EVERiBODi LAFU ROJAKS

Kopitiam Blowater - Cheap SD and Dont Kill Snakes!!!

2008-07-04T14:58:00.007+08:00

So ... Whats hot in kopitiams?

So ... back to the question ... when given a choice between Snake and Bala-Super-Meriam ... and you can oni kill one of them .... which wan you wanna weck? ...I dunno bout you but .... I'll take my chances with the snake! LOL!!

Lengmou Thursday

2008-07-03T12:28:00.011+08:00

Lengmou Thursday might be a permanent post category in Rojaks, basically Lengmou post is all about the latest happening shits in town/country.

Anyway flipping thru the niuspepah I found a few interesting stuffs innit.

When every-farking-body is busy increasing plice this chikin lice seller in yeepoh (Mister Lee Hon Guoon) is reducing his chikin lice from RM2.50 to RM2.00 a plate! But theres a catch you see ... the RM2.00 a plate oni available from 4pm onwards till he ran outta chikin or lice .. whichever kam first.

Dun say RM2.00 la! I'll be happy to pay RM2.50 for a plate on chikin lice in KL anytime!!! In fact I will pay him one month in advance and I will go there eat chikin lice every farking day!

Mister Lee Hon Guoon, I salute sama lu la! Not oni u got balls but u got HEART too!

[Source]

Thinking what to eat today? Well you could go for thi new dish .....

Apparently there is a new kinda food created in putrajaya, its called Roti Pak Lah. Whats innit? According to this Blog's Author ... the dish has everything innit except eggs (Telurs)!

Click on the above image to enlarge it la!

Linpeh (m regular Porn Pusher) told me just now that there is a new prank in town involving making polis repot one! This is what he told me ....

Linpeh : Yesday my frend call me from polis station
Me : Har? What happened?
Linpeh : He told me he making polis repot against his boss ....
Me : HAR??! for what?
Linpeh : He told the polis .... his boss KaikanED him 8 times!!!
Me : KAKAKAKAKAKA MAHAI LU LAR!!!
Linpeh : Yalar that fucker gila one! KAKAKAKAKAKA!!!

Looks like the latest trend is to make polis repot against your boss for Liwat case!

Just befoh i wanna click the post button ... one lenglui kam n ask me an IQ question .. she said :

Jess : What animal kok (knock) 2 times will die one?
Me : I derno ... what animal kok 2 times will die one ar?
Jess : Aiyah! so easy alo dunno! Its buaya la!
Me : Why Buaya?
Jess : Engrish call buaya what one?
Me : Crocodile lor!
Jess : yalor! Kok-kok-die mah!
Me : LOL! mehhh... lidat alo can!

Ok .. boh liow! Lunch time almost over and i notchet eat also! Diu! GO bek to work la! See what see?! LOL!

LENG MOU??!!!

Cuci Mata Wetnesday - Ginny Star Shinny

2008-07-02T13:18:00.008+08:00

Like usual ... Ahbengs n Ahpeks sekalian .... I present to you the Rules and Regulations of reading Cuci Mata Post!! Before you proceed you will agree that you will adhere to the belows rules and regulations.

No hands under the desk/table
No hands below waist level
No goto toilet TFK after reading this post
No Weak Heart ... if you got heart attack one pls ask your lokter for permission 1st.
Do not take Viagra before viewing this post, Tongkat Ali also kenot! If take ledi dun proceed ... I sked later u lau bei huet!
Others proceed under own risk.
Dun let your boss catch you staring at lengluis with a boner! You kena fire dun kam find me!

Received lotsa requests asking me to post more piktures of one of the HAWT girl I met in Nuffnang Wild Live Party and guessed what? With help from YH and Ahlob i managed to get in touch with her and she agreed to be featured in this week Cuci Mata Wetnesday post!!! You guy must be farking lucky this week!

Her name is Ginny (Yea shes a blogger too! Where is her url? its somewhere in this post la! Lets play treasure hunt shall we? :P) and she has been cast in numerous Mags covers and TV commercials and modellings etc ... here is some "disclose-able" profile of Ginny ...

