The Philospher's Stoned

Shouts into the void

2006-04-21T19:23:00.000Z

If one were to talk in public without anyone listening, one might think he was talking on a hands-free set rather than think of him as a crazy man. Of course, if he had chlothes from the gutter and chewing something remotely food-like. well, either way, I'll keep my distance thanks.

Self-expression is a necessity of the human condition. regardless to whom might be listening out there. there. there. (fades)

I've placed myself in many situations that necessitated me voicing my opinions, feelings into a deeper, more sophisticated level. And you know what, my head hurts.

I wish it was as simple as blabbering hours on ends. Not only must I say what I mean. I must make sure that others take from it the meaning I meant to say. if it were so simple.

Languages are inept to do this. It is in it's nature to be ambiguous, flexible. Like the brain. The brain is imperfect as I'm sure all of you have come across its imperfections. But future is not founded on perfection but on survival.

There are very slight tremors in our movements. For our body to repeat precise movements with exact precision can be very daunting, not depending on the number of repetition. But without such inherent noise in our system, we'll be here today?

Why seek perfection and not celebrate imperfection? A straight vertical line can be deceptively beautiful. Is it because it is a fortuitous for us to do so?

I feel the throbbing in my head fading. I have broken new grounds with my mom. It has been electric shock therapy for both of us. I do believe we have both achieved a new chapter in our lives.

I'm going to SIngapore tmr with Andy. What has changed? what hasn't? I can't wait to find out.

I am at London biggest radio station heart fm. no not like anything like the heart 91.3 that singapore house/d plays.

Surprisingly, radio, though ubiquitous, is at its heart (pun pun!) very empty. thank god for music. It's ability to fill the void. To reach places unreachable. It permeats the darkness like that time when the boy in The Never Ending Story who wished his last wish that the evil dark queen to have a heart. Radio might not save lives, but it airbrushes society, giving it that softer touch, so lacking today.

I remember a superhero cartoon episode I watched where superheroes of all kinds were trapped in a dense neurton/positron/electron (one or the other) field, unbreakable by any of the powers of these superheroes. Until this superhero, quiet, unimposing, opens his mouth and unleashed a sonic scream so powerful, it broke all barriers. What is its significance? Why do I still remember that scene s0 vividly? Must be the attraction to power. huh.

Nothing can bottle sound. It is in its nature to expand and reverberate anything that comes in its way.

Am I resonating yet? Maybe another bottle of beer might help. hehe.

Come and watch me act!!

2006-03-03T15:41:00.000Z

Want to know more?

Go to Asian Boys

Obsessions with perceptions

2006-02-19T14:10:00.000Z

I am no exception.

Fidel's Johari

Dates to pencil into your diaries!!!!!

2006-02-19T09:52:00.000Z

Andy and I will be in Singapore from the 23rd of April till 1st of May.

Need to meet up with people, show Andy around. The works. yup.

Keep it real.

I so wanted to be Robin. Sighz

2006-02-09T14:19:00.000Z

Your results:
You are Catwoman

Catwoman		75%
Superman		65%
The Flash		65%
Spider-Man		60%
Hulk		60%
Iron Man		60%
Robin		55%
Green Lantern		55%
Supergirl		45%
Wonder Woman		45%
Batman		25%

You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.

I don't know why?

2006-01-26T12:45:00.000Z

Yeah, don't know, but just don't seem to feel like blogging for a while.

I'm in a good place now.

I'll tell my mom i'm gay on the 4th feb 2006. so stick around to find out how that goes down.

then it'll be telling her abt Andy.

1st day of rehearsals went well, i'm bit rusty but it's great to escape. motivated to memorise my lines.

i've started swimming, though the pool tastes of sweat, and u have to dodge pesky children, some of whom are like icebergs - small heads above water, obese bodies under, which i have to manouver round. very distracting. maybe cos it's swimming lessons. but very refreshing. gets my oxygen supply to study for GRE.

my rough guide: mon - fri : work at GSK, mon, tue night = rehearse my scripts, wed night = rehearsals + Andy + desperate housewives, thurs- sun : study for GRE + Andy, tue & thurs night = swim night. Not too complicated or hectic.

well that's my life in a nutshell. sorted i hope till April. I've got a 5000 word report due in in March as well as a big presentation as well as Goldman Sachs GLP alumni. so bits and pieces thrown in to add variety. I'm flexible.

note to self: go and get ur blood test tmr.

I miss Michelle Tan Wanling (is that ur full name?) can't remember

2006-01-23T17:44:00.000Z

FIFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!How are you?? Its been so long.. TOO long! I miss you Where are you?! Why havent you met me up.. since forever?!

Oh and btw happy CNY in advance! *hugs* I was just looking thru my stuff and I came across the pressie you gave me back in JC yr 1. The cute Jap SUShi erasers!! I still can't bear to use them up.. They so cute! (But I keep them out of sight when I'm hungry though) When are you coming back? We should catch up! Tell me abt the girls in UK~! THE hostel food! school, schopping life everything!

i mis those random days in NJC wher'we'd bump into one another and just do silly little things..NUS 's been good. although sometimes it actualyl dulls in comparison to NJC. cos the pple just aren't as crazy/wacky/zany/noisy/*shameless* haha..take care!! and i really hope to hear from you soons

EARGHHHHHHHHHHHhhh*jealousy and little bits of electricty sparks flying out of my head! How'd you get to work at GSK must find me a lobang cann can can can??!!

