Little World of Carnivas

... Way Back ...

2009-06-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

I am back in my hometown after so many years. I was not very much willing to go away, but then, during those days you respected your superiors so much. Not like the kids of these days - who respect neither their bosses, nor their teachers. Parents never figure in the scheme of things at all for them.

How long and eventful my stay was, I wonder, as the driver picks up my luggage and stacks them on the vehicle. The town has changed a lot during these 14 years. It seems like a festival season - everyone celebrating with lights, crackers and what not. Wait, my dear people, will go freshen up and join you guys soon.

When I was initially told about this new assignment at the timberland, I did not like it one bit – it was coming at the expense of my promotion – but who cared to listen to me. Superiors are superiors, aren’t they? They have their own pulls & pressures. Strange are the ways of the people on top, particularly father-figures who are strange bed fellows, rumored to have slept with one thousand people, making weird promises at the drop of a hat. Suckers!

As I said, nothing much could be done. So, accept, I did. The only good part being that I could take my wife along. My kid brother too joined me. Poor thing, he would be bored without me anyways. Wifey, good at heart, treats this kid brother as her own. He too is very respectful of her.

As the driver moves along, I realize how much the traffic has increased these days even in this town. What used to take only about 30 minutes about a decade and a half is now taking more than 2 hours! But this is a perennial thing, isn’t it? I am sure even during the mesozaic era, the dinosaurs have complained of traffic problems of some sort. Of course, we cannot speak to the dinosaurs now but for sure, we can talk to the primates who resemble us and who are friends with us. By the way, where is that primate who travelled with me? Well he is off to sleep. Hey mischievous minds, I am not calling my brother a primate, OK?

I was indeed offered the job back here when I was deep into my new assignment but I declined. Losers, they were not worth more than my dirty sandals, I said.

Wife & Bro too doze off. The journey has been pretty hard on them. Not to speak of the travails they sustained all these years. We got to plan a family soon. My wife might actually reach her menopause soon.

I have a secret suspicion that she is cheating on me. Wonder how to ask her. Don’t get me wrong. It is not that she is someone of a bad character or something. But the ‘Stockholm syndrome’ she seems to possess, pisses me off. I know, she was tricked into it by the captor and she was innocent then. But the kind of things she keeps yacking about he being pious blah blah annoys me.

Sometime soon, I will ask her to prove that she is pure, by torching herself.

Suddenly someone who knows about Sita's plight at the foreign land shouts at me ‘Ram, who knows, may be your wife slept with Ravan. Torch her and check it out’. Yes, now I get the approval.

Stone Age practice, you may say if you read this in 2009, but then it was OK 5000 years back.

****

PS:: Thanks to Panna, Soorya, Rajesh & Sheetal for comments on the draft. Submitted to a competition in aapees.

… Some 55 Words …

2009-05-31T02:23:00.001-07:00

Three “55 words” here.

Originally, I wanted to write them as short stories but they have spent too much time on my To-Do list without any action. So 55 words, they become.

Don’t believe the watchmen

"House-warming… Sathish?"

Directed to left.

Lots of shoes. Tam-Bram noises. Smell of coffee.

Mamis in madisar, younger generation in jeans. Many smiled. One offered coffee. None, I knew: Should have come with Krishnan.

“Sathish” came out. Oh no - Wrong house. Escaaape.

Another house there - Tam-bram noises. Lot of shoes . Is that Krishnan's?

God & Alcohol

"Life after death? Bullshit. To you – God, to me - Alcohol, forget-sorrow-mechanisms"

As usual, wants her to agree. She ignores: writes Sriramajayam the millionth time. Ruined finances took him to drinking, her to God.

No food on the table. He turns angrily - to see his own photo above her head, with a garland.

Daily Ritual

He shut the door.

Google Wave video, mention to Prakash, Presentation to boss, Impress, India making such a product? Forget it.

Ramya angry, always complains, I need my space, tell her, be harsh? Forget it.

MasalaBabes, good site, cleavage shows, Ash videos? Hey Forget it.

Coffee, hungry…

Beep beep. Done with Meditation. Reach God soon?

... The Secret Angel ...

2009-05-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

[Published on the day of the first anniversary of my engagement. Readers are free to make their own interpretations] :=)

"Abhey Venkee, Facial kar le... That is when Meghna's Dad will like you..." said Kapil as he left the salon.

"HaHa no yaar... Bas hair cutting will do"

The salon guy got interested.

"Going to see girl, Sir?"

I did not like it but cannot help. Most hairdressers in Bangalore are Telugu people. And are talkative.

"Yes"

"Sir, facial will be good for you... See lot of blackheads on nose..."

"That is OK yaar... Just hair-cutting... I am getting late..."

"I will finish in 15 minutes Sir"

I yielded. For the first time in my life. Was I really worried that Meghna's dad would reject me? If the question on your mind is - "Why the Dad and not the girl would reject" - it is not entirely a wrong question. Read the story and you will know.

As he started applying some Goddamned cream on my face

"I am surprised yours is arranged marriage, Sir. These days all IT peeppul only love marriage"

"Who told you mine is an arranged marriage?"

"Love marriage Sir?"

"Actually both... What is this that you are applying? I get a burning sensation"

"Sir this is bleaching... will do this first and then facial..."

"My God, you said 15 minutes..."

"That is for facial Sir.. This will take only 30 minutes..."

Shit man. Got fooled.

"Total how much time"

"About one and a half hour Sir"

"Oh God..."

A Telugu movie starring the great (d)Rama Rao was playing in the TV there.

After 5 minutes, "Bored Sir?"

"Indeed man"

"Tell me your marriage story Sir... Is this love and then arranged Sir?"

God, he will not leave me. So my dear readers, as I narrate the story to him, you too get to hear.

*************************

Momentous day #1

'But this is NOT what I wanted...' shouted that girl who in the opinion of my trained eyes (!) was about to be twenty.

'Ma'am... I remember hearing it well... You wanted it crispy.... May be, may be you forgot...' mumbled the hapless waiter.

'You are trying to ARGUE with me? I want to talk to the manager RIGHT now!!' she screamed.

'Calm down, Riddi... That is OK....' said an early-twenties-thing who had come along with her. They were about 5-6 of them, all kids (kids = college going chicks). Should be from Hill Caramel I thought. They frequent this Chinese joint in Cunningham Road as much as we do. Not that we visit the place for that purpose though :-) But I should say it is indeed refreshing to be in Cunningham mid-way through work.

The waiter started sweating. Poor guy. I felt bad for him. I got very angry at this girl. This is not the way to behave - not at least when some people are discussing something serious in the next table! Yeah you guessed it, I was there with my friends having lunch, discussing about our planned venture. All of us were at an MNC in Millers Road with 'an itch in you-know-where'. It was boom-time in the Indian economy and quitting a high-paying job at an MNC to 'follow the heart' (as it was called then) was in vogue.

The poor guy went to bring his manager.

And to my surprise, these things started giggling.

'Bechara, aisa kyon karti ho... You ordered it crispy na? Tum to choupsey ho to hamesha crispy lete ho'

'Arey.. He deserves it... Bahut flirt karne ki koshish karta hai na...'

'Oh Common... Woh to sab karte hain...'

I know that the HC (as the Hill Caramel people called it) girls have this 'attitude' in them. The one who shouted had loads of them. The one who pacified her was also no less. I was continuously staring at her with a frown. We were all silent. First, I hate girls with attitude. If there is something that can cause me more anger than the sight of a girl with attitude, it is when I see her giggling. And it was happening here. My friends realized that I was about to lose temper and were signaling our waiter to get the bill soon. But they could not stop what was a life-changing event for me.

The manager and the waiter came.

'Ma'am, any problems?'

'Your waiter did not tell you?'

'...' he turned towards the waiter. I knew that he knew - It was part of their protocol for the manager to get angry at the waiter. Customer is always King. The manager would have been taught this in his Services Management course!!

'See... I wanted American Choupsey non-crispy... And he brought me a crispy one...'

'I am so sorry Ma'am... We will just replace it...'

'I do not want anything... It is too late now... But I will not pay for it...'

'That is OK ma'am... But please accept our apologies and let us serve you what you wanted...'

'I said I do not want...' she screamed again.

That is when I lost whatever little patience was left in me!

'Hey listen... I overheard whatever you guys were talking when that guy was away... Why do you do this? Don't you understand there are others here? Don't you know how to behave in a public place?'

'What is YOUR problem???' said that early-twenties-thing (ETT).

'My problem is that you guys are creating a mess and spoiling my lunch. Now, just shut up and get out of here!'

There was a bit of commotion among them. And they slowly went away. ETT alone waited to pay the bills. We both were staring at each other with all contempt in the world. My friends had finished paying our bills and they dragged me out.

'Venkee, these Hill Caramel girls are dangerous. The children of all big-shots in Bangalore study here.'

'God knows whose daughter you just insulted'.

'Don't be surprised if a tempo full of goondas reach your place tonight'

were all some of the comments my friends (especially Kapil) gave. But my thoughts were all fixated at the girl who looked into my eyes and asked 'What is YOUR problem?'. I was thoroughly pissed off with her now, more than the girl who screamed at the waiter. Or so I thought.

*************

"Looks like Junior NTR story Sir...". I was not sure if he was complimenting me or ridiculing Junior NTR. I smiled.

He removed the bleaching thing (they use it to clean toilets, no?) and started blowing hot air from a small hand fan onto my face. It was so hot that I almost wept.

"Thinking about Madam, Sir?"

"Hell with you, take the fan out man"

"That is OK Sir".

I got to say if it was OK or not, bloody hell.

He started applying something else on my face now. It was stinking.

"Okay, continue the story Sir"

*************

Momentous day #2

If your expectation is that it was not our last meeting, you are correct. In the next couple of weeks, we happened to meet at Infinitea, Pizza Hut, Cafe Coffee Day and even outside Chandrika (Sagar style restaurant) where I used to puff my stress out every evening. Almost all the times, when they would look at us, they would all giggle. I was pretty sure that they were making fun of me/us. But my friends would restrain me from getting into an altercation with them. Even I felt it was not wise to go fight with some immature college-kids. But that was not to continue for long. My anger at the ETT only multiplied every time I saw her.

One day when Kapil and I were on our way back from an after-lunch walk, the girls were standing at the Baskin-Robbins take-away shop. And as usual they started giggling. Kapil was in a hurry to reach office, his boss had called him up asking for a useless report. He advised me not to react but I could not. I told him to leave. He told me to close this issue once for all and then come to the office. I stood there. And gave a complete minute-long stare without saying a word. The girls were obviously taken aback. They fell silent and were looked very uneasy.

Content that my ploy worked, I started walking towards the office. After I took a few steps,

'Excuse me...'

I turned back. It was the ETT. The group behind was still giggling.

'Can I have a minute of yours?'

'...'

I stood silent. Is it not 'May I have..', I thought Hill Caramel imparted good English knowledge.

'I am extremely sorry...'

'... Sorry??'

I wore a confused look.

'Er... I said I am sorry.... It was our fault that day... We should not have behaved like that... But you know, when we are in a group, we tend to lose some decency'.

'That is OK... In fact.. In fact I should not have shouted at you guys too... It was none of my business'

What was happening to me? I was supposed to be angry with this girl and I am talking so softly. Luckily, Kapil went away, else my 'hardliner' image would have taken a beating.

'Hey no... There was no mistake at your end.... Actually I have been wanting to apologize to you for long... But my friends would make fun and not let me...' Indeed, they were still giggling there.

Why was I getting suddenly conscious about my looks! She was certainly not the first girl to talk to me. I have frowned upon so many girls before that have tried to be 'friends' with me. But now? Am I actually flirting?? I was really confused.

'Well, good we talked it out today... By the way, I am Venkee"

"I am Meghna"

"Meghna! Nice name. Alright Meghna, I got to go now... See you then'

'Oh... yeah... we are jobless.. I know you would be busy... See you then... But when & where?'

'...'

I should say I was indeed stumped.

'Tomorrow evening at the Coffee Day in MG Road?' How the mind works overtime in times like these. I knew that Cunningham Road Coffee Day is not the best place with a lot of my friends and colleagues passing by.

'Sure... My classes get over by 4-30... Is 5 OK?'

'Oh no problem... By the way I can pick you up from your college if needed...'

'That would be great...'

I could just not believe what I had done. I was not a 'girls-guy' at all. And in a matter of minutes, I have fixed the time for my first date! God, is this true??

*****************

"Oh super love story Sir, first fight and then love-ahhhhhh..." What an horrible slur these people have.