Name: Ginny
Location: Cheras
Occupation: Student/ Freelance model / Part time Zoo keeper
Age: 18
Sex: Female
Race: Chinese
Weight: 44kg
Height: 5'4 (Without Heels)
Vital statistic: 32c - 24 - 34
Spoken Languages: English(fluent), Malay(fluent), Cantonese (average)
Written Languages: English, Malay

* Btw ... thos Ahbengs who want her tel no and msn contact can start bribing me now!!!

Remember this HAWT face/body/long legs? Yup shes one of the nuffies you guys been dreaming of! LOL

I know what you guys thinking now ... I also suddenly got this crave to go shwim orso! Izzit me or izzit today dem bloody hot ar?

GT Queen ... my dlim girl!!!

Jiejie!!! Can I sit beside lu??!! Can I? CAN I?!!! *wipe nose bleed*

So purpleeee!!!So deep!!!!! I can almost drown!!!

Phuiyo ... Angel jiejie u so leng la!

*almost outta tisu to wipe nose bleed edi*

Miss Hypertune Finalist .....

Ginny jiejie in Teens Mag

Oi! Kambek! Kambek!!! where u go ledi!!! Still working hours leh! Pinis ledi la! Stop Dliming and Go bek to work la! LOL!

MCH! Hafta buy more tisu n keep in opis this weekend ... keep bleeding lidis will die very fast wan! lol

btw ... if you wanna see more piktures of HAWT Ms. Ginny ... goto her Blog la!!! I go look for Bunny Jiejie first ... see she wanna be feature in Cuci Mata next week anot ok? Wish me luck wei!

Kopitiam Blowater - Ahbengs Got IQ wan u know?

2008-07-01T11:33:00.006+08:00

I suddenly got this crave of eating Turkish food .... you think the Turkish food in Turkey Embassy is nice anot ar? :P

Want lidis meh? This drama re-run so many time ledi wei! Got new drama anot?

Lines everyone should know.

2008-06-30T01:01:00.003+08:00

Filler post - something i found in my email. Dont feel well enuff to think of tuffs to blog today ...

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:............. What da fark was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day!............. Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful you............ have such an fugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love......... After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life........... I never believed in Hell until I met you."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am....... that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!.......... I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Before you go,......... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married............ but not to you."

"You look great for your age.......Almost Lifelike!"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me......... Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend....... So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."

"We have been friends for a very long time........... What do you say we call it quits?"

"I'm so miserable without you.................. It's almost like you're here."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy............... Did you ever find out who the father was?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday--------- So we're having you put to sleep."

Its Weekend la!

2008-06-29T00:03:00.003+08:00

I was toking to Ahlian and I told her this song made me feel so relaxed n warm and fuzzy

The girl from ipanema - Nat King Cole

But she said this song more lum wor!

L-O-V-E - Nat King Cole

What say you? Which one you prefer? The girl from ipanema or L-O-V-E? By the way .. both song also by Nat King Cole wan ... so if you derno who is Nat King Cole then u goan phuack yoself la!!!

Kopitiam Blowater - Parliment Throw Shit Contest!

2008-06-27T13:31:00.003+08:00

I really wish they would spend more time in fixing our shit rather than create more shit for their own amusement purposes! We got enuff Professional Shitter in teh kanteri ledi la! You wanna drama can lar but first pulez clean up the existing shit first la diu! Whole kanteri is fulla shit now ... you goan make more shit for wat fark?!

* Ahbeng DICKteneri
Professional Shitter : One who got paid just to tok labish n eat n shit! Anyone can be a Professional Shitter! No nid go thru the erection to find one!

What you think? whose side is the media on this time? *evil grin*

Kopitiam Blowater - Ahbengs Be Smart! Buy Petrol Look Kad!

2008-06-26T11:24:00.005+08:00

Remembered the quote "Customers is owaz rite"? If this is true then how come the petrol stesen is squeezing our balls?!! U got pobems with the banks you go fark them la! U char 9 our balls for wat fark? We paying you wan leh! We self serbis one leh!

