Blithering Fool

Fun with the Digital

2010-01-03T08:06:00.003-08:00

No pics of me with my geek-girl specs on, so here are two, and the bottom one is my new hairstyle that I got yesterday, and me doing my best 1920s Vamp look. Not sure if I pulled it off or not but it was fun.

She cut it pretty high at the back, which I didn't expect. But it's fun and funky, and she called me adorable several times before I left, so that's good enough for me.

New Years Resolution and Excerpt

2010-01-01T10:46:00.000-08:00

Had a great New Year's Eve. My love grilled steaks, which were tender and mouth watering. We then sat on the couch and hung out. Later in the evening he made me a peanut butter hot fudge sundae with triple chocolate icecream, which he'd gotten earlier in the day. It was outstanding. It was a perfectly lovely night. This is the PG 13 version of the events, censored for public consumption ;)

Needless to say, it was a freakin' awesome evening.

My New Year's Resolution: Finish A Sudden Frost and The Collectors (the book I began before A Sudden Frost.)

I've had a moment of clarity. Can't elaborate, but I feel like I've been holding my breath, driving a run away train heading for a sharp, jagged cliff. I'm putting on the brakes. Getting back on course. I've been distracted, focusing on things that are going to derail me.

So I'm focusing on the writing and exercise again (haven't been able to because I've been sick with one virus or another for the better part of two months. I'm thinking it might be part of having a toddler who spends his day with a three year old who goes to nursery school twice a week).

Felt like sharing an excerpt of A Sudden Frost. It's still the first draft. Going through the first reading pass now. This bit reveals a little of what Leah struggles with. She's a good person who is afraid of intimacy, though she wants it. She doesn't know what to do with love when she has it. This is only one trait that makes up her sometimes self-destructive, adrenaline junkie personality, but it's the one that bites her on the ass again and again.

But this trait is a two-sided coin, because if she weren't a person drawn to high risk situations, she wouldn't be the strong herione she is, and wouldn't have rescued as many people as she has in the two previous books.

A Sudden Frost Excerpt:

We got the key to the house Alexia shared with her husband, who had been gone for a week. Everything seemed in order. Nothing seemed disturbed. Mrs. Costas had been there earlier in the day and couldn’t think of anything that seemed wrong about the house. Her car was not in the drive-way. Nor was it at the mall. Mrs. Costas and Nicholas had searched the parking lot several times. We checked her email going back several months. Nothing strange. No red flags.

What the hell had happened to her? She was like smoke. There one second, gone the next.

Jack and I had gone to a small hole in the wall place that had the best wings going.

“You’re stalling again.” He looked at me as he bit into a wing.

“I know.” I took a long swig of my beer.

“What’s going on with you? You and Calahan okay?”

“We’re wonderful.” But I didn’t want to go home.

“That’s the problem, huh?” Jack knew me better than I knew myself. Always had. With us, it was like breathing, reading the other without even trying. We had an uncanny connection which had served us well over the years, both in work and in life, which had proved to be dangerous for us both from an early age.

I put my beer down and sighed, placing my elbows on the table and my face in my hands. “Why, Jack? Why do I do this?”

“What, sabotage things with Callahan when they’re going perfectly?”

“Yeah, that.”

He chuckled. “Leah, I’m your friend. Not your shrink. But my best guess is that it’s your absolute terror of intimacy, which makes you the wonderful person you are.”

“He wants to get married, Jack. Married.”

“I know. He told me. Many times.”

“Isn’t it enough that we live together? It took me three years to agree to that.”

He gave an easy shrug. “Apparently not. Some people want to move forward. Want that ultimate commitment.”

“But it’s a sham, Jack. You know as well as I do that most marriages today end up in divorce. I think that piece of paper is the beginning of the end for most people.” I stopped, thinking about it. “Actually, no. Lots of people get married when it was over long before the actual ceremony. Sometimes before the engagement.”

“Or as soon as the engagement takes place? As in your case?”

“No. It’s not over between us. I just feel so. . . trapped. Suffocated. I feel like I can’t breathe.” Just talking about it was making me feel like I couldn’t catch my breath. I took a deep breath and let it out.

Jack lifted hand. “I know. You don’t have to explain it to me, Kicks.”

