be true. I couldn't figure out how the reviewer got that--I never said what I was accused of. Then I realized the claim came from one poorly worded sentence in the back cover copy that could be read two ways. I didn't write that copy, and had never even considered the meaning of that sentence that so set off the reviewer.

Readers who spend more time trying to look for what’s wrong (theological or otherwise) with a book rather than trying to give the story a shot. Or who assume authors approach their stories frivolously, or without great investment emotionally, financially, mentally and spiritually.

Reviewers who tell too much of the story. They should tell no more than what's on the back cover copy. Good reviews are about reader insights, not a telling of the plot. Other readers deserve to be just as surprised at the plot twists as the reviewer was allowed to be. When a reviewer gives away too much of the story, he cheats the reader!

When a reader finds something he/she doesn't agree with in the story or is offended by, then shuts the book in judgment, not trusting me enough to keep reading to see WHY I used that plot point, and how it may play out in the faith thread of the story. It's not fair to judge a book unless you've read ALL of it.

Readers who attribute the beliefs of a character (including the protagonist) to the author. Then take us to task for our wrong beliefs.

Reviewers who attack the author personally. Some of these online reviews also are very generic and could fit just about any book. Makes me wonder if this person just hates Christian fiction and hasn't read my book at all.

Readers who want CBA stories to happen in a sterile vacuum—no violence, wars, divorces, gay people, etc. etc.—and shame on writers who reference any of these items even in passing. I’m always concerned for these folks when they open their Bibles—Holy Writ must burn their retinas.

A family member who doesn't like romance read one of my manuscripts, then said pretty snottily: "teenagers would love it," as if all romance is inherently shallow and immature. I really try to write romance with substance and realism. Had I known she didn't like romance, I would never have agreed to let her read it.

Someone liked my novel and said it was authentic and fresh, but then suggested changing all its authentic, fresh elements to make it fit a tight formula.

A couple of readers who are not very good line editors tried to give me line edits. I love line edits from good editors with a grasp of prose style. I'm irritated by bad line edits from people who don't know what they're doing.

I think there’s some armchair quarterbacking that happens out there—the sense that shortcomings in the author’s work are so obvious to the reader that the reader feels they could have avoided or overcome them. The thing about quarterbacking is that it’s much easier from the armchair than the field.

I hate reviews in which a little editing knowledge proves to be a dangerous thing. The reviewer may tout himself/herself as an editor, yet can't spell and does not understand such fundamental issues as deep character POV.

A request to reviewers: Don't write anything in a review that you wouldn't say face-to-face to the author at a booksigning, or when you met them at a conference. You don't have to say you liked the book if you didn't, and we wouldn't want you to. But you also don't have to eviscerate the author in public either. Believe me, we do enough eviscerating of ourselves in private. I'm not saying a reader has to lie and say they loved a book if they didn't. I've had readers write me and say they "liked my latest book okay, but not as much as the one before," and that's a very fair statement. Shoot, there are characters I've written that I liked far more than others. That's the nature of the beast.

I really really wish reviewers wouldn't give away the ending of a story or a major plot turn. That ruins the enjoyment of discovery for the next reader. I heard a "professional reviewer" say she never tells anything that happens beyond chapter 3. I think that would be a great practice for all reviewers. If you know the end, why read the book?

I always lift verses I use in my books right from the NIV at Biblegateway.com. I've had readers [of another version] point out to me that I got a certain verse wrong. One woman in particular accused me of changing God's Word.

(1) Don't review a book through the lens of certain denominational doctrines. Fiction is just that, fiction. It's to uplift and entertain, inspire, not teach, preach or define theology. If it lines up with the whole of the Word, let it be. Not every thing Christian has to be a sermon. (2) While it's not fun to read that my work is mediocre, I like honest reviews. If the book was slow in the middle or if the characterization sagged a little, let me know, but be nice. Writers are fragile people. Don't tear the book down because it was imperfect. Look for the good. (3) Read the story for what it is, not what you want it to be. If the ending isn't Happily Ever After, can you see the author's intent and purpose with the characters? Take time to think and ponder the story before tapping out a negative review. (4) Make the review match the number of stars given on Amazon or other sites. It's frustrating as a writer and reader to see a book with a glowing review, but only have three stars. What didn't work about the book for that reviewer? (5) Remember, you're one person. A book you don't like may inspire others. Don't knock another reviewer to get potential readers to see your side.

I remember being so annoyed back in the 90s, when I read [a certain book] that I almost wrote a scathing review on Amazon. My complaint wasn’t about the subject matter, which is rough enough to take—I was annoyed by her exhausting overuse of metaphor and simile, and by golly, I was going to give it to her good. Now that I’m a published author, I’m so glad I didn’t post my review. Now I know, as others have said, that she put her heart and soul into that book, and she never set out to annoy anyone. She set out to move them. As a writer friend of mine said, “Do they even realize we’re real people?” It’s the finger-wagging, head-shaking condescension (“Ms. [Author] should know better than to . . .”) that gets my goat. I don’t think that kind of reviewer even begins to think outside herself.

When a reader tells me she loved the book and then sends me pages and pages of Bible verses to prove that I'm wrong about something that our faiths view differently. Most often it relates to things like a woman dating a divorced man (secondary character) or a divorced main character, or something like saying in a prayer "God if it's your will, please. . . ." Usually my response is to say I'm sorry if we can't see eye to eye, but I hope that you can forgive me for the difference as Jesus instructs us to do, and I let it go. When I get another letter with a new list of Bible verses, I don't respond. I'm not writing to argue scripture.

My number one annoyance with reader feedback is the assumption that if I didn't do it the way they would have, I did it wrong. Most of the things that can be changed about fiction writing are optional. Fundamental issues such as POV, diction, syntax, grammar, character voicing, narrative tone, etc, are multi-faceted creatures, and there is almost never a clear winner among all of the choices that have to be made. The assumption that my way was wrong because it wasn't the reader's way is frequently found in conjunction with the assumption that the only reason a writer puts his or her work in front of another is because the first writer can't get it right, and the second writer can help make it better. Maybe all I wanted was to know if you liked it or not. Readers don't seem to have this problem, only writers. If I craft a novella told only from one carefully controlled POV, violently beating down every other voice that tries to sneak in, and then I'm told (by a writer who has read exactly nothing else of mine) that "you will stagnate as a writer until you learn to handle multiple POVs," that's not helpful or useful. If you didn't like the tightness of the POV, say so! Don't just assume that I don't know any better! Assume that I made a choice!

I wish readers understood how many things are out of the author's control. I don't get to write every book I want to (so please don't get upset with me when a sequel isn't forthcoming), and I don't print them in my backyard (so I can't make sure they find one on the shelf when they go to their local bookstore). Those kinds of questions make me feel as if I've let them down somehow. I know that's not the intention, but I feel that way anyway.

Reviewers who have an agenda and personally attack authors for "violating" that agenda.

I'm a bargain shopper, so I understand the excitement of finding a good price on something I want. But since I make my living from the sales of these books, it doesn't make my heart go pitter-pat to know they found my most recent release on a bargain table. That can stay their little secret. lol

When readers attack my Christianity because of something in my book that they misunderstand or disagree with (or sometimes because of something I didn't include, like a salvation or baptism scene). I don't mind theological discussions when they disagree with something, but scathing attacks say much more about them than their letters say about my books. Criticism should stick to specifics about the book, not personal insults about me.

Finally, these two humorous answers on the e-mail loop:

I hate it when somebody hasn't read my books. Heh.

If there are any readers you guys are done with, I’d appreciate it if you’d pass them on to me.