Nobisomania

Are you listening, Frank Black Francis?

2009-10-20T19:39:00.006-05:00

I was flipping through an old notebook and noticed it appears that I spent the majority of a conference session at the National Council of Teachers of English a few years ago pondering which songs the Pixies (circa 1989) should cover (yes, I should've paid better attention to the session, but hey, the Pixies cannot be denied). I probably meant to post it here ages ago, and knowing myself, I inevitably must have started debating the entries on the list so much that I never posted it. Well, forget that. And forget the necessary rips in the time-space continuum to make this dream happen. Here you go; I give you the Top Five Songs the Pixies (circa 1989) Should Cover:

5. "Take the Money and Run," Steve Miller Band: Imagine the Kim Deal "woo-woos." I get all twitterpated just thinkin' about it.

4. A JB tie: "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" or "Super Bad," by James Brown. Joey Santiago's guitar on "Papa" would just kill.

3. "Somebody's Watching Me," by Rockwell. I'm not sure why. I just suspect it'd be quite good.

2. "Folsom Prison Blues," by Johnny Cash. Why? Picture Frank Black Francis delivering the famous line, "I shot a man in Reno / just to -- watch -- him -- diiiiee." That's why.

1. "Hey Ya," by Outkast. This one came out a conversation with my brother, and I don't remember which of us thought of this first. But that doesn't matter. Seriously, just imagine that for a moment.

That sweet, sweet sound

2009-10-13T14:33:00.004-05:00

This is quite possibly the best comic strip ever.

Or at the very least, in a long, long, looong time.

Little D and the Serfdom

2009-05-25T19:36:00.006-05:00

This idea to turn Detroit into an urban core surrounded by "villages" is about the smartest idea I've heard yet about what to do with the city's vast expanse of land. Much of what lies within Detroit city limits is uninhabited anyway, and with the growing push to expand urban agriculture, this plan seems to solve several problems at once. But, it's the D, and nothing is easy. Help me troubleshoot this one. It seems too sensible. Am I missing something? (Aside from the fact that Monica Conyers would find some way to screw it all up, perhaps by declaring herself queen?)

And more (the full editorial on which the video linked above is based), this time with a touch of hope.

Michigan Good, part I

2009-05-12T19:51:00.003-05:00

It's always cool when an astronaut is from your home state, but it's even cooler when he started out fixing cars while going to the local community college (see the sidebar on the right of that page--word to Oakland Community College!).

See kids, you don't need to go to Harvard to be successful. Three cheers for higher-quality-than-most-people-think, affordable higher education!

Can you tell I'm a proponent of community colleges?

And how did Cobra Commander even see out of that helmet?

2009-05-11T20:39:00.002-05:00

For my money, this joke doesn't get made nearly enough.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

2009-04-20T05:21:00.002-05:00

Aaaahhh, now that's more like it!

Ha-ha?

2009-04-19T18:37:00.005-05:00

Wait a minute, am I supposed to feel better now?

I like it a lot better when Jeffy just says something stupid. Ah, Jeffy...

They will, of course, hate it all

2009-02-20T10:38:00.010-05:00

The Onion A.V. Club took on a great question this week, "If you could make a single book, film, or album required material to graduate from high school, what would it be?"

Aside from agreeing with Genevieve Koski's response (good lord, I'm going to miss the newspaper), I would add two replies that don't directly answer the question.

Instead of choosing one piece, I would say that we need to show any film or TV show, but instead of just sitting back and passively watching it (which is far, far, far, far too common in our high schools), we teachers need to teach students about the visual literacy skills being used. We've been teaching kids how to read books for decades (centuries, even), but like it or not, verbal text is not the dominant form of storytelling or communication anymore. To be truly literate today, students need to understand the grammar of lighting, framing, sound, and camera angles in addition to ye olde commas and apostrophes.

If you disagree, then consider the poor quality of the last YouTube video you watched. Exactly.

And then, perhaps even more importantly, we need to teach media literacy, so students can critically deconstruct and analyze all of the above. If you disagree about the need for these skills, see exhibit "Nation Elected G. W. Bush twice."

Quote of the Day

2009-01-07T20:01:00.003-05:00

I was talking about student writing with another teacher, who said, "students just shouldn't use semicolons. I didn't use them until I got my master's degree."

Funny.

Well, it certainly explains a lot #3

2008-12-28T11:35:00.005-05:00

Here is another article I've been meaning to post a link to, this time about how online literacy might be changing our brains.

It would certainly explain why high school students circa 2008 have such a hard time reading To Kill a Mockingbird (which, incidentally, gets my vote for the Great American Novel).

It's 2008, not 1988

2008-12-28T10:22:00.006-05:00

NOT

I've been meaning to post a link to Mark Phelan's "7 Myths About Detroit Automakers" for awhile. I feel like I've defended the Big 3 in so many conversations at work and every holiday party I attended this year that I should've brought a copy of this column along with me. Drop some science on 'em, Mr. Phelan. Preach it.