He had finished applying the cream now. And put on those cucumber pieces on my eyes. I had only seen them on top of women's eyes in TVs and films. Do they put in on men too? Is he cheating?

He chose a comfortable seat and thankfully switched off the TV. My story was better than old NTR movies I believe.

"Then what happened Sir?"

*************

The Next Day & What happened after!

I told my friends that I had an appointment with an angel and left office early. It was not my mistake if they thought it was an angel investor!

Riding an Avenger itself is fun. With a girl sitting behind you, it is even better! Applied the 'longest-path' algorithm and took her to MG Road. She spoke. And spoke. And spoke. And spoke. And spoke. Yeah she spoke so much that it was 4 hours before we realized. It was time for her "special classes" to get over so had to get back home. Of course, I dropped her off near her home at Ulsoor.

This one day should stand as one of the most important days in my life. I do not have sisters, nor any close enough she-cousins. My schooling was in an all-boys school and in engineering, you know the ratio of boys to girls. Even the few ones that are around are usually 'already taken'. That left me with a life that had been spent entirely without any interaction with members of a group that comprised half of the world population! (Forget mothers, they are 'mothers', more than women, no?). I was fully immersed in what you may like to call 'love'. I was really not sure if she shared the same feelings. After all, she had been brought up in a 'city' all through - with boys-voys in every school/tuition she had attended. And I was a small-town boy trying to establish myself in the big-bad city (just feels good to write this way, don't mind!)

She was so open and cheerful. We had several common interests ranging from psychology to epistemology. [See, writing words like epistemology gives an author some ego boost. And it also gives the reader an impression that s/he is reading something worthwhile & important. So it is essential for such words to be sprinkled across]

Among so many things she said, I remembered only the last thing. They 'played' something called 'Secret Angel' in her college and the game was about to start the next day - so she was all excited about it. It was amusing to know that people can get excited about such things - I thought only 'productive good-to-the-society' kind of things should excite someone, not something as simple as secret angel or who will win Indian Idol. In my opinion, reading newspapers was a low-value activity. Watching TV was actually a crime - Then!

I owe the reader an explanation here on what "secret angel" is. In short, here it is - Every girl in the class is told to 'gift' another girl (chosen by lot) everyday for the next 7 days without revealing her identity. After receiving gifts for 7 days, you get to know who the 'angel' who gifted you was. Nothing more. Sounds childish, no?

I went back and told my partners that this angel (investor as they thought) was no good and we should look for another. In my mind though, I was clear that this was THE angel.

The next week was fully spent in actually creating our business plan - marketing plans, customer acquisition strategy, partners acquisition strategy, cash flow analysis and what not! In case you are interested, our business plan was simple - To aggregate bus tickets from all private bus operators in Bangalore and sell it over the Internet. This actually was an issue that each one of us suffered from – Every time we needed to go home (as in - to our native towns), we should go stand in queues of the bus operators in Madiwala, Kalasipalayam etc and if we were lucky, we would get a ticket. Only a few had online ticket booking facility but there was no one to aggregate all of it. So our plan was to aggregate tickets and sell it at 50 bucks more. A customer problem is solved, dynamic ticketing mechanism for suppliers (bus operators) provided and the extraneous middlemen cut off (travel agents). Oh yeah, we were the new middlemen but 'good' ones - if such middlemen exist :) We had even named our company as 'Orange Bus'.

I do understand here that the reader is bored with this and wants to read the love story further. So let us continue with that.

Over that week, I would receive SMS-es and emails from my 'angel' about the gifts she received that day and how it was something 'exactly' what she liked or wanted. ((Well I got to know during this time that something called 'nail polish remover' existed and someone can actually be happy getting that as a gift!!)) There was no time to meet up so I had told her that we would meet up a week later. If I remember well, during the first six days, she had received a cosmetics-kit (including nail polish & its remover), a CD with all her favorite songs, a pair of salwar kameez, a necklace with a pendant, a box full of chocolates and a pair of footwear (that lifts you 5 inches above the ground).

On the seventh day, I got a call from her.

"Hi Meghna.."

"Venkee..."

"Yes Meghna"

"Was that you all along?"

"..." The tone was not harsh, so she should have indeed liked it.

"Venkee... Thank you so much... I never expected this... You made the 7 happiest days in my life" (So friends, see above the list of things that can make someone's 'happiest' day!)

"Thank you, Meghna... I am glad you liked those gifts... And... and... is my invite to Tandoor this evening accepted?"

"Indeed Venkee... I have no words to thank you... I... I... love you so much"

Do I need to further elaborate about what happened at Tandoor? She was as gorgeous as ever - stunningly beautiful (bolna padta hai bhai) and was the cynosure of all eyes (this because I like using complex words!). We got a wonderful corner table where we could express our love to each other as only we could - A perfect romantic date it was!

For the alert reader who sees something missing - I had bribed the real 'secret angel' who was supposed to gift her. And I gifted her all those things by asking her friends what she liked. On the seventh day, she received a letter signed by me that said - The final gift I would like to give is just myself. Please come to Tandoor at 730 pm if you like this gift.

*****************

"Sir one minute..." he said and went out. I could hear him talk outside. He was driving out other customers.

"Today holiday... No, that is urgent customer... Please come tomorrow" He came back.

"Hey why did you send off someone?"

"Good story Sir... I can't listen if I start working"

"Foolish of you man..."

"Sir, you impressed Madam so well Sir... And then full duet only Sir?" he chuckled as if he saw a porn actress with clothes on.

*************

The days thereafter.

We continued to talk to angels (investors) and VCs with no success. Meanwhile, Meghna completed her masters and stopped going to Hill Caramel. Which means, our meetings became restricted. Her family moved from Ulsoor to Tippasandra. She joined a school in Indira Nagar as a teacher. I quit my job to focus on the venture - moonlighting was taking us nowhere. For the convenience of meeting up with her often, I moved my residence to Indira Nagar too - with the pretext of staying close to my other partners. To my parents, it was because I could go to 'Uncle's place' often. How this sudden love for Uncles erupted, nobody questioned. They were anyways already worried about my life (how can someone with no background in business succeed in business - was their refrain) that this was not high on their mind.

So it was all about website development, talking to bus operators, talking to VCs, meeting up with her - all the way till our dreams came crashing one day! Someone had already done 'Red Bus' - They too had a similar issue with going to their native towns, they too thought of the same solution - but they found the VC earlier. We were devastated - not that two players cannot exist in this business - but no VC was anymore going to think of our idea as original. We did not want to tweak our model anymore - in our opinion, that was the optimal. We just wished the Red Bus guys good luck and started thinking about a new idea. But we were so engrossed by our original idea that we all had big blocks to think of anything new. We did think of a few but there was no consensus on any. All of us started blaming each other for the failure - I was singled out more often because I was not doing a good job of finding out VCs, I was behind a girl, after all. As they say, success has many fathers while failure has none. We fell apart in a few months and each of us found jobs in MNCs again - I chose one at Bagmane Tech Park, near to Tippasandra.

To the by-now-bored reader that needs juicy stuff - sorry, I have promised Meghna that I will never reveal anything about our smooch sessions at Old Madras Road (and getting scolded by Army men) and our stealth trip to Goa (she went on a school excursion to a hydro-electric power generation site at a nondescript town called Sileru and I went to a business meeting in Delhi - as far our parents were concerned).

My parents were a happy lot - I was back to being a spineless guy bending over backwards to please my MNC bosses. I again made business plans and proposals for the Indian arm of the MNC - but without any passion as I had before. Needless to say, most of them got rejected without a reason - but this time it did not hurt me too as much.

Her parents were also happy - their daughter had successfully completed studies and was standing on her own legs, whatever that means! Her brother was also completing studies soon and was planning to fly off to some other country.

What do happy parents do? Yes you guessed it right - they wish to ruin the happiness of their children - by getting them married. So did these two sets of parents from our story also.

Both of our parents were so traditional that they were going to be dead against love - even if both of us spoke the same language, followed (or did not follow!) the same religion and belonged to the same caste & sub-caste too (& different gothras if I may add - this is one of the important criteria - you should be from different gothras). To them, love is just love and love marriage simply means illicit marriage.

So we decided that we better never talk about love to our parents and just follow what they said. Yes you read it right - we decided to marry whoever our parents chose.

*****************

There was a call on my mobile. I asked him to disconnect the call. I was in no position to answer then.

"Man, it is itching, please remove this... I think it is more than an hour now..."

"No Sir, only 10 minutes..."

"Hey no for sure... Please..."

"Very interesting point in the story Sir... You left Madam? She dint cry? How can you do this Sir"

"Dude, I cant bear this... Please take this off" and I threw those cucumber pieces.

"You finish story soon Sir"

He was blackmailing. I had to continue.

*************

The 'Arranged' Love Marriage

After a lot of usual natak that all eligible boys do, I agreed to get married. But I did irritate my parents by continuously narrating how outdated their system was - to float around the horoscope, wait for one of the relatives/acquaintance to respond about a girl in some crazy village and decide about marriage without ever doing any background check on the person. I compared that with the hiring process of a company - how efficiently it is done and how they do background check - to someone who will work only for a few years. But before marriage, these people were not doing any background checks.

Fed up by my arguments, my parents agreed to my ideas. I was at least agreeing to get married. No floating around horoscopes with relatives but do it online - register at the popular matrimony site! Needless to say, she did the same thing at her place.

Here is where, ladies & gentlemen, the genius of our idea resides. We both had become 'profiles' in the same matrimony site. Now, is it not just a question of making the parents 'like' our profiles? Post that, we WOULD listen to our parents, wouldn't we?

To start with, I gave my parents the exact set of requirements I had - The girl should be from Bangalore, should be a teacher and should have a brother. I had a few more rules so that they do not get any doubts but these were enough for them to reject a lot of profiles. Believe me, there are not so many 'teachers' in Bangalore who are from my caste and speak my language! I stopped short of saying - The girl should be called Meghna and should be living at Tippasandra.

Slowly but steadily, other profiles were getting rejected. I added more and more details to my profile that would attract fathers with beautiful daughters. My education, my (actually non-existent) “teetotalling” characteristic and the high salary the MNC paid me were all added. My parents were not too happy, they wanted the girls' side to approach first and then ask for details like salary. But I was in a hurry - after all, several of my competitors were from the US and fathers of beautiful girls naturally liked them more. One of Meghna's requirement was that she would continue to live in India - but still her father was not very convinced.

Whatever SEO (Search-Engine Optimization) techniques I employed at my venture were nothing compared to the Profile-Search-Optimizations I did for this. Profiles were updated everyday (to be on top), maximum money paid (paid profiles appear in a box and are more visible) and in fact I wrote HTML tags to show some fields in BOLD. (Talk to me if you want more tips on this)

In a couple of weeks, her father spotted my profile. But he just bookmarked it but did not act on it. We were pissed off. After another week, in an uninterested manner, he showed my profile to her. Very happy deep inside but showing an uninterested face, she too said - Okkkay... And they 'Expressed Interest'. Boy, then my father took his own time to show her profile to me - after all, it had everything I wanted - what was holding him back, I do not know! Fathers and their forgetful ways, my God! After my 'reluctant' approval, the fathers exchanged mails and phone calls. My parents flew down to Bangalore to visit them - after all, according to our family tradition, I was supposed to see the girl only after the parents approved. ;-)

*****

"Wow Sir... You are criminal..." What a certificate I earned from a salon guy!

"HaHaHa, chalo yaar, ab chodo mujhe... I got to go... My face is itching like hell..."

He started cleaning my face.

"Then what happened Sir?"

"Kahani katam yaar... My parents visited her yesterday... They liked... and they want me to visit her today... Imagine, they introducing her to me! HaHaHa..."

My first facial was finally done. I decided against the hair-cut. It was already very late.

"Sir, this should be made a movie..." he said as he collected money from me.

Bloody hell, he charged 1500 bucks for hearing my story and wasting my 2 hours.

*****

When it all backfired

As I moved out of the salon, I noticed that there were 5 missed calls from my father. The moron had put it on silent mode when he disconnected the call earlier. I immediately called my Dad.

"Yeah Dad..."

"Venkee... Some bad news..."

"..."

"Since you were cribbing about our process of finding a girl with no background check, I did some background checking through your uncle" (the one in Tippasandra).

"..."

"He spoke to a few people in the marketplace and found that this girl actually had a boy-friend... A lot of people have spotted them in different places..."

"..."

"I asked the girl's father politely if there was anything like that but he outright denies it..."

"..."