Jack had called me Kicks for years, ever since he had started teaching me kick-boxing and I’d taken a real liking to it. Had a flair, even.

He looked at me, his green gaze level. “Don’t you think you should tell Callahan all this?”

“Yes and no. This is the conversation of doom. He gets hurt. I feel like crap. Nothing gets resolved.” I sat back, feeling tired but not wanting to move. I’d sit in that booth all night if they’d let me.

Reading my mind again, he said, “You need to go home, Leah. Staying away from him as much as possible isn’t going to help your situation. And here’s a thought, it may even make it worse.”

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”

“Hey, at least I have some form of wit.”

“Ha. Ha. Okay, we’re getting stupid.” I sat forward, pulling my jacket on and sighing heavily. “This case isn’t going to fill him with joy, either. That’s your fault, my friend.”

“Kicks.”

His tone was serious and made me stop and pay attention. “Yeah.”

“I see the way you look at Lucas. You’re playing a dangerous game there. You know?”

I looked at the table. “I know.”

“If you want to end things with Callahan, do it. But don’t play him for an idiot. Don’t leave him twisting in the wind.”

I nodded, eyes still downward. He was right.

The problem was that I didn’t really want to end it with Callahan. I just couldn’t help feeling attracted to Lucas.

I slapped the table, punctuating the end of discussion. “I know. You’re right. I’ll straighten up and fly right, partner.”

Another promise I wanted to keep. But I knew myself and I felt like a liar.

Blast from the Past

2009-12-31T12:59:00.000-08:00

I'm anxiously awaiting the second disk of Rescue Me's Season 1. I love Dennis Leary. Love. Him. I think he's incredibly smart and I love his rough edges. I grew up with a lot of guys like that.

So I dug up this video. Still cracks me up.

Liquid Silver Blog

2009-12-30T09:22:00.000-08:00

I'm blogging at the Liquid Silver Blog today! Come join me!

Whew!

2009-12-26T09:35:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over. I'm exhausted. Fun but tiring. Lots of good food. Even my little guy is tired. He's a social butterfly and even he's had enough. One more party tonight, but it'll be small and casual so that'll be cool.

My fella and I are going without the little guy too, so it'll be like a date! Woohoo!

I hope everyone had a nice holiday. I'm doing laundry and puttering around today, taking it easy.

May even open the document of A Sudden Frost. Hmmm.

Have a great day all!

Temptation

2009-12-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

Baking. With a gas stove I'm not all that familiar with. ARRGGGGHHH!!!!

This is the second batch of chocolate chip cookies from scratch. The first were too flat and the edges bled. So I've adjusted the heat of the oven and added more flour. So far, they are behaving. We'll see.

I used to make killer cookies. But I've always used an electric stove. My muffins turn out fine with this one, but cookies are less forgiving, it seems.

Our Christmas luncheon at work is tomorrow, and dammit, I'm bringing homemade chocolate chip cookies if I have to stay up all damned night.

Just checked on this batch. Yeaaaahhh. We have success! Victory is mine! Muhahahahaha!!

Golden brown on the tops and fluffy. Yes.

Can't have 'em though. *Sigh* You know when you look at something you really, really want but aren't supposed to have? Yeah. Gettin' that feeling. How much harm could it really do? Just this once?

Come here, you sexy, hot thing. We're all alone. Nobody has to know. Oh, baby, you are sooooo hot and you smell sooooo good. Just let me run my fingers over you. Mmmm.

Just give me a little taste. Let me brush my lips over you, feel your taste melt on my tongue. You know I want you, baby. Molten desire rushes over me just looking at you. My heart is pounding. My legs are weak. I'm trembling with my need for you. Just a little nibble.

I've wanted you for so long. Dreamed of you. Of this moment between us. And now here you are, in front me me. Ready for the taking. I must have you. Now! Ooooh. Ooooh God, yes. Yes!

Can't do 'er.

*Double sigh* Okay, I'm off to tease myself some more with the cookies.

Odds and Ends

2009-12-22T11:27:00.000-08:00

I'm almost done my holiday shopping. I'm doing quite well this year, considering that every single year I'm still shopping for last minute things on Christmas Eve. I do most of my shopping online, but some things, like stocking stuffers, are easier to buy in the store. I usually just grab things as I go. I even managed to beat the crowds each time. Shopping during off hours.