What cost increase? You goan hire banglas stand there for wat fark? Banglas can serbis us? Wipe our widnscreen? Ask us "Cash or card?" Lidat call serbis? The bangla cant even speak BM to save his own life! No thanks we are capable of self serbis!

So dun try to take our credit card points from us!!! We wanna redeem kilometrico pen at the end of the year wan!!! Why kilometrico pen? What else can you claim? Judging from our inflation rate .... by the end of the year .... that bloody paria non stick wok will gonna cost you 999,923,355 point to redeem ... so my points is only good for kilometrico pen oni!

Click on image to enlarge it, the last pikture got too much text which is not so readable if you dun enlarge it.

Ahbengs pls be smart! Buy petrol pls Look Card!

Cuci Mata Wetnesday - SpongeBob Grown Up Alredi!

2008-06-25T13:27:00.006+08:00

Sometime we as the writer will not know whether our "article" is good anot wan! To us of coz its good la! But whether the readers likit anot .. thats anoder question lor! There is a new poll located at the left panel underneath the nuffnang ads, if dun mind gibe feedback can? Much appreciated!

I tried to make a cuci mata post since 10am but I surrendered to my work ... totally kenot find time to even post any pics!!! ARGHH!!! Then lunch time kam thot can post la! ... mana tau lotsa uninvited guests also kam! so its 3:15 pm now and here i am typing out this simply Cuci-Mata post.

I actually thot wanna skip today post edi bcoz dem farking busy! Buden after yesday mia "horniest Country" post to which i thot i must have made lotsa contirbution in making Mareysia a one of the hamsap-est nation in the world I must post more cuci-mata post wan ... that way we can keep our most hamsap-est nation mia title!!! Maybe one day i can get a latuk title for my hamsap contributions lol!!!!

Bek to today mia cuci mata post ... lotsa teens nowadays grow up watching spongebob cartoon rite? After so many years .... Spongebob alo grown up ledi la!

Of coz in cartun you kenot see the Grownup Spongebob mia version la but in Rojaks we think of everything for lu edi ....

So Ladies and Genitalmen!!!! I present to you Grown up SpongeBOOB!!!!

TAADAAAAA!!!

What you mean where is SpongeBooB? There la! There! There! The yellow color fler with big big EYES!!! can see anot?!!! .... oi Ahpek hands mana pigi?!!! Taruk balik on the table!!!

Now now you seen the Grown up version of SpongeBooB ledi ... which one you prefer? Young Spongebob or Grown Up SpongeBooB version?

Horniest Country? Askmen!

2008-06-24T10:40:00.003+08:00

Are you single or hamsap? Are you currently planning a holiday or werking trip abroad and derno where to go? Werry not as we in Rojak owax cater for the needs of our hamsap Ahbengz members wan! We search the web for the most hamsap stuffs so you dont have to! LOL!

Ok la ok la i bruff 9 u one la! The actual story is One of my regular P0rn pusher (Uncle Linpeh) today show me an australian website call "ASKMEN.COM" they published a list of horniest countries on earth with a guide on how and where to get your puzzies!!! Niahma untung lar u all hamsap farkers! lol!

Suprisingly Malaysia is in no.7 .... Judging from all the hamsap Ahbengz/Ahpekz I known ... we should be in no.1 position la!!! You dont briff you ask Linpeh and see!

Anyway this article mentioned Malaysia lidis one .....

Malaysia

"In public, this country definitely appears conservative. For example, there was a recent controversy over whether sex education should be taught in high school or not -- not exactly sexually liberated. However, behind closed doors lies (pun totally intended) the real story: Malaysians are swinging from the bedposts, and loving every minute of it. Occasionally we'll get a glimpse of it - like when Malaysia's Minister of Health was forced to step down after his homemade sex tapes made the rounds in January of 2008.

