Why Must I Have a Title?

New address

2008-03-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

Come visit my new blog!

Sleepover

2007-12-02T22:04:00.000-06:00

On Friday night I had Brighton and Abby over for a sleepover. We had lots of fun and lots of food. I took the girls to Taco Bell for dinner and then we came home and had popcorn, candy, soda and even some milk. The girls picked out 2 movies at Blockbuster.

After we ate and the popcorn was made we changed into our jammies and watched a movie. Abby and I feel asleep at about 9:30pm and Brighton was awake until 10:30 when the movies was over. I thought for sure that I would be up with them until the wee hours, but I guess when you get a 8 year olds out of bed at 6am, they are tired by 10pm.

The next morning I fixed hot chocolate, pancakes, and bacon. After breakfast the girls went downstairs to play. They play with the dolls I had when I was their age. It was fun to watch them play together and not argue over them. It was fun to see my dolls after so long in boxes.Brighton and Abby also enjoyed the dog kennel and the toddler tricycle.

It was fun to spend time with these girls, we had a great talk about God and what he desires from us as young women. Of course with girls this age we did talk about boys. They are so young to worry about this, yet our society is demanding that children grow up so fast. I had a great "teachable moment" to tell them that God wants us to focus on Him and not boys. The insight that the girls had already about focusing on God and not boys was amazing. I pray that each of these girls will remember these things as the face the beginning of the teenage years. I also pray that this was just the first sleepover of many that we will be able to have! I love Brighton and Abby and can't wait to spend time with them as they grow!

View from my Office Window in October

2007-12-02T21:44:00.000-06:00

I work in Marthasville, MO. The campus is unbelievably beautiful, all throughout the year. The campus is an Old Theological Seminary and has been there since the 1890s. This October it was especially pretty.

I almost missed this....

2007-12-01T12:14:00.000-06:00

Winston came to live with us 2 weeks ago. In those two weeks I have been getting up about 1 hour earlier and taking Winston and Jackson for a walk. We have made good progress in our walks. The first morning Jackson walked perfect, like always as long as he has his training collar on, and I dragged Winston down to the corner and back. Day 2 was better, less dragging.
By day 3 Winston walked along with Jackson. Then came the day I had a broken finger. That was HARD work, it was cold and I had to hold both leashes in one hand. I tried a new route on this walk and actually ended up lost! I almost had to call for a rescue pick up and then I found a street name that I knew lead back to the main road. 2 weeks have gone by and we have now made it up to 2 miles in about 35-40 minutes.

On Tuesday of this week, I did NOT want to get up. I was tired, my hand was hurting and I had an allergic reaction to the tape on my hand the night before so I was suffering the benadryl hangover. I dragged myself up the stairs, got dressed, wrangled the dogs and head out the door and saw this....

God is so good to grant us little surprises when we need them most. As I was walking that morning, I was very aware of God in my life and thankful that I had breath and life to drag myself out of bed to see His Glorious creation.

Its a Boy!

2007-11-19T19:14:00.000-06:00

This is Winston... he is the new addition to the family. His eyes need to be fixed in this picture, but you get the idea!

He is a German Shorthaired Pointer and he is so cute. He was born on August 2, 2007, he is just under 4 months old.

Winston seems to like Jackson. I am not so sure that Jackson is all that excited about him all of the time, Jackson is getting old enough to want to his rest. That is when the kennels come in handy!

My Brother is Offically Married

2007-11-19T18:46:00.000-06:00

Well the day has come and gone... a month ago... and a few days.

It was a fun day and I was blessed by getting to spend the time before the wedding with Ashley.

2007-10-16T20:09:00.000-05:00

The Power of Prayer

2007-08-14T21:45:00.000-05:00

A Few weeks ago, in my preparation to go back to El Mezquital and to see the people who have become dear to me, I found some pictures of Pastor Victor preaching on Sunday. Last year Pastor Victor preached a sermon called the Power of Prayer. Even though I did not understand 95% of what he said, I could tell that God was speaking through him to his church, to the people of El Mezquital, and to me.