Been thinking about A Sudden Frost and chomping at the bit to get back to the story. I have a blog due for Liquid Silver Books on Dec 30th, which I did a rough draft of. Just need to polish it a bit. Once the holidays are over I'll get back to the routine. Finally almost over the third cold virus in a month and a half. Trying to stay away from sick people but they are everywhere!

Decorated the tree on Sunday. My little guy was handing me ornaments. SO CUTE. Made tree decorating fun.

I do love snowglobes. Thought this one was cute.

Busy Busy

2009-12-18T18:29:00.000-08:00

Getting to bed early tonight. I wanted to wrap gifts but can't find the wrapping paper. So I'm going to buy more tomorrow morning. I'm getting up at an ungodly hour to go shopping in the a.m, in hopes of missing some of the mad crowds.

I'm going to bake cookies! Okay, so they're the kind that are already pre-made and you just have to break them off and slap them on the cookie sheet. But I'm still baking cookies! I actually used to bake cookies from scratch all the time, and I may do that sometime before Christmas, but . . . egh, probably not. Ha!

I do bake muffins from scratch, though. So there.

Anyway, lots to do. It's making me twitch. Shop. Clean. Cook/bake. Wrap. All in this cold blast. It's insanity!

Somebody sent me this today, and it cracked me up, so I leave you with it.

Bie Mye Bukez. I Rite Reel Gude

2009-12-17T09:02:00.001-08:00

I just had the biggest laugh, reading through last night's long, barely coherent post. I spelled "reckless" as "wreckless." Yes. To be a wreck is different from being reckless, I'm afraid.

This is what happens when I indulge myself to blither stream of concsiousness on the cyber page. I'm fixing it right now.

No, I'm fixing it write now. Rite now.

Yeah. Ryte now.

Aimless Meanderings

2009-12-16T16:47:00.001-08:00

Well, I was just getting over the last one when my little guy was hit with his. Staying up all night with him weakened the immune system. Bang! Hit with another. It's kind of unavoidable though. There are a billion different cold and various other viruses waltzing through the air. Everyone is stressed with the trying to get prepared for the holidays too. So we're all getting hit.

Anyway. I was thinking today about why people do what they do. Why we all do what we do. You ever do or say something on impulse, then sit there, open mouthed, wondering why you just did or said what it was you did or said? I know that the writing makes me more susceptible to impulsivity. So do they holidays, when I'm feeling kind of ungrounded anyway.

But I'm a firm believer that we are where we've been. We are everything that ever worked to shape us from the day we were born. Good and bad. You can be armed with all kinds of knowledge about human behavior, but what shaped us is so ingrained in us, we can still react in ways that make us uncomfortable when looking back at them.

I know that the way I grew up makes me crave both stillness and chaos. It's a double edged sword. I grew up with chaos all around me, and learned to be still in the midst of it. I search out calm people. People who are grounded. But sometimes I'm still attracted to chaotic situations that aren't the best for me.

Even the four years of fairly intense Psych training for the Social Work degree doesn't save me from this. It's a psychological blue print in my brain that is very hard to modify. I also still want to rescue every lost cause I come across. I can still change from still and calm to white hot fury when I see somebody being bullied. If I'm bullied, I dig my heels in. It's not the way to get me to do anything. And I feel protective of anyone who is bullied.

Water seeks its own level. When I'm feeling a little sad or lost, my weakness will find and turn to its mirror image. Like a compass. I can sense it. The sense of loss or sadness, or emptiness in somebody else will call to me. It's like a magnet. Then I want to rescue and soothe.

I've never been all that much for alcohol or recreational drugs. They don't do a thing for me. I search for escape and distraction through other means. Writing and exercise being a couple of those ways. Soothing a wounded spirit is another. Being reckless is another. This is part of the craving for chaos. I reach for this method of soothing myself much less these days. Every once in a while it'll seem really attractive to me. Impulsivity. Which is odd for a person like me, who usually thinks out everything.

I'm full of contradictions.