[: your blog is so cute and alive and happening with the MTV!! mine is like this dead beat: when does misch ever update website.. but you can try and locate it anyway and see if i ever write something new and update about my life in spore.
makeURL

("http://winding-forrest.tripod.com/iiiHeaRvoices/","eHNsL21lc3NhZ2VzLnhzbA==");
http://winding-forrest.tripod.com/iiiHeaRvoices/

anyways ill let you in on my secret special blog of this girl whom i completely idolise and wish i could meet and all.. *shhhhhh* this is CLASSIFED stuff but her webbie is so cool! With great BITS of music and WACKY pictures! Very inspiring

makeURL("http://cherylkam.co.uk/","eHNsL21lc3NhZ2VzLnhzbA==");
http://cherylkam.co.uk/

Pharmacy is good! but having fun is better! I just went to Misintry of sound in spore! Its cool! they have a funky room with the disco floor you know the one with the colourful squares ( so SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER) when you come bak we must go dancing!!

no more hunky canoeist frm NJC. This time.. the lucky boy is a HWA chong Canoeist.. ( I swear I dont go just for muscles.. but.. His name is Sam (kuh on friendster)

*squeeze* are you still playing squash and are you shoulders still fun and slopey as ever?! And do you remember bumping into my best friend at orchard??? *hahahaha* come back soon! and yes if i ever go europe to visit my cousins in london ill see you too!!wish our time zones were closer!

misch

Keeping it gangster

2006-01-23T16:59:00.000Z

that and the inter-web. which does sound better than inter-net.

weekend was great. fri nite was cheer up Ashton nite with gin n tonic at the colcherne? i can't spell. it's a gay pub along old brompton rd i think. v interesting crowd and layout. pool table at one end, music on the other end, a mini stage, sleezy upstairs, and v strange lighting all round.

couldn't imagine anyone having to go through wat ashton did. don't think it's nice to say. can't remember wat we did for dinner. was it macdonalds? did we watch rein of fire and ransom that night? shrug.

anyways, sat was a lovely day, filled with blue sky and sunshine. english breakfast at the blue cafe? before getting some nuts to feed the squirrels. did manage to find some squirrels through the cemetry in Old brompton. they were shy though. Andy was hurt cos they didn't seem to respond to him. He luvs squirrels but it just wasn't meant to be a squirrely day.

We went on a slight detour through Imperial College, which blew him away. really. well, the graduating in Royal Albert Hall and my batch being the 100th yr to graduate were just bragging. weird to think that Ashton did biochem at Imperial and was Andy's ex. (I've met 2 out 4 now)

We walked through hyde park, no squirrels. Had a warm drink, holding hands and a kiss before continuing all the way to Selfridges.

Went to use Andy's bday voucher for Jean Paul Gaultier fragrance. then walked down carnaby street to see if the boy in london store was still there. ( i have a pair of jeans from there. turns out to be a gay label but i've nvr realised it. can't remember where i bought it. don't think it's real) nope, wasn't there.

trudged along through a route i've nvr been before. saw japanese shops etc gordon ramsay restaurant etc. ended up in SOHO to check out Herm's jeans and also penis pasta that grow in size. good stuff.

if u can imagine how much we've walked by now, then we really did a break. so we had lunch in Chinatown. i had congee and he had steak fillet. cheap and cheerful.

on the walk back, went through piccadilly, poped into the market for a bit. then through hyde park, laughing at roller bladers showing off, and watever thing u call them? roller skiing? smiled at the dogs. yes. we are dog lovers. v. cute.
at high st. ken, tried for the last time at an Energie shop for herms but still couldn't find them. we did try our best.

After our feet aching, calf tensing, back stinging, we finally did manage to get home. took a nap obviously. waking only cos we needed to eat and needed to go and get groceries. I cooked spaghetti with chicken and broccoli. we has smarties to start with and chocolate wafers to end. 2 chocoholics can't be gd.

slept like a baby.

Sunday was bit more nippy than sat. we went to spitafield market. had fake indonesian lunch. visited the chocolate shop after buying a belgian chocolate cake. tsk tsk. brought andy to look for something i didn't know where and wat it was called. brave andy. didn't find it obviously.

we took the tube while still recovering from the bi-pedal nightmare, to covent garden. had to show him coffee, cake and kink. Edwina, and dennis would luv it. 2 cups of strong sumatran coffee, browsing through some SM pics and books and talking abt kinky stuff. lol.

my mom called me while we were walking through covent garden. and so we talked and talked and talked. hope andy didn't mind. mothers. couldn't get to earl's court from covent garden so had to get the tube from embankment. and since we passed kudos (gay bar that apparently attracts asian and oriental gay pple in search of white meat ie SPG Sarong Party Gays.) Had a pint. Did our official bf chat and off we went.

showed off my new bf to Charlotte and gang, and Charlotte being charlotte, made ondeh ondeh, and fed us amongst other things. wasn' t too akward, i hope. i went to collect my books was the lame excuse, but true and overdue. ended up leaving it at Andy's place.

Another pint at the pub before heading back. food on a sunday evening? macdonald voucher. i got a happy meal with sonic the hedgehog toy. yeay!

used the interweb for a bit, before lying in bed watching bourne identity.

i'm starting to enjoy waking up at 6.45 -7 am. well, as long as there's someone to wake up to and walk to the tube station with.

peace out!

It's official!

2006-01-22T20:22:00.000Z

I luv Andy!