I have prayer before. I have thanked God for who He is and for what He has done. I have asked God for health, safety, patience, grace, comfort, healing, peace, love, joy, and much more. I have allowed my prayer time to become stale and I have been guilty of saying “ I will pray for you.” And then I forgot as quick as it the words come off of my lips. Sometimes I feel like my prayers make an impact, but most of the time I feel like it is wasted breath.

One year after I heard Pastor Victor’s sermon on prayer, I have experienced the Power of Prayer as I never have in my own life. On evening as we were preparing to show the Jesus film in Matamoros at the location of the new church plant of Bautista Horeb, a few of us were witnesses to something very scary. In the house closest to where we were, a man was beating his wife, pulling her around by her hair, and yelling at her and their children. One of the older children ran down the road to where the woman’s father lived. The father and the children who lived in the home returned and the father had a baseball bat. He rescued his child and his grandchildren and sped off in the direction of his home. The man who had been abusing his family followed down at about 60 miles an hour. The roads in this community could be compared to a very poor dirt path. The husband was obviously drunk. The children from the community were all watching a chattering about the incident. Luckily, I only caught the tail end of this horror, but they children had seen it all.

After standing in shock for several moments and feeling scared and like the Enemy had just proved his presence, I got several people together to pray, it was all we could do. As I looked around several small groups of people were praying. I prayed for safety from this man and his anger and a few other things. As I prayed the words, “God we know that this man needs you, call him to yourself and if that means you bring him over here, bring him.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth I was shocked, I closed my prayer quickly and thought in awe. This was the first time that I can remember not having to think about what I was praying, words were just coming out of my mouth. It was rather scary; I knew the Holy Spirit had been there. I spent most of the rest of the night in awe of what I had just experienced. We never heard a thing from him the rest of the evening, but he was watching and listening to what was going on so close to his home.

The next morning when we arrived at the church, the man was still sitting in his car, probably past out from the night before. As we prepared to start clinics and other activities of the day, he began to drive around on the streets closest to the church. He was watching what we were doing. Several minutes later, this man approached a group of men from our group including the Pastor Benjamin, (Bautista Horeb), Pastor Ron, (2Rivers), Ricardo (member of Bautista Horeb) and Sam (member of 2Rivers and translator), to ask if he could have some gasoline for his car. Apparently, he needed to go somewhere.

The men told him that they would give him some gas, but first they needed to talk to him about the way he was treating his wife and his family the night before. The man, Raul, broke down and started crying and he asked the men to come to his house to talk. I had seen the men talking to a man, but I had no idea it was the same man from the night before until I looked over into his house and saw a bunch of our men in his home. While in Raul’s home, the men told him that it was unacceptable treat his family in such a way and that the drinking needed to end. He agreed with them, broke down, and told his life story. Raul’s father had been an alcoholic and his mother had died when he was three. He did not want this for his children and recognized his need to end the cycle. Now, his wife, Esmeralda, had left because of his drinking and she had taken their three children, ages 11, 8 and 6, with her. After much talking and discussion the men were able to present the Good News to Raul and he recognized his need for the Savior, Raul accepted the Lord.

It was not until that afternoon while on the ride back to El Mezquital that I heard about all of this. It was quite overwhelming! All I could think about was the feeling I had the night before and the prayer that God gave to me! After we completed some visits in El Mezquital we had the honor and blessing of meeting with Raul to pray with and to encourage him. I was a little nervous about entering his home, but the men who were with me assured me that he was safe. We all went into to Raul's very small one room home. It was maybe 15ft x 15 ft in size. He has a small table and one chair, a full sized bed, a stove, and a cabinet in the home. One could tell that children once occupied the home. There was a coloring page one of them had made that said “Happy Birthday Daddy, I love you.” A few other belongs were throughout the home. Raul, his wife and three children all lived in this small home.

As we began to talk with him and pray, Raul started crying again. He broke down and was weeping uncontrollably. He was shaking and crying aloud. Raul was confessing his sins to us; he was completely undone before and the Lord. We prayed for him for a while and it was a truly unique and God moment. I was so amazed by his attitude and his brokenness over his sin. He was a broken man and he had nothing but the Lord. Someone mentioned that God was his only hope and I remembered a bookmark that I received earlier in the week, I was waiting to share it with someone special, and here it was the last day of our trip. I ran out to the van and brought it to Raul. I gave it to him as a reminder that God was his only hope and the without God there was no hope of recovery for his family! After we were done praying, I looked out the door and I saw the Church. I thought in my head, “He will be a leader there one day,” and seconds later Pastor Ron told him, “Maybe next year when we come back, you will be the Pastor over there.” I knew God was in that thought and I look forward to my next trip to see what God has done with Raul and the church.