"You stand vindicated Venkee... Our process indeed sucks... Background check SHOULD be done... I feel we should cancel this alliance, what do you say?"

... Just another New Year wish!! ...

2008-12-31T03:17:00.000-08:00

Hiya Friend,

Wish you a fun-filled, exuberant & peaceful year ahead!!

May all that you wish for come true!!

(Hey naughty, only the legal, ethical and moral ones will come true! OK??)

And yeah, if you have been watching a lot of TV of late (and more importantly, have invested a lot a money in stocks), you would have heard about how 2008 was bad for you, the society, the country and the world!! Doubts are being raised on how 2009 will fare!!!

Just as the joke on smoking goes - "After I read a lot about how smoking was injurious to health, I quit.... reading" - the solution to escape from all these is of course - to stop watching TV. :-)

Nevertheless, let us believe that this is only a phase of our life! After all, there should be difficult times for us to feel good when there are better times, no?

I heard this story recently:

A person was narrating the story of his life to his grandson. His parents were happily married, had three children, led a happy life and died peacefully. His wife's parents were also happily married, had three children, led a happy life and died peacefully. His siblings too led a happy life. Same with his wife's siblings! The grandfather himself was also happily married, had two children, who were also very happy in their lives. Finally, he was peacefully approaching his death.

Apparently, just as you are, the child hearing the story was also very bored with this. :-)

Which brings us to the moral of the story - Happiness all around is so boring! We need gloomy times to feel good at other times!

So, let us pray for not, but just in case, in 2009, you are not going to get a raise, not going to get a promotion, not going to get that dream job, your portfolio balances not reaching the previous highs - don't feel bad. It is only an indication of better times coming!! And an assurance that you will feel good in times to come!

Kahani abhi baaki hai, mere dost!!

After all, without these, we may not have an interesting story to tell our grandchildren :-)

As we end this just another New Year wish, let me say that again - Wish you a fun-filled, exuberant and peaceful year ahead. May all that you wish for come true!!

Have fun. :-)

... PGSEM Student Ko Gussa Kyon Aata Hai? ...

2008-12-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

We all know that PGSEM Students (well most of them) are a bunch of moan-groan society. Poor guys, they do it for various reasons - They got to balance work, studies, family etc etc. Nevertheless, all that is expected of an MBA student, no? Even regular MBA guys work in consulting projects during their coursework and make extra bucks!

Here is an endeavor to find what ails PGSEM students and why do they get so angry! Is it only because they do not get placed somewhere? Do they even deserve that?

Please leave your comment below! Or send an email to carnivas at gmail dot com.

Your opinion could be anything from

"PGSEM Students are all uncles. As we know, our brain cells stop growing from the time we are 20 years! When these guys join at 30+ years, their IQ levels are already so low that they cannot do a thing well - but still they need placements"

"PGSEM Students do not have the initiative to do any meaningful thing, they need to be spoon-fed (or worse, you know what I mean) everything! They are not half deserving to get placements"

"PGSEM students are good at only talking but cant move their you-know-what to get a thing done"

to the usual

"PGSEM Students bring in the right mixture of experience & youth. They are THE right people for MBA and THEY DESERVE PLACEMENTS".

Go ahead, please voice your comment below!! (Please refrain from using unparliamentary words though!)

[These comments above were only to set your imagination and do not represent the thinking of the author! In any case, the author does not live in HSR Layout and does not work at Bagmane Tech Park, so please do not send autos there! :) ]

Tiffin & Lunch

2008-11-23T05:15:00.000-08:00

"Tiffin should have shortened the lunch interval" says this news.

;-)

... Golden Ears ...

2008-09-07T05:01:00.000-07:00

Submitted for this

"The old man is dead", declared the doctor. Doctors can be emotionless.

"Finally!" everyone sighed. When you live long, even loved ones can get emotionless.

"Let us open the journal", the eldest son said.

"Should we not call some lawyers?" asked his wife.

"This is no will. He made no money to write one. Just some thoughts of his! He wanted us to read after he is dead", another son mentioned.

"Don’t say 'dead'. ‘After his soul leaves the physical manifestation’ is how he would put it".

At 102, his family tree was so big that it is impossible to mention who spoke.

"Let us dismantle his laboratory and make more rooms.”

“He thought of himself as an alchemist.”

Everyone laughed.

"Is it so important to read that?"

"At least he made us feel so"

They finally opened it.

“You are about to find a treasure. Go to my laboratory, open the box with the note ELIXIR, bring out three spoons of the yellowish fluid and pour over my navel. Just three spoons it is. Once you do it, the next lines will appear here”.

"Don’t do anything. We are being fooled here. Get him to the crematorium fast"

"Who knows, we may actually find some treasure?"

"You think the next lines will appear after we do?"

"Let us try"

They did. He turned green. To their awe, the next line appeared on the journal.

“Good job. Next step is very important. Go to the fourth shelf in the laboratory - with a note -40F. Pick out the bottle of LEAD, heat it up to 150F and pour it into my ears, exactly 10ml in each ear. Be careful, else you may lose your treasure.”

"This is getting crazy. Was he into black magic? How will this get me the treasure?"

"Please make it get *us* the treasure."

They did it half-heartedly. They heated it up only up to 140F. No new line appeared. The old man's ears fell off. A new line appeared - Try again. They did, with more caution. Pouring the lead into the ear-hole was tough. But they managed to. A new line appeared.

“Lousy people!! Be careful at this final step. Open the fifth shelf under my table. You see a note as 'PHILOSOPHER'S STONE'. Get it here and hit my butt forcefully 5 times. Only 5 times!!”

Every one of them had goose pimples. They did, without speaking a word.

Very Good! Now go to the laboratory. Shut the door and search for pieces of gold in every shelf there. Every one of you, go there. What you find is yours.

They found nothing. They looked at the journal to see for more notes.

I am sorry to have fooled you. Your treasure is right here. I have turned my bed into gold. See you all.

The old man, including his physical manifestation had gone.

"He indeed is an alchemist", they said.

His ears were lying there. They too had turned gold.

... The Spirited Journal ...

2008-09-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

Submitted for this

"Even today, he started demanding food from my wife like my brother used to; supervising her all through - right from cutting vegetables through cooking till the food was served"

"From when?"

"Last week, Sir. After my brother committed suicide! They liked each other a lot"

"You feel your brother's spirits make him behave like this?"

"Yes Sir, please help us get rid of it"

"Why was your brother behaving like that?"

"He was mentally unstable. Someone hit him on the head a couple of years back. He was in an asylum since then. He seemed to be OK so brought him home. He started behaving weird soon. Before we could send him back to the asylum, he committed suicide... And now my son too....” cried the young man.

"Don't worry, son. I shall help you. Let me stay at your home for a day"

"Thank you, Sir. With pleasure! Get us rid of that evil spirit."

After the young man left, the priest told over phone, "We are close to catching them, Sir"

******

"Hey kiddo, what are you reading?" asked the priest

"A journal"

"What is written in it?"

"Nothing that would interest you"

"Uh Oh... See, I am your friend... I have some chocolates for you... Please have them"

Soon after the kid slept, the priest came out of the room and said, "I will leave now. Tomorrow, if your son tries to enter the bathroom when your wife is in, drag him out and let me know"

"What?"

"Do not worry, he will be alright"

On his way back, "We were correct, Sir. It does not look like a suicide. We will nail them in the morning" said the priest over phone

******

"Sir, my son entered the bathroom"

"Good, how did your wife react?"

"That is what is surprising me Sir. She started thrashing him. She knows he is possessed by a spirit but when he entered the bathroom, she could not take it"

"Well, the case is closed."

"What case, Sir?"

"Call me *inspector*". He walked into the house and arrested the young man's wife.

"What is happening, Inspector?"

"I’ll put it short. Your brother loved your wife, before your marriage. They lived together; she did all he said, except making love. Once when he desperately entered the bathroom, she hit him. He became mentally unstable. He joined the asylum and she married you."

“ …”

"Once he came home, he saw her as your wife and could not take it. He opened his old journal and made her do all she did before... And one day, he entered the bathroom... She hit him again, this time very hard, that he died... She made it look like a suicide..."

“…”

"Your son saw that killing... It affected him... He got the journal also to read... He loved his uncle… He was taking revenge by making her do it all over..."

The police party left. The young man's son was busy burning the journal.

... The Blackberry ...

2008-09-07T04:56:00.000-07:00

Submitted for this

"Time to start looking for a house", I told Rohan the umpteenth time.

Rohan did not bother. That is his habit. He never listens to me. His official work always gets priority. He is one of those crazy corporate executives, who work for 75+ hours a week. The involvement in community work takes another 20 hours. He spends at least 30 hours a week just on the road. Family comes nowhere in the picture. When news about his friends taking their families away on a vacation comes, he just chooses to ignore that. Even when the children question him on that, he just shrugs and moves on.

I waited for about an hour. "We are already late by 4 days and 13 hours, Rohan", I said. He just did not panic. He has this habit of brushing aside things.

I understand he is busy; he has one hundred things to do. But that does not mean that he can treat me like this. It is his responsibility anyways. I am there only to help him. What can I do, that an MBA from Wharton chooses not do? When it is late, it is he who the landlord will question. We will have no place to stay but what can I do now, more than reminding him? Honestly, I feel he is not managing his time well. He spends crazy number of hours on trivial tasks and spends less time on important projects. This lifestyle brings with it all kinds of health ailments and he will end up as a heart patient in just a few years. Please do not get me wrong. I am not telling that he should get sick. But I am concerned he will get sick. After all, I do not exist without Rohan. He knows that. That is the reason he ignores me.

For a moment, listen to his time management skills. He uses a lot of tools. But what use is tools are when your intent is not clear? Initially, he used to have pieces of paper, where he would scribble all his thoughts as a journal and knock them off one by one. But with time, the papers would grow in number and it was difficult to manage. He would spend a lot of time re-reading the papers and writing a new comprehensive journal. Then it was PC based journaling software. Soon, every 5 minutes, his journal window would pop-out with a new task or with a reminder for an old task. And he would religiously “snooze” them. He would have spent several hours in just pressing the snooze button. Even with that software, he had issues in synchronizing between home and office PCs.

"Rohan, it is really late now" I shouted. He gave me a cold stare and dismissed my message.

He has recently bought me, to sync between the home and office journals and remind him even when on the road. But I am a tool also, after all, no?

... Being a PGSEM-er ...

2008-08-19T22:06:00.000-07:00

I read an article on "Being Twenty Something" a few years back... I could not relate to it well then... As I was clearing a few folders in my PC, I chanced upon that article now... As I am about to complete PGSEM, I see that I can easily relate to it... :)

The article (with a few portions removed) here. The author is unknown.

_______________________

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis" It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

... Photo Funia ...

2008-07-23T01:59:00.000-07:00

After "animoto", here is one more photo service I found good.

Do check out http://www.photofunia.com/

PS::: No, this has not become a recommendations blog. Posts are on the way :-)

... Engagement Video ...

2008-05-30T20:48:00.001-07:00

Heard about this ANIMOTO thing and wanted to try. This is the short video I could create for free :-)

More photos here

... The Tall Story ...

2008-02-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

Submitted for this

********************

"From when has your son been missing?" asked the officer.

"Last two days. After he had that goddamned dream"

"Dream?"

"About people from the future visiting him... He went to meet them... It came in the papers..."

The blink from the network port on the computer was vigorous.

"I don’t read them... Tell me in detail..."

"He dreamt about people from 2308 AD visiting him in the town-hall... telling how humans would be wiped out by Martians with help of computers..."

"That sounds like a cheap Hollywood flick..."

"He believed it... He even got an appointment by email..."

"Crazy... "

"I too thought so... Till he went missing..."

"Any enemies? Why is this light blinking like hell on the computer?"

"Not the kind who would kidnap..."

"He said something more?"

"Yes!! That the human race would be erased one at a time..."

"That would be tough, 6 billion and counting...” chuckled the officer.

"It would not! Understand the power of compounding? Once you are an object, you can be instantiated any number of times, unless you are a singleton…” said a new voice from a strange looking man.

The old man fainted.

“Who are you?” asked the officer.

“I am the one who went missing”

“Where were you? Are you OK?” the officer offered to shake hands. He found two right hands there.

“You seem not OK... Hey who are you?”

“I am the one who went missing”

“Where did you go?”

“They took me, the Martians… Changed my brain with their chips… I am an object now… Came here via the network”

“That is a tall story, son. Who are you? Where are you coming from?”

“Tall story indeed… From Olympus Mons! You too are invited”

Both of them vanished and the network port blinked vigorously.