Something reminded me yesterday of the one male role model who was really good in my life growing up. My older brother. He's also full of contradictions. He's a hard ass military man who is also has an incredible artistic talent. He can draw a portrait, having no formal training, the likeness being close to a photograph. He can design and sew costumes for halloween or theater endevours. He's was also amazing at set design and is an incredible carpenter. He can cook like a mo-fo. And he's had decades of various types of marshal arts training.

He'll go off by himself for days, get lost in the woods and find his way out again when he's good and ready. Yet hes' the guy that everyone loves when they meet him. He's friendly and funny, and sensitive, yet I've seen him back down a group of very scary guys in our rough part of town, with the look on his face, the tone of his voice, and the 'don't fuck with me' stance. He stepped in and rescued a guy from a very bad situation. Told him to run and kept the other guys standing there with just his stance.

He's only five-foot six. Short and stocky. But he's not one to mess with. Yet he's a peacemaker. A man ready to go to war, who is the first to stop a fight.

He also caused me more bruises and a nose bleed or two making sure I was tough enough to kick ass if I had to. "Get up little sis. Come on! Show me whatcha got!" I still smile thinking of this.

We don't talk much. Maybe once a year or two. An email here and there. We really don't need to. Our history is such that we are painful reminders to each other of where we've been, which wasn't always a nice place to be. So we are comforted by our blood ties while simultanously withdrawing from each other. He's still the coolest guy I know (Aside from my fella. Who is ultra cool. But that's another post).

Why do I think of my brother now? Christmas. Of course. Do I make that awkward call? Or do I skip it because it's uncomfortable for both of us. Do I wait to call until it's late enough in the evening that he's had enough holiday cheer to be able to have a conversation with me? It's how he gets through Christmas. Lots and lots of holiday cheer. Then he's okay the rest of the year.

I skipped it last year. I just didn't have the energy or the heart.

Yeah. I'm rambling. And I don't care. This is my holiday cheer, folks. This is my escape and my distraction, and my way to soothe myself.

This is me being reckless.

Draggin'

2009-12-14T07:54:00.001-08:00

I'm dragging today. My little guy was sick all night with a fever. He's better now, though still warm, but still not all the way better.

Mondays are my insane day. So it'll be a long, looooong day for me. Running on a couple of hours sleep on a day when I need all my wits about me. It'll be a trick.

I got some reading done on A Sudden Frost. It takes longer for me, I think, to revise than to write the first draft of a book. It's funny, too. I always think that what I'm writing isn't good for much other than lining the cat box with when I'm first drafting. But when I go back and read it, I think, Hey! This doesn't suck! It's actually pretty good! I'm my own worst critic. I'll go through the self-doubt thing again and again before and after the book is completely done.

But I think that if you really care about what you're doing, the self-doubt demons come to visit you. It's just the nature of the beast.

More coffee needed.

Scrambling

2009-12-12T09:56:00.001-08:00

Baby is sick :(

He is feverish and has a runny nose. Poor little bean.

Doing laundry and washing floors. Ugh! Maybe I'll catch up on the other stuff tomorrow. Today is merciless.

To bed early tonight.

*Snort* I always say that.

Better to Stay Dirty

2009-12-11T07:31:00.001-08:00

This is a blog post by Justine Musk, which I love so much I decided to post in its entirety. I'm struggling with this now, telling a truth which leaves me feeling raw, and which is keeping me up at night. But I refuse to flinch in the writing of this story, because I believe in what it has to say.

You need to tell the truth. Justine says it beautifully. I can't say it any better than she:

by Justine Musk
1
Nina Sankovitch decided to read and review a book a day for an entire year — and blog about it.
In this interview, she observes: “The traits of great writing are genuineness, truth, fearlessness. Say it out loud: no fear.”

To tell the truth, your truth, as you understand it.

Or, if you’re a fiction writer: to tell the truth through lies.

‘Honesty’ is one of the traits that psychologist and creativity specialist Eric Maisel lists as being key parts of the successful artist’s personality (the others, in case you’re curious: intelligence, introspective stance, empathy, self-centeredness, self-direction, assertiveness, resiliency and nonconformity).