As we parted ways after much prayer and many hugs and words of encouragement, we took a few pictures and said goodbye. While I was walking back to the van, I was amazed at how God had changed this man from a very scary individual to a man after God's heart in one day. I recalled my feelings of fear and discomfort the evening before and compared that to how I was feeling then, while standing next to him. I did not want to leave Raul; I wanted to know more about his life and his family and what brought him to were he was.

My feeling of sadness that we had to leave is still with me. I understand addictions and the desperation to continue in them. This has only led me to pray fro Raul, Esmeralda, and their children repeatedly. I don’t even know them, yet I miss them. I long for them to know God in a way that will change them into people who will serve the Lord and honor Him in all they do.

God taught me so much through this experience with Raul. God showed me that my prayers, when aligned with the will of God are effective. I now understand the true power of prayer. God taught me that he gives us the desire to pray and he wants to bless us though those prayers. God’s plan for Raul was written long before my prayer, and God did not need me to pray for Raul to recognize his need for God. God could have done it all…by Himself. Instead, God allowed me to be blessed. He allowed me to pray what I did. He allowed me to experience horror and fear of Raul. He allowed me to catch a glimpse into the house when the men were in there praying. He allowed me to be in the van to hear the story first hand from Pastor Ron and Sam. He allowed me to meet Raul and experience his brokenness before the Lord. He allowed me to love on a man who needed nothing more. He allowed my heart to be moved by this experience. He blessed me in His work and I could ask for nothing more.

Raul's children. The only photo he has of them, it is many years old.

Raul's home as seen from the Church

Greetings

2007-08-09T18:32:00.001-05:00

Healing and Mexico

2007-06-23T21:31:00.000-05:00

Jackson is healing nicely! He actually played out in the yard most of the afternoon, in thunderstorms!

I mowed the lawn and attempted to plant a new tree. The ground was so compacted down, I think from the tractors from construction driving all over the back yard. Needless to say, the tree is still in a pot.

My annual Mission trip to Mexico is coming up very quickly. I have mixed emotions about going. I am excited and anxious all at the same time. I am not sure what I am going to be doing in Mexico this year, the past 2 years I have planned and organized the activities for the kids. It was a huge challenge and I feel like it was a whole lot of work, with out the outcome that I envisioned. It is hard for me when I work so hard at planning something and "seeing" how it will work out, and then the actual outcome "falling short." Last year, El Club de Biblia para los ninos, was so crazy! There was very little time in which we could get translators and it was hard for us non Spanish speaking individuals to communicate Bible lessons and directions for crafts. It was very difficult. I had more fun making bracelets and coloring with the kids while there was down time. I also was able o help in the medical clinic and with a few other small projects.

This year I am not sure where I am going to fit in. I really want to do clinic and help the nurses. I think this would give me wonderful hands-on experience for a career in nursing. I also want to help with the kids becasue I enjoyed them last year and I have a lot of knowledge in what works in Mexico and what does not. I am hoping that I will be able to pass along some of this knowledge this year and have time to hang out with children and do a few things, but also have time to be in the clinics.

I think the time away from home and work will be good. I am ready to have a vacation from my life, I will miss the Brown kiddos though!

OUCH

2007-06-19T21:25:00.000-05:00

If you are not a dog person, or at least have a pet that you love... the following might make you think I am crazy!

Jackson has had a bad week, while we were at Dad's house for Fathers Day and he was swimming and playing in the water all day. You know how your toes and finger tips get all wrinkled and soggy when you spend too much time in the water? Well, it happens to dogs too!