Horny hangouts: In Kuala Lumpur, check out these bars and clubs for a straightforward party: Aloha, Poppy Bar or the Rum Jungle. To “choose your own adventure” visit the Beach Club where there’s a good chance a girl comes at a price, but she'll be worth every penny."

Now i know why Linpeh is so hamsap la! that fler mia opis near to all these horny place wan! LOL!

Bitch club really got "girl with plice" one meh? Anyone tried it befoh anot??!!!! Dun shy shy la! faster share your sexperience here!!

China is in No.4 as the horniest country beating the crap out of us .... maybe i should take that China's job offering now ..... lol

Horniest Country Top 10 List!
1. Greece
2. Brazil
3. Russia
4. China
5. Poland
6. Italy
7. MALAYSIA BULLEH!!!!
8. Spain
9. Switzerland
10. Mexico Latino!!!

Now ... after reading this post you got this sudden feel to go to Greece, Russia or China anot?

Wanna read more to see if i got bruff 9 u anot? Go HERE la! Niahma ... you better buy me souvinier when u kambek from your sexciting trip!

Nuffnang Wild Live Blogging Party - Nose Bleed Piktures!!

2008-06-23T12:00:00.012+08:00

Naihma I tell you Who no go Nuffnang mia Wild Live Blogging party now can go bang yo own balls till they turn blu-black! No briff? Nah let you see abit sample la!

But first you kena get ready some Tissue paper ... standby la ... gerentik nosebleed one i tell u! All hands on desk ok? mch still erly la!

This one my Feberet pikture of the nuffy gers .... who got high blood pressure better dun see long long ... later kena heart ehtek!

The more u see .. the more high your blood pressure wan!

Jie-jie bunny ... can i bwing u home? I lafu carrot one leh!

2 chiew kap mou tik lengluis .... Ringo and PlincessJane

Erm ... who can tell me where their blogs??!! I gibe lu rewards!!! lol

Chicken playing with cow mia pink KKC .... this cow got 4 KKCs wan! LOL!

Pink pau, Suet Li and Lioness .... *looking for tisu*

Can you feel the *electrict* yet? *bzz-bzz* Kena sot sial!

Phuiyo side view!!!! can see ... *ahem* the actual size lol!

Msia dlim girl Ringo ... i everynite also got dlim of her wan! *lau bei huet*

this bunny is the ladyboss!!!

2 supah sizzling hot ... hottar than hot plate mia ladybugs

2 hottest mouz

msia dlim girl hani, adeline and bunny jiejie .... I so wanna dlim now!!!

Bunny jiejie drink carrot juice! My houz got lotsa carrot leh!

Dlim ger adeline, Michelle domdom and skyler

look at bunny jiejie mia waist ..... *drools*

Suet Li with the Dlim gers

Ringo with Cow with 4 lembik KKCs lol

This Jiejie cold edi .... go wear Tshirt ... no more HAWT! LOL!

Hi korkor~~ Vote for me!

3 finalist of bet dressed mamamiaaa~~~

If you bored of looking at the front edi ... nah here the rear view! As juicy as the front view wan!

LEGSS!!!! peacock, ostrich and a bee taking piktures with a half man gorrila!

How? Nose bleed edi anot? If not yet then u go bang your nose on the wall la! You obviously mati pucuk ledi wan! no die orso no use! Wuahahahaha!

Mana my pikture? I avoiding the camera like a bad case of STD la! I dunwan pollute ppl mia camera with my fugly pic! Later camera spoil ledi they ask me pay bek how?! KAKAKAKA!

Then of coz .. other than nose bleed we also got obscene 18SX stuffs to show you .... there is this dude .... walking around with a HUGE dick on his face! A black nigga KKC! Dont briff? See the pikture below! This is 18SX stuffs ok? if you notchet 18 yrs old ... pls dun continue!

SHAD the Huge Dick guy! See? That fler flashing his KKC at everyone! LOL! The lenglui beside him is electronicfly

Chicken man raping Mr. Spidey lol! 18x also!

