Seattle Bloke

Guest Room

2006-06-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

I've removed enough dirt from under my house to now boast a second bedroom. Dracula and Bush are both welcome; there are little critters for blood and plenty to screw up.

That's Living

2006-06-08T21:31:00.000-07:00

There’s a community of people living in their cars on the gravel road framing my workplace. Toss in a few drug users, the occasional theft, tagging, poop behind the tip, trains colliding as planned, jets flying low on final approach and you’re at the front door of my local industrial heaven. East London and the Thames at low tide still win my heart however.

Where was I?

Oh Yes, one of the locals is clever.

Think, Then Speak

2006-04-07T21:45:00.000-07:00

While shopping at a thrift store for kitchen kit, Stacy called and asked what I was up to. "I'm buying a little pot and then going to your mom's house."

This joins other slips...

To Stacy, "You smell like petroleum."

While on the phone, surrounded by co-workers, I promised a customer I would protect her popular product from other salespeople - wanting to sell it. "Don't worry, I'm beating them off now."

Goodwill

2006-04-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

In Goodwill loo...

This bugger startled me in the parking lot, so I felt compelled to work it into an insane bat frenzy. Sorry dog lovers, but 4 thoughts come to mind when I see, hear or think about little yappy dogs.

#1 Trap shooting
#2 A Fish Called Wanda
#3 Kickoff in American football
#4 My neighbor's chiwawa (Moses Lake) that took on a rottweiler, while defending its yard and lost a tooth for the effort.

Start the hate mail...

I'm A Father!

2006-03-27T23:21:00.000-08:00

While watching TV, my fish tank, I discovered small fry!

Spotted 1, then 2, 3, 4, wow. They're about 3mm long, have all the fin fittings, are twitchy and have eyes with growing room, like sneakers on a 12 year old.

A few brave ones swim to the surface for dinner, after the big fish are full. There are at least 8 in the tank and if they all live, I'll have a dilemma. Give them away or prepare the Greek dish Psarolia. The recipe calls for 15, so there you go, free fish.

Recalling childhood years, I caught myself mumbling, "Come on small fry, is that all you got?"

Shot In The Arse

2006-03-10T06:37:00.000-08:00

My truck has two gas tanks, because I'm an American I suppose. Regardless, my engine was not getting any and sat for a month while I tried to fix it. After admitting I was getting nowhere, Gene suggested his favorite mechanic, Mike.

As you know, good mechanics are like secret fishing holes. Don't fish? Me neither, so substitute good breakfast joint. Anyway, they're hard to find and once the secret is out, it's over.

Mike was puzzled like me, but he cracked it. The ex-military man discovered a bullet hole in the rear tank, through which water had collected. Bullet hole? This was my mom's truck!

We're having breakfast together soon, at a poor fishing hole and I will press for answers...

Friends, Farm and Casket Maker

2006-02-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

On the one year anniversary of departing the UK for the states, I traded some money for a ticket to return to the land I call home. Leo meets me at Heathrow with a latte, does he know me or what and we work our way back to the "Stow", Walthamstow that is.

Nothing has changed in London, except Leo and Claire's address, which is now a lovely flat they have spruced up with refinished flooring, warm colors, sprinkle of art, no tat and a palatial guest room for me. OK, you can probably stay there as well, but remember it's MINE. With twenty mattresses over a pea and me not princely, I didn't care to leave for days, so I didn't. With weeks of work behind me, without days off, I was dead tired. The new digs were thoughtfully placed across the street from a dealer with HobNobs, ginger snaps, cheese and milk, but who really cares about the last staple. Oh yes, tea, they're all lifelines.

With energy back, Leo and I spent the next three days at the Walthamstow Dog Track betting on the ugliest dog and lost our retirement money. Sorry that was both a dream and a partial dream. We'll go someday, but why have all of life's pleasures in one trip, besides unbeknownst to me; there was a casket maker in my future, more on that later.

In fact, much more later, I am running out of time to rush words, to adequately describe the vast amount of memories and warm thoughts.

How Leo spends all his free time.