He luvs me!

We are boyfriends!

What more do you need to know?

Random ideas and babblings of a mad man

2006-01-19T10:16:00.000Z

I miss Andy.

He txt me saying how his bed smell of me and how he's loving it!

Anyways, so the geek in me says surely we've come so far in the science of odours and perfumes to be able to concot scents that faithfully represents an individual (I would like to think so). I remember ever watching Oprah (during my tv junky days) and there was an episode where a girl's mom had moved on (abruptly of course - wouldn't be on Oprah otherwise) and she was talking (through her sobbing) how she still could smell her mom in the clothes that hung from her wardrobe.

Well, at least having someone's scent in a bottle ain't that morbid as making diamond out of their ashes or god knows what they do with their bones.

Another idea which is not science fiction is to allow gay couples to have their own children who reflect, genetically, both their parents. Well, i haven't read up on IVF or what actually goes on. Maybe it does go on or is going on.

For a lesbian couple, since wombs are there, all that is needed is to take DNA from one egg and squeeze it into that pin head of a sperm. That'll prob be the trickiest bit cos the sperms head is really small and the DNA is very dense. Fertilise one with the other, leave it in the womb for 8-9 months and there you go. All their children will always be girls (XX). No Y chromosome in sight.

For a male couple, there's no womb and there's no egg. It's easier to replace an egg's DNA with one of sperm's DNA ( i would think cos the technique is being refined for stem cells etc). So u still need a womb to incubate the embryo. And a pod mimicking a womb just makes me sick. so let's stick with a human female. There's 25% chance of the baby being a girl (XX), 25% chance of the baby being a boy where 1 guy was the 'father' and the other was the 'mother'(XY) and 25% of the baby being a boy but swopping paternity and maternity (XY) and 25% chance of miscarriage (YY).

This would no doubt raise lots of moral, ethical and religious issues as well as scientific insights no doubt. Such as will the babies be normal as in will they be predisposed to a certain illness, mental or physical.

(this came to mind cos evolution and how the majority of the living world is driven, is that they are driven by the need to propagate DNA with time, so being liberated from the control of DNA might either mean just that - we've regained control over DNA instead of bodies being elaborate designs to propagate DNA or while the DNA at present might be alright, it might be haploid for a lot of genes i.e. has a very high propensity of being harmful even before sexual maturity such that DNA adopts a dormancy from propagation?)

If u really wanted to know if gay-ness was heredrity, this would be a gd way to find out.

A lot of research would need to be done, a lot of money, a lot of safety issues. Who would fund it and how will it be received by the straight and gay world? conservative and liberal? religious groups?

Mummblings of a mad scientist. Pls ignore.

Time for an update

2006-01-18T16:24:00.000Z

A lot has happened in the past couple of days.

There was Andy's sudden mid-life crisis of a new job, a new place and a bf, which in hind sight wasn't that sudden or such a crisis as you would think.

And then there was us wanting to see how we'll work out as bfs. cool huh.

I came down to London to attend a JP Morgan talk which was rubbish. ended up doing the easy crossword puzzle at the back of Felx, the student union paper. The hand out was really great though, hence i didn't need to stick around to ask any of them any questions, though i acted like some craze homeless person, downing 2 glasses of orange juice, 1 glass of white wine, and running away with 3 sandwiches, 1 slice of quiche, 1 sausage roll and half a scotch egg in my mouth. Hopefully they don't remember me for that.

Well, I had gd reason to hurry. I was gonna meet Andy and Edwina (his flatmate/workmate?) for drinks (and food). Ended up earlier than Edwina. hehe. We were at TGIF to celebrate Edwina's new job. We did it in style. 3 super large mojitos each (that took ages to make but was yummy and potent), 2 chicken nachos to start, and 1 main course each. Boy, did i regret stuffing all that food at JP Morgan.

It was nice to get to know Edwina (at least the happy side of Edwina). She sure has spunk! A gay man trapped in a woman's body with such a colourful personality! I'm so happy for her. It's not very often ur bosses turn out to be gay, in a partnership in every sense of the word (having nkown each other for 14yrs, how sweet) and moving to Brighton. woohoo! Fiesty is such an understatement.

After 3 huge mojitos, I still can remember edwina flirtinig with the waiter, boobs flying about. Talk of men to shag or shagged or almost did shag, Edwina loving my card, parading it around. wonder if she did bring it to work. talk of food being spilled, haha, talk of New York, talk of straight woman being turned on by gay men, talk of mother attending Madonna's concert/oogling at coronation st. person. oh and of Andy singeing his hair cos of my candle. aww.

poor andy felt threatened by Edwina that she might steall me away from him. Not a chance. I still like her to bits though.

and then went back to his to sleep. having someone to wake up to in the morning is such a nice feeling. we walked all the way to High st. ken before parting.

the greatest bit was talk of going to Singapore or New York. how cool will that be!

2nd season of desperate housewives is showing tonite. looking forward to that and House primiering tmr. Great week ahead!

there's that little angel that tells me to study.

Action Potential

2006-01-15T21:20:00.000Z

It probably means different things to different people, but I've found a new meaning to that those words.

It's a nature neuroscience blog. My answer hopefully to the world of the neuroscience community.