2008-02-01T04:05:00.000-08:00

R.I.P (31-Jan-2008)

Karthik Srinivasan
Software Development Professional

Roles: Software Development; Software Development Project Management.

Genesis (01-Feb-2008)

Karthik Srinivasan
Marketing Professional

Tentative Roles: Analysis of mobile market trends; Create alliances with mobile operators; Localization of mobile solutions to India; Outsource solution development to partners

Seeks your blessings & wishes!

(This is in the same company he worked for; but in a different division)

... Real students of IIM Bangalore ...

2008-01-14T01:06:00.000-08:00

Something funny happened in the office today.

Though very tired, I was in a happy mood in general, patting myself on the back for the good turn out of Convergenz and that the event can be considered a reasonable success!

A colleague of mine (who had come to Convergenz yesterday) and I were discussing about the event when another colleaugue peeped in. The first colleague had apparently spoken with the second one about the event a little while earlier. The second also knows that I am doing PGSEM & stuff.

She asked me, "Did you also go to IIM-B yesterday?"

"Yes"

The first colleague was a bit surprised. He thought the second one was making fun and so said jokingly,

"No, I was the organizer and Karthik participated in it"

The second one brushed him aside and asked me again,

"Did you go?"

I was just silent. Then the first one said,

"Hey he was one of the organizers for this event"

"Oh, I thought IIM-B organized it"

I could not resist speaking here.

"IIM-B is just bricks and stones. You need some humans to organize and I was one among them"

"Oh, is it.. I did not know that you were the organizer... I thought the REAL STUDENTS of IIM-B were the organizers"

I silently picked up my lunch box and went for food.

Someone please tell me who a REAL STUDENT is.

Am I living in The Matrix or something? :-)

... Shivanjali ...

2007-10-14T04:54:00.000-07:00

For a moment, I thought the girl in the pink churidar to be Anjali. I realized quickly that it was not her and looked at the display board for what to order. Ordered a chef’s special masala dosa. It would take another 15 minutes to get the dosa. Moved towards that pinkie to confirm it was not Anjali. Well, she was not. I knew it well. But still, the thought of Anjali made me move there.

It seemed like everything happening again. Well, it was understandable at 22. Again at 29? It does not seem to make sense. But rationality is the most uncommon thing in these affairs.

After a long day at the media-advertising industry conclave in Alliance Business Academy, I needed some relaxation, I thought. Went to the parking area and lit a King light.

HSR BDA has become a nice place to hang out for the Yuppies and Dinkus. (For those of you highly knowledgeable people, if you do not know what Yuppies are - they are Young Urban Professionals. DINK is - Double Income No Kids. Well, DINKU is something I have coined - Double Income; No Kid & Underemployed - like most software couples in Bangalore are! They do not work for more than 30 hours a week in the office, contrary to what one might think)

Bharateeyam was full. It attracts a fair share of people from HSR and around with tasty food. North Indians and wannabe North Indians are found in plenty. Wannabe North Indians - South Indians who converse in Hindi even with their family members! Guess it is a millennium old inferiority complex - that started with the Aryans & Dravidians! Along with them, mommies and daddies of software ennaarais can also be seen. North Indians have their ‘dosas’, not dhosas and samburr, not sambar while Wannabe North Indians have their ‘chats’ as in Yahoo chat.

But we are digressing from the Anjali story here. Heck, this is my story. I write what I want.

_________________________________________________________

Well, Anjali is the new girl who had joined the creatives team recently. It would not make sense to specially announce here that she was one of those beautiful creatures around - without that, this story would not have been written in the first place.

As it happens in all such stories, she joined the same account that I was handling. The current project was on creating TVCs (TV Commercials) for a new textile showroom. The client was a hugely successful showroom in Chennai and want to replicate it in Bangalore. Anjali came up with brilliant ideas right through out the project. Her knowledge ranging from psychology to carnatic music was greatly helpful. The TVC was a big success and ensured top of the mind recall to 99% of the survey respondents.

Also as it happens in all such stories, in a weakened state (read: after a couple of beers), I had spoken in praise of her with my friends. Apparently, I even made a statement that she was a perfect ‘wife material’. And then they started pushing me into this affair. Well, Seetha was the leader of that gang.

“Shiv, she is the most suitable girl for you. When I think of her, you come to my mind. Just forget your past.”

Forget the past? Is it so easy?

“If I come to my mind when you think of her, better stop thinking” I said and left the place.

I got busy with the arrangements for the summit and forgot about it. Until I saw the pinkie, that is.

‘Masala Dosa…’ shouted the attendant & I walked back in.

_________________________________________________________

The thought of Anjali kept coming to my mind for no reason all through my drive to the home. The thought was so pleasant, I would say. If this were a movie, I might have gone for a dream sequence song to Switzerland now. Unfortunately, that is not the case. So let us continue.

I reached home and found many missed calls in my landline. Checked for the recorded messages. There were 7 of them. Started playing one by one. First six were without any message. Morons, have cut the line without speaking a word. The seventh had a message. An important one. Not in terms of the content but in terms of the person who had conveyed it.

Yes, your guess is right. It was Anjali, but your guess I think is no big deal.

“Shiv, this is Anjali. We, I mean the creatives team are planning to go to Forum and catch up with a movie tomorrow. Would you like to join? Please call at 9845746262 and let me know!”

No recorded message from my phone has sounded sweeter than this ever. What was happening to me? Someone in late 20s getting so much charged up about a call from a girl? I was supposed to be a mature advertising professional. Heck, everyone has emotional needs, no?

I usually spend Sundays lazing around at home, watching a movie or blogging about an Indian brand. I decided to move my ass out tomorrow. I need to call her up and inform. Before calling, I thought I better freshen up. Yeah, it was just a phone call and she would have no means of finding if I washed my face or not. I remember a statement told to the receptionist in my office by her boss, “Smile when you say Hello, the person at the other end can visualize it”. So why risk it? I shed my clothes and ran into the bathroom. As an aside, one advantage of living alone is - you do not need a latch to your bathroom!

I stood in front of the mirror and told, ‘Shiv, you seem to be in love again’. The image in the mirror smiled back at me.

_________________________________________________________

The movie that I suggested turned out to be pathetic. However, movie was only an excuse as far as I was concerned. Seetha, the most helpful love-enabler ever known to human kind, made all kinds of nautanki and moved the rest of the team members away, leaving only Anjali and me.

That gave me a chance to know more about her. She is a Kannadiga whose family had settled in Hyderabad in the 60s. That meant, her Kannada was as good as my Telugu. I am a Telugu guy whose family had settled in Mysore in the 60s. Her father was an IAS Officer (promoted variety, not the study hard, pass exam kind). Mother a housewife. And no siblings. I exchanged my family information also.

After the usual kind of information exchanges and stuff, both of us did not know what to talk. I certainly did not want to talk about work then. I cannot talk about Sharrukh Khan and I was sure she would not be able to talk about Sachin Tendulkar. I thought I would still try. There was anyways a repeat telecast going on in the large TV screen there.

“You know Anjali, I was just checking out the TAM (a database that contains television viewer ship measures in India) data today. As you would expect, cricket tops the TRP ratings when it comes to sports in India. What do you think is the second top?”

“Hmm… I do not know, Hockey, may be?”

“HaHa.. No, it is the repeat telecast of cricket itself…”

“Oh crazy people… I cannot understand the game ever…”

“Well, I can guess it. There was a friend of mine, who thinks Sachin and Tendulkar are actually two different people”

She did not seem to like that joke. She laughed anyways.

“Luckily we do not use his middle name often… Else she would think that there is a third batsman called Ramesh who fights with Sachin and Tendulkar for the title of the best batsman of India”

This time she did not laugh.

Silence fell again. And then she suddenly asked,

“Shiv, why aren’t you married yet?”

‘Was waiting for you, dear’

“Shiv, where are you? Deep thoughts? I asked you something”

“Er.. Nothing.. Just some thoughts…”

“Sorry if it had made you remember some old stuff… I should not have asked… Seetha told me about that…”

‘Seetha… I will kill you…’

“No problem. That is an old story anyways!”

What she told before she left a lasting impression on me. “Shiv, I would never ask you for advice on what movie to watch”

_________________________________________________________

Her question about my marriage did dig up a lot of thoughts in me. I went to the balcony of my house and lit a cigarette. I have this habit of lighting one every time there is a flashback coming up.

“Menaka… Late ho raha hai yaar…. Seekkiram vaa” (It is getting late, come fast)

The Tam-Brams in Mumbai have this habit of mixing up all languages in their speech.

“So Shiv, what are you looking there? Menaka? Sweet girl. Interested?” asked my brother-in-law. I believe I need not inform about the beauty of Menaka here.

I smiled awkwardly and went inside the house. I had gone to spend a few days with my sister at Mumbai. She had been in Mumbai for around an year after marriage. And I was busy with my MBA at Loyolas in Chennai that I could not visit her even once.

Once I finished the course and more importantly, got an offer from a local advertising agency with a decent salary, I decided to spend a week at Mumbai before taking up the job. And it paved the way for some exciting phase in my life.

I slowly gathered information about Menaka from my sister and brother in law using all the subliminal techniques that I could employ. She is a Tam-Bram (Tamil Brahmin) living in Mumbai. Her father was one of those people who quit Mylapore and moved to Mathunga when the Dravidian movement was at its peak and its supporters were indulging in cutting off the tufts and sacred threads of Brahmins and what not.

She grew to be a cosmopolitan person and had this sense of urgency inherent in Mumbaikars in whatever they do. She was doing her final B.Com with great hopes of doing her CA. Her father was anyways one.

It was not too long before I got introduced to her by my ever helpful bro-in-law.

“Sir, this is Shiv, Vijaya’s brother. He is the one who she keeps talking about… MBA, Advertising all that…”

“Hello Shiv, I am Panjabakesan”

Strange are the ways these Tams pronounce their names. Is it not supposed to be Panchapakesan? I seriously do not know. But for sure, I am confident that this person had nothing to do with Punjab.

“Hello Uncle. Nice meeting you” and I was looking around to see the other more important people in the house.

There she comes!

“Hello Pavan Ji... How are you?” she told my bro-in-law and gave a puzzled look seeing me. Good acting it was. I had seen her gazing at me the previous day. Anyways, I too gave a puzzled look though I knew every detail about her including her shoe size.

“Hi Menaka… This is Shiv… Shiv, this is Menaka”

“Hello Menaka, do you love animals?”

“Hello Shiv. No, I am a strict vegetarian”

Oops, I was not sure if she got my joke or not. Or was it a joke that was thrown at me back? Anyways, all of us laughed.

It did not take too much time to exchange email addresses and stuff. It was way back in 2000 but everyone in the younger generation did have email ids. In my opinion, 75% of the love affairs in the last decade would have started over chat or email only.

_________________________________________________________

I joined the advertising agency and slowly got into the groove of the profession I have come to thoroughly enjoy. In the initial days, the work of an account executive seemed to be that of a Dalal, talking to the models, talking to the clients, talking to the creative guys and adding no value by one’s own. In the course of time, I realized how important this coordination was. The creative animal in me also helped in ideas to the creative team. I would often be consulted for reviews of their ideas. I was confident I would have my own agency one day and be known in the league of Alyque Padamsee.

That was not the only thing I did. The love with Menaka blossomed too. It started off with emails, then with Yahoo chats (no Skype then you know!), then with phone calls and then with personal visits.

I visited Mumbai every weekend. How I missed these low budget airlines then. I used spend half my salary in train and flight tickets. Menaka completed her B.Com and was deep into ICWA and stuff. But every weekend was reserved for me. That was the most exciting phase of both of our lives.

We roamed around every nook and corner of Mumbai. Gateway of India, the Aquarium and the Fashion Street were the most favorite joints. We would talk about movies, music, advertisements, business, politics, how we should shape our lives and what not. We both seemed to be the best emotional and intellectual companions for each other. Interestingly, we never declared that we were in love with each other. It was just understood over a period of time.

Since it was never a declared thing and since the parents in both ends knew what we were up to, there was no problem whatsoever. Till that fateful day arrived, that is.

The accounting firm that Menaka’s father was running broke. If it had to run, it had to be supported by the NRI relative of theirs. With the only condition that Menaka would marry their son. No, it does not happen only in movies as you would imagine. It happened with me.

It all seemed so logical for Mr. Panjabakesan. After all, every Tam-Bram, his neighbor & relatives and relative’s neighbors and neighbor’s relatives had their sons and daughters sent or married off to the US of A.