Hidden in this shot is Claire's childhood home, a 400 year old farm house, surrounded by farming kit and holding her kind parents Peter and Josie. More later!

Photographer: Jack

Photographer: Jack

Jack

Photographer: Jack

Jack and Jake.

Peter taught me everything about farming in two days. Recycle everything, schedule, build muscles, fresh air and shit, shit, shit. The last two are true, but not concurrently.

Christine and her dad Ralph, 92, two lovlies in Yeovil. Go ahead, try and say it.

Well I must go to work, so much to write...

Burning Down The House

2006-01-24T21:58:00.000-08:00

11:00 PM: Oven on... nachos
11:15 PM: Doze off
2:30 AM: Art

“Piece A Pie”

2006-01-21T05:54:00.000-08:00

5:03 AM

Wake with my laptop, still there and KEXP (www.kexp.org) streaming loudly Negativland’s “Piece A Pie.” It’s an 8 minute song (?) with a 3 to 4 second sound loop that resembles dialog from a Jimmy Stewart movie. Within each loop an annoying waiter offers a piece of pie to a couple. I believe I’m in a hotel room with noisy neighbors and get progressively annoyed by these people who can’t complete their conversation. Then I wake up, sort of.

Coffee, then my mix...

Goldspot, Friday
Goldfrapp, Number 1
The Cure, Pictures Of You
Shout Out Louds, Very Loud
My Morning Jacket, Anytime
Handsome Boy Modeling School, Breakdown
Placebo, Special Needs
Rilo Kiley, Portions For Foxes
Slender Means, Telepathic Lovesick Heart
Slightly Stoopid, Killin' Me Deep Inside

Seattle - A Good Place To Be From

2006-01-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

Seattle has had rain every day for what seems like 2 years, but it’s only been 30 days, December 19th to January 17th. This means a constant overcast sky, heavy rain at times, some wind and 1 million people contemplating why they live here. Much like a traffic jam; it’s not going to change quickly, it’s out of our control and the chosen path is questionable.

Seattle is beautiful when it’s sunny, in fact, exceptional August through September. But often it both sucks and blows.

My morning showers have gone from cold to freezing and I have a hunch what is wrong, but I don't want to deal with it. During my 10 second shower, I shout “shit”, “god damn it” and “f**king house” repeatedly in a “may I help you” tone of voice. This of course can’t go on, so I open the crawl-space door and find my gas furnace and water heater in a foot of water. Natural gas, electricity and water in a 5 foot square pit does not appeal to me, but either does a cold shower, so I pump out the water, clean the appliances, light the pilot light and wait 30 minutes to savor a hot shower.

It’s still raining.

Eating Words

2006-01-08T09:10:00.000-08:00

“I will NEVER go to a concert at a casino.”

This is a reasonable statement, except the “never” bit, considering they normally host the likes of Foreigner and The Commodores. These groups are talented, but not down my alley, neighborhood for that matter. So why does Joan Jett, the trail blazer of women in rock decide to play the Emerald Queen Casino, an ashtray with a nice stage? No matter, she has a great voice, strong stage presence and still belts it out.

A better question is why did I get the date wrong? Stacy and I drove 60 miles round trip on Friday and discovered we were first in line for the Saturday show.

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

While at Stacy's mom's house tonight, two 60 to 80 foot trees, joined at the root ball, fell on the house. One hit the chimney, while the other landed flat on the roof. The fireplace kept both trees from going through the roof.

The city was warned a week earlier about digging too close to the tree’s root ball while widening the road. The inspectors said it was OK.

No Bodies So Far

2005-12-20T06:13:00.000-08:00

I'm removing 4 layers of tile and 3/4" particle board to expose fir planks below. The fir is too old and weak to use as a sub-floor, so it's coming up as well.

It's fun to see the change in styles over the years. On the other hand, it is not fun unleashing the dog pee absorbed by the particle board.

Where did it come from?

The white boxes contain the red oak flooring and the small ones on top have cork for the kitchen.

There is an opening in the living room and hallway, which allows access to the crawl space. This is a great time to mention my favorite new tool, the Sawzall.