While that skin on his paws was all soggy and wrinkled, he ran up the gravel drive and ripped his paw pads open. He can hardly walk now! I took him to the vet yesterday and they can't do much about it except tell me not to let him run and to keep him resting! NO PROBLEM DOC, he can't walk! The paws are bleeding a little now and he is walking with his toes all curled up so he doesn't put the middle of his foot down. It is pretty miserable looking. I have cried a lot trying to get him to eat and go out to potty. I realize he is a dog, blah blah blah, but he is MY dog and I love him!

I am not sure I should ever have children, I was a mess at the vet and each time I see him try to walk to his bed or his food, I cry! The vet said it was like if we had 3rd degree burns on the whole bottom of our feet! OUCH! I cried today and yesterday when I left for work, and I cried when he wouldn't go potty this morning. He is eating at least ow and he is drinking again, I know those are good things, maybe it won't take much longer to heal.

I am sure that he will be as crazy as ever in just a few more days! I am excited to take him back to swim! HE LOVES IT!

This is Jackson at the Dog Swim at the end of last pool season at the city pool.

This is Jackson's pool!

Mother’s Day Weekend

2007-05-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

My mom turned Matt, Ashley and me into slaves on Mother’s Day Weekend. Well, we volunteered, but it was hard work. On Saturday, all 4 of us worked in the yard from 1-7pm. We all worked on several projects. Matt buried the sub pump pipe and dug a little pit for it to drain into so that dirt will not back up into the pipe.

He also dug a hole for a tree and a bush in the front yard.

He dug up the grass and moved it from the front to the back so that we could make another flower bed. Ashley and I weeded and planted a new flower bed on the side of the house. We got several shade loving pants into the ground where they will thrive! I mowed the side yards and back yard while Ashley and Mom raked the front from earlier in the week. Then I mowed half of the front yard and Mom finished it. I ran the weed eater all along the house and areas that needed it. The Ashley and I raked the front yard again after the mowing was completed. We finished up all of our hard work with a nice pork roast dinner including salad, corn on the cob, and potatoes. We all worked together and it was very good! Matt and Ashley stayed at the house until about 9:30pm. It was a long day, but we got a lot accomplished and the yard was on its way to looking good. We even found a little turtle while mowing. I captured him, feed him strawberries and I wanted to keep him until Brighton and Kiana could see him, but Matt stole him from his new home and put him back in the yard!

A Mother's Day Gift from Matt and Ashley

On Sunday, Mom and I got up early and got ready for our day. We went to the St Louis Zoo for the morning. It was a very nice day and the Zoo was already busy when we arrived. We saw tons of stuff, but our favorite was the Baby Elephant, Maliha. She is nine months old now and just plays like a kid! She was sleeping on the ground went we got there and her mother was covering her with hay, but in a few minutes she was up and walking all around. We even got to see her nurse from her momma, which was amazing! She just lifted her little trunk right out of the way! It was fun to watch the her.

We wanted to make it to the monkeys and the Red Rock area of the Zoo, but we were hungry and ready to eat. We rode the train around and finished our morning listening to the train engineer Zoo tour!

On the way home we stopped at Wal-Mart to get some food for lunch and dinner and we also went to Lowe’s. Wal-Mart had Alberta Spruce trees on sale, so we bought 10! We also bought a new hose and many more plants to get in the ground. So as you can imagine, we spent the rest of the day outside getting the new stuff in the ground. I dug 10 tree holes and got them all in. I also completed the mowing on the back hill. We really wanted to get some stuff planted up there, but we decided to call Dig-Rite first. So we planted a nice row of trees instead. I am sure we will buy a few more the weekend. I did find 3-4 small trees on the hill while I mowed. We are going to nurture them and hopefully they will grow into nice big trees!

Our row of trees now starts 4 feet from the road and goes althe way to the back of the house.

These are some of the flower pot arrangements we put together this week end. This one has Elephant Ears, some type of yellow daises, phlox, and other green and pretty stuff!

This one is kind of a mystery. We planted some petunias seeds and a seed mix, as well as the green spiky grass.

Lavender flower bed.

Ivy under the deck.

The side house flower bed. Includes all kinds of things that love the shade.

Trees waiting to get in the ground and a floer pot to decorate the drive way...

New flower bed under a bay window

David's Tree

A New Kind of Algebra

2007-05-18T19:28:00.000-05:00

If you know me at all, you know how much I despise advanced math.