Action Potential

Their latest entry is also something down my alley. Could u imagine a a theatre company More than 100 artists with 13 plays presenting 69 events over 25 days covering works inspired by neurological conditions:

Amnesia (Korsakov's Syndrome),
Aphasia,
Autism,
Capgras Syndrome,
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD),
Dementia,
Meniere’s Disease,
Synesthesia, and
Tourette’s Syndrome

how cool is that. it's stuff that lends itself to both arts and science that i luv.

Neurofest

Easy like sunday morning

2006-01-15T15:47:00.000Z

Our french babe! Mathilde

tart au citron? Be easy on her. it's her first time making it using a new recipe. she's so traumatised, she's not going to bake for a month. awww.

just in case u didn't see the glazed lemon syruppy topping on the tart. it tastes better than it looks. looks like i'll be growing fat on this.

woke up to the smell of pan fried cumbeland chipolatas by our resident Medmoiselle? Mathilde.
She was also making lemon meringue. tart au citron (lemon tart?)

A nice hot shower.

Listened to another 80s cd, much better than the 1st cd.

Wishing I was by Andy's side.

Till then. I'm reading scientific magazines and rehearsing lines.

good nite and good luck.

If u feel like listening to Theme song to Gummy bears...

2006-01-14T21:42:00.000Z



Gummy Bears Theme Song

found it whilst looking for a gummy bear pic for andy.

haha. i wouldn't have ottherwise.

listening to the lyrics,

seems most of my friends are gummy bears. *boink

A week of erasure

2006-01-14T21:32:00.000Z

Came across some of erasure's music videos. I think they're quite funny.

very random, cheesy lyrics and with videos to match.

reminds me of the sort of music videos aqua would do.

the guy in erasure reminds me of graham norton.

enjoy!

Getting to know my IQ

2006-01-14T19:23:00.000Z

Friday the 13th and I tot all would go into disarray.

Started the day realising that the IQ's (imperial Queers) pub crawl was today and not next friday! Me, being thick, spent 1o min realising what time we're suppose to meet at the da vinci bar (IC's union bar) - 7.30pm. O.k, not bad. doable.

Since, I was coming into London, the most obvious thing to do was to txt Andy abt it. and i did. and we'll meet up at half 9-ish. he had a press screening of munich with his friend, Denis, the filipino male nurse whose alcohol limit is a 1 gin n tonic, and carries a bottle of evian mineral water as well as a SM comic porn mag (his idea of a quite evening?) they shagged a long time ago while in the gym? (no, not in the gym, well i don't know, but they met in the gym?) haha. I like!

So there i was in the labs, wanting to reply to andy's txst but couldn't, god knows where my purple nitrile gloves have been. Realised my work increased near the end of the day when things get really panicky. ( on a whim decided to throw in some +ve n -ve controls, to impress the boss) with unthought of consequences such as the many more gels i'll need and the extra delay i'll be incurring.

finished work in time to catch the 5.47 pm shuttle bus to the town centre, before sprinting back home to take a quick shower ( meet IQ people for the first time and Andy without taking a shower...unthinkable) managed to catch the 6.30 train (after more sprinting), reaching london at 7pm and south ken at 7.30pm and the union bar at 7.45 pm (after more running)

Arriving there, only not to know who were in IQ and who weren't. The idea of asking people if they were gay did cross my mind. i need to send my gaydar for re-calibration. I was abt to leave if it weren't for Nik (whom i've chatted online and he had his pic so i could remember) who saved me and introduced me to the gang.

Went to Trash Palace, twds chinatown, (nvr noticed it before), trashy songs? not always. v. crowded. then off to the Village (no this is not where the village people come from), then to the yard (it really is a yard. suaku) followed by the element before a pizza, hot dog and a bus back to Andy's (with a toothbrush bought along the way)

Let's try to remember wat i drank: 1 pint carlsberg, red bull, whisky+ coke, gin n tonic, bottle of fosters, another pint of beer, smirnoff ice 3 bottles? oh can't remember. I don't drink like a fish do i?

Let's try to remember people's names: Nik, Tom (nik's bf), Hubert?(PRC guy), Roary?(essex masters asian on the inside boy), Sasha (german exhcange student), Ben, Gideon, Dave, Ted?, Dennis or Denis?, Hilary? all so hazy. spent most of my time with andy from village onwards, climaxing at the element where we were in our own world.

well, speaking of climaxes. the sex was awesome. (another love bite, no apologies needed) came in total of 4 0r 5 times. that'll be 8 or 10 times between us. tried different positions, things. mind blowing! stayed in bed till 4pm, occassionally getting up for the loo, or shower or lunch. we could have stayed there for ever. would go into details but it'll just take too much time. (actually there are bits n pieces of clairty, the rest is hazy)

it's nice of him to be so accomodating and game even if he felt like crap but still looked so great! *muacks

Listening to Faithless - Insomnia on Gaydar Radio. I'm sure they use this too often in porn flicks,

supafly - let's get down

tweet - boogie 2 tonite

mylo vs yazoo - (don't) drop the pressure

Another one of yup's. honest. so true it doesn't help. i have too many interests!

2006-01-12T12:53:00.000Z

You scored as Sociology. You should be a Sociology major!

Theater

100%

Philosophy

100%

English

100%

Engineering

100%

Journalism

100%

Psychology

100%

Anthropology

100%

Sociology

100%

Mathematics

92%

Dance

75%

Biology

75%

Art

67%

Linguistics

67%

Chemistry

58%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

What a day!