Shrinkage

2008-12-23T10:10:00.007-05:00

Siiiigh... Michigan is once again one of two states to lose population instead of gain. Us and Rhode Island. Ugh.

I suppose this wouldn't be all bad if I were allowed to choose which people moved out of Michigan, but alas, that doesn't seem to be the case.

At least traffic should get better, right?

I think it was his dad's

2008-12-17T14:30:00.006-05:00

While I was supposed to be paying attention at a conference last month, a sartorially-challenged fella walked by our room, thereby assuring my distraction and entertainment. Here is what I wrote after watching him strut down the hall. Suffice it to say that he didn't look like the dapper chaps in the illustration.

The Ill-Fitting Suit

He had to be 23, maybe 24.
His stubbled head reflected dull beacons
from the phalanx of conference center fluorescent lights
as he strode purposefully, laughing with his co-worker
in the wan hallway.

His gray suit was a marvel.
At least a 42 long on his 5’6” frame, the jacket’s
rippling lake of wrinkles, folds, & creases
allowed only his fingertips to escape
the engulfing sleeves.
The tentworm silk slacks billowed
around space & twigs and
streamed down his tributary legs,
dragging behind his heels like minor waterfalls.

He left puddles of intent in his wake,
schmoozing and gladhanding to get ahead—
all happy hour all the time—
selling selling selling and,
undoubtedly,
saving for his own
tailored silk suit.

Well, it certainly explains a lot #2

2008-11-27T13:29:00.006-05:00

Check out this column.

Jason Whitlock makes a bushel of good points about the downside of ESPN's virtual monopoly. Granted, he works for the competition, Fox Sports, and has an ax to grind, but that doesn't preclude him from making a slew of accurate assessments about ESPN's slow and assured destruction of almost all that is good about sports. His commentary on Heisman hype alone is enough to damn ESPN:

There was a time when writers would champion guys such as Gordon Lockbaum (fifth in 1986 and third in 1988) and Joe Dudek (ninth in 1985) for the Heisman Trophy. It's difficult to believe now, but in 1982 the 10 top vote-getters were all actually really, really good college football players: Herschel Walker, John Elway, Eric Dickerson, Anthony Carter, David Rimington, Todd Blackledge, Tom Ramsey, Tony Eason, Dan Marino and Mike Rozier.

Yes, back before one television enterprise monopolized the sports world, you actually could put together a serious run at the Heisman even if you weren't the starting quarterback of the top-ranked team Kirk Herbstreit and Brent Musberger just anointed.

Since 2000, here are your Heisman Trophy winners: Chris Weinke, Eric Crouch, Carson Palmer, Jason White, Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Troy Smith and Tim Tebow.

You may notice that the list from the ESPN era is generally devoid of good NFL players, especially when compared to the 1982 list.

Allow me to provide an example. I type this as I sit waiting to head to Thanksgiving dinner to stuff myself silly with turkey, and of course, like all good and honest Michiganders (and all good and honest Americans), I'm watching the Detroit Lions get crushed by the Tennessee Titans. You may have noticed that the Titans RB Chris Johnson has almost single-handedly destroyed the Lions. You may be asking yourself, "who the hell is Chris Johnson, and if he's so good, why did I never hear about him as a college player?"

That's because Johnson comes from East Carolina University. God forbid ESPN give fair coverage to smaller schools. I live in MAC country and pay a lot of attention to MAC football. Whitlock is 100% right. Ball State is a great football team who just tore up a very, very good Western Michigan University football team, and that's largely because their quarterback is arguably the best player in the country. There are several excellent QBs from MAC schools playing, and playing well, in the NFL. Why did they never get Heisman, or even just normal, well-deserved, attention? Stupid ESPN.

In ESPN's defense, though, they are no different than the rest of the mainstream media, and at least in this case we're just talking about sports, not wars.

Betty, Sally, or ?

2008-11-26T21:17:00.002-05:00

My brief dalliance with the third person in that last post made me think of Pac Man (eg, Nobisomania and Ms. Nobisomania = Pac Man and Ms. Pac Man) which brings to mind the question, does Pac Man call his wife Ms. Pac Man? Or does he call her Betty? Clearly, she was a Betty, but I could see an argument being made for maybe a Sally.

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life #6

2008-11-26T19:01:00.009-05:00

Because if you start a blog, you should probably bother to post entries once in awhile.

Hi again. It's me, your old friend Nobisomania. No, your RSS feed isn't broken. This really is a new post. Sorry it's been so long. I've been busy. I promise, as of today, that I'll start posting regularly again. Mind you, I make no promises about posting every day or anything like that. That'd just be crazy talk.