“Standing apart, holding your own counsel, attuned to both the beautiful and the moral, you are the one able and willing to point out the naked emperor, the stench coming from the closet, the starvation right around the corner, the colors of the far mountains as the eye really sees them.”
Art becomes witness. Your work is your testimony.

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. The mantra of the Good Girl.
People only want so much truth. We spend our lives developing mechanisms by which to bleach and sanitize it. We deny, distort, minimize, shift blame, ignore, feign ignorance.

As Sue Monk Kidd put it, “The truth may set you free, but first it will shatter the safe, sweet way you live.”

So often what appears to be the truth is only a mask or image: the kind we all learn to create, some of us better than others.

When you write fiction, you give yourself over to a dream-state. If you’re any good, you’ll let the truths that you didn’t even know you knew — about other people, about yourself — rise from your psyche, expressed through symbol and fantasy.

And then go and show them to others.

“I don’t know if you realize,” a friend told me once, “just how exposed you are in that novel.” He was talking about my book LORD OF BONES, a dark urban fantasy about magic and demons that on first glance wouldn’t seem autobiographical at all. And it’s not. Except my friend is right; I am exposed in that novel, my dying marriage and consequent attraction to the distraction of chaos.

But I realized, as I wrote it, that the story was coming from a deep place. I emerged from periods of dream-state feeling raw, vulnerable. Which is also when I knew, after two drafts and lots of struggle, that the book was getting good.

There is a thrill to taking yourself on the edge like that.

I have learned to be a thrillseeker.

But why does it feel dangerous, more so for women than men, so dangerous that one woman’s truth might “split open the world” (Muriel Reksayer)? Why are women rarely so fearless that someone like Arianna Huffington wrote a book to exhort them to become so?

Men as a rule don’t suffer from Good Girl Syndrome (as one of my blog readers called it). And a Good Girl wants to be — needs to be — is desperate to be — liked.
She lives and dies by the approval of others.

If you can’t say anything nice…

The truth tends not to be nice.

The constant need for approval chokes off the good girl’s inner, intuitive voice, her truth-telling voice. In order to be nice and get along and not risk conflict she has to deny it over and over again, until self-doubt becomes her natural, reflexive state.

Creative paralysis sets in. How can you tell the truth when you no longer know what it is?
When you can no longer separate your true, inner voice from the voices around you?
By relying on the esteem of others, good girls sacrifice an essential truth about themselves. It keeps them tamed and compliant and smiling, unwilling or unable to penetrate the superficial. It puts them at the mercy of someone else’s agenda; sweeps them along in directions not their own.
Bad girls, on the other hand, don’t give a damn.

They prize their inner voice. They listen hard. They know it is their most important guide through the wild, uncharted territory of an unconventional life. Then again, a bad girl’s life wasn’t particularly safe or sweet to begin with. She doesn’t have those illusions to lose.

“When a woman is cut away from her basic source, she is sanitized.”*

A bad girl knows that it’s better to stay dirty.

*Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

Gettin' Her Done

2009-12-10T07:21:00.001-08:00

It's creeping up on two weeks since I finished the first banged out draft of A Sudden Frost. You're supposed to let the thing breathe for a while while your mind clears of the story. It's true. I always get some perspective after a little time away from the book, and I see things that I didn't see before. This will especially be true this time, because I had hardly any time to think about what I was writing. I was on a strict deadline.

This weekend I'll open the document and start reading what I've written. I'll start jotting down, on my mind map, the areas that need fleshing out, scenes that need cutting, scenes that need to be added, characters that didn't do much and need to be cut loose, plot threads that were dropped and need to be picked up or cut entirely.

I've been cheating a little. Of course. I can't stay completely away. I've been thinking about certain plot threads and further research that needs to be done, so that I really know what the hell I'm talking about. So I need to do more research.

Research helps to drive the plot and characters forward, too. So I'm excited to really get into the meat of the story now.

However, I need to wash the floor, do laundry, take my little guy for a hair cut and absolutely go to see The Lovely Bones with my pal, Deb. She wants to see it as badly as I do.

Off to work for me.