God knows how he would have reacted if his business had not broken down. But now he was sure that he would marry off his daughter only to a Tam Bram and only to someone who was in the US of A. I was neither.

Menaka tried her best to convince him but he would not relent. When it came to choosing between me and her family, she chose the latter. I would not blame her anyways.

She now lives in Boston with 2 kids as a happy NRI’s wife singing the only song she knows “Gowri Kalyaanam” in all religious functions she attends. Mr. Panjabakesan paid off his debts, shut shop and leads a happy retired life.

I quit my job in Chennai and joined an agency in Bangalore. I had become an account manager now.

_________________________________________________________

Three cigarettes got over. Read: flashback got over.

The next few weeks were spent in the office amidst a tight schedule to prepare for a presentation for a new client. There was this new mobile service provider that had come to India and was looking for an ad agency. The likes of O&M were competing. We were a small time player from Bangalore who had made a few ads that have been noticed across the National television circles. The fact that we got an invite for the presentation meant that the company was looking for someone new. If we get this, it would be the best thing to happen - to my company and to my career.

The presentation was supposed to happen in Noida.

We had one person from the creative and me going. Needless to say, Seetha made sure it was Anjali who joined me. I was supposed to create a double success - one with the new client who was showing sufficient interest in our company and one with Anjali, who was showing sufficient interest in me.

We prepared a neat presentation to cover all our strengths in the short span of 10 minutes that was given to us. Data about the reach of the textile showroom advertisement we had created was going to be crucial. We had copywriting and mock advertisements for the new company too based on the information we had about them.

The presentation went on very well. All signals of a success emanated from the clients. They would anyway send their final confirmation to our head office in Bangalore.

_________________________________________________________

We were waiting at the New Delhi Airport to catch the flight back to Bangalore. There was a call from Seetha.

“Hi Seetha…”

“Shiv, congrats… You have done it….”

“Really… has the confirmation come so soon?”

“Yes, Sir… You are the superstar in our office now… Shiv, The Boss it is”

“Great Seetha… Thanks a lot…”

“That is OK… But tell me, what happened to the other thing you had to do?”

“Well… No, nothing yet…”

“Fool… Do it NOW… Believe me, she is interested in you… It is just that she wants to play a typical girl by not saying first… Do not miss this chance now…”

“Hmm… Okay, I will do it right away…”

Anjali was all curious.

“Have they confirmed?”

“Yes Maam… You are going to get a huge bonus now… And I am sure you would be the creative head for this assignment…”

“Thank you, Shiv.. So nice of you…”

“Well… I wanted to say something else too….”

Her phone rang.

“Excuse me Shiv…”

“Yeah sure…”

“Hi Rohit… What a pleasant surprise….”

“…” whatever hell the other side spoke.

“Yeah my trip is a success….”

“Oh thank you…. Thank you…”

“….”

“I too miss you so much da at this time… I will be Bangalore in a few hours….”

“….”

“Yeah, see you in the airport…. Bye”

“Sorry Shiv, it was Rohit…”

“Okay..:” how the hell am I supposed to know who the hell this Rohit is.
“You were saying something?”

“Well.. Er… I actually forgot…”

“Hey you…. Crazy…”

And she started frantically SMS-ing people. Foolish. What am I doing here!! Who is this Rohit? Some friend? And just a friend? Or a cousin or something? Just a cousin or something more? I got very angry at Seetha for not finding this out. I made up my mind to find out who it is and open my heart in the flight.

“Passengers boarding for the Bangalore bound Kingfisher flight number…..”

Please pray for me.

... The Slave ...

2007-08-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

7.30 pm. On a Thursday.

The daughters-in-law were conspiring against their mothers-in-law. After a 'small break', the mothers-in-law were conspiring against their daughters-in-law. Foolish. This has been happening for years together. But the lady in this house is not tired of watching this soap. Heck. I would love to watch cartoon network now but who is bothered about it.

Well, I am Martin. 10 years old. Very short. Probably my growth is stunted. I do not know if I will grow anymore. I was brought into this house from Orissa when I was 5 years old. My family had been wiped away at that time due to some Gad damned flood. I had no go but to join these guys! I got fooled by the love and affection they showered on me then. I had no idea that I would be treated as a slave here. I have been a bonded laborer here since then. Hmm! I had a great life at my birthplace. All play and no work to do. Only a few chores here and there. Nothing more. Durga would come and serve food to me and my Mom. We used to just laze around. Durga was very kind hearted. Her parents too were and the whole family was. My Mom used to tell me that I was the most intelligent of all my cousins and others in our neighbourhood there. But what use all that intelligence now?

The calling bell rang.

The lady of the house turned towards me. That means I got to go & open the door. What the heck. Why should I go always? You go. At least your waistline may reduce. Anyways, I cannot speak all that. I went to open the door. Anyways, this is the last day for all these.
The moment I opened the door, "Bang"... A slap on my back. The son of my "owner" was the one who slapped me. He was angry that I did not open the door on time. My blood boiled. I just wanted to tear him apart. But as usual, I was silent. Anyways, the day when I will be a free bird is not far. He straight went to the wash basin, cleaned his hands and mouth and then came for food. Very good habit indeed. But since it is to hide the smell of the cigarette, well... forget it. He does nothing. Just roams around the city, smokes, drinks and that is it. He did get a job in a call center but he did not work even for a month. He did not have "job satisfaction" it seems. Well, he is now satisfied but has no job. I would like to call him as the hole in the bottom but since that would be too offensive to narrate, I refrain from it.

It was time for NEWS now.

Even a slight sound made at this time, my "owner" and the head of the family here would get wild. He would behave as if he would die if he does not hear a few sentences of the news item. He reads at least 4 newspapers too. God knows what he gets out of them. I was feeling very sleepy. Have been doing one chore after the other since morning. I get up at 5 am. Go get the milk. Then go for a walk with the owner - he needs "company" it seems. Then, go get the newspapers. Then the vegetables. And then groceries. And then clean some portions of the house. Luckily I am too short to reach the hob to cook. Otherwise, they would make me do it also.

The only job I like is of getting milk in the morning - because that is when I meet Julie. She too lives in the neighborhood in another house. Well, as a bonded laborer in another house. She was kidnapped when she was only 4 years old. Even without the knowledge of her mother. She faintly remembers that she used to live in Goa. Apparently, the owners of the house she stays went to Goa sometime and brought her along. We meet every day at the milk booth. Even the decision to get an end to all this was taken in the milk booth only. I do not know if I love her. I do not know if I can even think about love or marriage at this age. Nevertheless, we have an attraction for each other.

The h-in-the-b finished his food.

Priya came next. She is a decent girl. She is the only one in the house who would not beat me. Rarely hugs me too. But for the last couple of weeks, she has not been coming near me. We had some kind of a cold exchange two weeks back. She was continuously having next to her the teddy bear that her boy friend presented. What the heck. I thought I would see what it is. She scolded me like anything for that. And ordered that even my breath should not go near that lifeless toy. Well, I do not even have the respect a lifeless toy has. What to say? Fate? No. I believe ones destiny lies with oneself. So I will change my life from tomorrow. Julie is anyways there to give a helping hand.

The h-in-the-b came back after saying Good Night to his latest girl friend. He called me and showed three fingers. I need to understand that he is asking me to get 'Business World'. I went and searched for it. Luckily I could locate it easily. There was a time when I could not read English well. Neither did I understand his code language well. In front of his friends, he called me and showed 2 fingers. I was supposed to understand he was asking for Hindu. I got confused and brought Times of India (Code 1). He considered it as insult and slapped me in front of all his friends. I have never felt so humiliated any other time. In the news, there was a special section on 'bonded laborers' in the cracker factories at Sivakasi. All of the members in this household were "moved" by it and were condemning it strictly. What am I here? Not a bonded laborer? Heck. Hypocrites.

The owner and the lady went to eat.

I would get only whatever is left after they eat. Anyways, I do not need food today. I am so happy that I am running away tomorrow. No hunger whatsoever. All the chains will be broken tomorrow and a new life will dawn.

There was some howling noise outside. Oops. Looked like Julie's voice. I went out to inspect what it was. It indeed was Julie. Apparently, there have been many cases of dog bites in the city recently and the street dogs are being caught & killed ruthlessly. Julie said it was risky to run away then and we better wait for a few more months before breaking free. I too felt the same. We both started sharing our bad times.

My owners were talking that it was a bad omen to hear us howling.

Superstitious human fools.

... Psychosis & Generic Schizophrenia in an Eccentric Manager ...

2007-07-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

Scene: 1

Kay at a psychiatrist's clinic

"Well, what is your problem, Kay" asked the doctor.

"Hmm... I do not know, doctor... People seem to be getting averse to me in the last one year or so... No one talks to me for more than a couple of minutes"

"Oh really... that is strange... who do this... Family? Friends? Coworkers? Who?"

"Well, almost everyone except my friends in the college..."

"College? I thought you were working somewhere..."

"I do go to an office... not sure if I spend time there working though... because I rush to the college almost every day to complete a case study..."

"You are still studying?"

"Yeah, I am doing a part time MBA course. I have classes in the weekends...."

"That is interesting... Coming back to your problem... would you narrate a few incidents that happened to you...?"

"Yeah Sure... Here we go..."

Scene: 0

Kay at home with his wife watching TV.

"Did you watch the new Airtel ad that passed now? The kid who calls his Dad when it rains...? Cute it is... These days they do not show the complete ad... they show only half of it...” says Kay's wife.

"Yeah I did... I believe the advertisers have used the technique of classical conditioning here... Where there is an unconditional stimulus and a conditional stimulus... Another aspect to look is closure... When you are trained about it, it is enough if half of it is shown... You will remember the rest of it... Also, I believe the media schedule is tight for them..."

Before Kay could complete, wife switches off TV and goes away!

Scene: -1

Kay in the office with a co-worker near to the water cooler.

"Hey dude Kay... how is life..."

"Never better, buddy..."

"So what are you up to these days...? How is your MBA going on?"

"Well, last week I learned about social contract, use of metaphors in Indian freedom struggle, then about the relation between the bond prices and the call rates..."

"Er... good... fine... I got to meet the finance guy about my tax calculations... I will take leave..."

"Hey wait... tell the finance guy to write off the fringe benefit tax and car lease scheme as miscellaneous expenditure this year itself... else the profits next year may plummet..."

The co worker runs away!

Scene: -2

Kay in a relative's place.

"Beta, why don't you buy a house in Bangalore soon... The rates are dropping now..."

"No Uncle... I have done the NPV, IRR & Payback calculations well... I have also done my technical analysis of the real estate stocks and the realty prices well... By any means, I think I should buy it only on 25th April 2008..."

"Well, don’t you think it is like taking your knowledge to an extreme? for a 30 lakhs flat that you will buy..." says the obviously taken aback uncle.

"Ah... You do not understand the funda of present value of money... let me explain you now... suppose you can buy tomatoes for 10 rupees a Kg today... instead you save it for the future...." and continues for the next 30 minutes.

Uncle falls unconscious.

Scene: 1

Back to the present time.

"That is what happens, doctor..."

"So sad to hear this, Kay... No one seems to appreciate the amount of knowledge you have...."

"Yeah, doctor..."

"By the way, I guess your work should be on consumer behavior..."

"No... I just learnt it in the college..."

"Oh, so you are a finance guy...?"

"No... No... I just learn that in the college..."

"What do you do then?"

"I fix minor defects in software written in the 1970s... All major defects are taken by people who remain in office all day..."

"Then why do you study all these?"

"Well... come on doctor... You do not understand the intangible benefits that I get out of these... The society would appreciate my knowledge you know... I will be seen as an intellect wherever I go... In fact, I have recently written an article about the relevance of Parkinson's Law in the software industry... It has been received well by...."

Well, doctor too runs away!!!!

[To be continued.... till Kay lives...]

... In spite of the Gods ...

2007-07-31T02:15:00.000-07:00

[A review I had done for a course on Business, Government & Society]

Title: In spite of the Gods, The strange rise of modern India

Author: Edward Luce

Publisher: Little Brown

First Published: 2006 @ Great Britain

Introduction

With the increasing interest on India in the Western world, the number of books written on India and its history is equally increasing. ‘In spite of the Gods, the strange rise of modern India’ by Edward Luce (Former Bureau Chief, Financial Times, South Asia, based in New Delhi) is another attempt to provide the ‘history of modern India’. While the more recent ‘India after Gandhi’ by Ramachandra Guha provides a more thorough account of the happenings in independent India, this book provides high level ideas of many facets of modern India – ‘an unsentimental evaluation of contemporary India against the backdrop of its widely expected ascent to great power status in the 21st century’ – in the author’s words.