* Note : I tarak bwing my own camera .... all piktures here belongs to either one of them broggers below :

If i left out anyone whom piktures is displayed in this post, feel free to inform me wokeh? Dun shy shy la! Dun wanna kane sue for infringement of kopirite!

Cant wait for the next upkambing nuffnang's party .... they freaking know how to throw powderful and hawt party wan!!! WELLDONE Nuffnang! I lafu yew!

Nuffnang Wild Live Party LIVE!

2008-06-21T19:45:00.002+08:00

As usual ... AYAM HERE AGAIN!!! Where lu?

Got many longkang to see here!!! Who no come really LUGILA!!!

I whole nite busy wipping bei huet from my nose man!!!! *sniff sniff* Dun jeles can?!

Kopitiam Blowater - Majiam Majiam in Niuspehpa!

2008-06-19T14:14:00.004+08:00

If got nothing better to say ... better keep quiet? i dunno ... what u think? lol

Wild Animal Party Anyone?

2008-06-13T14:35:00.005+08:00

Who want go wild wild mia party, fast fast put up your hand up! Nuffnang and Maxis got one party kambing and only 150 lucky peeple get to go and shake their buntut she bang style! Kam on everybodi, repeat after me, “Shake your bon bon, shake your bon bon…she bang, she bang…” Something lidat lar.

As usual …I will tell lu how to gerenti your inbitation to the party. First, you kasi write a blog post with this title “Roaring My Way to Nuffnang Wild ‘Live’ Blogging” and then faster send an email to Nuffnang with your permalink.

Hah? Why lidis you ask me? Ask Boss Stewie lar!

I tell you a secret ar…got three top prizes one u no? Not one, but THREE! TIGA!!!! SAM! ANJI* *ngek ngek ngek* You want more information? Go to Nuffnang lar!

I dunch habe to tell you that Boss Stewie and his Nuffnang team always throw funtastic parties wan…and this time, the theme for the party is ANIMAL theme! Means you come to the party dressed like an animal lar, not you bring your hamsters cats dogs or pet pig wokeh!

Will I go? Of coz la! I been to several bloggers gathering and even hosted one befoh but this one is spesel mia party … this one got umph mia! I always blogs at party bcoz my face too fugly and nobody wanna tok to me wan … so I pretend to be busy and blogs so ppl wont know I actually got no frend one la! This party very ngam me bcoz the all powderful Maxis is providing all the powderful broadband connection at the party so we can blog! Amajiam? Powder anot lu say?

Since this is a kostum party … I been thinking what kinda animal shall I go as? Some suggest Hippo (Kanneh!) some says Pig (niahma! This one no nid kustom la!) then got one lagi best! He asked me to come as ladybird! Lady got bird wan meh?!!! Ladybird is a tranny leh!!! I Macho mia man ok!! No Ladybird wan! … then I think think I will kam in frog kostum la! ….. Why frog? I want mehnee mehnee charbohs kiss me!!! Why got kiss? You mean you neber heard of if girls kiss a frog then the frog will turn into hansem prince wan ar? Summore I memang hensem inside wan. Now I just need a lot of mui mui jais to muax muax me, then I complete ledi. Hensem inside AND outside! You think got any mui mui jais come kiss me and make me a prince anot jek?

Who wan to turn me into a hensem a prince, faster Q up at the Nuffnang party entrance and take a number ok? I sit there wait for u to kiss me lol!

What if no mui mui come kiss me turn me into a hensem prince? I bring my laptop and blog L-I-V-E at the party lor! This spesel feature spesially brought to you by no other than Maxis broadband. Maxis hou! Maxis geng! Maxis mou duck ding! I lafu yew Maxis! Tenkiu yew!
Eh, what’s the big deal ar you ask me? First time Nuffnang party got L-I-V-E blogging gathering wokeh! Die die oso I bring my laptop to blog lor…got prize you know! Wanna know what prize? Go to Nuffnang lar! I not free now … gonna start designing my frog mia kostum ledi! You got any cheap tailor to rekomen anot?