Oh, one last thing. In my research thus for of one of the subjects of A Sudden Frost, I came upon this quote. Too accurate:

Find out just what people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue until they are resisted with either words or blows, or both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress. – Frederick Douglas

A Nice Review by Just Erotic Romance Reviews :)

2009-12-07T08:29:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure who the reviewer was, but I think it was L.T Blue, because she reviewed several of the Hearts Afire installments. So thank you, whoever you are, wonderful reviewer :)

Burning Souls by Tracy Sharp
Rating: 4 Stars
Heat Level: H

Reporter, Mia Nolan has had her issues with fire as a young child. As an adult she is beginning to have visions of fires in the local area, allowing her to save children. Mia has never forgotten the firefighter from her childhood, Josh Waters. Mia has blamed Josh for years for saving her instead of allowing her to perish with her sisters.

When Mia sees Josh again she can't understand the feelings of lust and anger within her. When a serial firebug threatens the town; Mia's need to be near Josh burns hotter.Burning Souls is the perfect ending to Hearts Afire: October anthology. I enjoyed Mia's character and could understand her anguish of surviving.

Josh was a bit more difficult to understand, but I thought he was a nice guy. At first I thought the age difference would hinder the couple, but once Mia and Josh come together they are a perfect match. As the story progresses we find that Josh and Mia both have issues in their lives that ignored until it was almost too late.

The growth in both Mia and Josh changes their relationship for the better. While the sex is there it wasn't hot and spicy but a coming together of two lost souls, very sensual. Granted I would prefer the spicy sex but in this story sensual works best. There are plenty of secondary characters that leave you guessing to the identity of the arsonist. I enjoyed Burning Souls and look forward to reading more from Ms. Sharp.

Retro!

2009-12-06T12:14:00.000-08:00

I'm staying in today, making a stew-like concoction in the crock pot. Got a cold, so I'm kind of nesting. Check this old video out.

Stoked

2009-12-04T13:19:00.000-08:00

I am so jazzed! I can't wait to see this movie. I've been waiting patiently, and now it's almost here! Woohoo! Just reading the book now. Alice Sebold is an amazing writer. Here is the trailer for The Lovely Bones.

Wowza

2009-12-01T08:25:00.000-08:00

166,700 people signed up for Wrimo this year. 32,000 made it to the end. That's a 19%+ win rate, which is higher than last year's 18.2% win rate.

Coolness!

It was snowing earlier. The first snowflakes of the year around these parts. It was very pretty to look at. I'm glad I have a window to gaze out of here at work when I take little breathers.

It feels like winter now. C-c-c-cold. But we're due.

Aaaahhhhh

2009-11-30T16:52:00.000-08:00

Kicking back tonight and relaxing. Niiiiice. I added a few more songs to the playlist and changed the title of it. I noticed tonight that most of the songs are pretty sexy, so I called it the Sexy Playlist.

Okay, off to continue my relaxing. I won't think about the book. Nope. Not at all. I refuse.

Still not thinking about the book. Or the 30,000 to 40,000 words I need to add to it, or the scenes running through my mind. Uh uh. *shaking head*

Not one bit. Nope. *Straight face*

Like a Marathon

2009-11-30T12:24:00.000-08:00

I've had a few people who are not writers ask me if the nano widget meant that I was *the* winner of nano. No, I'm *a* winner. It's like running a marathon. Anyone who reaches the finish line during the race is a winner. So there are many winners. We don't know how many yet.

I'm a little tired, though. *Does a slow circle and falls face down on the floor*

Woohoo!

2009-11-29T18:17:00.001-08:00

I did it! I did it! *Pointing to the Nano Widget* See? Teehee!

Almost There

2009-11-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

Two more days. Almost at the end of the Nano challenge. Kind of burned out so I'll keep it short. New playlist is up. It's shorter so I'll likely add to it. I have one Christmas song on there that I actually like.

Okay, over and out.

Sparks and Dark Oracle Available for Pre-Order!

2009-11-25T06:28:00.000-08:00

Laura Bickle's Sparks is availabe for pre-order at Amazon. It's the second in her Anya Kalinczyk series:

The adventures of Anya Kalinczyk - spiritual medium, fire investigator, and ghost hunter - continue as Anya investigates cases of spontaneous human combustion. Expect a lot of salamanders behaving badly when Sparky lays eggs in Anya's bathtub.