How about a brief explanation for Nobisomania's absence of new material? In a nutshell, everything changed (in a good way), and being a slow learner, I'm just starting to get caught up.

Last February, Nobisomania asked his love interest to marry him. He was ecstatic when the poor, misled woman said yes. They both owned houses and had good jobs, so deciding where to land wasn't cut and dried. They decided to leave it up to the fates, and long story short, Nobisomania got a better job offer than Ms. Nobisomania.

So I moved. I'm now a Metro D suburbanite teaching at a high school that's about four times larger than my old one. Though I have not witnessed the rumor of Lexuses (Lexi?) in the student parking lot, the average sense of entitlement still cannot be measured by normal means. It has been a fascinating transition, and I would like to point out that I have completed the "Teacher Trifecta." I've now taught in urban, rural, and suburban schools. Word to me.

Of course, Michigan's economy being what it is, we still own two houses. This means two things: 1.) I'm saving very little money, but 2.) I own "vacation property" in Haslett.

Anyway, we got hitched up a little over a month ago (it was fantastic and lovely and a whole bunch of superlatives, and since I don't usually discuss personal matters in much detail, feel free to email me if you want to know more), and so, as I said earlier, I'm finally getting situated and caught up. Life is great in Nobisomania, and you may expect more Nobisomanian nonsense soon.

Well, it certainly explains a lot...

2008-10-02T18:34:00.006-05:00

Bobby Layne really knows how to lay down a curse.

How do you explain all those quarterbacks -- from Tobin Rote to Earl Morrall to Milt Plum to Bill Munson to Greg Landry to Gary Danielson to Jeff Komlo to Eric Hipple to Chuck Long to Rusty Hilger to Bob Gagliano to Rodney Peete to Erik Kramer to Andre Ware to Scott Mitchell to Charlie Batch to Joey Harrington to Jon Kitna -- who followed Layne, and in 50 years, only one (Landry in 1972) ever made the Pro Bowl. Only one.

How else do you explain it?

How else indeed? I don't see any other way to explain such a stellar list of classic quarterbacks.

Still not a believer? You will be once you face the mountain of evidence larger than the Pontiac Silverdome.

Of course, the good news is that the win streak starts Monday.

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life #4 & #5

2008-07-16T08:14:00.011-05:00

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life #4

No wonder so many students don't think about the ridiculous and inappropriate content they put on their MySpace and Facebook pages. It would appear that some of their teachers are even worse.

From the end of the article:

In some cases, teachers apparently didn't mind that their Web sites were raunchy and public -- at least until a reporter called. Alina Espinosa, a teacher at Clopper Mill Elementary School in Montgomery, had written on her Facebook page in the "About Me" section: "I only have two feelings: hunger and lust. Also, I slept with a hooker. Be jealous. I like to go onto Jdate [an online dating service for Jewish people] and get straight guys to agree to sleep with me."

Asked about the page, Espinosa said: "I never thought about parents and kids [seeing it] before. That's all I'm going to say."

Minutes later, access to her site was restricted.

Seriously? I'm not even close to being a Puritanical far-right conservative or anything like that, but even I have to go on record as saying that no teacher with a brain should post such things in a public space. For crying out loud, if you must post your sex life online, make your profile private, brainiacs.

Which brings to mind...

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life #5

Teachers who engage in conjugal relations with minors display a particularly obvious lack of critical thinking skills. This is just one of dozens of recent news items about teachers (always female, of course, because were they male they'd be thrown in prison forever) makin' babies with students.

Incidentally, I googled "teacher student" to track down that article. Five of the first ten results that turned up were related to teacher-student sexual relations, and one other was a YouTube link to a teacher-student brawl. Only four out of ten search results were actually about education. Yikes.

Let's get out there and do some critical thinking today, people.

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life #3

2008-06-22T13:46:00.005-05:00

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life example #3

Proud parents bear tattoos honoring their kids

Salty Peanut?!?!

Wow.

Glad to know I'm not the only one

2008-06-16T09:48:00.005-05:00

I wish Jemele Hill would return to the Detroit Free Press. She may have gone to the big time at ESPN, but at least she has kept her head and her priorities straight. It is only good, right, and salutary for anyone from Michigan to hate the Celtics.

My biggest complaint about the NBA Finals is that I really wish it were possible for both teams to lose. I know they lost and really only have themselves to blame, but I'd still like to see the Pistons and Spurs play a series for the rest of us to watch.

Will one of you video gamers make this happen virtually and let me know who wins? Thanks.

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life #2

2008-06-03T09:24:00.011-05:00

(Cartoon from Natalie Dee)

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life example #2

"Heavy marijuana use shrinks brain parts."

If you doubt the veracity of this study, see exhibit "All of my stoner students." Personally, I'm surprised anybody felt the need to conduct a study to prove that marijuana shrinks brains. All you have to do is walk into any American high school and you will find at least 3-5 living, wheezing examples. Proof is not hard to find.