2006-01-12T01:10:00.000Z

surprise! 1st thing was where did she get all those shredded paper? did she sneak into work to take them. don't remember us having a shredder at home. do they sell such stuff. hmm

from left to right...
Famous amos cookies. as a child i used to love the black ones, but i think i've grown out of it. i like them but just less frequently.

prawn crackers, like tiny spring rolls, so crispy. more of my mom's fav than mine. (did u know every time my mom and i go grocery shopping in spore, i'm the one who has to be the bad guy and say :" Ma, put those bags of crisps away, u know how bad they are for u." followed by:" no Ma, not those nuts mix or the fried crackers or the fish crackers, u're coughing as it is." followed by endless times of taking and putting things off the shelves. And on her bday..." o.k we'll get KFC to eat on ur bday."

chocolate love letters. maybe i'll share that with the people at work. lionel's fav.

pineapple tarts. yum.

bolu. (malay for spongy, chiffon-like cake or pastry). i like! esp dipped in milk or a hot chocolaty drink!

pair of jeans which my mom fixed cos they had holes in my pocket. it's not funny when coins started filling ur shoes as u walked.

lastly hair moisturiser to fight the evils fo dry weather.

Daph's goodies. my fav of all of them is the brunch bar. i like my muisili and muisili bars. looking forward to the special k cereal cos nvr tried that one before. how come daph wants me to drop a jeans size. i'd thought she'd get me fat with the most fattening cereal. haha.
I really like how this week's been going so far. Andy on monday, daph's grocery treat on tuesday, mom's chinese new year goodies got picked up today (+credit card), wednesday.

Such a lovely week thus far. there are downs though. like waking up late today, starting on a new experiment, with too many variables and parameters. no surprise, i didn't think out thoroughly first. went straight into it. had to repeat the 1st bit 3 times to get it right. realised once i got it right, another parameter had not been considered. the whole thing was impossible to do in 1 day (though i tried anyways.) well, that wasn't that bad. at least i ironed everything out. but just as i was running my gels, all 8 of them, everyone had to evacuate cos there was a controlled bomb explosion happening. something to do with TMP? more explosive than TNT lurking around that needed to be rid of.

wasn't my luck is it. anyways, things weren't going smoothly anyways. tmr's gonna be a fresh start without the bomb scare.

onto asian boyz, not only am i playing himbotic eugene in california dreaming, now i'm also playing 53 yr old wee kim who was married to a wife (duh), had a son, remarried a guy whom he met 1 yr after the wife died (aww), been together for 20 yrs raising the son and decides to go to a bath house looking future son-in-law. psst. his son's gay too, and all that for a supporting role. intrigued? piqued ur interest?

scripts to learn, test to prepare, pub crawl on fri, andy on my mind, oh yes and work.

note to self: go sign up for gym induction so u can use gym and swim in the pool for free.

and this weekend will be geek weekend! hit those books for god's sake.

Taking a leaf out of yup's book

2006-01-11T11:39:00.000Z

I was refering to the test below, if anyone wonders. i don't go looking for such tests. they come to me.

I'm so touched by the surprise present I recieved at precisely 7 pm. I was talking to Andy online. The door bell rang. I jumped out of my seat, scuttled (is that even a word, where do i get these words from) down the stairs, skipping steps along the way.

Lo and behold, standing at the door, was my food angel. Yes, the man from tesco, carrying 3 plastic bags of food. i'm at work now, illegally blogging (they ask for my gsk username and passowrd before letting view my blog in full but apparently it's o.k to create posts).

on top of my head, there were 3 bananas, 5 apples, dolmio pasta sauce, penne, kellogs, bendicks bittermint, cadbury brunch bar. I hope i didn't leave anything out. Now it made sense why Daffy asked me wat food i like. Well, o.k if anyone ever decides to buy groceries again (please don't but i can't stop u if u really want to.) i don't buy mircowave meals or those frozen stuff that needs microwaving.

Let me share with you my 10 grocery shopping habits (when i shop and cook for myself):

1. Every visit involves browsing through every isle (even if I wasn't going to buy basmati rice or chardonnay), not in a museum sort of pace, more like rush hour. people do spend money on branding, it's fun to see what random things catches my eye.

2. Seem to be always buying apples and oranges, sometimes the occasional bananas or grapes. I always get 2 different types of fruits. maybe peaches, nectarines, plums, strawberries, blueberries. if only melons and papayas were of the larger asian variety. sigh.

3. breakfast food. I rotate with each visit to the supermarket. one week will be cereal and semi-skim milk, the next will be wholemeal bread (medium slice, don't know why they have different slice types) and either ham, pate, jam or honey. When i do get bread, I'm really worried they'll go mouldy so i end up having 2 slices of bread for breakfast and another 2 for lunch at work. I normally have a cup of hot drink like milo but since my milo stock has withered away, i'm left with my green tea stock and horlicks (i don't really like it but hey it's a gsk product and i do get 20% off)

4. Don't buy lunch food groceries unless it's bread week. ( i shop according to the meals i'll be having for the week), then it'll be ur usual lettuce, tomatoes (cherry) cos it's messy to actually cut big tomatoes esp if they're not firm or u have a blunt knive), with watever breakfast filling i've bought. If it's not bread week, then it's a panini or salad from work. People in my lab all eat in front of their desk, it's so sad.

5. Dinner food. Pasta. no surprise. i'm a noodly person so it's usually linguine, spaghetti, sometimes fusili. I get scared by penne cos u get water trapped in the tubes, so becomes soggy, and they grow so big, unless it's in soup like daffy's or marcroni in soup or cheese.