Laura's novel Dark Oracle is also available for pre-order from Amazon. Dark Oracle will be released under Laura's other alias, Alayna Williams. Here is the summary for Dark Oracle:

Can an oracle change the future she sees?

Tara Sheridan swore off criminal profiling years ago. By combining Tarot card divination with her own intuition, she narrowly escaped the grasp of a serial killer who left her scarred for life. She put down her cards and withdrew from work and society. Now, Sophia, a member of an ancient secret society connected to the mythic Delphic Oracle, asks Tara to find a missing scientist who has unlocked the destructive secrets of dark energy. Tara resists— she fears reawakening her long-buried talents and blames Sophia’s Daughters of Delphi for the death of her mother. But, grudgingly, she agrees to search for the missing scientist, Lowell Magnusson.

Tara travels to Las Alamos National Laboratory, the location of Magnusson’s disappearance. She meets the serious, impatient, and highly attractive Agent Harry Li— and re-encounters her old partner, Richard Corvus. Corvus is now chief of the Special Projects Division, a position Tera might have held, had she not dropped out of investigative work. Corvus considers Tara mentally imbalanced and not to be trusted— but it may be Corvus who is untrustworthy.

Tara’s investigation and Tarot cards tell her Magnusson’s daughter, Cassie, may hold the key to her father’s plans, and that they both are in grave danger. Meanwhile, Corvus and the Daughters of Delphi have their own plans...and the fate of the world hangs in the balance.

Both of these books sound fantastic. I can't wait to get my hands on Embers, the first in the Anya Kalinczyk series, which is also available for pre-order at Amazon.

Wow. You rock, Laura.

Give me Shelter

2009-11-24T13:18:00.000-08:00

Felt compelled to write another quick post. Christmas is everywhere. Can't escape it. I'm trying to get psyched this year for my little guy. We're going to do some Christmas lights around the house. Nothing crazy, just some. We didn't do any the last couple of years. We were too busy and it was okay with me.

I really don't have anything personal against Christmas. I'm all for peace and good will. And although it's true that Christmas has been heavily commercialized, that isn't what bothers me so much.

This time of year makes me want to hide. I don't mind the upbeat, jazzy modern holiday music, but the traditional stuff makes me want to slam my hands over my ears and sing anything else.

I'm really a pretty happy person. I'm a positive person, and I'm not one to wallow. I'm stubborn and persistent and driven when it comes to doing a job right, my writing in particular. But any job, really.

But I still have trouble with the whole Christmas thing. Ghosts of Christmas past. The memory of having, on Christmas Eve, to bring my father his Christmas gift to whichever bar he was sitting in at the time (whichever bar hadn't banished him for fighting). My mother had long divorced him by then. Smart move. He'd sit there until they threw him out. This went on for years, until I stopped bringing him a gift.

Believe me. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. Like I said, I don't wallow. I don't ruminate. But somehow they manage to come back. Those dark times. Christmas makes me nervous. Leaves me feeling untethered. I'd really rather avoid it.

The desire to get completely immersed in the writing and to work myself on my elliptical until I drop is overwhelming.

But all things in moderation. Because maybe there wouldn't be all that much of a difference between downing several drinks or burying myself in the writing and exercise to escape something that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I'm determined to be happy for my little guy. And I usually can fake it anyway, for the people around me that I love. I keep the downer shit under wraps.

Not throwing myself a pity party. Those are for chumps! Just wanted to confess and move on.

Almost There

2009-11-24T06:24:00.001-08:00

This is the final week of Nano. I'm holding steady with the word count. I write pretty clean and I'm not much for padding or wasted words, so there more than anything I'll need to add some description. When I go back and read this thing I know I'll see some plot holes I need to fill. Also, plot threads that I forgot about or just did nothing with that I need to cut.

There's also one character I'm not sure I'll keep. I like him but so far he hasn't done much. But since I need to add 30 to 40 K on this manuscript, you never know. I'll give him a chance to take the ball and run with it in the second pass. If he doesn't, he'll have to go. Maybe I'll use him in another story some day.

I woke up at 5 a.m and could't get back to sleep. Finally at 5:30 I got on my elliptical. It felt good because it's been over three weeks! I'm sure I'll be feeling it tomorrow.

That's all for now. Over and out.