Just please don't let the Replacements and Husker Du re-record everything too. Please.

2008-05-20T18:16:00.011-05:00

The Internet is clearly history's most egregious time-burglar, but occasionally its time theft is excusable. Like, say, the hour I spent reading non-reprinted Bloom County strips!

I always assumed there were hundreds more Bloom County strips out there because the books often featured sizable gaps. It turns out I was right, and someone has had the fantastic sense to post them for all to see. I'm sure there are still many, many more, but this is a nice start. Publish the collected Bloom County already!

But alas, every coin has a flipside, and it turns out that Berkeley Breathed is pulling a George Lucas on us. His most recent collection of reprints has changed numerous strips, always for the worse.

Take this one, for example. The whole reason it was funny in the first place was a combination of parodying Mountain Dew ads with the notion that the weight of a pop can is enough to break the camel's back, so to speak. Tossed Mountain Dew can? Funny. Random, uncontrolled bowling ball? Not funny.

Why, why, why do he and other artists feel the need to edit old material? This practice rarely, if ever, improves on the original, occasionally doesn't make a difference, and almost always worsens the piece of work, be it a comic, movie, song, or anything else. Please, Berkeley Breathed, George Lucas, and everyone else who thinks this is a good idea, just stop already. Let us judge what's good and what's bad. Sometimes it's best to just leave well enough alone and let the audience take it from there.

5-Second (Audio)Book Review X 2

2008-05-13T13:26:00.005-05:00

The Ghost Map is by Steven Johnson, who also wrote Everything Bad is Good for You. I loved that one. The Ghost Map, on the other hand, was a bit tedious. The explanation of the history of cholera and how it changed the modern city fascinated me, but the extensive detail about every single doctor involved in the research was too much. Had the book been 2/3 as long, it would have been very good instead of pretty good. I just discovered the companion website, though, which looks promising.

I resorted to audiobook to finish The Tipping Point. I had read the first half a couple of times, but for whatever reason, never had a chance to finish it. Though the second half didn't add too much other than detailed support (students--this is a good example of supporting your claim with evidence!), I dug it. I still like Blink better, but this one was good too.

Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life #1

2008-05-13T10:42:00.006-05:00

Oh yeah, that's right, I have a blog. Apparently, I forgot.

So, hi. How've you been? I've been busy. Sorry. I'll try to throw an occasional post up here again starting right now with my new series, "Why critical thinking skills are useful in everyday life."

Example #1

Our tickets for the Tigers v. Yankees on Saturday were what are politely referred to as "nosebleeds". We were so far up that there was only one more row behind us. That row, surprisingly enough, was full of drunk guys.

Somewhere around the seventh inning, these drunks decided to try and start the wave. From the back row. Of the upper deck. There was nobody behind them. Needless to say, the wave failed.

As for the game itself, well, at least rookie Matt Joyce (pictured, courtesy of the Detroit Free Press) hit a dinger. I've been to five games so far this year, all losses, and the collective score is now 36-9. Ugh.

Oh thank you, football gods!

2008-03-19T19:38:00.004-05:00

I know that as a Michigan Man I'm supposed to be upset about this, but I couldn't be happier. To me, U-M isn't about flash and hype. It's about guys who work hard as a team to represent, uphold, and hopefully enhance a great university with tradition so deep and meaningful that every school founded since 1817 has been using it as their model.

In the linked column, Drew sums it up for me:

"The Pryor courtship only further confirmed how completely out-of-whack the football recruiting process has become in this interactive era of blogging and message boarding. It’s insane that an 18-year-old athlete can hold normally rationally thinking individuals emotionally hostage for weeks at a time.

'I don’t like being in the spotlight,' Pryor told reporters at a press conference in his Jeannette (Pa.) high school auditorium. 'I didn’t ask to be (ranked) No. 1 in the country.'

But he certainly milked it for all it was worth."

That kind of disingenuous posturing will fit much better at OSU. I don't care that Sharp calls this a loss to Jim Tressel. Fine. Some things are more important. (Don't get me wrong--I know that Rich Rodriguez isn't thinking this at all, but I don't care. I'm staying in my happy place about this one.)

Besides, based on his family's general appearance (pull the hat down, Junior), I'm guessing that he'll be a better academic fit at OSU.

Take us home, Fielding Yost, with a loyalty statement that, sadly, I doubt Pryor and many other young athletes these days truly understand:

"But do let me reiterate the spirit of Michigan. It is based upon a deathless loyalty to Michigan and all her ways; an enthusiasm that makes it second nature for Michigan men to spread the gospel of their university to the world's distant outposts; a conviction that nowhere is there a better university, in any way, than this Michigan of ours."
--Fielding H. Yost, former U-M athletic director

Amen. Now go beat the Buckeyes.