Honestly, I couldn’t care any less about math. I can add, subtract, multiply and divide. I can find the area of simple shapes and I use math daily in my job. I really can do it if I can remember all of the formulas and rule on when to use what. College algebra and trig scare me.

In the past 8 months I have conquered 3 huge math mountains. First, I had to re-take the ACT and I was not worried at all about the test until I remembered the math. I got a review book and I studied every minute that I could. When I got stuck, I asked for help. My friends, Jennifer and James helped me get out of that mess and I moved on. Test day came and went. I used every minute of the math section to complete it. (I am almost always a fast test taker and very rarely do I used all of the time given.) It seems liked forever before I got my results, but they were good. I got 6 points higher than needed to get into the college! My highest score was in math!

Next was a drug calculation test. I studied and completed a whole book of practice problems. I memorized conversions that no one uses anymore, like grains, and I learned how to figure out how many drops an IV drops for a given dose. I passed that test with a 97%.

Last, there was chemistry. Oh, I am so glad to be done with that class! It almost killed me. I have NEVER struggled that hard in school before in my life. I would sit in class and everything seemed to fit together and make sense. When I took the online quizzes, it was evident that I didn’t “get it” as much as I thought while still in class. My lab was fun; I enjoyed the instructor and my lab partners. The instructor was fun, outgoing, and loved to teach! My lab partners and I worked together and did fairly well. We only caught one thing on fire the whole semester and that wasn’t our fault. (An extra person joined our group for the day, he did it! I promise!) I did well in the lab because our book had each problem laid out with an example and all we had to do was plug in our numbers to get the correct answer, it the lecture quizzes that got me. I struggled for several weeks learning formulas, gas laws, and other (as I see it) useless information. I finally got to the point that I had no idea what formula to use when and I had no idea when to use grams of a substance or Moles of a substance. Needless to say, this was beginning to take at toll on my grade (a big old whopping C). I finally met with a tutor who goes to my church, Randy, and gained lots of my confidence back. As we sat and looked at the problems, I was so close and had the basic idea of solving them. It was just math that got in the way of my confidence. I told Randy that all I needed was a C in this class and that I would be perfectly happy. I was right on the line of a C and a D. I prayed and prayed and had friends pray the night of the final. I was sick to my stomach for 2 days before and I couldn’t sleep the night before. (I have NEVER been like that over a test before.) On test night, I felt anxious, but as ready as I could be. I did the questions I knew how to do first, this took about an hour and then I went back to tackle the others. After looking at a few, I sat there recognizing the questions but just not sure how to do it! I prayed and talked my self back to a calm state. After about 5 minutes of looking at one problem, it just came to me! I got it and I completed the final. I got a passing grade and completed the course with a C. I found out when I went to my car that Brandi had been raying hard for me the same time that ‘I got it.”

God is good.

Like I mentioned before, I rarely have struggled in school. I got mostly As and Bs (excluding World History- who cares?) and the thought of a C was not fun. That is when my dad told me that C=RN. That is the truth! I can do that kind of algebra!

2007-04-03T21:20:00.001-05:00

I am alive

2007-04-03T21:15:00.000-05:00

and nothing reminds me more than this family's story.

More soon... I promise.

Visit http://www.ninetynineballoons.com/ for more information about Eliot.

My New Job

2007-02-23T07:35:00.000-06:00

I started my new job last Wednesday. So far I am learning a lot and really enjoying it! It has been interesting to learn the history of the organization and to see the plans for the future.

In just 1 short week I have been blessed by the strong Christian faith that exists here.

This is the chapel on the campus where I will be each day!

Here is the mission and vision of my new employer.

Mission: Arising from faith in Jesus Christ, the mission of ---- is to enhance the quality of life for adults of all beliefs who have cognitive, intellectual and other developmental disabilities.

Vision:----- will be an outstanding provider of a care continuum, within nurturing communities, for adults with cognitive, intellectual and other developmental disabilities.

School

2007-01-29T17:33:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are in the third week of school. I am getting into a
routine and schedule. It is hard working full time and going to school
three days a week. Some of the people I work with don't get how much
work my classes require, they are in school one day a week! I am not
sure how my mom made it through her bachelor's degree with 3 kids,
and a fulltime job and school work. Maybe she is super woman!!