So what you waiting for? Faster write your post and send an email to wildlive@nuffnang.com lar! Dunch forget to include your permalink ok? If you r a blogger and you derno what is permalink then u goan let ghost push la! See lu there!!

If you see a semi-hensem frog leaping around, dunch forget to kam gibe me a kiss. I very frenly wan!

Cuci Mata WETnesday - OSushi Desuka?

2008-06-11T11:32:00.003+08:00

Got lotsa ppl messaged me lately (especially scotty the angmoh celup) and ask me why no more cuci mata post one? Skool holidei la! lotsa kids sufring the internet so i dun wanna be a bad influence la! thats why lol (yala yala i bruff wan la! I farking buzy trying to stay alive especially after the petrol hike!)

Anyway .. heres your this week version of cuci mata post .. enjoy!

There is this Sushi bar somewhere in the world ....

where they serves sushi on fresh flesh wan!!!

see the artistic way they arranged their sushi anot? look at the plate la!!

This plate not very even la! got so many curves wan! how to hold the sushi prolerly?!

Fresh flesh eating fresh flesh! LOL

Plate also can eat wan!! TERROR LA!

AH! angmoh lafu fresh sushi also!!!

Eh ... why my plate moving one geh?

This is what i call ... lick the plate clean!!!

So now, i know that most of you would wanna ask me ... where the hiao is this place? If I knew .. you would be seing my face in these piktures! Not them!!! KAKAKAKAKA!!!

Kopitiam Blowater - SAPP u RAWKS!!!

2008-06-10T13:40:00.004+08:00

On Change yo lifestyle ... 2 of us spent RM3.80 on dinner yesday nite and today i only spent RM3.50 so far for blekfas n lunch. I wonder whether i can keep doing this everydei anot? Buden ... that one not yet including petrol mia money la!!!

An Excerpt taken from Politic 101 Malaysia's blog :

[Barisan Nasional component party Sabah Progressive Party (Sapp) leaders did not mince their words in lambasting the federal government for the drastic fuel hike which was announced on Wednesday.

While Sapp president Yong Teck Lee warned Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi of a serious political fallout for the BN, the party’s youth wing went a step further by calling for the resignation of Abdullah and his ministers, reports malaysiakini.]

Elo MCA? Calling calling MCA? Over... over ....

Kopitiam Blowater - RM645 SubSILLY is to Benefit Who Wan?

2008-06-08T17:55:00.008+08:00

If you tell me lidis ...

You : eh i pay you RM645/year u lemme raise petrol price la!

Then i tell u bek lidis ...

Me : eh ... i pay u RM645 a year la! u dun raise petrol price can?!

Why you do to me can but i do to u kenot wan? This Subsilly thingy .... in the end who getting the benefits?

Kopitiam Blowater - Our Petrol Still Cheap leh!

2008-06-06T00:36:00.007+08:00

I think 99% of the peeple in our country opposed to the crazy increase of petrol retail price announced yesday, the other 1% is either cronies or insane or rich ppl.

Yar rite ... they got gibe rebate to car below 2,000cc but what about those no car(s) wan? Why they have to suffer with the price increase of necessities foodstuffs since then dont drive? What kinda compensations/ subsilly they will get?

Now petrol go up edi ... its inevitable that others things that we regularly used will increase too! This is because the price of transportation increased ledi!

Whos suffering now? Farkiu la!

Kopitiam Blowater - Mat Rempit Also Despo Ledi!

2008-06-05T01:16:00.006+08:00

Yesday nite .... while driving home going thru all the massive jam by those who is trying to get the last remaining drops of RM1.92/liter petrol .... i can feel the air is filled with angers, depressions and dissatisfactions .... I cant help but feel that I myself was at a lost of directions too .... you felt the same too?

I long time no draw edi .... today i suddenly felt the urge to express all my dissatisfactions with my terribly fugly artistic skills of mine.

NOTE : Cant really show the full size drawings thru blogspot interface, so if you got "old fawer" ledi ... then just click on the images to get a better view or to read the caption of the "cartoon" since the text is also kinda small for those with "old fawer"

What you think? True anot?