6. Vegetables. I luv all except brussel sprouts (wouldn't put in my mouth) and celery (will go down my throat but causes my face to contort. (i'v only known 1 person who luved brussel sprouts, as in luv not just willing to eat). Broccoli, spinach, asparagus seems to be the few i go for. sometimes carrots or long beans. having to plan according to the expiry dates. Or sometimes i have a salad which is hard work in terms of buying, cos there's a little of everything in there, fruits (grapes or cherry tomatoes or raisinsor apples), nuts (walnut, cashew, pecan etc), cheese, pieces of meat (not really), cos lettuce, rocket, dressing. so u end up pinching a bit from a lot and u're stuck wondering wat to do with the bits and pieces left over.

7. Meat. I oscillate from chicken, turkey, pork, salmon and tuna. not sure why i don't go for beef. i eat it of course. i wonder if it's cos of my irrational fear of eating beef in uk or that i see that brown colour of myoglobin (remember those food chem lectures we had on beef). i've to think on the expiry date and plan.

8. It's worked around the fact if i can boil the meat, add the pasta and boil and then boil the veg near the end, drain the water, and add pasta sauce to it, then i'll have a healthy meal with only a pot and a plate to wash.

9. Some random urges now and then include yoghurt, biscuits, cheese. and other stuff only when there's an occssion or other people.

10. I have a stock of toiletries from spore. looking back, i can't imagine having brought so much the first time round. especially the toothpaste!

let me end where i left off. thanks daph for the £15 grocery, and making sure i'm well nourished. U really are an angel. it was all ur gd doing right (and the tesco people)? cos i wouldn't want to have left out any angels hiding in the wings.

I'm so touched. don't feel like eating the food now. can u imagine eating every mouthful thinking ''daffy did this. OMG!'' haha. I'm gonna display them and take a pic of it.

How true is this? Quite.

2006-01-10T22:34:00.000Z

The Mixed Messenger Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDm)

Just...take...the...fucking...flower...darling.

The Mixed Messenger apologizes again.

You're looking for love, but you'll always maintain your independence. You're prepared for a real commitment, but it's also likely that you're ambitious, which creates a certain romantic tension and ambivalence within you. So although you can be very affectionate to someone, you are also capable of pulling some dubious shit.

Your exact opposite: The Playboy Random Gentle Sex Master

In a relationship, you're usually the emotional leader. With your friends, you're a little bit more part of the pack. You're well-liked but you're not the uninhibited type, so the spotlight's often on someone else. In both social and romantic situations, however, you almost always get what you want. Influencing people is something you do very well.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy

CONSIDER: The Mixed Messenger

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: quirky18

So how did it go with Andy? I hear u asking

2006-01-10T19:12:00.000Z

Haha. It was great! The best ever! (well, not like I've got many to compare to). The most comfortable, and normal of them lot. haha. o.k let's do this properly. We were to meet up at Fulham Broadway tube station, (the same place I first met any guy online i.e. Jamie from Fridae, Chanlek's ex bf for was it 1 or 3 months?)

I think i arrived 10-15 min earlier (7pm meet up) wat did i do besides fret over that scab on my forehead? (actually, it wasn't that bad, cos most of my colleagues ignored it, and i had a couple of close friends ask me abt it so I did manage to repeat it a few times, feeling better after) now i spotted him from across the atrium. Can't miss him really. He was abt to text me when I approached him. First sigh of relief when people actually turn out to look like their pics if not better! We went to Nandos. How do i describe nandos to pple in spore? something like kenny rogers? it's mainly chicken. grilled/roast? marinated and comes with peri-peri sauce. Andy chose, he treated (how sweet) and we ate.

There were talks of paris, talks of my incident, talks of phobia of heights, talks of prague, talks of history, talks of singapore, talks of australia, talks of gay, talks of out. I don't think i made many eye contact then. The food was more than enough. i was stuffed. Oh, and his souvenir tatt from paris? a mini golden eiffel tower. Then came the awkward ''what happens after dinner?'' He asked me abt getting back and I told him the last train was at 12am, to which he replied I won't be staying that late. and at that, i didn't know how to describe what i felt. it wasn't relieve or jumping over the moon.

anyways, to kill for more time, we went to sains to get boos. and pringles. ( although the pringles was a bit off in hind sight, wat were we going to do?) So we walked back to his. not too far away, with all the boos. a 6 min walk? we swopped carrying the boos halfway. very kind. Got to his.

Cosy nice place coming from a student's perspective. His room has a massive bed with lots of pillows which doesn't leave much space for anything else. a ps2 (sonic the hedgehog and crash bandicoot. my childhood revived, relived?), a tv(sky news), stereo system (madonna's new album, followed by Life fm? then century fm?), speakers, lots of cds and lots of belts. haha. with a paper lantern over the bed, xmas lights round the curtains, a harrods teddy bear, gizmo the mogwai from gremlins, and a hollow rat from ikea. it is much neater than how i seem to be describing it.

So there we were. on the bed. one drinking calsberg, the other fosters. I can't really remember wat we talked abt. very random things. His 4 bfs, the height range of people he's been with, stuff on the tv, more sharing. He was cool through out. Oh, and I gave him his bday present. haha. yup, he was shocked prob more than surprised. I couldn't think of where he would put it. the kitchen? the bathroom? it was overflowing from his side table. There were alot of drinking and going to the toilet, we had to take turns cos there was only 1 toilet and both of us had tiny bladders. haha.