The fist three days of the week are the worst and then the rest of the
week just sails by. Monday I work from 8:15-4:45pm, rush home for an
hour to let Jackson out and eat dinner, then I head to school for a
6:30-9:30pm class. On Tuesdays I usually work from 9-5 and then head
to grab something to eat and then its off to school for a 6:30-9:30
class. Then on Wednesdays I am at work from 9-5, I come home for a
little while and then I have home team. Last week by about 8:30pm at
home team, I was so tired I could hardly stay awake. I was asleep by
10:30pm. Thursdays are better with a lab at 10am and
work from 1-9. I feel like I am never at home! My time at home, alone,
is the time I get rest and energy to carry on throughout the week, so I
have been feeling a bit tired and ready to sleep when the time comes!

My classes are good and I am enjoying them. I am still studying like
crazy for my Drug Calculation test at the end of February. I will be
glad when that is over! I am calculating IV drip flow rates in my sleep.
I am not kidding! I think about the formulas all of the time, I guess that is a
good thing since I need to know them for the test.

From Tom

2007-01-23T18:01:00.000-06:00

My friend Tom is cool. He sent this out with our hometeam reminder.
Some days (today) I need things like this....

Romans 8:38-39
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

that is some good news. If you are in His hand, no one is taking you out. no one is removing you, no one can touch you or tear you from Him. That is security and that is something that when you work your mind around it, helps you stand strong, stand firm and find joy where the world sees only folly. God is the mighty warrior over you and He will not let anyone tear you away from Him, if you are His, eternity with Him is yours. Praise God for His strength, goodness and mercy. Nothing you face is bigger than Him. You face it not alone, and you face it with His knowledge that you are facing it. You are secure. Rest in Him. When all the world falls apart, Rest in Him.

John Piper is Bad

2007-01-16T23:37:00.000-06:00

My Favorite Part
"No, but I don't disapprove of it."

Photoshop Lessons

2007-01-15T23:59:00.000-06:00

I am learning how to use Photoshop Elements! There is a lot to learn, but it is fun to figure out things when they do what you want! Brandi sent me some pictures of Xander today and I thought I would play with this one.

School Starts Tomorrow

2007-01-15T23:08:00.000-06:00

That's right... my first class is tomorrow night. I have Chemistry on Tuesday nights and the lab on Thursday mornings. My Anatomy and Physiology class will be on Mondays. I am excited to get started, but a little anxious about when I am going to study. I set up a little study area in the basement today.

It may be a while before I get to use it though, we are having the basement worked on this week. Apparently, the soil around our house in something called "plastic soil" (a soil capable of being molded or deformed continuously and permanently into various shapes by moderate pressure). It basically means that the soil has compacted into the foundation at a fast rate and has created to much pressure for the house to handle. We noticed a problem after all of the snow in December started to melt. The basement was damp around the perimeter and the sump pit was full of water. Needless to say- this has put off any finishing of the basement for a while. The work will start this week. They will be digging up lots of stuff- a 3 ft wide, 9 ft deep hole outside along the house and a few feet deep on the inside perimeter. They will lay drain tiles and some kind of sealant to the concrete inside and out. We will also have 2 sump pumps and a dehumidifier installed. All of this on a 2 year old house! Yikes!

A bird dog

2007-01-04T23:02:00.000-06:00

As I was writing my last post, Jackson was outside. He has been asking to come in for several minutes and then he stopped. That is when I started to hear the strangest noise. At first I though that it was a TV in the other room. Next, I decided that it was kids from the neighborhood playing at the end of the street. The noise settled down and then got nervous that something had happened to my dog. I hopped up and got to the door as quickly as I could while trying not to dump my laptop in the floor. This is what I found..

Jackson, at the end of his leash at the farm side of our yard looking at and listening intently to SOMETHING. I got my shoes on and walked over by him and then I heard it! I am pretty sure it was a turkey! That is when the laughing started...