One is a bit skeptical about what a foreign correspondent can write about a country as diverse as India based on his limited experience of having lived for 5 years but Luce seems to be aware of the maxim ‘Whatever you say about India, the opposite is also true’ so he does not make any overreaching judgments. The book opens with the author visiting Auroville, a spiritual town where people from varied parts of the world, who have been attracted by India’s spirituality, live. That straightaway gets my curiosity high – as I was brought up in the city of Pondicherry where this town Auroville is located.

The author laments that what is mostly written about India in the western world is its spirituality, metaphysics and religions. The author wants to move away from it and talk about other aspects of the Indian society.

The central theme

The central message of the book is that India has much more than its religions and spirituality to ascribe its growth to and to feel proud about. In fact, India has grown in spite of its religion & spirituality! The author claims that the title was partially inspired by Nehru’s contention that the strength of India does not lie in its religions alone.

With the premise that India’s strengths do not lie in its ancient civilization or its religions but in its demographic profile and the institutional advantages that have been built over years, the author passionately conveys his message that while India has achieved quite a bit in recent years, there is indeed a long way to go and its elite cannot remain lackadaisical. “India isn’t on autopilot to greatness” he writes. This point of view is seen to be echoing throughout the book.
The book has been neatly divided into separate chapters covering one aspect of modern India – India’s lopsided economy, bureaucracy, caste-ism, Hindu nationalism, Muslim minority; Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, India’s relations with the US & China and India’s new economy class. In most of the chapters, the author uses his personal experiences in meeting different people for interviews & meetings to emphasize his opinion.

Aspects of Business, Government, and Society in the book

The Lopsided Economy

This book straightaway relates to the following topics on Business, Government & Society: ‘Indian Politics’, ‘Interest Groups’ and ‘Regulations, bureaucracy & judiciary’. To an extent, certain arguments made about the role of Government in the economy (Nehruvian Socialism Vs Liberalization) can also be considered of some relevance to B, G & S.

The initial sections of the book highlight the struggle between the ideologies of the three most important men India has had in the twentieth century – Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru and Ambedkar. Of particular interest are the views of these great men on urbanization of the country. While, Gandhi calls villages as “I am convinced that if India is to attain true freedom, and through India the world also, then sooner or later the fact must be recognized that people will have to live in villages, not towns; in huts not in palaces”, Ambedkar says “What is the village but a sink of localism, a den of ignorance, narrow mindedness and communalism”. Interestingly, the debates about urbanization and its effects on a country continue to this day. Even this book carries the opinion of social workers like Aruna Roy who feel India should go back to its villages and of Nandan Nilekani who says ‘We cannot modernize Indian economy or society unless we urbanize more rapidly’. One is reminded of the series of articles that appeared in the Indian Economy Blog.

The book continues the fashion of criticizing Nehru’s economic policies (inspired by the ‘Fabians’ of the UK) for the ills of the society. The single most reason cited is the ‘disparity between the elite’s dream of an idealistic society in the future and the need of today’. Edward goes on to say ‘while there was a need for land reform and ways to increase yield, the Government built steel & aluminum plants’, ‘local irrigation was needed but large dams were built’ and ‘basic literacy & medication were needed but the Government built IITs and huge public hospitals’. Though, at one point, the author does agree that socialism was the most fashionable thing of the 50s and it went out of steam only after 15 years or so.

A couple of comparisons made in this book are striking. The first is the comparison of two decades in India (when nationalization and liberalization were the priorities of the Government of the day), one starting 1972 (when Indira Gandhi was at the helm) and the other starting 1995. The second are the comparison between the organized and the unorganized sector of workforce in India. It was surprising to know that, in spite of all the privatization that has happened in the last decade and a half, the Government employs the majority of the formal workforce.

While comparing the economic growth models of China & India, the author claims that while China has followed the Western method of agriculture to low cost manufacturing to value added manufacturing to high end services, India has leapfrogged directly into the services from agriculture. While this argument can be compared to what Thomas Friedman says in ‘World is Flat’, Edward immediately reminds us of the need that India still has 450 million people to lift out of poverty. To this, he says the ‘cure is economic’ but the ‘headache is social’. He quotes Manmohan here ‘Our single biggest problem is the lack of jobs for ordinary people. We need employment for the semi skilled on a large scale, and it is not happening to anything like the degree we are witnessing in China’.

As is customary of such works these days, the book carries information about Infosys and a few other ‘success stories’ of India’s new economy. The author calls the people who consider ‘India’s digital divide as the problem to solve’ bluff and says there are many more divides (economic/social) to resolve first.

The author ends his analysis of India’s economy as ‘… offers a schizophrenic glimpse of a high tech, twenty first century future and a distressingly medieval past.”

Bureaucracy & Judiciary

India bureaucracy & judiciary are analyzed threadbare but the author provides no new revelation. The corruption that exists in these fields is highlighted and a couple of interviews with ‘honest’ officers and judges and a visit to ‘Sunder Nagri’ carry it through. One interesting formula was ‘Monopoly + Discretion’ = ‘Corruption’.

Caste-ism

The influence of caste in the India society has been highlighted excellently. The author starts from the times of Manu and ends with the BSP and other caste parties of the day. He talks about the development of the ‘Mahar’ community, ‘Sanskritization’, the prevalence of caste-ism even among the Muslims, Christians and Sikhs and the way Tamil Nadu has managed to handle caste-ism. He seems to have lost his facts in the final point – the way Tamil Nadu has managed caste-ism. While it indeed is true that the upper castes have been ‘contained’ enough in Tamil Nadu, the struggle between the OBCs and the Dalits continues to the day in the Southern portions of the state.

Hindu Nationalism

The author next turns to the favorite whipping boy of any Western writer – the Hindu nationalism. He goes on at length about the Gujarat pogrom of 2002 and various other misdeeds of the Hindu fundamentalists. But one felt that the frequent comparison to Italy’s fascism was probably taking it too far. The comparison between Shankaracharya and Sri Sri Ravishankar was certainly the best part of this section. That he expected the audience to discuss ‘metaphysics’ with Sri Sri while they talk about every day chores was indeed funny. Equally funny is his visit to the Cow Product Research Center. Related to the learning from BGS, what is found in this section is about ‘Social Contract’. RSS supporters see the nation as the living organism that is deeply rooted in the national soil. They reject the fictional ‘social contract’ between the individuals that underlies most western ideas of the nation state because it implies the individual has a choice in the matter.

Nehru-Gandhi dynasty

We better forget what is written in the chapter on Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, because the heading itself says ‘sycophants’. Though a history of modern India cannot be written without contributions from the ‘family’, devoting a complete section on that was probably not needed. The interview with YSR towards the end of the chapter probably conveys the state of the Congress party in India. It sends a chill down the spine to think of a stage when the party would lose all its support and there is no ‘centrist’ party in Indian politics. But certainly the solution is not the dynasty.

Muslims in India

The section on Muslims in India has all elements that one would expect. The Deobands, Muslim League, 1937 provincial elections, Jinnah, ‘Direct Action Day’, Kashmir and the like are covered adequately well. One perspective that I found new was that one reason for the abysmal state of many Muslims in India is because of the exodus of all the elite Muslims to Pakistan. The author’s pronouncements that he sees a change in the attitude of Kashmiris towards the insurgents is certainly pleasing to the Indian ears, whatever be the reality.

India, US & China

India’s relations with the US & China have been analyzed well, though one is left wanting for more at the end of the chapter. The sections about ‘power of argument’ versus ‘argument of power’ - the aversion of the US to India & its diplomats that in spite of it receiving US aid, it goes about advising the US on how to go about running the country are interesting. The author seems to derive extensively from Amartya Sen’s ‘Argumentative Indian’ on these. More thoughts on how China and India would secure their energy sources in days to come would have been good – but as the author claims, he provides only limited suggestions on the future and does not provide any predictions at all.

Conclusion

The author concludes with a note on how the caste-ism and singing paeans to India’s civilization continues even among the most affluent classes in India’s new economy. While he thinks that ‘demographic profile’ and ‘institutional advantage’ would be the opportunities for India in the future, there are four major challenges that he sees – the challenge of lifting 300 million people out of absolute poverty, overcoming environment degradation, HIV and protecting & strengthening India’s liberal democracy. The sudden reference to HIV & environment at the conclusion was a bit surprising because he had not discussed that anywhere before.

‘The long tradition of pluralism has given the country hundreds of years of practice at managing social conflicts without automatic resort to violence’. The author stops short of endorsing India’s ascent as one of the global powers of the 21st century for he claims India to be a ‘status quo power’ with no unfinished agenda in terms of its geographical expansion. He opines that India’s growth is going to contribute to the world’s stability than otherwise.

Criticisms

One certain limitation of the book is that it almost conveys nothing about India’s history before the British. An unsuspecting reader might be led to believe that all claims about India’s civilization are indeed false and exaggerated. While it is true that the hype of Hindu nationalists about India’s civilization is unwarranted, it is equally true that, in spite of all its diversity and the hated caste-ism, the Indian civilization was indeed flourishing in the first millennium. Even the staunch secularist in Nehru claims in his ‘Discovery of India’ that the scientific fervor of the Indians was undone during the rule under the Moslems which probably got the country into missing the boat on Industrial revolution and the subsequent fall to the British. After all, as the author claims, Indians need a dose of ego-massage about the strengths of their civilization before embarking on any other talk.

Another limitation of the book is that the author seems to have completely missed the role of media in India’s independence and later. One more is the limited reference to the difference in culture between the North and the South Indians. Surprisingly, there is no single mention about the Aryans and the Dravidians. That should probably be the first for a book on India’s history (however ‘modern’ it is).

Recommendation

The book without doubt is clear on what it conveys; the language is witty and accessible yet confident. There is less stereotyping on what India stands for. The research done by Luce seems formidable. He does not provide hasty pronouncements – instead he uses enough and more statistics to assert his opinion. Though the primary audience for the book could be someone in the West who is interested in India, there is quite a bit for Indian audience who are either ignorant of India’s modern history or simply to get an understanding of how a westerner sees India. It is highly recommended to anyone who wishes to know what a westerner with a close linkage to India in recent times, thinks of India’s past, present and the future. Luce’s is a welcome perspective that many of us, being part of the Indian culture, cannot fully appreciate on our own due to our varied prejudices.

The lasting impression

The lasting impression of the book is that the Indian culture’s unique ability to retain its core while embracing any changes that comes its way. Though the book does not elaborate on this aspect as say ‘Discovery of India’ does, it indeed is true that in spite of all the globalization & stuff, the core of India’s culture – the caste-ism and endogamy are here to stay for a few generations to come. What haunts one is the gigantic task that India faces today - of getting the millions of people who have been subjugated to poverty for probably thousands of years. Without an attempt to change the psyche of the upper castes & OBCs towards the untouchables, if this indeed is possible is something to be seen.

... Gajendra says ...

2007-03-11T01:24:00.000-08:00

[Written by one Third Eye for my company's magazine]

This forecast is NOT based on your horoscope, NOT based on your birth date BUT based on your JOINING DATE in your current organization.

First, count the digits in your joining date. For example, if it is 13/01/2003, count as 1+3+0+1+2+0+0+3 à 10 à 1+0 à 1. This has been developed by the world renowned numerologist Gajendra who lives in the south west of Himalayas.

Now read below to know your fate based on this count.

This applies to all kinds of organizations and all kinds of people. Feel free to forward this to all your friends in different companies so that they too get to know their fate.

If the count is 1, 3 or 9

You are street-smart and are capable of completing any challenge in a short time. Towards the end of your previous workplace (or educational institute), you may have had a slight frustration and might have waited to leave that place soon. Though you had a few moments of frustration early on in your current organization, you soon picked up things and got into the groove. Your manager respects you for your capabilities, at least secretly. In the next six months, you should be getting that raise or promotion that you have been waiting for – do not worry; it will happen as per your wish. The best phase of your life is yet to happen. Say, from 3 to 5 years down the line, you would have surpassed all your current colleagues in terms of pay; designation etc. So please do continue your good work and march ahead. God is with you.

If the count is 4, 6 or 8

I got to be a bit careful in my words now since I am talking to one of the most intelligent set of people on earth. I am sure you would have revealed the exact reason for quitting your previous organization to the new employer. If you had joined from college, at a certain point in time during your college days your interests were lying elsewhere but you joined this company due to some kind of a pressure. Nevertheless, after the initial hiccups that you faced in the current organization, you kind of settled down and have been doing fairly decently at this point in time. No need to complain per se. But then, what you are not aware is that you are much more capable of what you have achieved. Your fellow workers envy you in private; whatever is their demeanor in public, and that includes your boss, my friend. The glorious phase of your career is waiting on its wings. A bit of extra effort from you in the next one year and you reach the stars.