Time seemed to just fly by. Before i knew it, it was approaching 10 to 11pm, by which time i said i had to go if i were to catch the last train. To which he replied can't u stay or something to that effect. I breathed a sigh of relief cos i scarsely thought i'd catch the last train anyways. More drinking and toilet trips? I think i was on my 3rd or 4th can. can't remember.

Anyways, one of the highlights of the night was the kissing. Who needs lip balm when u have andy's lips. I still can feel his kisses, very strange, but there was lots of it. lots of lip sucking, tongue play, exploring each other pretty much. Even my nipples are still twitching from all that sucking and nibbling. I really felt at ease though, not too excited or was that the alcohol? but luckily, i didn't cum too quickly. something i feared would happen as had happened before.

I just really enjoyed the whole thing. The groans, and moans, the shuddering of bodies, the breathing, the love bites (pics to follow)

haven't washed off the concealer stuff yet, but very obvious. i enjoyed it though.

and ear play, my first ever being rimmed and all that ass play! how cool was that. hmm, wonder when i'll get to rim then be rimmed. If all other guys were short films, then this would be my first encounter with a full length feature film.

It was pretty long, and the room was pretty warm, which didn't really help one to sleep. I couldn't really sleep after all that. I remember holding hands while sleeping, interlocking digits, and tender strokings. Looking at at his cute, sexy body and face.

and then there's the morning after, which i never had many of. don't know. i'm not a morning person. all i could think of when will the next time we would meet again and looking at him. just looking. Hopefully, I'll get to know him better. Haven't really, except he's a big madonna/kylie fan. He's a very sweet, caring guy, unreserved with his affection, down to earth, easy going and very hugable and also sincere.. I wonder what he'll be like if wasn't nervous/scared. haha.

Captainpup to the rescue aka Andy Peacock

2006-01-10T18:27:00.000Z

This was him aged 20! I would've said 12 - 15 yrs old. Some people never age. (Manchester boy. Daph and tiffy's closest link to QAF?)
Prague, some time this year? may? Sober. cos someone couldn't drink any alcohol. aww.

now, which gummy bear best matches the pic above? He's name is cubbi and is it any wonder he's pink?
No Daph! Resist the urge to pinch. tsk tsk.

well, not quite. but almost. use ur imagination a little.
The (lost & startled) pup look.
He really looks like a (playful) pup here. OMG. haha.
we all love the sun, don't we. (all) yesssssssss.

Post-traumatic counseling with Daffy!!

2006-01-08T22:19:00.000Z

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

y crash and burn!!

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

*sends a hug

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

literally

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

burned?

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

oh no.

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

very silly story

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

i was taking a hot bath at 2am

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

ok...

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

and den!

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

might have stayed in there for too long

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

or got up to quick

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

so i felt like blacking out

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

ohhhh.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

maybe coz u dun eat enough

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

so i staggered to get out of the bathroom

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

cos didn't want to collapse in the bathroom

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

icic.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

r u better now?

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

got some cool air outside

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

ic... \

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

i staggered some more into my room stark naked

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

and?

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

somehow, was groggy enough to collapse onto the carpet

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

narrowly hitting my head against the bed or side table

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

oh no..

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

causing skin burns on my forehead

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

is that all?

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

u can still see the small path of blood at the corner of my bed and side table

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

HUH...

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

i got up

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

and staggered backwards

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

r u disfigured? can still meet andy on monday not?

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

apparently crashing again

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

crashing into?

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

cos i closed the bed room door with my body

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

ok..

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

then i was fine

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

okie.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

phew.

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

if anyone saw me

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

wat about now?

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

they'd think i've been shot by tranquilise or pissed

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

i've got a skin wound across my forehead

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

and that's it

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

okie.

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

oh man, am i really gonna say this to andy?

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

well

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

u could

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

or say that it happened whilst u were trying to save me or sth

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

haha

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

can i just say i slipped while getting out of the tub and fell on the carpet in the bathroom

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

i want to cut out the staggering crashing twice

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

ohhh.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

yeah u can do that.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

blame it on the slippery floor or sth

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

haha. i just hope he laughs after

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

if he's all serious that'll freak me out

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

u wanna see the wound?

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

haha sorry dc'

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

haha.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

its okie...

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

i tot medics might like such things

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

i do..

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

but andy's not medic

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

well

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

it shouldnt be anything serious.

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

it's not, just obviously embarrassing

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

yeap

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

well..

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

should i postpone?

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

no!

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

please larh

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

if he snubbs u becoz of a wound on ur head

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

hes quite not worth it aint it

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

no but how i get the wound is pretty silly

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

well

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

just say you slipped and fell.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

which is true

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

i know

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

but its ok to be silly!

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

why do these things happen to me at the right times?

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

u dun have to be so uptight about it...

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

haha

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

do U WANT to see the wound?

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

hokay

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

haha

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

u make it sound soooo big,

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

it doesn't help having a big forehead lor

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

i want to see!

u got dc!!

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

nvm

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

the small icon is enuff

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

is it?

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

yes..

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

its quite the big

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

that big?

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

oh well.

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

it can be a good conversation topic

Fidel- crashed n burned says:

but i did apply oinment so makes it look bigger

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

ic..

z.i.c.k.z.e.n says:

its okie actually

somehow the last word is a bit unnerving. thanks anyways daffy. i'll just thicken my skin as usual.