Jackson, the 90 pound bird dog, (who, backed the ADT salesman about 10 feet from my door with his barking) jumped behind me and started shaking. We stayed out there for a while and listened and he stood behind me the entire time. Since he came in the house he has been plastered to my side like the vicious turkey is going to come in here at eat him alive. I am so glad to know that if there ever is any danger or threat on my life that he will come to my rescue. What a sissy! My bird dog is afraid of Turkeys and thereofre birds.

Sick and Rambling

2007-01-04T22:23:00.000-06:00

I have been sick for more than a week now! I am tired and need to sleep but I cannot get comfortable. So i have been thinking a lot. First about this dreaded sickness.. (I promise that this will lead into some thing good in the end.)

It started out as a little cough and then all hell broke loose in my body. You know the Nyquil commercial, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever... blah blah blah. By Thursday night I was exhausted. I made it through the closing shift at work and then I was done. On Friday I spent a whole day in bed. I got up for an hour, took a shower and then went back to bed for 6 hours. Somewhere in there I was up long enough to have a chocolate shake and then back to bed.

Saturday was better and then the fever hit. I ended up in Urgent Care after work on Sunday with a 101 fever and lots of asthma symptoms. The doctor started me on some antibiotics and steroids for my asthma. I felt a little better for a few days and then Wednesday ended up back to the doctor for asthma problems. When I got to the of ice I was not feeling well at all. I had a fever of 100, not bad and was short of breath from walking in the office. The doctor said that my lungs were in bad shape. I was wheezing and he couldn't hear any air moving in the lower sections of my lungs. The fever is probably an autoimmune response of my body reacting to all of the inflammation in my lungs. After talking about how to manage the asthma and the coughing and sore throat I ended up having 2 shots of steroids, one to work right away and a longer lasting one. Steroids are a great thing to do what need to be done for my lungs but the side effects have got to go. They make my very thirsty and so I am up several times a night to use the potty.

So, last night I was up EVERY hour from 1am-5am and then I had a terrible coughing fit. My lungs were very tight from not coughing all night thanks to the cough medication. Seems to be a bad cycle. I will spare you the rest of the details about what 4 days of antibiotics does to your digestive track, but that is when I was done!

Now, backing up to Home Team last night- We were talking about our time with God. Compared to last year do we feel like we are closer to God or have we taken a step back? Why do we plan to spend time with God and then we don't? Why after knowing from past experience that time with God is what we need, do we choose not to get with God? I have all intentions of Glorifying God and doing what he wants from my life, and some days I have all intentions and time to spend time in God's Word. And I don't. I read blogs, check my email, play with the dog, watch reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, you know, pretty much everything except reading my Bible. God will make a way for us to be with Him!

So at 7:00 this morning after my body was completely exhausted from being up all night, I sat in the bathroom and prayed. I prayed for God to show me what is next. I asked God to give me a godly attitude toward fellowship. I begged God to restore my heart to a place where HE can change it. I prayed for a desire to see God and His plans for me, my friends, and my family in a new light that only God can provide. I prayed for my body to be healed. I prayed for a friend's shoulder pain to go away and for his daughter to be healed from a serious illness. Even though I was in pain and very tired, I had time with God, in the bathroom.

This last year has been an odd year. I know that I am not were I should be in my walk with God. My desire to spend time with God is just not there, this is concerning but I cannot seem to change it. I have learned so much this year. I know that God has been working in me through this year. I have experienced things this year that I never would have thought I would. There have been amazing things and their have been terrible things. There has been much joy and laughter and much sadness and grief.
I am excited about 2007, yet anxious and today I know that God is still here...

Christmas Dinner

2007-01-04T21:40:00.000-06:00

My brother Matt and his girlfriend, Ashley, had us over the day after Christmas for dinner. I spent the night after spending Christmas day with my dad. Matt and I stayed up way to late playing Dr Mario and reliving our childhood rivalry! It was fun. All in all it was a good time. It was kind of a nice to visit with my aunt and uncle with out a lot of "stressful" conversations like we have had in the last year.

Matt and Ashley prepared a wonderful meal of Steak and Lobster and all of the fixings! Here is a picture I snapped as the lobsters came out of the boiling water. I think it may be one of my new favorite pictures, notice the steam.

Brighton Show, Take 2

2006-12-19T17:42:00.000-06:00