If the count is 2, 5 or 7

You are an honest and a straightforward person. The conditions when you quit your previous organization (college or another company) offered a mix of pleasant and unpleasant experiences. However, as you moved into the new organization, the mature head you have on your shoulders made sure all those were forgotten and you started a fresh chapter in your life. The honeymoon period with the new organization did (will) not last long. You know that and you are already making sure that your contributions to the company increases day after day. Though it may not be public yet, you are being considered as one of the top most performers in your team. The day is not far when that will be revealed in public. Nevertheless, as Lord Krishna had mentioned, ‘Do your job and the fruits will follow’

Methodology

The statements mentioned in the forecast do not have any meaning to your fate. Just as I was going through the daily forecast in a daily, I got this idea of writing down the same set of statements in three different forms and calling it forecast. The statements are all of three kinds - to boost one’s ego; to offer hope for the future and to offer belief in this scoop. Nothing more!! :)

... Slaughter of the Queen’s Tongue ...

2007-01-27T06:11:00.000-08:00

[Written by one Mr.Hidden Eye in the August 2006 edition of my company's magazine. Needless to say, it generated a controversy!]

As I was going around the floor in the Chapa division, I noticed that we still have the hatred towards the British in spite of 59 years passing after they left. Yes, I mean the way we all butcher their language..!

The following is a compilation of some mails/chat & talk that happened as I walked around.

Apparently there was a demonstration to happen at Korea that day!! First the person (M@I) in India (through email) kindly requests the SISO coordinator at Korea (M@K) to demonstrate it to the client. Then to save time, they start chatting over messenger

M@I: Are you demo?
M@K: No. I am tried myself first. But I hanged.
M@I: Oh, I check. (Calls some XYZ in his team) XYZ, M@K face demo problem. Please debug him.

After a couple of hours of such talks, the problem gets resolved. And M@I sends out a mail to him team members

Hi All,

I thank all of them for your work today in resolving the issue. I hope you have already send the changes to M@K. Did you checked in the changes?

Regards,
M@I.

Such examples can actually go on & on. To the lesser blessed souls who could not laugh at the italicized portions above, let us explain each item now.

Kindly Request – You do not “kindly request”. You should request him to “kindly demonstrate”

Are you demo – It should be “Have you demo(nstrat)ed? Or are you done with the demo?

Am tried – Just tried will do

I hanged – The application/software can hang. You cannot.

I check – I shall check

Face demo problem – is facing a problem with the demo

Debug him – Debug the software to solve the issue reported by him

All of them – All of you! You should not thank someone else!

Send – Sent

Did you checked in? – Did you check in? When an auxiliary verb is used, the main verb’s present tense should be used.

Now that you have laughed at others, please find out which underlined word/phrase in the sentences below is incorrect.

• After they had finished their meal, they asked the waiter the bill.

• The cabin over there is free at the moment if you'd like to try on those clothes to see if they fit.

• Let me knowing when you come back from your holidays so that we can make arrangements to meet.

• From it's very beginning the piece of music has the power to carry you away to distant lands.

Source (http://www.english-test.net/esl/common-errors-in-english-usage.html)

... Letters to the Editor ...

2007-01-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

[Letters to the editor in the April 2006 edition of my company's magazine. Compiled by one Mr. Messiah. Read till the end]

The magazine was excellent. It was un-putdown-able. I finished it in a single sitting. My manager seems to be angry that I could not complete my work today! I blame you for that!

~ Rama Prasad, SLD.

The Cover Story was brilliant. The timing of the story was perfect. It captured the imagination of many of us! Long live SISO & SeISmO.

~ Anil Sharma, DPD

The interview with Dipesh provided great inspiration to me! That a man from a simple background could make it so big is a good lesson for everyone.

~ Deepak Choudhary, TND

Who is this Messiah guy? Am sure he would get slaps from someone one day, if he gets caught. Mr. Messiah, please write an article about the “shitty (not CITY) life in SISO” (I mean the toilets).

~ Ranganath Kulkarni, WTD

Please allow more pages for the section on books. Why not add Book Review also?

~ Rajkumar Chauhan, WTD

Flash Fiction Stories were not up to the mark. Please do not torture us with half-baked stories from geeks. If you wish to increase readership for SeISmO, publish some articles/stories from the Net.

~ Mahendra Singh Jenwar, Finance

The idea of a corporate magazine is just great. I did not expect this to come up so good. Hats off to the team who made this. I particularly liked the Technical articles. Congratulations to the SeISmO team.

~ Sachin Tendulkar, Cricketer.

Well, if you have read thus far, please accept my apologies. The magazine committee expected a lot of letters like this. But since nothing came, I myself wrote all these letters to make them happy! Since this is the APRIL edition, this is a ploy to fool you!

~ The Messiah, SISO

... Vamsi Krishna Vs Krishnamachari [2007] ...

2007-01-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

[This was written for an assignment in my Business Law course. The prof had told that we can write anything about law! People had written about cyber laws, Napster case study, Singur issue, review of a John Grisham novel and what not..! As usual, I started at the last minute! Not knowing what to write, I thought I would do something about my old habit - of writing stories! What follows is my assignment :) ]

Vamsi Krishna Vs Krishnamachari [2007] may seem like a typical study of a case in the court of law. But this is not. This is a story of the CEO of a company Vs the lawyer of the company and their arguments in a meeting on a particular day. (Considering this is submitted as an assignment for a business law paper) No prizes for guessing who wins in the end. J

In the process of the story, the following elements of the ‘Law of Contract’ are explained – the nature and scope of the law, elements of a contract and types of contracts, consideration & capacity of parties are covered. The aspects like offer & acceptance, free consent, legality of object and consideration, contingent contracts, performance of contract, discharge of contract, remedies for a breach of contract & quasi contracts are not covered in detail.

In short, Sections 1 to 12 of the act with the exception of offer & acceptance are covered in detail and the sections are 12 are not covered in detail.

Now to the story!

The whole office was waiting with bated breath. The new CEO, Vamsi Krishna, the son-in-law of Nagarjuna, the CMD of this family owned Textile Company was joining office that day. He was just back from an executive MBA course in the US of A.

He came in sharp at 9.00 am and walked into his cabin. He had his old buddies in that office. He called them all and asked them about the state of affairs of the company then. A booming economy ensured that the company made enough profits in the last couple of years. With FDI in retail being opened up slowly, they expected a lot of action in the future.

Vamsi saw an Ambani getting built in him. However, his friends opined – “That may not be possible… because there is one Mr. Krishnamachari…”

“Who is this Krishnamachari?” asked Vamsi.

“He is the company lawyer… He never lets anything go beyond the strictest legal boundaries that he has drawn… However, since your father-in-law is a close friend of his, we are not able to do anything…”

“I will take care of him… Do not worry about that… I had a Business Law course in my MBA and I know most of the business laws across the world. I guess he can be done away with” said Vamsi and closed that meeting.

Vamsi had a couple of heated arguments with his father-in-law that there is no need for a full time lawyer in the company since he had come in and had knowledge of the business laws. After a few days, the father-in-law was fed up with this discussion and told Vamsi thus “Vamsi... Look here, I will arrange for a meeting with Krishnamachari... If you can answer his simple questions on contract law that is vital in a business, we can have him out of our rolls and have him just as a consultant but if you cannot, we will retain him.”

After a bit of thought, Vamsi agreed and went in search of his business law presentations from the class.

The meeting started. The old man Krishnamachari walked in with his commanding appeal. The sight of him sent a bit of shiver in Vamsi’s spine. But he regained in composure soon and they started off after a couple of exchanges greeting each other.

With his commanding voice, Krishnamachari started, “Well Sir, what do you think is law?”

Vamsi replied, “As defined by Holland, Law is a rule of external human action enforced by the sovereign political authority”

“Good, you seem to have a terrible grasp of a few text books!! But my definition of law would just be ‘refined common sense’. Just following the text book would be dangerous sometimes. If B kills A and if it is proved that B had no intention to kill A, the law may take a lenient view than if it is proved that B had the intention of killing A. So mugging up the text books may not provide clues here. Nevertheless, that was an ice breaker. Let us get into the contracts now”

“Yes, Sir” Vamsi seemed to have gained confidence.

“What happens if you are not aware of a particular illegal activity and you enter into a contract relating to that? Will you be punished?”

“Well, why so? I will not be. I can always claim that I did not know the law clearly”

“No, my friend. ‘Ignorantia juris no excusat.’ That means, ‘Ignorance of law is no excuse’. If that is allowed, every other man can claim ignorance and act illegally, can’t he?”

“…”

Nagarjuna was watching this over video from a closed room. He smiled and thought to himself, ‘Krishnamachari is slowly getting into the groove’

Krishnamachari continued “Alright, Vamsi. Let us move on… On an average, how many contracts do you enter into in a day?”

“That depends on the day and the business I am into, isn’t it? This question looks silly to me”

“Hmm, may be silly! But your answer proves your ignorance again… When one purchases a commodity either by paying cost or credit basis or deposits his money into a bank account or keeps his luggage in cloak room, he enters into a contract. In general, the Law of contract determines the circumstances in which promises given by the parties to a contract shall be legally binding on them.”

“Oh, then I may be getting to at least 10-15 contracts every day…”

“Well, may be more… Now, next… would you explain me the scope of the law of contract?”

Vamsi could immediately recollect his presentations “Every business or commercial transaction basically starts from an agreement between two or more persons or parties. This act deals with the general principles of the law of contracts and with certain special contracts such as contracts of indemnity and guarantee. It does not deal with the contracts relating to the sale of goods, partnership, negotiable instruments, bills of lading, insurance, railways etc as there are separate acts to deal with such contracts.”

“Hmm... Good!!”

Vamsi continued with an example, “Suppose one Mr. Ambani enters into a contract with a paper mill to supply paper by a definite date. If the contract is broken by the paper mill, Mr. Ambani can claim damages from the court and will not suffer any loss.”

“That is a good example!! Vamsi, now would you tell me the difference between damage and damages!

“I hope this is not a test of English… I know that damages is the plural form for the word damage”, said Vamsi in a sarcastic tone.

“Well, Sir. I have never crossed the shores of this country, not certainly to the US. So let us assume that you know better English. But in legalese, damage means ‘Any harm or injury resulting from a violation of a legal right’ and damages means ‘A sum of money paid in compensation for loss or injury’. Got it, Sir?”

“Yes...” mumbled Vamsi.

“Good… Now, would you tell me the difference between an agreement and a contract?”

“Yes, I know this for sure” smiled Vamsi and continued, “An agreement is an offer plus the acceptance whereas a contract is an agreement plus its enforceability by law, that is, there should be a legal obligation in it. Thus all agreements are not contracts while all contracts have an agreement as part of them”

“Excellent, Vamsi! Salmond has remarked on this thus: “the law of contracts is not the whole law of agreements nor is it the whole law of obligations. It is the law of those agreements that create obligations and those obligations which have their sources in agreements”.

As he was watching this, Nagarjuna got a feeling that Vamsi too was getting to feel the importance of having someone like Krishnamachari by his side.

After a short break, the questions continued. Krishnamachari started, “Vamsi, a text-bookish question again to make you comfortable. Would you tell me the essential elements of valid contracts?”

Vamsi smiled and then answered, “Well, ‘All agreements are contracts if they are made by the free consent of parties competent to contract, for a lawful consideration and with a lawful object and are not hereby expressly declared to be void’ is the definition from the text book. Now let me use the board here and write down my points so that you may ask more questions from them”.

Both of them had a hearty laughter and Vamsi started writing down. Nagarjuna felt Vamsi and Krishnamachari were getting cozier by the minute.

Vamsi wrote the following in the board

There must be an agreement - The proposal as well as the acceptance should be definite.

Parties must be competent - Competent means the person should be a major, should be in sound mind and who is not disqualified from contracts by any law

There should be an intention to create a legal relationship

Once Vamsi wrote this, Krish (his name is too long, we will call him this way from now, though he may have terrible reservations about it!) asked, “Vamsi, do you understand this part well?”
“Yeah, it looks a no-brainer to me! All contracts would carry a legal obligation”

“True, but you got to remember the famous case of one ‘Rose & Frank Vs Crompton Brothers Ltd’ that had an agreement that states –‘The agreement is not entered into as a formal or a legal agreement and shall not be subject to legal jurisdiction in the law courts’”

“Oh God, I got to read every agreement of mine to make sure no one has inserted this mischievous clause somewhere”

Suddenly there was a voice. “Probably that is where a lawyer helps”. It was Nagarjuna! He had spoken out of reflex and the voice was audible in the meeting room.