Falling head over heels with disastrous consequences

2006-01-08T21:37:00.000Z

Right, let's go back to the frightening series of events that led to this horrid disfiguration.

2 a.m.: Taking a proper hot bath. I don't normally do baths. Did them a couple of times, but the hot water would turn cold too soon. I must've added too much cold water. wasn't gonna repeat the same mistake. (yes, i didn't but boy did i cause another)

2.30 a.m. : (i think) Can't really remember. who bathes with their watches on anyways. It was nice and warm. Realised i was being cooked like a lobster. My skin was red and all. (the arms at least)

(couldn't really make out any sense of time after this)

stood up. maybe too quickly or cos i hadn't eaten much or just been dehydrated. (i'm guessing pple do sweat in hot bath? just u wouldn't realise it?)

so did that. then thing's started to go dim, started feeling light headed. With a feeling that i was gonna blackout, (the bathroom was pretty steamed up with very humid air too so that made breathing a challenge), i reached for the bathroom door and unlocked it (it'd be tragic if i were to be unconscious in a locked bathroom, i may end up drowining in the toilet bowl, how scary)

Opened the bathroom door, stark naked. was kinda disappointed that i didn't feeling an overwhelming gush of cold air heading my way. So i staggered towards my bedroom. (thankfully it's 3 steps a way). Where's the brakes on this?! In my stupor, I staggered towards my bed but collapsed just before reaching it, with a big thud, landing head first on the carpet. Thank god I missed hitting my head against the corner of my bedside table. (it was right at the corner between my bed and bedside table) U still can see a slight patch of blood on the carpet.

Anyways, I wasn't gonna just lie there till the morning after (my bedroom door being wide open and me stark naked) so whether with this in mind or not, in all grogginess, i picked myself up only to seem to have collapsed again. the only thing i realised as consciousness came back to me and the dimness faded away, i was knelt in front of my bedroom door (closed) with my back facing it and a scratch on my neck. I figured i must have closed the door by collapsing against it. i really can't remember.

then as consciousness came back to me, I was terrified. too petrified to lift myself up. Only now did the burning sensation of the abrasion i had suffered on my forehead became palpable. I put the back of a trembling hand towards my forehead. phew. no blood.

As much as i wanted to sleep, i had to go back to the toilet to wash the wound and apply antiseptic oinment before even crashing (on the bed). So did that. applied betadine (with Povidone Iodine USP 10% w/v) .

went to sleep dehydrated, naked (dry), and a burning feeling on my head).

i think i've gotten myself into enough hot soup for one day. Well, they do say most accidents happen at home? even though it might have been more for elderly people. i'm still in shock. such a series of unfortunate accidents, not as bad a that in Something Abt Mary but as scary as that bathroom scene in Final Destination 1.

No flowers please.

70s Music

2006-01-08T11:18:00.000Z

Right, now how many of the 144 70s songs do I like? I've a feeling it might not be as long as the 60s. Listening and blogging. the 70s sound very disco, very laid back very on drugs. haha.

1. Ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't 've), Buzzcocks
2. My Sharona, The Knack
3. Showdown, E.L.O
4. Up against the wall, Tom Robinson Band
5. Man from Manhattan, Eddie Howell
6. Silver lady, David Soul
7. On my radio, The Selecter
8. El bimbo, Bimbo Jet
9. Magic, Pilot
10. You to me are everything, Real Thing
11. Rapper's delight, Sugarhill Gang
12. Greased lightnin', John Travolta
13. Roll over Beethoven, E.L.O
14. Kung fu fighting, Carl Douglas
15. Dreams are ten a penny, Kincade
16. Beach baby, First class
17. Long cool woman in a black dress, The Hollies
18. 2-4-6-8 Motorway, Tom Robinson band
19. Rubber bullets, 10CC
20. Slyvia, Focus
21. This perfect day, The Saints
22. Cotton fields, The Beach boys
23. Here comes the sun, Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel
24. The air I breathe, The Hollies
25. Please don't go, KC & The SUnshine band
26. Loving you, Minni Riperton
27. Hot child in the city, Nick Gilder
28. Popcorn, Hot butter
29. Darlin', Frankie Miller
30. If i had words, Scott Fitzgerald & Yvonne Keeley
31. Hocus Pocus, Focus
32. Tears of a clown, The Beat
33. Little girl, The Banned
34. A walk in the park, Nick Straker Band
35. I go to pieces, Cotton, Lloyd & Christian
36. Don't give up on us, David Soul
37. Tiger feet, Mud
38. Proud Mary, Ike & tina Turner
39. O.k. Fred, Errol Dunkley
40. Sideshow, Barry Bigs
41. Gangsters, Special A.K.A
42. There's a whole lot of loving, Guys & Dolls
43. Heaven must be missing an angel, Tavares
44. American Pie, Don McLean
45. Make me smile, Cockney Rebel
46. Streets of London, Ralph McTell
47. Time in a bottle, Jim Croce
48. More than a woman, Tavares
49. That's the way I like it, KC & The Sunshine band
50. Swing your daddy, Jim Gilstrap
51. Volare (net blu dipinito di blu), Al Martino
52. Uptown festival, Shalamar
53. Don't do it baby, Mac & katie Kissoon
54. Nice and Slow, Jesse Green
55. Boogie oogie oogie, A Taste of Honey
56 Gonna get along with you now, Viola Willis
57. I haven't stopped dancing yet, Gonzales

.