Resembling a saw machine gun, it's the dope. After just an hour using it on my floor, I'm ready to cut up a few cars, the neighbors Christmas turkey and Bush's desk. Even if you don't need this tool, you WILL after it's in your hands.

I'm removing all the insulation, heating ducts, wiring and a foot and half of dirt from below the entire house. It's a bit like the Great Escape, I move dirt to the access points using a small shovel and then load into a wheel barrow with a larger shovel. Once the dirt is removed I can crawl to a new area and continue work. The insulation comes down with mouse poop and dirt. After a few attempts, I've adopted the light the fuss and turn quickly method to avoid a face full of muck. I would like to hear what the neighbors are saying, because nobody comes to my house, except Stacy (brave gal) and my music is full volume to scare away room mates with tails. Perhaps it goes like this, "Bob, he's removing an awful lot of dirt over there."

Music, specifically industrial, is perfect for this work. Just heard a song "Fall in Love, Suffer and Die", nice. It's actual a mellow song, but you get the idea. The Crystal Method and Chemical Brothers are great for cleaning up afterwards and The Beastie Boys are perfect for all occations, like Christmas, weddings and driving.

Grandpa & Ireland, August 1999

2005-11-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

34 Maymount Street, Belfast, a destination realized. Just a short distance from Ormeau Park and Castlereagh Street, this was my Grandpa's childhood home until he bordered a ship to Toronto, Canada at age 15, alone. My Grandpa, Wilfrid Mawhinney, was two men in one to me and more to others I am sure. He taught me manners, how to use tools, help others, swim, choose to read, seek kindness and countless other things.

Most everyone spoke at his funeral, except me. I felt horrible at the time, but I couldn't express my appreciation for him in a tidy sound bite. He left life knowing everything however, I had told him on many occasions.

Here are some beautiful glimpses of Ireland, starting with Stacy!

Mr. Bush & Cronies

2005-11-18T09:20:00.001-08:00

Please move to Iraq.
Thank you.
------------------------------------
"Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed."

President Bush, standing under a "Mission Accomplished" banner on the USS Lincoln aircraft carrier, May 2, 2003
------------------------------------
Bush Administration Lies
Iraq Coalition Count
Iraq Body Count
------------------------------------

Wake up! Wake up, Limy fish!

2005-11-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

I got lonely and decided to get some fish, contained, not fried.

Starting with a free 55 gallon tank, I built a sturdy stand and picked up the odd bits to make it bubble at my local fish shop, Little Amazon. The owners held my hand and wallet, thus catapulting me into the world of fish, again. I paid $20 for a rock and PH is back in my vocabulary.

A couple days later, I invited Stacy to "come over and see my fish", thus unearthing the most lame pick-up line uttered throughout history. Later, a beer and movie were thrown into the deal. We'll see.

Each night, my wonder is split between the beauty of my fish and the 2-inch difference in water height from one end of the tank to the other. My house may be sinking, but damn donÂt those fish look cool!

My last aquatic foray ended in tragedy, murder to be exact, however not premeditated. I left for classes on a cold winter day, leaving the heat on high, only to return to an empty fish bowl and my fish on the floor, very still. I buried them at sea, toilet and swallowed a lump of guilt. I tortured myself by visualizing the moment they couldn't take it anymore and jumped.

This time I'm prepared and my house doesn't have any heat, so all is well.

We've Been Everywhere Man

2005-10-30T08:48:00.000-08:00

Road trip!

Leo and I started talking about a U.S.A. road trip about a year and a half ago. As his holiday approached, we were still vacillating between the Deep South and the Mid West, Yellowstone specifically. We picked the west and soon after Katrina hit, so our choice was lucky.

Bozeman, Montana won the cheapest airfare award, so that was the beginning. I left Seattle in a truck and Leo left London in a plane, at the same time, and we meet at the airport. I felt this was a delightful math equation, but it didn't gain the enthusiasm I hoped for, I digress.

Without a plan, we hit the road and changed direction on a whim, which was often influenced by local advice, missing exits, misreading our crappy map, hunches, missing a highway that had changed names and seeking a Starbucks.