“You listening to us, uncle?” asked a surprised Vamsi.

“Oh no, was just passing by and heard you speak…I am leaving now!” And Nagarjuna went out of that room. He was now convinced that Krish and Vamsi would come out as friends.

Vamsi continued to write.

There must be a free consent of parties to the agreement

Krish interrupted again, “What does it mean?”

Vamsi said, “This means that there should not have been any coercion, undue influence, fraud, misrepresentation or mistake. If there is one, the agreement is not valid in the court of law”

“But that is what happens in all your Bollywood tamasha, isn’t it? How do you accept it? By the way, do you know about the provisions for contracts with pardanashin women? I believe you have a lot of your clients who are from the Muslim community and who have their businesses in their wives names!”

“Yes, a lot of our dealers and agents are Muslims. Is there a special provision for pardanashin women?”

“Yes! There are a few facts to be proved in order to prove that the contract entered into with a pardanashin woman has not been induced by undue influence. That includes ‘the deed when executed was fully explained to the pardanashin woman; the woman received an independent and disinterested advice in this regard” and “the woman had complete knowledge of the nature and the effect of the transaction”

“Oh boy! I don’t believe this. How does my uncle deal with them?”

“Well, er… “

“What? Speak out”

“He has me by his side…”

Both had a hearty laughter one more time! Vamsi continued to write.

Lawful consideration - For a valid contract, such a consideration must be lawful. The agreement is enforceable legally only when both the parties to it give something and receive something in return

Legal or lawful object - The objective of the agreement must essentially be legal.

Agreement not expressly declared void by law

Just as Vamsi was writing peacefully without an interruption for a couple of minutes, Krish started “Hold it, Sir. Do you understand the difference between void and voidable?”

Vamsi thinks for a while and says, “I may think of something in English but that may not match with your legalese. So better you say! All I know now is – this discussion was avoidable if I had agreed to Nag uncle”.

They laughed again and then Krish said “In law, a transaction or action which is voidable is valid, but may be annulled by one of the parties to the transaction. Voidable is usually used in distinction to void ab initio”

“Caught again! What is this ab initio now?”

“It means ‘from the outset’, that is void from the outset”

“Oh..! That is why law is dreaded!!”

“No, my friend. Law is just refined common sense. We lawyers use these Latin phrases just to make an impression”. Laughter again and Vamsi continued to write

Compliance with legal formalities – Legal formality does not specify that a contract must be in writing. It can be made by word of mouth. However, to be able to prove in a court of law easily, a written document may help. There are certain cases where the document should be stamped & registered

“You got it right, Sir. No questions!” said Krish.

Certainty of performance

After writing this, Vamsi stopped himself and said, “Well I do not understand this”

Krish helped him, “What is means is - If the meaning of an agreement is not certain, or capable of being made certain, the agreement is void. Even an agreement to a future is not a contract. In the famous case of Loftus V Roberts case, a contract was made with an actress that her salary would be mutually agreed upon ‘later’. That agreement was not considered as a valid contract”

“Oh, I got it now! Thanks” Vamsi continued.

Lex Non Cogit Ad Impossibilia

“Well you seem to be picking up as well” quipped Krish “but do you know the meaning of that”

“I do, Sir. It means that the law does not compel in any way to do what is impossible”

“Perfect, Sir. I should admit that you too are good in making impressions”. At the risk of sounding clichéd, we got to mention again that they had a hearty laughter after this.

They took a break here and met after 10 minutes!

When they met again, Krish asked Vamsi to classify the contracts! Again a white board was used and Vamsi wrote down his knowledge. What he wrote and the information from their subsequent discussions are summarized below.

Express Contracts – the ones where every clause is mentioned explicitly
Implied Contracts – the ones where the contract is implied. When one goes to a restaurant, there is an implied contract that he is going to pay for what he eats.
Quasi Contracts – Krish had used an example to explain this to Vamsi! Suppose a businessman by mistake leaves a few of his articles (that are for sale) at the residence of someone. If that someone starts using the articles as if it is his own, he should pay the businessman for that. This is nothing but a quasi contract
Executed Contracts – When both parties fulfill their obligation, the contract has been ‘executed’
Executory Contracts – When one of the parties has something to complete yet, it is ‘executory’
Unilateral and Bilateral Contracts – When one party completes his obligation when the contract comes into force, it is unilateral while in bilateral, both the parties would fulfill their obligations after the contract is made.
Formal and Simple Contracts – The validity of formal contracts depends upon their form only and no consideration is required. In order to be valid and binding, they are required to satisfy certain legal formalities. All contracts other than formal contracts are termed as simple contracts. We would be missing an important part here had Krish not intervened – Formal contracts are not valid in India, they have been recognized only under English law.
Valid Contract – that has all the essential elements in it
Void Contract – A contract may be valid when entered into but because of impossibility of its performance due to a genuine reason or because of change of law, it may become void
Illegal Contract – One that is contrary to law. All illegal agreements are void but all void agreements are not illegal.

Then they jumped into discussing consideration. By this time, Nagarjuna too joined them. The gist of their discussion is presented below.

Consideration is a very essential element for formation of a valid contract. A contract is void without consideration subject to certain exceptions. According to Sir Pollock, ‘Consideration is the price for which the promise of the other person is brought’. Justice Fatterson defines it as ‘Something which is of value in the eye of law. It may be some benefit to the plaintiff or some detriment to the defendant’

An Example that Krish gave here was “When Vamsi employs a person as the watchman of his factory, the considerations here are that the watchman would provide his service and Vamsi would pay him the salary”

From their discussion, the essential elements of a contract were found to be these:

May be an act to do something or abstinence or forbearance of doing something
May be past, present (executed) or future (executory)
Consideration must be real and not illusory
Should move at the desire of the promisor

Krish used a case to explain this. In Durga Prasad Vs Baldeo case, a builder at his own expense but at the desire of the collector of the district spent some money on the construction and improvement of the market. In consideration of this, a shop keeper who was using the market assured to pay certain amount to the builder. It was held in the case that the builder, who was the promise, constructed the market by spending certain amount at the desire of the collector of the district and not at the desire of the shopkeeper and therefore, the agreement was not valid for the want of a good consideration.

Consideration may move from the desire of any person including the promise

An example by Krish again: In Chinnayya Vs Ramayya case, by a deed of gift, an old lady gifted certain property to her daughter ‘R’ and directed R that she should pay an annuity to her relative ‘C’/ Accordingly, the agreement was executed in writing. But later on R refused to fulfill her promise on the ground of lack of sufficient consideration. Madras High court help that the words promise or any other person in Section 2(d) of the act shows that a stranger to the consideration can maintain the suit.

For supporting each independent promise, there must be an independent consideration
Consideration need not be adequate
Consideration is something which the promisor is not already bound to
Consideration must be valuable at the eyes of law

Finally, the schedule time for the meeting came to an end. Vamsi realized that the last couple of sessions had only Krish speaking and he did not have anything to offer for discussion, forget answering Knish’s questions. As you guessed, he had made his decision.

Nagarjuna asked, “Mr. CEO, what do you feel now? What is your decision?”

Vamsi replied, “Well Mr. CMD, I think the compensation given to the company lawyer is too low. We may have to revise it upwards very soon!!!”

As usual, there was a hearty laughter and the meeting came to an end.

References:
[1] http://dateyvs.com
[2] http://www.4lawschool.com/contracts/contracts.htm
[3] Business Law – Prof SD Geet & Prof Patil
[4] Business Law – Prof SD Geet (Symbiosis)
[5] Lectures and PPTs of Professor Murali at IIM-Bangalore

[Watch this space to find out how much I scored in this! :) ]

... The art of attaining zero productivity ...

2007-01-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

[This article was written by one THIRD EYE for our company magazine's December edition!]

As the year draws to a close, I thought of writing a piece of advice to my colleagues. After scratching my head for so long on what to advice upon, I decided to do the thing I do best – snoop at what others do to see if I get an idea. As always, I went around a company I call Tri-Star India. Following is the list of items that I could gather from there which could be of use to you! (No, I will not tell specifically which skill was learnt from which floor!!)

In summary, this contains tips on how to look busy without actually having to do anything other than orkutting and replying to old flames from the college with an alarming regularity of every 5 minutes. You may think appearing busy is easy enough. But believe me, people who have been successful in this would tell you how much of planning, dedication & commitment is needed for this. Else you may end up in having to open your Source Insight window and do some coding! Does that sound daunting? Then read on.

There is no such thing as daunting to anyone, more so for a fresh engineer as seeming to appear to be unoccupied and spending less hours in the office. The first thing to do is to visit the office gym early in the morning. You may choose to just swipe in and go home to continue the sleep. But it is very important to do this if you need to clock at least 15 hours 45 minutes & 23 seconds in the attendance records.

The next most important thing is about your work place setting. Make sure it is surrounded by all kinds of books and print outs ranging from “Hacking Linux Kernel for Dummies” (even if you work on purely on Windows) and “Software Engineering Institute’s view on the product line architecture” to “The Hitchhiker’s guide to time management” and “Metaphysical aspects in the Vedic mathematical theory”. Without these, your manager may think you are not smart. If you are running short of print outs to cover the table, do approach the human resources guys. If nothing, they can at least give you a lot of unattended resumes with them that you can use to cover your table.

When you are bored with orkutting, blogging and important things like that, one great time pass destination is the tuck shop on the terrace. But if you are caught there by your manager (who in turn will be afraid of getting caught by his manager, who in turn… you get the point), you will be in trouble. So make sure you carry a lot of print outs with you and a few notebooks! Even if you are talking about securing a home loan at the lowest rate, make sure you keep looking at the papers with you and take notes on them. This will give an impression that you are on a project discussion even when you are having a juice.

Another mechanism to spend time is what they call meetings!! Make sure you are part of every single taskforce that is created in your office. That alone will ensure that you are occupied all the time without actually having to do anything. To make an impression in the meetings (which will facilitate your entry into other taskforces), make sure to carry a file with full of print outs. Once a while, you may wake up from sleep and make a remark saying it was told by Nicholas Wirth or Philip Kotler or Peter Drucker depending on the context.

On top of all these, if you are part of the varied committees in your office that is into things like “culture development” (the one I visited had committees like CheeseMow, Manyskrti etc), you will have great fun doing nothing or at best scaling down a technical journal into a fun magazine or conducting antyakshari competitions.

These are just the basic things. As you progress, you will identify many more people like that and learn from them.

Here is wishing you all the best in this endeavor in the New Year.

... Time to Reflect ...

2006-12-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

Amigo,

With new year celebrations around, hope this greets you in the best of your spirits!! Wish you an excellent new year ahead & may all your wishes [ at least the ones you truly deserve ;-) ] come true!!

Get no harm & do no harm. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Since I am in too much of a "preachy" mood now, I better stop it. But since it would not be good if I end my email so short(!), please see excerpts from an article in Amartya Sen's Argumentative Indian at the end of this email about CALENDARS.

The blue shaded sentence below with a bold formatting would reveal the reason for the subject of this email.

Have a fun filled two-oh-oh-seven, mate!

Adios,
Kay.
*******************

...need for a calendar has been strongly felt — and well understood — well before the modern age. The calendar, in one form or another, has been an indispensable requisite of civilised life for a very long time indeed. This explains why so many calendars are so very old, and also why most civilisations, historically, have given birth to one or more specific calendars of their own.

...calendars in a particular society can teach us a great deal about its politics, culture and religion as well as its science and mathematics. This applies even to as diverse a country as India, and it is in this sense that there will be an attempt in this essay to try to understand India through its calendars.

...fact that the integer value of 365 days to the year is only approximate was, of course, known to the Indian mathematicians who constructed the calendars. To compensate for this, the periodic adjustments standardly used in many of the Indian calendars take the form of adding a leap or intercalary month (called a ‘mala masa’) to bring practice in line with the dictates of computation.

...though the divisions of time that any particular calendar gives are quite arbitrary and dependent on pure convention, nevertheless a socially devised celebratory break point in time can be an appropriate occasion for reflection on the nature of the world in which we live....

...the calendars reveal, in fact, a great deal more than just the months and the years.

*******************

Courtesy: http://www.littlemag.com/2000/sen.htm