From September 21st to October 1st we traveled 3,355 miles (me 4,711) across Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado. We slept in the truck, drank some highly toxic coffee, kept up with the truckers, didn't hit any deer (my only worry), discovered good roads, one awful road and meet nice folks at every stop.

Our daily diet: one American breakfast, coffee, gum, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream once and maybe one salad the entire trip (sorry Claire). Vegetables on pizza counts, doesn’t it?

Leo showed steadfast patience with our third companion, my camera. Between blowing dust off the lens, setting up the tripod, changing the lens, taking the shots and then everything in reverse, it’s surprising we made it out of Montana. Around every corner it seemed there was a photo moment.

At some point my camera swallowed a large piece of dirt, which ruined many pictures. Worse, I couldn’t get it out with a tiny air pump. I was a dust alcoholic, sneaking in attempts to dislodge it, while Leo was on the phone with Claire, in the loo or asleep.

Here are some of my favorite shots.

Robbery!

2005-10-20T05:05:00.000-07:00

My charge card number was lifted and used in Russia, Australia, Seattle and one other place I haven't figured out yet. All the charges were for joining singles sites and chat lines, which is the last thing I would purchase right now. I wonder what the wanker is writing this very moment, let's listen in.

...........................

Strong, confident, sexy, romantic, smart, rich man seeks LTR - m4w

30 year old guy seeks loving, fun, adventuresome woman for a long-term relationship. I don't smoke, neither should you. If you enjoy shopping, whinge or have a couple inches of makeup on, your just right, but not for me. Oh, one last thing, you must be a f**king thief.

Your card gets my card.

Chow!

...........................

Copenhagen Denmark (August 5-12, 2004)

2005-09-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

A little late putting these pictures up, one might say. But tonight, Belinda Carlisle's song "Heaven Is A Place On Earth" is stuck in my mind and Denmark is that place.

Beautiful land, friendly people, parks, sandy beaches, low crime, trains, cars out numbered by bikes, boats galore, waterfront, canals, beautiful tall people, colorful buildings, trolleys, wide range of architecture and lastly, an airport with a stunning wood floor throughout, where employees move about on scooters.

This graffiti was near a rickety shack, cloaking a skate park, with a sign outside reading, "Don't piss here." So I didn't.

Seattle Center (Bumbershoot Festival)

2005-09-13T00:41:00.000-07:00

The drum head reads "I Love Drums."

Try this at home:

Seattle at Night

2005-09-13T00:38:00.000-07:00

118 118

2005-09-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

This picture is for the shirt, the soon to be damaged body is secondary.

Directory service was deregulated in the UK and all competitors were assigned the number 118 and given the freedom to select the next three digits. The clear campaign winner was 118 118. They featured billboards with geeky twins, running in 70's garb and frozen in goofy poses. They were men of steel, determination and passion, but wore short shorts.

www.mysteryrunners.co.uk

After a while, Leo and I would get "118 118" shout-outs from kids along our route and often come face to face with the twins of goliath stature. Each time we accepted that perhaps, just maybe, we were geeky as well. But these comments were welcome in contrast to "Nice legs, to bad about the face."

I located a couple 118 118 vests and gave one to Leo for his birthday, while keeping the other at the flat. Most of my wardrobe and I departed company on my return to the states, but the vest came along.

I don't know the exact figure, but I would guess Leo and I ran about 3,000 miles together. However, ask Leo and it's 3001 due to the "Brian always under estimates" factor.

The vest makes me instantly happy. It is one of many reminders of time spend with an exceptional person and memories that will last my lifetime.

The British Isles

2005-09-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

My local grocery store has a section dedicated to British cuisine. I haven't been down the isle yet, but I'm crossing my fingers for McVities Hobnobs, milk chocolate please.

If available, I'll pass on the "faggots in gravy" and "spotted dick", since the first is meat and the latter is too sweet. The search continues for an Indian take out.

Catch-22 Brew

2005-08-30T22:21:00.000-07:00

Need it to make it. Spot the problem, win a cupie doll.

Just Married

2005-08-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

Debbie and Stephen
August 20th, 2005

Photographer: Marco Prozzo
www.marcoprozzo.com